Homestuck Therapy
by k13aquamarine
Summary: Sort of like The View, only in chat form and we get off topic. Jess and I attempt to analyze the comic and its characters. Rated T for language. SPOILER WARNING. Also references. Lots and lots of references. Your opinions matter!
1. The Rant That Started It All

After reading Homestuck, I felt the need to analyze my own feelings about it, so I went to the friend of mine who got me hooked on it in the first place. We ended up chatting on Facebook about it for a really long time, and the conversation is still ongoing, and so I'm posting it up here for two reasons: One, to have a record to prove how much funnier I am when I'm half asleep than the rest of the time; and two, to get our own ideas and theories and opinions out there for people to ponder, and to (hopefully) get a response from people about their own ideas and theories and opinions. Because Homestuck is a very complex comic, what with all of the time travel and paradoxes and, especially, the confusing romances!

So, in this long chat, my friend Jessica and I analyze the characters, ponder plot possibilities, and sometimes get waaayyy off-topic, but it's all here, (mostly) unedited. The stream-of-conciousness is confusing at times, as is both of our tendencies to respond to messages that happened several messages ago. I'm sure some of the conclusions we came to are way off, and that's why it's up here! So anyone who can correct us or add their own input or even ask other questions for us to think about can do just that! There will also probably be confusion because Facebook turned many of my characters into smileys or those big pink hearts, and those don't show up in the document, so there may be some spaces or something or I'll talk about how stupid a smiley is or how it wasn't supposed to be a smiley...yeah, there should be a smiley there. I apologize preemptively for the confusion though, as I'm sure you will be confused at some point.

Also, we reference a lot of things in here, and even post some links up to various stuff. If you see a link to something of yours, you can let me know, I'll give credit where I need to (there're some links to DA and even a couple references to stories here on FanFiction).

Finally, I would like to say that I don't own Homestuck. It only drives me crazy. XD

* * *

><p><strong>The Rant That Started It All<strong>

**KALYN**

K so I just caught up with Homestuck and now I'm trying to figure out all of the hormonal issues flying around here with all of these 13/6-year/sweep-olds, and, well...it's just a big convoluted mess. and I tried to sort it by character and wow, I feel so bad for all the humans for being a part of all this complicated troll drama, they're even more hormonal than adolescent humans! going around kissing each other like that. and HB (or whatever he's called) never helps with his -driven commands for them all. "YOU THERE. BOY. KISS THE GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? KISS HER! GRR!" WTF?

And, wow, so okay anyway this is the mess I came up with cuz I was tired of trying to match my ships but there are so many potential ships with this thing I almost feel like either A) nobody should be dating or they should all just have one big orgy and revel in the incestual pleasures of each other (that's what the paradoxical ghost slime is all about, right? and also troll reproduction. that's what that's all about.)

I mean, fuck, jeez. Jegus. wow. okay. here's the classifications I came up with:

John: Shipped w/ Rose (by Karkat), must revive her (kiss), has potential "grandson" (himself?) with Jade(?), possibly hit on by Karkat who wants a Kismesis, definite friend w/ Karkat, Vriska wants to date him and confesses to him

Rose: Shipped w/ John by Karkat and the revival and all, total friendship (possibly more?) with Kanaya, not much interaction w/ other trolls

Dave: told Rose he loves John (sarcastic or sincere? who knows, it's Dave.), shipped w/ Jade by Karkat, shipped with himself(?) by Terezi, Terezi confides in him in the same way Vriska does with John so potential feelings there?, hilarious rap-off w/ Equius but no potential romance of any kind from just that

Jade: has grandchild w/ John?, shipped w/ Dave by Karkat, blossoming friendship w/ Karkat (after all the hatred blew over), Tavros wanted to be her Matesprit potentially, helped by Kanaya (I believe nothing more than sort of coworkers here)

And now for the hormonal trolls. Here we go:

Karkat: wants Kismesis with past/future himselves AND John, blooming bromance with John, minimal interaction w/ Rose or Dave, suddenly becoming friends w/ Jade (even going so far as to tell past himself she wasn't that bad…hmmm?), he and Terezi supposedly had a "thing" according to many characters and they totally made out toward the end there (after he answered that stupid note from Gamzee==WHY WOULD HE ANSWER A NOTE OBVIOUSLY FROM GAMZEE IF HE WAS TERRIFIED OF HIM AT THE TIME AND IT SUGGESTED A "SLOPPY MAKEOUT SESSION" ON THE ROOF AND KARKAT HAS NEVER PUT UP WITH SUCH NONSENSE IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE), Gamzee calls him "best friend", Sollux is also a close friend of his (and he blames himself for him getting pummeled twice), Nepeta is secretly in love with him and wants Matesprit, Equius gets off on following his orders

Terezi: confides in Dave and cries when he dies, had a "thing" with Karkat, has a Kismesis-esque relationship with Vriska and kills her…others?

Tavros: likes Jade, kissed/killed by Vriska who wanted him at some points to kiss/kill her, Kanaya cut off his legs for him and Equius built the robot legs…

Vriska: wants to date John, Kismesisters w/ Terezi (caused each other's injuries?), caused Tavros' injuries and their weird bully-love/hate ship, part of the murder trio, showed a for Kanaya after Kanaya defeated the murder trio face-off, killed Aradia (right?), fellow blue-bloods with Equius and plotted co-leadership/usurpury w/ him (and Aradia), in love with Nicolas Cage

Gamzee: not much beyond a good rap-off once with Dave and Dave sending him the trigger-video and calling Karkat "best friend" and murdering everybody

Kanaya: friendship w/ Rose for sure and helped Tavros lose his useless legs, and now she's a vampire? what? she's biting lots of people. why?

Aradia: once dated Sollux(?) and later became Equius' smooch-bot, only said goodbye to Sollux before exploding, long history with Vriska

Sollux: good friends w/ Karkat, once dated Aradia(?) and now dates Feferi after she kiss/revived him, Eridan seeks rivalry with him

Feferi: once diamonds (Moiralerwhatever) with Eridan, washed her hands of him and became Matesprit w/ Sollux, Eridan wants her to be Auspiticesclubsthirdmember w/ him and Sollux

Eridan: seeks any sort of relationship with everybody (desperate), once w/ Feferi, wanted Matesprit w/ Feferi, REJECTED, seeks Kismesis w/ Sollux, REJECTED, seeks rivalries with everyone else, REJECTED, kills Feferi now part of murderous trio

Nepeta: w/ Equius (purrfect relationship) and secretly in love with Karkat, role-plays w/ Terezi and Vriska still, Eridan saw her as a desperate last resort for Matesprit

Equius: gets off on anyone ordering him around (especially below his class on the caste system), regards Gamzee highly for being above him, platonic enemies w/ Eridan because it's tradition, in love w/ Aradia (lowest peasant of them all!) and builds her a robobody, also builds Tavros' legs, great rap w/ Dave (what was the point of that conversation again? he revealed a lot of embarrassing fetishes with that slam poetry. wasn't he trying to figure out their means of class/caste?), w/ Nepeta

And, y'know it seems to me that Karkat and Vriska are the most mixed up in all of this, and it saddens me. My favorite troll and my least favorite troll are gettin all mixed up in everyone else's quadrants! too many hormones! this cause problems because for Karkat, being my favorite troll, I want him to be involved with certain people, you ship your favorite characters with certain other favorite characters and he's with some of my not-so-favorite characters (Terezi, for example. also, I'm not big on Jade. she's cool and all, but a little annoying to me. I guess I'm saying I'd rather Karkat follow these homosexual tendencies he's been accused about so much lately? feh, idunno.) and with Vriska, because she's my least favorite troll, I don't want her mixed up in the romantic relationships of my favorite characters at all, and there she goes causing confusion and strife for poor Tavros and confessing her "feelings" to John and manipulating him and such and bluhhhhhhhhbluhbluhhhhh! O_O

agh! Fuccckkkkkk, y'know? Wow.

...

So I guess this is how I bide my time after I've caught up. Also, been reading for days straight doing pretty much nothing else, I needed the rant just to get some things straight in my head and properly deal with all of the mixed emotion turmoil smoothies I been having. This webcomic causes so many emotions, and this is only one category of emotions it causes (or one category of one of the many emotion-causing aspects of the comic, I guess). The other is all the death. and Rose's possession was a little upsetting. But mostly the death. I want all the characters to be able to actually meet each other before they start offing each other. and themselves. man, it's just sad.

Also, and I just feel like saying this, although Terezi is also low on my favorite character scale (not much better than Vriska) and Dave is exceptionally high (maybe even my favorite?), their relationship doesn't upset me as much because at least I know Terezi is sincere, and also Dave is so cool that in my proper shipping of him he can either be shipped with no one or everyone. Actually, no matter who he ends up with, it doesn't affect his coolkidness in any way, his coolness will just outshine everyone around him. And if anyone is lucky, maybe even the coolness will rub off on them just a little bit.

Feh, okay, good place to end here. Please read this and enjoy it, you may even spark a long conversation about all this and I can rant some more. I have many feelings to get out about this it's ridiculous. I've never been so affected by a webcomic before. I feel a sense of doom about it. This comic is ressurrecting my old apocalypse feelings. Except now the feelings only pertain in a ghost-like manner to this comic. I feel doomed FOR the characters. But anyway, here. I'll just stop abruptly in case I start rambling into another tirade again.

**KALYN**

wow...facebook, oh my god, really? yeah, smiley with shades, cool and everything, but that wasn't my intention. it should reasonably follow the A) statement with the statement that is preceded by B ), not . stupid stupid stupid...stutid.

**KALYN**

oh my god, and I just realized I didn't even begin to cover anything that may have happened between server/client relationships (I mean, we know with the four human kids there's nothing to it, but there's so many fucking trolls involved in this and their feelings about each other seriously affected who would be server to what clients and who was on the red/blue teams and YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T EVEN FUCKIN REMEMBER WHO SERVED WHOM AND WHO WAS CLIENTS TO WHATEVER! This is so confusing! But with all of the deaths or injuries that happened just in the medium before they ended up on that meteoroid there were a lot of feelings flying around there too! There were some combinations of ships and pairs that I didn't even CONSIDER in my quest to make sense of it all! Is there even more to this than even I expected, than I bothered to acknowledge in that meaty information rant in that long-winded christmas present message? Hopy shit!


	2. Did you like the typos?

She finally responded to me, after me spamming her ipod with texts as well (oh, if I could post that thread here too! it was considerably shorter, but there were some gems). PS: Jessica is one of the lovely people who writes the Avatar/SnapCracklePop fanfiction! Don't think she has an account here, but she deserves love! She DID introduce me to Homestuck, after all, and many other wonderful fandoms!

* * *

><p><strong>Did you like the typos?<strong>

**JESSICA**

hey, I saw your monster message

**JESSICA**

I have one thing to say to you: I love you X3

**KALYN**

Which monster message? lol

I have a couple going here on a couple different devices...

btw, check your ipod

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I was looking at it with a little trepidation. And this one I saw.

Lol, that was great. So, what do you want to talk about? Oh, also, it hasn't been that long, if you had sent them this morning I may have felt worse about it (actually you would have woken me up, so I probably would have been a might bit miffed...)

**KALYN**

Did you like the typos?

Also, you KNOW what I want to talk about, it's all RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

All of it.

You're turn to say something

Yeah I was going to stop the ipod/phone thing too

Like, it was decided in my mind right before reading that message that I would stop answering after reading that message

**JESSICA**

Flah! Pressure much? You left me speechless on your rant! Do you want me to write you a seven page essay on the subject? ;P

**KALYN**

Good thing you addressed it in the message before which I decided and after which I stopped talking

And no, I just want you to answer my questions... or opinions...

Just go ahead and rifle through it again, work up some rebuttals

Then get back to me with some debate material

Did you like the typos?

**JESSICA**

I do like your incestual orgy though. Oh, by grandson person do you mean Jade's "pen pal"?

**KALYN**

yes, the pen pal...didn't he claim to be John's grandson? and John speculated Jade was the kid's grandma?

I'm suspicious that the pen pal is actually John

**JESSICA **

jegus

stutid

hopy

i'm assuming that is what you are referring to

**KALYN**

Yes

Remember they were little inside jokes they all had?

Dave coined Jegus and Terezi adopted it

and John said stutid and hopy a few times

nerdness overflowing

**JESSICA **

you're even talking like them XD Like your message about the not continuing the two front war!

**KALYN**

Alright now besides typos, there's a lot of really deep shit in that rant, anything else to say? Do you have particular ships? I'm sure your opinions differ from mine greatly on the emotions connected to all this drama

OhIKnow

I keep switching personas too

It's cause most of this webcomic is buried deep in chattext

it affects me

In fact, after reading a series of unfortunate events I started talking like Lemony Snicket with his weird analogies and shit

Stuff affects me easily, stuff I read, all the time

Which is why I love reading voice-heavy stuff, it's interesting and I get to change a little bit

Like I'm a sprite being prototyped to some degree by reading shit

I take on the personalities in my writing

**JESSICA**

I think that this little arc we are currently having may be a split off from the Alpha timeline, because one decision set off a big portion of it. You know, Dave sending that video ;D So I think that may be how AH gets around the whole dead Rose thing since she isn't on her bed or anything. All the trolls will come back though, since Kanaya has her little vampirism thing going on.

**KALYN**

Okay, so the vampirism has revival powers? Cool, okay, I can deal with that.

Hmm, the Rose thing...

Does that really trace back to Gamzee's flipshit?

flipshitting*

verb

yep, I just corrected my grammar on a word that isn't real

**JESSICA**

OH MY GOD! IT'S MY TURN TO TALK! KALYN BE QUIET FOR A MINUTE! roflcopter!

**KALYN**

Kay, yeah, I was gonna do that and tell you I was gonna do that right before the message you sent before the last one. The penultimate message you sent me relative to this one. I was going to say I'll stop talking because I wanted you to say something to me it's your turn to talk so I'll stop talking now kay go.


	3. Timefuck Reacharound?

Has anyone else considered this possibility Jess came up with? That this current arc may have possibly strayed from the Alpha timeline and that somehow it'll all be altered or...something? Gosh, it's too late for paradox questions! DX

* * *

><p><strong>Timefuck Reacharound?<strong>

**JESSICA **

My ships are: Karkat and John. Clubs among Jade, past Karkat and future Karkat (because I saw someone on Deviantart with that ship and I thought it was perfect and hilarious). Terezi and Dave. Feferi and Sollux, but only because I think Feferi is adorable and can be with anyone she wants. I don't really like the NepetaxKarkat idea, I know she likes him, but I don't know. You mentioned all of the canon ones all ready, and usually I go with the canon ships, I don't like shipping outside of canon that often unless I think it's obvious enough...ummmmmmmmm...what else...I can't actually see any of the humans together. The only real possiblities are Rose and John and Dave and Jade (unless, as Karkat suggested they have homosexual relationships, but that won't help the future of humanity! ) Dave's comment about loving John I think was serious, but I think it was more of a brotherly love and less of a romantic love. I don't care to think of Equius or Gamzee having affairs with anyone, mostly because before Gamzee went apeshit on everyone he didn't care, he was good friends with Karkat, but I don't remember how Karkat felt about him. I think Tavros and Jade would be adorable. Also, Eridan is too desperate to be with anyone either.

**JESSICA**

Kanaya definitely has feelings for Rose in the red quadrant. Before she had feelings for Vriska from their gaming days (I'm assuming). Terezi and Vriska were in the black quadrant, but I think Terezi moved on, although she isn't against the idea now. However, after the whole mess with Tavros, Aradia and her own vision, I don't know how willing Terezi would be to really start something up again. Eridan wants to start something up with Sollux in the black, and I think they are almost there...although Eridan died, didn't he? I think the timeline is going to pull a mean reacharound on us though.

**KALYN**

Oh yeah I forgot about Kanaya and Vriska

Cuz Vriska had Kanaya make some dress or something and then she kissed Tavros and Kanaya was angry

At the time I thought it was cuz she liked Tavros though, but I didn't put that much thought into it since Kanaya and Rose are the only pairing in this whole convoluted mess of hormones and incest that really make sense to me

Like...OTP

BTW, I'm putting all of this into a word document...cuz for some reason I feel like it might be important later. O_O

**JESSICA **

Hearts Boxcar (HB?) I think wants everyone to love each other. Because he's the heart, ya know?

And I've been thinking this for a while, but I think it would be hilarious is Spades Slick and the Snowman had a thing together, or *had* a thing together. Althoug I'm pretty sure the Midnight Crew is in the future but from the Troll's world, because during their little intermission thing he goes down into the basement (remember) and sees a video screen with Karkat on it. He recognized him, so I think Spades Slick is their Jack Noir. Which might explain why the Snowman isn't dead, because the black queen died in the human session.

Also, I know prototyping Jade's sprite with Bec may save them in the end, because Jack isn't going to kill her. In the castle where he killed John's dad and Rose's mom (that killed me, btb, because I really wanted John to reunite with his father!) there were four watchamacallums that hang from on the wall. One for Dave, Rose, John and Jade. The Jade one, as I recall was left alone. So I think it will not be their downfall, because the outfits set Jack off, he refused to wear the stupid outfit. I think it would have been great if Jade had prototyped her sprite with a frog though, that would be very interesting to see what would have happened.

I would say "You're turn" but I can all ready see you've been replying anyway =_=

**JESSICA **

Am I going to have to host an intervention? "I feel like it might be important later." That's so funny XD but yeah, you do that.

**KALYN **

Yeah, that statement just went into the record.

This'll be great to look back on I'm sure.

I'll be smacking myself for my stupididty

How do you know the timefuck reacharound won't accomodate the dead guardians? I mean I guess maybe they kinda have to die since all the trolls' lupi(?) died too...'cept they were ker-sprited.

Gosh, I dunno.

What about the trolls' ancestors too?

All we've seen of them is Vriska's "ancestor"'s journal entries, and those are eerily close to things that happened to several of them, so they could just be a fanfiction of them or a roleplay scenario or actually them from the future

That's a mystery to be solved...

**JESSICA**

I found something else that may be construed as Dave loving John in a not so brotherly manner. In a conversation with Terezi (one of their first, before he trusts her) he doesn't want John to know about his Bro baling him out. He doesn't say anything about Jade or Rose knowing. So I don't know.

**KALYN**

Hm, I dunno, Dave never gave a fuck what Jade thought and I dunno about Rose really, I guess yeah it always seemed like he was keeping up his coolkid act for John rather than for his bro or himself or everyone else

Also did I mention way up there that Terezi seems to ship Dave with himself a little bit? What with all the extra Daves running around through the time loops it seems she may have gotten some fun ideas or someshit.

Silly little blind voyeur...;P

**JESSICA**

The whole ancestor thing was actually sort of explained. Unless it IS them from the future, the young trolls follow the footsteps of their sires like that. Their lives are going to parallel one another. Terezi and Vriska were destined to hate each other, wasn't Gamzee's ancestor entrenched in all of that too?

I agree the guardians should have died, and they will probably stay dead, but it still kills me, because I really wanted John and his dad to reunite (like I said). But, yeah, they are going to stay dead in the long run, they'll probably die again if it is a "timefuck" reacharound

By the way, that smily face was for your smacking yourself for your stupidity in the future.

**KALYN **

I don't remember Gamzee in it, but the references were kind of obscure and difficult to understand.

I did get that Vriska's parallel-guardian-self had some major smutty stuff goin on with some slavetrollchick and her kismesis did not approve. couldn't tell who the kismesis was though, for some reason I just pictured Jack Noir, pre-prototype. Stupid, really.

And I know Tavros/guardian was definitely in there somewhere with the taming of the dragon thing that she wanted.

And yeah, the stupidity will be stupid and the smacking will also be stupid, but that doesn't stop me from doing all of this now.

The record still stands.

**JESSICA **

lol, I have a hard time seeing Dave actually *with* himself, since he's a coolkid, not narcissist. But Dave does seem to have the same relationship with his future self as present/past Karkat does with his future self. They both rely on their future selves. Dave may have a relationship with himself, but that is the extent of it, I think, but even that isn't ideal, since your partner in relationship needs to offset you in some way, and the most an alternate Dave could do is correct Alpha Dave's mistakes.

Future Kalyn: Facepalm x2 Combo.

**KALYN **

Ha, well I was taking things specifically from Terezi's point of view. She had a fun little comic involving him and Davesprite about an event about to occur. Still, there were underlying messages it seemed...

Win.

**JESSICA**

I couldn't remember if Tavros was actually there or not, and I seem to remember a more ominous version of Gamzee in there somewhere, he might have been the one presiding over the trial, or something like that.

**KALYN**

Tavros was definitely there

and Equius

Vriska wanted Tavros to tame Terezi's dragon beast after the trial

This copy/paste thing is starting to get tedious..._


	4. Toppanel Booty Calls

Here we ponder many of the issues surrounding death and romance and time. Hey, anyone else have any theories on who Jade's "penpal" is who helped with her rabbit-gift to John? He claims to be someones grandson... Also, any other thoughts on WHY KARKAT ANSWERED THE STUPID NOTE? Heh... anyway...

* * *

><p><strong>Top-panel Booty Calls<strong>

**JESSICA**

OH FUCK YES! DID I CALL IT? I SO FUCKING CALLED IT!

Ok, I wasn't actually caught up to today, so everyone talking about Vriska actually asking John out on a date was a little confusing until now, but were you watching the top panels above the comic?

**KALYN **

unfortunately I didn't notice those panels were there until today and I didn't feel bothered enough to go back through them to see what happened in them, so I just caught a glimpse of Jade and Dave catching frogs together

but please, indulge me.

what did you call?

actually when exactly did those panels start?

**JESSICA**

when we first entered cue ball head's place. they're just about spades slick's visit so far as i can tell.

**KALYN**

just saw cue ball head's "face" reflected in the fire…0.0

**JESSICA**

Spades Slick and the Snowman hd a messy, bloody hate makeout scene, that's what cue ball was talking about in the commands, not what John was doing

**KALYN **

cue ball? commands? john was doing?

oh, answer me this, since I'm revisiting it right now

WHY WOULD KARKAT ANSWER THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE:

bro

SLOPPY M4K3OUTS. NOW.

on the roof.

H3 H3 H3 :o]

There are so many reasons that he shouldn't have... (facepalm)

yeah, these top panels make a lot of the stuff in this part of the comic make a lot more sense. I can't believe I didn't notice them before, especially some of the more ostentatious ones...

**JESSICA**

lol, I know, but maybe he though it was better to get dying out of the way soon? Because he knew he was going to die? Cue ball head is...I think he prefers Doc Scratch. Now, start here, but only pay attention to the panels at the top. You will see the beauty of it. I would suggest continuing until you see Jade, because it's pretty funny. .?s=6&p=005753

**KALYN**

oh, don't worry, I'm way ahead of you. in fact, I've gotten to the frogs.

**JESSICA **

ok, do you remember the exact comic where Karkat recieves the message from Gamzee? I want to read it again.

**KALYN**

don't know why Jade's out collecting frogs in her special gown, but it looks as if she and Dave are about to be attacked by their Jack Noir.

That comic is in the panel-fun stuff.

somewhere...

Go look for it.

obviously, Gamzee was trying to be Terezi and either trap Karkat or actually play sick matchmaker and set them up.

But it was so obviously Gamzee with the typing quirks and the purple and Karkat was at the time TERRIFIED of Gamzee and his murderous ragefit

and he so adamantly denied ever having a "thing" with Terezi, which is a horrible reason, I know, all the hormones and shit

But Karkat has been such a no-nonsense leader and with all of the murder and shit going on, why the fuck would he answer a booty call on the roof?

ESPECIALLY one that was covered in the fingerprints and signature of the current serial killer?

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I saw the Jack Noir thing. I still think things will be ok in the end. I don't think AH would end things this way for this bunch. He's spent far too much time into it, and I think he really likes it. The other's I've seen of his are all crap in comparison and the crappiest he's left to die (the two i've read, they're pretty bad, but he references them a little, like the "What pumpkin?" thing) So, I may be naive like John, but I very much believe things will be all right for everyone (except the guardians, they had to go all along)

**KALYN**

Oh, I know they'll all be fine. I think your reacharound theory has some merit. He might as well kill off all the characters before he does it instead of just Rose.

Oh, and the trolls. Yeah, they're dying too.

**JESSICA **

But Kanaya is bringing them back, case and point: Sollux.

**KALYN**

Think she could do the same for Feferi, Tavros, Eridan, Vriska…

Damn, who HASN'T died yet?

**JESSICA**

You know what's really weird? John's dream self had a Jack doll in Harlequin costume.

**KALYN**

Also all the one-eye-one-arm parallels between everyfuckingthing.

The harlequin doll, Jack/Spades slick, Vriska

**JESSICA**

Not Vriska, she'll take care of herself, so long as Jack doesn't totally destroy her clock that is. The only one who hasn't died thus far in some manner is Jade. Actually, never mind, she probably died in the original time hiccup.

Yeah, the queens only have one eye and one arm. I don't know why!

**KALYN **

It's cuz they took on the likeness of the damaged Harlequin doll when John prototyped the kernelsprite with it.

.?s=6&p=005743

Here's the comic with the stupid note. The one right after it is where they start commencing this shit all over the right side of the panel...kind of off to the side there. All over the space slightly to the right of the panel.

**JESSICA**

Ooooooooohhhhhhhh, yeah! I totally forgot about that! Hmmm...Then that would explain Jack's missing arm and eye after the whole stealing of the ring. And then Snowman cut off Spades Slick's arm and stabbed his eye.

I just realized something. I should have realized this before, but Doc Scratch's place is under the Felt's hideout. That's where SS went!

**KALYN**

Schweet. One mystery solved!

**JESSICA **

Ok, here is my theory as to why he actually answered the note. It's in Terezi's chat style, and she does the stupid pictures like that. He must have thought it was from her messing with him. I didn't even realize they were making out, I thought they were just hugging...which I know realize was a stupid assumption.

Oh, and what did you think of John and Zillyhoo?

**KALYN**

That still doesn't address Karkat's up-til-then no-nonsense leadership policy. Would he still answer the booty call given the circumstances?

Kay, obviously the answer to that is yes, but that still doesn't quell my frustration!

AndohmygoshZillyhoowasamazing

**JESSICA**

Hmmm...from Terezi, maybe, but it would have to be totally secretive because he wold want no one else to know. Although really, as far as he's concerned they're all going to die anyway so what does it matter? Under "normal" circumstances maybe, but it would have to definitely be from Terezi, and she probably wouldn't send *him* the message due to her thing that's beginning to blossom with Dave.

**KALYN**

So are you suggesting she would send someone else the message? And, again, I'm totally frustrated because I feel Karkat would've been able to see through the Terezi act. It was so obviously Gamzee. Or maybe he thought it was Gamzee the whole time, messing with him? Like a "Hey, I killed Terezi, now come up here to die" thing? And when Karkat found Terezi there alive he was relieved enough to follow the stupid Gamzee/Terezi orders and open a can of THIS-IS-STUPID all over the space beside the panel!

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I really loved Zillyhoo too, actually if I remember correctly that's what made me want to show this to you the most!

**KALYN**

Y'know, now that I think about it, that theory makes a lot more sense.

**JESSICA**

Lol, Terezi probably wouldn't send that note to anyone, not like that. Anyway, taht was allready the template she used for a Dave, she wouldn't use it on Karkat. Karkat did think Terezi was dead, and your scenario makes sense.

**KALYN**

awesome. another mystery solved.

This is great, we're addressing issues from my rant here.

This

This could be good therapy

For my issues

Of my stupid emotional investment in this comic.

btw, I also loved the Rufio bit

and that he actually drew that stupidity.

There's no shame.

No hiding from the stupid for THIS incredible amazatard authorman!

**JESSICA**

lol, glad i could help, i was hoping to talk to somebody about this, and james would bring up TVTropes and other obscure things that i really don't want to get into. He wouldn't deal with the issue at hand

yeah, Tavros is great. That's why i think it wouldn't be bad if he and Jade got together.

**KALYN**

Ha, no, I was talking about the real Rufio bit. When the author...

you know, the Rufio from Hook

Here's a hint:

THIS

IS

STUPID

Actually it was more like

T

H

I

S

I

S

S

T

U

P

I

D

!

If I remember correctly.

**JESSICA**

? I vaguely remember this, I suppose I should let you finish your thought, but by the time this is posted, your thought will have been finished so i'm going to go anyway.

Your whole theory taht Jade's grandson(or son?) is actually John from the future is something I doubt. He doesn't talk like John, and he's a little different from him, and although people change as they grow older it doesn't make sense to me why he would say he was Jade's progeny.

**JESSICA **

OH, yeah, that was hilarious

**KALYN **

progeny? hmm...I dunno. Like I said, it was really just suspicions, I hadn't really drawn any solid conclusions from any of it. it might even be someone we haven't met yet, which would be a little weird for this comic and the way it gets off on paradox timeloops and ectobiological incest and such.

**JESSICA**

Progeny=descendent, I just couldn't think of the latter word at the time, so I went with progeny. Sorry, that's how Homestuck affects me, I talk like a total pretentious book worm.

**KALYN**

Ha

And I talk like Dave

**JESSICA**

So i've always assumed he was someone we hadn't met yet. But your right, that wouldn't make a whole lot of sense...

**KALYN**

and sometimes the exiles

and the trolls

and yeah I guess we've established I'm impressionable

**JESSICA**

Lol, it's ok, i'm a total romantic who bawls at the silliest romantic crap, like just now? when Vriska lay there dead grasping for her computer with that message to John, I started to tear up a bit. Total cry baby. so you I think may be a little better off...although then again, i stop crying while you...you continue to talk like everybody...

**KALYN**

lolololol

This'll be great to look back on!

I haven't even gotten tired of typing our names above all of these yet!

Although the copy/paste is just as tedious as before.

fuck that thing shouldn't be smiling. stupid piece of shit.

face.

that, but

more close together


	5. Srs sloothin

So we tried to psychoanalyze all of the trolls, and I would LOVE to get some other opinions on this! Seriously, I fucking love this stuff, I don't care if the characters are fictional! Any thoughts in the reviews please!

* * *

><p><strong>Srs sloothin<strong>

**JESSICA**

lol. So, I totally forgot that John's bunny plus knitting and robotic enhancements saved him from Jack the first time when he landed on Skaia after the moon crash landed. Toootally forgot.

**KALYN **

my favorite part was when he started giving out bunnies like they were going out of style. and Karkat's frustration with him because of it. especially the conversation between them preceding the incident.

**JESSICA**

I thought it was funny because it was Karkat's fault

**KALYN**

And now we've digressed from serious sleuthing (srs sloothin O_O) to "I liked the part when -! 8D"

...

should I stop writing all this in the document now?

Are we out of important things to say?

can I categorize everything hereafter as "not as important later as the preceding material is/will be"?

**JESSICA**

Well, we can continue the srs sloothin if you prefer, what would you like to slooth?

**KALYN**

I dunno, lemme go back, see if there's anything we haven't addressed yet.

**JESSICA **

Just so you know, none of those faces become smilies for me, so you're correction of them makes little sense to me.

Oh, yeah, btw, the reason why they are all hormonal is because they are all in junior high or the equivalent thereof.

**KALYN**

Oh yes, I've realized this

-sigh- how about we go through each troll and analyze? that might make me feel better.

let's pretend we're Rose!

starting at the bottom of the list with...Equius!

**JESSICA**

lol, ok, who shall we start with?

**KALYN**

too late! ha!

**JESSICA**

Oh god, him...obviously he has an issue with his self image.

**KALYN**

and the whole blood thing too, his head is at odds with his heart

centrally speaking

combination superiority/inferiority complex

**JESSICA**

His obsession with making robots is geared towards his obsession with his own perfection.

**KALYN **

to EVERYONE

oh, sweet

also his ridiculous strength

but what about the musclebeast fetish?

I mean, strength, sure, but

why musclebeast? why bring beastiality into the mix?

or, I guess, with all the other issues these trolls have, WHY THE FUCK NOT?

**JESSICA **

He thinks of himself as weak, so he tries to prove himself wrong by defeating robots he has created, he is fixated on whateverthosecreaturesare's strength. And yet he wants to be proven correct, so he wants people to order him around.

Exactly. Musclebeasts are the epitome of brutish strength, which is all Equius has going for himself, or at least as far as he can see.

**KALYN**

He's attracted to Aradia because she behaves like a highblood despite her peasantry, and so he tries to "redeem" her by allowing her to live in a robot he filled with blueblood (his own perhaps?)

And he's Saggitarius but CAN'T SHOOT A BOW!

bluh?

why do you think he's the only one with a great relationship?

he's got Nepeta. How do they offset each other so well?

**JESSICA **

Where else would he get the blood from? Unless that's the color of musclebeast blood? Actually it probably is. Him not being able to shoot a bow is part of his struggle for perfection. The most elegant instrument of death, and he can't even wield it proves he is no better than a lead footed peasant of the worst kind. He is a failure and he should be ordered around as such.

Nepeta is comfortable with who she is, and she tries to bring Equius around to seeing the greatness in himself, and in doing so toning down his violence (which is sort of what she's there for).

**KALYN**

Despite her own violence...but she kills to eat I guess, out of necessity, whereas Equius will build robots specifically to destroy them.

**JESSICA**

Exactly, Nepeta is only as violent as her environment requires, while Equius will run himself ragged with his masochistic fits.

**KALYN **

speaking of which, let's talk about her, since Equius is an open book

**JESSICA **

I-n't she adorabull?

**KALYN **

she's more of an enigma to me

actually

maybe it's her simplicity?

**JESSICA **

She's catty without being bitchy.

**KALYN**

there aren't many issues there, where I expect there to be

we know she has a secret crush on Karkat

but she doesn't seem to have any romance in the black areas

or want any for that matter

rephrase: she doesn't seem to be seeking any for that matter

**JESSICA **

Like I said, she's comfortable with who she is. She's not hung up on the whole blood heirarchy, and she's set off from the rest of the trolls for the most part. She avoids the unnecessary drama. Her lusus is probably the least high-maintenance. Don't forget the lusi are part of who the trolls are. Equius has a musclebeast butler, Nepeta has a cat, Vriska a spider, Tavros a bull fairy. The only one who seems to really differ from her lusus is Feferi, but I suppose that's what happens when you have Oglogoth as your lusus.

**KALYN**

Ha lol

Okay well what about Eridan?

he's also an open book, he made all of his romantic intentions very clear

with Feferi, Sollux, and all of his other desperate attemtps after facing rejection

**JESSICA **

I think Nepeta's isolation was her greatest asset. I don't think she worried too much about being asked to procure any relationship juices out in the middle of nowhere. It would have been more trouble finding her than it would be worth.

**KALYN**

makes sense

**JESSICA**

Yeah, Eridan is pretty desperate.

**KALYN**

granted he was rejected in just about every way by just about everyone

**JESSICA**

But he, like Equius is hung up on the whole blood thing. But to add another hitch to this cart horse, he has to contend with being aquatic and that much better than everyone else.

**KALYN**

Yeah, whereas Equius isn't even at the top of the spectrum

What about his murderous tendencies, what with the entire ocean before and then angels? and then when he ran out of available targets, he began killing the other trolls in fits of passion?

**JESSICA**

He thinks that Feferi and him make sense as a matesprit, and any of the land dwelling trolls should scramble at the chance of having any sort of relationship with him. Feferi raises a good point at one point. She tells him for all he claims to hate the land dwellers, he spends a great deal of his time out of the water.

**KALYN**

Does that imply that he was attracted to land dwellers all along?

**JESSICA**

He was killing the other trolls because he lost hope. He never would have killed Feferi or even destroyed that egg if he felt there was any chance of survival. He couldn't let hope live in others when he himself had none.

**KALYN**

right, the hope thing.

sucks though, he could've helped with the whole hope thing

let them all live at least until that egg was taken care of

then see where things were going

**JESSICA**

I think maybe, or at least he didn't *actually* think he was better than them. But he was trying so hard to convince himself he was better and they didn't deserve to live that he hated himself for all of the similarities he saw between them and him. I think his violence stems from not truly understanding himself, or wanting to silence that part of himself. He wanted to destroy the land dwellers so he didn't have to continue seeing the inferior beings and seeing the similarities that were always there.

**KALYN**

Okay I'll accept that.

So, Feferi.

Why Sollux?


	6. Miss Endearing Nickname

And then I got really tired... I think there are still some unanswered questions in this one, so if anyone has any ideas...*wink wink* your opinions would be greatly appreciated. :D

* * *

><p><strong>Miss Endearing Nickname!<strong>

**JESSICA**

I-n't she cute?

**KALYN**

Did she know him before? Were they corresponding? Did they Extreme RP together?

Why do you think she chose HIM?

**JESSICA**

I don't know

**KALYN **

and no, I don't find myself particularly enamored by any of the female characters

beyond Rose and Kanaya at least

**JESSICA**

It was implied that she did the RPing because she also had to feed her lusus, so while Vriska got the trolls, Oglogoth got the lusi. So it is very possible they interacted, likely even. Either that or she just liked him. It very well could have been during their adventure. We did miss a good chunk of it.

**KALYN**

I thought she fed the animals Eridan killed to her lusus?

**JESSICA**

lol, i think she, nepeta and jade are cute. admittedly in a sugary sort of way, but cute nonetheless.

**KALYN**

bluh

**JESSICA **

They were lusi though.

**KALYN**

I have a record of no cavities, I like to keep it that way

And?

What about the lusi?

**JESSICA**

the animals eridan caught for feferi were lusi. when he kills that whale they mention something about another young troll will go without it's lusus.

**KALYN**

OH that's right

heh

and it seems to me that she CAN just choose whoever she wants to be with

and since we didn't see the part of the story where they actually knew each other before she kissed him back to life

then I guess it doesn't really matter

moving on

**JESSICA **

yeah, which was a pretty funny scene if you ask me :B

i'm going to leave you hanging for a moment, so you think of some stuff and i'll be back

**KALYN**

k I just went to the bathroom just now anyway and you totally didn't notice

NINJA

8B

try to decipher that face

I guess Sollux is up, since we're moving in a chain here

**KALYN**

he had a past relationship with Aradia, a current relationship with Feferi, and a close friendship with Karkat. seems to ignore any advances of the black nature, and wants absolutely nothing to do with the human players. all logic, and yet has a great relationship of passion going, which is mostly on Feferi's part I guess. Probably wouldn't have approached her himself.

Do you think he liked her before she made her intentions clear?

I mean I guess we can't really know and it's pretty inconsequential and a bit irrelevant.

And you know, maybe he HAS sort of responded to Eridan's advances, since he's lost like 2 duels with the guy now, one in which he died.

Oh yeah, and he was a psychic like Aradia, he could hear voices of people just about to die, and when all the murder happened and he went blind and lost his teeth and lisp, he was in a relatively good mood because the voices were gone

Which I guess means people were done dying? Except that Tezeri stabbed Vriska after this, so maybe Vriska isn't really dead.

But Sollux seems to like being toothless, I guess all his teeth were getting in the way all the time, he can speak without a lisp now.

**KALYN **

Do you think he'll go for Kanaya now? Like could it ever happen? Or are they both too aloof to care about stuff like that? Cuz it certainly wasn't Sollux who made the first move in his most recent relationship. How do you think his relationship with Aradia got started? Who asked whom?

I'll let you go through this and answer now, it's getting pretty question-heavy

Oh yeah, one more question: Why was he all blue and red with the eyes and the psychic electricity powers? Besides being psychic and hearing voices, what could he actually do? And was his vision special before it lost its color? He had one blue eye and one red...

**JESSICA**

NOOOOOO! THE PAGE REFRESHED AND EVERYTHING I HAD WAS LOST! ):B (NOW CHANNELING KARKAT)

**KALYN**

shit, that sucks. can you remember it all again? I mean, it was just answering my questions, right? you can get back on the tangents?

**JESSICA **

ANYWAY I WAS BASICALLY SAYING SOLLUX AND KANAYA PROBABLY WON'T HAVE ANYTHING WITH EACH OTHER, BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T BE , AND KANAYA'S RELATIONSHIPS ALL WENT TO BUST BEFORE. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE IN A CLUBS RELATIONSHIP WITH TAVROS AND VRISKA BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH VRISKA, AND SHE COULDN'T BE BOTH, SO SHE STEPPED OFF. BUT THEN VRISKA AND TAVROS GOT TOGETHER (SORT OF). ROSE IS SORT OF A LOST CAUSE, OR AT LEAST SHE THINKS SHE MAY BE, ALTHOUGH I THINK ROSE IS STILL HER MAIN TARGET. SO HER AND SOLLUX'S RELATIONSHIP WILL BE GREY AT THE MOST. AND SINCE I'M ON KANAYA, DOES SHE REALLY HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIPS WAXING INTO BLACK?

To the red and blue eye thing: HE WAS A GEMINI, DUH.

**KALYN**

first of all, how do you know for sure Kanaya sought with Vriska before? I can mostly see it with Rose, yes, my OTP and all that. And, uhhh...she was pretty ruthless with the murder trio there when she descended down upon them and kicked some serious ass, I think she may have some blackwaxin feelings for at least one of them. Which is slightly ironic, since after that fact, Vriska totally fell in with Kanaya (again? was that ever a thing?)

hahahahaha, yeah Gemini, I know this. But why the specific colors BLUE and RED?

…where did my Sollux answers go? :'5

**JESSICA **

I think it might be, i'm getting to that point in the comic again, so i'll read up on it in a bit, but that was the feeling i was getting from her. maybe that was influenced by her pursuit of rose and not totally understanding trollian romance? I don't know. And please explain to me what OTP is again?

**KALYN**

One True Pairing, basically someone's favorite pairing in a fandom, it's the only one they support to the very end of the earth no matter how little sense it may make. In this case, it's the only pairing that makes sense to me in this convoluted mess of a shipwreck.

**JESSICA**

Hot and cold? I dunno. But i'm pretty sure that's why they labeled the two teams like that. i think the psychic thing could have to do with being of both Prospit and Derse, it either did something to him or he was special to begin with (aw, to hell with it, why don't i just admit it's because he was of prospit and derse, he was always going to be of prospit and derse, and there's no point questioning it)

**KALYN**

dude, that whole double-life things suddenly makes sense now...O.O Gemini... (smacks forehead)

**JESSICA **

lol, might as well go for the combo

**KALYN**

FACEPALMX2COMBO

**JESSICA **

THIS IS STUTID!

**KALYN**

not as stutid as the way I jsut spelled your name jsut then in my stutididity nhehehe

feh I need sleep.

**JESSICA **

how'd you spell it miss smartypants?

**KALYN**

umm idk something like jesicsa

or someshit

anyway

**JESSICA**

lol, throw me more questions i'm on a roll!

**KALYN **

can we pick up this conversation later

l8er?

ha

cuz I'm so tired and stuff

and maybe you can start copy/pasting shit!

oh wait you won't, cuz it's not so important later to you in the future right now!

and I'M the one with the issues about emotional involvement!

-cries-

**JESSICA**

gah, fiiiiiiiine...but we'll pick this 8ack up l8er or else! 8wahahahahahahahaha!

**KALYN **

K! Bye!

ps

**JESSICA **

hey! i never said i wasn't emotionally involved! I get involved! The whole reason I introduced this to you was so i could talk to someone about this specifically!

**KALYN**

I'm glad you're enthused about this, and I didn't just drag you by the sock into all this

and, yeah, good

your planned worked

perfectly, in fact

I h8 you for it...

only a little though

because as you have witnessed, it spurns the rants inside of me to vomit all over the cyberpages of the internet space!

**JESSICA**

by the sock, lol

**KALYN**

yeah, figured you probably weren't wearing boots...

**JESSICA**

88888888D

*8888D

not wearing socks either ::::D

**KALYN **

funny, I figured that much too

wasn't about to say "the callous of your heel" though

that'd a been gross

**JESSICA **

gr8 analogies 8y the way!

don't really have callouses on my feet...

**KALYN **

psh, well aren't you perfect, Miss Softfoot McBabyskin!

and I am a master of metaphors

totally

**JESSICA**

yes, but that's why i have such bad achne

even though, i realize it's not as bad as it could be...

**KALYN**

why the fuck am I still copy/pasting this?

meh, I'm goin to bed!

**JESSICA **

8ecause it is 8eautiful and you know it!

**KALYN**

See you later, when we pick up this awesomeness of awesome!

bluh

**JESSICA**

that was l8me and you know it! Try aga8n tomorrow! ;;;;P

**KALYN **

?

K

**JESSICA**

FACEPALMX3COMBO!

Oh, 8y the way, Gamzee was the judge at the Marquise's trial. When Terezi and Vriska were reinacting it, he was the judge and Feferi, Eridan, Nepeta and Equius heads were the jury.

So maybe those four aren't coming back in this timeline? I thought Kanaya bit Feferi though... maybe the hole in her chest was too big. and Eridan's head was cut off, so taht's not really soemthing you can heal from...


	7. DA Spamming

The links are broken...and I don't care. They're mostly just DA fanart of Homestuck Jessica felt like sending, and I pretty much describe each of them, so if you think I'm describing your artwork, then...let me know, I guess, and I'll give credit later. :) There's also a broken link to a Youtube video in there, but it's completely unrelated. XD Jessica and I become sort of art critics here, and we talk about the types of art and pairings we enjoy, and the stuff in fanart we just can't quite understand. Can anyone explain Gamzee/Tavros to us?

Oh, by the way, all of her frustrated sentences and re-posting links were because the links weren't working in the chat.

* * *

><p><strong>DA Spamming<strong>

After I left FB and was long gone:

**JESSICA**

I was looking for something that was not this, but this was too cute, so you have to look at it. I will continue to search for what I was looking for that was not this. But all of this will be inconsequential because you will return long after I find the thing I was originally searching for. .com/art/Homestuck-a-little-gift-pt1-212579620

**JESSICA **

and i rather like this one. .com/?q=homestuck trolls&order=9&offset=144#/d3d33jc

still not the one i was looking for though

**JESSICA**

.com/?q=homestuck trolls&order=9&offset=168#/d3hzrlu

Look at teh stupidity! (Still not that picture, it's more elusive than a shadow at high noon)

**JESSICA **

and apparently Gamzee and Tavros are buds? Everybody draws them together...I don't understand...Tavros, Gamzee and Equius or Tavros Gamzee and Sollux, it doesn't make any sense to me. What are your thoughts when you get back?

**JESSICA **

That is to say, right now when you get on

**JESSICA **

This is cute, and it raises a ship we forgot about, left in the harbor to fend for itself, keeping the pirates from totally disassembling it, only surviving due to it's cannons of canonity. .com/art/Would-It-Be-Easier-P-1-204239534

**JESSICA**

Like this, what the hell? Where did this even come from? .com/?q=homestuck trolls&order=9&offset=384#/d3a4klc

**JESSICA**

This is cute .com/?q=homestuck trolls&order=9&offset=456#/d36bewf

try taht again .com/?q=homestuck trolls&order=9&offset=456#/d36bewf

GAH! .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=456#/d36bewf

there

AGAIN! I DON'T GET IT! .com/?q=homestuck trolls&order=9&offset=456#/d3hcrwo

Let's try this again... .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=456#/d3hcrwo

I DON'T GET IT! .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=504#/d3in4u0

**JESSICA**

see, this is what i imagined when they were off to the side having their moment .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=600#/d3io3h5

**JESSICA **

minus the dorky smile on Karkat's face, more of an oh-my-god-i-thought-you-were-dead-i-am-so-happy-you're-not-now-we're-going-to-die-together-i-love-you-so-much! Like a look of despair yet joy all at the same time.

maybe burrowing his face into her shoulder to hide the tears that are no doubt welling in his tearducts.

**JESSICA**

AGAIN WITH THE GAMZEEXTAVROS LOVEYDOVEY! WHY I ASK YOU, WHERE IS THE BASIS FOR THIS SHIP? IT'S LIKE A GHOST SHIP THAT PEOPLE LIKE TO TALK ABOUT BUT IT DOESN'T EXIST! .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=624#/d3ebvcc

**JESSICA **

teehee .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=648#/d39auvl

why? why kalyn? please be a beam of sanity in this chaos, please. for my sake. .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=648#/d39wza3

it's even thrown in here...i ...don't know what ...what i'm going to do! .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=672#/d3e5ul6

this one, at least, i get .com/?q=homestuck trolls&order=9&offset=696#/d39l6rx

shit, again =_= .com/?q=homestucktrolls&order=9&offset=696#/d39l6rx

**JESSICA **

and after all taht i couldn't find it :((((( but at least now we have something to think about. GamzeexTavros. Am I just not seeing it?

**KALYN **

woah, okay, this is a lot to sift through, so I'll just go chronologically.

okay, indestructible mug, totally canon pairing, cool. very well drawn too

trolls...wow, that powerpuff girls picture...wow...

that grub comic is definitely adorable and emotion-invoking...and we didn't forget about Karkat/Sollux ! I mentioned it multiple times, even in my rant! you just forgot about it. Go look at it again, you fool!

Gamzee/Tavros...honestly, I have no fucking clue. Gamzee shouldn't be in any passionate ships with ANYONE based on what we've seen thus far. Only thing ever mentioned is that he always refers to Karkat as "best friend".

I think people just like how they offset each other? crazy/cool/clown Gamzee and insecure/timid Tavros?

As for the Gamzee/Terezi/Karkat blood picture... I don't feel "this is cute" was an accurate description... I've also never really enjoyed serious blood-porn pictures... No accounting for taste though.

Trolls don't have tear ducts. I'm sure this was mentioned at some point. Or at least someone made some offhand comment about "human tearducts" and how weird humans were...

lol, ghost ship. I like you're ship puns, by the way.

Ha! I like the blind picture of them smelling Karkat. If I were to choose a troll to smell, it would be him. X3

the one after that just looks like Gamzee torturing/scaring Tavros, gearing up to murder him. Which doesn't make much sense, since Vriska got to him first.

**KALYN**

hmmm...no one should attempt a picture pairing up each of the trolls, since they have four quadrants not just one...it's a lot more complicated than that. Also it seems Gamzee and Tavros were just the only ones left after the rest were paired up... Tavros and Vriska could've been together, but then who would Kanaya be with? seems she can only be with Vriska...The rest mostly make sense thoug

**KALYN **

you get the Sollux/Gamzee one? then please explain it to me, I have NO idea where that came from. I said before that Sollux doesn't seem to pursue any sort of relationship in the black, much less Gamzee...and Gamzee doesn't seem to pursue any passionate relationships (especially ) with anyone, much less Sollux...so, no, I don't get it.

**KALYN**

I don't think we just have Gamzee/Tavros to think about. Gamzee/Sollux makes even less sense to me. So, maybe we should try to pick him apart next when we get the chance. Because I just always saw him as THERE, and nothing more...Just a stoner, caught up in his faygo-trips and rambling about clowns and miracles. Who calls Karkat his best friend.

(cue lots of Kalyn spamming the message queue with DA links)

Days later (in copy/paste time)

**JESSICA**

Ok, first things first, I don't remember ever calling that one with Gamzee, Terezi and Karkat cute, and since there are too many things up there and i'm too lazy to cipher through them, let's just say that if I ever did it was for sarcastic purposes because I do not like that sort of stuff. Now, if it was the creator of the picture who said that, then kindly disregard this message...actually i'm going to look for that comment again, hold up a sec.

**JESSICA **

Also, i'm very pissed because that medieval picture was the exact picture taht started this whole mess Oh well, now you've seen it

**KALYN **

lol THAT'S the one you were trying to send me?

**JESSICA **

yus...I just read the creators description for the Karkat and terezi one, I"m assuming that's what you meant by not understanding it was cute? Cuz I was confused...and that's why I sent it to you

ALSO! The reason why the Sollux hate Gamzee and the Gamzee loves Sollux thing, they had a little chat, I thought, and Sollux really hates him...so yeah, that's why it made sense.

**KALYN **

oh. I don't remember this chat.

well then

**JESSICA **

I'm on it, slowly but surely I'll get there.

2 ii know you want to get to 2ollux now, but he ii2 one tough cookiie to crack...2o...how about we 2kiip hiim for now?

**KALYN**

oh, really?

ummmmmmm

**JESSICA**

And Aradia was dead most of the time, so we don't really have a good grasp on her...although I wonder what she's going to do now about Equius that she is alive?

**KALYN**

he just seems more head-centered, and I can totally relate to that at least

you helped me with the other trolls, so maybe I can help figure Sollux out?

yeah, I was definitely not wanting to try to touch on Aradia

she went through too many transformations in physical ..ness and in personality, so

i think I also said a bit earlier that Gamzee would be interesting to analyze, since people keep pairing him with Tavros and others that don't make any sense?

**JESSICA **

Yeah, it's hard to tell with her right now...what was her lusus? did we ever know?

Anyway! What is your take on Tholluckth?

**JESSICA **

Gamzee...He I also don't get...I don't understand how being paired with Gamzee would help Tavros...he's a total loose cannon, the only good thing about him is that he's not caught up on blood and being better than everyone...So I don't have a clue.

Have you read today's?

**KALYN**

yeah except he sort of gets the blood thing after his crazy transformation

no I haven't

I'll go do that

**JESSICA**

yes, do

**KALYN**

the nicolas cage face is a nice touch there

lol

**JESSICA **

Yeah, I know he gets caught up afterwards, and that's after he hits his split personality thing? ThAt WaS aLwAyS hInTeD aT (that was super obnoxious and I don't understand why anyone would want to put up with that )

**KALYN**

meh, and you've waited till late to talk to me, and I can sense midnight, so I don't know if I'm in any state of awakeness to instigate a full-on character analysis

but if I have anything to contribute, I most certainly will

**JESSICA **

But she's DEAD! Slick killed her I know I liked her better than you did, but still...it's so sad that was how she went out. Nothing heroic about it...other than she was going to try and take out Slick.

Not Slick, Jack, sorry

**KALYN **

oh, ok lol

um...actually, Terezi killed her

to prevent her from going to Jack and leading him to the rest of them

**JESSICA **

Then contribute and I apologize for not getting on earlier, but I was busy with stuff.

**KALYN**

which could qualify as a just death?

um...am I right though? about the who killed Vriska thing?

acknowledgement of this plot point would be great.

**JESSICA**

See, I thought it was Slick destroying her clock that ultimately killer her. Unless a just death implies that the one killing her was justified? I don't know...

*killed

**JESSICA**

Ok, this is really distracting me: .com/watch?v=xGH2TQZ_OAM&feature=autoplay&list=&index=16&playnext=1

(cue abominable video of TVXQ/DBSK singing A Whole New World)

**JESSICA **

Yeah, Terezi stabbed her, but I didn't think Vriska was down for the count because of that.

**KALYN**

yes, I believe that's what just death means. it wasn't really her clock, was it? also, for the reason that John never really benefitted anyone by his own death, it wasn't heroic, therefore he did not actually die. Vriska had just killed someone and ALSO was about to tip off the enemy to the hideout and put the rest of the trolls in danger, therefore killing her was a just act.

**KALYN**

the fuck is that?

do I WANT to watch it?

I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO THIS MONSTROCITY ANY MORE

0:48

^ is when I gave up the effort.

the terrible accents are distracting

bluhhhhh

**JESSICA**

Lol, yeah, it was really distracting. I guess I could be wrong, but I thought when Slick "desecrated" her clock (.?s=6&p=005760) he forced it to be stuck on the Just side? because it looked like it was going to stop in the middle...so I don't know. Terezi certainly allowed her to truly die, without that wound Vriska never would have, but Slick knocked over the clock and forced the pendulum to be stuck and making it point to the just side. Maybe I'm grasping at straws, but that's what this looks like to me.

**KALYN**

oh yeah, cuz she said that if she took on Jack, then maybe it would cancel out all the bad things she'd done and it wouldn't be a heroic or just death

**JESSICA **

I figured that was when you gave up.

**KALYN **

mystery solved!

I'm going to take a victory pee!

**JESSICA **

GO PEE! But what was solved again? Was it Slick or Terezi who killed her? I'm assuming you now think it was Slick? And Doc Scratch said he wouldn't not bet on Vriska in beating Jack, so maybe that is why she wouldn't have died? Because she *would* have succeeded, maybe with a little loss of life, but what does the Medium care, and they could have been brought back by Kanaya?

**KALYN**

he said he wouldn't bet against her, I believe, unless I totally misread it.

which is probably what you meant, actually, so I'll shut up now.

I think it was the combination of Terezi and Slick that killed Vriska. Terezi killed her, and it was Slick's manipulation of the clock that made her stay dead because of the "Just" verdict it took on as a result.

btw, just had a delicious and healthy snack consisting of half a mango and some cottage cheese! :DDD

btw, I'm getting good at eating mangoes without cutting them up (mostly because I'm bad at cutting them up), but if I get a good slice through it, I can tear of the skin and just bite into it like a delicious, soft, sweet, tangy, juicy tropical fruit!

**JESSICA**

sometimes I wonder if Gamzee was just created for that joke with the insane clown posse...it's the only explanation i can come up with.

**KALYN**

If I'm ever on Survivor, I hope I get to be at a place with mangoes, cuz I would LIVE on the shit!

hah, maybe

I considered that too, or at least the idea that he was inspired by the video

**JESSICA**

jealous you have no idea how much i love mangos...actually we probably love them the same amount, except only lizzy and i eat them so mom never thinks to by them

and yeah, that was exactly what i thought with the clock thing, just clarifying we were on the same page.

god, now all i can think of is cottage cheese and mangoes...thanks kalyn D:

**KALYN **

no problem! you don't even have cottage cheese to curb this sudden hunger?

D:

akslidiffffffffffffffff

is what I would say if I just past out on my keyboard

**JESSICA **

I'm pretty sure he was inspired by it. I'm reading the first pesterchum EVER on hivebent, and actually, the conversation i was thinking was between Tholluckth and Gamzee is in fact between Karkat and Gamzee, so unless there is another conversation later, I was merely confused.

**JESSICA **

bwhahahaha, yeah, that is the sound you would make

are you still chronicling this? or does it feel like it would be less important in the future?

**JESSICA **

no, we don't have cottage cheese because we don't normally eat it, only when i get the craving for it...so no, no cottage cheese and no mangos and I now have a hunger that only those two things can satisfy! Now what are we going to do?

We haven't really touched on the whole sign thing either, I just randomly thought I would look up what the Leo was like (to try and figure out Gamzee) and in the first conversation, Gamzee is basically exuding Leo-ness.

**KALYN**

I stopped chronicling once I started putting up links to DA fanart. seemed pointless at that point. got all of your links in there though. don't know why.

**JESSICA**

Ok, screw it, I'm going to figure something out to eat. So i'll be back, I'll probably go to the bathroom to while I'm at it (but you know, separate the two, those two thoughts should not be allowed in the same room together, because then they would make this disgusting love child that is only befitting for horror movies)

**KALYN **

and wow, oh my god. "passed"*****. idiot.

except Gamzee is definitely a Capricorn.

really? you think food + waste = horror move love child?

I'll have you know, Food + Digestive Tract = Waste

So your analogy is meaningless and your point is moot!

almost put "you're" there, good thing I noticed it

past midnight is not a good time for me to be typing with grammar and stuff!

Just to be clear, I am going to pointlessly list all of the trolls with their respective astrological sign:

**KALYN**

Karkat=Cancer

Terezi=Libra

Sollux=Gemini

Feferi=Pisces

Eridan=Aquarius

Aradia=Aries

Tavros=Taurus

Equius=Saggitarius

Vriska=Scorpio

Kanaya=Virgo

Nepeta=Leo

Gamzee=Capricorn

There! all from memory!


	8. I gvae up on teh bakcspcace fjdk

That first broken link there goes to the story on FF "CONFESSIONS OF A SPIDER BITCH" by BlueMew210210 (which I'm pretty sure can be seen in the conversation below). If you don't want this part of the chat concerning this story up here, BlueMew210210, I can delete it. Please don't be offended by anything said on here :)

Also, during this conversation, I spent much of the time reading another Homestuck fanfiction called "Dormstuck" by bbyah, and I made some references to it. Also, I think it's what made me start thinking about pink lemonade. o.0

We got really off topic in this one, so the other broken links are to Yahoo!answers and an informational site regarding pink lemonade. And, for those who are especially curious, the "first sentence of the first answer" Jess talks about is "Red dye #7. It's the best. Life would not be life without red dye#7. Mmmm-mmmmm lip smackin good !" (at least, I think that's what she was referring to...It was funny to me, so I assumed...)

Oh yeah, and this time I got to be the primary analyzer, because I understand Gamzee and Sollux a little bit more than the previous characters we talked about! Mostly because I spend much of my time with people like those two. Again, opinions/ideas/questions/reviews are all greatly appreciated!

And yes...I realize I just updated 8 chapters of madness in one night. -sigh-

* * *

><p><strong>I gvae up on teh bakcspcace fjdk...<strong>

**KALYN **

lol .net/s/7080309/1/CONFESSIONS_OF_A_SPIDER_BITCH I find this hilariously amusing. Not about to read it and listen to the immature rant, but the summary sure is funny to me, considering my own stance on things

**JESSICA**

yeah, I realize how silly it was of me to think that Gamzee was leo when Nepeta obviously is =_=

And Skye is totally stealing my food D:

The capricorn thing fits Gamzee better than Leo anyway, and the Leo fits Nepeta perfectly, so nm

at least this much of it is perfect "Spirit's attempt to bring about the perfect society, to create heaven on earth"

**KALYN **

what did that statement entail? or relate to? I'm confused. was that for Gamzee or Nepeta?

**JESSICA **

who do you think? although i reaize that was a litle confusing since it was immediately prefaced w/ nepeta. it's for gamzee

that story wasn't bad. a nice look into how vriska might think

and i must say i appreciated the title

i'm surprised ther isn't a larger homestuck following on fanfiction

I am saddened by the number of One Piece crossovers compared to all the rest of the INTERNET AND MULTIMEDIA THEY COULD HAVE CHOSEN FROM! Geez, Hanna is Not a Boy's Name fans need to get there stuff together here! I know there is a large community that loves them both! Or at least... I think there is a large-ish community that loves them both...

**KALYN **

I didn't actually (or even intend to) read the Vriska ff, didn't feel like it. I'm lookin for pairings here!

and I agree. People need to get some creative juices flowing and put their stuff out there

**JESSICA **

yeah, maybe we should? I really wish they had that nifty drop down list of names

What I like about the Vriska one, is it seems like the creator doesn't like Vriska, but they took a rational approach and gave her a soul rather than completely ripping her apart.

**KALYN**

yeah that's what I would've done. she had her obvious tantrum rant in the summary though

**JESSICA**

I wonder if Eridan's insistence that magic isn't real was a ploy to goad Gamzee? because Gamzee said that "learning" steals the magic away from everything. So maybe Eridan's obsession with science is his attempt at making Gamzee hating him, but Gamzee never hated anyone.

**KALYN **

hm, did Eridan ever try to bait Gamzee or something?

**JESSICA**

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, she comes across as hating Vriska (so far as the summary goes) and the worst she did to her was make her angsty, but that's not even all that terrible, she's 13 years old, she's going to be angsty. So, I think BlueMew210210 didn't do a half bad job.

**JESSICA**

Not that I saw specifically, but he's so desperate, would it surprise you?

**JESSICA **

IT'S CARBONATION YOU IGNORANT DOUCHE.

CG: TRY GETTING SCHOOLFED SOME TIME INSTEAD OF SLURPING DOWN THAT WEIRD SWILL ALL DAY AND FONDLING YOUR STUPID HORNS.

TC: No No BrO, i DoN't WaNnA kNoW, dOn'T eVeN tElL mE.

TC: kNoWiNg ShIt JuSt StEaLs Up AlL tHe FuCkIn MaGiC fRoM mY mIrAcLeS lIkE a MoThErFuCkIn ThIeF.

TC: AnD tHaT aIn'T cOoL.

**JESSICA **

and what is the aim of science? KNOWING STUFF! (:D (that's an eyebrow)

**KALYN **

Yes, I got what you were driving at, ha...I was just wondering if Eridan and Gamzee ever really interacted much...but yeah

yeah, no, yeah, I got that, yeah

**JESSICA **

Well, he did interact with everybody, invited them into his pile of horns, you know. There was nothing obious, but I wonder if Eridan *was* trying to start something up. Wasn't he vocal about how stupid he thought gamzee's horn pile was? Although, admittedly, I think almost all of the guys hated Gamzee. Except Tavros, I don't think he can really hate anyone, because the only person who *deserved* his wrath was Vriska, and we both know how that turned out. So maybe that's why people paired them, because Tavros didn't overtly hate Gamzee and they love Gamzee and want to put him together with somebody? I'm trying to come up with a logical solution here ):O (eyebrow again)

**KALYN **

I think it is just people making stupid connections like that, as if every single troll needs to be paired with someone, and this is just how it works out once you get all the canon/more probable ones out of the way. you get crack pairings like Tavros/Gamzee

**JESSICA**

yeah so, back to the matter at hand. are there any of the trolls we haven't really discussed that *you* get?

**KALYN **

um I could probably pick apart Sollux or Gamzee all right

if there's anything in particular about them you want to hear me analyze

I'm going between this and fanfiction, so I probably won't be able to come up with something on my own

**JESSICA **

Do it up! Because I have a little trouble picking them apart... Sollux I would have a little less trouble with if there was more to go off of, but like you said, he mostly just seemed *there*

**KALYN **

Actually I said Gamzee mostly just seemed "there", like in terms of the romances and such

But um...hmm...

**JESSICA **

See, I don't even know where to start, I sort of understand Gamzee's obsession with clowns a little bit more now, because of the whole capricorn thing, but still...

**KALYN **

clowns/capricorn?

**JESSICA**

Oh, really? I thought you were talking about Sollux, that was sort of how he appeared to me (not in relationships since he had Aradia, Feferi and Karkat) but his hacking skillz seem more plot based than anything, because they needed some sort of explanation for it outside of what happened to the human kids, since trolls don't really have the same social structure...i don't know, what's your take on either of them.

**KALYN **

Gamzee's just a stoner, there's not much more to it. I've known plenty to be able to crack him. He wants to believe in something mystical, like following the sort of mindset of the LSD and acid pioneers of the late 60s/early 70s, reach a higher state of mind or something. But he has the highest bloodlevel class thing and you would think it wouldn't affect him at all since he never really knew or cared what that meant, he just wanted to go on believing in his clown religion and drinking his energy drinks and failing at unicycles.

**KALYN **

But then, when Dave sent him that video, he found his message, the calling he was meant to follow all along, and it somehow mixed in with his highbloodedness, and he got the destiny complex, and started going apeshit and killing everybody. This could be for any number of reasons, anywhere from it was just a random stoner thing and he's random and he just needed a cause or something to him possibly having a crazy alter ego/psychopathic murderous tendencies lying dormant within him waiting to be awoken.

**KALYN **

I think that may reveal itself later, if we get some more insight on him. Right now it's just chalked up to "he went crazy." Which could be totally true, but I feel like he could revert back to his former self, maybe with the help of some slime pies and faygo, just to calm him down a bit. But if not, then yeah, he's totally crazy.

**JESSICA**

Ok, see that was basically what i figured, but i thought (hoped?) there was something more to him. so you think the reason he went batshit crazy was because he lost all hope? Because ICP is exactly what he was dreaming of and hoping for, and he always wanted to keep hoping and believing something was going to happen, and then it did...so now he has nothing to look forward to, nothing to believe in. The whole basis of his religion is believing in something that does not exist yet.

**KALYN **

Maybe there was more to that religion he was following than we saw too

and no.

**JESSICA**

yeah, i said that before the two preceeding things from you.

from my perspective, i see that you don't think that.

**KALYN**

I think he went crazy because he finally found his cause. He believes it's his destiny to um...kill everyone, I guess. Again, something with the religion. Maybe it's more of a Genesis thing, like he's an angel and he's spreading the word by spreading murder to bring in whatever pivotal events this religion of his holds.

**JESSICA**

Hmm, the only problem i see with your theory is he thought that video was blasphemy, so I don't know...

**KALYN**

oh, yeah, that's right. which confuses me, since it fit pretty well with his philosophy. motherfuckin miracles everywhere clownpaintface

**JESSICA**

I guess the major part is we don't know much of his religion. If we knew more it would be easier to understand.

**KALYN**

right.

and this is nice, since we don't have to analyze any nonexistant romances with him! :DD

aside from him thinking of Karkat as his best friend, which was clearly one-sided.

**JESSICA**

and when it first showed Gamzee and it talked about his religion, it showed those two, so theoretically they fall in perfectly with his religion. they are "mystic messiahs" from a planet that does not yet exist (which was true before they finished Hivebent) and they go on and on about miracles. Maybe it was Dave making fun of his religion that he thought was blasphemy?

**KALYN**

oh, maybe, he could've totally realized it was ironic, and then was spurned to start showin everyone that his religion was straight up real and prove it by backing it up with murder.

**JESSICA **

Most of his relationships would be one-sided, I think, since he would "love" them and they would hate him. He makes me think of that Peter(?) guy from Humon's Niels story.

**KALYN**

That makes perfect sense!

oh, totally

**JESSICA**

maybe...it still doesn't make total sense to me, but that is certainly a possibility.

(the understanding Dave's irony thing)

**KALYN**

I dunno how much more I got on Gamzee. It's deciding whether he saw the irony or was enraged by the ... being totally the same thing as his religion, which we know little about other than clowns and miracles...deciding whether he's a psychopath or not (or if he has split personality disorder or something) or just a stoner or something...there's still factors here and we have no real way of knowing the truth of them

**JESSICA **

the difference between THE CAPS AND LOWER CASE seems to imply TWO PEOPLE because they are different ENOUGH FROM EACH OTHER.

Or at least that's how it came off to me.

**JESSICA **

I wonder if AH's next story will be Hivebent?

**KALYN **

like you mean another arc or somthinggarcant' type

I will stop using th ebackspace now because of laziness

fearit

yes, I believe Gamze has split personality disorder for sure

I am sure of it.

**JESSICA **

k, and i totally understand the distaste for the backspace button, sometimes i don't use it, only then it is atrocious, trust me

So now that Gamzee is basically totally out of the way, what do you think of Sollux? He's sort of an enigma for me. I get his whole 2 thing, but other than that he's a little confuzzling, yanno?

**KALYN**

he just doesn't like to get caught up in the drama. it's why he avoids Eridan usually and why he didn't want anything to do with pestering the humans

notice there wasn't any weird drama between him and Aradia

**JESSICA **

yeah, that was pretty obvious…brain juices are failing me today i guess….

**KALYN**

I mean, the most dramatic thing he had to put up with (besides those duels and Feferi dying) was all the voices in his head, which went away after he lost his sight (and teeth)

so he was in a relatively good mood after that defeat, despite the death of his girlfriend

**JESSICA**

yeah, he was, which, here's the thing with him losing the voices. Why was that? Was it because he lost his sight, or was it because there were no more iminent deaths? Because after that the only one who dies was Aradia, and she wasn't even going to be permenantly dead before the whole thing with Slick messing with Doc Scratch's clocks.

**JESSICA**

I remember there was something about him being prophetic and losing him eyesight, so i don't remember if he would be prophetic due to the blindness or if he would lose any prophetic abilities along with his sight.

**KALYN**

yeah, it was the imminent death thing

dude...

O.O

...

...what makes pink lemondade...

...pink?

**JESSICA **

9.9 food coloring, duh. Special...um...special combinations...to counteract the...yellowness ...yeah, good question...

**KALYN**

you shuould google it because i am to lazy tof rthe googling

**JESSICA**

lol, i can tell

**JESSICA**

.com/question/index?qid=1006050811622 I rather enjoy the first sentence of the first answer

**KALYN **

After a few minutes of struggling to get the key in the fucking slot get in there YOU FUCKING METAL ASSHOLE GET IN YOUR HOME- the door opened

I rather enjoy this random sentencea nd YOUR FACE

**JESSICA**

Pink lemonade was a drink used for centuries by Native Americans and enjoyed by European colonists during colonial times. It was originally made from crushed red sumac berries,[1] especially those of the species Rhus typhina, and sweetened with maple sugar, but the ingredients were commercially replaced with cheaper ingredients during the 19th century until the sumac industry no longer existed. Now it is simply lemonade that has been colored with pink food coloring and is sometimes made sweeter. Sometimes artificial flavors and colors are used. Natural sources of the pink color, which may also affect taste, include grenadine,[2] cherry juice, red grapefruit juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, strawberry juice, pomegranate juice or other juices. It is a common misconception that the juice from the pink-fleshed Eureka lemon is used to make pink lemonade; although often planted in yards as an ornamental, the juice is clear and typically too sour to drink

**JESSICA **

actually, i totally forgot about these: .com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%.%2F2011%2F04%%3Fw%3D580%26h%3D817&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%.com%2F2011%2F01%2F13%2Fgorgeous-heirloom-lemons%2F&usg=_EOMHudz7j6UCHy3msTl58ktgJyc%3D&h=817&w=580&sz=79&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=X3G84bHus5rg5M%3A&tbnh=171&tbnw=142&ei=aQf7Ta65N8v1gAen2pTeCw&prev=%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Dpink%2Beureka%2Blemons%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1579%26bih%3D661%26gbv%3D2%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=143&vpy=283&dur=167&hovh=267&hovw=189&tx=121&ty=180&page=1&ndsp=21&ved=1t%3A429%2Cr%3A14%2Cs%3A0&biw=1579&bih=661

(redirect link to info about pink lemons)

**KALYN **

red dye #7!

**JESSICA **

actually, we could probably make some traditional pink lemonade there are red sumac bushes at the Ashland Safari park (you don't want to try different colored sumac, some of it is poisonous, but i know the red is definitely safe) and then we add it too lemonade

**KALYN **

is that closeby?

did you like that sentence with the key? I liked that sentence with the key. I liked that sentence with the key hard.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, just around the corner from Mahoney and Around the Bend, not far at all. Sumac is supposed to make great tea too.

**KALYN**

nom

**JESSICA **

What? what comment with the key?

**KALYN**

lol you obliterated it with all of your research

nice job

it is currenlty sandwiched between two useless pink lemonade paragraphs lolouhlsxhahaneyeha

that's how i laugh now

**JESSICA**

In North America, the Smooth Sumac (R. glabra) and the Staghorn Sumac (R. typhina) are sometimes used to make a beverage termed "sumac-ade," "Indian lemonade" or "rhus juice". This drink is made by soaking the drupes in cool water, rubbing them to extract the essence, straining the liquid through a cotton cloth and sweetening it.

**KALYN**

you know, i really don't fucking care that much, really

i just wondered if you used pink lemons or food coloring if the stuff actually existed before red dye #7

and carmine

just a passing fancy, but if you wanna make the tea and lemonade, sure, we can make the tea and lemonade

**JESSICA **

where did that even come from? Was that in a fanfic? Or were you doing something with a key in a totally inefficient act of multitasking...carrying around a laptop and unlocking doors. Kalyn, I think you may need some sleep if that is how you are spending your time.

**KALYN**

just stop researching it

**KALYN **

lol its from a fanfic I just liked the sentence

its totally something i would say though if I was in the aforementioned scenario

**JESSICA**

yay! i guess, you're indifference is slightly irritating you brought it up silly

**KALYN **

ha! no backspace on that laster sentence! and I even said aforementioned!

lol laster

**JESSICA**

good for you and I could definitely see you saying that, which is why i said the upper statement...that sentence sucked...but we'll ignore it...by bringing it up. Now we're ignoring it *IGNORED!*

**KALYN **

well you were spammin g me weith the research of a thousand souls of pink lemondae and stuff and there were paragrahps about how the native americans used to drink berries and then it wasn't even about the pink lemons eanymore

**JESSICA **

pink lemons were never used for it, their color isn't strong enough for that. I WAS EDUCATING YOU! YOU WOULD JUST RATHER BE IGNORANT AND BEHOLD THE MOTHERFUCKIN' MIRACLE OF IT ALL!

**KALYN**

yeah, and the juice of the pink lemons is too souer, fuck that's so horrible, sour lol

to drink I did learn something

I absorbed it, I promise. the little glimpses of imformation I accidentlaly set my eye upon, I absorbed.

**JESSICA**

lmao, k

**KALYN**

I clicked on all the links you put up here and read the paragrapsh despite my indiference, but i didn't not read them. I didn't just ignore them because you are my friend and you were reasearcheing for me because I asked you a question. and then afterward you were just researching for you because suddenly it was intersting. for you.

**JESSICA **

XP

We are getting really off topic here

**KALYN**

oh. yeah. I forgot we had one.

I feel like my typos and ignorance of the backspace button are like the text equivalence of slurring speech, wich I proably would be right now if I was talking out loud. or if talking didn't keep me alert all the time. cuz then I wouldn't be slurring anymore. so fuck, nevermind.

what were we talking about before?

**JESSICA **

lol, yeah, we have probably about two hundred replies on one topic

**KALYN**

lol. another fun sentence:

I just want to sleep. Why won't people just die so I can sleep?

this is a funny ff

**JESSICA**

? Which people?

**KALYN **

hm? all of them, I guess. mostly Karkat and Sollux and Gamzee and um...idk, I 'm not all that far I guess. It's college or something.

I think the main pairng though is KK/Sollux

oh, wait that's not what you asked.

you meant "people"

then its just

peaople in general who are annoying and stuff

oh I wasn't talking about you or anything, that senstenst is straight of out the fanfiction that the sentence with the key came from. they're like brother sentences, they spawned from the same fanfiction.

**JESSICA**

? Are they all supposed to die or something?

What sort of pairing do they have?

I just thought of something. Kar and Sollux are best buds, and Kar is concerned what Sollux thinks about him (as showcased in his conversations with him and asking him if all of the really mean things he said made Sollux hate him) maybe that's why Dave is concerned about what John thinks about him. That makes a little more sense than a homoerotic desire to impress John.

**JESSICA **

He's not so sure of himself, and John thinks he is totally sure of himself, so that confidence makes him confident? Because John doesn't understand his irony, while Rose and Jade do.

lol, i didn't honestly think you were trying to say you wanted me to die so you could go to sleep, that would be totally unnecessary, you could just say "Good night!" and I would be like "Good night sleepy head. Get your type-slurring self to sleep" and then you would leave civilly and I would continue reading Homestuck and everything would be civil and everyone would be happy without any bloodshed

**KALYN**

yeah I kinda always knew Dave wasn't a homo. Because John isn't a homo. and they both made fun of Karkat's homo adveances of ahtered...hatred. there. no they're not all supposed to die, it was a joke, the pairing so far is roomates...um, I guess I understand that confidence statement.

**KALYN**

I totally answered those out of order, ha

phail

**JESSICA **

lol, just because John isn't a homo doesn't mean Dave isn't either, it could be an unrequited...which i don't really want to think about anymore, because unrequited love is too sad

feh, answer them in whatever order you like.

**KALYN**

did you like the picture I spammed you with a long time ago with Dave/Dave because I had mentioned it before? lolol

Did you even click on all of those?

I clicked no all of yours!

on*

haha, different meaning

**JESSICA**

yes, i did, i thought the scenario with Davesprite and the egg was hilarious and sad. I really love how he adopted Casey in the end.

of course i did, i just didn't reply to them individually like you did. I had actually seen a number of them before anyway.

**KALYN**

figures

you didn't text me just now or anything did you? the phone went off and it's across the room and I don't feel like getting up to get it

but why would you when I'm right here? heh

(I get a second text message, then get up to retrieve the phone)

**JESSICA**

yeah, that definitely wasn't me.

**KALYN **

ohmygodyoufuckingwould

**JESSICA **

i think i'm going to read for bit now and then go to sleep, so i shall bid you adieu (or i won't go to sleep, we'll see) so good night

**KALYN**

how did I know that one would be you?

fine nite

**JESSICA **

lolollololollo, because you were begging me to XD good night


	9. a ChAt WiTh GaMzEe MaKaRa

So someone accidentally texted Jessica on her ipod who didn't know her, and instead of telling her "um, who is this? you have the wrong number" she was inspired by the person's signature and decided to hold an interesting conversation with this person...who wasn't entirely sure what to make of the weird things she said. DariusBishop on DeviantArt, obviously she used your picture in the text conversation so, SHOUT OUT TO YOU! :D

This is the entirety of the conversation they had. Jess hasn't gotten another text back, and she's not gonna troll her anymore, but it was fun while it lasted!

* * *

><p>Hey<br>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR

**Jessica**  
>MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClEs My MoThErFuCkIn BeSt FrIeNd. ThErE bE mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS eVeRyWhErE. I lOvE yOu MaN!<p>

Who is this.. ?  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>NaMe'S gAmZeE, oR tC (tErMiNaLlYcApRiCiOuS) nIcE tO mAkE yOuR AcQuAiNtEnCe. OnE oF lIfE's MiRaCles.

Send me a picture of you  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>(sends picture of Gamzee from HS game)

Bye  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica**  
>WaIt!<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>YoUrE lIkE mY bEsT fRiEnD MoThErFuCkEr!

What's your real name?  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>I mOtHeRfUcKiN tOlD yOu GaMzEe MaKaRa!

Uhm.. You're creepy  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>YoU jUsT dOnT uNdErStAnD MOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS

Well,  
>I'm just gonna go.<br>Bye.  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>We CaNt LeT a ChAnCe LiKe ThIs SlIp BeTwEeN OuR fInGeRs!

Bye  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>OnE dAy ThE mIrThFuL mEsSiAhS wIlL cOmE!

**Jessica  
><strong>LoWbLoOdS wOuLdNt UnDeRsTaNd

You smoked a little too much bud.  
>Bye<br>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR

**Jessica  
><strong>}:o) hOnK hOnK

Okay, who the hell is this?  
>I'm gonna leave &amp;&amp; block this number if you don't tell me<br>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR

**Jessica  
><strong>SmOkE? I dRiNk ThE mIrAcUlOuS fAyGo

**Jessica  
><strong>MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClEs

**Jessica  
><strong>My OtHeR bEsTfRiEnD sAyS I sHoUlDnT. HiS nAmEs KaRkAt

I'm blocking this number ^_^  
>Bye<br>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR

**Jessica  
><strong>WaIt!

**Jessica  
><strong>YoU dOnT wAnT tO hEaR aBoUt MiRaClEs EiThEr? I mIgHt HaVe To TaKe CaRe Of YoU LiKe ThE rEsT…

**Jessica  
><strong>I dont want to BUT YOU ARE GIVING ME NOW CHOICE HONK HONK honk honk

**Jessica  
><strong>blasphemy has only one punishmentDEATH TO THE UNBELIEVER honk honk HONK HONK

**Jessica  
><strong>here's a picture my friend Terezi drew of kk and me

(sends pcture of Gamzee and Karkat on DA)

**Jessica  
><strong>WERE SO HAPPY, I TOLD YOU HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. honk honk HONK HONK

**Jessica  
><strong>It's on this cool human website where chicks like her put pictures for others to see. ITS MOTHERFUCKIN MIRACULOUS! terezis name on there is DariusBishop. I DON'T KNOW WHY IT ISN'T GALLOWSCALIBRSTOR.

How did you get my number?  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>FuCkIn MiRaClEs! YoU tRoLlEd Me FiRsT

No I didn't :/  
>This used to by my friends number.<br>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR

**Jessica  
><strong>WeLl ThIs Is A mEsSaGe FrOm ThE cLoWn GoDs

Why are you doing this?  
>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR<p>

**Jessica  
><strong>LoOk Up HoMeStUcK. it's a mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLe By AnDrEw HuSsIe

**Jessica  
><strong>AnD I sAw We ShArE tHe MoSt NaTuRaL sTyLe

**Jessica  
><strong>AlThOuGh I sEe YoU rEsErvE iT fOr YoUr SiGnAtUrE

**Jessica  
><strong>ThAtS cOoL. We GoTtA dO wHaT cOmEs NaTuRaL

I like NeverShoutNever.. Uhm..  
>I'm sorry if I "trolled" you., I didn't mean to. This was my friends number &amp;&amp; I'm just gonna go now<br>NeVeR ShOuT NeVeR

**Jessica  
><strong>Ok, If YoU fEeL lIkE tHaT iS tHe BeSt ThInG. YoU hAvE tO gO wItH wHaTs NaTUrAl, YoU kNoW? }:o) hOnK

**Jessica  
><strong>AlThOuGh Do YoU wAnT tO dRoP sOmE sIcK bEaTs BeFoRe YoU gO?

* * *

><p>You then proceeded to have the worst rap-off in the history of paradox space.<p>

Or at least they might have, if she decided to text back... :[


	10. Jarkat Slashfiction

Special shout out to LuluKatrina (thanks for the awesome review!) who brought up a really interesting theory about Gamzee. I'm just gonna post what she said up here: "would you mind if I shared a little theory I have about why Gamzee started eating the pies in the first place? I think that deep down Gamzee didn't WANT to be a killer highblooded psychopath. The sopor slime knocked him out of it enough that he could be normal, relatively, and as long as he was doped up the :o) and Do: vioce-things in his head were quieter and not as murderous. Not sure why he stopped though. My friend spoiled me about his flipping out before I got to that part, and she said it was because he ran out, but I don't really remember reading that anywhere. Or maybe the ICP thing really did enrage him enough to be a trigger, idk." I thought it was completely fascinating. Also she helped me understand Gamzee/Tavros, at least on a level of them being good friends. Jessica says, maybe not Matesprit, but definitely best buds, which I answered with something to the effect of, "Sollux and Karkat are best buds, but I still read slash fiction about those two!"

Which brings me to my next issue: Trends in Slashfiction! Why does Karkat tend to bottom? I put my own thoughts here about which guys in Homestuck would top/bottom in slashfiction, and I'd love to hear what others think about this. I want to know where YOU would put Karkat, and why you think he belongs there! And other characters too, if you like. ;)

Also, Jessica obliterated any arguments of slash fiction with the argument that trolls' anatomy isn't actually human anatomy, which means that the sorts of things that happen in the smutty stuff that I love can't actually happen in canon! She attempted to write a small fic describing what might REALLY happen if a troll and human got together, but she failed. SO I CHALLENGE ALL OF YOU! Write a fic about that scenario! Only make it realistic - would there be confusion? Ridicule? Awkwardness? Or would it be surprisingly hot (in an alien-taboo sort of way)?

Other theories have been thrown around in this installment of the ongoing conversation, so any thoughts you have about other stuff, I'd love to hear about that too!

Random names thrown around in here (and other chapters): James is Jessica's brother, Skye is her cat, Morgan is my twin sister (who ALSO writes the Avatar and SnapCracklePop FF with us!)... Morgan had drawn a couple pictures of the trolls.

And, again, the links are broken, and, again, I don't feel like fixing them.

* * *

><p><strong>Jarkat Slashfiction<strong>

(later…days?)

**JESSICA **

You seriously need to catch up on Homestuck when you get the chance. It's kind of sad (and don't forget to watch the panels at the top)

**JESSICA **

by the way, Sollux must be psychic still:

"TA: fulfiilliing 2ome requiirement for a true prophet of doom.

TA: iin order for the vii2iion2 two be riight, that ha2 two happen, and the uniiver2e wiill make 2ure iit wiill.

TA: iit2 kiind of liike how a prophet earn2 hii2 2triipe2, by beiing bliind, liike how an angel earn2 iit2 wiing2"

so he's a true prophet of doom now?

**JESSICA **

Something has been toying at the back of my mind, and has only now shown its face. I think the kids create Alternia. It only makes sense. There are the twelve parts of the zodiac for each of the trolls, and there are the four components of romance for trolls. It has been hinted before that each kid is a certain suit (John spades, Dave heart, ok, I can't remember the girls, but I would assume Rose is diamond and Jade is club although they could easily be reversed). Just as the trolls were worked into the subconscious of humanity, the kids were worked into all of Trollian. That's been bothering me ever since they first showed John in his spade shirt and I just wanted to run it by you. Did you have that feeling too?

**KALYN**

I have caught up, it depresses me because both John and Karkat are so...idk, I don't want them to hurt the way they are! DX and I watched the panels. Jade and Dave are doing a pretty good job! And I didn't really think about that before, but it makes sense. John had a spades shirt? and what makes Dave hearts? You should probably show me where these were hinted at, cuz I totally never noticed.

**JESSICA**

He had a hearts shirt too, I'm pretty sure. People have had it on DeviantArt and I knew it wasn't baseless (them being alligned with the four suits that is) I just can't remember Jade or Rose exactly. I know the spades was at the beginning of one of the acts, the one where Karkat is watching John's life and getting super pissed. I'll find the exact page for you. Dave will take a little more tinkering.

**JESSICA**

And yeah, super sad, I haven't checked todays yet though.

It hasn't updated further than what I read. So, yeah...

**KALYN **

-sigh- Karkat's words depressed me greatly I almost don't want to go back and read them, it's a horrible note to end on. I'll probably go back and reread them once this whole story becomes happy again.

**JESSICA**

yeah, I know. It was so sad. Karkat asking if there was actually something to their relationship was what got me the most. Because Kar cares! He cares.

**KALYN **

I think what got me was him saying that his best friend was whoever he was feeling most sentimental to at the time, which was Gamzee, and we haven't seen how he took care of that yet

**JESSICA **

Yeah, we'll definitely get to that soonish

**JESSICA**

John's wearing his spades shirt in this one. And I really REALLY love the music. It's so perfect.

.?s=6&p=004526

**JESSICA **

There was in fact interaction between Tavros and Gamzee. They spat sick rhymes with each other .com/?s=6&p=004023

but nothing worthy of matesprit, that much i can tell you

**JESSICA**

You both then proceed to have one of the worst rap-offs in the history of paradox space.

So then they were pretty good friends, and if you don't want to read it, Tavros was Gamzee's server player. I just brought that up because you mentioned that we may want to think about that above. As far as I am we have Tavros=Gamzee, Terezi=Karkat and more to come. Actually, I remember there being a chart with their symbols. When I find that we can look at it in depth (if you want to).

**JESSICA **

actually, the chain should look more like this so far: Tavros=Gamzee=Terezi=Karkat

**JESSICA **

Will this cheer you up? .?s=6&p=005579

(video: All: Behold the Warhammer of Zillyhoo)

**KALYN **

fuckin-okay, did you also notice that Gamzee had that hammer before? and that Karkat was beholding it? how did I miss that completely? so somehow, THAT hammer passed through a couple of trolls' hands before it got to Jade. and, if you're "humans made the troll universe (I can't bother myself to remember the name of the world right now)" theory has merit to it, then maybe Karkat is John's supposed "grandson", just because of that whole deal? Like how Karkat insisted on calling himself John's god when he first talked to him? THIS HAMMER IS THE KEY!

**KALYN**

And the sad thing is, I think I DID notice before (not in this video, but at some other point) that Gamzee had that same hammer, and I didn't realize the implications that surrounded the fact. I just offhandedly thought that they acquired or created (can't bring myself to remember this term either! the letter A hates me today.) the same hammer somehow coincidentally. I didn't think that maybe the very same hammer would somehow get to Jade's rabbit robot gift for John for him to growify and use... O.O

**JESSICA **

Appearify? Yeah, I did notice Gamzee had it, but I didn't notice Karkat taking. I don't think Karkat is Jade's "grandson" I don't think that's the case at all. However, Jade does seem to acquire a few choice Troll artifacts. I think one of which was Eridan's gun thing. So they are obviously connected someway, and I am sure they will meet.

**JESSICA **

Ok, do you want to read something frivolous to cool off a little? Sometimesit's nice to read something a little more whimsical after something so intense. If you do I would really suggest Problem Sleuth. It's a little slow at the start, but it gets really good at the end. It's a comedy where Homestuck is a tragedy. so check it out if you want; it's a lot shorter than HS an is a little more like a game too.

**JESSICA**

Ok, this is super silly: .com/track/nic-cage-song

**KALYN**

! we actually listened to this today but I didn't know what it was...O.O

**KALYN **

I've ditched the grandson theories for now. I pretty much don't care who it is anymore, we'll find out later. Just like we'll find out why the hell Kanaya is suddenly a vampire!

**JESSICA **

Yup, did you read today's? Be warned if you haven't. You probably won't like it at first.

**KALYN **

yes I read it

won't like which part?

**JESSICA**

Oh, ok. I thought you wouldn't like Dave dying...although now that I think about that happens a little too often...

**KALYN **

Yeah I read it and was all "aww sad" but then Karkat said he was fine. "WITH JACK STANDING THERE LIKE A CREEP AND EVERYTHING" lol

**JESSICA**

yeah, that was pretty great. And I knew prototyping Jade's sprite with Bec was a good idea.

**JESSICA**

Jack could have easily killed Jade then, but he didn't!

Has Morgan read this yet?

**KALYN **

Actually I'm definitely going through the entire thing with her. Right now. She's watching me type. Just sitting there, watching like a creep.

**JESSICA **

lol who, by the way, am I texting?

**KALYN **

texting?

that would be Morgan, apparently

**JESSICA **

That's what I thought. If she asks, I'm not ignoring her for stating such an atrocious thing as drawing Gamzee. The text hasn't sent itself yet for whatever reason. Probably the weather.

Oh, and tell her she's a creep for reading over your shoulder that's just creepy.

**JESSICA**

Like I was telling Morgan, I drew Eridan and John recently-ish. Eridan when I read the whole thing with him and Sollux, and John yesterday.

**KALYN**

hahahahahahaha

**JESSICA **

haha?

Haha!

Hahahahahaha!

Why are we laughing?

**KALYN **

lol I just wanted to type a very quick response before Morgan had a chance to read your messages

I guess hahahahahahahahahahaha was the first thing that came to mind

Actually, it was more of the devious laugh that was in my head as I thought how awesome it would be to type quickly and hide the messages from Morgan

so, less to what you said and more to Morgan's inquiries "what did that say?" I thought something like "YOU'LL NEVER KNOW! hahahahahahahahahahaha"

And so that's what I typed. :P

**JESSICA**

hahaha! So you didn't tell her? Your terrible!

**KALYN **

well she must have seen it just now while I was typing all that. we're still going through all the messages up here, so we'll get to it eventually. btw, she says your ipod messages aren't making sense

This is how our thread looks on the phone:

JL: (2/2) ...

JL: WITH Sollukth?

JL: Or was he another picture?

Me: Sometimes if a message is too long it won't send at all

JL: And by mostly I mean entirely contained

Me: ?

**JESSICA **

(2/2)?

**KALYN**

JL: Me shouthing Gamzee's name indicative of

JL: A person shaking her fist at the sky on anger

JL: I don't know of that was the text you were referring to

JL: Ummmm... Right, I forget about that. Anyway, that last text mostly contained

Are these out of order?

**JESSICA**

It just said "Gaaaaammmmmmzzzzeeeeeeee" dot dot dot, it was a little shorter in text form though

**KALYN**

(2/2) means the second of two messages that were one when you typed them, so they had to be sent as two.

Often it's too long to send, so we won't get the first one

**JESSICA**

nope

**KALYN**

Seriously, those aren't out of order? Is your brain out of order?

(Morgan's words. And I believe this is verbatum!)

**JESSICA**

ahaha, sorry, or as Tholluckth would say "Thorry" (I love his lisp...maybe too much)

**KALYN**

I think so too

2orry

btw, Gamzee and Sollux are in the same picture

**JESSICA**

well, the last one should have been first (i missed that) but it was referring to the whole "too long message" thing

gah! Why?

Is Sollux hating Gamzee at least?

**KALYN **

he's annoyed by Gamzee, who is being slightly ornery in the picture

**JESSICA**

lol, ok

Do you ever listen to the soundtracks?

**KALYN **

I was just listening to them today actually, and I downloaded the "How do I live" cover onto my Sansa! :DD

**JESSICA **

lol, that's a good one too. I think it's the quality of the guy's voice. He did the Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido album too.

Wahahaaaahaaaaaahaaa Zillyhoooo...

Zilleeeeeeeeheeeeeheeehooo

**KALYN **

lolololol Our pink lemonade conversation is one of the funniest things I've read, going back on it. I'm going to save all of it!

Yes, We're back to copy/pasting!

**JESSICA **

Hahaha, ok X)

(20 minutes later)

**KALYN **

apparently I've been copy/pasting for 20 minutes!

I'm not even to the pink lemonade yet!

XD DX

don't know which one's more appropriate at the moment

**JESSICA **

aw, didn't yo all ready have the beginning done?

**KALYN **

oh, yes, but I stopped when I started doing the DA spamming, remember? I'm copy/pasting everything AFTER that, and there's a lot!

**JESSICA**

I guess there was, huh

(20 more minutes later)

**KALYN**

Yeah, I'm past the lemons now

also Morgan went to bed, long ago

lazy bum

**JESSICA **

wow, yeah! She's not much of a night owl is she?

**KALYN **

and now, another 20 minutes later, I have caught up and can now go back to copy/pasting shit RIGHT AFTER I TYPE IT!

btw, remember when I said I couldn't think of an A word and you suggested Appearify? Yeah, I definitely meant Alchemitize

So there you go

**JESSICA **

sorry, appearify was all i could think of

(after a few days of sparse, inane, inconsequential conversation)

**KALYN**

Okay, here's the conclusion I've come to in my fanfiction trends

So I've been reading lots of slashfiction (because it's apparently all I read since I'm a closet perv or voyeur or something)

and I've noticed something about Karkat when he's paired in slash

and that's that, unless he's paired with John, he's always on bottom. Not once have I seen him top with anyone other than John (who is evidently the ultimate bottom...)

I just had Morgan help me do some research on this, and we went through all of the Homestuck fanfiction we could on and found him paired with Gamzee, Sollux, and even Dave. He bottomed each time (only with Gamzee, it was more implied, with his whole rapey persona nowadays)

Basically I was wondering why people tend to put him on bottom. Is it because it seems he tries so hard as a leader and is really frustrated that maybe he should step back and let someone else take the lead for once (in sex?)?

Or is it just that everyone else is just more masculine and sure of themselves? Is there just something people like about the idea of a submissive, vulnerable Karkat?

Your thoughts?

**JESSICA**

Ok, let me say this: Karkat is in no way sure of himself, at all, around other trolls. He flexes his muscles playing at being leader. The only reason I can think of why he's the leader is because he hasn't totally botched anything and everyone else is cool with that.

I don't really think the faygo, pied-out Gamzee would be on top (he wouldn't care what karat was up to (bad word choice?) if he really wanted that relationship with Karkat. Although, I would agree that the current Gamzee would probably be on top, if only because that's the only way he's "gonna get some" from Karkat.

**JESSICA **

My first thought with the KarxDave is Kar would be on top because he wouldn't want to show that vulnerability to a human. Yet with them I really haven't a clue. While Dave has his "cool kid"-ness to outshine Karkat, he's also not that sure if himself. However, I would think Kar would prefer being on top.

**JESSICA **

Now John is never going to be the topper on a beefcake. IF he were to "swing" that way (although o suppose we are dealing with hypothetic situations here) he would be on the bottom, so yeah, I do think John is probably the "ultimate bottom." No matter what relationship he has with a guy, I don't think he would be the one asserting himself. Even with the girls he isn't assertive. So, yeah, with Karkat he would be in the bottom.

**JESSICA **

Although we both know this is totally hypothetic, because trolls have slurry filled buckets. I don't think they really "lie down" together. They just dump their genetic info into a bucket. Cuddling yes. Sex no.

**KALYN **

Yeah, I know that naturally any slash fiction with trolls will be inaccurate since, to make it erotic and not disturbing at all, they have to have human (or near-human) anatomy. Nobody knows what troll anatomy is like (apart from AH) and so people just make them very human. But that's not really the issue here. It's the concept of who's the aggressive member in a relationship and who's more submissive. And yes, I know John's "not a homosexual," but has that EVER stopped shippers? (ps. your terminology is some of the best I could have asked for in a response! XD)

**JESSICA **

Lol, I realize shippers will do what they want.

**KALYN **

Morgan and I were thinking about making a slash-tree, putting all the male characters in some sort of order regarding whether they top/bottom and to whome

whom*

John was, of course, our ultimate bottom

Tavros and Equius were mostly-bottoms too

Eridan was a both-ways guy (in my head, anyway)

Gamzee was top-psycho, either-way-sober

Karkat tops only the mostly-bottoms

Sollux and Dave are tops

agree/disagree?

btw, this is half headcanon, and half just what I've seen in fanfiction

**KALYN **

FUCKINGANSWERME

**JESSICA**

But I would think it would be kind of funny if they kept the original anatomy that we know of.

"John sat in the room he had been given after the humans arrived on the trolls' meteor in the outer reaches of the Medium. He had been surprised to see how different the trolls really were from them.

"Karkat had looked at him strangely after everyone was introduced to the other. John hadn't really thought of it, but there were a lot fewer trolls than he originally remembered.

"'Twelve. There were twelve of them when they entered the Medium originally.' he had hoped to finally meet Vriska face to face, and maybe go on that date. But that wasn't going to happen. She was dead. He knew it was part of the trolls' nature to kill each other, but it was still hard to believe.

"Suddenly there was a knock on the door (which doesn't actually exist, since the troll rooms are only entered via a transporter). Either way, Karkat stood at the entrance of the room; his cheeks blushing a bright red under the grey skin.

"'Hey Karkat, what's up?'

"'Nothing.' Karkat answered angrily. He looked around the bare room. He just stood there looking around everywhere except where John stood.

"'Karkat? What are you doing? Not that I mind you coming into my room,' He laughed happily. 'You know, since Rose, Jade and Dave all had to go through my house, and of course Dave and Rose went through all icky things.'

"'God, you do talk too much, don't you?' Karkat growled at John, and John smiled back. 'I just want to tell you something I guess.' He looked aside awkwardly. 'When I watched you grow up, I hated you so much, I wanted to make your life miserable, but I had to tell the others to troll jade, Dave and Rose too towns sure they didn't think I waxed into the black for you. But I had, I never hated anyone else so vehemently. Then I continued trolling you, and your confidence made me angrier at first, but we continued to work together. Against my better judgement, my feelings went from the black to red. I tried to distract myself by having a romantic relationship with Terezi, but she had fallen hard in the red for Dave, and I knew that we couldn't really have a relationship then.'

"'Jarkat, what are you going on about?' A smile cracked on his face, but he looked at Karkat a little wearily. He knew the troll could be rash, and he didn't want to be caught off guard.

"'You're so STUPID! I'm confessing to you that's what I'm doing!' As Karkat said that, he also lunged forward, and kissed John on the lips. It was harsh at first, but John was surprised he enjoyed it so much. 'I want you, John Egbert to be my Matesprit.'

"'But, but I'm not gay,' John grasped desperately for an excuse he knew was false. 'Karkat...' He couldn't help the feelings he felt , he was attracted to this troll like he had never been attracted to anyone else.

**JESSICA**

So, that was supposed to end with John having normal 13 year old reaction to a similar situation, and Karkat being extremely confused and disgusted (it wasn't even supposed to be Karkat originally, but Vriska, but Karkat and John would have to be

my OTP.

**KALYN**

haha, okay, so you wrote that? I think I need some explanations. was that supposed to go with the anatomy statement (which I also didn't quite understand)? "Jarkat" lol... I got the premise for the most part, I quite loved it...Karkat being extremely confused and disgusted? with his own feelings, or...? anyway, yeah, that was amazing

What did you think of our tree?

**JESSICA**

No, the anatomy, it was originally intended to be a reaction to the differing anatomies, but instead it turned into just a normal Jarkat story. I couldn't stand doing that to them

I liked the tree though

Made sense to me, and before I left I was typing this: "I would agree, especially Eridan, since he would do anything he could to have a relationship, although I think he would prefer being on top."

**JESSICA **

did that suffice?

**KALYN **

yes, for the most part... I think I especially like the idea of Equius bottoming to everyone (with the possible exception of the humans, but who knows?)

and now, since you failed your mission, we should challenge anyone who sees this to write a troll/human fic about differing anatomies

and the reactions and hijinks that ensue!

**JESSICA **

Naw, he would act all tough, but then he would tell them to tell him what to do. So if he is on top it's because whoever he is with told him to.

**KALYN **

hah "Be the master"

**JESSICA**

Yup


	11. Stupidity

**I am disappointed by the lack of alien-taboo fics for this fandom. XD**

**Alright, I'm just gonna be honest here and apologize for the fact that there's probably more inane ramblings here than actual semi-intelligent discussions. Feel free to skim. Also, I'm really bad at memory and too lazy to fix it, and I also get a lot of things wrong. Because I'm a dumbass with a horrible memory. That said, there are a few somewhat interesting ideas here, along with a lesson on basic Freudian psychological concepts. The next chapter will be rather more informative, and it might bring another dimension to Homestuck even.**

**Anyway, thanks for being interested in this (or maybe you're just bored). Enjoy the randomness.**

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

YO! HOMESTUCK UPDATED! I particularly loved the bit about Dave's dream! :DDD

We should talk about it and stuuuufff... O_O

There was the conversation between Nepeta and Jasper when they talked about their feelings and the timeline ending; the "Dave?" "Hey" exchange between Davesprite and Jadesprite (which I found to be more amusing than makes sense); Rose's dream-analysis of Dave's dreams (also loved the homoerotic jabs...Do you think they're both dead or asleep or maybe it's a dead Dave and a sleeping Rose...?); Dead Vriska trolling Dream John (I have no idea what might happen when he sees her. it's kinda weird, actually...); and that completely random bit with WV and CD and the bunny when CD steals WV's wallet and the bunny chases CD to get it back...so many questions...

**KALYN**

namely, why are they all together, how did the bunny come to be at that point in time, where are they going, what did CD want with WV's wallet at such an apocalyptic time like this?

Do you think WV might have helped to make the bunny or something? I have no idea...

**JESSICA**

"grotesquely pregnant with meaning" lol, that's great, sound familiar? anyway, i have yet to finish it, so i will get back to you on that one.

**JESSICA**

"TT: Listening to you conjure imagery of my mother in her underpants is definitely keeping us buoyed high above this swirling Freudian hellhole.

TT: Well done.

TG: please its not like shes my mom i can visualize her choice ass all i want without it gettin much more than moderately uncomfortable for everyone involved "

Well, that's debatable.

**JESSICA**

Aw, man, I just read Dave's dream, looks like he might be the one to blow up the Green Sun *add in flashing green text, WOOoooOOOooo*

**JESSICA**

Ok, if it was any of the exiles, I wouldn't think it would have been WV who helped with making Liv Tyler. If it was any of them, it would have been AR, and I still doubt that. Unless it was the White Queen (but the helper claimed to be male). John sent the three off together to do whatever it is...they're doing...

I think Rose is supposed to be dead too.

The problem I have is John's dream self. That isn't him, because he's busy kissing Rose. So maybe that was just a memory John? I don't know.

Yeah the Jadesprite and Davesprite was awefully funny, I thought it was really sweet too. I wonder if it was a hint that there will be some sort of romantic thing between the two of them. Since, you know, they are still Dave and Jade, just not the original/alpha ones.

**KALYN**

h'okay, Facebook was doing something with the message system so I couldn't get to these for a while, but now I'm here. Here we go!

**KALYN**

I loved the silly dramatic irony with Rose's mom not being Dave's, it was wonderful and strangely implicative of incest in the weirdest way... How does AH come up with this stuff? lol Annnd...I think Dave's the one to do the Green Sun mission too, which kind of depresses me, since he dies so freaking much...hope he doesn't stay dead... IDK what will happen after the scratch (apart from the remaining trolls and humans meeting)..like, where will they go from there?

**KALYN**

As for the making of Liv Tyler... Jade's pen pal still remains much of a mystery, but yeah now I totally get what the heck is going on, I forgot that John sent them off together. And as for John's dream self and Rose being dead...those two clippings weren't necessarily taking place at the same time...were they? Vriska died just before John had to kiss Rose, but that doesn't mean she relived that memory immediately afterward. Like...this could be a while later, or even earlier in fact...you know how those stupid bubbles like to overlap and end up in different times and stuff. I mean, it's more likely after Prospit got destroyed, obviously, but any time John fell asleep after that could be when Vriska's dream/dead self decided to chat with him. It's hard to explain, but... yeah.

What was in WV's wallet again? Wasn't it the ring or something? Yeah, it was probably the ring. I'm just too lazy to go back and figure this out myself. I probably will later if I have to though.

And yes, when I read that "pregnant with meaning" phrase I was like "ggguuuuuhhhhh!"

That just haunts me

Things I hate in the way people use language

It's funny though because it was probably used ironically, given who said it, haha

**JESSICA**

Ooooookkkkk, let me take this one at a time sunce I'm outside surrounded by mortar fire. WV's wallet is John's fas's wallet and has his stuff in it. (GAH! BLOODYISQUITIES!) anywho, (SMOKE EVERYWHERE!) I gave to read what you said again =_=

**JESSICA**

hopy jegus, that was sent a lot

i apologize for that

my iPod would not send it at one point so I just kept hitting send and it kept saying it couldn't be sent...so you just got bombarded by a bunch of the same thing over and over again unintentionally

a thousand apologies

and gog! accept me on Skype all ready

**JESSICA**

And I wonder if the Dave that will take the Tumor will be Alpha Dave or not, or, if it's dream Dave. If it's dream Dave it shouldn't matter too much as long as live Dave stays alive ... long enough to...hmmmm...I don't know what's going to happen. We shall just have to wait and see.

**JESSICA**

waaaaaaiiiittt...

it's not showing up on the computer...so i wonder if it never left my computer?

hmmmm

and of course it is now gone...great

i'll just retype it without the round about speaking of me putting everything together as i read =_=

**JESSICA**

Ok, and I sent a message via iPod, but it's not showing up, so basically, I was referring to the Vriska thing, and who she could be talking to. and i said something that was totally irrelevant (and that is that everything that is happening now in the story is also GOING to happen because they are stuck in a circular timeloop. They can never escape! That's my theory anyway). The John Vriska conversing with I thought was only a memory John and was not actually a dead one, when I remembered that the normal flesh non-Prospit John is actually dead, so that is probably the John Vriska is speaking to, if it is any of them. The John we are watching is the sleeping John, and even though Prospit is gone, the sleeping John woke up ON Skaia, so there's that.

**KALYN**

oh HEY you're on! I'm gonna go read those now

Alright well I didn't get any duplicates there, and I think I may have successfully translated your gibberish-like typos into actual words, and no that original Vriska message did not send...

**KALYN**

Don't the dream-selves replace them after they die? And thus become the primary...them? I don't know if their original selves count as dead there, since they were kind of sharing a conscience (or...no, wait...yeah...) with their dream selves, like two bodies to one mind, but one body dies so that one body just takes over the mind, not like all the consciences that result when Dave starts splitting timelines and causing deaths of many Daves who DO end up in the dream bubbles...

**KALYN**

Unless what you're saying is that, once they've died first and after Prospit is destroyed and those dream bubbles are created, the roles of Dream John and Primary John are switched so that Dream John becomes Primary John and Dead-Primary John becomes Dream-Bubble John... Which... no, it doesn't make THAT much sense, since bodies tend to be destroyed during these deaths rather than transported to the outskirts of the universe...

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I don't know. I'm under the impression that they are separate yet the same. Dream-Jade was used to prototype don't forget. So they are different yet the same; they have their own consciousness.

**KALYN**

Oh yeah, that's true, because after she died she had different memories...

Well THAT'S annoyingly complicated

Let's see if we can piece some logic together on this

When real-world characters went to sleep, their consciousness was transported (need a better word for this) over to dream-selves

And when real-world characters die, they can be revived with a kiss and their dream-selves will take over

They share memories up to this point

And then I guess they split? So it IS sort of like Dave splitting timelines and creating little separate-consciousness offshoot Daves that all end up dead?

Because Jade's dream-self died and had separate memories...

I guess it makes some sense that once John's real-world-self dies, he becomes part of that universe as well (the "being dead" universe)...and starts haunting dream bubbles

**JESSICA**

Yesss? I think so? Maybe?

**KALYN**

It's just whichever one is alive that takes over the timeline because for them it's actually relevant and important, unlike for any dead selves (because obviously for Dead-Dream-Jade, it didn't matter anymore and she was upset and Davesprite even bailed on the whole Alpha Timeline thing after a while)

**JESSICA**

Yeah, the John part is a definite yes, the confused part was for your Dave analogy.

**KALYN**

I was mostly just talking about creating separate consciousness...es? consciences? one of those. They become separate minds when he creates timeline offshoots.

Comparing this to when one of a character's "selves" dies

**JESSICA**

A conscience is a moral guide, consciousness is physical awareness.

**KALYN**

sure

just trying to remember which term Freud always used

I think it was conscious

and unconscious

and...subconscious?

or something

you know, id, ego, superego and all that fun stuff

(Gawd, I love Freudian psychology)

**JESSICA**

yes

lol, anyway, if you would kindly desist the one sentence responses? they are a pain in the ass.

**KALYN**

hahahaha sorrrrrryyyyyy

**JESSICA**

subconscious=id, ego and superego, or just the id and superego?

**KALYN**

I don't even know if subconscious was an actual thing in Freudian psychology, I'll have to look it up

hang on, I'll go do that

on, lol, there's no unconscious. here I'll just put up what's written here:

oh*

**KALYN**

Three levels of awareness

Freud identified three different parts of the mind, based on our level of awareness.

Conscious mind

The conscious mind is where we are paying attention at the moment. It includes only our current thinking processes and objects of attention, and hence constitutes a very large part of our current awareness.

Preconscious mind

The preconscious includes those things of which we are aware, but where we are not paying attention. We can choose to pay attention to these and deliberately bring them into the conscious mind.

We can control our awareness to a certain extent, from focusing in very closely on one conscious act to a wider awareness that seeks to expand consciousness to include as much of preconscious information as possible.

Subconscious mind

At the subconscious level, the process and content are out of direct reach of the conscious mind. The subconscious thus thinks and acts independently.

One of Freud's key findings was that much behavior is driven directly from the subconscious mind. This has the alarming consequence that we are largely unable to control our behavior, and in particular that which we would sometimes prefer to avoid.

More recent research has shown that the subconscious mind is probably even more in charge of our actions than even Freud had realized.

**KALYN**

subconscious would definitely have id, and probably superego (which may go more in preconscious, since it's more something we've created for ourselves) and the ego would likely occupy all three to an extent

wouldn't it be totally great to examine Homestuck through a lens of Freudian psychology? I did that with Scarlet Letter, it turned out pretty well. I got the only A in the grade! :DD

these kids (namely the trolls) definitely operate primarily on id...unfortunately

and I'm pretty sure there isn't much superego taking any sort of control here

**JESSICA**

Not with the trolls, although that was how they were raised, so their morals are based around how their Lusi raised them. They are a cut throat society that favors strenght above all else. They are a Spartan society that was allowed to prosper into modern day. Although, honestly, would Sparta have been able to do that? The way they lived didn't really foster advances, the only type of advancement would be in warfare technologies, although I guess once they conquered the other civilizations they would have foreign turned local scientists and intellectuals to do stuff like that.

**KALYN**

Half that paragraph was Sparta, but okay... Sorry 'bout that shameless bragging earlier, I'm a dick. I know. And I wish I had more to say, this is so inane...Tell you what, I will get back on at midnight when I will inevitably have more interesting things to say.

(a few messages pertaining to other things in life later)

**KALYN**

please be on Facebook. My phone won't send my messages, and nothing you just sent me made any sense at all.

This is what my phone says (all of mine are currently still "sending...")

You: What was it they were saying? Jeez, so whiny!

Me: She like...yelled at me in a review. She wasn't even nice about it. Completely disrespectful.

**JESSICA**

I'm going to sleep. That's probably the safest course of action x.x

**KALYN**

You: Where'd you move them to? Oh, wait! It'll probably be the first on the list *Smacks forehead in a comical and ironic show of idiocy*

Me: They're just on my profile ha. Tell me what you think of the title.

**JESSICA**

The SCP story

**KALYN**

You: Because I coulda sworn I've heard it before, but this days it's not real! So now I don't know!

Me: What?

You: And even though I'm tired and have a headache, I don't want to sound stupid!

Me: What the fuck are you on about?

You: I didn't know a better way of putting that other than... Is self-depricating a word?

You: Enjoy (you need to hear how that sounds in my head, yet I know it will sound stupid, so never mind)

Me: NONE OF THAT MADE ANY SENSE TO ME AND NOW MY MESSAGES WON'T SEND

There.

I understood pretty much everything before your little interruption, but after that I'm lost, obviously

DON'T GO TO SLEEP I NEED YOU

**JESSICA**

Yeah, didn't get any of yours, and it was supposed to be "says" instead of "days" and I'm rambling. That's all you need to know. Good night.

**KALYN**

D':

Oh I know it's supposed to be "says" I got that much

I still don't get it

And I know you didn't get mine, they're STILL "sending..."

T^T

And you've abandoned me. *sniffles*

**JESSICA**

Are you crying? I don't know what that face is!

**KALYN**

Yes.

T^T

tears and a frown

I hope you're just a slow typer

Otherwise I would feel very alone right now.

I hope you're having fun...at...Worlds of Fu-fu-f-...*gulp* Fun. )':

**JESSICA**

O just had a really long ride home with Lizzy, Emily, Erin, and Jen. We scared ourselves silly, got lost a couple times and before all that were sore from riding rollercoasters and walling around all day. I'm tire and am not going to make sense. Lime right now autocorrect is fixing all my words not me, so sorry for anything really weird I say. I love you, and therefore I must remove myself for the night to protect your sanity... Which I realize I'm doing a terrible job.

**KALYN**

ROFL "Lime right now"

I need you for my sanity! DX

**JESSICA**

Oh, and don't forget this Friday you guys said you would watch the house and pets. Sleep well.

**KALYN**

I know.

Backatcha I guess. ._.

}:

:{

**JESSICA**

Lol, well, I'm home, but like I said I have a headache, but I'm glad to hear I am such a pivotal elect for your sanity... Or worried, I'm bot sure which is the proper emotion right now.

**KALYN**

Yeah, I'm bot sure too. heh...

**JESSICA**

This guckin phone is 2 hours fast. Fu kin thinks I'm on PA x.x

**KALYN**

2 hours...fast? PA? I'll admit, this is far better for my sanity than silence.

**JESSICA**

Pennsylvania, that's where my area code puts me, and normally I'm not a slowtyper, but I'm on my iPod, so there you go. Although that doesn't make sense either... I don't know... What are you doing other than reading my drivel?

I mean the 2 hour part, not the slow rupee part.

Typer D:

**KALYN**

Other than reading your drivel...I am rupee responses to it and reading everything aloud to Morgan as it occurs.

(Luckily, I knew what you meant by "rupee." We could totally create our own sort of slang with this, like Cockney rhyme slang!)

(Autocorrect slang!)

(XD)

**JESSICA**

Lol, now ;)

**KALYN**

now what?

or did you mean "no"?

**JESSICA**

NO! Meant no!

**KALYN**

okay then.

No.

No autocorrect slang.

Fine.

You know, I at least humored you with making the tea and lemonade, you can't do the same for me with the slang?

**JESSICA**

Sorry, I'm offscreen when I type, so everything I say is basically disregarding what is directly before.

Soooo, what are you doing?

**KALYN**

That doesn't change the fact that you just shot me down.

I've already told you what I'm doing.

It hasn't changed.

I'm reading your drivel and typing responses and reading aloud stuff to Morgan.

Although I'll admit I've stopped reading things aloud.

**JESSICA**

Hey! I didn't Mean to shoot you down! It just looks like it! I was shooting myself down, band you just happened to fall into the crosshairs!

**KALYN**

I wonder how you get crosshairs when shooting yourself?

What were you shooting down?

**JESSICA**

Oh, ok, I missed that and it won't let me go back and read what it says for whatever reason

**KALYN**

which part?

Are you by a computer?

You do have a laptop you know...

**JESSICA**

You're writing this down? =_= Why am I nor surprised?

**KALYN**

Um...what? I'm not writing any of this down...

**JESSICA**

I'm too laaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzyyyyyyyy

**KALYN**

I meant typing responses to your messages... ._.

I wasn't typing them all up somewhere else...

**JESSICA**

Fuuuuuuuuck,

Ow I'm reading/comprehending things that aren't there

**KALYN**

Ow indeed…

**JESSICA**

I got up at 8 this morning and have been going about all day, I am not fit for proper conversation x.x

**KALYN**

Yeah well... I find I am a better conversationalist when I'm very tired, because then my mind is on autopilot, and the pilot who autos my mind is very funny

**JESSICA**

Mine's fucked up and doesn't know when to shut up like, I have this strong desire to explain everything I say instead of letting it go and trusting you will understand at least half of it

**KALYN**

Well I certainly didn't understand what you texted me before, and I still don't understand. You have done nothing to explain those texts to me.

**JESSICA**

There is this strange glare that only appears on this page. Everywhere else is fine, but there is this ...orb? That fades in and is in the same ace nomatterhow I scroll it.

It concerns me...

**KALYN**

That's...weird...

Is it your screen?

**JESSICA**

No, because it's nowhere else...

Or at least, I hope not

**KALYN**

It's just on this page?

**JESSICA**

It's just Facebook, nothing else, I checked literally everthimg on my iPod...except tecting

**KALYN**

Well that's just...odd...

I wonder if there's some random spirit haunting the internet...heh

**JESSICA**

It's gone! That was really worrying me, because I left it in the hot car all day without thinking, so I'm being really cautious, making sure it's not dead or dying

**KALYN**

Well, good that it's gone, um... glad it didn't melt?

**JESSICA**

Maybe...Not! You dilly person you!

Yes, you are like the herb, dill... That is what I meant exactly...

Yeah... And that plant based comment was about the Internet ghost...you know, I think my language gets ... More...educated? The more tired I am, which makes no sense

**KALYN**

Well, I HAVE always said I belong with..uh... yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this

something to do with...dill...

I think you just can't remember lingual shortcuts when you're tired, so you start sounding all pretentious and shit.

**JESSICA**

Bleh, computer here I come, where you will receive stranger replies do to the lack of autocorrect and my inattention

**KALYN**

awesome, but...

how will they be stranger without the autocorrect?

**JESSICA**

because i will be masihing random buttons together, and i won't care to correct them

**KALYN**

Yes, well, that is clearly what you are doing now.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, whatever, have you ever felt like when you type in password and what not that you are just randomly pressing buttons because your body goes into overdirve and has it memorised so well that what you think doesn't really matter anymor? That's kind of what i feel like own

now

**KALYN**

Not "overdrive," "autopilot."

How does typing passwords and muscle-memorized things throw your body into overdrive?

I'll tell you you:

Wow, fail.

Retry.

**JESSICA**

whatever, you got it, i meant autopilor

**KALYN**

ahem…

**JESSICA**

t, whatever x.x

**KALYN**

I'll tell you how:

It doesn't.

There!

Wow I realize now I kind of built that up to nothing.

**JESSICA**

I missed literally half of those comments up above. But i reread them so it doesn't matter aymore

yup, tahnks, that vlimax was pointlss

**KALYN**

Cool story bro

vlimax

lol

literally half? like…did you count them?

**JESSICA**

whatever you know this is comedy cgold...or silver...or even bronse...who an i kidding, this is comedy rocks to pelt the non-believing villagers with.

**KALYN**

Did you miss five?

hahaha, well that was pretty good actually

**JESSICA**

not the immediately preceding, but before i got on my computer

so, literally was probably a foolish hyperbole

**KALYN**

Regardless, I am copy/pasting it...for whatever convoluted reason I have invented in my preconscious...

**JESSICA**

...…

**KALYN**

hahahahahahaha

woops, one ha too many

hahahahahaha

**JESSICA**

how dare you!

**KALYN**

You're right.

I should've asked.

**JESSICA**

Yes, you should have asked such a trivial thing as to how many "ha"s (how the hell do you make that plural?) is acceptable or not.

**KALYN**

I should've asked before I turned all of your "."s (I think this one's a bit tougher to pluralize) into "ha"s

**JESSICA**

oh...that's just silly...why would you do that? makes little sense, probably about as much as i'm making...

i have earplugs in but i'm not listening to aything...

**KALYN**

That's wonderful.

I just told my brother to put on headphones.

He IS listening to something.

The sense it makes is me turning your judging silence into a nonjudging bout of laughter

**JESSICA**

how fortuitous

no, that nonjudging silence was actually putting on music to put these freeloadiing earplugs to use instead of just lasing around my ear and raiding the fridge...in my ear...

I guess this would be funnier if I didn't judge myself halfway through and realize how stupid i sound

**KALYN**

yeah...so you typing "..." was you putting on music? okay. yep. *totally buying it* ._.

Why does your ear have a fridge?

I mean I sort of get the metaphor you were going for, but you really need to learn follow through.

**JESSICA**

no, that silence you felt was judging was me leaving and putting music on...No! No, i won't judge what i said halfway through again!

**KALYN**

You can't just give up on a half-baked metaphor partway through it, you gotta see it to the end!

That silence I felt was judging was you typing "...", which I then transformed into "hahahahahaha" to make it less so

**JESSICA**

i know! but then i realize how stupid it is, and it falls flat when i go, "well, fuck, that makes no sense, you sound stupid, you silly sleep deprived creep" because I'm a creep this time of night. I creep on people. Look at Emily's page. I creep.

**KALYN**

I'm a creep at all times, but not in the same sense.

I'm just creepy.

Never attempt to invade my mind.

But seriously, as a self-proclaimed metaphor master... yeah, I have nothing else to say. Just wanted to get that out there, that I'm awesome at metaphors.

**JESSICA**

Lol, that's ok. I know better than to do that with anyone, particularly my friends. There has to be a reason you guys are friends with me other than my devilish good looks.

**KALYN**

...Are you implying that I creep on YOU?

**JESSICA**

that was intended for the entering the people's mind, btb, not the whole metaphor master, although that is the basis of our relationship, as far as i'm concerned.

no

creep

god! i'm bitchy!

**KALYN**

Oh, so that was an accusation?

Totally missed that! lol!

**JESSICA**

which?

**KALYN**

creep

**JESSICA**

yeah

but, you know, in a friendly joking manner

**KALYN**

Lol

Duh

I probably wouldn't be friends with you if it wasn't.

**JESSICA**

:O

**KALYN**

You know, to speak to your character.

If you were like that, I wouldn't have bothered keeping in touch.

Anyway...

I think I AM going to go to bed.

I have something I gotta do at noon

and it's already almost 2:30

**JESSICA**

wait, what character?

**KALYN**

I won't be able to get up in the afternoon tomorrow!

Character? Like...personality?

Yours.

**JESSICA**

i need to pack tomorrow

**KALYN**

Way to be unrelated.

**JESSICA**

how do you see me, i guess?

**KALYN**

How do I see you?

Wow it finally sent. Stupid Facebook.

**JESSICA**

yeah, that was a while

**KALYN**

Fuck it. I'm going to bed.

I love you!

**JESSICA**

lol, whatever, good night, and i love you too

(lots of unrelated messages later)

**KALYN**

HO GAWD Homestuck updated! It's another picture-clicker one. I have so many questions I almost just wanna wait and see what happens. But we can address those here:

I think Dad's alive, at least in the picture with Nanasprite catching his hat and someone with a hat-symbol is pestering her.

Unless someone else has that symbol, which is possible. Who else would it be in that case?

Vriska is traveling through memory lane with John and they go through some fun memories of both of them merged together. Still can't really tell if John is dead or sleeping. If he remembers dying though...Did he reach God Tier before or after Prospit was destroyed? Or does that matter? Does he still have two selves? I think he does, doesn't he? So he's most likely sleeping if that's the case (God, I really need to reread some things if I'm asking shit like this...)

**KALYN**

Jadesprite and Davesprite...Davesprite left us with a cliff-hanging mystery regarding the denizens (which I completely forgot, since we haven't really seen any...or have we...? mysteries...)

Liv Tyler successfully got the special card from CD before he could escape with it. And it's like...this yin-yangy saw-blade looking thing. I feel dumb, like I should remember what this is, but I'm too lazy to go back and reread stuff and jog my memory.

And finally we see that Dave did not in fact go on the suicide mission because Rose stopped him from doing so. And she's awake while she's talking to his dream self. Which is kinda weird, considering it's Dave's dream-self that fell asleep and is now dreaming and conversing with Rose's dream-self who is going on the super fun suicide mission. So...odd... I'm not even going to try to wrap my mind around it, I feel like I've been completely desensitized to paradoxes because of the nature of this webcomic.

**KALYN**

I think I'm just gonna...wait and see. We're obviously approaching the climax of the whole thing, and I'm really curious to see what's gonna happen with all of them. Where has Jade been this whole time? Man... I mean, planning, obviously. Just wondering where. Physically. Anyway...

**KALYN**

I kind of wish John was going on the mission. Since he's the only one left with two selves. If I remember correctly. Jade's has been dead for a while now, and Dave and Rose have both been revived. John hasn't died yet, has he? (God Tier doesn't count, I don't think, since he kind of got a new body there. Right? I know you will jog my memory with important facts somehow...)

**JESSICA**

Ok, the yin-yangy saw blade thing was in fact the h T m r (colored black and white for added effect), or, for normal people, The Tumor. I think that was probably Dad on the cell/PDA (whatever it was). If it wasn't it would have to be one of the agents, but I can't remember if one has a hat like Dad does-I don't think so though. John doesn't have two bodies (I don't think). His real body died, which I think is the John in the dreambubble, because he remembered dying and lost his eyes like all of the dead trolls do. He reached Godtier after Prospit was destroyed. He was only ever awake on Skaia, because if you remember he first woke up as soon as Jade pushed him out of the way of the falling Prospit.

The thing that kind of annoys me, is it feels like we skipped a whole lot of the story here. Obviously we don't know what Jade was up to. We never see what Davesprite is up to other than when he fought Jack (although that makes a little more sense). The scratch on the CD really messed things up! I hope we get back to things, but I don't know if he will completely, and if he does, than we may be close to the "climax" (the Event they are all freaking out about) as far as the chronology is concerned, but I think the comic may go back and forth covering missing times. Basically when Doc Scratch...fixes...the scratch .

**JESSICA**

Because the whole reason we went to Doc Scratch's and witnessed that entire monstrous affair with SS and Snowball was because of the scratch on the CD. Didn't Terezi cause that one?

**JESSICA**

The Rose's and Dave's conversation is a little confusing too. We will just have to wait and see about that one. What confuses me is she's talking to Dave while wide awake in a dreambubble. Could it be that she's in there because of the Eldritch obominations (or whatever they're called in this)? Since, you know, they created the bubbles, and Rose is basically their hand in the physical realm. Kind of like their Joan of Arc. So that is my theory: Rose can converse with Dave while still awake because of the Elder Gods in the Outer Ring (or whatever...).

The Denizens were only really mentioned once when John died for the first time (which, i'm thinking AH could totally and feasibly bring him into things, unless it was the dead after a certain point that could enter the bubbles. But all we know about the denizens (far as i know) is that they are the big bads, akin to Ganand(dorf) in the Legend of Zelda games (since you have to complete puzzles and collect items before you can even think of facing him).

That's all I have for tonight. Hopefully Andrew Hussie will answer some of the questions he created in the next installment.

**JESSICA**

I just remembered that book at the top of the page that Doc Scratch fixes. Do you remember who's book that was?

**KALYN**

I...no. Do you?

**JESSICA**

I have a feeling it was Vriska's, but i'm not sure.

**KALYN**

Oh...I don't remember that. I'm too, like...I have the memory of a stoner right now, and with all the pictures giving us like 5 or 6 scenes at once with random clues and cliff hangers, I think I'm just gonna wait and see what happens next. When the timeline is more...linear. If that ever happens.

**JESSICA**

Lol, not very likely XD although, there really isn't much for us to go off of currently.

(and then Jessica went on a family trip and we stayed at her house, housesitting and throwing crazy three-person parties)

**KALYN**

"Komm mit mir." "NO NEED! I ALREADY DID!"

We're having a wondrous time here...

stuffing socks in our bras.

your socks.

socks we found lying around the living room.

muahahahahahahahahaha.

not me, but morgan and emily are anyway.

**KALYN**

hehehehehehe

just kidding I only said that because we found socks

and I wanted to make you feel uncomfortable

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**JESSICA**

Hahaha, I really don't care XD I probably shouldn't tell the others though.

**KALYN**

hehehe yeah...

**JESSICA**

... . are you TRYING to creep me out or something? With the laughter and everything? Cuz it's not working. It just makes me think you're weird...

**KALYN**

um, no. I wasn't trying to creep you out. o_o

I was agreeing with what you said.

**JESSICA**

Oh, ok. Heheheheheh

(many boring interstate messages and a long rant about Criminal Minds fanfiction later)

**KALYN**

So it turns out that the John talking to Vriska is dead John from the jacked up timeline. Makes sense. Can't believe I totally forgot about him though. I guess we never actually saw him in that timeline, we just saw AlphaJohn being talked out of it. Which is why I didn't even consider AlternateJohn a character. Feh!

**JESSICA**

Yeah,I figured it was a dead John. But I haven't read up to date yet, so we may have to wait until I get home to update it all.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about all the stupidity that snuck its way in there (read: loudly barreled through calling attention to itself). I promise to try to be less stupid next time. :D<strong>


	12. Information Overload

So Jess went on vacation for a while, and I just got excited while she was gone and started doing research and putting together a fucking novella of Google searches and wikipedia for her to sift through when she got back. She's back now, and she still hasn't gotten back to me because it's just too darn much and she hasn't been able to sit down and tackle it all at once. So she'll get back to me with her own opinions...eventually. Special thanks goes to JExy-tan for a great review and for pointing out Vriska's jacket in one of the recent updates-hadn't noticed that before! And the links...I fixed them this time. Because I actually think they're a valuable source of information. Clearly, I spent a lot of time on the Homestuck wikia pages, just reading and absorbing. It really helps to organize the universe in my head, so if you haven't checked those out yet, I recommend doing so. Lots of other things, like horoscopes and Greek mythology and...the makeup of DNA genomes, which I would like to learn more about... I may have overdone it a little bit. -sigh- I feel bad for Jess.

All the Greek mythology was mostly to know what I could about the Denizens to give me a little insight on what AH may have made those characters out to be. It'll be interesting to see what of their mythological counterparts he decides to incorporate into his own interpretations of them.

* * *

><p><strong>Information Overload<strong>

**KALYN**

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT GAMZ/TAV IS CANNON!

CANON*!

Homestuck updated and we get to see that rap-off they had before I think and holy crap it has so much innuendo and then it's not even trying to hide it anymore.

READ IT!

If I didn't see that pairing before, I definitely see it now! XD

Hoh gawd I love Gamzee now more than ever. EVER!

It's a bit onesided, but just the fact that it was blatantly suggested blows my mind. I almost think it might have been prompted by the fanbase for Gamz/Tav shippers...like AH was like, "Well if that pairing was to be considered, THIS is probably how it would play out..."

**JESSICA**

I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.

**JESSICA**

That is Karkat's self image in a nutshell! Now i'm reading, leave me be

So, Jade's denizen is Echidna, who I believe is the mother of demons is Greek/Roman mythology (one of those). I wonder if that has anything to do with anything other than Jade breeds the frogs. Dave's was Hephaestus, right? I really want to know more about the denizens soon!

**JESSICA**

I don't understand the point of the Nanasprite story. Other than that she and Jade's "grandpa" were supposed to have kids. But they did via John. So whatever they did was all right. John's Dad never had kids of his own, and John was blasted in on a Meteor. The only interesting part of that was the Baroness wasn't human. If she wasn't human, what was she? She was obviously connected to the "game." Someone is also probably going to find Fedorafreak. But I don't know.

**JESSICA**

I love Jack's vision of Jade

**KALYN**

In Greek mythology, Echidna (Greek: Ἔχιδνα, ekhis, ἔχις, meaning "she viper") was half woman half snake, known as the "Mother of All Monsters" because most of the monsters in Greek myth were mothered by her.

I bet she looks just like that!

**KALYN**

either that or this: .com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%.%2FIMAGES%&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%.%2Ftopics%&h=566&w=849&sz=393&tbnid=GODNNBRbFWPV7M%3A&tbnh=105&tbnw=158&prev=%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Dechidna%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=echidna&docid=a5W3nYPDMFdunM&sa=X&ei=m5ktTuvvIoGRgQf_q4T7Cg&ved=0CEsQ9QEwBA&dur=2404

(just do a Google images search for "echidna" for this one)

**KALYN**

Apparently she's rumored to have three separate sets of parents, because no one could agree on who they were...

**JESSICA**

See, mother of monsters. I was right. Demon. Monsters. What's the difference (according to the Greeks that is)

**KALYN**

she was something called a drakaina, which just means she's half woman half snake

sometimes she has wings, sometimes two tails

**KALYN**

Echidna was the mother by Typhon of many monstrous offspring, including:

Orthrus, the two-headed dog which guarded the Cattle of Geryon[9][10]

Cerberus, the many-headed dog which guarded the gates of Hades[9][11]

the Lernaean Hydra, the many-headed sea monster which when one of its heads was cut off grew two more[9][11]

the Chimera, a fire breathing beast, part goat, part snake, and part lion[9][12][11]

the Caucasian eagle, that every day ate the liver of Prometheus[13]

the Crommyonian sow, killed by Theseus[14]

the Gorgon, as according to Hyginus[11]

the Colchian Dragon that guarded the Golden Fleece[11]

Scylla[11]

the Teumessian fox, destined never to be caught; sometimes called the Cadmean vixen

**KALYN**

sorry about the numbers...straight off wikipedia

"Caucasian eagle" lol

And that's all I got on Echidna...

Now Hephaestus (which makes a lot of sense with Dave):

**KALYN**

He was the god of technology, blacksmiths, craftsmen, artisans, sculptors, metals, metallurgy, fire and volcanoes. Like other mythic smiths but unlike most other gods, Hephaestus was lame, which gave him a grotesque appearance in Greek eyes. He served as the blacksmith of the gods, and he was worshipped in the manufacturing and industrial centers of Greece, particularly in Athens.

Any famous metalworks you can think of from Greek mythology was most likely crafted by him. ie: winged sandals, Aphrodite's girdel, Helios' chariot, and a bunch of weapons and armor for various gods and heroes.

He created the woman Pandora as well and all of the thrones of mount olympus.

Palace of Olympus*

Don't know if it was a mountain. Stupid Disney.

Apparently Hero (his mother) was a huge hypocritical bitch. Being the goddess of family, she was disgusted by Hephaestus and threw him out of Olympus. Literally.

There are a bunch of variations on that story though.

Bottom line is, he was thrown out and onto earth where he carried out the rest of his days lame.

Hephaestus was the only god said to have returned to Olympus after his or her exile.

How did he get there? Shenanigans.

He played a trick on Hera for revenge, and then all the gods wanted him to return there to fix it, but he refused. So Dionysius came down and got him drunk and dragged him all the way back.

**JESSICA**

Exactly! Ha! Connections are now being formed! Now we just need to know Rose's and John's

**KALYN**

LOL He had an arranged marriage with Aphrodite because he was the only one ugly enough that she didn't want to marry him. She cheated on him with Ares and he played some shenanigans on them too. He ensnared them in an invisible net he made and dragged them naked back to the rest of the gods and all the other gods had a laugh and made them pay an adulterer's fine. Hephaestus was pretty pissed, so he gave Aphrodite back to Zeus and demanded his money back for having to marry her. Because apparently he paid for her.

He's linked with various volcano gods...and apparently some mysterious cult, which is interesting. It was before Greek mythology.

**KALYN**

He was pretty ugly though: He was depicted with crippled feet, and misshapen, either from birth or as a result of his fall from Olympus. In vase-paintings, Hephaestus is usually shown lame and bent over his anvil, hard at work on a metal creation, his feet sometimes back-to-front: Hephaistos amphigyēeis. He walked with the aid of a stick.

In some myths, Hephaestus built himself a "wheeled chair" or chariot with which to move around, thus helping him overcome his lameness while showing the other gods his skill.[25] In Homer's Iliad it is said that Hephaestus built some bronze human machines to help him get around.

**KALYN**

This is just interesting because of the Lewis Carroll reference: Hephaestus's ugly appearance and lameness is taken by some to represent arsenicosis, an effect of low levels of arsenic exposure that would result in lameness and skin cancers. In place of less easily available tin, arsenic was added to copper in the Bronze Age to harden it; like the hatters, crazed by their exposure to mercury, who inspired Lewis Carroll's famous character of the Mad Hatter, most smiths of the Bronze Age would have suffered from chronic poisoning as a result of their livelihood. Consequently, the mythic image of the lame smith is widespread.

And that's all I found on Hephaestus.

I wonder about that "bronze human machine" thing though...If I were to give a crazy character any of its mythological traits, it would most definitely be that.

**KALYN**

Okay this is awesome. Apparently Sollux is still Mr. 2-sided, because in this dream bubble he has one white shoe and one black and his eyes (eye sockets?) are the same. And he's lost depth perception, I think. Which is kinda sad, but anyway. It seems this duality has allowed him to travel outside of the dream bubbles while he's dreaming and into the empty space surrounding them. Which is great if you want to get around the bubbles and stuff. I think Aradia's comment that he has "a foot on either side" means life/death, but that's just a theory. I don't really know if the dead dream bubble dwellers can travel outside of them as well, or if it's just Sollux and God-tier Aradia.

Or maybe that's it. Maybe it's like a foot on either side of the line between mortality and immortality.

And the trolls and humans are about to meet in this clipping. Aradia is waiting to meet them.

Tell me your thoughts on this. Also you haven't answered my Gam/Tav minirant! I was all "ZOMG! " and you were just like "meh."

No. Not even that. You didn't even ACKNOWLEDGE it.

But it's kinda funny that when he had eyes like 3D glasses (as well as glasses like 3D glasses) he could see in 3 dimensions like any other schmuck. And now that that's gone he can't.

Or maybe I'm totally wrong and the big green sun is actually two-dimensional.

But that would just be silly.

**KALYN**

Regarding Jade's mission with the frogs, I'm really curious what the purpose of breeding them all was when the one she needed was in her memory all along. I know she didn't know that at the time, she had to get the information from her denizen and all, and I will let the fact that Kanaya didn't have this sort of information either slide (although I guess her frog would've been a different mission anyway, all the circumstances are different)...But will all the other frogs she bred come into play later? Like, will there be a real use for them? Or was this just a waste of time?

**KALYN**

I guess there are a few things I wonder if the comic couldn't have done without. Initially I thought everything AH throws in there was deliberate and carefully planned. This probably is too though, hopefully. But when they crop up I find myself wondering what the point of it all was.

**KALYN**

But I guess he's proven that he is deliberate in the end, even if it seems pointless, like with Davesprite and Jadesprite. I'm certain Jadesprite will get her shit together and be useful soon. She has Bec's power as well, after all, and Jade's mind. And Davesprite helped out Alpha Dave a lot during the game.

**KALYN**

Speaking of the game, is it still April 13, 2009? Or have some days passed? I know the trolls' session took weeks. But the humans made more progress in a day. Which makes sense, since there's a third of the numbers the trolls had. But seriously, how long has it been now? They're all in the medium now, without the threat of meteors to let us know it hasn't been all that long. And they've been through a lot. Carrying out plans and such.

**JESSICA**

Well, I think the entire thing is supposed to happen in a month. From entering to the Scratch.

**KALYN**

And what are your thoughts on the, uh...other ideas I presented? I feel as though this conversation has been rather one-sided today...

**KALYN**

So this is pretty fascinating. Morgan was doing some research I guess and she found a MSPA Wikia page about DNA nucleotides and how they pertain to each of the characters' screennames. I'll send you the link:

**KALYN**

mspaintadventures(dot)wikia(dot)com/wiki/Online_handles_and_genetics

**KALYN**

Read that. It's pretty cool. But it made me wonder about what sorts of genetics those different pairings will effect (or if only pairs would be enough to predict something like that.)

I know that you can also have groupings of 3 and 4 of these, which made me wonder about the various couples in the comic and if their combined names would also affect a certain pattern or something.

Then we started doing research on the 12 zodiac signs and read the descriptions for each and compared them to the personalities of the trolls:

**KALYN**

www(dot)psychicguild(dot)com/horoscopes_

**KALYN**

It's just one website, I know, but listen.

Aries is apparently very adventurous and has seen it all. I would agree. Aradia has had about five different forms throughout the comic.

"Although they are independent, outgoing and assertive they are also surprisingly trusting, often innocently walking into the lion's den at times." Well she did trust for that one second when Sollux was being all possessed and stuff and it cost her her life. But here's the next sentence: "No matter what upheaval, challenge or triumph they confront - an Aries has a wonderful ability to bounce back."

**KALYN**

Well, she was dead for quite a while and that never discouraged her!

And then it talks about how Aries always have faith in people and the future and stuff.

Taurus didn't fit quite so beautifully, except the statement that they hate to be put in jeopardy of any kind and their life pursuit is to have security (emotionally, physically, etc.) What is kind of funny though is Tavros, according to this, is an extremely sensual being. " An earth sign, they deal well with the personal, physical senses and consequently all the pleasures associated with what they can see, touch, smell and taste, add up to a special delight to them." And they love nature and animals and stuff.

**KALYN**

What totally didn't fit though was that Taureans are supposedly closed off from others regarding their emotions and hide their true feelings, but I always saw Tavros as an open book. He was always talking to people about how he has low self-esteem.

Geminis fit me and Morgan more than Sollux. Sollux is very intelligent, yes, but I can't really see him as an adventure-chaser or living such an enthusiastically creative lifestyle like the horoscope describes. He isn't a huge talker, and he's not really that social, he seems to prefer being an observer to the group. So I think AH based Sollux more on the duality of the sign rather than its supposed personality.

**KALYN**

Cancer is hilarious. I'm just gonna copy/paste some stuff directly. "Life Pursuit: Constant reassurance and intimacy

Vibration: Moody...It is fair to say that most Cancers are a bundle of contradictions. Compassionate and caring with friends, family and lovers, yet they can cut to the bone with their jealous remarks and ever-changing moods. Endearingly eccentric on one hand, and on the other, insecure about how others see them. Like their astrological symbol - the Crab - Cancers can appear hard and insensitive on the outside. However, for those of us who know and love a "Moon Child", we understand that deep below lies a softness and sensitivity that makes them so very special... Life doesn't stand still for this sign, even if they remain in one place, because they live so much in their internal oceans of emotions. Their link with the Moon often makes it impossible for them to operate on an even keel from day to day. Up and down like the proverbial yo-yo, most Cancerians feel one way one minute, then sometimes totally different the next. But this characteristic is part of their charm.

Love and romance matter more than anything else to this sign ...No other sign romances better, equally though, no sign takes it so badly when romance turns sour either. But with their changeable natures Cancerians are fascinating, mysterious, stimulating and extremely alluring. This sign is one of the most magic of all and once their magic has reached you, they are the most beguiling companions. After all, isn't the Moon the most talked about and romantic galactic identity?"

**KALYN**

By the way, that "special" remark there actually did have an ellipses after it. I thought it was hilarious.

Leo: "Love triumphs over all for this sign, which is ruled by the heart and operates from this dimension too. Leo's are born fortunate. Charismatic and positive-thinking they attract not only an abundance of friends and opportunities, but manage to survive life's stormy times with style and good humour. "

**KALYN**

She DOES have a shipping wall. So I will agree with that first statement.

And then it says they are devoted and faithful to their relationships. She totally is. And this is interesting. There are three levels of "soul-evolution" for Leos. The Sphinx, the Lion, and the Lion Cub. Nepeta is clearly a Cub. They cling to others and can't bear to be alone.

Virgo is spot on. Like the entire thing. Basically just good-hearted people who are occasionally used by others but who never become cynical because of it. Always

try to do the right thing.

Ummm...caring and compassionate. "Virgos can often become victims of relationship power-games, where they are mistreated. " This totally did happen with Vriska.

Libra totally doesn't fit. It talks more about pursuing the perfect relationship than a sense of justice. I'm quite certain the only thing Terezi inherited from this sign was the picture of scales and their link with JUSTICE.

If you wanna read it to find something that fits her, feel free to click on that lovely link up there.

Scorpio is perfect. Constantly struggling to choose between the power of love and the love of power. All about power and love and the opposition. Scorpios live "fate-filled lives", which fits with her admiration of her...ancestor, I forget what her name was.

It's difficult for others to understand them emotionally because they have contradicting natures (say what they don't mean...) Most scorpios are winners, but their attitudes can get in the way.

Scorpios also have three levels of evolvement. The Scorpion, the Eagle, and the Phoenix Resurrected. Fascinating. She's the scorpion, the least evolved and most drawn toward using power the wrong way. The other two are considerably wiser.

"Although they are intellectually and spiritually advanced, Sagittarians are notorious for their lack of tact." This is the only statement in Sagittarius that made any sense to me in relation the Equius. The rest talk about how adventurous and independent he is and stuff... I don't know all of what goes on in his head, but the description seemed a bit too optimistic to me.

**KALYN**

So I'm just reading Capricorn right now, and I have goosebumps.

**KALYN**

"there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented by the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The second is the garden goat, with little adventurous spirit or ambition-happy to remain within a small domain, refusing to budge unless it is pushed. Either type of Capricorn, however, is patient and persevering. They reach their goals because they know the longest journey commences with a single step and that the first step is always the most difficult. "

**KALYN**

"Romantically, they desire a permanent relationship with someone who'll give them the affection they crave." Haha. Is this Tavros?

"They have an offbeat sense of humour, which seems to erupt at the most unexpected moments. "

The only thing that seems wrong to me is that everything in this description pertains to business success, which is apparently the motivating factor of the Capricorn's life. Which doesn't seem necessarily true, but could be bent a little to mean his religion thing.

Apparently the element of Aquarius is air. Is that why Eridan's confused about what he wants? Does he want his underwater dwelling friend Fef, or does he have that affinity for air-breathers? Hmmm...

Secret desire: to be unique and original. Explains the hipster getup.

Because this is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius (the Age of Aquarius!) they are regarded as the leaders and trendsetters of the zodiac, undergoing personal change in their values and what makes them content and happy. "Mind-oriented" individuals "whose thoughts never stop tick-tocking over"...whatever that means.

**KALYN**

"Their intense ability to live on many mental levels, holds both pain and pleasure for Aquarians. For example, in the American Hall of Fame there are more Aquarians than any other sign, yet statistics reveal that in mental institutions there are more Aquarians than any other sign too. Many extremes can surround this sign and these extremes can take them to both heaven and hell. "

**KALYN**

Lol

Apparently they're objective, outgoing, and philanthropic. Really?

"Aquarians usually have strong political, environmental or social beliefs. But whether it is a relationship, career or cause - Aquarians are happiest when they have "something" to believe in and nurture." He just wants somebody to love! And then it just goes on about how eccentric and unique they all are.

**KALYN**

"Mysterious and alluring individuals, most Pisces are extremely talented, but even though they are gifted in many ways, they still manage to spend most of their lives battling "confusing" conditions. Pisces is the sign symbolised by the image of two fish. Their symbol depicts one fish heading upward, the other pulling downward. This mirrors how Pisceans are frequently torn between two pathways in life, or actually do live two very different existences at the same time." This goes along with her royalty and then kind of leaving that life behind. She didn't really want to rule the ocean, did she?

**KALYN**

"The number 2 is a very powerful number for them." This would explain her attraction to Sollux.

Which I never fully understood to be honest.

Apparently she has a dual nature as well? Which I don't believe. But it pretty much says she could end up leading people as a great leader or entrepreneur or something, or end up in a prison or institution.

"They fantasize about situations, people and particularly romance - and because they spend so much time in their own form of 'fantasy land' this can catch them short in other more worldly areas. Because of this inner world of fantasy, Pisces people seldom perceive whatever is going on around them in its true light. They see life instead as they want to see it, coloring their view of the world in hues and tones far removed from its true reflection. No wonder this is the sign of both miracles and disillusionment." This sounds a little more like Nepeta to me, but I guess it could apply to Fef a little.

**KALYN**

"One thing that plays havoc with your life is romance. When things romantically are going well for you, you are on cloud nine. When romance turns sour you land in a heap. Pisces often need to take lots of holidays (or time off) to recover from life's many diverse pressures. You are the zodiac's most sensitive sign, so you need to take extra special care of yourself. Nobody can beat you up, as much as you can beat yourself up within your own mind. In your purest form you are psychic, visionary and a guiding light to all who know you. But, in your "out of tune" state, you become depressed, obsessive and confused." To me, this sounds just like her, but more on the positive side. I think she's pretty well-adjusted given the circumstances surrounding her and everyone else.

**KALYN**

And wow, I totally just spammed you with horoscopes, but there you go. More for the character analysis!

FIGURED OUT ROSE'S AND JOHN'S DENIZENS!

Exploring various pages of the MSPA wikia, and this is one on all the kids. Their WEB BROWSERS on their computers are name after their Denizens!

Dave's is Hephaestus, Jade's is Echidna!

John's is Typheus and Rose's is Cetus!

" TYPHEUS, named after the last son of Gaia who attempted to destroy Zeus. The icon for Typheus is the same as the unspeakably hideous trophy at the ground level of Jade's home." Which I think is referring to that giant worm thing, which I saw on a recent update, but I forget where. " CETUS, a Greek sea monster, daughter of Gaia and Pontus." I'll let you do the research on these two.

**KALYN**

Dude there is so much information on this site I don't even... Here. mspaintadventures(dot)wikia(dot)com/wiki/Homestuck_Kids

**KALYN**

You just need to explore this website. There are lots of clues and connections we never noticed before.

By the way, John is spades, Rose is hearts, Dave is clubs and Jade is diamonds.

**KALYN**

Hey the four humors apply to the kids pretty well too. Each humor (which is a substance found in the body) is assigned an element and some characteristics. John's element is air, which means his substance is blood and his characteristics are "courageous, hopeful, amorous." Dave's element is fire, which means his substance is yellow bile and his characteristics are "easily angered, bad tempered." Which I guess could sort of apply to him, if he's being ironic to mask his emotions. Rose's element is water and her substance is phlegm and her characteristics "calm, unemotional." And finally Jade is associated with earth, black bile, and being "despondent, sleepless, irritable." Irritable with the trolls, sure. But sleepless for sure.

**KALYN**

This is ancient Greek/Roman ideas that later western european and muslim cultures adopted in their medical practices.

There are also season associated with these. John is spring, Dave summer, Jade autumn, and Rose winter, which seems to be the sort of weather they were having at the start of the comic.

Or maybe it wasn't that. Maybe it was during some flashbacks or something when we saw them. I remember at least seeing Rose in snow at some point.

Maybe it was when they met? Like on Pesterchum or something? Or during some conversation they were reminiscing about? Either way, it totally fits.

You really need to get on and scroll all the way back up to the Gamz/Tav rant and fricken respond to what I am saying!

I'll start on Rose's and John's denizens. Rose's is Cetus. It's a sea monster. Depicted as serpentine fish in Greek art. There is hardly any information on this one other than it's name (ketos) means "huge fish." I guess it could have been the fish that swallowed Jonah in the Bible. Cetus has been used as a ships name or a maidenhead to show that the men sailing it are unafraid of the sea. Usually pirates. Also viewed as a bad omen or misfortune by sailors. Believed to be the bringer of a great storm or misfortune to the ship. That's pretty much all I got on Cetus. I don't even know if it's male or female. More of an animal, really.

**KALYN**

Typheus was hard to find, since there is no Typheus other than the one in MSPA. It's actually named after Typhon. So here we go with that one. This is important: his wife was Echidna. He was the last son of Gaia and the most deadly monster of Greek mythology, but also the father of all monsters, just like Echidna was the mother. " His human upper half reached as high as the stars. His hands reached east and west and, instead of a human head, he had a hundred dragon heads; some however depict him as having a human head and the dragon heads being attached to his hands instead of fingers. He was feared even by the mighty gods. His bottom half was gigantic viper coils that could reach the top of his head when stretched out and made a hissing noise. His whole body was covered in wings, and fire flashed from his eyes." This guy was pretty terrifying.

**KALYN**

"Typhon attempts to destroy Zeus at the will of Gaia, because Zeus had imprisoned the Titans. Typhon initially overcame Zeus in their first battle, and tore out Zeus' sinews. However, Hermes recovered the sinews and restored them to Zeus. Typhon was finally defeated by Zeus, who trapped him underneath Mount Etna." I bet he's pretty bitter about that. If John finds him, I imagine he would be pretty angry. Also, it would make sense if John had to find him in a mountain.

**KALYN**

Echidna was also his niece, and it goes into detail about all the monsters he fathered with her. They're probably all the same though. There's a whole thing about his fight with Zeus, and different accounts of where he ended up. ". Typhon is thus the chthonic figuration of volcanic forces, as Hephaestus (Roman Vulcan) is their "civilized" Olympian manifestation." That's an interesting connection with another Denizen. Here's where the wind thing makes sense: "Typhon is also the father of hot dangerous storm winds which issue forth from the stormy pit of Tartarus, according to Hesiod." Sounds kinda like the situation in that planet John's on!

**KALYN**

He's associated with storms, mainly typhoons, which makes total sense. That's mostly what I found on him.

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO ANSWER EVERYTHING I HAVE PRESENTED TO YOU! Come on! This is fascinating stuff! There's so much more to just the kids too, like their connection to Tarot cards! There's a lot of stuff here!

Oh, reading back, apparently Cetus was a girl. So ther eou go.

You're on?

You tease. I saw you typing!

**JESSICA**

It is very fascinating, I just have to read it all! lol and I know I'm a tease *smug smile*

**KALYN**

Let me know your thoughts as you read through it. Like...just comment whenever something comes to mind as you're reading.

**KALYN**

mspaintadventures(dot)wikia(dot)com/wiki/Ancestors

mspaintadventures(dot)wikia(dot)com/wiki/Lusus

These are very informative.

To keep from interrupting you're reading (if you actually are), I will continue to type what I have to say without sending. Aradia had voices of the dead speaking to her in her head, right? At least while she was a ghost, she might have before/after that though. Sollux has voices too though. Weren't they voices of people who were GOING to die? Or something close to that. I read on this wikia site that trolls lower on the caste system were more likely to have psychic powers, so it makes sense for Aradia and Sollux to have that. I wonder if Tavros had any sort of psychic abilities. I don't think Karkat did though. I think he's actually considered a mutant, his blood color sort of excludes him from the hemospectrum so he's not even on the caste system. Which explains why he has so much self-loathing, he doesn't feel like he even belongs.

I didn't notice this before, but Vriska and Kanaya have matching horns. One of them anyway. They each have a horn that's bent down (Vriska's right and Kanaya's left). Just found it interesting.

After reading the Lusus page, it struck me that Gamzee seemed to be the only high-blooded troll with a true sense of compassion, at least in the way he trusted his lusus and comforted it as it died. I kind of wish his lusus was around more often though. He seemed to really care about it.

Feferi doesn't count in that whole comparison. She's kind of an exception to every rule.

**JESSICA**

Caught up on Homestuck, now to get caught up on this x.x

**KALYN**

Cool. Feel free to replay sporadically! If you're messaging is anything like mine, it may help to have two windows open, one for reading, one for responding! That way you won't have to scroll.

The Wanderers is by far the coolest Homestuck soundtrack.

**JESSICA**

I need to be taking freaking notes while I read all of this! There's just way too much!

**KALYN**

I know, I know. I got excited in your absence. There's still more out there that I didn't mention.

**JESSICA**

Ok, the Hephaestus stuff, cool. I always like learning about Greek Gods. Ummm... Other than the whole exile how does it correlate though? Echidna, lol, yeah. I think she would totally look like that.

You are evil

And half of it wouldn't show for me at the time anyway

**KALYN**

Half wouldn't show? Sorry. I know. Curse me to the Heavens after you've read it all and discussed it with me. 0:)

**JESSICA**

now it does though

gah! Emily's messaging me

**KALYN**

me too.

**JESSICA**

I think i'm going to cry

There's just too much

i'll power through, but I have to keep finding my place again

I'm not going on vacation ever again...or at least not until Homestuck is over!

Oh, and I thought flipped out at the GamzeexTavros thing.

I think that is just common practice for Gamz though. Inviting people to sloppy makeout sessions

Also, the Green Sun could totally be 2D, whoever says it can't be?

**KALYN**

Hey I know you really don't wanna hear from me after everything, but this is interesting. Someone pointed out in a review that John (DeadJohn in the clippings) gave Vriska (DeadVriska) a jacket while they were in his yard in the snow. The same jacket she's been wearing the entire series. Do you think they had the same jacket, that it's just a weird memory/dream bubble thing, or that somehow she got this jacket a long time ago from this whole deal? Sort of like when John's gift to Jade was sent back to when she was a little girl, and it sparked her interest in growing pumpkins rather than helping her hobby along.

**KALYN**

Food for thought!

Because you need more.

Speaking of Gamzee's habit of make-out invitations, I think the other time was supposed to be from Terezi...but from him. I think he intended it to be from Terezi...like...God, this makes no sense. He wrote it, but under Terezi's speech habits, so it seemed like it was from her. Like maybe he just wanted Karkat and Terezi to get some lovin. While he just stood there, watching like a creep.


	13. The Rest of It

Jess will very likely be taking a break from Homestuck (and this, consequently) due to medical issues, so I can't say when the next chapter will be up, if any. Therefore, I am putting up the rest of that conversation (which has tragically turned into a rather one-sided pile of research anyway) up to what I submitted today. Hopefully she's just fine and will be able to get back to this eventually, but right now there's absolutely no pressure.

Special shout out to JExy-tan for noticing that in this flash (mspaintadventures(dot)com/?s=6&p=003568) we see the kids' guardians fighting their denizens (presumably), which leads one to believe that we missed many other pivotal plot points throughout this whole comic and may have to reread it all again! And also a thanks to you for keeping up the conversation when Jessica was too busy!

More random, potentially-but-probably-not related research here (really, it's more of a lens that you can look through when reading the comic and its characters) and it's very one-sided. I hope to be able to talk more about this soon, but I can't really say. If not, thanks for being interested this far and I hope we were able to spark some interest and help to make some connections. :)

Ursca on DA, if you ever see this, sorry about the gender thing. I think I just started switching genders with each sentence because I decided that you are some sort of hermaphrodite or someone who can switch, just like every other anonymous on the internet. But your art is amazing!

Also, I still haven't seen any erotic alien-taboo troll/human fics! What's up with that?

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

I JUST FUCKING SAW DAVE WALKING DOWN MY STREET.

I mean...a blond dude wearing a shirt that looks like Dave's...

**KALYN**

Timeline's linear again.

Sort of.

Catch up first, cause I'm about to dish some spoilers.

**KALYN**

Karkat, from right before he has to take care of a murderous Gamzee, talks to Jade and tells her that he believes he is in a doomed timeline, because everyone is just dying. He also blames the failures of both games on himself now instead of the human kids. He thinks that he fucked up the frog genome project (Kanaya was right about that) and, when they made that frog (which turned out to also be the kids' universe...a giant frog is also a universe. That's how they made the universe, by making the frog.) he thought it looked sick because it was missing a critical gene. And then he said he gave it cancer. He gave the universe cancer.

This is obviously that tumor thing, but I think the pun on his astrological sign is hilarious.

Anyway. I fucking love this update, I could stare at that giant pulsating rainbow frog universe for hours. On acid. Listening to MGMT. Fucking yes.

**JESSICA**

So, did you notice that Karkat totally knew it was Gamzee? Although this feels like standard procedure for Gamz, asking for sloppy makeout sessions. It's like his schtick or something. Ok, I will know continue reading (and I will get back to you on the other stuff, i just need to freaking take notes for it all, and I need syphon through your Criminal Minds ff stuff. That might be what threw me off in the first place .)

So it's only the one panel this time? And I agree, the whole cancer thing was funny.

Lol, that would be some trip, huh?

They all ready covered that the universe was made by a frog, I thought, didn't they?

And did I read right that you think the The Tumor was the hiccup in the genetic sequence? Because if that's the case, then Kar didn't totally mess everything up. He only allowed the two groups to actually meet. See Karkat? Not everything is bad

**KALYN**

Yes I did notice. Remember back when I was trying to figure out Karkat's thoughts when he answered that message? I think we came to the conclusion that he knew it was Gamzee and assumed Terezi was dead. Don't worry about the Criminal Minds stuff, haha. Sorry about all that. But I was watching that show today, and let me tell you it is the ONLY show I have ever seen that showed a trial (as in legal trial, court case, judge and jury stuff) accurately. They were spot on with the procedures and everything, it was beautiful. I guess yeah, the vast croak was the big bang, made by a frog, but I didn't realize that the universe WAS a frog... And I think the Tumor was the cancer Karkat was talking about, so yeah, I guess that would make it the hiccup in the sequence, which isn't a totally bad thing if it lets them meet...And it would make sense that resetting the game would fix the whole problem since Karkat's blaming the entire fuck up on his general capacity to screw things up from the get go.

**JESSICA**

Poor Karkat though it's not surprising. Hmmm, maybe Karkat believed he deserved to be raped by Gamzee (so morbid ):O ) but, really, if Terezi was dead, and Kar KNEW it was Gamz, then what other reason would he have gone up there for? Guh!

**KALYN**

Confrontation? I think he realized shit was going down, and someone had to do something about it.

**KALYN**

Hey so someone on DA called Ursca drew the denizens (3 of them anyway, among a bunch of other amazing things) and they look totally awesome. Typheus looks just as horrifying as I would imagine! Here, check out her stuff. ursca(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/

**KALYN**

Or his. I always assume everyone on the internet is a she. So, check out his/her stuff, I guess.

**JESSICA**

Is Ursca one of the artists for Homestuck? Because that's what it looks like.

**KALYN**

Could be, I guess. I honestly have no idea. It's not pixelated or anything like I would expect from the comic though, she could just be a fan. But what do I know? I know that she's really fucking good is all.

**JESSICA**

That is very true. There should be a list on the extras page or something. I might check it out later

**KALYN**

Would you know if it was him? What if it didn't say Ursca? If you found one of the pictures from his gallery somewhere on the MSPA site I guess you would know then.

**KALYN**

So apparently Bec Noir is that cancer. How did he get out of the humans' session again? I'm liking that countdown, it lets me know how close the climax of this giant clusterfucked universe of a comic is. XD

My ships are sinking.

I don't like Terezi that much. Or Vriska. STOP MESSING WITH MY PAIRING YOU HUSSIES!

And we are still left with the question of what will happen once the scratch has been ...scratched and the kids and trolls have finally met? What will they do then? Clearly not save the universe, since the scratch prevents that and they've all fucked it up too much (Karkat). Just...float around in Dream Bubbles for all of eternity? What about those abominations Rose always talks to? Hmmmmmmmmmm...

**JESSICA**

Ok, Jack got out via the scratch they make using the tumor. Who knows what they will do once they all join up? Maybe they will go and stop Jack? Maybe they will just have a huge orgy because of all the suppressed hormones they couldn't express properly through the pesterlog.

So I was really disapointed when I tried to see Gamzee and Dave's conversation, but Gamzee just shook his head at me! That coy devil! I'm assuming the same happened to you though

I think you should go to the music, listen to the new Wanderer's album and listen to Mayor Maynot It is really hilarious about half way through. I think you and Morgan will especially appreciate it

**KALYN**

we have listened to it. LOVE IT. it's my favorite album of theirs. it makes me want to create animated videos for it. of the wanderers... yeah

oh, and this is morgan... not sure why kalyn was logged on on my acounty thingy...

Actually Kalyn now. I believe I mentioned before that The Wanderers is the coolest HS soundtrack.

**KALYN**

I just read Gamzee's and Dave's conversation, apparently it updated since then. I haven't finished it, so I guess I'm commenting on it here as I go through it. First of all, it's confusing with the picture because there seems to be another Gamzee running around with the powers of Dave's Bro. He even puts Lil Cal right beside Gamzee. I'm slightly confused. Why would there be two Gamzees? And isn't Bro dead at this point? Is there someone being a Gamzee/Bro imposter? Who knows...

Also he probably gave Dave the idea to send him that ICP video during this conversation, so ultimately it's his fault anyway.

We do hear about Gamzee's religion though, and what's in that prophecy that he believes so much in.

The Vast Honk sounds very close to the Vast Croak (or whatever that was) that began the universe. It would make a lot of sense if this prophecy was about him and the other trolls all along.

**KALYN**

And Gamzee's basically pissed because apparently ICP was the answer to his religion. Just like he didn't want to know about science because it took away the miracles, the video just explained how his religion came to be, and it wasn't miraculous anymore. That was the blasphemy of it.

Now that Dave's made him question his faith, he doesn't see a reason for anything anymore.

**KALYN**

Delirious Biznasty message board is hilarious. "Dude I hit a bird bath and broke my collarbone. I'm hungry." "Was it the same collarbone you broke before? Make that hunger your bitch." "You should buy a new bird bath. That shit's messed up." "It was the same collarbone. Nah, the bird bath's fine." And then some random dude like "Faaaaaaaaaaagzzzzzzz! Peace out!"

**KALYN**

And freaking Betty Crocker gave Dave that music video. Is Betty Crocker some villain that foresaw the events of Gamzee's murderous rage as the effect of this video being shown to him through Dave? Betty Crocker's the one that planted this fucking seed in the first place, causing the deaths of many trolls! Fucking Betty Crocker.

**KALYN**

I think Gamzee's blaming himself a little bit for the cancerous universe of the humans as well. He says he made it terminal. With clowns. Apparently he's the one that affected John's dreams with clowns (by thinking reeeaalllly hard about it!) and caused lots of clowny things to be ingrained in this whole webcomic as an effect.

Which apparently is cancerous.

Gamzee knows Dave's fears. Of Lil Cal. How did he find out about that? How did he get Cal again?

He knows that Bro is dead. How does he know all of this? Did Dave tell him before, was he dead when he sent that video? Why is Gamzee suddenly omnipotent? You'll probably remind me of some things again, but right now I am quite confused.

Oh God.

I think Cal told him.

I think Lil Cal told Gamzee everything about Dave and Bro.

Shit...

Gamzee's pretty sad about Tavros dying though.

Dave didn't help the situation though. He just told Gamzee to go kill people. Because Cal told him to.

Sounds like Gamzee's eating Tavros. "THIS PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH I'M MOTHERFUCKING MAKING BETWEEN MY LIPS." He wants to add some of Dave's "STRAWBERRY JAM" to it.

They have an awesome rap-off. I hope we get to hear that soon.

**KALYN**

So the latest update is confusing. There's a fifth wall, Andrew Hussie is in God Tier form, and Aradia looks like an Asian maid (maid of time?) working for Doc Scratch. Scratch calls AH self-indulgent and says he doesn't fit into this universe. Why a fifth wall? Is that like the wall between an author and his works?

**KALYN**

Regardless, I'm not sure if it fits in with the plot. Usually when AH does his self-insertions, they're quite random and not really all that effectual to the universe.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I see that Gamzee, he's really wierd

**KALYN**

Aradia is now Doc Scratch's maid? And she's pissed off at him for something and tries to fight him. He's rather immune to all of it though and even stops her breathing for a bit just by thinking about it. And they're headed to her home planet, if I've paid the right amount of attention. Why is she with him? I'm so confused...

**KALYN**

Oh now it looks like he's treating her as a spoiled, sheltered daughter. She has a frilly bed and a table and chairs that looks like it's for tea parties. And she threatens suicide. Losing her another privilege (electricity)... Hm. Still confused about how she got into this predicament.

**KALYN**

Remember when I said the kids were like the four humors? "LaHaye believes there are twelve mixtures of the four temperaments, representing people who have the traits of two temperaments, called Mel-Chlor, Chlor-San, San-Phleg, Phleg-Mel, Mel-San, Chlor-Phleg; and the reverse of these: Chlor-Mel, San-Chlor, Phleg-San, Mel-Phleg, San-Mel, and Phleg-Chlor. The order of temperaments in these pairs was based on which temperament was the "dominant" one (this is usually expressed by percentages)." Does this sound familiar? Notice the correlation between this and the 12 combinations of 4 DNA genome things? Could be similar to the trolls, and it might also have something to do with the humans that each troll interacts with. So if John was sanguine and Jade was melancholic, then Karkat, who spends most of his time talking to these two, could be San-Mel (with John as his primary correspondent and Jade as his secondary) or vise versa. Just something interesting to think about as well.

**KALYN**

Apparently the previous descriptions of the four temperaments I had used before were outdated, but the new ones don't deviate too much from them. Maybe a couple stray traits added or taken away, but generally the gist is the same.

**KALYN**

www(dot)goingthedistance(dot)org/pages(dot)asp?pageid=18155

Through reading and deciding and some processes of elimination (there were several that were between the same trolls, and we were getting to the point where it didn't matter all that much) Morgan and I have matched up the trolls to (what we think) is the best combinations of the four humors that fits each personality. If you click the link though, you'll see that it's all written through a Christian lens (which is kind of what made it more difficult to apply to the trolls, since it's irrelevant) and that's because the guy who wrote this and came up with the blending ideas was a Christian. But anyway: San-Chlor=Karkat; San-Mel=Equius; San-Pleg=Nepeta; Clor-San=Vriska; Chlor-Mel=Terezi; Chlor-Pleg=Aradia; Mel-San=Eridan; Mel-Chlor=Gamzee; Mel-Pleg=Sollux; Phleg-San=Tavros; Pleg-Chlor=Feferi; Phleg-Mel=Kanaya. Don't you just love how into this crap we get?

**KALYN**

Gar, I kept saying "Pleg." I meant "Phleg" for all of those. x_x

* * *

><p>Shorter than most, but that's the rest of it, at least for now. Feel free to keep the conversation going in the reviews (there are already some points people brought up there that I haven't fully addressed here anyway, so if you're absolutely captivated by all of this, there are some fresh opinions for you). Thanks for everything, guys! :)<p> 


	14. Texting

So I was reading some Homestuck fanfiction and I came across a gem of a story involving chicken korma that made me totally hot for curry. Thanks for posting that beautiful work, author-whose-name-I'm-too-lazy-to-find. :D Then I was going through more fanfiction and I just start ranting about the stuff I was reading. I would apologize to anyone who reads this and finds me ranting about their own fic, but frankly I don't have much motivation to do so. I'm always critiquing the fanfiction I read, these critiques just aren't very delicately put. But anyway... I was texting Jessica about it all, and here you go. I seem to have this serious obsession with documenting all of our conversations and posting them up here in the hopes that people might maybe find something amusing in them. I should probably get some help...

* * *

><p>K: We need to hang out soon. There is this amazing crack fic on ff and I can't tell you which one because I have to be the one to read it to you. Have to<p>

K: I really hope you haven't read it already! …you haven't read anything recently about curry have you? If you haven't don't look for it!

K: Like I said I have to be the one!

K: Its like…my self-appointed right to be the one to read aloud literary works of genius and crack.

K: BTW there are three chapters and each is better than the last!

K: …in a sexual way.

J: ….

J: OK

J: …..

K: …is that a yes?

J: That is on fact a yes

J: =_= *in

K: Really? Yay!

J: No! I'm lying.

J: And I feel this deeply seeded hatred for you and your sister.

K: Oh God I just…I found another…I don't even…O.O this has such horrible…tones…

J: Lol, no reaction^^

K: If it's interesting enough we'll have to read this necro fest of a fic as well.

K: To what you said just then? Yeah the necro fest seemed more noteworthy at the time hehe

…

J: ….. What is this for precisely?

K: …what?

J: What is the FF of?

K: Not telling cuz I don't want you to look it up! I told you, I'm the one!

J: I promise I won't look! Scouts honor!

K: Okay…its homestuck. Been reading some johndave. Don't think I'll read the necro fest though. It's a bit too…-shudder-

J: Lol, it's bad?

K: Well it has something to do with that peanut butter sandwich gamzees motherfucking making between his lips.

K: I'll tell you the summary too: you don't have to have a body to give head.

J: …. O.o

K: Title is Decapitation

J: …..

J: ….

J: O.o

K: Nuff said

J: Gamzee is….. ummmm…

J: Yeah….

J: That writer is….. Ummmmm

K: Two main reasons it doesn't work for me (beyond the obvious):

K: 1: troll anatomy isn't human anatomy like the story implies

K: 2: Gamzee keeps talking and the voice I keep hearing is octopimp's version of him and it weirdest me out

K: Weirds*

J: …..

K: As always your input is insightful and enlightening.

J: Got that ;)

K: Lol here's a great one. Title: RP 8411. Summary: Yaoi Sullox and me

K: Misspelled and everything.

J: :?

K: I didn't bother to read it but I can if you want to know if it's horrible enough to read later

K: Oh its in chat form. Probably an actual roleplay they did online.

J: Lol, its ok. Only if you want

K: In fact there's probably websites for this shit. Like sexbot chats only with geeky premises like homestuck characters.

J: Sweet! That would be so fun

K: It's the perfect medium since the comic is based primarily in chat.

J: I think I would like to stumble upon another fan

K: This fic is shit. I only hope it wasn't a real chat for "sollux"'s sake.

J: Ah, really? That bad, huh?

K: This Guy is like…he's a total fanboy and annoying as hell. Based on the sollux reactions the chat was real.

J: Yeah, that would suck

K: We shall read this later its so depressingly bad. Because of this idk if I would go trolling ever.

J: :/

K: Or maybe I would for the endless compliments and telling me I have "swag."

J: I think I might still, but probably only as Gamz

J: Lol, um haha

K: I would probably as Dave or sollux. Maybe karkat if I was feeling moved to rant a lot and over exaggerate shit.

J: Yeah

J: I might be able to do Tavros too, and maybe john if I'm feeling particularly optimistic and dense

J: And possibly Kar

K: Oh God it just got slightly more explicit O.O

J: O.o

K: Scratch that: wayyy more explicit.

K: Actual chat…?

J: I haven't a clue, lol, I wait for you to read it to me

K: And then it just fucking stops right before it was about to get real dirty. I'm…actually very uncomfortable with the last line here…

J: Oh :S

K: I really hate reading about anal. I mean the act itself is okay for me but the "preparation" I just don't like to hear about. Awkward.

K: …anyway, that's pretty much what I was left with.

J: Yeah, speaking of which, have you read the most recent SATW?

K: Well in any case annoying fanboy successfully managed to seduce a troll.

J: Fahaha

J: Nice!

K: Yes haha with the movie monsters?

J: Lol

J: Yes ^^

K: H'm…you know I hate oc's but this one is paired with eridan and somehow I'm not bothered as much.

J: Is it a good match and not a Mary sue or self indulgent character?

K: Only read the summary so idk. Want me to find out?

J: Doesn't matter ^^

K: Guh. Okay. Japanese sounding name. Strike one. You better start up a fucking tally right now.

J: Oh? What are you reading? That OC one or something else?

K: Strike two. Opinion of self is abnormal. Also the word "bronze" in hair description, but I'm nitpicky.

K: Yes Oc one

J: Abnormal? As in that's how they described themselves? Or the description is abnormal?

K: Strike three. Appeared in the universe of story and has no idea how or why.

K: To answer the last question: "I am…in my opinion, weird."

J: ah, yes. Not good. They could have at least said other people think that of them

K: And this is just about the character. Don't even get me started on the shitty clichés used in this bullshit writing style.

J: Eeee, not good

J: I don't mind people enjoying writing, but they shouldn't put out crap

K: Strike four. Doesn't react when told she's on an asteroid. Strike five. Acknowledges that she didn't react and says most humans aren't as calm.

J: Sooo BAAAAD!

J: Although it's people like them that give me hope that I might make money writing .

K: This goes with strike five in the "I'm specialer than everyone" sense. Blushes gray. Is called different and special. Reaction: "cool."

J: Huh lol, topaz is helping ^^

K: Then they have a bullshit conversation filled with blushing, insecure thoughts and apologies, punctuated with "um, where am I going to stay?"

J: Sigh

K: As if she decided to stay over at a friends place and didn't just wake up on a fucking asteroid full of trolls who told her she's a human test subject

K: And the proceeded to not study or do any experiments on her

J: Yeah…

(and now a look into my crazed need to document! I needed Jessica's help to get the material that my phone had immediately deleted. God, I am such a narcissist and I need a life... ._.; )

K: Weird request: can you forward our messages up until your "lol no reaction" starting from today's conversation?

J: I don't think so, at least it would take awhile, because I would have to copy and paste each message.

J: Why?

K: …would you be able to type them as accurately as possible on Facebook or email? To be honest I'm a freak with a constant agenda and quite fond of

K: This conversation …

J: Fah, ok. Why can't you? Not that I can't

J: I'm just curious

K: Its because my phone wont let me see the messages before that point

J: Oh, ok. And how far back do you want me to go? Because I can go back to our first conversation. Although I would get very aggravated very quickly XD

K: Start with my message from today around 9 something or 10 I think

J: Lol, so just today? Our past selves did have somegems you know ;)

K: Well feel free to type up some gems if you like so long as I can distinguish from today's and you are painfully accurate about it

J: I'm assuming this is Kalyn, right?

K: It always was ;) you should've figured that out when I said I have to be the one reading everything aloud

J: No, I assumed so. I just wanted to make sure I sent it to the right person.

K: I eagerly await your message with baited breath. ;) which medium have you decided to use, by the way?

J: Probably facebook

K: Oh good. The usual then!

J: Unless you want it neatly in one message.

K: That would be nice actually

J: Same email as always then?

K: Yup k13 and all that

J: Excellent! As far as previously requested? Because that's not a whole lot

J: Just so you know

K: I know that no worries. You can do the searching for gems thing too if you like

J: Lol, k

(time passed….still reading fanfiction, by the way.)

K: "He didn't bother to reciprocate in return." Redundancy award of the day. Sorry if this text slips you up by the way.

J: GAH! It totally did! DX

K: Sooorry…

J: Btw, I'm typing everything, sans the part you wanted specifically, into a document, then I'll send everything to you with the attachment

J: Actually I lied, I send short part now, the rest later

K: Oh beautiful! Wow, with times and everything!

K: Coincidentally I was also typing J: and K: before everything

J: Yup, I try to put your initials if I know who's talking

(back to the fanfiction!)

K: I just found the most intentionally retarded crack fic in the world its pretty fun

K: Oh damn it's a creepy necro fest as well…

K: Tavros has a giant dick that keeps growing to massive lengths. This is a gross story.

J: Omigod! Are you srs? What is wrong with people?

K: Ha. They put their own name in the fic. But I guess the word "vagins" was bound to show up in a shitstorm of this caliber.

K: Then they form a sex train. Which, naturally, involves a lot of anal and a strange hermaphroditic circumstance.

K: Also a biological impossibility in which a "vagins" can penetrate another orifice.

J: …..

K: John is a genie and they go eat at applebees afterward.

J: O.o

K: Haha the author is apparently Mexican. And has some sort of stereotype about applebees ingrained in her head.

K: And then a random pair of child siblings have incestual sex.

K: This story was written by some very immature and filthy-minded individuals.

K: It says "TO BE CONTINUED….?" at the end. God I hope its never continued.

K: Oh and it was written in all caps and Springer speak (which I think you can get on Google translate or maybe it's a feature on word now)

K: Which only makes it more annoying.

J: Springer?

K: Yeah like Jerry Springer. That charming brand of language. Only more vulgar and somehow less accurate.

K: Anatomically speaking.

J: I am not familiar

K: Just picture every other word being sexual and vulgar in some way.

K: And every statement is ridiculous and highly improbable.

J: Oh, ok

K: Also highly offensive in a poor attempt to be funny.

J: It all makes sense from what I know of the jerry springer show

K: I wonder if the author wasn't actually Mexican and didn't actually find the story funny and was somehow being racist by posing and implying an

K: Offensive stereotype about Mexicans?

J: Oh?

K: I just want to believe that writers can all have a layer of sophistication at least on some level.

J: Sadly, darling, that is not the case

K: … I'm going to find a story with some class. Anything is a step above the torrent of vulgarity I just read.

J: I don't know why you sat through it all, frankly

K: Meh. Wasn't that long.

K: There's a cute sounding one where tav tells gam a fairy-tale on a rainy day but I don't think I have the energy for 8 chapters…

J: Lol

J: That's good at least

K: This one apparently made several pairings married since one character took the others name in each. All slash too.

J: Oh…

K: Really tells a lot about their view on those relationships regarding gender roles.

J: Huh

K: Dave and john Strider. Tavros and eridan nitram. Sollux and karkat captor.

J: Wow, hmmm I don't like a couple of those

K: Which? Well tav and eridan obviously.

J: Lol, just Davexjohn would I even remotely consider

J: ? I told you I would only consider Davexjohn

K: Aww I like karsol

K: I didn't resend it…

J: Mmmm. … They're best friends as far as I'm concerned

K: But yeah Dave john is what I'm currently addicted to

K: Ha same with the human boys

J: You didn't resend what?

K: You're consecutive, uninterrupted texts read as follows:

K: Lol, just Davexjohn would I even remotely consider

K: ? I told you I would only consider Davexjohn

K: I merely came to a logical conclusion and responded accordingly.

K: Blegh. Your*

J: Oh well, I should probably go to bed. You can keep texting, but I won't answer. Good night and I love you

K: K nite then

* * *

><p>blegh. I really need to stop spamming you guys with bullshit conversations. oh well.<p> 


	15. March Madness

Just a really short late-night conversation while we were both on deviantart about a trend I've noticed involving cross dressing characters. This was by far the easiest thing I've had to research.

And OH MY GOD I'm so glad that the comic is out of Doc Scratch's place! Finally! When I first started reading, it was just about to go into that intermission, and it is such a relief to be back on the main timeline! I love the ancestors and everything, but there is so much crammed into this comic that long monologues and picture-trails from random times get me really confused about the order of things and what all is connected and gah. Also, I absolutely love everything that went down with Karkat and Gamzee. See, Karkat? You finally filled a quadrant! Granted it wasn't the one you wanted filled, but it's something, right? More than many of the other trolls can say!

Also, because of that amazing curry story, Jess and I will be eating curry later this week! I'm excited. So excited.

Agh, anyway...

* * *

><p>J: By the way, Doodle-Master on deviantart has an amazing Eridan picture<p>

…

J: By the way, look up that picture. It's called MARCH MADNESS by doodle master

K: Looking

K: Wow I have seen so many fucking pictures of cross dressing eridan in this outfit where did it come from?

K: Wait plaid skirt or blue top?

J: I haven't a clue

J: But doodle master is one of the artists for Homestuck

J: What?

K: I know that much at least. Which picture? Because apparently this March madness is a thing.

J: Oh, ok. He's in a blue top with shoes I really want ^^

J: Also, apparently Eridan is a beater?

K: OK so the one by doodle master. I'm such a dumbass. But yeah 65 results from homestuck eridan March madness.

J: Although that was a commission

K: Beater?

J: Yes, from Harry potter

K: Oh God I don't think its just eridan with this March madness thing…

K: Just mostly him

J: Lol, look up 18 – Rapping what the he'll

J: Did you look up just march madness?

J: *he'll

J: Fuck! *hell

K: Homestuck March madness. Where the fuck did it come from?

J: You know what! Just go through doodle masters stuff when you get the chance

J: He'll if I know where it came from!

K: … did you do that on purpose?

J: Do what?

K: …just…nevermind…

J: ….. ?

K: I love the lyrics of rapping equius in her commission gallery lol

J: It's great, I really love aradia's expression ^^

K: I'm trying to look up March madness and see where it originated…

K: Oh found it.

J: And?

K: There was a homestuck calendar that was made and the March picture had eridan cross dressing in this now famous outfit. And now people celebrate it.

J: Lol

K: Haha there are even comments on it like "so you're the reason for all of this?"

J: Haha, yeah, I didn't have the patience to read them all

J: Speaking of no patience, I'm going to bed

J: Please to not be texting me please.

K: :'( well then I'll just leave you with this parting thought:

J: I'm gonna be listening to music, and I'd rather my iPod didn't shout "hello" at me ;)

K: I really love seeing sollux in a skimpy queen bee outfit. Sweet dreams!

J: Fahajaha!

J: Good night, love you

* * *

><p>If anyone has found any great pictures of Sollux in a skirt and heels, please send me a link or something because I am all over that shit.<p> 


	16. Reiterations

Wow, it's been a while. Jessica is answering me again, which is awesome! And this time I think we have a solid theory about one of the mysteries that we mentioned wayyy back in the beginning of this whole thing! -sigh- Not much else to say on the matter. I've been rereading the webcomic, and all of this is like a memory refresher, but some of it is really helpful. It just blew my mind how something at the very beginning of the story will pertain directly to something that we just saw in recent updates. It's crazy how much AH has clearly been planning this whole thing. Anyway, if people are still reading this, here's some stream-of-consciousness.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

Hey. So. I'm rereading Homestuck since my classes haven't started yet and it hasn't updated yet. It. Is. Enlightening.

I'll mention the more important things (that I can remember) that haven't already been alluded to in past conversations.

First, Rose. Toward the beginning, John is in the Medium, she has yet to begin playing with Dave. She goes to a laboratory where there is a timer counting down to its "unestablishment" and a hub that was conveniently unlocked for her to use for her laptop.

Inside this lab everything is green. Except for a tea set that she comes across, and further inside the lab is a pink bed and dresser and other girly things. It looks like a little girls room inside the lab.

Remember that?

Take a moment to remember.

**KALYN**

mspaintadventures(dot)com/?s=6&p=002805 Here's the link, just in case.

**KALYN**

Now. Think back to very recent updates. We were just about to get out of that obnoxious Doc Scratch green-skinned narrative. Scratch is on a vessel, and of course the interior is green. We meet Aradia's ancestor, and we see the room that Scratch gave her, as if she was his own spoiled daughter. Remember how that room looked? There was a bed and a tea set.

I don't feel like finding the link for this one, but I'm sure it won't be difficult to track down.

I suppose it would make sense that Doc Scratch was working most directly through Rose, which is why he spoke to her directly rather often. He admired her, in a way, and I think he left that hub unlocked just for her. She was his primary tool in instigating the whole game.

**KALYN**

There are other small links between Rose and Aradia's ancestor. Like when Rose is caught in Strife with Mom and she sticks her needles into an electrical outlet (the power's out at the time) and it says "Empty Suicide Threat!" and then when Aradia's ancestor is all pissed off at Scratch and she sticks her hair needles into an outlet and it says "Actual Suicide Threat!"

**KALYN**

Also, never addressed again is John's peanut allergy. I totally forgot about that. And how Dave, when you first meet him and don't really know his character all that well, tends to freak out a little bit and seem very uncool. But then once he's entered the medium and stuff we promptly forget about how uncool he once was and he is suddenly our favorite character. I forgot he was an amateur photographer.

**KALYN**

Oh, hey, remember that hideous game trophy that Jade hates that was in the way of that transportalizer in her house? Looked like a giant green worm with a white sheet over its head. Yeah, that's Typheus, John's denizen. So apparently it's already been slain there. I think Jade's grandpa took that thing home along with her dead dream self, somehow back in time and stuff. Yeah...

**KALYN**

It also appears Jade's grandpa has slain at least one large enemy from each of the medium worlds. And, for some reason, the fireplace is half gold (Prospit) and half purple (Derse). Can't imagine why...probably the whole adventurer thing, he's been to both worlds and brought back a piece of each.

**KALYN**

I don't know if this has already been clearly established, but judging by the appearifier Rose discovered in that lab and the fact that it was fixed on Jaspers from a moment in the past and would not move from that target, I think Jaspers was part of the genetic code for Bec. Rose at least made a mutated paradox clone fetus of Jaspers.

**KALYN**

She made the clone from a specific moment just before he disappeared, and then he was appearified away (but not by her), and then Jaspers washed up dead later. It's like...he was taken away because he had then served some purpose and was no longer needed, ie: she got his slimey paradox genetic material.

The question remains: Who appearified Jasper?

If not Bec, then at least that Mutant kitten she found.

**KALYN**

And wow I totally missed that pink horseshoe icon the first time I read this with the whole sequence when Rose is riding Maplehoof and there are flashes of poorly-drawn pictures of her and Maplehoof, and then one of a cowboy John leaning up against his own noble steed (the pogo ride)

I can now understand any western genre Homestuck fanfiction.

**KALYN**

Jade has a contraption of her grandpa's in her room that she tinkers with but has never gotten to work, unlike all her other gadgets. It's Jack Noir's fourth wall, which was stolen long ago. Most likely by Jade's grandpa, since he has about a thousand other souvenirs from this adventurous game.

We see John's sleeping dream self for the first time, and there is that freaking clown imp doll that Gamzee stuck in there.

Everything is so planned out. Wow.

During John's Christmas of item combining, he tries to combine a hammer and the Problem Sleuth game, but it's crazy expensive and he can't make whatever that combination yields. "Yet." I wonder if we'll find out later...

**KALYN**

Apparently I missed this the first time, because Morgan already knew, but the Midnight Crew and the Felt are all on Alternia (presumably far in the future. probably 413 years in the future.) and I guess they were like the Wanderers for the trolls or something. I knew Karkat had some connection to Spades Slick (I assumed it was Jack Noir though...wait, it totally was. yeah.) but I didn't think about it being like the Wanderers for the kids. Anyway, this rambling isn't going anywhere at the moment, so...

**KALYN**

TG: i should probably text him soon

TG: see whats up

TG: because

TG: i love him

TT: I know.

KALYN

3

I know it's overdone and read into a lot. But I don't care.

**KALYN**

How the hell did Jade's grandpa even get into the medium? He was dead when they started playing the game. I don't know exactly when he died, but I think his timeline goes from the medium and then to earth to raise Jade, and he dies sometime during her childhood. Because he already has the monster trophies from the medium and they're at Jade's house. Also her dead dream self.

Like I get the whole story like he was raised by Betty Crocker with John's Nana and then he left to go explore and adventurize, presumably in the medium. Just...how did he get there?

**KALYN**

Who was Rose's exile? Was it WQ? Because the text was really flowery and seemed all pretentious-sounding and we never saw her speaking directly to Rose.

Rose, according to Jaspersprite, must "learn how to play the rain" when she wakes up. Like a song...that makes letters...

Seems like it alludes to the codes she wrote on the walls, which we know for sure went into Bec's genetic makeup.

Why does Noir get all pissy at everyone in the universe instead of just the Black Queen? She was the one he really hated.

...Did the ring corrupt him?

lol LotR reference.

And I just watched that anniversary video, and I don't think it's the denizens that the guardians are fighting, because the kids have icon pictures of the denizens for their web browsers. I think their fighting just really large foes in each world in the video.

Also, I was put under the impression that Jade's grandpa was the one who killed and took home Typheus.

**KALYN**

Here's something to confuse your organization: the kids that each exile spoke to was dependent upon the 413-year-old meteor sites that they each came upon. Here: the meteor that struck John's house had a mechanical apple tree with an apple-like station 413 years after the impact (remember that was John's freebie item to get him in the medium?), and this site was the one that PM found. She talks to Jade, and Jade was John's client player. WV came upon a wine bottle place where the cork was the station that he found the screens controlling John in, and this was the site of Rose's house before the meteor struck and she obviously had a wine bottle to smash. John was her server player.

**KALYN**

Dave's item was an egg, and WQ came in an egg to the spot where all the exiles met. I speculated earlier that WQ was Rose's exile, which follows the pattern. This would make AR Dave's exile, but I don't remember them ever corresponding. It does make a bit of sense though, since AR was hiding out in the ruins right by Jade's house.

**KALYN**

The point is that they each have those screens that allow them to interact with and partially control the kids that they can (and none of the others) because that is where whoever was able to control that kid (as a server player) before had resided. Then a meteor struck and, like fucking Narnia, whatever special item was born there grew up to be a huge mechanical version of itself with the server-player-like screens and escape pods. So there.

I hope you don't feel obligated to have opinions on all of this. Just a nice response would be great, something so I know I'm not just talking to air.

Because all of this drabble has an inevitable destination.

**KALYN**

Following all the logic thus far, and given that Spades Slick was Karkat's sort of exile advisor, then wherever the Felt hideout was (where Slick found the screen to talk to Karkat) was wherever Karkat's server player had lived. I don't remember who that was, but I'm sure I'll get some memory refresher, and maybe it'll shed some light on the Felt, or not, depending. It would just be interesting to know.

…

I just fucking realized that a lot of the things I said here were explained in the first recap, which I am rereading right now. They just make more sense to me now.

Rose would "need to learn to play the rain to produce the musical analogue of a genetic code to reintroduce life into the ocean." Did that happen? I don't remember if it did or not. I associate her more with the abominations on the edge of the universe now.

...it's weird to me that Cal has a dream self. Do you think there's significance in that beyond him being a creepy ass puppet who can talk to some people?

Although I guess it makes some sense that Dave's dream self was already awake when you see that what's scrawled on his walls is stuff that he already had an interest in, nothing mysterious or that he had a deep-seeded hatred for. It's just Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

**KALYN**

Hey I don't know if I said this before, but I know I talked to Morgan about it last night. Whenever John and Dave are talking to each other, they rag on each other a lot. Like they make fun of what each other likes. (Except for their birthday letters to each other, they were pretty sweet.) And when John talks about Dave (to anybody or even just to himself) he always calls him a jackass or something along those lines (and usually more descriptive). When Dave talked to Rose about John, all he really had to say was "I love him," to which Rose responded, "I know."

Which you know Rose is constantly implying Dave's a homosexual, and that can be chalked up to her sarcastic musings as a psychoanalyst.

**KALYN**

But then when you think about how John and Dave want to appear to each other, John never hides anything about himself. To anyone, really, except maybe Rose because she makes him feel weird with her analyses and he doesn't like her prodding his subconscious. But even then, he doesn't really try to hide anything. Dave doesn't hide anything from Rose at all, he's pretty open about how creepy he thinks puppets are and stuff to her, but to John he insists that he likes them and does everything he can to seem like he never loses his cool (when he does pretty often at the beginning of the game). To Jade Dave doesn't really say much about himself at all. He sends her music, she praises him for being cool, he agrees and tells her off when she's sleeping and talking to him.

I just find it interesting how insecure Dave is, especially compared to John, and how he feels like he needs to appear sure of himself for John.

There's a lot of transportalizing going on. Maplehoof followed Mom into a transportalizer on LoLaR, Dad followed Jade's Grandpa into a transportalizer on LoWaS, AR? followed Lil Cal into a transportalizer on Derse...

Then John and the mutant kitten transportalize into the same transportalizer that Maplehoof and Mom just disappeared through, and it leads him to the ectobiology lab in the veil.

Look at me, recapping. I bet it's either frustratingly redundant or a nice refresher course.

At this lab, he finds everything that transportalized before except for the guardians and AR?, including Sassacre's text from Jade's grandpa and a dirty hat from Dad.

And the chess piece monsters.

Wonder who made the ectobiology lab suit he finds at the scene. Has a little slimer icon on it. It must've been made for him, because it was alluded to and then the thought was laughed at, and that has been a consistent giveaway in every similar case.

Most likely one of the guardians, but I'd like to know.

Found AR?. He took Bro's rocket board (which Lil Cal was riding) and is doing stunts all over the veil. Stupid recaps. Me. Recapping. Feel free to angst at me.

Hm, another overly expensive alchemizable thing that we don't know what it is (yet?) is the combination of a broken sword and a frog-looking thing called "ruby contraband" from FutureDave.

Oh yeah, he previews it. It makes a red sword with a frog face on it.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, ok, let's try and cover all of this.

Dave's insecurities I always sort of suspected/knew it. Also, I have wondered if Dave was in fact gay, and had feelings for John. Although I wonder if it's going to turn out that he's homosexual, because that could prove to be a hitch in Karkat's shipping chart AND any sort of procreation they may attempt (guh, I dint think any of them really want to think about that when they're only 13). So dave may turn out to be bi, or there relationship may turn out to be like Gamz and Kar's.

**JESSICA**

There does seem to be a similarity between their relationships. Kar is not very sure of himself (obviously) and Gamzee is quite sure of himself.

And back to Daves sexuality, John could just be his "best bro" and Dave could live him that way. There doesn't have to be anything sexual about it.

I never really thought about Lil Cal having a dream self, nut he certainly does. He's also a time traveling wizard if you remember. He hangs out with Andrew Hussie. He's just a busy puppet!

And I don't really mind the refresher at all. I might reread it with Lizzy too, but hey! You can bring up points we've both forgot or paid no mind to the first time.

**KALYN**

:D

:DD

:DDDDD

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

You answered!

...

:

But yeah, I agree with all of that.

**KALYN**

So today on my way back to the dorm I passed by a couple of guys talking about "Drinking some mad apple juice" and how "apple juice is the shit!" and I thought of Dave.

**KALYN**

Okay. John is in the ectobiology lab and finds a machine with four monitors fixed on various points on earth at certain times. First one we see is the Betty Crocker factory. "Whoever was in this lab last must have calibrated the machine." This was the guardians. I like how they seem to be aware of what is going on and are playing their part to complete the paradox.

I guess it was fixed on John's grandma, who just happened to be at that factory, but still. A meteor landed there, and then John paradoxified his grandma.

Twas Jade's meteor. I think the rest of them we already know and stuff. And also how she got that bunny she's holding in the next monitor.

Rose's meteor lands in a lake and it says "no aquatic life would survive." Coincidence that her denizen is the reason there is no aquatic life on her world in the medium?

How the hell did Jade's grandpa get that fucking space ship? It's like...a pirate ship! But in space!

I love how as soon as the Striders are fucking born, they're doing extreme stuff. Bro broke one of the slime tubes and just climbed into it, and Dave's climbing up to the tubes to do something similar.

**JESSICA**

I keep thinking of buckets and trolls. It's a problem, hahaha. It seems like the guardians always knew, and they have been training the kids since they were little. It's sort of like the troll society, only miniaturized, you know?

**KALYN**

EB: you can tell me i look like a silly little paradox clone fresh out of my slime tube and this is just all a big nurseytime recess jamboree.

EB: that would burn me good!

CG: OK THAT IS PRETTY GOOD.

CG: BUT I CAN'T USE IT, BECAUSE YOU SAID IT, AND THEN LATER, I.E. RIGHT NOW, YOU WOULD GET THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING YOU WERE THE ONE TO COME UP WITH THAT BURN.

CG: SEE, YOU ARE DEALING WITH A PRO, YOU CAN'T OUT TROLL ME SO JUST FORGET ABOUT IT AND STOP TRYING.

EB: (hehehehehehehehehehehe)

John does that (hehehe) thing after he just pranked someone. Did Karkat end up using this? I just read it a few days ago and I don't remember...D:

**JESSICA**

i...

i haven't a clue

i don't think he ever uses it that

do you remember him using it?

**KALYN**

It would have been when John's riding the red rocket to his doom...I don't remember him using it though

**JESSICA**

the red rocket to his doom? because he definitely did that

well, almost. he was flying out into the middle of space on a red rocket-skate board

**KALYN**

Well here's the bit just preceding that copy/pasted section up there:

EB: and then after that you can keep going backwards and then make fun of me riding my little red rocket.

**JESSICA**

hmmm...

i don't know, i'm too tired to think too much

sorry

**KALYN**

mspaintadventures(dot)com/?s=6&p=003806

Why do you think that carapace is in that tube there?

**JESSICA**

other than because it is being created?

if you remember, that is how they were making the soldiers, so maybe he was just another soldier?

**KALYN**

oh okay. forgot that ness then.

**JESSICA**

not to say that there couldn't be something important to do with him. rarely does something not connect in more than one way. Blah, sentence structure not my friend x.X

**KALYN**

No no, I got that. Syntax makes little difference to me in sentence comprehension. XD

**JESSICA**

hahaha

**KALYN**

Hmmm...Jade's grandpa landed on a dog named HALLEY and Colonel Sanders (or Sassacre, whateverthefuck-he looks like Mark Twain!) is all upset and says he would rather die than lose the dog. And then Jade's grandpa shoots him.

But anyway, I wonder if the dog has anything to do with anything, since it was given a name.

**JESSICA**

other than Halley's comet?

**KALYN**

...is that in this comic? I mean I don't see why not, but...

**JESSICA**

I don't know if it is supposed to be anything other than an allusion to the famous Halley's comet

**KALYN**

Just as I suspected (or remembered, probably)...

She was used for Bec's genetic sequence.

Oh and Jade's grandpa pronounces the dog's name "Harley"

**JESSICA**

yeah

which is where their last name came from

**KALYN**

yep

and when he leaves for adventure at the ripe age of thirteen, the dog is then called "his guardian"

**KALYN**

TG: man dont remind me about that

TG: so embarrassing

GC: 1TS OK 1 WONT T3LL JOHN 4BOUT 1T

GC: 1 KNOW TH4TS WH4T YOUR3 WORR13D 4BOUT

TG: ok cool

**KALYN**

again with this sort of thing

**JESSICA**

i forgot about that

**KALYN**

GC: YOU SHOULDNT B3 SC4R3D

TG: why would i be scared

GC: D4V3 PL34S3

GC: YOU 4R3 CRY1NG L1K3 4 L1TTL3 BOY

GC: 1TS 1S H4PP3N1NG R1GHT H3R3 1N FRONT OF MY NOS3

GC: YOUR T34RS T4ST3 D3L1C1OUS

**KALYN**

This is probably actually happening. She seems to be pretty straight with him all the time.

**JESSICA**

yeah, but he played it off as being caused by onions

**KALYN**

...Not in this conversation.

She just said they taste like a troll delicacy called cotton candy, and he said they have cotton candy "dumpass"

**JESSICA**

well, in that conversation it hadn't happened yet

**KALYN**

lolwhut

**JESSICA**

teehee

forgot about that XD

**KALYN**

Let me just take a moment to say: Bro is such a BAMF. Riding a meteor and then squaring off with Bec Noir right away and surviving? GOD I LOVE STRIDERS!

**JESSICA**

**KALYN**

I like how WV is the only one left in the crowd that Noir completely fucking mutilated, and then he finds that stuffed clown and rips its head off. (BTW, I meant Jack Noir before. He wasn't Bec Noir yet.)

**JESSICA**

"Noir completely fucking mutilated"?

what?

**KALYN**

Yeah he goes berserk after he gets that ring and just starts killing the entire crowd. WV is the only one left standing because a chess monster steps in at the last minute. But WV was the one who had united both sides against Jack to begin with.

**JESSICA**

yeah….

**KALYN**

and PM is a total badass. She offed HB and stole his walkie-talkie to get Noir and the package for John, then she found John and just shoved it to him and walked away angrily. She's awesome.

**JESSICA**

I know, I love her so much! She deserves to be the new monarch

**KALYN**

Totally.

Okay I'm at the part with Jade's penpal's letter.

Still a bit ambiguous as to who it is.

But it's written in green.

And if it's anyone we know, then it was written at a time before they met John (obviously)...

**JESSICA**

but a different shade from Jade's

**KALYN**

I thought maybe it could have been Nepeta for a second, but it totally isn't her style of speaking.

It sounds like a guy.

**JESSICA**

yeah, i think he even said that he was a guy

maybe

but i always thought it was a guy

**KALYN**

It actually...it sounds a lot like John...

Except whoever it is wants to wrestle with John when they meet...

**JESSICA**

yeah, no matter what it's a guy

yup

**KALYN**

"Okay i had to do quite a lot of arm twisting to get her to go along with helping me make such an oddball present for you and so well in advance. But i had my arm sort of twisted myself to get this going in the first place."

Ambiguous...

Okay, either it's someone who is totally from the future, or someone...no, I'm almost sure they're from the future.

This could actually maybe be John from the future...

**JESSICA**

yeah, i've all ready figured he was

wait

not the john

but that this person is from the future

**KALYN**

Yeah, this person doesn't sound exactly like anyone that we've met (or anyone who we've met who talked)...

Really lively

kind of excitable

But not exactly like John or like Dave or any of the trolls

I mean, who says "fisticuffs"?

**JESSICA**

...

i would if i had a reason to

but i rarely do

**KALYN**

OH MY GOD I THINK I JUST GOT AN IDEA

**JESSICA**

v.v

?

**KALYN**

Just hold on for one second

Okay. Think about this.

Green text, like Jade's

And I was talking about this before

but

Okay, just wait for it.

This'll blow your mind.

We don't know where Jade's grandpa went when he turned 13.

But somewhere between then and SBURB, he managed to go adventuring and acquire a fucking space fleet.

**JESSICA**

holy crap!

**KALYN**

He's been everywhere, and his timeline never made total sense to me.

And he knows Jade. He trusts her. His SHIP is called JADE

**JESSICA**

so you think he's now in the future?

or he was in the future?

**KALYN**

HE COULD BE FUCKING ANYWHERE.

**JESSICA**

:O

mind blown!

**KALYN**

HE'S JADES GRANDPA!

**JESSICA**

holy moly!

**KALYN**

And how I just said he sounds like John?

He's practically his biological father!

**JESSICA**

they're related

yeah!

james just said he suspected that too

ok

i'm off to bed

**KALYN**

K! Tell James...mleh!

But yeah, it makes more and more sense when I think about it.

But about his ship being called Jade, I'm pretty sure he went adventuring, then into the medium, then went back in time and found baby Jade, because he died when she was very young. So this would make some sense, and also explain why he would know so much about this stuff.

**JESSICA**

It would. The only hitch naysayers would have is his age. He and Nanna were getting on in years by the time the little rascals came along. However, your theory is amazing. My mind is blown. I can't wait for the reveal

Also, James has never told me this theory before, so either he's been keeping it under wraps, or he only thought of it recently as well.

**KALYN**

That hitch is explained by me saying that he found Jade AFTER his adventure in the medium, and maybe rode a meteor back in time to earth. Or, he has a fucking space fleet, so that could easily take him through one of the gateways during the reckoning. After he turns 13, he meets Jade and befriends her (through time shenanigans), grows older, goes into the medium with his space fleet (named after his penpal), brings Jade's dead dream self and all of his trophies (including Typheus!) back to earth through one of the gates, gets baby Jade from the meteor, raises her, dies during her childhood, is stuffed. Tada!

**KALYN**

See I'm at the part where John just woke up and and got that cyborg rabbit, which scared of Noir. Then Grandpa landed his battleship on the ground (dropping off Mom and Dad) and then collected Jade's dead dream self. I'm guessing he was able to get out of the medium during the reckoning and back to earth so he could avoid the BecNoir-caused fate that all the other guardians faced.

Alright! Recap number two! I seem to retain all of this a lot better when I space it out a bit instead of trying to read it all nonstop at once...

But hey, at least I think we solved a mystery that we've been pondering since we started this thing!

* * *

><p>I'm curious to know how many people had already come to this conclusion. If it's a lot, I wouldn't be surprised because I'm often slow on the uptake, but if anyone hadn't thought of this yet and see the merit in this theory, then that would just be awesome. I'm pretty proud for coming to any sort of sensible conclusion on the matter (finally) no matter what, so go ahead and call me a dumbass, because I already know that! XD<p> 


	17. Drawing Parallels

These are getting really fucking long! I have a bunch to still put up tonight. Is anyone even interested in this anymore? Seriously, let me know if you just don't give a fuck. Or, you know, you could not read it. I'll probably keep posting them anyway, since this has gotten to a point where I'm obsessive/compulsive about copy/pasting these stupid conversations and putting them up here. But whatever. Some things are said during our fun times rereading the story, and I don't feel like fixing the links. Mostly mspaintadventures anyway, and there's a couple deviantart things. I might fix those though, just so whoever we linked can have some credit for the vague and minimal things we had to say about their work. Anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

...Do we know who made the frog temples? Any of them? I suppose the original one would be in the veil on that meteor, and then it ends up on Earth (or Alternia, in SGRUB)... So it rules out any guardians or ancestors. So who did make it? Who would want to make a temple for an illegal idol?

So if BabyDave went back in time with Maplehoof, whatever happened to that pony during his life?

Man, I never really thought about this very much (it's mostly irrelevant anyway) but think about how John would react if he found out he was related (mostly) to Betty Crocker AND Colonel Sassacre!

I like how it's never addressed that they're all flying around in space without spacesuits. Like, it's all good! Just flyin my rocket board through space! Don't need to breathe or anything!

"It was a stalemate, until bro plunged his sword into the large floating record platform they were fighting on. This released a mysterious energy from the cracks." Curious...I would be slightly um...annoyed?...if this had something to do (obscurely) with the Scratch.

"The gift was the pen pal's idea, and he himself was coerced into the plan by someone else." So I wonder who coerced him? There are all kinds of weapons from across the board in that box, and one of them was once Gamzee's and I think another was Dave's once (MAYbe)...

Actually there are weapon types from each kid. Wands, broken sword (presumably d

Dave's, I don't know who else has a broken sword)

a rifle (most likely Jade's or...does anyone else use a rifle?) and then that Warhammer of Zillyhoo. Which was Gamzee's. Hm...

And now I'm in Hivebent.

There is so much about Karkat that I forgot! Many of his interests are just kind of forgotten in all of this game!

**KALYN**

Like he aspires to be a TRESHECUTIONER (good luck with that one Kar! If your family history persists, you'll end up on the other side of it!) and he practices with his sickle a lot in his room and he watches ROMCOMs without being ashamed-he seemed like he could be so happy-go-lucky with this description!

**JESSICA**

If i remember the rifle was Eridan's at one point too, but it was trash, so he didn't want it any more even though it was legendary. So, there are two legendary weapons from the trolls.

**KALYN**

Yeah, and didn't Kanaya give Eridan some science wands? So the wands of Echidna could have come from her (and it would make sense given that Echidna was like her denizen)

**JESSICA**

Yeah

I forgot about how Grandpa killed Typheus, or at least stuffed him

this all makes sense

**KALYN**

RIGHT?

**JESSICA**

Gah! So many time paradoxes!

**KALYN**

Dude, second time through, everything makes so much more sense. O_O

**JESSICA**

hahah, i guess that was bound to happen

**KALYN**

"It's almost as if your people have placed great cultural importance on teaching children to become architecturally adept while very young. It has been this way since ancient times. No one seems to know why that is." It's because Doc Scratch implemented a society that prepares trolls for the game!

**JESSICA**

Yeah, i remembered that when Doc Scratch was talking about it

**KALYN**

I know. I just got to it at the beginning of Hivebent and it makes sense now. So many things that I thought were possibly irrelevant... I'll be sure to take more notes, lol

**KALYN**

"foretells of a BAND OF ROWDY AND CAPRICIOUS MINSTRELS which will rise one day on a MYTHICAL PARADISE PLANET that does not exist yet." I'm pretty sure Gamzee's religion just foretells the existence of ICP on Earth. Nothing to do with anything else really, just sort of a subplot that manages to leak into the rest of the universe after he grudgingly stuck that clown in DreamJohn's room.

**JESSICA**

i told you this before, just so you know

**KALYN**

I know, but the last time I tried to analyze his religion, I thought it was something else. I'm kind of going back on what I said before. For my benefit. And I guess anyone who manages to read this and benefit from it.

**KALYN**

TA: iim 2ett1ng up two team2.

Tell me what's wrong with this.

…Jess?

**JESSICA**

Yello

the 1?

he said "two"

why?

**KALYN**

Yes, the 1.

**JESSICA**

ok

**KALYN**

It was a typo.

or something

A mistake

**JESSICA**

ok

that's not normally how he talks, for sure

**KALYN**

How come you can see galaxies in Sollux's glasses? It's happened more than once...

**JESSICA**

i don't know if that's been explained yet

or if it will be

well

he's a seer of some sort, isn't he?

or he will be

**KALYN**

I know he can hear voices when he goes to sleep...or maybe all the time. probably.

Sollux has scrawlings on his walls. Of runes and turtles and frogs. So, y'know...whatever that's worth.

**JESSICA**

yeah

worth something anyway

**KALYN**

He's bipolar, I totally forgot about that. I mean, it seems to make sense and he sort of gets pissy sometimes, but he never seemed truly bipolar to me. Like...never totally upset or totally ecstatic. Just sorta moody.

**JESSICA**

yeah

but how bipolar is he really?

**KALYN**

What do you mean?

**JESSICA**

i don't know, moody doesn't mean bipolar, you know?

i wonder if that was just something AH mentioned but didn't really follow through with it

although we didn't see a whole lot of him to compare

**KALYN**

Yeah, basically he has moments when he doesn't want to talk to anyone and is all pissy and stuff, and then he changes his mind. But he usually seemed really level compared to like...Karkat or Gamzee for example. Most of the trolls, actually.

And he has telefuckingkinesis.

How did I forget about that?

Gawd, all you trolls just have to be SO FUCKING SPECIAL

**JESSICA**

hahaha

i forgot about the telekinesis too

all i really remembered was the mind honey

ya know?

**KALYN**

Yeah, I didn't realize that the mind honey...well it seems to have wires connecting it to some stuff, so is it like his power source?

**JESSICA**

i think it's more like his hard drive

but it could be the power source for his computers too

**KALYN**

"BEEHOUSE MAINFRAMES" yep

Dude...

**JESSICA**

dude?

**KALYN**

MindHoney/Sollux has like...an inverse relationship to SoporSlime/Gamzee...

like... an opposite analogy...

**JESSICA**

hmmm

didn't think about that

**KALYN**

It's most likely irrelevant anyway, but I was just looking at the shiny, colorful mind honey and I thought of that slimey slime that Gamzee's always all up baking and shit like a motherfucker

**JESSICA**

haha

**KALYN**

From the start of each, there were some parallels drawn between Sollux and Dave. They're quite similar.

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

Not just the shades, but the way they're introduced and the narrative style. There are a lot of allusions in Sollux's intro to things in Dave's intro.

**JESSICA**

i know

**KALYN**

And the game thing, they both love games.

And both their rooms are full of wires.

And the shades.

lol

**JESSICA**

brb

i'm back!

**KALYN**

Still on? Awesome

Or maybe you're not

**JESSICA**

Sorry, off and on

What should I draw?

**KALYN**

Draw? Um...

You could take a stab at my foursome of characters...if you wanted

Morgan's been drawing them lately.

**JESSICA**

Hmmm... Maybe, I attempted a KarkatxJohn thing, complete with bucket... But I still can't do it x.x...

**KALYN**

Okay so there's an ob-LOLOLOLOL

Anyway, there's an obscure virus on Sollux's computer

That he downloaded off an obscure server far away

And it has a bunch of Billiards balls flashing next to it

And he tries to delete it after Karkat launches that doom virus that Sollux sent him

But he finds it's already running somewhere in the universe

And is set to do its thing billions of years in the future

After the death of the universe

...I never realized that Lord English's entry into the universe was somehow on Sollux's computer.

**JESSICA**

Hmmmm, same. Everything is so damn convoluted!

**KALYN**

lol, it says it will summon an indestructible demon. Great. A DEMON. Yay.

**JESSICA**

Lord English was never portrayed as a good guy.

**KALYN**

"Sollux couldn't know that the virus is essentially a formality.

The demon is already here."

**JESSICA**

Admittedly, that was through Slick's eyes, but still...

**KALYN**

...

Spooky.

**JESSICA**

Mmmm, yeah

**KALYN**

More parallels between Sollux and Dave: They both live in communal living buildings (apartments...) and they duel their guardians on the roof.

I feel weird because I never noticed this before.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I never thought of it...

Who else have similarities?

Kar and John like movies thought to be terrible by their peers/sicieties

*societies

**KALYN**

Rose knits and Kanaya is into fashion design

Speaking of Kanaya

The first time we see her

Where the fuck is she?

Here:

**KALYN**

/?s=6&p=003999

**JESSICA**

But otherwise they're pretty different. John is confident while Kar isn't really

**KALYN**

True. And Sollux is in no denial about any of his flaws.

Actually he beats himself up half the time.

You know,

**JESSICA**

That sounded like a fucking cannon O.O

**KALYN**

since he's "bipolar"

?

Thunderstorm?

What's going on?

Meteors?

Oh God, it's meteors isn't it.

Wait!

I DIDN'T GET MY BETA YET!

**JESSICA**

I don't know what it was, and this fuckin iPod didn't show those messages when you sent them. I apologize

**KALYN**

:O

**JESSICA**

So I'll continue in the morning, unless you can tell me something I can/have any drive to draw, I'm going to bed

**KALYN**

bucket bucket bucket

**JESSICA**

Lovely sentence!

**KALYN**

bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket

**JESSICA**

Haha, mmmm I'll try again

**KALYN**

bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket

**KALYN**

But yeah, I'm really tired. Bed time for me. Love you!

**JESSICA**

Love you to! Give Morgan my live too

Geh! You know what I mean =_=

**KALYN**

/?s=6&p=004022 THIS is why Vriska asked Kanaya to make that dress for her...

**KALYN**

Also, Tavros and Gamzee were kind of meant for each other I think. Because before Gamzee splashed some like...magic dust or someshit in his face after he said some prayer about getting his laptop from his sylladex. Then Tavros said he hoped for Pupa Pan to come into his room and splash his face with magic fairy dust or something like that.

**KALYN**

Well Tavros, Gamzee has the dust!

Wonder how Aradia got that laptop. With that one guy on it...y'know, "who's this douchebag"?

Yeah, wonder how she got that.

It says she found it on one of her archaeological digs, but I wonder how it got there.

...Didn't Slick have that computer before? I wanna say maybe he did.

Oh I just remembered that I wanted to know whoever Karkat's server player was because of where Slick found the screen in the felt's like...cellar thing.

It was Terezi.

So, yeah. I don't really know if it says much.

Sollux is like fucking Cyclops from X-Men when he eats the mind honey!

**KALYN**

Dude, I just remembered

Okay, I'm at the part where we see Tavros' accident, and Vriska convinces him to try to fly off a cliff and stuff

But remember when we see his ancestor? Like...the first time (maybe the only time) we see him, he's fucking flying.

Just throwin that out there.

Wow. Karkat's an asshole.

I mean we already knew that, but...no, I mean how could he have known what Tavros meant by "aG just jumped me off a cliff"?

**KALYN**

/?s=6&p=004079

The musclebeast in the poster on the far right appears to be dominating what looks like Tavros in a Pupa Pan costume.

**KALYN**

What was Aradia's lusus?

It died long before all the others.

She didn't prototype the sprite with it.

Because it was already all decomposed and stuff.

**JESSICA**

H'ok. The whole dust thing makes sense. I didn't even think about it again afterwards (probably because neither brought it up again). The laptop (Mr. Bing Cosby if I remember correctly)...

If I remember correctly, that was one of the things that made me wonder if the kids actually came first, you know, in an infinite loop sort of a thing

Bing Cosby is from the kids world and it doesn't say Troll Bing Cosby or anything.

Slick might have had it, but he didn't know why or how to use it, right?

**JESSICA**

He just had it.

So if Tav's ancestor is flying the one time we see him, then would it not make a little more sense for Tav to jump off a cliff in an attempt to fly (like his ancestor was supposed to?) That just seems to prove that it made sense for Tav to jump.

Karkat being an "asshole" ...

What would you have assumed?

Vriska is a psychobitch with mind control power

s

Tavros then tells you she made him "jump off a cliff"

I think that is pretty straight forward

isn't it?

And thank you very much for making me look at that glorious picture of musclebeast "dominating" pupa pan =_=

i'm going to go wash my eyes out with bleach, thank you

But what does it mean? I don't know, what sort of relationship do they have again? He has muddy mustardy blood, so Equius wouldn't really want anything to do with him.

Anyway, Aradia's lusus. It was a thing with sheep

's horns

like hers

It wasn't a dragon, but it was big...

I'm not entirely sure

BACK TO YOU!

**KALYN**

Kanaya's computer is just like Jade's, with the floating keyboard and it's in a lunchbox.

**JESSICA**

Makes sense, since they have basically the same role

**KALYN**

Man, Vriska and all of her "irons in the fire" with her doomsday devices, and her two-timing plots, and her psychic abilities and her magic cue balls and 8 balls and dice, and her hormones, and her ancestor's diary, and her extreme roleplaying, and her SGRUB, and her treasure hunting, and her bad luck, and her correspondence with Doc Scratch, and her meddlesomeness, and her ex-relationships, and her God Tier, and her robotic arm, and her ...

high-maintenence lusus

**JESSICA**

deep breath

your point?

**KALYN**

She's just always talking about all her "irons in the fire", I thought I'd channel some YGOTAS Grandpa to illustrate it.

I like how each troll aspires to be part of some class.

Ruffianihilators, cavalreapers, threshecutioners, etc.

**JESSICA**

yeah

They have to be useful to survive though

Which is why they need to have their red and black quadrants filled as well

the useless are culled

**JESSICA**

Determined and forceful

Emotional and intuitive

Powerful and passionate

Exciting and magnetic

On the dark side...

Jealous and resentful

Compulsive and obsessive

Secretive and obstinate

**JESSICA**

(Scorpio traits)

**KALYN**

Woah!

**KALYN**

/?s=6&p=004138

**KALYN**

It's so weird seeing Terezi's eyes!

**JESSICA**

Is that what you were going "Woah!"

over, or was it Vriska's friend that was watching them but doesn't really like her either?

**KALYN**

Oh you just said what I was about to paste in here. Okay, nevermind that then. 1) Terezi's eyes. 2) Was Vriska's "friend" Doc Scratch? It makes a bit of sense.

**JESSICA**

That was my first reaction, but i'm trying to think who else it could have been

Eridan had a deal with her too, didn't he? While they were gaming?

**KALYN**

No it was Scratch. Few pages later proves that.

**JESSICA**

Oh, ok

**KALYN**

I like how Vriska is able to control Sollux about "half the time"...probably corresponding with his bipolar mood swings.

**JESSICA**

yeah

**JESSICA**

LIKES

Truth

Hidden Causes

Being involved

Work That is Meaningful

Being Persuasive

DISLIKES

Being Given Only Surface data

Taken Advantage of

Demeaning Jobs

Shallow Relationships

Flattery and Flattering

**JESSICA**

that is from the same website as before. It seems to fit Vriska pretty well too. Like I said, sorry if you all ready covered this, but I was researching this stuff for personal reasons (and by personal reasons I mean for fun) and I just thought this fit her well too. There's even more on that site about scorpio's too.

**JESSICA**

there's the site

**KALYN**

So if Doc Scratch lived on Alternia's green sun, was there anyone living on the magenta sun?

moon* lol

**JESSICA**

Lord English? Naw, I don't know, but it's more than possible. However, I don't think anything has been mentioned.

**KALYN**

So it seems that Nepeta's shipping wall was initially more accurate than I would have expected. XD

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004195

**KALYN**

Why do you think he chose frogs and reptiles and amphibians to be the detested creatures in SBURB?

**KALYN**

BILIUS SLICK is I think the name of...some really important frog. Either the special frog for genetic decoding, or the frog universe, or something like that. I can see Spades Slick taking on this name as some sort of weird homage or something. I thought it sounded strangely familiar, like it was a reference to something, but every single Google search result is about Homestuck, so I guess not.

**KALYN**

The Black Queen (from the SGRUB session) was recruited by Doc Scratch after her banishment to become a member of the Felt. So, that's how that happened. Clearly there's an even deeper purpose for this, it's curious. Although I guess she would be quite useful for Lord English, maybe.

**JESSICA**

"Spades Slick" "Hate Slick" I never really wondered about his name (other than those four took one quadrant, or fit one quadrant best). But if it has something to do with a "hate" homage to Bilius Slick (since he is hardwired to hate frogs and whatnot)

What are the Felt? Spades Slick and his crew are the Black King and Queen's subjects. Are the Felt purely Lord English's crew? Doc Scratch was a guardian of Alternia, wasn't he? Maybe Lord English was one of the original guardians of Alternia during the ancestors time?

I just thought about something, so unless I've been reading things incorrectly (which is totally possible), the Troll ancestors played the game too, right?

**KALYN**

Good question...I'm not sure about LE being a guardian of any sort, he seems like just some...malevolent force or something, like he's sabotaging the game sessions for his own gain.

**JESSICA**

And if the players fail, the world is destroyed, right?

**KALYN**

They did for the first session, before it was scratched and they switched roles.

**JESSICA**

(this is going somewhere, by the way)

**KALYN**

Okay go on then.

**JESSICA**

So they scratched the session and were allowed to have it be replayed later?

**KALYN**

Yes. More or less.

**JESSICA**

Ok, I was just wondering, if their guardians had to do something for it.

Lord English created Doc Scratch, right?

**KALYN**

Sort of? Maybe? I think Doc Scratch was in a way born from the Scratch of the original session. But I think the reason it had to be scratched (besides the trolls being generally unprepared for the trials they had to face while playing) was they were being sabotaged in a way to fail. They were predestined (by the universe) to Scratch that session and bring about Doc Scratch, who would bring in Lord English during the scratched session. But Lord English... it's alluded to that this is merely his way of introducing himself into a universe. So I think he was planning this thing all along. The question is why. What would his motive be, if he has all this omnipotence and omniscience already?

**JESSICA**

To be a god? To be worshipped? I'm going to look back at the Doc Scratch conversations, because I'm pretty sure he mentioned Lord English creating him or something.

"Li'l Cal, I'm confused! Do I hate him or love him? But what about Feferi? I thought I really liked her. What is this I feel?"

hehehehehe, sorry that has nothing to do with Doc Scratch or Lord English, but I had to watch that again

Which made me think.

Vriska and Terezi have the same relationship (basically) as their ancestors did. Nepeta's ancestor also had feelings for the Sufferer (Could you say she was his Mary?) So, did the Sufferer and Gamzee's ancestor have a relationship too? I almost feel like something was mentioned, like he gave him a lighter sentence or something. I don't know, what are your thoughts on this? I'm going back to my Doc Scratch research.

**JESSICA**

When Jack/Slick first enters Doc's house, Doc seems uncertain about what to call Jack/Slick. If he's truly omniscient, he wouldn't be confused at all. So is that for our benefit (to let us know that Jack and Slick are the same person?)

**KALYN**

What...what was that quote about Feferi and Lil Cal? I don't know what that's from.

**JESSICA**

It's not a quote, that was just my immediate reaction to what Sollux was thinking about Gamzee.

**JESSICA**

"There's way too much to do and way too little time to get it done"

My horoscope is so fucking right today x.x I have to study for a test and read a couple chapters for human relations, but I'm not going to be able to concentrate today

**JESSICA**

Hey, I'm going to spam you real quick, but this is too amazing not to share: littlecritter35(dot)deviantart(dot)com/#/d3ikzn2

That is 100% hand crafted.

and here's something else she

's done: woodsplitterlee(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/Sculpted-Octopus-165891629

**KALYN**

What is that first thing made out of?

It's so cute!

**JESSICA**

Clay, fuzz, stuffing and "a posable body." They are both made of modeling clay that you can buy from wal-mart, actually (if you didn't read the octopu description)

**KALYN**

ROFL at the Sollux/Gamzee thing. What was his reaction? Like... Gamzee= /(s)! (which = spades, by the way, ha)

Yeah, Sculpey, Morgan totally wants to get into that, but we can't have toaster ovens in the dorms, lol

**JESSICA**

sad

**KALYN**

sad?

oh toaster ovens haha

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

I couldn't see what was sad. I just listened to Girls on Trampolines, and now I'm listening to Head Honcho

"It's the shape of a man on a motorcycle..."

**JESSICA**

maybe you guys could buy some that air dries for her to practice on?

**KALYN**

Well, we also would need something to mix it with, like a pasta machine. I think we'll wait until we can get an apartment or something.

Oh, back to Homestuck.

So I think I was going to say this before I left for class.

But I love how Kanaya loves like...crappy vampire novels and stuff like that.

Actually, there are so many similarities between her and Rose and Jade.

The flowers, the love of dark literature, fashion design.

**JESSICA**

especially Rose

well, it's evenly spread out isn't?

**KALYN**

Oh and she has a wardrobifier.

**JESSICA**

yeah, i forgot about that too

**KALYN**

Lol, Kanaya's a bit of a dork at the beginning. Only when she's on her own though. Like her fantasies about being a Rainbow Drinker, and trying blood while no one was looking and it being disgusting and all that. Good times. Silly.

**JESSICA**

i really wish she would show that side of herself more often! She is compassionate and understanding (since she usually is the mediator in clubs relationships). She's just not as dramatic as the others, so I forget about her

**KALYN**

CA: kan its hard

GA: What

CA: being a kid and growwing up

CA: its hard and nobody understands

D'awww... Poor Eridan...

**JESSICA**

who was he talking to?

ooh

nevermind

gothca

(hehehehehe, silly typo)

Who all is she a confidant for?

*confidante, rather

**KALYN**

Hmmm...Fef, Karkat, Tavros a little, Vriska in a way, Sollux I think, ummmmm... and Eridan here.

**JESSICA**

Kanaya is really great, huh? Like I said, I just never really think about her because she's not really focused on as much

Geez, your sim is so messy!

**KALYN**

lol

It's Hanna, what did you expect?

So...remember that special stardust? Vriska used it on Tavros. As part of her "seduce Tavros" plot, when she was all dressed up like that fairy on his computer.

I still think Gamzee is a better match here, since he had that stardust on his own rather than acquiring it for his own manipulative purposes. But yeah.

Why the fuck am I basing ships on stardust? I must be out of my mind...

"Because in case it wasn't clear, magic isn't real, and neither are miracles." Vriska's thoughts. Denouncing loves of both Tavros and Gamzee.

**JESSICA**

hahahahah, excellent question, but I didn't think there was anything odd about it XD

**KALYN**

Which question? Hanna or stardust? haha

Nevermind, I'm stupid.

**JESSICA**

I think, so long as Gamzee isn't psycho, he's actually a better match in general (he's grown on me *shrug*)

stardust

hehehehe

But back to Gamzee actually making sense: He isn't going to be dominating. If Karkat is there to chill him out if he does goes without his fix for too long again, it should be fine (...except Tavros is dead... )

Tavros is pretty happy with him though, isn't he? He trusted Vriska, but that's just because he *is* trusting. The only reason why he didn't talk to Vriska again was because he was told not to, not because he betrayed.

*felt betrayed

Oh, and I don't know if you've seen this, but the exiles live 413 years in the future. It says so in the album description.

**KALYN**

Yup, knew that one

**JESSICA**

Well aren't you special!

Here's a picture on devianart simply called "Homestuck" by leesers. It makes me laugh so much! .com/?qh§ion&global=1&q=homestuck#/d413214

(i figured I would mention the name and creater for anyone reading if they want to look it up since the link doesn't carry over)

**KALYN**

Karkat's mouth = epic win.

**JESSICA**

Yeah

Anyway, have we really talked about how Karkat and Jack Noir have the same color blood?

**KALYN**

I don't know if we have, but that is a true fact of canon.

Why Karkat sympathized him so much.

with^

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I wonder what relevance that has. How are they connected?

**KALYN**

Jack and Karkat? Well...Jack is Karkat's exile.

**JESSICA**

Are all of the (... do they have a name?) have the same color blood, or was it just Jack? I should probably check out the arc with him when they are going after the felt and whatnot

But that can't be all there is to it

**KALYN**

Umm...Jack thought it was weird that Karkat was the only member of his race with that color blood, when the color was so normal to him. So, I would assume it's a common blood color.

**JESSICA**

Welp, then I'm not going to look for it XD

But cool little note, I'm at the first page you can actually control (the one where John can run around) and he's being told what to do. You can tell him to play the piano again and it shows the sheet music for it!

**KALYN**

Oh yeah, I remember that. I listened the fuck outta that song.

**JESSICA**

Me too!

Actually I'm going back to the albums to listen to it again!

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004340

I know it usually means more with the kids, but there's a spade in this picture. And Feferi doesn't seem the hateful type.

**KALYN**

There's a heart on another horse though, so maybe she has horses with all four.

Feferi is the cutest freaking cowgirl ever.

**KALYN**

CC: I )(ave a fis)(y feeling...

CC: T)(at t)(is stupid doomsday mac)(ine t)(ing is just anot)(er excuse to consort!

CC: Wit)( someone in particular...

Feferi to Eridan. He claims to really want to be her matesprit, but she seems to think otherwise. Maybe he's been lying to himself.

**KALYN**

Wait, haha, no. I forgot that he wanted a kismesis with Vriska. It follows their ancestors a bit, based on popular theory.

**JESSICA**

ha! there is no "maybe" he's miserable from lying to himself all the time1

I love how her name is "cuttlefishculler" but she doesn't mean "cull" in the sense we do

**KALYN**

CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro.

This can only be Karkat. Which is great. Eridan even talked about how he and Karkat have Vriska (I think?) all figured out. Or maybe Karkat talked about how he and Eridan... anyway. Yeah. I wish we could see some of these gossip sessions.

**JESSICA**

no kidding! hmmm, do you remember what it was they figured out about Vriska (or whoever it was)?

**KALYN**

He was bragging about how emotionally stunted she is because she tries to hate too much, so there's no room for redrom, but there's also inadequate blackrom because she tries too hard.

**JESSICA**

hmmm... *Does* she have red feelings for anyone? And I do agree with their assessment of her black quadrant. She just makes enemies with too many people. Although the closest she's gotten to having a truly black relationship is with Terezi.

**KALYN**

Except Terezi doesn't feel that flushed for her.

She just thinks what she does is wrong and wants to bring her to justice.

I don't think Vriska ever had red feelings, except maybe for John.

Hm. I guess Feferi is enamored by Sollux because he was her server player and he saved her life by getting her into the medium. It's like...DID syndrome or something similar.

*Damsel In Distress

**JESSICA**

John and Nicolas Cage XD

And I wasn't saying Terezi felt flushed for her, but that she was waxing black for her. Who does Terezi really hate? She hated Gamzee when they were on the roof, but I think that was mostly for the same reason she doesn't like Vriska: he needs to be brought to justice. Although if she really did have black feelings for Vriska she never would have killed her, would she?

**JESSICA**

Squiddly-dee! Squiddly-doo! Everyone looooves a squiddly-song!

**KALYN**

I meant black. Does flushed mean red only? Whatever. I think Kismeses kind of need each other the way anyone in any relationship needs the other person, so no. I don't think Terezi would have killed Vriska if her feelings were that strong.

By the way I have the Squiddles soundtrack. If I can get my hands on some blank CDs, I totally want to burn all of the soundtracks I have. Which is a lot. And I would print out the cover art too, because I am just that dedicated.

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahaha There's a pretty funny conversation between Eridan and Gamzee that I totally forgot about. Eridan's trying to talk to Karkat about his feelings, Karkat's getting his own feelings slapped out of him by Jack because Sollux is dead right now, and so Gamzee answers instead. His advice is for Eridan to slam a Faygo, but it's just...I completely forgot about this. It's so great.

Gamzee also has been spontaneously honking in the background of several pictures.

Black Queen was Terezi's exile. I'm pretty sure of that.

**JESSICA**

Ok, so Snowman?

**KALYN**

Yes

Apparently she talked to Vriska as well.

**KALYN**

To bring every circle closed, her partner and rival would have to be guided in tandem. The Thief and the Seer were to serve as twin lashes of the scourge cracked by a quasiroyal against her own former kingdom to settle a score. To make him pay. Scourge's black inches would rip red miles through Derse, and the bright rivers gushing from its wounds would wash her mutineers down the drains of exile. In time they would have to answer for their treason.

Snowman's plot to use Vriska and Terezi. I love this, because they were once called "Team Scourge" when they RP'd together.

So many people have some version of a red rocket something! Vriska's boots, Tavros' rocket car, Terezi has rocket wings, I think this is partly what Karkat was talking about when he said everyone got to fly but him.

**JESSICA**

sorry, i'm not really ignoring you, i'll get to this tomorrow, good night!

* * *

><p>Yeah, so Jessica and I, like everyone else, got into that Sims social on Facebook. My Sim is Hanna Cross (high five if you know him!) and hers is just herself, and they're dating. But we tend to talk about them a bit on here, so if it seems really random, this is all from Facebook anyway, so we were probably multitasking. I miss my Sims3 game... :(<p> 


	18. Canon and Ships

Okay, breaking it up into smaller pieces. I'm pretty sure every link here is preceded by mspaintadventures(dot)com, so if you really wanna get some context, just do that. *sigh*...I ask a lot of questions. Ummm...pretty much the usual, we're talking about homestuck, and I pretty much have commentary as I'm going through it for the second time. I'm a dumbass, as always.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

You know, the second time around, I find myself supporting the canon more. I kind of maybe might like Karkat/Terezi. A little. Maybe. More than before.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004478

THIS IS THE BEST FOREVER

**KALYN**

I spy a red rocket unicycle. Gamzee's no doubt. Add that one to the list.

Remember all the galaxies in Sollux's glasses? They show the alternate universes of the SBURB and SGRUB sessions.

Don't know why. But there you go.

So how did Vriska get her arm and eye(s) back? Was it when she ascended to God Tier, would that have healed her?

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004538

What's going on with Jade in that cloud? I can't really tell.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004550

And according to this one, Rose's house is gonna blow up?

**KALYN**

There's another cloud with Dave looking up at a gate. And an enemy.

Now I'm just counting clouds, lol

**KALYN**

Hm. Since Jack has red blood, and WV is kind of soaking in blood that is bright red and light blue, the conclusion I have come to is that the blood of the white carapaces is blue. Which means that, by troll standards, the black carapaces are lower than the white. Is this like...some sort of strange commentary on racism or "bluebloods" in hierarchy? Bleh.

Unless all that blue is just water. Which is very likely.

**KALYN**

"TT: That's thoughtful of you.

TT: To strive to pacify me as I scuffle down this black corridor.

GA: Wait

GA: Is That What Im Doing

TT: Is it?

GA: On Second Thought

GA: Thats Not What I Want To Do

...

**KALYN**

GA: But Id Rather Not Get Stuck In That Kind Of Pattern Again

GA: So If You Want To Wreck Turtle Villages And Tear Your Planet Apart On The Counsel Of Dark Gods

GA: Fine With Me I Guess

TT: What do you mean, "again?" "

Darling Kanaya.

**KALYN**

She doesn't want to just get stuck pacifying. She wants herself some redrom! XD

And she deserves it.

**KALYN**

Terezi is clearly annoyed with Karkat.

**KALYN**

"TG: dont matter what i do im not gonna outpace egbert

GC: DONT S4Y TH4T! YOUV3 GOT TO B3L13V3 1N YOURS3LF D4V3

TG: hey its not like the futures a mystery or anything weve both seen it

...

GC: Y34H OK, JOHN M4Y S3RV3 YOU YOUR OWN BULG3 ON 4 S1LV3R TURN T4BL3 PR3 SCR4TCH

GC: BUT WH4T 4BOUT 4FT3R TH4T?"

Trying to pinpoint any emotional undertones in this conversation... Jealousy? Admiration? Bitterness? What is it that John does that is so great that Dave just can't compare? Perhaps God Tier and all that, but to get there John just dies on a bed! He doesn't even know he's about to die! Dave has faced his own death many times! And he doesn't want to die on that bed, but when he approaches it, he knows that's what he would have to face! Or rather, he would have to be the one to kill an alternate version of himself, which would make that alternate version reach God Tier and not him, so there could be many reasons there, but still. I'm rambling. What's my point again?

**JESSICA**

John didn't overthink everything, he just went ahead and did it! That is something Dave can never do. My assumption would be jealousy and bitterness, but it also could be admiration. Dave does love John (it can be either as brothers or something more), so it could be admiration as well. I think most people forget these kids are only 13, and that's a lot to put 13 year old through.

**JESSICA**

John got himself killed, sure, like a total idiot, sure! John is just a good-natured, sweet kid, a little derpy sometimes, but he can get stuff done. He's like the hero in a video game-I'm trying to think of a good analogy for this. John would be like Sora-idealistic, unerring from his path, doesn't overthink things, and is an all around good guy. Dave though...I don't know who Dave would be exactly. He's not bad, but he is from Derse, the dark moon, so he would be like Riku, but he's not swayed by the darkside. He always has his friends on his side, rather than them being enemies. So Dave might be a little jealous of John, but he will always be his best friend.

**JESSICA**

I never even thought of those bloody clouds! Well, maybe I did, but I disregarded them afterwards! I have no idea what Jade is doing. Lying down? Falling into water? I don't know. She was her computer out though.

**JESSICA**

Also: Tehehehe, Vriska got the tar beat out of her by Aradia :D

Tavros is so confused, he is always confused, poor guy Can I hug him? Vriska did take him under her wing again, but the silly boy should have been suspicious of something. Sigh, poor Tavros

**JESSICA**

You all ready know my opinions on canon relationships. *shrug* it was not that much of an issue for me. And if it was canon once, it will forever be canon in my mind! Heh. What else did you mention? There was a lot. I won't talk about the rockets too much. They're pretty much self explanatory *shrug*

Oh, yeah. Vriska's arm and eye. She got those back before god tier, didn't she? Or was it that she wasn't always in god tier? I don't know.

**JESSICA**

I don't quite know what to make of your Snowman theory. Where did you get that reference from? I vaguely remember it, but if you could get the original source, that would be greatly appreciated.

**KALYN**

John is affiliated to wind and therefore spades/sword. Young John wears a spade shirt.

Rose is affiliated to water and therefore hearts/cup. Maplehoof has (what can only be described ) as a heart "cutesy mark"

Dave is affiliated to fire and therefore clubs/wand.

Jade is affiliated to earth and therefore diamonds/coin. Jade's SKAIANET shirt has a logo in the shape of a diamond.

This is what MSPAWiki had to say on the subject of suits. However, this is wrong. Unreliable is MSPAWiki! I don't think AH had Tarot decks in mind when he was making this, but I have some solid proof that Dave is hearts. Maplehoof has nothing to do with it (unless you see it more as babyDave flew in on Maplehoof).

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004665

TADA! Dave has a heart bib.

**KALYN**

Oh. Apparently that bib is made out of Maplehoof.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004668

Here it's a heart shirt, just like that picture of John.

**KALYN**

Apparently Sollux wanted to name Dave Insufferable Prick when he was younger. It wouldn't let him, because Dave wasn't thirteen yet, but it's weird because Sollux didn't want to troll the kids at all. So.

**JESSICA**

May I say "I told you so"? I knew Dave was connected to the hearts the entire time!

And just... Bro, why would you make a bib out of Maplehoof?

I would think MSPAWiki should have been thrown off when John was paired with the sword. What does he have to do with swords? I dunno.

That is an interesting point you bring up about Sollux and Dave. Why does Sollux feel compelled to troll Dave? Or did he just decide he would try and chose Dave randomly? (I don't particularly believe this theory myself, but DEVIL'S ADVOCATE! ^w^ )

**JESSICA**

(kekekekekekekekekekekeh browse(dot)deviantart(dot)com/?q=squiddles&order=9&offset=48#/d2ywuv3 )

**KALYN**

Lol that song's hilarious. All of the Squiddles songs are.

**JESSICA**

It's my favorite album ^^ next to probably The Wanderers

**KALYN**

"CG: SO DAVE, TRY TO KEEP ALL THOSE SICK FIRES CHECKED AND THOSE STOIC LIPS PURSED FOR A GOD DAMNED SECOND"

Karkat talking about Dave's lips is just all kinds of strange.

**KALYN**

"CG: I SEE NOTHING BUT A COWARD BEHIND DARK EYEWEAR CLEARLY DESIGNED FOR WOMEN AND A PAIR OF IMPUDENT LIPS PURSED SO TIGHT IT'LL SOUND LIKE AIR SQUEALING OUT OF A BALLOON WHEN I PUNCH YOU IN THE GUT.

CTG: oh god stop talking about my lips thats the second time "

See.

**KALYN**

By the way, that conversation is like my absolute favorite in the entire comic/story/game...thing.

Oh god I totally forgot that Eridan was desperate enough to hit on Rose at some point!

And then she blew up his computer. Hahahahaha

So Aradia just called the Green Sun "the source of the first guardians". No, wait it was "the s0urce 0f the first" you get it.

**KALYN**

AA: maybe if i behave in a manner s0 rand0m

AA: parad0x space w0nt kn0w h0w t0 handle it!

AA: blah BL00P blee BLUH!#$%^&*()_+

AA: didnt see that 0ne c0ming did y0u pspace? + ?*rand(413^612)

Man, wouldn't it just suck for Aradia if her randomness turned out to be some important code? Don't think I didn't notice those numbers there!

**KALYN**

So THAT'S why Aradia exploded!

Remember when I said Terezi ships Dave/himself because of that comic she made with him and Davesprite? Yeah, just realized the name of that comic is "D4V3XD4V3". So ha. Totally shipped. It's practically canon now!

I probably already knew this subconsciously, but it has just entered my conscious thought that the kids type in their eye colors. Duh.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004740

HOW COULD I FORGET SOMETHING THIS COMPLETELY BADASS.

**KALYN**

Hm. Y'know that big record in LoHaC? There was a sword in it, I think it was supposed to be used to make the Scratch. Jack (pre-Bec) found it and took out the sword. There's a small scratch in one side of the record, but it didn't even reach the middle yet. Seems kind of...sabotagey.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004748

This makes a lot more sense, knowing that Prospit has been destroyed and Jade's dream self is dead, and the dream bubbles weren't created until a bit later, but they were in the outer rings because that's where the dreamers and dead end up now. And Dave could see it obviously, because he was asleep at the time and Derse hasn't been destroyed yet. And also it's by the outer rings. Rambling, rambling.

...

Why is Feferi there?

**JESSICA**

I'm pretty sure Bec and Doc Scratch get their power from the Green Sun, so I'm also pretty sure that is where the Guardians get their powers in general. Of course, this assumption could be based off misread information.

That scratch in the record on LoHaC wasn't caused by Bro, was it? At one point when he's fighting Jack he stabs down and his sword gets caught in the record. Although from the sounds of it, what you are talking happened before then. I could be wrong.

And, um... That Jade thing was very... crazy to say the least. I have no idea why Fef is there, other than her lusus was Oglogoth (or whatever) and he(she?) was one of the elder god things from the out rim. And let's be honest, she looked pretty creepy. What a wonderful first glimpse of the trolls for Jade! Also, I read Jade and Fef's conversation directly post that epileptic's nightmare of a video. I noticed that Jade made the same promise Karkat did: Never to sleep again. How similar are they, really? Sans Karkat's constant raging.

**JESSICA**

What was with that conversation between Kar and Dave? Was Kar just trying to troll? Was that it? Because, you're right, he seemed pretty obsessed with his lips...

**JESSICA**

(I was just thinking Jade's expression is priceless .com/?s=6&p=004751

Also, when Karkat is talking to her "CG: LET'S CATCH UP. HOW IS EVERYTHING? HOW WAS YOUR DEATHNAP? I CAN ONLY HOPE IT WAS AS REFRESHING AS MINE.

CG: WHAT'S THAT? HOW AM I? I'M GREAT, FEEL LIKE A MILLION BOONBANKS EVER SINCE MY LITTLE POWER SNOOZE." That to be exact, makes me think Karkat is lying on his stomach with his chin resting on his palms and his feet kicked up in the air. Don't know why. Although, I gotta say, the conversation directly following that is probably one of my favorites)

**JESSICA**

(kekekekeke CG: I DON'T PLAY PRANKS, THAT'S JUVENILE NONSENSE.)

**KALYN**

That conversation with Karkat and Dave also involved John, when Karkat was telling them both to stop talking to Vriska and Terezi.

…

**JESSICA**

So, anyway, back to what this monstrosity of a message is about, James and I were having a debate

**KALYN**

I need you to click that paintbrush real quick.

**JESSICA**

paintbrush?

**KALYN**

On my profile.

**JESSICA**

ok

**KALYN**

You. Rock.

Now, about your debate.

**JESSICA**

Ok, well, basically we were talking about Eridan, and how he's dead

But I said he still has plenty of growing up to do

and James said there is no chance now

but i said there were always the bubbles

now i pose this question to you

Who would go back to see Eridan?

**KALYN**

Wait, so the question isn't if he has a chance of growing up, but if anyone actually wants to see him in the Dream Bubbles?

**JESSICA**

yes

**KALYN**

Believe it or not, plenty of the trolls would. Feferi for sure. Gamzee might (he and Eridan have had at least one friendly conversation). Karkat might, just because he can't help feeling for people, and he and Eridan used to gossip a lot about romance and stuff.

**JESSICA**

Thank you!

**KALYN**

Aradia (god-tier, the one that's already all over the bubbles) might just talk to him a bit.

Any of the other dead trolls and kids who are in the bubbles might talk to him.

**JESSICA**

I told James that at the very least Feferi and Karkat would, but James said "Why would Feferi talk to her killer?"

**KALYN**

Because he wasn't just her killer. He was her moirail. She stopped trying to be his moirail because she assumed that once they had begun playing the game, she wouldn't need to look after him anymore. Turns out she was wrong about that. But she still cared about him.

**JESSICA**

yeah, that's what i thought

Also, are Rose's eyes really purple? You mentioned before that the humans typed in the same color as their eyes.

**KALYN**

Yep. They were purple in one of the more recent updates. I think she was talking to Eridan, actually. Maybe. He had assumed she was royalty because of the color she typed in, but it wasn't her blood color so he was confused.

**JESSICA**

Right, I forgot about that

**KALYN**

But I realized it when Dave was talking to Terezi about how red is his blood color. But she asked him why he wore his shades to cover up the color of his eyes like Karkat covered up his blood color.

**JESSICA**

I need to reread this too x.x

**KALYN**

Then I made the connection between blood/eye color.

**JESSICA**

I guess that makes sense

So, I find "The Squiddles the Movie Trailer- The Day the Unicorns Couldn't Play" incredibly creepy.

**KALYN**

I quite like it.

"But...w-where are the unicorns today, Mommy? Where are the unicorns?"

**JESSICA**

It's still creepy. "where are the unicorns... Mommy?"

the mom disappeared!

**KALYN**

Um...I think it's still just talking to Mommy.

**JESSICA**

Rpers = Rapers? (my initial reaction to seeing that) (I know what it actuallly is)

I'm trying to figure out a way to get the Adorabloodthirsty shirts actually done

would you two want a Team Adorabloodthirsty Shirt and a Team Blue shirt?

3+ t-shirts ordered we(or me, i guess) get 5% off. So if we each get 2, it won't be too bad. Sadly the next increment is 10 with 10% off, but I don't plan on buying 10 shirts

Unless I were to sell them, but I don't plan on doing that

actually, never mind for now

i'll ask around and see where the clubs all got their t-shirts done

Anyway, I might have to call these stores anyway. We'll see. Hopefully I can get these done for Christmas, and if not, uh, BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!

**KALYN**

I would LOVE to have both Team Blue and Team Adorabloodthirsty! Because I love them both! And also, Sollux is on the blue team, and that's my sign. Heh.

**JESSICA**

Ok Would Morgan like both too?

**KALYN**

Yes she would XD

**JESSICA**

I figured

**KALYN**

"Why would I say no to this?" she said.

**JESSICA**

hehehehe

**JESSICA**

If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be?

hehehe

**KALYN**

What?

**KALYN**

Wow. I'm such a dumbass. 45 minutes later, and I now realize what you did there.

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

**KALYN**

CCG: I'M MAKING A MENTAL NOTE TO SLAP MYSELF THREE HOURS FROM NOW, FOR BEING ENOUGH OF A SAP TO START DEVELOPING RED FEELINGS FOR A DUMB ANNOYING HUMAN, IF I'M READING BETWEEN THE LINES CORRECTLY.

Oh, Karkat. So what, is it like...Terezi is Kismesis, Jade is potential matesprit or moirail?

**JESSICA**

Maybe. A common idea though is that Jade, Past Karkat and Future Karkat have the clubs relationship (which I can't remember the name of ). But also, this is past Karkat reading into future Karkat and basically trolling himself. So it could be nothing.

**KALYN**

Well then Dave comes in and laughs his ass off at Karkat's hypocrisy regarding how he had told John and Dave not to hit on the troll girls.

**KALYN**

FCG: NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO OPEN YOUR VEINS AND WRITE POEMS ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

CCG: FUCK YOU, I'M JUST VOICING A HARMLESS OBSERVATION OK

CCG: IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS IF SOME LUNK HEAD IN THE FUTURE GETS CARRIED AWAY WITH WHATEVER LITTLE THOUGHTS I MAY OR MAY NOT NOW BE THINKING

Then after she leaves they say this.

**JESSICA**

Just that previous exchange?

Or something else?

could you link me to that page please?

I would like to read the entire exchange

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004752

**JESSICA**

thank you

Couldn't the poor girl just leave? Why did she have to be banned?

**KALYN**

She did leave, lol

**JESSICA**

I know, but she dragged it out when she didn't have to

**KALYN**

I guess so, haha

**JESSICA**

Anyway, I don't know. What you copied and pasted was preceded by this CCG: I THINK

CCG: I WAS PROBABLY WRONG ABOUT JADE

CCG: SHE'S A LITTLE LESS LAME THAN I THOUGHT

FCG: SHHHHSHHSHSHSHSH

FCG: SHE CAN STILL READ THIS YOU STUPID FUCK

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004776

This is a pretty awesome exchange, since Jack comes and just tosses that sword to Bro and he catches it and they're all nonchalant about the epic rematch they're about to have.

**KALYN**

Anyway. You were saying?

**JESSICA**

lol

let me think x.x

I don't know whether to take Karkat at face value or not

or at least when to take him at face value

because he could be dead serious about "she can still read this you stupid fuck" or he could be being sarcastic

**KALYN**

Well both past and future Karkat accused to other of having feelings for Jade. And they also both admitted to thinking Jade was pretty cool. And Karkat is rarely sarcastic, and if he is, he's totally extravagant about it.

**JESSICA**

I think

I think it is late

and I really need to be asleep

That is what I think

So I shall talk to you tomorrow

**KALYN**

EB: he seems like he was an awesome guy, i would have liked to have the chance to talk to him.

GG: well

GG: maybe you will get that chance john

EB: oh?

GG: yes, as a matter of fact i am sure we will both get that chance!

GG: i once dreamt that we would

They speculate that this'll happen with prototyping, but since it doesn't, I'm pretty sure our theory is dead on.

**KALYN**

They're talking about Jade's grandpa, by the way

**JESSICA**

I leave you, and shall read this all tomorrow

**KALYN**

k


	19. Bin ich ein Dummkopf?

This one seems to end abruptly, but the next one starts kind of off topic. Whatever, who even cares anymore? Random plug: I love the song Russian Unicorn! Check it out on youtube if you haven't, it's actually really catchy. Ummm...again, if I haven't fixed a link, then it probably is from mspaintadventures, so whatever you see just goes at the end.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

.com/?s=6&p=004827

D'awwwww, Karkat! DX

**KALYN**

For the record, I blame the entire screw up on Vriska for making John go to sleep. Through cause and effect, Vriska killed Bro! DX

Speaking of Bro, yeah that sword in the record was his from that battle. Jack got it out and then gave it to him for their rematch.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004848

What is going on in this cloud here?

**KALYN**

It's so weird to me that Vriska is kind of projecting her failed relationship with Tavros onto John. He's like...her compensation. Her second Tavros. Except it's more successful than her other one, but you know. It's like all of the trolls with their failed relationships are finding what they're looking for in the human kids. Poor kids.

**KALYN**

So Rose and Dave are talking about the Horrorterrors and Rose said they need her and Dave's help because they're being massacred, which is threatening the perpetuation of all reality. So is that what Lord English is doing? Threatening reality? So they have to take the Tumor to the Green Sun, his (my guess) source of power? Because green fire seems to be a trait of first guardians.

Okay. I think the point of the comic has become more clear to me now. It's to save all of reality by destroying the Green Sun, which is the source of those threatening reality.

That's their purpose. Anything else is generally secondary to that, since I think the perpetuation of reality is on a bit grander scale than any other problems.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004942

This is what was going on in that cloud there.

**KALYN**

TT: It's a man who exists in another universe.

TT: He wants to die.

Explains why Doc Scratch might have been helping Rose, I guess. Does he really want to die? He always seemed so damn proud and pretentious. But whatever. Maybe when we actually meet Lord English, we'll see why being in his service for eternity would absolutely fucking suck.

**KALYN**

TT: He no longer has a purpose now that he's done everything required to summon his master.

TT: As a first guardian, he's completely indestructible.

That's why. Okay. So this is...long after Doc Scratch has completed his purpose. Long after we've seen him, I guess.

**KALYN**

Hm. I think each of their patron trolls have some sort of red feelings for the kids. Just sayin.

**KALYN**

Rose's patron troll (Kanaya, obviously) was referred to as a "fairy god troll" and the command was "Answer fairy god troll." Then Jade got the same command, but it was Tavros, so is he her patron troll, or was that just an allusion to his enamorment (not a word, I know) for fairies and Pupa Pan?

Hahaha, Jade's grandpa died in much a similar way as his own adoptive father. He was shot with the pistols accidentally.

D'aww, Tavros thinks Jade is pretty. Despite alien looks, he automatically thinks that, I think it's sweet.

**KALYN**

Oh wow Tavros is modeling himself after Vriska a little bit. When he's going on about how to have high self-esteem, and basically he wanted to involve himself in Jade's life a little bit and save her when she was little, because he wanted to be responsible for something like that and that's how one feels good about himself. So...does he see Vriska as the opposite of him? He has low self esteem, therefore she has high self esteem and must be doing something to have that? Wow, poor misguided Tavros.

**KALYN**

God, Vriska literally did every fucking thing she could to make sure Bec Noir happened. She put people to sleep so Bec would be prototyped, she mind-controlled CD to tell DD of the DNA sequence for Bec so they would create him-why? All because she wanted to be responsible for making the ultimate boss and then defeating him. She's like... there's a profile for this. Angel of Death. People who commit crimes so they can come in and be the hero.

She wanted to be a part of every major event. So this is what she was talking about with all her irons in the fire.

I love how Vriska has this like Nic Cage shrine in some corner of the lab.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004969

She has very many irons in the fire.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=004971

**KALYN**

Hehe, found Lord English.

Apparently 612 is another significant number. It was notable to note on the video entitled "John: Rise Up" that it was the 612th day. And when Aradia was being random (or trying to) she randomly typed (413^612).

What are fraymotifs? Apparently Terezi sent Dave to get them all, but I don't know what they are.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005064

I really hope this can be used later.

**KALYN**

"It is so fancy. You cannot imagine wearing it on anything other than super special occasions. Not to mention you'll freeze your ass off in this thing!" And yet, this is what she wears when she and Dave are hunting for frogs. What the hell.

**KALYN**

GG: werent you the guy who was always trying to hit on me?

CA: that couldvve been anyone

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**KALYN**

GG: the guy who helps me build the present

GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future!

CA: wwhy

GG: because he said hes my grandson

Yeah, see? Grandson, it says here. So that's...still a possibility, I guess. Sort of? Maybe from wayyy in the future and stuff. Or it's grandpa, and he's being misleading.

**KALYN**

Seems like several people just wanted to be the one to kill Bec Noir. Eridan was hoping to use his science wands to do that.

So much crying. Sollux cries when Aradia blows up, Terezi cries when doomed Dave dies. Cry cry cry.

**KALYN**

Hm. Apparently Gamzee is "the most important character in Homestuck." According to this page.

.com/?s=6&p=005119

**KALYN**

This is after his murder spree, I think. At least after he killed Nepeta.

**JESSICA**

Ok, I agree with you about Vriska. Totally her fault. Actually, that was exactly what I was thinking while watching Jade: Enter. Well, that and "What the fuck, Li'l Cal!" He's everywhere! He just ... he's freaky!

But you know what, if Vriska hadn't done what she did, what would have happened? Everything would have been totally different. Karkat would have opened the door, and then who knows what would have happened?

**JESSICA**

I don't remember what's going on in that cloud, but it is familiar. Also, do you remember when we were talking about the blood color of the pawns? They both have red blood. Anything we had been talking about can basically be thrown out the window.

I can sort of see where you are getting at with the trolls are finding second chances with the kids thing. Who else finds a second chance? Terezi definitely, Kanaya potentially, Karkat sort of? But at least he has a moirail now.

Vriska doing everything she could to make sure Bec Noir came about intrigues me. She was talking to Doc Scratch before during her RPing, right? What if she was being influenced by him somehow? (And by somehow I mean reverse psychology.) And yeah, Tavros is a sweetheart.

**JESSICA**

He probably does see Vriska as the exact opposite of him. She does everything she wants to, she doesn't let anything hold her back (or at least very little holds her back). Tavros would fit in better among the kids. He just isn't cut out to be a troll XD He was considered a weakling by the trolls when he was in the wheelchair. Actually, who invited him? Karkat, Kanaya or Gamzee? They seem like the most likely candidates. Actually, it was Gamzee wasn't it?

**JESSICA**

Anyway, back to how he's a "weakling," he didn't kill any of the enemies, he just controlled them-Maybe that's another reason Tavros compares himself to Vriska? Vriska can control sentient creatures (trolls and humans) while he controls "brainless" animals. So maybe he sees that as a short-coming. They both have mind control, so why can't he control sentient creatures as well? Maybe, I'm just shooting in the dark here.

No matter what, Tavros seems like he belongs with the kids more than with the trolls. That is my semi-professional opinion.

**JESSICA**

You did indeed find Lord English!

"She has many irons in the fire" Does that refer to AH riding the Luck Dragon with Lord English's eyes? I never even realized that Vriska was controlling him. I just thought "Oh look, he's a Scorpio too!" Bin ich ein Dummkopf? Ja, ein bisschen.

**JESSICA**

I knew there was something somewhere about the mysterious helper being someone's grandson!

I found Lord English? .com/?s=6&p=005127

**JESSICA**

Actually, interesting to note, Lord Enlgish's coat has the same symbol as Dave's shirt .com/?s=6&p=005128

**JESSICA**

And jegus! Is no one allowed to cry?

Some of us need to release emotions!

I think that just about covers it for this time around! Other than Gamzee being the most important character. I have no idea what that means.

**KALYN**

That symbol on Dave's shirt was actually on AH's felt suit, not the coat.

I'm on recap #3 now!

He called Gamzee "the most important character in Homestuck" again.

Jadesprite really wants to die too, and I think since she's been prototyped with Bec, then destroying the Green Sun might do that for her.

Yeah, so Tavros is totally not her patron troll. It's been denounced, ignore what I said before. It's Karkat. Which was already established.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005152

So I love how Karkat thinks of this only after he gets Jade to admit that her fighting with herself is the exact same thing as him fighting with himself. Do you realize the implications here?

**KALYN**

CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.

CG: FUCK I MEAN

CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE

See? Freudian slip. Right here.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005161

This is cryptic. HOW THE HELL DID I MISS SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT SOUNDING THE FIRST TIME.

**KALYN**

So the White King is gonna get involved. K cool. Also he seems to be enjoying Rose's wizard fanfiction.

Then WV has quite the prophetic dream while waiting for a radioactive bowel movement.

**KALYN**

So you know how Aradia didn't have a dream self? Well she actually did. Her dream self was sleeping it seemed deep within Derse rather than anywhere on the surface. I think she was sleeping on her Quest Bed too. She was looking pretty ghostly. But yeah, she probably died when Bec Noir destroyed Derse, and that's why Aradiabot exploded. Then she reached God Tier and froze Bec Noir in place 4 hours and 13 minutes before the CRITICAL MOMENT.

**KALYN**

GG: here ill save it all to a file and send it to you

- gardenGnostic [GG] sent grimAuxiliatrix [GA] the file "" -

GA: Okay Im Laughing Pretty Hard At All That

Do we get to see this conversation?

**JESSICA**

I totally forgot about the White King HOW THE HELL DID I MESS SOMETHING THIS OBVIOUS SOUNDING THE FIRST TIME? Anyway, yeah, I knew the White King would come, but only because of the Wanderer's Cover Art. Bin ich ein Dummkopf? Ja, mehr als ein bisschen.

**JESSICA**

I knew Aradia had a dream self. I knew all of that and I even referrenced it a few times!

"Then WV has quite the prophetic dream while waiting for a radioactive bowel movement." XD Ahem, sorry, you probably don't want me quoting what you just said, even though I find it hilarious ans well put!

And I don't believe we get to see the conversation between Jade and Dave. Unless you want to syphon through all of their conversations to see if any fit the bill.

**JESSICA**

And I never touched base with this one: Poor Karkat Poor, poor Karkat.

Do you think it could be a hate thing? He doesn't know whether he loves himself or if he hates himself? I don't know. But poor guy I find myself drawn to him even more

**KALYN**

I always love when he's talking to someone and they get on the topic of romance, because he gets pretty into it, haha. And I just played the game when Eridan challenges Sollux and when Eridan and Karkat talk, Karkat talks about how awkward the whole Nepeta thing is. Like Eridan was rejected by her (lol) and Karkat was all "I'm pretty sure she's still obsessed with me dude. Her rejection didn't reflect on you. It's very red, very unrequited situation" and pretty much he just avoids the subject.

I mean, maybe this is how the ancestors were. It could be possible, since most of the story came from Nepeta's ancestor's cave drawings. She could have shipped them together, it could have been total fanfiction (or partial fanfiction).

**JESSICA**

Don't forget that while John loves terrible movies, Karkat loves terrible romance movies, so he's going to be all over this like stink on a skunk

**KALYN**

Yeah, totally

Hey so Doc Scratch has numerous protegés (he even said this himself) however...aren't they all girls? He's like some sort of really creepy... I dunno. Like a perversion of Charlie from Charlie's angels.

He talks to Rose, Vriska, and Kanaya at least. I'm pretty sure. They're the angels. It's them.

**JESSICA**

Or not a perversion? lol

**KALYN**

...how not?

Like he's the real Charlie?

How would that make sense?

**JESSICA**

never mind, it is very suspect

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

**JESSICA**

No, I believe that might have been brought up sometime before too (the whole pedophilia thing). Most likely by Rose

A reason to look up Morse Code .com/?s=6&p=005169

actually, I'm on it!

**KALYN**

Oh yeah, I didn't actually start translating that stuff until the Vriska fairy lol

**JESSICA**

So far what I have is hilarious and cute!

This is it exactly: "HELP!MY/FRIEND/IS/SXC/INSIDE/THE/BIG/CAN,INSIDE/A/SMALL/HOUSE/HE/BUILT!YOU/MUST/HURRY,HE/IS/NOT/VERY/BRIGHT,AND/HE/ "

**JESSICA**

translated from: "... . .-.. .-. ! - -.- / ..-. .-. .. . -. -.. / .. ... / ... -..- -.-. / .. -. ... .. -.. . / - ... . / -... .. -. / -.-. .- -. , .. -. ... .. -.. . / .- / ... - .- .-.. .-.. / ... - ..- ... . / ... . / -... ..- .. .-.. - ! -.- - ..- / - ..- ... - / ... ..- .-. .-. -.- , ... . / .. ... / -. - - / ...- . .-. -.- / -... .-. .. -. ... - , .- -. -.. / ... . /"

(sxc should be "stuck" I just typed it in wrong)

**KALYN**

There's a translator that will translate the whole thing for you. You can just copy/paste it, and it will turn it into coherent sentences without all the extra symbols.

**KALYN**

www(dot)qbit(dot)it/lab/demorse(dot)php?text

**JESSICA**

except it is on a picture

can't copy and past it

**KALYN**

Ah. Well when it becomes copyable then you can do that.

Which it will.

**JESSICA**

HELP!MY/FRIEND/IS/STUCK/INSIDE/THE/BIG/CAN,INSIDE/A/SMALL/HOUSE/HE/BUILT!YOU/MUST/HURRY,HE/IS/NOT/VERY/BRIGHT,AND/HE/DOESN'T/UNDERSTAND/IT/WHEN/I/BLINK!ARE/YOU/WATCHING/ME?OH/NO,DON'T/BLINK/ME/YOU/DON'T/UNDERSTAND/BLINKING/EITHER!HOW/DO/YOU/PEOPLE/EVEN/EXCHANGE/IDEAS/WITHOUT/LUMINOUS/REAR/ENDS!

there

all done!

with only minor carpal tunnel!

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005314

Gamzee's frightening glaring eye is in this cloud.

**JESSICA**

So it is!

Did you translate what Serenity says a few pages later when WV is asleep? Dreaming of what looks suspiciously like the laboratory at Jade's house about to be destroyed by the itty bitty moon chained to Prospit.

**KALYN**

no, I just translated the Vriska fairy part

**JESSICA**

TO/COMBINE/THE/FINEST/QUALITIES/OF/HUMANITY/WITH/THE/ELEGANCE/AND/NOBILITY/OF/THE/ANIMAL/KINGDOM HOW/YOU/WISH/YOU/COULD/KNOW/THEIR/WORLD TO/HEAR/ONE/NIGHT/THOSE/MUTED/PAWPADS/TRAIPSE/UP/YOUR/STAIRS A/LOW/BUT/FRIENDLY/GROWL/UNSETTLES/YOUR/SLUMBER AND/AS/THE/SOPOR/SEEPS/FROM/YOUR/EYES (sopor slime?) THEY/DETECT/A/SHARP/PAIR/OF/EARS/CUTTING/MOONLIGHT A/MYSTERIOUS/WOLVEN/TONGUE/INVITES WOULDN'T/THESE/EARS/SUIT/YOU? WOULD/NOT/THIS/PROUD/LONG/SNOUT/ASSIST/YOU/IN/THE/HUNT?

For those following at home, that monstrosity begins with the command "WV: Dream"

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

And then Vriska's part (since I never really translated it, and I feel like it should be recorded. You aren't the only one with the recording bug!) (Also still during WV's dream)

HEY/YOU!

JUST/WHAT/DO/YOU/THINK/YOURE/PLANNING/ON/DOING/WITH/THAT/RING?

WHATEVER/IT/IS/FORGET/IT!

THE/SLAYER/IS/MIIIIIIIINE::::)

**JESSICA**

NOW/W8KE/UP!

I/SAID/W88888888KE!

There had to be a reason why Vriska felt bad for killing Tavros, because if you remember, she told John that she felt guilty for killing him. I thought it was because she had feelings for him, but what if there was another reason for it?

I dunno exactly, it's just bothering me. I said a little bit ago that Tavros belongs more with the trolls than with the trolls. His hero is Pupa Pan (Peter Pan) who can we assume is the symbolic form of child-like innocence?

**KALYN**

humans*

**JESSICA**

oh, hahah

oops

**KALYN**

If I didn't just spend the last 25 minutes copy/pasting all the shit from the past couple days, I would have pointed out to you that the beginning of that dream there, the morse code that you just translated, was word-for-word a piece of some sort of fanfiction of Jade's about like...people-animals.

**JESSICA**

I was wondering about that. It baffled me.

But it makes sense, since in the dream, WV hears Bec Noir and then turns into Bec Noir himself.

**KALYN**

Yeah, haha

**JESSICA**

What was with that lab "next door" to Rose's house? It wasn't simply there for the wireless internet, was it? It confuses me.

**JESSICA**

There's your number 413 again. The unsecured lab connection Rose uses is from SN_LAB0413.

SN=SkaiaNet? Or did I just pull that out of my butt?

**JESSICA**

Or rather from Terminator

**JESSICA**

So, the items each kid used to enter the game were: an apple for John, and egg for Dave, a (wine) bottle for Rose, and a Bec pinata for Jade. Jade's was the only one truly specific to her, or at least that I can tell. Dave also wasn't the first one to have an egg. One of the failed Earth attempts had an egg as well (which actually spurred this little tangent on). I don't know if the items have any significance or not, but since Jade's was very specific, I just wondered how specific the others were.

Rose's would be simple if it was a wine bottle, since her mother drinks and she has deeply seeded issues because of that.

The apple for John. I don't know. Johnny Appleseed? Is that the connection? Which doesn't make any sense.

Dave and the egg. Because of the crow being his first prototyping act, Dave has been connected with birds in my mind. However he wasn't really connected with them before, was he?

That's another thing. Jade and Dave's sprites are connected to their initial item.

Well, here's a monstrosity of a message for you when you get back

**JESSICA**

(I guess it wasn't that bad, was it?)

**JESSICA**

PipeFan413 = John's Dad

**KALYN**

"And what about the OTHER twelve wigglers you spawned? Who were they? Probably further proof this was all meaningless and random. Could it be that they were the true heroes meant to be sent back to play this game, while your team was the superfluous crop? Could a mistake have been made during the reckoning?" Initially, yes.

**KALYN**

The apple was possibly an allusion to Genesis. The fruit from the tree of knowledge, y'know? Makes sense, since John was sort of the first player into the medium.

That connection...very true.

Anyway, after that quote up there from Karkat pondering his ectobiology exploits, then we get this one: "Or just maybe, she was right about them all along. Not that it makes any difference now." That's so fucking cryptic!

Oh, I think that was talking about Vriska. She was convinced they were their ancestors, but Karkat didn't really want to believe it.

**KALYN**

You know how it was suspected that Mindfang's slave girl was Aradia's ancestor? How would that be possible if Aradia's ancestor was travelling through time as a ghost, scaring people and stirring up legends? So either it was some random troll girl, or a different ancestor. I was thinking Kanaya, but would that make sense? Given the description of the slave? She was sold into slavery after the whole rebellion, wasn't she?

**JESSICA**

It couldn't have been Kanaya's ancestor, or at least not from the information given about her. She was one of the trolls that tended to the Mothergrub (or whatever, I'm not even going to bother thinking of the right word right now x.x). They could easily have been wrong about it, that could become a plot point, or something. But no, not Kanaya (plus, Kanaya has green blood, wouldn't it just have been red bloods who were slaves?).

**JESSICA**

Oh, after the rebellion, totally didn't see that. I should probably read things more thoroughly.

I was thinking about the whole Genesis thing too, but how else would John be connected to Adam (presumably not Eve). You could say something to the effect that he created life? I don't know. Only it would be a perverted version of Adam's story...Or would it? I'm not familiar with my Old Testament... or my New Testament for that matter... However. When John took a bite of the apple, his life changed forever (although if he hadn't taken that bite his life would have changed too... it would have changed into death). He left suburbia (which is pretty easy living... so long as you aren't the care giver... but even still, it's really comfortable) to LoWaS (which I just now realized is short for Land of Wind and Shade *2X Facepalm combo*) So, I don't know. Am I analyzing this too much? I don't really think so...

**JESSICA**

ARE they their ancestors? I don't remember. Was their something from when the ancestor's game was restarted? Or did I just misread that too? But yeah, I remember Karkat talking about that, and I'm pretty sure you're right about it being Vriska.

Also, I don't know if this belongs there, but if you go to the MSPAWiki, there are these two "secret" outfits for John. They are... something else to say the least.

**JESSICA**

Hehehe, if you read the MSPAWiki page for Vriska, it says that she has an unrequited matesprit with Nicolas Cage ^^

However, they are missing five of the trolls

"However, he admits that he often just makes things up as he goes along and still gets ideas from forum discussions." (MSPAWiki) If this is true, then maybe the mutterings about Tavros and Gamzee were originally purely fanon, but he made it canon... (I sort of suspected that, by the way)

**KALYN**

LoWaS...how did you not notice that before? I just figured it was an allusion, not an exact parallel. They ARE creating a universe. Except they aren't, since their session wasn't meant to "bear fruit" (another allusion to the same thing?). It's like...a blanket sweep of the book of Genesis. "God created the universe, and then someone ate an apple and NOTHING WOULD EVER BE THE SAME."

The twelve other grubs? Yes. They are their ancestors. Who else would they be?

Link me to the secret outfits?

lol

Yeah, I figured he did that too. I noticed that most people drew Tavros/Gamzee from that one discussion they had, which AH never really finished with the rap, so it would make sense if he went right back to that and was all, "Fine, you want this ship? Here's how it would go down!" Ignore that pun...

**JESSICA**

I don't know, but I was always like "Why are they called LoWaS and LoHaC?"

And I know the 12 other grubs are the ancestors, but was there something about the ancestors being or becoming the current trolls? I guess I don't really know

**KALYN**

The current trolls, in the previous session (pre-scratch, the original session of trolls playing SGRUB) were the ancestors and vice-versa. They couldn't handle the pressures of the game (and also Lord English was involved) so they scratched the session, which caused the roles to be switched.

**JESSICA**

Ok, so they were the same people? That is the point I am confused about.


	20. Moirallegiance is Magic!

We're gonna start off with something only barely relevant to Homestuck, and then dive back into our usual commentary/analysis. I have quite a few theories about various characters' identities, which I think are quite plausible. :D Links include mspaintadventures(dot)com and some unrelated wiki and google searches. Also, a website for ICP. It won't show up at all, but it's pretty awesome. I recommend trying to find any ICP fansite with newsfeeds on it and then read the newsfeeds and revel in the disorganized format of the site itself. I digress...

By the way, I did watch the first two episodes of Friendship is Magic. I love how cheesy it is.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

.org/wiki/My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_is_Magic#Reception

I think I'm gonna start watching this show... O_O

**KALYN**

Just skip down to Internet Following on that page. It's...kind of…wonderful…

**KALYN**

.org/wiki/Juggalo

This explains so much.

**KALYN**

/

You should definitely scroll down to the news feeds there. Just read them, read the language. Do that, and tell me AH wasn't completely influenced by this in some way.

**JESSICA**

Do you think we should have a 10,000 word review on My Little Pony next? Analyzing the shit out of it?

And is that even a question? Did AH use the Juggalos as a base for Gamzee? Say that question outloud and tell me you don't want to shoot yourself to keep any stupid genes from entering the gene pool! (apparently I am a negative nancy today)

Did you watch the Leck Mich Im Arsch trailer at the end? It is hilarious! oh, beautiful!

Beeth-Oven, heheheheh XD

Horrible song, but... I can't stop XD HAHAHAHA So many haters!

**JESSICA**

Oh man. So great! ^^

What does "ninja" mean to these people? ICP used it in LMIA, and then I saw it again in one of the news feeds

**KALYN**

Yeah, I saw Ninja a bunch too, but I didn't watch those videos. I got a paper to write! I was almost going to do it on Bronies and then Juggalos. Now I'm considering Steampunk. Maybe you can help me! Because this prompt is bullshit.

Here, I'll just copy/paste my rant from my conversation with Emily:

**KALYN**

"Choose a subculture. Now choose an element of that subculture. Now say what that element says about that subculture. Give two reasons." It says that that subculture has the fucking element, that's what it says. Twice. For both reasons.

Here's the thing though, one of those doesn't define the whole fucking culture. Which I know isn't the prompt, but I have to put it into context, you know? Each element's reason for being a part of that subculture has something to do with all the other elements in some way

**JESSICA**

Well, knowing the prompt would probably help

nm

Hmmm

that is annoying

**KALYN**

Steampunk is a pretty cool subculture, there's a lot I could say for that. I just need to figure out an "element" that can yield two reasons why it says what it says about that subculture. Such bullshit.

**JESSICA**

Well, what is an element of steampunk?

What makes it unique?

**KALYN**

Well...there's a pretty big DIY and design factor, because with the fashion and like making gadgets and accessories and stuff, they sort of combine invention and style and modify clothes and like...electronics and stuff. So. Creativity, innovation, resourcefulness.

Can't elaborate a whole fucking lot.

Two reasons?

**JESSICA**

Well, how about why do people do this? What is the drive

sure they can make gadgets, but they could make gadgets for other stuf

like secret agents...

**KALYN**

What is the drive for any fandom-based subculture?

It's like a fascination with the Sci-Fi based worlds or the style of the era.

Actually, there's a lot of confusion over the basis of it all.

Basically though

it's like immersing yourself in that setting

of steam-power

**JESSICA**

They're like futuristic gadgets of the 1800s, right?

**KALYN**

like the Industrial Revolution, but in a different direction

Yes, more or less

Think steam-powered everything, and gears. Like...Rube Golberg-esque gadgetry, with all the gears and stuff.

And...other simple machines, haha

Victorian era

**JESSICA**

OK (honestly I only really know the fashion .)

**KALYN**

It's what sparked my interest in it

But the idea of being in this sort of alternate era is a big part of it too.

Like I said, immersing yourself in the fantasy world of flying machines and...clock fanatics.

Inventors and airship pilots and renegades!

It's kinda western too.

Same era as Victorian

different part of the country.

lol

**JESSICA**

It's almost like how things could have been?

**KALYN**

Exactly like how things could have been.

It's the sort of Sci-Fi that happened during the revolution of steam-powered transportation and invention.

So people became enamored with it.

And now it's a subculture.

I think I might talk about the creation aspect of it.

How it shows that they embrace the spirit of the genre, the spirit of invention and innovation that was all over that fantasy world.

**JESSICA**

And the era they are emolating

The creativity of the the science-fiction of the Victorian Era

**KALYN**

So I need two reasons now.

1:

DIY

They pretty much make everything they wear or use.

Or they modify it in some way.

**JESSICA**

So the innovation is the element you are using?

hmmm

**KALYN**

I think style is the element I'm using.

Rather than like...music or behavior or ideology.

**JESSICA**

ok…

**KALYN**

The style=embracing the spirit.

Reason 1: spirit of innovation/invention/creativity

**KALYN**

I guess.

Reason 2 could just be that they are embracing it because they want to become a part of it. For the whole immersion thing.

Like roleplaying.

Imagination.

Imagination fuels invention.

BAN

BAM*

Epic fail.

**JESSICA**

Yup ^^ haha

you got your topic?

**KALYN**

Think so!

Now to write it.

**JESSICA**

Woo!

**KALYN**

BTW, my class is totally at 8:30 am

tomorrow

**JESSICA**

Ha! Have fun, when did you get the assignment?

**KALYN**

...Friday?

**JESSICA**

You silly goose! You should have asked me sooner!

anyway, i'll let you get to work

**KALYN**

I was deliberately procrastinating!

**JESSICA**

no kidding

you shot yourself in the foot

**KALYN**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

way to go!

**KALYN**

Nah, I'll be fine

I'm pretty talented with words and shit

And also it won't be graded.

**JESSICA**

yes, and shit

**KALYN**

I don't even need a conclusion yet

**JESSICA**

oh!

well

that's wonderful motivation!

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

But yeah, Imma go pee and then get to writing this bad boy

You should see my prompt handout by the way

All my scribblings

**JESSICA**

Well, you know what, at least you actually have to write papers, you know? So far I've just had worksheet like stuff and questionarres x.x

I would love to

**KALYN**

That would be a good thing though. Papers are bleh.

anyway

First I have:

Juggalos (underlined)

**KALYN**

-ICP following

-associated with violence

-come from all walks of life

-the Family

**KALYN**

And then a big X through all that

Beneath that:

**KALYN**

Nudists (underlined)

-naturists-bond w/ nature...

(squiggly line crossout!)

**JESSICA**

you know, yiou could have hit the groud running with the whole Juggalos thing

**KALYN**

Then: Hippies (underlined)

This one's completely ignored. No cross out or anything.

**JESSICA**

It's overdone!

**KALYN**

Right beside that is the Steampunk one and actual coherent ideas with a plan that I just came up with right now. With you.

Yeah, I was legitimately gonna do Juggalos, I was all excited with the Wikipedia article. But then I found that other website that I sent you, and as I read it I suddenly didn't understand anything. I couldn't do it anymore.

Also I couldn't find any other information site with more actual information to lend that wasn't either completely sarcastic or like a Juggalo news site. Which was hilariously formatted, by the way.

I love the categories: "Psychopath news" "Site updates" "Other news" "Newsfeed" "Send us news" etc...

and "Wikidpedia"

Really wish that one was intentional.

**JESSICA**

me too

**KALYN**

Anyway, I should probably start writing this bitch. Thanks for your help with the talking and ideas thing!

**JESSICA**

hyup

later!

**KALYN**

finished!

**KALYN**

awwwww

you left

**KALYN**

Meant to say this earlier today. Remember when I was speculating about how Aradia came into possession of that laptop (which turned out to be John's dad's)? Well Lil Cal had the wallet with that laptop, Bec Noir had taken Lil Cal, and he used him to fight the Aradia bots. One bot exploded with Lil Cal and got into a meteor and landed near Aradia's home (pre-death and while she still had an affinity for archaeology). So she got the laptop, along with a hat and the remains of Lil Cal and an Aradia bot. Still to wonder is how exactly Gamzee came into possession of Lil Cal.

**KALYN**

Alright, I'm out now.

Just kidding, I'm back again!

Apparently talking with 0s instead of o's means you're doomed. Aradia was doomed, she used them all her life. As god tier Aradia, she ditched that. After she died, one of the Aradia bots ditched it as well, saying "I guess I don't have to talk like I'm doomed anymore." Sollux is doomed now. This is confirmed, Aradiabot told him. That's why he talks like that I guess.

**KALYN**

Aradia gave Cal pieces to Sollux to give to Kanaya, who stitched him up and put him in an outfit resembling the Felt.

Tavros and Aradia both wrote the genetic code for Doc Scratch (I believe). The letters from the words Tick Tock. Only...I think with a 1 and a 0 instead of i and o.

Vriska also wrote some code. The highlighted scrawling is "8r8k".

Terezi wrote the code piece "H34DS". Aradia mused about how one of the "scourge" had three letters and the other five. "Why the scale was tipped this way between the sisters, I cannot say." Probably paraphrasing there. But it's interesting. Terezi kinda defeats Vriska doesn't she. "T1CK T0CK 8R8K H34DS" Totally seems to foreshadow that bit with the clock in Scratch's den when Vriska's about to die. Remember? It's ticking and tocking between a heroic or a just death, and is about to settle on the line between so she won't die. Then Slick breaks the clock (I think it's Slick.) Then the coin flip has a conclusion. Probably heads, since there are only heads on the coin. Good and bad heads. And the Terezi kills Vriska.

**KALYN**

Then there's an additional eight symbols to this code "from a wild card source". "honk HONK" guess who.

According to Aradiabot, it came from a doomed timeline that she had come from.

In this timeline, Gamzee flew off the handle and went on a murdering spree. He managed to at least kill Karkat and I think Terezi, by the looks of it. And to record the code in that bloody tome we see Doc Scratch using as a scrapbook. Aradiabot brought back the tome as proof of his madness, but it was destroyed when Rose blew up Eridan's computer. I think. That computer explosion. Might've been another. Lots of things explode in this story.

**KALYN**

No, sorry. explosion caused by a computer virus. So...Karkat's computer? perhaps.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005512

Lil Cal was used in the creation of Doc Scratch.

**KALYN**

I find this extremely disturbing.

**KALYN**

So I guess I can start writing acknowledgement pages for my essays now in that class. "Special thanks: Jessica Lauermann, for bouncing ideas and asking the questions that led me to this thesis."

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005517

Jack has a robot arm in this. Why...? Is this...after a bunch of stuff? When did he acquire this?

**KALYN**

Alright so I scrolled back up and saw that I never answered your question about the lab next to Rose's house. Remember when she finds that bedroom? It's totally Aradia's ancestor's bedroom, the one on that vessel of Scratch's. I think the lab could have been that vessel, or built afterward, but in any case it most likely belongs to Scratch, since it's all green. He has his proteges, you know, whom he likes to use to put his plans into motion, and Rose is definitely one of them. "SkaiaNet" maybe, or it could be something like "ScratchNet" or something. Who knows? I can totally see Hussie making a Terminator reference though. Like an end-of-the-world message thing, like symbolism. Like if we're reading literature and it's winter, we know death is gonna happen soon. We're reading a webcomic and we see SkaiaNet, you better believe the world is ending!

**KALYN**

"I won't crack no matter how senseless the drubbing. If only it were that simple." Is what Scratch says when Slick (with the robotic arm) starts bludgeoning him. I'm guessing this is after a bunch of stuff. Because Scratch wants to die.

Ya know, I think I kind of liked Scratch before he got all long-winded with his troll fanfiction.

**KALYN**

"The keeper of my ectobiological father began the process.

It must be finished.

TT: Who?

The guardian of the Knight of Time. "

Yeah, Bro totally did that during that battle with Jack.

**KALYN**

"I find your stories entertaining.

TT: You're being creepy again.

No I'm not.

Besides, the White King agrees with me."

Haha. I said this. WK was reading her journals.

**KALYN**

Okay. Two objectives: Destroy the Green Sun to kill Scratch and destroy the power of the first guardians in Noir; and Scratch the session so that a new one may be created that might be successful. Because apparently that's also important. Rose was mistaken in thinking that the Scratch opened the rift to let Noir into the trolls' session. It had nothing to do with that, according the Scratch, and he says that if they are creative enough, they may be able to find a way to preserve themselves after the Scratch so that they don't fall into oblivion. They'll be disconnected from the new session, but they'll still exist if they can manage it. So really in order to do this, they should figure out what caused the rift that allowed Noir into the trolls' session. That's probably how they plan to meet.

There are two Scratches in this paragraph, by the way. Try to discern them from one another.

**KALYN**

Scratch brought up the god tier. He said Rose will be able to decide whether she ascends to it. A heroic death would certainly describe that suicide mission she intends to go on, maybe, and none of the trolls can see her after a certain point, so we don't know for sure. It could happen.

There is another quest bed somewhere besides on her planet.

Hm.

Wait no, that was backwards. Heroic deaths kill god tiers. But still, it could happen.

**KALYN**

"My master can't enter this universe until I am killed.

Such is the nature of the break.

TT: That almost sounds like martyrdom. Are you sure it won't be a hero's death?

Quite sure.

My master is a very evil man."

So he has a concept of good and evil, and knows that Lord English is evil. He doesn't seem very evil himself, just... a servant I guess. Like he really has no choice, it was the reason he was created, he knows LE is evil, and yet doesn't seem to have any qualms with it. Also..."this universe." Are we considering their universe and the trolls' to be two universes? And if Scratch is the first guardian for Alternia, then why would he concern himself with talking to Rose to have LE enter her universe? We know when he enters the trolls' universe, that happened very recently, hundreds of years after they all played the game. Is he only talking about the trolls' universe and talking to Rose from it? Then why would destroying only the Green Sun in her session manage to affect the first guardian of a separate session? Is this an obscure plothole I've found, or is it just a convoluted loophole, or perhaps it will become clearer later?

**KALYN**

That was a big wall of text. My message box grew a scroll bar!

**KALYN**

"What would you say if I said a dutiful girl raised in the daylight was protected by a bulb-headed guardian, and learned to glow in the dark after death?

What would you say if I said a vengeful boy on a path of nihilism was taken under the wings of fearsome angels, and learned to destroy hope with their light?"

Scratch, trying to convince Rose of something to do with her abilities, brings up Kanaya and Eridan. Why those two? What would she learn from those stories?

**KALYN**

The initial of Jade's "grandson"/penpal/potential grandpa? is J.

Who's Terry Kiser? That's what J. (which is how I will refer to him from now on) named the rabbit, Liv Tyler.

"Hes surely got enough juice in him to make them enormous if you wish. But thats silly what would you even do with say a magic needle the size of a skyscraper for instance? Preposterous!" Scratch a session. That's what you would do with it.

That is precisely what you would do.

They will take one of Echidna's quills, make it huge with Liv Tyler/Terry Kiser, and Scratch that massive disc on LoHaC.

Speaking of Land ofs, today my speech teacher, while we were doing impromptu speeches and had to go into the hallway to prepare while the person before us was speaking, said something that totally made me think of them.

He said that when the first girl was ready, she could start speaking, and then "we will exile David to the Land of Wind and Ghosts" and I was like haha.

Grandson seems to be the canon here.

"See you soon pal. J."

Well I guess they won't be using Liv to hugefy those quills anytime soon. WV? ate her green eye.

Guessing Cal got that wallet when Noir had him and got Aradiabot with him and they two were sent back to Alternia

through the series of events after John gave WV? the wallet to deliver the tumor to Derse and CD? pickpocketed WV?.

Maybe.

Strangely when he sends them off, though, Jade is pestering WV?. And I think she's wearing her Iron Lass suit, judging by those colors.

Oh no she is pestering John. But WV? has the wallet with the computer in it. haha.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005614

When you click on the words, the last frame, you see all the colored dots. Four red ones, for the first four acts, blue for Hivebent and then red for the end of Act 5. It's like the curtains. Rose went through curtains during the Descend minigame thing that followed the color patterns too. Then for disc 2 there are only 2 circles. Green and white. It could just be those colors because they haven't been "filled" yet (or fulfilled, rather). But it makes me wonder if there is only a couple of these acts left in the comic.

**KALYN**

Oh but Disc 2 is missing. Why is that? Who took it? What effect does this have on the story?

"You wonder where you are? This is a fancy looking room. It doesn't look like a place you would expect to find on this meteor, at least not in any strictly canonical capacity." So...this isn't canon? haha

She finds disc Two of Homestuck, which is small and looks exactly like the giant disc in LoHaC (already forgot the name of it). Then she stupidly sticks it on a record player and the needle scratches it. Nice thinly veiled allusion there!

And that's how we got into that whole Doc Scratch arc.

The green circle, perhaps? Probably.

Then there's just the white one left!

Hey remember Karkat's note from Gamzee/"Terezi" about the makeouts? There was a note written to Terezi from "Vriska" in Gamzee's blood to get her up to the roof to fight her.

So Gamzee kind of just wanted a party or something, huh.

"sis. ROOF. NOW. 8ring the puppet."

I like how they both rely on luck. Vriska with her dice and Terezi with her coin. Except Terezi makes her own luck, because she rarely allows the coin to make her decision, if at all. Ever. I don't think she ever does.

So, Vriska relies on luck and Terezi only pretends to before she makes the circumstances suit her likeness herself.

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=005653

His Honorable Tyranny himself.

**KALYN**

Note in case it comes into some sort of play later: Scratch talked to Mindfang (much like Vriska) and one of his "dark spots" was Darkleer (Equius' ancestor). He couldn't really see much about him or around him.

Could be why Scratch had no idea Vriska had that cue ball, because she lived near Equius.

Also, for timeline references, the Summoner (Tavros' ancestor) wasn't even around during the Sufferer's rebellion. He was hatched centuries later, and then would supposedly be Mindfang's matesprit.

He would also lead a rebellion of his own against Highbloods.

Then apparently it was after this rebellion that adults were banished from Alternia by the Condesce.

Okay. I am now int he green room.

**JESSICA**

Ah, that makes sense! I thought the 0s thing was only after you were dead, but yeah. Makes sense now.

**KALYN**

.?s=6&p=005666

Green circle is act 6. It hasn't been filled with a curtain color yet. So there's that left, and then the Critical Moment.

**KALYN**

I'll try to shut up now and let you answer things from a long time ago.

**JESSICA**

Yes please^^

Or the room isn't there canonically? Well, it's not entirely within the fourth wall, now is it?

**KALYN**

Information overload in Scratch's room. I think he lied about not lying. Or maybe he's just misleading a lot. He misled Rose to fall into that grimdark thing, and then she got all revengey and got herself killed. DreamRose still exists, but it's even more of a suicide mission now to destroy the Green Sun.

**KALYN**

By the way, Vriska would have been able to defeat Bec Noir. It's just that he would have killed everyone else first before they dueled.

While Terezi was seeing that offshoot timeline with Vriska, Sn0wball was seeing one with Slick and the Felt in Scratch's "apartment". In the banners at the top there. So.

**KALYN**

.?s=6&p=005767

You know, based on this conversation, you would think Karkat had to kill Gamzee or something. Huh.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, that's what I thought when I read that conversation between Kar and John. He shoulldn't have been devestated by what he had to do unless he killed him. Although, actually, I think I might have mentioned this before, That he felt like he should have acted sooner. If you think about it, it makes sense. So many people died, and all it would have taken to save them was for Karkat to pat Gamzee on the cheek. *shrug* Then only Eridan and Feferi would have died (or maybe not?). Which, if that were the case, that seemse interesting. They are the ones with the highest blood, and Feferi was going to become the next empress (or whatever the name for it was). So maybe they are going to get rid of the hemo-heirarchy once and for all?

Would it have really been worth it if Bec Noir killed all the other trolls? I don't know. I don't think so.

By Sn0wball do you mean Snowman? Or am I just confused?

**JESSICA**

Gosh, I keep being thrown off by how happy Aradia is when she's not DEAD!

I would like to apologize for thinking that SkaiaNet was from Terminator. I now know it was in fact SkyNet.

**KALYN**

Sn0wman. Yes. ROFL. I'm retarded.

SkyNet...close enough!

**KALYN**

Why does Scratch want Sn0wman dead? Just wondering what purpose that serves if he's the one that offered her that opportunity in the first place when she was exiled.

**KALYN**

.?s=6&p=005771

Silhouette of Echidna there in the corner.

**KALYN**

CG: IT INVOLVES SOMETHING TO DO WITH A YELLOW LAWN RING.

CG: WHICH ISN'T THE HUMAN WORD FOR IT, IT'S JUST YOUR WORD IS SO DUMB I FEEL DUMB SAYING IT.

EB: word for what?

CG: I GUESS YOUR ENTIRE ESCAPE PLAN SOMEHOW PIVOTS CRITICALLY AROUND AN UNWATERED PIECE OF RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY?

...a sidewalk? What is he talking about?

**KALYN**

I don't feel like posting links and conversation snippets, so I'll just paraphrase. "The Forge(?)" is the reason Jade's out in that skimpy dress-it's heating everything up. Um...both Rose and Dave have only a dream self left, so now there's no way they can all stay alive and still accomplish this mission. There was something else, but I can't remember it right now. Um...Nepeta will probably find love in the dream bubbles, based on her conversation with Jaspersprite. Or at least it will happen for her after she dies. Because she's dead now, and nothing happened for her yet.

**KALYN**

I think sprites are immortal to some extent. Davesprite was down, but he managed to survive that battle with Noir. He's pretty beaten up, but he's alive.

**KALYN**

The Forge is her volcano, and she totally lit it and stuff. I think to wake Echidna.

Whoever fedorafreak is, he's playing the game and he's in the medium and has just ascended to god tier. Wouldn't it just be odd if it was Hussie?

I think he said at some point that he would begin affecting the story in a more canonical and direct manner.

I wonder how Betty Crocker disappeared? Because apparently that just happened.

Not *just* but you know. She just disappeared and then Nanna was all free and stuff.

The "baroness" was not human!

8O

So...what was she? Where was she from?

I like how Dave identified himself as a "tight end" in some horrible sports metaphor he was making about how Rose stole the moon mission from him. Just because it has some gay undertones there.

Wonder what Rose wanted Dave to tell John? Before she was distracted.

Oh shit and then DD comes in and is all stabby and shit. What's gonna happen with him and Rose on the moon?

Dave wakes up on Derse and just flies toward the moon to help Rose. I anticipate an epic battle! Maybe

As Dave is doing that, Davesprite just told Jadesprite about a legendary sword that he got Hephaestus to fix. Then he got Jadesprite to poof it to Dave with her space powers. Should be helpful!

Vriska's denizen was Cetus, just like Rose's.

**KALYN**

When Jade has that memory of the frog she needed from a long time ago, her pajamas have a green diamond with "SN" in it.

And that special frog of hers is white with huge eyes that flash different colors. Much like someone we know with flashing pool ball eyes...

I wonder how Jade will manage to bring all the denizens with them into the rift? She promised she would...

**KALYN**

.?s=6&p=005890

Okay. Here's a link. It's Jade's grandpa, riding a meteor with all of his trophies back to earth. See Typheus there? haha

**KALYN**

The Vast Croak is the Big Bang and the Vast Glub is a trollian apocalypse.

**KALYN**

Yay.

Then we have the Vast Honk, that Gamzee anticipates... o.0

I know I said this before. But the inhuman Betty Crocker is the one that sent Dave that link to the ICP video that he sent to Gamzee. It was even like...URL'd in Gamzee's style. So. She's some sort of evil. What if she's like...Lord English's mistress or someshit wouldn't that be hilarious?

**KALYN**

And then Gamzee claims to have given their universe cancer as well as Karkat. But Karkat accidentally and Gamzee intentionally...with clowns. Karkat calls it cancer, Gamzee says it's terminal. But still haha.

Being redundant with shit I said a long time ago...

Who even reads this shit anymore? lol

Gamzee's main correspondent/confidant at this point is Cal. Cal plays an annoyingly huge part in this story. Gamzee was called the "most important character in Homestuck." And Gamzee plans on listening to what Cal has to tell him and actually taking advice from Cal now that his religion is gone.

**KALYN**

So Cal tells him to murder some people. I think I said this before too. But yeah. REDUNDANCY!

**KALYN**

.?s=6&p=005961

You know what? This reminds me, in a weird way, of the Betty Crocker symbol. It's the Condesce's symbol. What if she's the inhuman evil baroness Betty Crocker that was used by LE or Scratch to manipulate the medium by sending that video to Dave?

**KALYN**

.com/?game=save&s=6&p=006000

This is a bit...misleading? Literally. When you click that nice looking image there, it takes you straight to Jailbreak. I've already read as much as I feel like of Jailbreak. -sigh-

**JESSICA**

AH wants you to read his other stuff if you haven't all ready while waiting for the next installment of Homestuck to come out

I would say the only one really worth reading is Problem Sleuth, if only because it has the same sort of epic tone as Homestuck

The others are only really worth it to get some inside jokes he throws in.

Also, I would not be surprised if the fedorafreak was AH, since he starts wearing godly pajamas. So maybe that is who he is (I ended a sentence in a verb, get over it!). Fedorafreak did die at one point, is that what you were talking about with him ascending to godtier?

I was about to say I don't really see that much of a similarity between the Condesce's trident and Betty Crocker's spoon, but now I do, now I do. What does she have to gain then? Why would she do that? Damn you Hussie for throwing a wrench into things!

I'm going to say I agree with everything you just said and there is little reason for me to rephrase all of your statements. Now I will look again and see what questions I undoubtedly missed.

**JESSICA**

The guardian's numbers seem to be 413. Admittedly, all I have to base that off is Dad's username: Pipefan413, but where does Mom work? She has to work somewhere doesn't she? And wouldn't it make total sense if she worked at the lab? Don't her clothes kind of look like a lab coat? Or am I just not remembering right?

I have no idea about Bro or Bec though.

**JESSICA**

Supposedly DD is angrier than SS, but I don't know. What was Rose's symbol again? Wasn't she the diamond? Or was that Jade and I just want Rose to be the diamond?

Yellow Brick Road. Think about it

and I don't blame you for calling her Sn0wball. It seems more fitting that Sn0wman for some reason. Maybe because Sn0wman is a masculine name (hence the "man) while Sn0wball is feminine.

**KALYN**

I don't think ending a sentence with a verb is problematic. It's ending a sentence with a preposition.

What does she have to gain? Nothing. Except either death or immortality (depending on her wish) if she obeys Lord English in his schemes.

Mom does wear a lab coat. So that makes total sense.

**KALYN**

I don't know if Jade and Rose have been concretely paired with a symbol like John and Dave have. We saw the similar videos with the insight into their lives as they grew up when John had a spades shirt and Dave had a hearts shirt. I don't think we've had that with the girls though.

But color-wise, it would make sense.

...Why are you telling me to think about the Yellow Brick Road?

And where is DD supposedly angrier than SS? I know he's kind of the guy that does all the dirty work (or at least all that's necessary for Slick's plans besides destroying everything). What would make him angrier?

Anyway, earlier when I pointed out the green diamond with SN in it on Jade's pajamas, I was relating it to that green lab with SN that Rose was in. In case that wasn't clear.

**KALYN**

Okay, to keep track of my connections: I think Betty Crocker is the Condesce, fedorafreak is AH, and there is a very slight chance that J. (Jade's penpal) is her grandpa. It's either him, or we just haven't met J. yet. Now to determine why Gamzee is "the most important character in Homestuck."

**JESSICA**

I thought I read somewhere that he was angrier. I'll just have to keep an eye open for that while I reread it. The Yellow Brick Road... It made sense at the time, but I don't remember now 2orry! I'll try and avoid these half thought through thoughts from now on... Or at least try and make them make sense.

**JESSICA**

Also, I am such a troll XD One of the people I trolled before (in German) totally just texted me back after over 2 months. Now I'm saying that I have been working on my English, but it's horribly atrocious XD

"I have on my English to work! It is good you to meet" atrocious!

**KALYN**

hahahahahaha! That's great!

**JESSICA**

So, I just thought of something that totally shouldn't be true, but would be totally awesome. Maybe the reason Betty Crocker is so evil is because she created internet cookies XD You know, she bakes everything else, so why not those XD Oh, I kill myself. Sorry for the pun.

**KALYN**

I love it. lol


	21. Totally Unrelated Bullshit

This chapter has barely anything to do with Homestuck at all! You have my permission to skip this chapter, unless you're interested in our silly verdicts on random things like the new Kingdom Hearts game and the Japanese music video for Lucifer, or our analyses of characters based on horoscopes. Most of these links are from youtube. Whatever isn't probably came from some astrology website. Uhh, I mentioned DeliriousBiznasty on Youtube. If you're into Homestuck mashups, he does those (mostly with Eminem, but there are some others) so go check him out. There's also a link to a different person on Youtube who does mashups that are less rap, but I can't remember who that was. Other random shenanigans are here too. (I love Yahoo! Answers. I am a fucking guru on there!) What else... I like doing misheard lyrics for K-Pop songs! So that might explain some of the conversation later... Anyway. Skip if you don't give a shit about anything beyond our Homestuck analyses! The next chapter gets back on track.

...Why the hell do I even share this on here? I'm so mental.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

.com/watch?v=RhvNgouXG4k

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:DDDDDDDDD

I have mixed feelings. I love the new characters and the fact that HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME is finally in it! But it also seems a bit cheesy, bringing in cliché-sounding elements like "The Key of Dreams" and the new foes, Dream Eaters. And I think it's a game within a game. But I'm very interested in the new character, Neku!

**KALYN**

Gameplay looks like the type I'm not fond of as well, but I would gladly watch someone else play it! Also I think it might just be for smaller consoles right now, judging on the gameplay and the quality of the cutscenes.

**JESSICA**

yeah, i think it's supposed to be for the 3DS, maybe? I don't know. James mentioned one of them being sort of like Namine messed something up? So I don't know. We'll just have to see!

Yeah, definitely 3DS, at least that version. It's got the A and X command buttons (which is for Nintendo systems), you can rub that adorable(! Oh so cute! X3) Dream Eater's belly, and then I'm pretty sure that one part with the bat was supposed to simulate the 3D-ness it will have.

**JESSICA**

By the way, Riku's hair? I do not like...

**KALYN**

Meh. I don't mind it.

**KALYN**

Good news: Got 50 blank CDs, so I'm burning Homestuck albums. I have them all done (the albums I already had), so now they can get off my computer and make room for the ones I don't yet have!

Oh, and I botched the first one, so 49 useful blank CDs.

**JESSICA**

Heheheheh

I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire! (Hoo-aaaah) I'm a vampire! Let's cut the chit chat. Boner, b-b-boner.

**JESSICA**

gehehehehe

It's not me! It's spam! Whenever you see it, just report it or something.

That's what I've been doing, and most of all, don't click on the link.

**KALYN**

Yeah, I clicked on it the first time. Like a moron.

Hopefully it's not gonna kill my computer. That would suck.

I've begun to put together our amazing misheard lyrics video. It's finished up to "Hey Joe!" which isn't that far in the song, but it's quite amazing and beautiful.

I'm pretty darn good at finding good clips

!*

**JESSICA**

You shouldn't kill it, it hasn't killed mine, it's just a nuisance. Unless it is just sitting and waiting until the perfect time, at which point your computer will explode, literally.

**KALYN**

...Literally?...great...

At least I can feel empathetic to Karkat, which would be kind of awesome.

But...I also would be empathetic to Eridan, which is less awesome.

**JESSICA**

hahaha

**KALYN**

So...you know how I'm putting together the clips and stuff for our video? It's gonna be a mystery what clips I'll be able to use for the lines: When I'm tired, I go to borrow a bra / The money had a nut, it's in that bowl

That's where I am right now. I have some plans for after that though. And we still need to come up with some lyrics for the chorus. I think I can do that later this week.

I might come up with something obscure though. I got a clip from Disney's Robin Hood for "The church on a good day ain't got much" and PotC: Dead Man's Chest for "Key's gonna open, the money diamond had been" which was a bit obscure, but it got the point across.

And then He-Man of course at some point, but he was actually in the lyrics, so.

Similarly, Took is already in it and Grimmjow will be later on. And maybe Baby Triggy for "Triggadigg". I could make it like "Trigg, ya dig?" or someshit.

**KALYN**

how long have you been on?

**JESSICA**

a little bit

not that long

**KALYN**

Been goofing off on Yahoo answers

**JESSICA**

oooh

**KALYN**

Lemme send you my favorite answer from tonight:

**JESSICA**

...

this is taking a while .

**KALYN**

sorry I had to find it

here is the question: I need some conflict in my story . I'm stuck. ( 10th grade English) any topic. So far I have that me and some friends are in Vegas staying in the Luxor hotel and the desk lady gave us the wrong room key and gave us the key to the room that Chris angel lives in. And Chris angel gets really mad and my friend Zach argued with him so Chris angel made him disappear .'. Now I'm stuck. Ideas please?

**JESSICA**

so, anyway, while you're getting on that, I've decided to do national novel writing month

**KALYN**

Here is my answer: So then you beg Chris Angel to make Zach reappear, but he won't do it unless you find him five orphans to be his magical assistants. So you go to a foster home to try to adopt some kids, but the home won't release any children to you unless you have the proper paperwork. Luckily, another friend of yours knows a guy who knows a guy who can make some very convincing counterfeit paperwork for you! So you head into a dingy side street to his rundown hole-in-the-wall headquarters to ask him for a favor. He agrees, but only if you do him a personal favor in return. He has been dying to ask out [celebrity of choice] and knows that he/she happens to be staying in CircusCircus, but he can't get into the VIP room of the casino! He asks you to bring said celebrity to him. So you concoct a plan to get into the VIP room of the casino, involving disguises to make one (or more) of you look like Christopher Walken! (or a different celebrity of your choice.) Because one of you is great at impressions! You manage to get in and talk to the celebrity. They won't come with you just for some fan, so you tell him/her that you need them for a charity event for sick orphans who want their autograph! But they can't bring any publicity. Because of the kids. They wouldn't want to be seen, because of their hideous sickness. They are moved by your story and agree to sneak away to see the orphans, and are surprised to be brought to a counterfeit document maker instead! But they still trust your judgment, because Christopher Walken is well known for his wisdom and trustworthiness. You can now get the documents, and then go adopt the orphans, and then bring to to be hired for Chris Angel's show, and then he reappears Zach and you all go back to the front desk to get the right room key! Who knows how the celebrity and counterfeiter's story turned out, but I'm sure it'll be fun to come up with!

**JESSICA**

how convenient!

holy cow x.x

**KALYN**

Do you like it?

**JESSICA**

hahahah

that's great

I really hope the kid chooses to go off yours ^^

**KALYN**

I especially like Christopher Walken's cameo.

Hope so too, lol

**JESSICA**

yeah, no kidding

ah, that's great XD

**KALYN**

Christopher Walken is well known for his wisdom and trustworthiness. Where do I come up with this stuff?

**JESSICA**

yeah! i really enjoyed that part

**KALYN**

So anyway. Do you have any ideas for clips to use for those obscure lines for the video?

**JESSICA**

i haven't a clue

**KALYN**

haha oh well

I'll think of something eventually

…

**JESSICA**

*cough* so...

do you see that thing on my profile page?

**KALYN**

lol

Sims

**JESSICA**

*cough cough*

**KALYN**

You should check mine out too lol

I have 3

**JESSICA**

lol

ok

lol, ok

i'll click on them for you

or maybe not...

**KALYN**

?

**JESSICA**

it's bein stuuuupid

**KALYN**

the game? It's getting a bit glitchy for me right now

**JESSICA**

yeah, it always does x.x

i click on things, but i don't know if they work, but they tell me that i can't click them again! so i don't know!

**KALYN**

I got one I think

I don't know which one

It might have just been an energy thing though

**JESSICA**

excellent (said like a villain stroking a cat or steepling her fingers)

oh, darn

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

so, back to what i said

about national novel writing month (or nanowrimo since it's shorter)

i'm having trouble coming up with something to write about

**KALYN**

haha

ummmm

any parameters?

**JESSICA**

and i would like to have a plot before i start...

yes

it all has to be written in November, only prep work can be done before or after

and it has to be 175 pages or 50,000 words

which, i know i can write, the only problem is actually having something TO write

**KALYN**

hmmm so is there a prompt or anything? Or do you just have to get writing?

**JESSICA**

just write

i've got a couple ideas, but i'm not sure if they can stand 50,000 words

**KALYN**

yeah…

**JESSICA**

and i would use one of the stories i all ready have, except i've started them all ready

**KALYN**

yeah. hm…

**JESSICA**

although some are truly crap...

**KALYN**

what sorts of ideas do you have? I need something creative to build on

**JESSICA**

lol

ok

wel, like i said, one of my own stories

that i all ready have started (and just start it over)

i have a "twilight" parody thing, where i mock that genre, but i would like to do it well, you know? to the point no one realizes i'm making fun of it

**KALYN**

haha

interesting

how would you do that?

**JESSICA**

i've all ready sort of have an idea for that

a girl falls in love with a demon or something

but all he wants to do is eat her...

but he's a demon!

or, i think my other idea was that demon worshipers need a sacrifice?

something like that

**KALYN**

demon worshippers need a sacrifice?

**JESSICA**

yeah, i dunno

i was thinking they were going to try and summon a demo

lol

yes

a demo XD

**KALYN**

oh ok ha

I summon demos all the time

Like mashups and shit

sick beats

speaking of which

get on youtube and search DeliriousBiznasty

it's a username

**JESSICA**

ok

now i have to pause shinee

**KALYN**

what song?

**JESSICA**

Wowowow

**KALYN**

:D

**JESSICA**

exploring eastwood?

or does it not matter?

nice

**KALYN**

just check out his stuff

he does mashups

**JESSICA**

yeah, i see that

and hear it

**KALYN**

My favorite I think is the one for forgot about Dre. With the Striders.

it fits really well

**JESSICA**

ok

mmm

i don't think i like Beatdown (Dre Style)...

**KALYN**

some don't match up as well as others

**JESSICA**

yeah

hmmm...

i don't know about WithOutMeGaLoVania...

**KALYN**

That one was one I didn't like much

Or maybe it was White America (whatever that one was called)

**JESSICA**

America Ultimatum?

i haven't listened to that one yet

**KALYN**

yes

**JESSICA**

actually, WithOutMeGaLoVania isn't too bad..

other than Eminem's voice, which is annoying

**JESSICA**

When I'm in Oblivion seems to fit a little better

**KALYN**

yeah

I think you clicking links was very helpful. I got at least two.

**JESSICA**

:D

**KALYN**

Got em all!

**JESSICA**

woo!

so, i actually like John's Dad a lot

Showtime (Animal Mix) I do not like so much

**KALYN**

hm. don't remember those much. Showtime...the Gorillaz one?

**JESSICA**

no someone else

the first one i listened to was the Gorillaz one

**KALYN**

oh yeah

**JESSICA**

i don't know what to think of this...

.com/watch?v=XbElWuoG8NI&feature=related

**KALYN**

I just died.

**JESSICA**

oh

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

Killed by Br8k Superman is also decent

well, it worked together, but i really didn't like the song

hmmm

**KALYN**

haha well opinions

**JESSICA**

American Ultimatum is ... not so great...

**KALYN**

I didn't mind the eminem mashups

no that one doesn't fit so well

**JESSICA**

some of the eminem mashups are good, but then others aren't that good

**KALYN**

nah, I didn't mind any of them as long as they fit the rhythms well enough.

**JESSICA**

meh

i can appreciate it when it matches the rhythm, but that doesn't mean i'm going to like the song

**KALYN**

ha

Whatever strikes your fancy

**JESSICA**

hyup

the Upward Insanity (B-Real Owns) doesn't really work either

**KALYN**

meh. whatevs

haha

**JESSICA**

made my day: .com/watch?v=fn5BCyTroTc&feature=related

**KALYN**

lawl

**JESSICA**

there are a ton of videos on youtube! (derp derp derp)

for homestuck that is

**KALYN**

lol

yeah

and I still cannot complete the Homestuck Vol 1-6

**JESSICA**

?

**KALYN**

I download the songs from the albums from youtube

I have all of them except Volumes 1-6

**JESSICA**

oh, ok

**KALYN**

.com/user/DreadfulRay#p/c/B51CAA87759387C9/4/Tf36eBD7oTM

Check this shit out mofo!

**JESSICA**

that's cool

**KALYN**

No. Enthusiasm. Whatsoever.

haha

**JESSICA**

...

THAT'S THE MOST SPECTACULAR THING I HAVE EVER HEARD ON THE INTERNET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE! I COULD DIE TOMORROW AND DIE HAPPY! THANK YOU KALYN FOR MAKING MY LIFE COMPLETE!

oh, GPI, you make me happy ^^

**KALYN**

lololololololololol

**JESSICA**

.com/watch?v=7jreUuzIqkc&feature=related

**KALYN**

.com/user/DreadfulRay#p/c/3/WfUUD4BCfqI

**JESSICA**

XD .com/watch?v=uJF_rYHE8Ew&feature=autoplay&list=ULOZ74A8txBfQ&lf=mfu_in_order&playnext=1

who is that singing?

**KALYN**

Dunno haha

**JESSICA**

sort of makes me think of the beatles, but i'm not sure...

**KALYN**

Lol

**JESSICA**

.com/watch?v=8FsA5sh88V0&feature=autoplay&list=ULZdzo3eqg6pY&lf=mfu_in_order&playnext=1

wtf! .com/watch?v=a7wNKK41lYw&feature=autoplay&list=UL8FsA5sh88V0&lf=mfu_in_order&playnext=2

.com/watch?v=hjF3rQvwexg&feature=related

**KALYN**

hang on!

haha

**JESSICA**

that last one kills me XD

.com/watch?v=5JXfRbq3NWM&feature=related

I'M SPAMMING YOU!

**KALYN**

there's so much shit with homestuck and spongebob

**JESSICA**

...

that is so wrong...

**KALYN**

... sarcasm? or response to something other than what I just said? ... cause that last vid was definitely spongebob shit

**JESSICA**

oh...

i didn't know

brb

**KALYN**

dude wanna see a bunch of buildings in our school to a lady gaga medley?

totally random, but... yeah. i have one... via youtube

.com/watch?v=854oZgIC8WU

in fact there it is

**JESSICA**

that's silly

**KALYN**

.com/watch?v=d7FcDoekIHk

Check out my status for a great reaction to it.

**JESSICA**

ok

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

wierd...

lol

"It's cause Taemin's legal now, guys!" XD

**KALYN**

weird*

XD yes

She's adorable

**JESSICA**

whatever

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

i will type wierd however i want!

**KALYN**

werid!

**JESSICA**

what is a proper creeper face?

**KALYN**

((:D))

**JESSICA**

for smileys that is

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

?

:D

but, that's more like a happy face?

the "happy" on Skype would work

**KALYN**

Nevermind, it's a stupid troll thing.

**JESSICA**

oh…

ok

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

it has never been minded then

meh, it doesn't work without the creeper face...

also, i don't know what i think of taemin's hat

**KALYN**

lol

Yeah, I questioned some fashion choices, like Key's pants and Onew's weird piece of red cloth around his waist.

Like they just had to have everyone wearing waist accessories,

and there weren't any left

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

So they just picked up a scrap of fabric from the scrap room

**JESSICA**

i have to finish it now though

**KALYN**

and were like "Here, tie this on."

**JESSICA**

XD

what the hell happened to Minho's voice?

**KALYN**

What do you mean?

**JESSICA**

it's...different...

**KALYN**

Like how?

**JESSICA**

it's like...

higher pitched?

i don't know

**KALYN**

Really? It sounds lower than the original

**JESSICA**

it's just different and kind of wrong...

**KALYN**

At least the singing part.

**JESSICA**

i can't quite tell

**KALYN**

Are you talking about the rap part?

Maybe?

IDK.

I thought they all sounded like themselves...

**JESSICA**

no, i don't think so...

**KALYN**

You and Emily are both doing this! Saying they don't sound like themselves!

Which part are you talking about?

Do you have a time from the video?

**JESSICA**

1:56

i just looked it up before you asked XD

**KALYN**

lol

Okay I see how it's different, but I think that's just autotune because the notes are higher than his voice

**JESSICA**

Key sounds a little different too

not as profoundly as Minho

**KALYN**

He had a higher voice in the original one too, it just sounded softer

**JESSICA**

maybe

**KALYN**

I think it sounds more like his actual voice in this one. Really it sounds less like him in the original.

**JESSICA**

i will listen to them more after i finish watching it the first time all the way through (aaaaawkwaaar sentence!)

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

**JESSICA**

than Key?

i don't know why i added the "than" in there...

:?

...

...

**KALYN**

Minho. Still talking about Minho up there.

**JESSICA**

i'm going to watch the video now...

**KALYN**

How is Key different?

**JESSICA**

ok

i don't know...

it might just be the autotune too

**KALYN**

He sounds clearer than usual. Usually he has a bit of a gravelly um... what's the word...

**JESSICA**

but he sounds different at 2:10

**KALYN**

right. that's where I was

**JESSICA**

he usually has the deepest voice right?

**KALYN**

Key?

Like...singing or speaking?

Which would actually be no for both.

**JESSICA**

singing

oh...

**KALYN**

Onew has the deepest singing voice.

**JESSICA**

oh…

**KALYN**

heh

**JESSICA**

but...

but...

...

**KALYN**

no

you're wrong.

always.

**JESSICA**

…..

:(

:'(

**KALYN**

≤3

:)

**JESSICA**

that's hurtful :'(

**KALYN**

:D

Well

You know how it is

Between us

**JESSICA**

NO! a heart and two smiles will not fix this!

**KALYN**

This is how we are

**JESSICA**

:(

**KALYN**

Just passing the insults

Because we know how it is

Between us

**JESSICA**

anyway, i'm listening/watching the original, and i guess you're right about Minho, i was just thrown off at first

**KALYN**

Yeah, they do sound different from the first one. Especially Minho, since I think he has the most work done on his voice.

Singing-wise anyway.

And also when you sing different vowels, you sing them differently. Like... I use different breath or shape my mouth differently or open my throat more with different vowels. This makes like no sense, but there's a change in the voice quality when the words are different.

**JESSICA**

no, i notice that sometimes, because songs do sound different in different languages

**KALYN**

right

**JESSICA**

i am going to send you this amazingly beautiful picture XD

it is just

ah, you will see XDDDD

just your normal email, right?

**KALYN**

...yes?

Can you not send it through chat?

**JESSICA**

….

no?

**KALYN**

so it's not from the internet?

**JESSICA**

...

can i?

no

**KALYN**

oh okay

**JESSICA**

i captured it, because i paused it beautifully

the video that is

**KALYN**

oh lol

oaky

hm, I quite like that

**JESSICA**

you will see true beaty

lol

**KALYN**

Let me know when it's sent

**JESSICA**

yeah, i will send it as soon as i think of an adequate subject

yeah...

i'll just go with that

it has been sent!

**KALYN**

Wow.

It's a bit fuzzy, but I see a couple of major derp faces there.

**JESSICA**

did you notice jonghyun's?

i like that one the most XD

**KALYN**

YES

And Key's is really hilarious too

lol

**JESSICA**

i have to be quiet because everyone is asleep, but i can'

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

t help but laugh so much

**KALYN**

Jonghyun's face is actually a little frightening.

Key's is also scary.

**JESSICA**

brb

**KALYN**

k

**JESSICA**

oooh so beautiful!

**KALYN**

?

I gotta go study. Before I fail midterms.

Love you!

**JESSICA**

love you too!

new profile picture!

**KALYN**

XD

I tagged Kelsey as Taemin. Hope you don't mind.

It's actually quite fitting!

**JESSICA**

i don't mind at all

**KALYN**

:DDD

**JESSICA**

i think i might have to change my profile picture though

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

because every time i get on, i go into uncontrolled giggling XD

**KALYN**

I'm putting it as mine

**JESSICA**

XD

**JESSICA**

I can see the Hero's allure in this video...but before... meh .com/watch?v=x9GdE7_Anzc&feature=related

**JESSICA**

Hey, back to the story thing, do you think a story based off Ludo's The Horror of Our Love would stand the 50,000 words

**KALYN**

What? What about that video?

I think...how would you do that?

Because I read the horrible notorious fanfic "My Immortal" and then when I listened to The Horror of Our Love, I thought of that fanfic.

He even says "My Immortal" in the song.

...are you saying Hiro is more alluring in this video? Probably because he actually looks masculine for once. Usually he just looks pretty, but somehow he's pulled it off. In fact, the three of them look better in this video than I've seen them.

...why did the setting just randomly change like three and a half minutes in?

That key change was unnecessary...

**JESSICA**

ok, ew... i don't want to be associated with My Immortal at all. But I would have thought the author would have used Evanescence more than Ludo...

**JESSICA**

.com/watch?v=1OPh7Kadta4&NR=1 for you!

.com/watch?v=80GPr-wgiP8&NR=1

.com/watch?v=UB4V6VW4PRA&feature=related

i don't know if you've seen this yet, but, it's realy funny XD .com/watch?v=QbnI9dghY_s&feature=autoplay&list=ULAaM6Ztcd72E&lf=mfu_in_order&playnext=3

.com/watch?v=sB58-xBSYsE&feature=autoplay&list=ULk3oBNV4ACZw&lf=mfu_in_order&playnext=2

he's so wonderfully desparate XD

**JESSICA**

So, when the White Queen was the queen, she was called the Adored Sovreign. Is she the only exile who's name doesn't have the same letters for her past name and future name?

although we haven't really met the White King yet, so maybe he his doesn't correlate either

**JESSICA**

.com/watch?v=JU9C9hwIX3Y&feature=related this is great actually

**KALYN**

I like the bit about the beer being mostly Hussie blood. Husserific!

…

**JESSICA**

but that is the exact reason why i had to stop getting on quizilla, because i felt that i answered those questions honestly, so that must be true even though they weren't really

*cough* and those people are anything but psychologists

so i really hope that if she stops reading those things, that she might become much happier

**KALYN**

quizilla? You used to take psychological advice from quizilla?

**JESSICA**

i was young and confused x.x

**KALYN**

Or are you talking about those "Which element are you" quizzes where they broke down your character?

**JESSICA**

yeah

the quizzes

i never read the stories or anything

**KALYN**

Yeah, all quizilla quizzes want to make us dark and love darkness and emo shit.

**JESSICA**

yup

**KALYN**

Those were always so off base.

**JESSICA**

i realize that now

**KALYN**

I didn't figure out who I was (or at least the person I wanted to be) until...I guess Sophomore year. I was happiest with myself then.

**JESSICA**

yeah, i still don't really know entirely

but i'm accepting myself a lot more

**KALYN**

Jr and Sr years put that to the test!

I still know who I am though

**JESSICA**

well, junior year i realized i was still letting my parents lead my lifea nd my thoughts

**KALYN**

That's good

**JESSICA**

so then i broke away from that

**KALYN**

Yeah, you think for yourself

**JESSICA**

but that made me a little lost

it's because i'm a libra!

**KALYN**

Whaaat?

**JESSICA**

lol

i still put too much stock in those profiling things

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahahaha

They're such bullshit!

**JESSICA**

but some of it makes sense

horoscopes are stupid

**KALYN**

I've become a major sceptic over the years of actually knowing who I am, lol

You know who you are

**JESSICA**

i am not really

well, a skeptic that is

**KALYN**

Yeah

**JESSICA**

i want to believe, i've always want to believe, but that's mostly because i've experienced "supernatural" things myself

**KALYN**

Right, exactly

**JESSICA**

so i have great difficulty not getting angry at people who say it's total bullshit

**KALYN**

I'm not talking about spirits and shit, I'll believe in that because I know many people who are sensitive to it

Very logical people

**JESSICA**

yeah

well, i'm very glad that none of my experiences had anything to do with spirits

**KALYN**

I'm just talking about horoscopes and fortune telling, or really anything that circulates on the internet like that

What experiences have you had then?

**JESSICA**

"deja vu" dreams that come true

literally

**KALYN**

Oh yeah

Like, you remember the dream for sure before it happens?

**JESSICA**

depends

lizzy's friend tyana came up with us to Michigan a couple of years ago for the first time

**KALYN**

Because I get deja vu, but then when I look back I think I had no reason to have it. Like, "No, wait, it was just a sensation." Which is what I've chalked it up to.

Anyway, go on.

**JESSICA**

well, a couple years before that i had a dream where she was with us at this local restaurant that we always go to as a family

well in the dream tyana was there

the next day i was like "no that couldn't happen" because i've always had this feeling that my extended family and friends would never meet, it was just too out there for me to grasp (living overseas and all)

but wouldn't you know, two years ago, there we were, at Johnny's (the restaurant) and tyana was there

and i always remember remembering

which is super obnoxious

**KALYN**

Yeah haha

**JESSICA**

but it also runs in the family

my grandpa saved my grandma's life before they were married

**KALYN**

Wow!

My granny had psychic dreams about big events

**JESSICA**

he told her not to go for a car ride with either his sister or her sister

**JESSICA**

and the sister got hit by a truck and died

**KALYN**

Oh. Sad.

**JESSICA**

and my cousin has the same thing

i know

it could have been a family friend too though

**KALYN**

yeah

**JESSICA**

all i know is that he adamantly told her not to go

another cousin (who isn't actually related to me) can see auras

but this is all on mom's side

**KALYN**

My Granny dreamed that Reagan (during the election) would be elected president and then shot. Also about a building exploding for some reason (terrorist, bomb, idk) and told her friend not to go to work that day. I think her friend was late that day.

I've heard of auras.

Zack told us about them one day, and then Clarissa claimed to see them. She apparently thought it was normal.

**JESSICA**

yeah, my cousin does too

**KALYN**

Could be just in her head, but she definitely is a sensitive to some degree.

**JESSICA**

yeah

but back to the zodiac symbols, i don't believe in the fortune telling aspect of horoscopes (except once in a blue moon it's actually right) but the actually meanings behind them makes sense, and i don't mean that in a way that i'm reading too much into them

**JESSICA**

I mean, come on, this describes me pretty well "Indecisive and changeable

Gullible and easily infuenced

Flirtatious and self-indulgent"

**KALYN**

Oh okay

...whaaaaaaaaat?

**JESSICA**

yeah

i've just learned how to hide it

which sounds very emo x.x

**JESSICA**

(this is the positive side) "Diplomaitic and urbane

Romantic and charming

Easygoing and sociable

Idealistic and peaceable"

**KALYN**

well I've...okay, it's hard to tell anything about someone when they hide traits. Do they technically belong to them if they aren't ever displayed? Or do people just feel like they can be described by these blanket terms? They see instances, but...If you replaced each of those words with its opposite, what would it become?

**JESSICA**

and from a very young age i was diplomatic

no, they are definitely there

**KALYN**

Are you romantic? Idealistic? Or are you more of a realist?

**JESSICA**

the problem is, when i was in England, i was picked on, so i learned to sort of hold them back?

see, here's the thing

this is something we've talked about in my human relations class

i am right-handed, so realistically speaking i should be more left brained (realistic, mathematically inclined, etc.)

but when i was younger, i learned how to play t-ball and softball with my left hand

which made the right side of my brain stronger

**KALYN**

...There are more right-handed people than left in the world, and the amounts of "left-brained" or "right-brained" people is more split. Besides, wasn't the idea of logic=left, creativity=right kind of...disproven?

I'm pretty sure both take both sides

And working on motor functions for each side doesn't really affect your other functions in your brain, does it?

**JESSICA**

well, how many people are actually left handed but they were taught to be right handed so they just took that up?

that screws up the statistics

yes it actually does

my inclinations are actually centralized

also, a lot of the "practical" and "realistic" tendencies were ingrained by my dad

he's very realistic

**KALYN**

Okay, but I feel like you aren't really born one way or the other. You become one way or the other based on your experiences and the way you perceive everything. Like... if those tendencies were ingrained by your dad, does that mean you then adopt them? Or is your true nature idealistic and romantic, and you're just going against it because you were raised that way? Are you reverting back to your true nature then?

**JESSICA**

i think it's a combination

are people born gay or raised gay?

that is another question

**KALYN**

And the thing about idealists and realists and romantics and pragmatics is...they're so abstract that rarely do people identify with just one. I fall under all of them to some degree, depending on really freaking abstract factors, like my mood or what I'm thinking about.

**JESSICA**

it's a part of who they are, so is homosexuality born into people or are they raised to be homosexual?

*cough* you are also a gemini *cough*

**KALYN**

And gay is a bit less abstract than romantic. That is based on a physical need, on hormones, physical attraction. You don't think gay they way you can think realistically.

Haha, okay, I'll give you that one.

**JESSICA**

but i've always been a diplomat

i was the mediator between james and lizzy

always

(which wasn't really fair for me)

Libras "are able to stand back and look impartially at matters which call for an impartial judgment to be made on them." that fits me too

"tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions" very true

"for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident; and among their faults is an impatience of criticism and a greed for approval."

**JESSICA**

but don't forget i am also an introvert, so i'm not going to readily let people in

**KALYN**

Okay, Well then I must say that my dual/objective nature probably very likely fits the description of a Gemini. I will concede.

**JESSICA**

:D

**KALYN**

I'm not gonna readily believe the thing about right/left brain though, since i've heard more than one argument on that, and I don't trust scientific information if there's an argument.

Because I am a gemini.

**JESSICA**

and do you not sort of say this yourself "they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them.""

fair enough

**KALYN**

I say that about whom?

**JESSICA**

me?

"You are necassary for my sanity"

you

said that

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

kay

yes it's true

And you know what? You should feel special!

Because you are the only person that we feel withdrawal symptoms from if we haven't seen you in a while!

Usually people insist on seeing us, but you don't! So we insist on seeing you!

**JESSICA**

lol

well,

Geminis "take up new activities enthusiastically but lack application, constantly needing new interests" Just sayin

**KALYN**

Oh God.

Haha

**JESSICA**

:)

**KALYN**

I have already conceded the horoscopes to you.

**JESSICA**

. but i like to beat dead horses...

**KALYN**

hahahahaha is that a Libra trait?

**JESSICA**

. especially if i find the subject interesting

my own personal quirk

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

although honestly i'm not like this if i'm not around friends, particularly you, Morgan and Emily (and my cousin Shanlynn)

and by romanticism it means the modern usage, not the "antiquated" version which i assume you were using before?

**KALYN**

okay, so you meant in the romantic endeavors sense? Like matespritship? haha

**JESSICA**

matesprit "Their marriages, however, stand a good chance of success because they are frequently the union of "true minds"

**KALYN**

Please tell me what that's supposed to mean

**JESSICA**

sort of like the "true love" idea

"soul mates"

**KALYN**

okay haha

**JESSICA**

that's how i translated it anyway (and i do believe in true love, is that not romantic?)

**KALYN**

"true minds" doesn't convey feelings as much as it seems to convey intellect

I don't call it true love, but I believe I have a perfect type? maybe?

I know that I'll know that I'll find someone I'll be happy with forever when I meet them

**JESSICA**

well, that was just how i translated it

**KALYN**

Yeah

**JESSICA**

"It can be changeable and indecisive, impatient of routine, colorlessly conventional and timid, easygoing to the point of inertia, seldom angry when circumstances demand a show of annoyance at least; and yet Librans can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage"

**KALYN**

huh, wow

Okay, I can actually see this

**JESSICA**

lol

i told you

**KALYN**

haha, well maybe you're just taking the parts that fit!

lol

No, I believe yo

you*

**JESSICA**

naw, i'm taking most of it

and i'm not showing you everything that actually fits, since you find it a little annoying when i bombard you with things i find interesting *cough*

**KALYN**

hahaha, naw

Only when I'm loopy on lack of sleep

and you go on a research tangent of pink lemonade and raspberry tea when I ask how pink lemonade is pink.

**JESSICA**

lol

"careless about money sometimes squander their wealth"

**KALYN**

One question turns into ten links, all of which I clicked on out of pure loyalty to you

What does mine say about money? lol

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

I'm curious now

Let's see how accurate this can be

**JESSICA**

i don't know how accurate this is "Also like children, they demand attention, admiration, and the spending on them of time, energy and money, throwing tantrums if they don't get what they want."

mostly the positive stuff applies to you

this is where i'm getting it all from

**KALYN**

That's me?

**JESSICA**

negative side of the gemini

**KALYN**

I don't *demand* attention, but I like it. I don't throw tantrums either, but I do sometimes sort of do what I can to get attention from people that I care about, because I crave praise from them because I value their feelings. Heh.

**JESSICA**

They are affectionate, courteous, kind, generous, and thoughtful towards the poor and suffering

**KALYN**

What does it say about money?

**JESSICA**

that was it

**KALYN**

Okay, yes. A million times yes.

You know how many people I've fucking donated to?

**JESSICA**

like i said, you seem to fit most of the positive traits, just not a lot of the negatives

if any really

**KALYN**

People think I'm naive or something, but I feel for them because I could've been there! I was close to that!

**JESSICA**

yeah

i know

**JESSICA**

this part seems to fit morgan a little more "If things go against them, they sulk like

children." maybe not like a child

**KALYN**

hahaha

Apparently we're children

I'm seeing a trend

**JESSICA**

well, you are really energetic

you are fixated on things but then find a new obsession

it's just "child-like" traits, not so much that you are children

**KALYN**

I often feel very child-like, and I don't see myself ever "growing up" in the sense that I just get boring and stop doing things if I think they're silly.

Spontaneity and whimsy are things I never want to lose!

**JESSICA**

haha, and i've always, for the most part been laid back

obviously i was a child and did child like things, but i was always pretty serious, or so i've been told

**KALYN**

I can see that, haha

I was a totally different person as a kid though

Actually, I think I might have thrown temper tantrums. I was a drama queen.

But less in the "OMFG Drama!" sense of the term and more of just the bratty sense. I had an attitude.

**JESSICA**

i was "drama queen" in the sense that i was dramatic, like theatrically so

**KALYN**

hahahaha

**JESSICA**

'tis true

**KALYN**

Which today only manifests itself in sarcasm!

**JESSICA**

lol

and accents and changing my voice

**KALYN**

Okay, I'm beginning to rub my face like I'm on ecstasy and my face is made of Egyptian cotton.

I think I need to go to bed.

**JESSICA**

...

that...

was

quite the description...

and now that isn't fair

because i was tired before you got on, but now i'm awake!

**KALYN**

oh .

sorry

**JESSICA**

it's your fault!

**KALYN**

well it's midnight here!

**JESSICA**

i blame you!

i couldn't sleep last night

**KALYN**

I have to finish a speech tomorrow and study for my midterms!

I love you!

**JESSICA**

and i got up early this morning

love you too, good luck on midterms!

**KALYN**

Sorry! DX

**JESSICA**

sleep well

**KALYN**

Okay. You too! If you ever get to sleep, which I hope you do.

**JESSICA**

yup, i'll just read or something

* * *

><p>We got pretty philosophical at the end there. -cough-<p> 


	22. Spoilers

Epicly long update because I'm lazy! Spoilers up to the most recent update guys, so don't read unless you're caught up. Also, some AH plagiarism, just because his explanations of the end of Act 5 fit in so well with our attempts to make sense of everything, since he actually does make sense of everything for us. Jessica takes a while to realize that it's Hussie's words though. Ummm...links are generally unimportant to me (or I'm just being a lazy fuck, like always) but most likely they're mspaintadventures or youtube or something. You can usually tell if it's youtube. Too lazy to write more. Just read the shit. Kbye.

* * *

><p><strong>JESSICA<strong>

this is actually really interesting looking back at it (well, actually reading it .) /?s=6&p=003752

there seem to be potential allusions to twelve trolls, but i don't think they are our current trolls, but the Ancestors. I'm not sure. Also, Zazzerpan does not like Magic, which makes me think of Eridan, but this came from Rose who uses "magic wands."

"We're going to need more wands." Does Eridan not say something to that effect and ask Kanaya to make him some more? I'm not entirely sure, but I thought I would pass this by you (especially since we haven't talked about Homestuck in a while, *cough cough*)

wait, what was the genetic code for? the one Rose had written out but burned because "The gods from the Furthest Ring asked [her] to"

**KALYN**

The genetic code was for making Bec, Earth's first guardian.

The flaw I see in that theory of it being the ancestors is that the ancestors were never all on the same side, like these wizards are. Unless you mean it alludes to their first session, but even then, it's a bit of a stretch. I think it's just another set of twelve. It's a very popular number.

**KALYN**

Are they trolls? I'm not sure. Meh.

One was holding a human bone.

**JESSICA**

Ohp! That proves everything! He was holding a human bone! although don't forget it was rose writing it. So I am not entirely sure. It just struck me as odd.

**JESSICA**

Have you seen this yet? It's sooooo greeeaaaaaattttt! I think you will love it! .com/watch?v=dsuYYl9RUOk&NR=1

**JESSICA**

So, I was looking on the MSPAWiki, and I was a little confused to see Nepeta was shipping Dave and Tavros? Is there any basis for that?

And Nepeta really doesn't like Eridan. I wonder why.

I wonder if Nepeta is really as cheerful as she plays off to be? Or is she really that stupid? I can't tell. I hope it's just that she is just acting for Equius's sake... Or that she's in denial.

**JESSICA**

Now Vriska's little conversation with John after she killed Tavros is extremely interesting (sorry if you all ready covered this, by the way).

So, Vriska said she almost killed someone else she liked when she tried to kill Tavros the first time. The only choices there are Terezi and Aradia, right? (Although, I guess technically she did kill Aradia...) Were she and Terezi pals before that incident? I wouldn't have thought so, since they were always sort of adversaries (although before then she and Eridan sort of had a kismesis going, sort of). It just confused me a little. Vriska is too good at hiding how she actually feels and then it comes and bites her in the butt.

**KALYN**

Terezi and Vriska were both on the same RP team. They were like rivals, but they always worked together in the games. Vriska just always took it too far, so Terezi stopped playing with her, and then they had their whole indirect faceoff, when they screwed up each others' eyes.

Because Terezi was friends with the trolls on the other team, like Aradia and Tavros.

I think Vriska was probably talking about Tavros there, maybe. Since she tries the hardest to live like her guardian did, and her and Tavros' guardians were matesprits.

**JESSICA**

When are you saying she was talking about Tavros?

**JESSICA**

Guardians? Do you mean Ancestors? Because I do not think the giant spider and Twinklebull were matesprits ;P

I knew that Terezi and Vriska were rivals, and that makes sense. However, there were only two people she could have been talking about and I see what you are talking about. Bluh bluh bluh, that's all I can say for now

**JESSICA**

why is it so much easier to read the walls of text you sent me on ? I'll try and read some of it and react to the stuff i never did, although most of it would be redundant for me to do so. So just the questions I guess

**KALYN**

Oh, do you get updates when I put up new chapters? Okay then.

**JESSICA**

I wish I did, but Emily told me that it was updated.

**KALYN**

Oh okay, well she probably added it to favorites or something like that.

Anyway.

**JESSICA**

Ok, so I was rereading the stuff from before, and I noticed that I suggested that one of the reasons for Sassacre's/Sanders' dog would be named Halley was because of Halley's comet. Well, the dog was hit by a comet, lol. Therefore we can call said comet "Halley's Comet" hahaha. I really shouldn't be so amused by that

**KALYN**

Oh! That's great! haha

**JESSICA**

Ok, and we were talking about Jade's grandpa a little after that point, and you mentionedd his ship was named Jade. I thought at one point (after he found Jade) that he named his ship after her. I could be wrong, but that is what I thought. I need to actually get to that point (I've been jumping around a lot because emily has been sending me links), but long story short that is what I thought. Which is totally possible still, since if he went to the Medium during his adventuring at the ripe age of 13 he would know about her. He knows a lot of stuff, and I think one of us has mentioned before (I'm pretty sure it was me though) that it was Grandpa who told all of the Guardians what was up. Although, Nana could have told Dad since Betty Crocker probably told HER was was up, since we are pretty sure she is the troll queen.

**KALYN**

This was a bit hard to follow...

What are you telling me about the ship?

**JESSICA**

I thought his ship was named after Jade.

**KALYN**

Yes

**JESSICA**

Which is why at first I didn't think that the Grandpa in the Medium was the Grandpa before he raised Jade

**KALYN**

Oh. Well he died while raising Jade, so...

I figured that was his final stop.

Also, he brought back all of his trophies from the medium to earth, and then found Baby Jade on earth, and then settled on that island.

I'm pretty sure, with given evidence, he went to the medium and then went back to earth and raised Jade.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I know about that.

**KALYN**

Okay.

I guess I'm still confused then.

I'm gonna go to lunch. Keep talking!

**JESSICA**

Yeah, and I was just saying he could have named his ship after Jade before he raised Jade because he would have known about Jade in the Medium

I shall

Did you get the part about Nana? And how Grandpa probably enlightened the other Guardians (at least Bro and Mom)?

Also, you seemed a little confused about Terezi's comment on Dave's crying. I'm wondering if you are still confused. I assume (or rather hope) not, since a little while after they talk about that, Dave was being stewed up by the nak-ing crocs (or alligators, not sure if that was ever verified XD) and in the stew pot there were fresh cut onions.

**JESSICA**

Also, I'm thinking that the frog temples are probably the original homing beacons for the "game." The one on Earth is at Jade's, right? And her island was hit by a meteor in the past, right? (that last part was said hesitantly and in a slightly confused manner) So the frog temples are on meteors that crash on the doomed planets sometime in their past, which starts a countdown? I'm really not sure about that last part.

**JESSICA**

You were talking about the penpal as well and who could have coerced him. All of the weapons are used by the trolls (except maybe the sword, do any of them use swords?), so I wonder if the trolls coerced him. Or the trolls and humans did. Jade sent him the kickass rabbit. Most likely they had to be sent from the dream bubbles, which confuses me a little bit. Can the dream bubbles interact with the "real" world?

**JESSICA**

If you remember, Karkat is all about the quadrants and romances. He did ship the kids. (why I mentioned that " he watches ROMCOMs without being ashamed-he seemed like he could be so happy-go-lucky with this description!") lol, if he let himself, he would probably have a shipping chart very much like Nepeta's. Or he does and he's just keeping it to himself XD

**JESSICA**

"Gawd, all you trolls just have to be SO FUCKING SPECIAL" Yes, they do. They were prepared so they could kick ass at the game and not fail like the previous team did (right?). They were overpowered actually.

I was thinking... You mentioned at one point that Sollux's walls were covered with runes, frogs and turtles. The kids had creatures residing on their planets (John salamanders, Dave crocodile/alligators, Rose turtles, and Jade frogs [I guess]), so did the trolls have creatures that lived on their planets too?

**JESSICA**

Also, John and Jade had amphibians while Rose and Dave had reptiles. Rose and Dave are paradox siblings (i don't know how else to put it) whle John and Jade are paradox siblings.

Do we know how much longer the trolls have to wait for Lord English to appear? (which is essentially, how much longer do we have to wait until LE appears, lol)

Like is there a timer? Or was it in Sollux's virus and we couldn't read it?

**JESSICA**

"Curbside confections, no longer afraid of what you'll say" lol

**KALYN**

I understood all of that mostly. Countdown? Not sure. Dream bubbles can interact with the real world because they exist on the outer rings of the real world. The living trolls are headed toward the dream bubbles right now. They might be able to talk to their dead comrades. I'm not sure Karkat's the shipping type like Nepeta is. I think he likes helping trolls figure out their romantic problems, but he doesn't get any sort of pleasure out of trying to predict who goes together and who doesn't. He understands just how fucked up and convoluted and confusing troll romance can be, so he's not gonna put any stock into long-term relationship predictions. Yes, I'm pretty sure all the trolls had creatures. They're called cohorts or something like that. LE appears hundreds of years after their sessions, during Aradia's ancestor's life. But you see, there is nothing to look forward to. Because he is already here. Sollux's virus was one of the things used to bring in LE though. It started the game. And I don't understand that last quote.

**JESSICA**

Aradi's ancestor? She's from the future? Curse this comic and it's convoluted time crap. I'm feeling very much like jade right now. Look up streetlights by ludo Iol (you can't even tell that first letter is actually an i!

**KALYN**

Yes, Aradia's ancestor's meteor went like hundreds of years into the future, where Doc Scratch took her in and raised her until she was about 6 sweeps and then AH came in and ancestor escaped, and then LE was officially introduced into the universe.

**JESSICA**

oh

...

well then

**JESSICA**

Woo! 75% baby!

**KALYN**

on what?

why did I look up streetlights again?

**JESSICA**

curbside confections

**JESSICA**

Ok, so, there is this girl that sits with one of my friends/acquaintances between my classes, right? Well, she pisses me off in general, because she doesn't know when to shut up, and she just talks about things that we clearly don't a) care about or b) want to listen to, like she fucking talked about her bodily fucking functions while I was fucking eating D:

**JESSICA**

Well, today, she showed me this poem (she didn't ask if I wanted to see it, she just put it under my nose and was like "read it" and I was like, fine... lolololol I love when I talk like that, even though I totally shouldn't) BACK TO THE STORY! So, it was totally mediocre, terrible, atrocious, and the only thing that would justify it as being "poetry" was that it rhymed. She said "I thought of it while we were watching a video documentary on the Depression" (THE FUCK? Was my reaction, although I bet she wouldn't even know John Steinbeck if you waggled Grapes of Wrath or Of Mice and Men in front of her face) "Everyone else was sleeping, but this came to my mind, so I wrote it. Oh, I love myself so much! I am totally the best, aah" I can't even make the face I want on the computer... anyway, so I read it, and it was totally something a fifth grader could write. the only thing that made it at all "worth reading" was that it was about a couple who were having their first kid. So, whatever. It was atrocious, immature, and it really pissed me off. Then it made me think of you (lol, not because your poetry is immature or atrocious...although I know you would argue to the contrary about the stuff you wrote in middle school)

**JESSICA**

She kept saying "I would give anything for my poetry to be published" and I very nearly said "Would you give up your crappy poetry?" But I didn't...because I am not confrontational... I guess I'm kind of passive agressive, huh? ...

Anyway, the point of that last little bit, was I sent her to DeviantArt to look up people who write poetry, since she "would give anything to get it published" so she could "connect with 'other' poets and see what they did to get their stuff published" you know, since a good number of them have to be published. So, yeah, hopefully she will see how crappy her stuff really is

**JESSICA**

...

You know, I really don't want to pay her the slightest mind, since she is clearly not intelligent, well, intelligent as far as I'm concerned. She has no manners: I came to the table today because I get out of class after they get there, and she pointed to my friend's/acquaintance's backpack and said "move your backpack" like I couldn't take care of it myself! She's rude, full of herself, entitled, AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO BACK IT UP!

**JESSICA**

If she was the hottest thing since sliced bread, then yeah, maybe I could accept her acting like a total, well, maybe not bitch, but incredibly rude and ordering people around.

but she's not

guh

ok

i'm done

**JESSICA**

So, after my bitching and moaning, I hope this makes you smile .com/

**JESSICA**

.com/965/ that's the one I meant, I don't know why it put the previous day's up But it's great I think you both will love this

(Finally, Homestuck updated with the end of Act 5)

**JESSICA**

"CG: AND IN CASE NONE OF THIS WORKS AND WE DON'T ACTUALLY GET TO MEET

CG: I GUESS I SHOULD SAY...

CG: SINCE APPARENTLY MY GUTLESS FUTURE SELF CAN'T EXPRESS HIMSELF AND NEVER GOT AROUND TO SAYING SO

CG: THUS LEAVING IT UP TO ME AS USUAL

CG: TO SAY

CG: THAT

GG: oh sorry!"

**JESSICA**

GOD DAMMIT JADE!

What is up with that tadpole? It's in an eight ball O.O which, as we know, is probably linked to Lord English, most likely is linked to Lord English (but, really, it could be Vriska too, I think? One of those darn trolls) But then it's flashing and it's kind of like Lord English

Let me look again

don't you dare stop me!

lol

I can't quite tell how many colors it's flashing in, but yeah, Jade is looking into the sky and shit's going to fly!

I guess this will probably be irrelevant when I get to the end of the update, but I figured I should ... narrate my exact reactions...

yes

teehee, Bec Noir, teehee

He's just standing there with a silly question mark above his head (and of course he's not going to kill Jade)

WHAT THE FUCK! Shaving cream? *reads on*...*tries not to spam with constant feedback about the obvious*...*not likely able to contain herself*...

Someone needs to give Karkat a hug

shaving cream bomb? with the little short clubs guy? WTF? D:

Well fuck Now what? WHY DID YOU FAIL BEC? WHY DID YOU FAIL TO PROTECT JADE! That was my initial reaction too, when he wasn't killing Jade, I figured he would protect her from anything (and by anything I mean Lord English) Although I feel like him protecting Jade was all ready established? I could be incredibly wrong though. Wouldn't be the first time

**JESSICA**

and OH NOES!

WHAT THE FUCK! .com/?s=6&p=006007 (and I was right about Bec :D)

**JESSICA**

I'm left with more questions than answers,, and i BALGUAODSIHFNKJLAESDHGJ ASLDHGJFYNGVIJDFKADNSKFNH IOKFJASKJGH NURHJVDHAFJKLSUDJ

That is how I feel right now

So, Jadesprite is now godtier, because bec noir left main (dead) Jade on her god bed thing. So instead of Jade reaching God Tier, Jadesprite took over being the main Jade and is now the God Witch of Space (which I think her outfit is pretty cool, but the whole Twilek tentacle things confuses me a little). She pulls up the fourth wall of their entire story, and then she and John blast through it on the Prospit version of the Jade Harley (is that the ships name?) and who the fuck knows where they went. What I want to know is, why did Bec Noir take things out on the trolls? I don't know

**JESSICA**

Snowball bleeds blue blood, is that just because she was royalty? I'm pretty sure it has to correlate with the blood of the people being plagued (I guess? I can't think of a better way to put that) by the game, because the white king and queen had red blood

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL!

I'm going to watch it again, maybe it will make more sense then, probably not

Ok, there is one more act after this, plus the green and white dots ... whatever those are for. Maybe the green is for Lord English? Since all of the Felt wear green. The white I have no clue

I should seriously stop guessing right now

ok, John is scratching the record with what looks to be one of the wands of "science", and his warhammer (of zillyhoo) has the scorpio symbol on it

Ok, the 413 thing was Bec Noir's timer

The Bec Head Transporter thing was where the frog head should have been, wasn't it? because it totally looked for a moment there that it belonged and that the temple suddenly changed from being a frog to being a Bec Noir

Also, we talked about this before, about where the frog temples came from, and they are definitely from the ring. I can't remember if we verified or came to an agreement or not

The White King had a notebook. It was either the "meowmeowmeow" book or the "crappy fanfiction" which I desperately need to read again, just to see how exactly it all correlates with the rest of the story, because I definitely remember their being undertones and almost allusions to the trolls

**JESSICA**

Bec Noir also left PM alive for some reason, I dont' know why that would be, he killed WQ and WK (maybe out of spite, maybe because he thought it was their fault, maybe because he wanted them dead from the beginning?) He killed AR because he was blowing the pods up, because he needed them to get somewhere? I wonder if he knew he was going to go to the Trolls' session, or if he just landed there "randomly". then he killed WV for the uranium (or whatever) in his stomach (part of the green sun? or just kryptonite, lol)

**JESSICA**

I guess I was just wondering if leaving PM alive had anything to do with her little quest for him or...

although was she Jade's exile? Because WQ was Rose's, AR was Dave's and WV was John's

WK had no chance to be anyone's exile, so it had to be PM, right? Yeah she was, never mind

Although, I must admit I enjoyed the Wizard of Oz reference with Jade's outfit

Now, who was it who said "SUCKERS."? Was it Gamzee or Doc Scratch? Now that I say it, I think it was probably Gamzee...

ok, that's enough from me, I'm assuming you haven't read it yet, and I apologize for all this stuff you now have to read along with watching Homestuck... But now it's your turn to have to deal with a massive wall of text

**KALYN**

holy shit I haven't watched it yet. O.O I should probably do that first...

**KALYN**

watching...

Oh, Karkat.

Oh shit.

Oh shit!

OH SHIT!

Dead tadpole AND dead Jade?

Who hatched this harebrained scheme?

Gonna watch the vid now...

I just restarted the video somewhere in the middle because it was growing... Was I zooming unconsciously or something?

I was missing stuff!

But yeah, okay. Bec Noir's loyalty to Jade has caused him to turn against CD and spread the red miles in place of the green miles. Is he destroying the universe, or is he healing it?

And WK is here. Great. Wonder what role he'll play?

Just realized I could have paused it. lol

I love how John looks and Bec's forlorn face is too adorable.

There aren't two Bec's here are there? Wait...no, that's his power. Moving through space like a boss.

And time. Both.

I think it is growing.

coolest thing! I don't know if it happens on other things, but when you pause the video with Serenity in frame, she'll continue to flash and spark. Fun fact!

Oh. Same deal when you pause it on the stars that are flying through the universe! They continue to pass by-anyway. Jade's gonna be god tier! GO PROSPIT SIBLINGS.

Man, I canNOT watch a video all the way through the first time! I have a problem.

Wow. WK never had a chance, did he? How did Bec Noir get into the hobo flower? And where in the timeline is this one from?

**KALYN**

THE FUCK. What is Bec's motive for killing all the Wanderers? I should keep watching...

Sad to see them die though. They were my favorite... I was so convinced that it was truly their story! Oh well...

Okay. So that was early in the timeline. Is this another timefuck reacharound? What is the... Chronologically (in Bec's perspective) which came first? The destruction of the Wanderers and trolls, or Jade's death?

Because either all that destruction and troll haunting happened at the beginning of his life as a Bec-thing, or it happened because of his rage after Jade died. Hm.

Rose and Dave won against DD. Awesome. And I think that pause thing can happen to about anything in this video.

SHIT YES. THEY ALL GET TO LIVE. GOD'S, ALL OF THEM. The trolls just didn't think so, because their timeline was all blocked by this point! WIN!

Hmmmm...on the left side of the universe test tube machine is their universe (currently being ravaged by Bec's red miles) and on the right is the trolls'. By the way, you can totally see these in Sollux's glasses. I mentioned them before, how you can see universes. It's them.

That's weird. Blue blood. It looked almost like the universe was in her heart (literally, not in the stupid cheesy sense) and started to be destroyed when the cue ball hit her. Is this like Lord English's figurative (maybe literal, but how?) entrance into the universe?

What the hell happened to Jadesprite? Did she get transformed after Jade reached God tier (makes a very cute Witch of Space, by the way, I like the Wizard of Oz reference) or...did she disappear?

Or did she run away?

I think she transformed. Because she has dog ears.

Hahahaha, just realized that her fanfiction from wayyyy early on came true. Lawl.

Heh. Just realized, the ravaging of the universes (being red or blue) happened 413 years after all of this SBURB shit. Duh. Stating the obvious, just because it's noteworthy and has only just occurred to me. It's important to stay on top of this timeline shit!

HOLY FUCKING CRAP IT'S STILL NOT OVER. GAMZEE NOOOO WHYYYYYYYYY what is even happening here. A lot happened just then. Okay. Jadesprite(godtier) just made a science project out of the planets, Rose and Dave are contemplating the function of the universe tube machine, John's on the battleship, Jade is...still dead. On the bed. Did she switch minds with Jadesprite or something, or mix? Eh. We are finding out why Gamzee is "the most important character in Homestuck" and he is apparently much more aware of things than we think. Bastard. Still not quite sure what he did though. Doc Scratch is dead, and he says "suckers." Is it because Cal is talking to him? Hmmmm... Cal is the real mastermind!

**KALYN**

Keep watching. I'll be watching it again after this, and then I'll read what you said.

Oh, and PM was putting on the ring. Okay.

One foot on both sides. Remember when Aradia said that? Is Sollux conscious in both the dream bubbles and on the meteor? Maybe that's what she meant.

Pfffftthahahahahahaha! Dave's hood looks silly!

Wow. The destroyed curtains are a nice touch...but...why did Jade just break through the fourth wall? Or was it the fifth? Hm. What's she going for?

I eagerly await your response, and I have no desire to copy/paste all this just yet.

Oh sweet you can also skip to different parts of the video from the beginning! All those little red and blue and white and green dots are the video parts. XD

I'm discovering easter eggs!

**KALYN**

Okay. It was after Jade died that he went into the temple, got into the hobo flower, and came out to destroy the Wanderers and then the trolls and their planets. But...okay, so does this mean that DD and CD and everyone were from after Jade died as well? Because they were working with pissed off, angry Bec Noir, and DD told him he should stop destroying planets and shit. Hmmm... I wonder if Bec Noir was relatively tame when...no, that still doesn't make sense. He was still scheming against the kids in their session. It's just after Jade died that he went into the trolls' as well.

Oh and that was Rose's wizard fanfiction, which WK was reading in the temple. And Bec was going for PM before AR started blowing up the stations.

That's so weird. That universe tube machine was inside the tumor. Why? How did it get there? Who put the tumor in the universe, was it Bec or Karkat or Gamzee? Or someone else entirely? And what is the main purpose of the machine?

Those are my questions.

Was it Cal?

I would feel so weird if I was Davesprite, being all tiny chilling on that little planet while Jade did her giant Jade thing.

**KALYN**

Okay. Gamzee didn't type suckers. He highlighted it because it was written in white text. However, Doc Scratch's head had a flash where it was the nose to Gamzee's purple painted clown face. Cal is a piece of Scratch's genetic code. Gamzee has some weird connection with Cal. I am rather freaked out about this right now.

What is Sollux even doing when he gets all bleedy and telekinetic like that?

I think Rose and Dave have met Sollux and Aradia in the outer ring.

Okay I think I fully understand everything that happened now.

Do you know if Morgan's watched this yet? I can't wait to watch it with her!

Wow. Either I'm retarded, or Facebook is. I totally missed that rant on October 18 about that chick that annoys you! Glad I read it now, because it's quite interesting to me. I might...copy/paste it. .

"not because your poetry is immature or atrocious...although I know you would argue to the contrary about the stuff you wrote in middle school"

Actually, I never wrote a bad poem in my life. *stuck up* No, I had really immature concepts and feelings and shit, and some of my stuff was truly crap, but I think I had a gift for coming up with unique rhythms and rhyme patterns. But at least I didn't bullshit myself and pretend to be inspired by clouds, like I've witnessed other "poets" do.

**KALYN**

Just realized: It was Jadesprite that transformed because she was made with DreamJade. It was DreamJohn that transformed after John died. Also. I forgot the other one. Oh. Sollux, since I asked the question, was transporting the meteor to the rendezvous point. Alright!

Okay. "Suckers." Scratch was taunting Gamzee.

Read the parts of the conversation that Gamzee wrote. Since Scratch's was unreadable.

Seems like he was also carrying out Scratch's orders though.

I'll type his parts here:

**KALYN**

"TC: that's all motherfuckin done white texted bro.

TC: NOW WHAT?

**KALYN**

(three spaces of white text)

**KALYN**

TC: oh yeah?

TC: AND JUST WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS IT

TC: that we are?

TC: ?"

**KALYN**

fucking Facebook.

**KALYN**

The reason they are suckers is actually something we've known for a long time. This all was said in a conversation between Rose and Scratch. Everything happens when you destroy the green sun: it kills Scratch, it causes the Scratch of their session, because Scratch dies then Lord English is able to come into the universe, and because their session is Scratched it gives them a chance to survive because their session was never meant to "bear fruit." They are "suckers" (mostly the trolls, since the kids, at least Rose, knew this would be the outcome) because the allowed Lord English to come into the universe through this. Also, remember when Hussie was shaking Scratch around? I don't think it's the reverse puppet thing... I think Scratch was killed at that moment because they had just destroyed the Green Sun.

**JESSICA**

Gah! stop that!

Oh, wait...

nevermind

**KALYN**

Stop...what?

**JESSICA**

I thought you just said something now... but you didn't, but I have to find my place again

**KALYN**

I'm talking to Emily

Ask her about my confusing statements

Tell her to give you that part of the conversation

She didn't get what I was saying

**JESSICA**

me too, back to where I was I have a real lovely thing for you though when I finish reading everything

**KALYN**

I thought you woould

Yay!

Wait, she already told me

Skype with 4 people?

FOR A WEEK

almost

Have fun in Council Bluffs!

**JESSICA**

See, I only know have of this conversation, what did you say before the "Wait, she already told me"?

**KALYN**

I said "I thought you would

Yay!"

**JESSICA**

... see, here's the thing

I don't know who's saying what, is it entirely you?

is Emily in there somewhere?

**KALYN**

...what?

This conversation is just betweenus...

**JESSICA**

What's the email about that it's just not the same?huh?What do you need to don't want to hang out with me talk to your advisor about?

please explain those statements and tell me they are full coherent thoughts

**KALYN**

Bleh she didn't send you the whole thing

Here:

**JESSICA**

(i think that's because that was the part she was confused about...)

**KALYN**

yes, but here's where I was coming from:

**KALYN**

Me: I want to hang out with you.

Her: thanks

but it's just not the same...

me: :'(

her: i wish it was

me: D':

her: yeah

so, i'm writing an email to my adviser and don't really know what to say

me: What's the email about that it's just not the same?

her: huh?

11:27pm

me: What do you need to don't want to hang out with me talk to your advisor about?

her: YOU'RE CONFUSING THE FUCK OUT OF ME

me: -sighhhhhh-

**JESSICA**

you seem to be missing punctuation, which is making things a little confusing

**KALYN**

What do you mean?

**JESSICA**

unless you didn't intend "What's the email about" and "that it's not the same" to be different thoughts

**KALYN**

right

**JESSICA**

were you just guilt-tripping her?

**KALYN**

yes lawl

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

that's great XD

**KALYN**

I thought at least you would get it

**JESSICA**

eventually, lol

**KALYN**

because afterward I was like "Show it to Jessica.

:O

SNITCH!

**JESSICA**

ok, back to homestuck, I shall return to you with a play-by-play of me reading, and :D

**KALYN**

K!

**JESSICA**

I didn't know about the Serenity or the star thing. Isn't it Jadesprite who has reached god tier? She does have dog ears (James thinks they have morphed into one). Jade's death, I think, came first, because he doesn't get to the trolls until he takes the green radioactive stone out of WV's stomach. I don't know why it would have happened at the beginning of his life. That just doesn't make any sense to me

"Rose and Dave won against DD" What?

And I know, I was super-psyched when they all reached god tier They have one-up on the trolls ^^

I also noticed the tubes were just like Sollux's glasses, but I don't know WHY, you know?

That was what I noticed with Snowman as well (who I think I might have called Snowball at one point .)

I dont' think what's up with Gamzee happened after his reconcilliation with Karkat, I think that was before. But then, maybe he knows something we don't, maybe Cal whispered the secrets of the universe into his ear. He was chilling with AH for a while. Just sayin'.

Ok, nevermind on the Jadesprite thing, totally and completely (the one I said up there)

DAMMIT! I read what you say, and then a little farther down you say exactly what I was going to D: (I'm taking notes off to the side, just so you know. That's the only reason it bothers me. It's like a play-by-play :D)

That would make sense with Sollux, that he is aware in both, it is totally possible, but I think it would get a little confusing for him, wouldn't it? Unless he's used to it by now.

Also, please note the Dave looks like a knight.

I am extremely aggravated with Jade right now, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING! Maybe she's going to have a little chat with AH?

Why are you calling it a hobo flower? It is a rotting flower. All the others look like beautiful and healthy lotuses (or something) and his is orange-ish, wilting and diseased. Not a "hobo" flower. That's just silly. Bec Noir was always pretty pissy to begin with. CD is too dead to have worked with Bec after he "flipped total shit" so that would have been before hand. He just flipped extra shit after Jade died. Bec Noir was always, ALWAYS trying to stop the kids for some reason. He hated the black queen for humiliating him (Jack Noir seems to always hate the black king, it has to be in his genetic make-up, or the black queen has been informed to be a total bitch to him, either one, which might make sense with the whole thing where Snowman told Jack to kill her.)

Anyway, he was always distracted by Jade, so he told CD and DD to kill her, since he can't and he wanted to get her out of the way. CD completed his task, but foolishly did it in front of Bec Noir (he's not very bright, clearly). He has Becquerel's fierce loyalty for Jade, so really, she was the only thing holding him back. Don't forget how he decimated those pawns (I guess) after he put on the ring and became this super-insane Bec hybrid.

I wonder if he even really knew about the trolls, unless the rings gives them knowledge about how the game works, and that there are other worlds? I'm not entirely sure.

I thought it was her fanfiction after I took a closer look the second time through (I had to watch it more than once, naturally...it still didn't make a whole hell of a lot more sense XD)

Ok, clearly Davesprite wasn't just "chilling." When Jadesprite started her whole transformation thing, he looked a little freaked out, thank you very much. He was also watching her as she stared down at the world. He was not just "chilling"

I am extremely intrigued by Cal's relationship with Gamzee (other than they are both arbiters of mirth... not entirely sure if I used that right XD)

I have no idea what Sollux is doing, other than it looks like when he eats mind honey, except he has no eyes to shoot lasers from, so he's bleeding from his sockets. That is my only explanation, and that is the only explanation I can think of given the information right now. Damn, you just made me look stupid... "Sollux, since I asked the question, was transporting the meteor to the rendezcous point"

Ok, so, I just thought of this randomly, but do you remember when Karkat spoke to ... fuck, lost my train of thought talking to you about guilt-tripping emily... Oh! Now I remember, my random little thought. When Karkat told John if one of them kissed the other (I'm assuming John and Kar here) that John shouldn't be weirded out or anything. But Karkat had no idea what is going to happen when everyone meets, so it was legitimately what he was feeling at the time. Aw, Karkat, you're such a darling (Not as Darling as Kanaya, of course, but that's in her name for crying out loud! Ok, maybe not, but that's what I call her, and I'm pretty sure I saw it somewhere else)

You're theory about Jadesprite makes a ton of sense, so she would have all of Jade's memories up to date, wouldn't she? Since even though the kids are not aware of what their dream selves are doing while they are awake (sleeping?) but she was awake the entire time, so she would have her own memories, but whenever the kids were asleep, their dream selves were their current state of being. I never thought of that before (clearly).

Did you not read Doc Scratch's text? THat seems a little odd, and I got the ? thing.

Well then... I really wish I could memorize every conversation for easy and instant referral

All right! I'm all up and motherfucking caught up! :oD

**JESSICA**

have fun

hehehe, you are too cruel XD stop lying to Emily

**JESSICA**

also, do you know why the book is called ~ath?

**JESSICA**

"Who the fuck you think your dealin' with? I've got lips plus"

**JESSICA**

Ok, do you remember a while back, how I said that Eridan killed other trolls' lusi? well, here is what I was talking about, it was after Eridan killed that whale and then sent it down into the water for Feferi to feed to her lusus Oglogoth or whoever /?s=6&p=004337

**KALYN**

They have essentially morphed into one. The main reason it was Jadesprite was because she was prototyped with DreamJade, and when a player reaches god tier, it's their dream self that is transformed and takes the place of their other self. That's what happened with John, his dream self took over.

Rose and Dave were just about to have a faceoff with DD, who came into Rose's room on Derse's moon just before Dave woke up from that conversation they were having as they were hurtling toward the green sun. Then he woke up and headed straight for the moon to help Rose fight off DD. They were just about to begin the fight when we last saw them, and we didn't get to see that fight apparently because DD's dead already.

Psh, smartass. I meant they were like Sollux's glasses because you can see the universes in them, not just because of the obvious reason! DX

I called her Snowball, actually. XD

I am ignoring your nevermind, because I have already answered it! (maybe I should read the whole message, THEN respond?)

Yeah, I know the flower's cancerous. I just thought it also looked like a hobo. XP

I don't quite know what you're saying with the fanfiction. I think I understood that video pretty well after a couple times (the second time just to catch the minor details I might have missed the first time)

Psh. Davesprite is ALWAYS "chilling" because he's DAVEsprite. But yeah, don't get picky over the wording. I meant "chillin" in the sense that he's not really doing anything else other than being there.

I don't think Karkat was talking about kissing John, he was referring to a conversation he had already had with him (that John would also have) in which he proposes that they could be potential kismeses. It was his first conversation with him I think. Or his second. One of the first ones. And Darling Kanaya is the name of a song on one of the albums.

I couldn't read Doc Scratch's text. It was in the video. You can't highlight the video. Besides, it could be inferred what he said from Gamzee's response.

What the hell is ~ath and lips plus?

Annnd...I know. I know that Eridan kills lusi. If you're sending me a link to one of the pages, I don't need to click on it. I know what it is. I'm going to picture it in my head, and then when I click on it it'll be the same thing. Mleh.

**KALYN**

Hm. Close to the same thing.

**JESSICA**

~ is called a tilde. So ~ath is said tildeath (or written, I guess). One of the books Karkat has is called that: ~ath.

**KALYN**

He has books? What...? I don't even...

**KALYN**

Straight from Hussie: The tumor was a bomb that physically contained both our universe (red side) and the troll universe (blue side). It was counting down to the "simultaneous" destruction of both universes. On detonation, it did not destroy the green sun as intended. It created it.

**KALYN**

I believe some people thought they were witnessing the destruction of the sun when the bomb went off. Though if you examine the scene objectively, there's no reason to think this, other than that it was the stated mission for so long. There was no sun in sight. They were drifting through empty space. Then, boom. The sun was growing from ground zero. The fact that this misapprehension was somewhat common probably speaks to how cemented the mission to destroy the sun had become as a critical plot point. And maybe also, to how well Scratch deceived everyone on the subject.

All of act 5, and to some extent all of Homestuck, has been the result of a very, very long con by Doc Scratch. His power source, and the source that fueled all this calamity in many other ways, was always going to be created in this way, by combined efforts of the kids and the trolls to save reality. Part of his job was to make sure that happened. That was the secret part of his job. The other part, openly stated, was to pave the way for the entrance of his master, which is triggered on the destruction of the troll universe, as illustrated by this virus. It turns out that doing these two things is one and the same. No green sun without the death of a universe. No Lord English either.

You may retrace his conversations in light of this new fact. He says he never lies, and while he's certainly deceptive, I think you are hard pressed to find him saying something that is absolutely untrue. He misdirects, and lies by omission (which is something he makes clear he doesn't believe in). But just about everything he says can be validated in some way. There are clues to this outcome everywhere, hiding in plain sight.

Consider his conversation here. He speaks primarily in hypotheticals, about what would happen if they destroyed the sun. He says things often arranged like this: "And it is certainly true that The Tumor you will deliver to its location has enough power to destroy it completely." He says they will deliver the bomb to the sun's location. He just doesn't mention the sun won't be there yet. He also says its powerful enough to destroy it, hypothetically. Also true. He just doesn't mention it won't be around to destroy, until the bomb goes off!

There's also this tidbit. "TT: It is nearly twice the mass of our universe." Because it is literally comprised of the detonated mass of two dead universes. And so on.

**KALYN**

When you click on that link on "this virus" you see ~ath again. I think it has something to do with computer programming, so it makes sense Karkat would have something like that.

**KALYN**

Next up. Even though this isn't a "revelation", it should probably be bolded and discussed.

Time and space do not work comprehensibly in the furthest ring.

How can the sun just have been created, when it was there all along, fueling Bec and Doc Scratch for ages, and more recently, Bec Noir, Jadesprite, etc? See above.

TT: The greater the distance you travel through it, the less reliably time flows.

TT: And the more time you spend in it, the less reliably space behaves.

TT: Time and space aren't as different as you might think.

So in other words, what really happened is Rose and Dave's journey took them quite a distance through the furthest ring. The longer they traveled, the less reliably you could place them on the timeline. They may have traveled a few miles, while simultaneously wandering millions of years into the future. And after another few miles, may have gone eons into the past, way before the green sun existed. This is in fact what happened. The dark gods helped chart their course through this spacetime maze to deliver them to this location, at this time. Take that for what you will.

This is also at the heart of why the sun became visible to the trolls the moment it did, rather than always being visible. It is not because it "just happened", since the respective timeframes are incompatible, and that notion doesn't actually make sense. The moment of Bilious Slick's detonation (our universe), that was the moment the light from the green sun's ancient explosion finally managed to reach their session, after its long circuitous travel through knotted spacetime. In fact, we don't even need a complex spacetime model to understand this. Right now, there is celestial phenomena happening in our universe that we cannot see, because the light hasn't reached us yet! It won't for millions of years.

The light from the sun is important to the trolls not only as a beacon, but as a momentary illumination of a "straight line" through the furthest ring. If light can make it from here to there through the broken space, then so can a meteor, as long as it travels fast and doesn't miss the opportunity. This is a decent reason for the urgent getaway, as well as, presumably, the need to escape Jack's ire while he is distracted. So Sollux went all out, putting a little extra mustard on it so to speak, and reprised his ill fated ancestor's role as helmsman.

Aradia's chronology is also worth noting. She is not actually witnessing the birth of the sun, as this (remember, nonlinear) animation seems to illustrate. When she flew inside Jack to escape, the sun was already there waiting for her. Every time we have seen Aradia hanging out in front of the sun, or hanging out with Sollux's (half-)ghost, that was well after the sun was created.

AA: i am waiting for friends to arrive

AA: they will need my help

TA: what friends?

TA: m0re ghosts?

AA: no theyre alive

AA: first

AA: there will be two humans

AA: they should be joining us any minute

She's of course referring to Rose and Dave. And of course, at the time, we're meant to believe they will arrive in the moon they are piloting, ready to crash kamikaze style into the sun and blow it up. There's little reason to question this. But it turns out all along, she was waiting for them to COME OUT of the sun! As freshly minted god tiers. The nonlinear flow of the story was at every turn directing you away from the suspicion that their mission would create the sun, rather than destroy it.

TA: then what?

AA: then rest of our party

AA: the survivors

TA: 0h

TA: so then, we made it 0ut here alright.

AA: yes

AA: well

AA: they made it

AA: your body will arrive with them

Then the trolls, who are now in transit, will theoretically rendezvous with all of them at the sun. And then what? We'll see.

I think that's enough to digest for now. I'll make another part later, talking about some other aspects of the Flash, like Jack's convoluted inter-session journey, the scratch, the expanding 4th wall and all that stuff.

**KALYN**

More about what happened. There's still plenty to cover. I won't be totally exhaustive, but I'll mention what I think is worth noting. At this point, I believe most people have understood most of this stuff. Still, there may be a few things mentioned here that didn't quite occur to you, or some connections you haven't made yet.

The Flash answers most major questions still dangling in the story up to this point. What happens at the critical moment. (Two universes are destroyed, creating the green sun, while the kids complete the scratch and escape through the 4th wall. This has also been referred to at points as "The Great Undoing." From early in Hivebent: "AA: and we twelve will behave simultane0usly as the pawns and the 0rchestrat0rs of the great und0ing") We know who reaches god tier and how. (All the kids!) Which trolls survive, the fate of the exiles, who wears the white queen's ring, and how the blood got on Jack's hand. That last question was probably the most maddening of the bunch for a long time. The bloody hand was first shown in Jade: Enter, and as Jack's list of victims grew, his hand continued to be clean. The list of possibilities kept narrowing, until we finally found out here, along with an answer to another major question, how he actually got into the troll session.

The circuitous journey of Bec Noir

A summary: after he put Jade on her quest bed, he looked up and realized he didn't have much time. The scratch was about to wipe out the session. So, he fled the session through one of the only ways available, by riding a meteor through a portal back to Earth. The meteor was the one host to the frog ruins, and he tucked himself in the same time capsule the White King did not too long ago. The meteor crashed on prehistoric Earth, formed the ruins, and waited about 413 million years. Then the king came out of the capsule to greet the queen. Jack followed about ten seconds later to their surprise, and killed them immediately. He exited the ruins, and AR began detonating the four stations. These were rigged presumably as part of the exiles' unspoken plan, as a failsafe to prevent Jack from doing just this, in case he found his way there. AR hesitated to blow up WV's station, because he knew WV was still trapped inside. At this pause, Jack killed AR, and quickly entered the final remaining station to investigate, while (foolishly, it turns out) dismissing PM as irrelevant.

In the station, he found this device, which had been switched to the left side of the frog with the queen's key, most likely by the queen at an earlier point. Thus it would transport the user to the session outside this universe, i.e. the troll session, as opposed to the one inside it, the kid session. But it was out of power, and had been ever since WV flew the station halfway around the world to find the ruins. So Jack, looking for a power source, located the uranium in WV's belly, probably via his keen sense of smell as an omnipotent dog. He ripped the uranium out of a hapless WV's gut, thus bloodying his hand. He powered the station, which both opened its hatch, and allowed him to flee from yet another doomed reality. He likely knew he couldn't stay in that universe for long, since he recognized the red miles destroying it above. But he probably didn't understand that would be his own doing from outside the universe, hours in his future.

Jack, bloody hand and all, then appeared in the troll session just as the trolls were about to enter the universe they created, as we saw in Jade: Enter. He then went on his murderous rampage through their session, some of which we saw in quick replays during this animation. He destroyed all 12 planets, Prospit, Derse, and finally, turned his red miles attack on Bilious Slick, destroying the very universe he just narrowly escaped from. And in doing so, he contributed his share to the critical moment. His alternate session self, Spades Slick, contributed the other part by killing Snowman, "simultaneously." All of Act 5 could be subtitled "Jack Noir Kills Everybody" and that's pretty much the guiding principle I had in structuring it from the start. Jack Noir has killed every major character, in one way or another (with maybe a few exceptions, like PM), including the entire population of two universes.

Then, finally, as he viewed the aftermath of Bilious Slick's destruction in Skaia's water-sphere, and noticed the green sun appearing in the distance, he saw PM enter with WV's body on the frog platform, the same way Jack arrived about 10 hours prior. After he left the desert, she went into the now-open station, and dragged WV's body to safety, away from the bombs, but was faced with the universe's imminent destruction overhead. She noticed WV had dropped the ring he'd been hiding all along, so she put it on and assumed all of Jack's powers. Then, again probably due to enhanced canine tracking abilities, immediately knew where to follow Jack. She brought WV, likely with the hope that he may survive, as well as his firefly Serenity, and is now prepared for a duel.

Slick kills Snowman

It was established in the intermission that when Snowman dies, the universe is destroyed. (Relating of course to her 8-ball theme, and billiards rules involving pocketing that ball, or scratching while pocketing it.) Hence, when Slick shoots her through the heart with Scratch's single-cueball-bullet-firing gun, the trolls' universe (blue) comes to an end. Recall that Scratch browbeat Slick into agreeing to take his gun and kill her. With nothing in particular left to lose, or live for, Slick complied, and more than likely took enjoyment from settling this old score, even though it meant his own death too. Note that during the standoff, it seemed Snowman welcomed the attack. This was, after all, the culmination of her role, both as the black queen, and as a servant of Lord English.

As the black queen of Derse, her basic role is to oppose creation. She wars with Prospit, and stands in the way of the heroes who seek to create a universe. Since she was exiled from the session, she could no longer fulfill that role. So she was offered another way, by Doc Scratch, in an agreement of mutual interest. Since she couldn't oppose the creation of a new universe, she could facilitate the destruction of another. Scratch gave the queen the powers of Snowman, and bound her life in some mysterious way to the troll universe itself (turning the typically red blood of a queen to blue, the color signifying that universe). Which is of course, another giant frog much like the one Jack killed, which we have never seen from the outside. Ironically, to fulfill her role, she was bound to the life of a creature she loathed, which happened once before in the troll session when they prototyped a frog. She was disgusted by the transformation, and removed the ring, which lead to her eventual exile, and meeting with Scratch in the desert.

Her role as Snowman also suited Lord English's purposes, as her death provided the mechanism for his entrance, as well as contributed to the creation of the green sun. This appears to be a pattern with LE, enslaving various women, who can only die by completing their term of service, and vice versa. He recruited Aradia's and Feferi's ancestors in the same way. From the perspective of LE as a crime boss rather than an immortal demon, he's somewhat like a ruthless pimp. Whoever he is. This is one of the few major questions lingering, in case you didn't notice.

Anyway, more to talk about, but enough words for now.

**KALYN**

Ehhh I've got to get back to work soon so let's see how fast I can knock out the rest of this.

Let's continue from the point of all the stuff about Jack's massacre through Exile Town, and address issues surrounding

The big chess game

After all this, events involving the carapace people still resemble an extremely complicated interdimensional game of chess. Everything the royalty does is strategic in the bigger picture. The black queen was exiled, but found another way to fulfill her role through a complex maneuver of self sacrifice. The white queen's retreat from the session, after Jack stole the black queen's ring and wrecked Prospit and the Battlefield, was a defensive regrouping strategy on post-apocalypse Earth. She formed an elaborate plan, most of which went unwritten but could be understood mostly by deduction. Basically, she mobilized remaining exiles there, planned to leave this universe via one of the stations, destroying them all behind them to burn the bridge, but not before reuniting with the king from the time capsule. She also bestowed her title as queen to PM as her successor to rule the new kingdom they would build, and privately bestowed the responsibility on WV to some day wear the ring and hunt down Jack, wherever he might be. The problem is, Jack short-circuited her strategy by appearing immediately after the king arrived, killed WK and WQ right away, thus finally winning the chess game for his kingdom, or more particularly, himself.

Almost.

The final gambit belonged to PM though, when she found the ring, put it on, and inherited the true powers of a queen, more than just in name. Neither PM, nor any carapace creature, can literally be considered a pawn. But she is pawn-like in rank, as many are in this exotic and diverse race of chess people, and being the only piece left standing, she put the ring on and became the most powerful type of piece possible. Much like a pawn reaching the end of a chess board, and becoming a queen. For now, with her and Jack's powers being about equal, the chess game sits in stalemate.

God Tiers

First let's look at what happened to Rose and Dave.

When Rose asks Scratch whether she will reach god tier, he responds,

You have exactly a fifty percent chance of ascending to the god tier.

TT: That's a strange answer.

I know.

TT: Why such a precise probability?

Because, much like the decisions you must face to complete your dual suicide missions, you have two ways of achieving godhood to choose from.

Which was before Jack killed her, and John revived her with a kiss, leaving only her dream self. When she died, this eliminated one of the ways she could reach god tier, the only way we knew of explicitly at the time. This is by having a waking self and a dream self, both alive. When the waking self dies on the quest bed located somewhere on the planet, the player's dream self takes over permanently, assumes god tier status, and wakes up on the battlefield, while the waking self's corpse lies dead on the quest bed thereafter. This is how John reached god tier, and how Jade did as well. (Sort of.)

Dave and Rose only had one life left. They'd both been killed by Jack, and then revived as their dream selves. They only had the other means of reaching god tier, which we knew little about. We only had Aradia's example to speculate from.

It turns out, the other way involves another set of quest beds in the core of the moons of Prospit and Derse. Reaching god tier involves using the only life you have left, and dying on that quest bed. Then, rather than waking up as a god tier on the Battlefield, the dead body simply resurrects automatically, transforming then and there. This is the basic outline of the process, with some caveats from examples we've observed.

Aradia was always a special case, since she was dead long before entering the session. She began the session as a ghost, and then a ghost inside a robot, which never actually counted as having a living waking self. She was never alive from the start, so she always only had the one ascension method available to her, by the death of her dream self, which had been sleeping on its quest bed all long. It was not in the core of the moon though. The moon only had five towers, because she was never a living player, and didn't "belong" with the rest of the players on her team of Derse dreamers. So her dream self was sequestered away from the others, in the core of Derse. She reached god tier when Jack destroyed Derse.

We also can't be sure that's all there is to this method. Is it a simple matter of dying on the bed, or is more required? In the only two examples we have of this, Aradia and Dave+Rose, they die spectacularly in an explosion of green fire. Is that among the requirements? This is inconclusive.

Also, god tier Aradia, Dave, and Rose were all unharmed by the fire during the resurrection process. Dave and Rose's case was so extreme, they actually emerged from the core of a sun. Does the transformation method itself protect them, until complete? Or is it just the simple matter that upon transforming, they are now immortal, and dying in the very explosion leading to their ascension would count as neither just nor heroic? You may speculate.

After examining all that, Jade's ascension is simple in comparison. Her dream self died, but she brought it back to life by prototyping the stuffed corpse in her grandpa's lab, making Jadesprite. So, she did in fact have a living dream self, so option #1 was available. This had the side effect of turbo charging her god tier state. She not only has the Witch of Space powers and immortality, she merged with the sprite, which was imbued with Bec's powers. She now has the abilities of a god tier player, a sprite, and a first guardian all in one.

Ironically, the green sun which they were seeking to destroy, now powers two of the heroes opposing Jack: Jade and PM.

The Scratch

This is all pretty straightforward. We saw John at the beginning, fighting very strong monsters on the Beat Mesa, and initiating the Scratch with a giant Quill of Echidna, just as he was instructed to by Karkat. He killed the monsters easily with lava tornadoes and his Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer, completed the full jagged mark across the record's surface, and the whole Beat Mesa took off towards Skaia. It was releasing its energy the whole time, causing the Medium to crackle with that background energy you saw so often. Before it could get to Skaia, Jade teleported him to her ship. Once it entered Skaia, it fully released its temporal energy, and caused the hard reset, totally wiping out the session. But not before Jade collected all the planets, the Battlefield, and John on her Propitian battleship, and flew through a gigantic 4th wall.

The 4th Wall

First of all, she didn't actually conjure the 4th wall out of thin air. Remember when Karkat told her to turn the wall off, and then draw it? He was asking her to captchalogue an undamaged copy using her Pictionary modus, for this exact purpose. The eventual getaway. So she had it on standby, waiting for the right time to use it.

As she expanded it, and we crept ever closer to the completion of the scratch, we saw individual panels from early in the story flashing backwards. From a visualization standpoint, this is just reminding us that the scratch is in fact undoing everything we just read, all the way back to page one, and starting over fresh in a different instantiation of the universe. But if you want to understand why all that was literally being broadcast through the wall at that moment, you could consider what happened to be on the other side of the wall: Lord English's coat. Why would the interior of the coat broadcast those flashbacks? No need to get into it too much. Suffice to say, it belongs to someone purported to be a master of time.

Will the coat still be there the moment they crash through the glass? Recall that this is all happening "simultaneously" with the rest of the critical moment, which is the juncture that summons him. When he is summoned, he may need his coat. Whether he retrieves it or not, we'll just have to see.

What's waiting for them on the other side, beside a big ugly coat? Recall the setup I had with the two 4th walls facing each other, separated by one yard. They will break through the wall on the right, traveling nearly the speed of light, and presumably, break through the wall on the left to enter another reality. If you were thorough during Seer: Descend, you might have caught this excerpt on a bookshelf. "Though we adore Him we shall never enjoy His beauteous Croak. We spill our blood on acres of black and white so they may cross the yellow yard. At last in Skaia's reflection through broken glass He may find the pond in which He's meant to squat."

The yellow yard, regarding my self indulgent spiel about the degree of author intervention to expect, very simply refers to the physical distance between the two 4th walls the heroes will pass through, to escape from a doomed reality into one of promise. The heroes will coexist with me, the author, for the span of three feet, and while traveling very quickly, for the duration of thee nanoseconds. This was always my tongue in cheek way of quantifiably demonstrating the absolute minimum degree of influence an author insert can have on the story, while not having none. It's essentially a gag, but serving a practical purpose in the story, and a very concrete, understandable mechanism by which they may hop between realities.

I am also pretending that my personal interaction with Doc Scratch doesn't count as influencing the story directly. It's influencing the way the story is told, which after all, is what authors tend to do.

**KALYN**

Does AH do this for everything?

Because if he does, what are we even doing?

Oh hey I just fucking realized.

**KALYN**

Because of that conversation with Scratch Gamzee was having, and those notes he left for Karkat and Terezi (possible the others? Sollux? Since Sollux was all confused about his feelings toward Gamzee during that one flash? Hmmm...) and that part of Gamzee's conversation with Scratch when he was like "all that is motherfuckin done" and stuff. Pretty sure Scratch (or Cal, but that's like an extension of Scratch. Maybe Scratch talks to Gamzee through Cal) told Gamzee to gather everyone on the roof. Dunno about killing the other trolls though.

Mystery of his motives behind sending the weird notes: solved!

**KALYN**

Okay. Remember this? "CG: IT INVOLVES SOMETHING TO DO WITH A YELLOW LAWN RING.

CG: WHICH ISN'T THE HUMAN WORD FOR IT, IT'S JUST YOUR WORD IS SO DUMB I FEEL DUMB SAYING IT.

EB: word for what?

CG: I GUESS YOUR ENTIRE ESCAPE PLAN SOMEHOW PIVOTS CRITICALLY AROUND AN UNWATERED PIECE OF RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY?

...a sidewalk? What is he talking about?"

That annoyed me to no end! Apparently it's a yardstick. Thanks to AH for setting that one up. (It's in that long explanation up there, which had links to other pages of Homestuck attached. He set up the fourth walls facing each other with a yardstick separating them.)

**KALYN**

Hey. There's an intermission now. We get to see Lord English. Go watch it real quick before you read any further and I spoil you!

...

Have you watched it?

...

...

...

...

You watched it?

Okay good.

He is somehow connected to Gamzee.

My hope is that it isn't some older mutated Gamzee. Like some sort of Resident Evil shit. That would suck.

But see Gamzee is the only character I know with that Honking clown obsession. I don't know if that was also a part of his ancestor. The Subjugglator? Whatever he was.

He's also "the most important character in Homestuck" and Lord English is pretty fucking important.

**KALYN**

Oh, and he strangely was able to come into existence by occupying Doc Scratch's dead puppet body. Even the torn off leg became a part of him. But his face looks more like Cal's with the structure of it. Which also kinda makes sense, since Cal's genes went into Scratch's genetic makeup.

Also, the fact that English is honking and covered in clown makeup sort of makes Gamzee's "religion" a bit more legitimate. It seems much more relevant now.

**KALYN**

But it could also be attributed to the fact that Gamzee somehow altered (or rather shaped) the universe and its dwellers by sticking a Harlequin doll thing in DreamJohn's room, making clowns a part of John's subconscious, which then affected his prototyping of the Kernelsprite which then affected all the creatures of the SBURB universe (which is also their universe). Lord English' clownness could be attributed to that.

So. Who knows?

We'll have to wait and see I guess.

**JESSICA**

CAL! Li'l Cal! That's who he makes me think of

Fucking Li'l Cal

**JESSICA**

oooooofffff VERDAMMT ES! VERDAMMT ALLES! Ok, so...

Creating the Green Sun, that makes sense, and...there is very little we can say on the subject since it is canon...direct from AH's mouth/hands.

I don't think I thought they destroyed the sun, I don't think? Because Dave and Rose didn't find a sun when they stopped and set it off. It would have been painfully obvious if there was a sun. Literally (for them). The trolls probably still think Dave and Rose destroyed the sun, don't they? Or I would assume they would, since they always thought the flash of green light was the sun being destroyed.

Doc Scratch is smart and cunning enough to not have to lie yet not let someone else know the whole truth. Oh, wait, that's called only saying exactly what the other person needs to know. Although he manages to do this without making the other person suspect that something is wrong or they are missing too much of the puzzle. Rose didn't really trust him, did she? And wasn't it Vriska that had been talking to him before too? I don't remember either of them particularly liking him.

Back to what you were saying, "And it is certainly true that The Tumor you will deliver to its location has enough power to destroy it completely." That is exactly what I was talking about (I hadn't read this particular part yet). He doesn't have to lie, but he also doesn't have to tell them everything. "The sun's location" was, and would normally be translated to mean the sun would be there. Most people believe that, I'm sure I did, and did you?

"It is nearly twice the mass of our universe" I really wish I knew more about how stars are created

The reason Karkat had that book was because Sollux gave it to him (at least I'm 90% sure of that). Karkat likes programming, but he sucks at it. He also blames himself partially because of his sucky programming skills. There was something about how bad luck would befall everyone if he started a program and his computer would blow up. Well it did, and he blamed himself for all the sucky stuff. Well, that and because he was the leader and he should have taken better care of his "troops" or "followers".

With the time and space thing, I think that could help my time loop theory. It's kind of like with time travel. If you go back in time and change something, it can only exist if you always go back and change that something (which is why Back to the Future doesn't really make a whole hell of a lot of sense) Whatever you do in the past will affect what you do in the future, so, if what you do in the past would change the reason why you went in the first place the change would never have happened. ... Ok, I'm talking myself into circles and I sort of lost the point. Basically, I still think the kids and trolls are in a continuous loop. If they don't do what they do now, they will never exist, so if they deviate from what they are supposed to do they never would have done it in the first place. So either they stop existing and then NONE of this could ever have happened, or it just fixes itself. Although the former is more likely.

...

Well... I should seriously learn to read this all through and then react, because I didn't see your whole spiel about the space time thing. However, I think my statement still stands.

I like your point about the green sun and the light. It gives good perspective on things.

TA: so then, we made it 0ut here alright.

AA: yes

AA: well

AA: they made it

AA: your body will arrive with them

That last part sort of implies that Sollux won't be alive when they arrive at the green sun. At least, that is how I am taking it. It wouldn't surprise me (even though it would be sad) because he is putting forth extreme physical and mental strain on his body. He can probably only put up with so much. Either that, or the (half-)ghost Sollux will be able to join back up with the live Sollux? That theory seems less likely to me.

"I won't be totally exhaustive, but I'll mention what I think is worth noting."-followed by what could easily fill (at least) two pages. Hello Rose.

Did you really think of the rules behind pool/billiards yourself, or did you look it up?

I have a problem with this whole Prospit vs. Derse thing and how that affects the heroes. Because half of the heroes are from Derse and half are from Prospit. The "locals" of the planets don't attack the heroes of their respective planet (and I don't think any of the heroes have ever been to the other planet, have they?) So, I don't know. Were all of the bad guys (at the beginning) black? I thought I saw some white ones in there too. Maybe ashen, that might be what I'm thinking about.

Ok, I guess she doesn't want the frog to happen, huh?

Wait, who prototyped a frog? I don't remember this. Who was it who didn't prototype their lusus? Feferi didn't, right?

**JESSICA**

(the sticky note got too full)

**KALYN**

FYI those large walls of text were mostly copy/pasted straight from AH's words. They were his large walls of text. So many of your questions should probably be directed to him.

Aradia prototyped a frog. It was the frog temple she had lived in.

Remember? Her lusus was already dead.

**JESSICA**

Oh, ok. Well, why didn't you say most of it was copy and pasted? There aren't a whole lot of direct quotes from the comic anyway, back to my part two thing of this mess

Ok, so, I only realized it really wasn't you (before I was extraordinarily confused by you not only sounding a lot like Rose, but also seeming to suddenly treat this like an essay, which I mention...but you'll see what I mean)

**JESSICA**

It would make sense to me if it was Fef that didn't prototype her lusus, since it was fucking Oglogoth (or whatever) and if that had been prototyped, any of the enemies could have emitted the vast glub and killed them all, right? Or was Oglogoth prototyped and that was a major fear the entire time? Or, was it Kanaya who didn't? She would make sense for the whole frog thing. Fucking A... I'm thinking of this all wrong, aren't I? They prototyped their lusi first, didn't they x.x So then the enemies had the form and power of the original prototype (the lusi) and the sprites had the intelligence of their second. That would be why the enemies don't all look like cats crossed with dogs and nanas and daves and jades x.x guh.

Did Spades Slick have to kill Snowman since Dave and Rose blew up the troll universe with the tumor? She would have died anyway, wouldn't she? Or ... did you mention something about her dying at the same time as when the tumor went off? Did she need to die for the tumor to have a proper detonation?

I totally forgot about LE using Fef's ancestor. Aradia's was pretty obvious. Who was Fef's ancestor, and how was she tied to LE? If you remember off hand, please give me a refresher.

I'm still confused about Bec Noir. What is his goal? What is his purpose for going to the trolls session? Sure his session was about to be destroyed. So was it just self-preservation? Or did he have a reason for fucking with the trolls? Is he, as a Dersean, hellbent on destroying life and keep it from being created? I felt like Jade was a little bit of his motivation for acting how he did though. Maybe I am too much of a romantic for this. I feel like he went on a rampage to exact revenge. Now I realize that it probably wasn't I was so pulling for them to have the same sort of relationship Bec and Jade always had But when you throw in the bloodthirsty super-pissed Jack things don't really turn out well.

PM's queen thing makes sense though, in terms of chess (should seriously apply that knowledge a little more often) and I only called them pawns because they aren't the king or queen or any of the "administration" So, while yes I acknowledge they are not really pawns, they are more like "commoners," laymen, or, from a strategical and royal perspective, throw away pawns for a higher purpose.

It would make sense to me that Dave and Rose wouldn't have been killed from creating the Green Sun, since, technically, their heroic act was before they died. So they all ready died that way. No need to beat a dead horse... Or dead kid...

Ok, the beat mesa. The scratch across it looked like Dave's symbol, didn't it? What is that influenced by? Is that influenced by Dave's design? The Beat Mesa looking like a record influenced by Dave's interest? Was it Dave's interest/logo that influenced the way the scratch looked? Or was it because of the end result that Dave had that symbol? I don't think this will necessarily be answered, but it is something I have been pondering.

Ok, how did Karkat know she would need the fourth wall? (Also, would you stop treating this like a research paper? XD/DX... unless that is AH speaking again?)

Oh, fuck! It is him. God, You have to say when it is not you speaking! You couldn't have even given your thoughts on all this for me to react to? Rather than just leaving it at "Well, it wasn't me saying anything, so... Go ask someone else" Thanks...

**JESSICA**

My Li'l Cal comment was before I read your stuff. I was a little confused why he honked, but his face definitely looks like Cal. So, LE is Gamzee's religions culmination? If so, then he has been working for this since the very beginning (with the clown thing in John's room). Maybe Cal is Gamzee's pawn and his looks are based of LE? That could explain why Gamzee is the most important character. He influenced John into prototyping with the clown, which drove Jack Noir to commit regicide and go on his rampage. Therefore everything could very well be his fault

Intriguing...

**KALYN**

reading

lol I answered the wrong thing...

**KALYN**

Aradia prototyped the frog, all the rest used their lusii, including Oglogoth. Fef's ancestor was the Condesce. I also think she's Betty Crocker. I am also confused about Noir. Derseans are not hellbent on destroying life, unless you only mean the royals. Because if was WV who decided to take a stand against all the war, and he led a rally of Dersites and Prospitians against Noir before the reckoning. I think Dave's design was a sort of foreshadowing of the Scratch on the Beat Mesa. Karkat knew she would need the fourth wall because she knew she would need it and future Jade told Karkat, who then told past Jade about it. Jade is prophetic you know, and she told Karkat about the whole plan thing, so. Yeah. Sorry about that though. I figured he could better explain everything in a way that I couldn't, being the writer and all... And I think there's more to that whole clown universe influence paradox effect. Because LE also employed the Condesce, who I think is Betty Crocker, who sent Dave that ICP video on the forum, which caused him to send it to Gamzee, which set Gamzee on a rampage, which motivated him toward revenge, which took the form of Gamzee leaving that clown in DreamJohn's room to torment him. Then the whole prototyping thing and the effects on the enemies and the universe.

Also Gamzee was manipulated by Scratch a bit, and probably Cal since he can understand him to some extent. Same thing though, since Cal is pretty much Scratch's ancestor and it seems that Scratch is LE's ancestor/host body(?) so Cal has a direct relation to LE.

The question is to what end are Cal, Scratch and LE making sure all these things happen? Besides bringing LE into the universe. Why does LE need to come into the universe? What is his purpose? What is his ultimate goal?

**JESSICA**

Yeah...

I forget to mention that the 8 balls were the only constant among the flashing pool balls (although I think I might have seen some among the flashing ones)

I just thought it was interesting, but nothing too surprising given the circumstances

**KALYN**

I noticed that too, and I think it's binary code. 8balls=0 and the others=1 or something like that, since it was what the virus was supposed to look like.

**JESSICA**

Maybe


	23. What is this?

What? People are actually reading this? And to think I had given up on it! I'll go through ALL of our messages (I have a lot!) just for you Firsty! Thing is, we started talking about it on two different message threads, one including a third friend, Emily. I shall work diligently and tirelessly to bring these to you, mark my words! (I hope none of what we've said seems outdated…)

While this is happening, have you checked out Superstuck on tumblr? I'm currently addicted to this AU, it's quite amazing.


	24. Kalyn has great gaydar

Much thanks to "Firsty" for letting me know this is worth a smidgeon so I could go back and read some of these gems. :D

Broken links are broken. -_-

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

watching Vampires Kiss

With Nic Cage...

XD

**JESSICA**

Is that the one where he runs around shouting "I'M A VAMPIRE"?

**KALYN**

yes. fuckin hilarious.

There are so many moments in that movie where it's just like "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Like there's a scene where he's looking in mirrors like "Oh God! Where am I? I've become one! I've become a vampire! Where am I?"

But you can see him just fine.

Or when he bites his pillow, or when he turns his couch upside down to resemble a coffin, or when he puts on fake vampire teeth and starts crawling around...

It's just...really really funny!

Although I wonder what genre the movie actually falls under...since I'm pretty sure he's clinically insane.

**JESSICA**

it's probably...comedic drama? Clearly it is also a comedy since, as you said, "it is fucking hilarious"

So, yeah, operation ghost babies is a-go! My ghost guy drowned so he looks like Dr. Manhattan

He's hungry though; sadly I don't think he can suck the souls out of other sims

He's a teacher btb

**KALYN**

Look up Hemera. New denizen I guess.

**JESSICA**

?

busy though

busy busy busy

talk to you later

**KALYN**

K that's cool. I meant later anyway. But I'm gonna keep talking. Judging by their conversation, Jane and Jake speak to each other with this sort of front, so I think their personalities have a bit of ...ungenuineness? That's not a word.

**JESSICA**

ingenuity

**KALYN**

I thought that meant like...resourcefulness or something. Nevermind. I was right about the Condesce. Pwned.

Not so much pwned if this was already confirmed somewhere else for a long time, but...

There are other signs of brainwashing, namely her brand loyalty and all the popups that she endures when using her chat application. But that switch on the spoon does something now.

I'll look up Hemera.

She is the personification of day.

**KALYN**

There's really not much else on her. She doesn't have a very active role in mythology, and there's even different ideas about who she's related to. But Nyx is the goddess of night, and they can't both be in Tartarus at the same time (or rather they don't). Wonder if Nyx is someone else's denizen.

**KALYN**

Did some research on Tartarus too: "It is a deep, gloomy place, a pit, or an abyss used as a dungeon of torment and suffering that resides beneath the underworld." spooky. "Like other primal entities (such as the earth and time), Tartarus is also a primordial force or deity." That's a really interesting concept. Tartarus is both a deity and a place. Morgan just said like SBURB, which makes total sense. It's a game and a place that has an entire universe (more than one, actually) within it while also having some sort of entity-like control (ie: it controls inescapable paradoxes) and you never hear anything about its creators, it's just the game itself. That contains the lives of everyone within its intelligent design.

"Tartarus is also the unbounded first-existing entity from which the Light and the cosmos are born."

Like SBURB?

**JESSICA**

well ingenuine means ... un-genuine, so, i dunno

**JESSICA**

Hades is both a deity and a place

yeah that all makes sense (and i only said that thing about hades, because tartarus isn't the only place like that ;))

feh, stupid facebook and your lies *;) because it just looks stupid otherwise

WTF! blah!

**JESSICA**

Given the fact that the internet browser each kid used was also his or her denizen, i think it would be safe to assume that Hemera is Jane's. And you only got the Tartarus thing after doing research on Hemera? Because I didn't see anything about Tartersauce...or tartarus, but you know, what can you do?

**JESSICA**

Anyway, all you said makes sense, so do you think that Jane is a Prospit dreamer since her denizen is Hemera? Or could it be bassackwards and she is actually a Dersean dreamer? Since Jane and Jake share personality traits with Dave and Rose, it would make sense wouldn't it? Although, have we seen anything that would warrant this theory plausible? Are Prospit dreamers more forthright than Derse dreamers? With the four characters it's a little easier to make that assumption, but if we look at twelve characters.

**JESSICA**

The entire Team Adorabloodthirsty were Prospit Dreamers. They are Karkat, Terezi, Gamzee, Tavros, Vriska and Kanaya. We discussed before that Karkat is very genuine, he means pretty much everything he says, and if he doesn't, he is very obvious about it. Terezi...Terezi is about "justice" (not just the libra thing of course) or justice as far as the trollian society is concerned, but she hasn't really done anything that isn't honest, has she?

**JESSICA**

We know Gamzee was always honest about what he was doing, but nobody really paid him the mind he deserved, mostly because he was high most of the time, although, like we said above, he pretty much orchestrated everything that happened, and it wasn't like he was keeping that a secret

**JESSICA**

he would have told anyone who asked what his game was, wouldn't have he? that's my understanding anyway

Tavros is a no-brainer

he's the gentlest and most honest i would say. He doesn't like hurting other beings, he's not confident, but he does tell the truth

Vriska is a little tougher, and actually, i would say she is the odd one out, unless you want to argue that she was being "true to her nature" but still, that, i dunno

maybe as far as the troll society is concerned, but she led other trolls to their death almost constantly. But she didn't hide from what she was feeling, did she? When she killed Tavros, she told John that she felt terrible about it. so maybe that is what the difference between Prospit and Derse dreamers is? Prospit dreamers are honest to themselves, they don't try to hide what they feel from themselves?

**JESSICA**

So, that would raise some interesting questions about Team Blue

They are Aradia, Sollux, Nepeta, Equius, Eridan and Feferi

I would say Eridan out of all these is the easiest to diagnose. If we are going off the above theory, that Derse dreamers hide their feelings from themselves, that Eridan takes the cake. He, like we said before when we were dissecting their brains before, lies to himself constantly. He tells himself that he is so much better than the lowbloods, but he realizes he's not. However, he holds to the idea that he is better.

**JESSICA**

Aradia was a Derse dreamer, but she was asleep the entire time until her dream self died. So is that what made her "lie" to herself? They had to see the writing on the walls (literally) to wake up, right? But she never did, she never really had the chance to... I dunno about her.

Sollux is both a Derse and Prospit dreamer, so half the time he is honest with himself and the other half he's not. Part of his whole bi-polar thing. He's either really angry or really depressed, right? I can't quite remember.

Nepeta...what? At first I thought she would throw a wrench in my theory, but... her whole Karkat thing, does she really feel that? I'm not sure, she always seems so genuine. Or is she not being true to her blood color? She doesn't follow the hemo-heirarchy. So, i guess, you decide there.

**JESSICA**

Ok, i think i will throw something else in that too, lol

Her ancestor was head-over-heels for the Sufferer, wasn't she basically his Mary of Magdellan? Or whoever it was Jesus spoke to after he came back from the DEAD! (sorry, had to be overdramatic) So, i dunno. Now you decide, lol

Feferi... I guess the only thing that would be dishonest about her is that she doesn't do what her blood dictates either, i have no idea though with her

Did she ever want to be the Condesce?so?

I just don't know about her though

I, btw, don't want to approach Equius with a ten yard stick. just saying. Hell i don't think i would even want to be in the same room with him; he would smell sooooo bad!

**KALYN**

Okay lemme try to sort it out. Adorabloodthirsty: Karkat, Terezi, Vriska, Tavros, Gamzee, Kanaya. Blue: Aradia, Sollux, Nepeta, Equius, Eridan, Feferi. One thing I can think of is that everyone on the blue team has speech quirks that actually define them (or in some cases, that they hide behind). For Sollux and Aradia, they both had quirks that changed after they went through an enormous transformation, but the common one was the h0ll0w speech of the d00med 0_0. Nepeta uses her roleplaying as a front and hides behind a character. Equius has his 100% signs and horse puns and Eridan and Feferi have really annoying water quirks and fish puns. The last three have all been accused of hiding behind these quirks or using them to divert conversation or also of finding excuses to use those quirks. Not to mean that Vriska or Gamzee haven't also had their quirks commented on, but I think you could say that some of the characters are putting up a front in this sense with their quirks, kind of like how Rose and Dave always had a front when they were speaking to each other (they hid behind irony and sarcasm) and Jane and Jake seem to have this front of odd retro slang. I don't think it's a split between Prospit and Derse dreamers (the ones I think have this front are Nepeta, Equius, Vriska, Eridan, Feferi, and Terezi. They beat around the bush, I guess you could say.) The others are more straightforward-John, Jade, and the rest of the trolls. Jane and Jake could both be Prospit dreamers (did we see any clues in the new flash? I don't remember. Wanna say Prospit though.) and still have this sort of beating-around-the-bush type of front that appreciates lingual style rather than using words as purely a medium for a message. IDK, I'm getting kind of abstract here. It's a really abstract conversation. See if you can dissect it.

So Morgan and I just discussed all the fucking trolls and decided that they are all genuine/ungenuine in some way, which basically just means that they are all multi-dimensional characters and more complex than we can categorize.

The humans are easier to separate though, there being only four of them (at a time...)

**JESSICA**

Oh, damn, I thought they were all flat characters and had only characteristic.

What I was doing, honestly, was trying to figure out why they were split the way they were. I just noticed with the kids that Dave and Rose (the ones putting up a front) were Derseans, while John and Jade were very honest about myselves

I was just wondering if there was anyway to validate that with the trolls as well. And you're sure they're not flat? ;P

**JESSICA**

Anyway, I watched the flash again, I didn't notice it showing anyone in their dream outfits other than Cal. Maybe that was what you thought you saw? I don't know. Also, I would like to add that maybe the "old timey" speak is actually how they talk. I don't know, but LE did something to their past, so maybe whatever it did affected how they speak? I doubt it given they have all the same pop culture things (aside from Betty Crocker being a huge driving force), but still, that is a possibility..

**JESSICA**

Also, I was thinking when I saw the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff the Moive ad, that maybe this is what happens when Dave is a guardian, lol. We'll see how he looks all growed up though, probably not a whole lot different. lol. Bump, bump, bump... yeah, i guess I really don't have a whole lot to say. I just felt like I should mention these things *shrug* I await your reply

**KALYN**

"We'll see how he looks all growed up though...Bump, bump, bump..." Um...what?

**JESSICA**

...

i

hve no excuse for that

*have

what the fuck?

**KALYN**

Apparently the Crocker corp (my new name) is trying to take over everything, which Jane fully supports and looks forward to doing after she inherits the company. Also I think there's a picture of John inside her chest. He has a mustache. LAWL.

THERE ARE U'S NOW? WHY ARE THERE U'S?

GCAT

Those are the letters we use! YOU CAN'T USE U'S!

Anyway, I assume uranianUmbra is...either Mom or a troll, possibly. Hmmm...

talks a lot like Rose did, so it could very well be Mom. (also the double letter username leads me to believe it's a female.) If it is Mom, then that whole "BFFZ 4EVR" would very likely have been facetious.

"legendary octet of mUtUal progenitoriety will come together and heal a great breach in paradox space." So...eight friends. Or eight people anyway. Wonder who they are? Is it this four and our original four?

"a day delivered throUgh eighty billion years and foUr distinct Universal instances worth of Unfathomable tUrbUlence." Alright. the four separate universes of trolls/humans...I'm betting 80 billion years is the combined lives of all of them.

"and while the emerald eye of this storm is fixed in the abyss forever" So either the Green Sun (most likely) or like...it and everything related to it, and the horrible paradox of all these universes.

so whoever UU is, they are the all-knowing member of this foursome, like Jade was. (That is, if they're even part of the foursome.)

**KALYN**

It's not Mom. Because "UU: have yoU corresponded with yoUr first designated co-player yet?

GG: No, I haven't seen her online yet today.

GG: I'm really hoping Lalonde won't flake out on me this time. Have you heard from her?"

**KALYN**

I also don't think it's Strider, because UU mentions "the rest of yoU"

and UU usually means female

I wonder if it's not Crocker/the Condesce we're talking to. Or something like that.

Okay paraphrasing what I think must be noted since I couldn't just keep switching over with Morgan reading with me. It's a troll. It's a girl. Grey text? Doesn't mean much to me. Could it be one of the ancestors of the trolls?

Whoever it is is very kind and stuff, and she reminds me of Feferi actually, personality-wise. 'Cept Fef was a Derse dreamer, and so I assume it would be the same for her AUAncestral counterpart, since it seems the guardians/kids for these two universes share their dream planets.

Course, since the Alternate Alternia was a peaceful civilization, it could potentially be any of the ancestors after their own session (or about to play it, but in a different time...hard to explain, but I hope you just got that.)

**KALYN**

Anyway, I'm assuming whoever it is, she's an ancestor from the original SGRUB session, since 1) we haven't met her before and 2) she apparently somehow could correspond with Jane during her own session and they compared notes. We know she's a troll. We know she played SGRUB. She's not anyone we have met before. Therefore she must be an ancestor, but in the universe pre-scratch, so she wasn't an ancestor to begin with. So. Okay, she's not technically an "ancestor from the original SGRUB session" because that would be the trolls we already know. She's a player from the original SGRUB session.

**KALYN**

Apparently DNA coding uses GCAT but RNA coding uses UCAG, so I guess that U is acceptable now. But there better not be any UT/TU combinations! DX

**JESSICA**

Ok, so, this UU person is a troll, remember the little Hermes insignia (the medical society's insignia), was over the troll typing, plus she (how i am referring to "her" for now) is talking about playing a game at the same time and she is from a totally different universe

**KALYN**

Noted!

**JESSICA**

so this UU person is not a human, i don't know why you thought it was Mom

**KALYN**

-_- it was early on in the conversation.

I comment as I read.

**JESSICA**

I comment as I read too! lol

um, um, um

so most of what you just said after you came to the realization that Uu is in fact a troll, lol

um, so, Mom and Bro have not been altered, but Nana and Grandpa have been

or Poppop? lol

I also think it is interesting that the original kids were famous, or at least Dave and John seem to be

Dave with Hella Jeff and then John was on FRICKIN' NIGHT COURT MAN! Night court!

Then, Rose seems to have been doing experiments with cats. Was Mom? I know she found Mutie in the lab, but I can't remember the exact circumstances, was it when she tried to bring Jasper back?

I just don't know about Jade, we haven't really seen much from her

Although Jake's room is being taken over by plants

lol, just thought of this, but UU is using grey text like Karkat so what if 'she" is the Sufferer? lololololol

**KALYN**

Jane going through books. She has a detective horse book. "Hell. Fucking. Yes. -DS" is written on it. Dave Strider?

I wouldn't be surprised if he was a Brony. Actually, it would make sense if it was Bro, because we seem to be being consistent with letters for first names between paradox children. He's totally a Brony I'm sure.

Dane.

I bet it's Dane.

LOL Morgan said "Dark."

Dale!

Dick?

Dann? With two N's?

Donn? Dawn? (more of a girls name)

oh shit she totally is being brainwashed.

LOL tiara top has the sign of the Condesce. More evidence to prove a solid already-proven theory.

And we're about to meet Lalonde. Wonder what her name's gonna be! Ruby? Rave? Rain? Rach(el)? Renn? Babynames has a lot of possible choices that I don't feel like listing.

Rome? Rina? Reia? Roni? Rory? Ruth? I bet it's Ruth. Or Rain.

ROXY!

Dale, Dann, Dana, Dane, Deon, Deva, Demi, Deus, Duke, Duel, Dung, Doug, Drew, Dude, Duer, Duka, Dumi, Duff, Dunn, Dard, Dash, Dare, Devo, Dima, Dewi, Dezi, Diem, Dian, Dick, Dinh, Dusk, Dwyn, Dyre, Dean, Deka, Davu, Dell, Dino, Dion, Diya, Dong, Dior, Dirk. Legit all the 4-letter boy D-names on Babynames. Most likely candidates (to me) are Deus, Duke, Dude, and the more normal-sounding ones like Dale, Dane, Drew, Dick...

**KALYN**

Anyway. The letters R and D no longer look like actual letters with sounds to me, and suddenly I wonder how literacy became possible. I have to get off now though!

**JESSICA**

You know, I was going to mention how the tiaratop has the pisces symbol on it earlier...probably should have...

also, i would like to mention that the tiara top is reminiscent to what the great psiioniic wore while he was controlling the Condesce's ship, just saying

Roxy could work, lol, i guess it just depends on how you take Roxy. Is Roxy the girl that says BFFS 4EVRS (or whatever) or is she a hard knox sorta gal?

Dawn=Girl's name, no questions asked

**KALYN**

Huh. That's weird. Lalonde's online name is TG. It's not a double letter. We're starting to strayyyyyyy!

Her spelling/grammar suck.

So I think they both like Jake. Jane does apparently, but Lalonde (haven't yet learned her name where I am) is also into him, but in a more casual way (if that makes sense).

or maybe it's that they're siblings, so it's like a don't date your best friend's brother thing? but IDK if Jane knows they're close to siblings.

lol she's a drunk like Mom was. Things say the same...

She also has that passive-aggressive complex thing

I like Lalonde's theory about the "Batterwitch" because for some reason she totally reminds me of Dave.

**KALYN**

Oh and Lalonde called Jane naive for thinking she could hit on Strider. So. Why is she naive when Lalonde wants to hit on people, but she sees Jake as the only option? Or actually Jane's Dad is another option, but still. If Strider seems more available, but to Lalonde he clearly isn't, then does that mean he's...hm. We'll see. I don't want to jump into anything if it's just self-indulgence. I would feel retarded if it wasn't true and I thought it was.

You know what? I kinda like Lalonde.

You know what? I'm just gonna put up this possible theory as to Strider's traits. (I made an eloquent argument in a chat with Emily, so I'll just post it here.)

**KALYN**

I think Strider might be gay, judging from just Jane and Lalonde's conversation

Only because of one thing they said

Lalonde likes to hit on pretty much everyone she can, Jake and Dad being the two she mentioned, but Jane's relationship (or want for one?) with each of them makes them off limits to Lalonde.

**KALYN**

When Jane says that Lalonde should hit on Strider instead since he's available and they seem "perfect for each other" Lalonde just calls her naive.

If Lalonde is willing to hit on anyone, yet she sees Strider as unavailable, then I think this conclusion makes sense.

There! Copy/pasted!

So we have GT for John and Jake, GG for Jade and Jane, but TG is for Dave and Lalonde. Is Strider gonna be the other TT?

Which could also go to obscurely support some theory about why Lalonde will not hit on Strider.

Watch the name be something weird like "transgenderedTimelord" or something like that.

t?T?ied

This is what MSPAWiki had for his screen name. Dunno where exactly it's from (my guess is it was partly hidden on one of the panels showing Jane's computer) but yeah mine doesn't exactly fit that. lol

**KALYN**

Yep. /?s=6&p=006035

**KALYN**

Also I didn't notice all the subliminal messaging on this page before, but I probably should have.

OH! OH! OH! on UU's wiki page, it says she's suspected to be the "legendary 13th troll"! Which totally explains her symbol, since it's two snakes and I'm pretty sure the new 13th sign is a snake!

I HAVE TO GO!

**JESSICA**

Ok, first thing I saw when I opened this page "I think Strider might be gay." So... I have no idea where you got Strider being gay from... At all. I'm going to look at it again, but, they talked about them once, and Jane said Lalonde and Strider were perfect for each other

lol, so I was thinking about how Lalonde said that Dad was super good looking, and I laughed like "Oh my God, this chick is so super drunk" and "Wow, that is creepy, he is definitely old enough to be her dad" and then it hit me "Duh! They got together in the original universe!" So, yeah, that was my little bit there, lol, I haven't even read your stuff yet because I want to see where you got the Strider being gay thing

**JESSICA**

was it the part where Lalonde was like "So naive" (lol, only more typo-y)

btw, i would totally sound like Lalonde if i didn't use the backspace button

it's ridiculous

that button is made for people like me!

**JESSICA**

Ok, so, you're theory could be correct, given his creepy affinity for smuppets with dick like probiscouses...

maybe...

probably... *glares*

anyway, the only reason I would argue it is because Lalonde seems to have really good intuition, despite her drunken stupor, that isn't so "stuporish"

but yeah, she thought the game meant the end of the world was coming, so maybe she feels there is a reason why she and Strider can't be together?

like it would be this super weird incestuous paradoxical mess?

i dunno, she just seems to have good intuition

lol, i also think it is funny that she thinks her mom keeps stocking the wine cellar for her, lol. Rose doesn't like drinking at all, and she would do something passive agressive, but is drinking the alcohol also a passive agressive ploy? i don't think it is

maybe Rose thinks her "daughter" is throwing out the alcohol to spite her? so she buys some more? it's not really a whole "one-up" manship it was in Rose's eyes

**JESSICA**

okey dokey, read what you said, and i'm happy i knew what you meant without even reading what you meant, so i guess that gives your theory some plausibility?

so, we have three options here

1) Strider is gay

2) Strider and Lalonde are actually super BFFS 4EVAR (my theory along with the next one)

3) Lalonde has killer intuition

Those are my theories on why she can't/won't flirt with him

because if they are BFFS 4EVAR (you know, along with Jane)

then he would almost be like a brother to her (which he is)

but i still think she has killer intuition

we shall see

but your idea that the double letters suggest sexuality (at the very least) i find is credible

**KALYN**

Yeah that intuition thing makes total sense too. But at the same time, she still supports Jane and Jake (to some extent...I think) so it might not be that. It could be a number of things though. Jane might not like Lalonde hitting on Jake because he's her brother? Or because she likes him. Either way, Lalonde considers him off-limits because of Jane's feelings on the matter.

**JESSICA**

or, Jane and Jake are BFFS 4EVAR as well, and i dunno

THEY'RE ALL BFFS 4EVAR!

ok, more homestuck, but not much has really happened, other than hilarious disguises and a mustache i think you would appreciate (kalyn especially, since I can't trust morgan to get onto her own account XD)

**KALYN**

Oh, I definitely appreciate that mustache. XD

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

cool story: Jake's bedsheets have the lusi on them.

"And movies that have skulls in them? Oh my god. So wonderful." I like him!

Yeah so far we're just talking about the bunny and his collaboration with Jade (he thinks it's the Jade from this universe though, but there's no reason for him not to. Somehow the machine he's using is doing more than he thinks, which is transportalizing the bunny through time. It's also transcending universes. Somehow...)

**KALYN**

And there's a bit of a cliffhanger about something in his sylladex. So I guess we'll see what that is in the next update. Or maybe much later.

**KALYN**

Apparently later.

"It's just another quirky fact about you that definitely doesn't have any greater significance, and never will." I'll be annoyed if it does.

**JESSICA**

"there's something about a girl who has spidery powers and a sassy attitude that is just so cool to you" lol, makes me think of Vriska XD probably because of the spider thing, and that's probably pretty much it, but still, lol

**KALYN**

K so it was UU who did the arm-twisting to get Jake to make the bunny.

She seems quite enamored with him.

And all of his computers when he wears them make him look like a Lord English cosplayer.

**KALYN**

And it seems that GrandmaJade's company that created them (which means Lord English was probably involved with it, especially since Jake's name is English...) is in competition with Crocker, which puts English and Betty Crocker in competition for being the villain, I think, maybe. Which is weird. But whatever their deal was, Crocker won over English.

I can't really say what this means exactly for the B1 universe villains though and their relationship/interactions. (B1 referring to UU's explanation of the situation to Jake.)

Weirdest thing.

So lately my computer screen will every once in a while flicker, like the entire screen, and I keep expecting evil subliminal messaging. "OBEY. SLEEP. CONSUME."

**KALYN**

Oh my god I fucking knew it!

Why is everyone in love with Jake?

STRIDER IS SO FLAMIING. At least from the (admittedly early) point in their conversation where I am.

Or maybe he's being totally ironic.

Which would still make me kind of half right!

Since they're on the same tangent.

Either way, I read "nakedly as possible" and was very pleased.

No it seems as though he's serious about it...

Huh. Well AWESOME! :DDD

**JESSICA**

YOU HAD ME "State your business, Jake" *swoon*

*at

You had me at ... yeah, you got that...

**JESSICA**

lol, yeah, it seems as though your theory is correct. Bro-puns, EVERYWHERE! That seems to be DS (another hint at his name) is all about Bro-puns XD

But, seriously, I like this guy

I dunno though, i think part of the reason why I think DS could (and most likely is) be gay, is most likely (suddenly that word looks very incorrect...) because of the Brobot and his tender ways while wrasslin' with Jake

that was a beautifully formulated sentence

also, btw, i'm pretty sure it is official that the Condesce works for Lord English. I'm pretty sure that was on the tumblr site. Where Doc Scratch (holy fuck DS :O) employed Aradia's ancestor and used Vriska and Rose, LE uses the Condesce

I...It just... Dave Strider, Doc Scratch, and now D Strider, DUDE!

lol, now i feel a little silly, BUT STILL!

I should not reply at 12:14 and with freezing hands. I can only type so much with so much accuracy, so it's all a strange garble of half coherent thoughts made even more incoherent from rebellious fingers

**JESSICA**

forgot to mention this, but I thought it was interesting that Bro's color is the same as Davesprite, and that Bro also has a separate entity from himself that is basically the same, but still different. You know? yeah

**KALYN**

DS also all have a connection to Cal! and yeah, that's a pretty interesting observation and I had a reason I got on here that has something to do with Jane...

oh yeah, Stuffed!John's arm got ripped off and stuff. Oh and that book he's holding is probably from the other universe, at least it seems to be since UU told Jane that her own handwriting is in it.

Jake's dream self is dead. Dunno how it happened, but he didn't even get a chance to wake up and they haven't started playing the game yet. Um. So yeah. Might affect their SBURB experiences...

and Jake lives in a jungle. awesome.

We know where Jade's pumpkins have been disappearing to...

From the original universe. Question answered!

welp I'm caught up now!

**JESSICA**

IT'S CRABDAD!

more missing arms

The heros of Hope seem to have some issues, huh...

first Eridan and now Jake

either way, in both of their sessions, hope seems to have been lost

**KALYN**

so that update was pretty much the best. Brobot looks so badass, all the other kids' feelings for Jake have been further confirmed (and he is aware of it and deliciously awkward about it) and this is just awesome in every way. Also it's interesting to me how Lalonde seems to know shit about Trollian culture, however it might not just be her, since Jake is the one isolated on an island or something like that. Since the Condesce is seriously involved on earth (as Crocker with Crocker Corp which has its talons in everything) then it wouldn't surprise me if she had a trolly influence on human culture. Might also explain why lusi are on the island, maybe.

**KALYN**

What the hell does Jane have that weird robot creature in Poppop for? Like I thought him losing his arm would follow that one-arm/one-eye motif, but apparently not since he doesn't get a head.

**JESSICA**

I think the rabbit is pretty much left to his own devices. Since she said that he might mind his manners (but he might not )

but, yeah, same here with the poppop thing, what else? Brobot does look sicknasty, I really like how Jake likes the Tinkerbulls! I also didn't know that "crabdad" was the official term for Karkat's lusus, but now that I think about it, it kind of makes sense. Which means he's a cross between a crab and a crawdad... yeah... and it's not a cute little pet name... because he's... Karkat's lusus, and he resembles a crab. you know, crab-dad...

**JESSICA**

yeah...

…

**JESSICA**

Poppop does have the eye thing!

**KALYN**

Oh shit, yes he does! And good to actually meet real Strider now. D'you think he's as..uh..flaming as his autoresponder?

(by the way, I've searched some fanart for Jake/Strider, and I've found a couple Jake/AutoResponder pics...haha)

**JESSICA**

TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass.

TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis.

TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word.

TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.

TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself.

TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war.

TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say.

TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family.

TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere.

TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there.

TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time.

TT: Yeah.

**JESSICA**

uuuuhhhhhh

**JESSICA**

anyway, Jake/AutoResponder...

Jake with orange Strider glasses on?

**KALYN**

notice how Bro is surrounded by white birds whereas Dave was associated with black birds?

**JESSICA**

lol, all i saw were birds, they were a little distracting XD but yeah, you're right

**JESSICA**

actually, i did notice they were gulls, or that's what they made me think of

anyway, reading this last update, i have learned that Dad is always the same

wow, that sentence made little sense with the part i omitted (because the part i omitted didn't make much sense either) so, here is the revised version of the previous statement "Silly, John/Jane's Dad! Pulling those old antics? You are a welcome consistency. Glad to know that despite everything that has happened and changed in the world, you have not "

**KALYN**

Bahahahahaha Hussiebot. I'm surprised at how quickly the acts are going, but it's probably in the same format as most of the story has been so it's all act 6 act 1 and act 6 act 2... yeah, that makes sense.

(unrelated amusing tangent ahead)

**KALYN**

It involved Super Junior fanfiction. Nuff said.

**JESSICA**

roflmao!

**KALYN**

XD

**JESSICA**

that's just...

XD

**KALYN**

It was really bad.

**JESSICA**

I believe it

**KALYN**

Like...it was painful reading it, but since I had already started it was like watching a trainwreck, you just couldn't stop.

**JESSICA**

hahahahahahahaha

well, I could have XD

**KALYN**

haha, I'm sure. If it was just me, I probably would have, but I had already sparked the interest of everyone else in the room (we read fanfiction together a lot) and they wanted to hear it, and since I started for them I had to finish it.

For...novelty I guess.

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

guh, christmas super junior fan fiction?

**KALYN**

Yep.

5 short kink fics.

The warnings for each one included "inappropriate use of objects"

**JESSICA**

That just seems to be like they want to stomp all over the innocene of christmas

maybe their christmases really sucked

**KALYN**

something like that.

**JESSICA**

like, maybe they found a dead puppy in a present box because mom and dad set it out too early...

**KALYN**

I didn't understand ANY of the comments on it. They were all along the lines of "I just came all over the floor to your beautiful literature skills."

**JESSICA**

i think i would want to stomp all over it too

probably piss on it some as well

**KALYN**

(paraphrased)

**JESSICA**

*disgusted dismay*

i really hope they were trolls...

and not the good kind

**KALYN**

...knowing some of the people who frequent sites like this (like, fucking cult site niches for creepy ass kink celebrity fanfiction weaboos with asian and kink fetishes who also rape imaginary people) they probably weren't.

**JESSICA**

Can't people have innocent fetishes? Like ... twinkies?

**KALYN**

Nothing is innocent with this person. Those twinkies would just be shoved up poor Eunhyuk's ass along with the rest of the things.

**JESSICA**

...

i don't think that would be very satisfying, would it? although given my question and that i defined twinkie as a fetish, i guess it would be...

**KALYN**

Probably expired twinkies.

**JESSICA**

i was thinking more frozen...

or baked

/dehydrated

**KALYN**

that works too, rofl

frozen's probably better, because it can start to melt and that offers some lubrication.'

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

These are the important questions we need to be asking ourselves.

**JESSICA**

i would think baked or dehydrated would just chafe...

XD

actually, i was about to change the subject XD

**KALYN**

best conversation ever. This is going up with the pointless homestuck conversations too.

**JESSICA**

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

anyway, i was seriously going to change the subject, to homestuck

(and those are two different clauses, so back off bitch!)

**KALYN**

...okay...0_0

**JESSICA**

anyway, do you remember when you thought that the elder god things were in cahoots with LE?

**KALYN**

perhaps? I'm sure I pondered the possibility?

**JESSICA**

you did, but then i was like "No! They 'fraid of LE because they are the squiggles and he's Captain Plumbthroat!"

**JESSICA**

anyway, i have a theory on why they did what they did

**KALYN**

right right

shoot! It's been a while since we've theorized.

**JESSICA**

LE was always going to come about, right? I KNOW!

it was no fault of any of the kids, right?

If that is the case, then and the elder abominations or whatever want to stop him

so they are making it so all the kids have as fighting a chance as they can

**KALYN**

all right I see that

**JESSICA**

that's my theory anyway, as beautifully elequated as it is

**KALYN**

Yeah, I think that was what was being perpetuated, more or less.

But my idea about them being in cahoots came from...the fact that they created the green sun instead of destroying it with that suicide mission, I think.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, that's true

OH GOD! OHGODOHGODOHGOD! I BLAME YOU FOR THIS!

REading homestuck

**KALYN**

...what?

**JESSICA**

and John was like "Witch powers make things huge?"

GAH! GUTTER!

Your fault! For the whole conversation we had before

*cough* all though sadly i wouldn't have been surprised if i thought of it anyway .

**KALYN**

I didn't even think that while reading it!

**JESSICA**

:'(

**KALYN**

Although, I wonder how far into the gutter you could've gone with that one.

What exactly were you thinking when you read it?

**JESSICA**

well, the possibilities are endless, apparently

**KALYN**

Just...making things huge?

**JESSICA**

it was fairly innocent, comparatively, but the problem was that my brain rebelled and decided that then was the one time it decided to actually picture it

**KALYN**

Are we making dicks huge?

**JESSICA**

yes

**KALYN**

Or are we making things huge and shoving them up Eunhyuk's ass?

**JESSICA**

but, what i said before

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

no, it was John and Jade though, which, i am all for banning incest

(that time the comma was unnecassary and deserves to be shot)

**KALYN**

...so you pictured witch powers making John's dick huge and then Jade jumping on it with an orifice?

**JESSICA**

hahahaha thank you for making this amusing

i am really enjoying these updates, John and Jade just saw Hussiebot

**KALYN**

yeah I saw it haha

I like Hussiebot

**JESSICA**

same, i wonder what AH is doing?

**KALYN**

Chillin in the other universe I guess

But he's god tier now, so he'll live

**JESSICA**

true

i didn't think he wouldn't live, i was just curious as to what he was doing

ok, i'm gonna take a shower and then call it a night

good night!

**KALYN**

nite!


	25. Welcoming two new conversationists

So I realized as I was copy/pasting this that when I was listing possible names for Dirk and Roxy, the very LAST names on each of those lists turned out to be the correct one! Spooky... Anyway, four-way conversations begin here, which means things are slightly crazier and get off track easier. Also, pillows for some reason. I tried to omit some of the more irrelevant tangents. Might not have anything well-explained here, and the links are shitty as ever, but I think the next installment will have some more in-depth analyses of some characters. Maybe.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

OH AWESOME

The kids are gonna be all the same age when they finally meet up!

now fanfiction can be three years less creepy!

**KALYN**

however the limit of the speed of light is now disproven as of recently.

they've been able to transport like...an electron or some sort of particle to the other side of the world (I think) faster than the speed of light, and it's been done twice now at least.

Hm. Jade says Scratch is "supposedly dead now" so...

the showdown between PM and Bec Noir is about to begin. annd since it's the last page right now, I'll take this opportunity to translate that morse code serenity's blinking out.

She says "You suck!"

**JESSICA**

.

there you go!

But maybe Jade only knew that they could go at the speed of light, not that the speed of light had been broken. The original article was run in September of this year .

Jade's, John's, Rose's and Dave's session began on April 13th 2010, so she couldn't have known that

Jade might be able to do anything, but that might be restricted to what she KNOWS she can do, you know? Although realistically speaking, if she just went faster than the speed of light, and didn't know it, her calculations would be off.

either way, she wouldn't have known that little tidbit of knowledge, so all she knows is that she can maybe go at the speed of light.

random note, check this out! You will never believe what this is a picture of! Or you will, but at least be surprised when you read what it is .?image=13

**KALYN**

I am surprised by that!

Oh shoat. We got some feelings here about to get jumbled. -sigh- Bec Noir...-_-"

**JESSICA**

i laughed so hard at that XD

**JESSICA**

ABSCOND! anyway, serenity is saying in this update: "Coward" "please" "help him"

**KALYN**

YO!

Haven't read it up to today yet...

Hey.

**JESSICA**

yeah, i just thought i would save you the trouble of looking it up yourself

**KALYN**

Hey.

You.

Kay

**JESSICA**

me?

**KALYN**

Anyway.

Fill in this blank. (20 questions?) The second Sherlock Holmes movie is even more _ than the first one.

**JESSICA**

awesome?

**KALYN**

ha. That's what Emily said. More specific!

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

ok, well what are the parameters? only "20 questions?" and "more specific"?

hmmmm

transexual?

**KALYN**

YOU'RE ALSO ON THE RIGHT TRACK

(Emily just said "hotter")

lol

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

transexual is the right track?

**KALYN**

...sort of.

Definitely in that scene that you're thinking of. O_O

**JESSICA**

? Epic? Awkward? Fashionable?

(epic because they climb on the outside of the train)

**KALYN**

combine them.

think my brain.

**JESSICA**

o.0

**KALYN**

(and don't ask Emily)

**JESSICA**

aw, darn

i'm at a loss

epic, awkward and fashionable? all together?

**KALYN**

um...haha, sort of.

not really though.

**JESSICA**

along with transexual?

**KALYN**

closer.

**JESSICA**

(or trainsexual )

**KALYN**

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**JESSICA**

OH! Random sidenote, i was watching another commercial for that today, and there was so much phallic imagery being BLOWN UP or cut in half1

*!

**KALYN**

hmmmm yessss phallic imagery, closer...

**JESSICA**

so, gay?

i dunno!

**KALYN**

lol

**KALYN**

close enough

homoerotic

**JESSICA**

ah

**KALYN**

especially in that train scene.

Watson definitely...well...do you want me to spoil that one part?

**JESSICA**

haha, i haven't ...

it hasn't come out, has it?

**KALYN**

(it's not out yet)

**JESSICA**

(of the closet?)

**KALYN**

Sure, we

we'll go with that.

**JESSICA**

hahaha, sorry

**KALYN**

lol

Okay, I shall spoil that one part if you don't mind too much

**JESSICA**

i dun' like spoilers...

**KALYN**

Well okay

(it's not a plot point though)

still no

**JESSICA**

oh? no what? and fine, tell me

**KALYN**

ah, okay. yes then.

um.

well

in that scene...

when Holmes dresses in drag...

Watson furiously rips off his clothes.

Holmes'*

And then they are caught in a *cough* compromising position in the train car...

**JESSICA**

ahahahahaha

**KALYN**

Oh. Great line from Holmes. Same scene. "Watson. Lie down with me." (this is after he's been declothed by the way.)

**JESSICA**

hahahahahahahahahaha

ok, seriously, i keep trying to post this picture and it refuses to show me if it is posted or not

Facebook. Hates. Me.

**KALYN**

Eh. It just stopped me from liking a comment. twice.

**JESSICA**

it's like it goes back in time or something

it helps to restart your computer, which is what i'm about to do, i really hope i don't have a virus

my computer is such a whore, going around the internet without any protection x.x

**KALYN**

hahahahahahaha

**JESSICA**

anyway, i'm back...

**JESSICA**

OH MY GOD BUCKET!

I am so happy right now XD

**KALYN**

I KNOW!

I LOVE THIS UPDATE! :DDDDD

Wonder what Davesprite did to it? ROFL

(ps I'm in love with the song It's You by Super Junior. It's one of those that I can feel!)

**KALYN**

Oh God. I love the God Tier names. Hotpotato Butterfingers, lawl. Since Dave's next Tier is Pimpslayer, I'm guessing he's gonna be the one to kill English? Possible...

English also sounds like the trolls' death description.

Dave's gonna kill DEATH!

Fawesome.

(I think he's still updating right now though, since there's only one from today so far...)

**KALYN**

Rose is now Ariadne's Threadspinner, which sounds like she's gonna be working with Vriska...next for her is Surya's Lurid Glare. No idea what that is, too lazy to research.

Surya is something Hindu, apparently the chief deity and also the sun in general, so I'm guessing that has to do with the Green Sun. As for Ricky Schrödinger, well...Rick Schroeder is an actor/director, and we all know Schrödinger because he had a famous cat, so IDK. Dave does have something to do with films though. Feh.

**KALYN**

ROSE: It's just that with the clarity afforded by my new abilities, it occurred to me just now that dead horse was likely the beautiful pet pony my mother gave me recently.

ROSE: It was crushed to death by your newborn ass.

ROSE: You bastard.

DAVE: well shit

DAVE: thats a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didnt even really need solving

DAVE: but damn if it didnt just get solved so nice work

ROSE: Thanks.

...this is how I feel during all of our discussions.

**KALYN**

CD killed Jake with peanuts? Remember when I was all "John's allergic to peanuts, wonder if this'll come up later" and now it has!

**JESSICA**

what was that up there? about that being how you feel? I'm slightly confused Who are you supposed to be in that scenario? Both of them? Dave? Rose?

Anyway, I could have sworn I replied somewhere there and what happened to doing this with emily?

ANYWAY! Yes, allergy thing, I rather enjoy GCat though and the ball drop was funny

…

**JESSICA**

I hope you feel good about yourself now! Stealing all that music! (fakeandrewhussietumblrpost).com/

**KALYN**

I'm...not completely sure that's real. Since Homestuck is totally ongoing still.

Sounded like complete sarcasm. Like he totally got wayyyy more than he expected or something (or $2 million was what he got, since I would never expect that much for profit in one holiday season) and so yeah

**JESSICA**

lol, sorry, it was a joke, that's not actually hussie's site. If you look, it's an RP thing. I thought it was highly suspicious that he sounded like that, because, like you said, it would have to be extreme sarcasm.

**KALYN**

oh that explains the whole "duplicate copy" thing

and I don't think he would be stupid enough to assume profits of 2 million

heh

**AND THIS IS THE END OF OUR SIMPLE TWO-WAY CONVERSATION, ON TO THE FOUR-WAY! (Much of this overlaps the conversation I was having with Jessica. This one starts at the flash update in October.)**

**JESSICA**

HOMESTUCK TOMORROW :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

**EMILY**

I kinda started reading it again! Only like 5 pages though...

**JESSICA**

lol *cough* you might have a bit of catching up to do .

**KALYN**

I am excited as well! I have been counting down. Am I a loser? Yes.

**EMILY**

I KNOW!

I JUST HAVEN'T WANTED TO READ ALL THAT!

BUT I'M DOING BETTER NOW!

**KALYN**

It's okay. The update is a flash.

I just began bonding with yet another person on facebook over K-Pop.

What's hilarious is the comment thread is on a status about Celtic Thunder.

**JESSICA**

Ahahahaha, oh Celtic thunder

**KALYN**

Can you see Ally's status? Are you friends with her? Because this chick and I are just spamming her status with K-Pop paragraph comments. XD

**EMILY**

which one are you talking about?

**KALYN**

Which what? Status?

Ireland music status.

The one full of K-Pop paragraph comments.

**EMILY**

i couldn't find it...

**KALYN**

You on her wall? Ally?

**EMILY**

no i was looking on her profile page and i couldnt' find it

**KALYN**

Well...wall. It's on her wall, I'm there right now.

**EMILY**

huh...

**KALYN**

"Oh Ireland, the musiblah blah blah..."

**EMILY**

k

looking again now

**KALYN**

you shouldn't have to click on "older posts"

**EMILY**

oooo

k

found it

did you pay attention to the one kid that was typing like tavros?

**KALYN**

...what? where?

**EMILY**

higher up

awhile ago he had a homestuck profile picture

don't remember of who though

**KALYN**

I see it. That's. Awesome.

**EMILY**

hahaha

bam

i think she will love what i posted

**KALYN**

Gonna be away from FB for a bit.

XD

You're hilarious

**EMILY**

aww yeah

think i'm gonna meddle on other people's statuses...

isn't like not really typed like tavros though?

cause doesn't he lower case after commas and periods?

**KALYN**

yes.

And I don't think he even uses periods, just commas.

But yeah I noticed that too

**EMILY**

ah k

do you like what i've been putting on her status?

**KALYN**

I appreciate the "geeked out" comment

**EMILY**

man, it's hard trolling

oh?

**KALYN**

Yeah, I just felt so much more awesome than I actually am after reading that.

I was quite flattered.

**EMILY**

oh...yay!

well i decided earlier today (on a totally random thought) that if i ever found glasses like cool bros i would buy 4 pairs one for each of us

**KALYN**

That. Would. Be. So. Fucking. Awesome.

**EMILY**

hells ya

hey

hey

**KALYN**

?

**EMILY**

MERRY CHRISTMAS KISS MY ASS!

**KALYN**

XD

**EMILY**

i'm listening to it now...

**JESSICA**

I am incredibly confused. Where did my Homestuck freak out go? I thought I sent it through this, but I can't find it anywhere And I know I was talking to you three...

**EMILY**

h'yes...GOD DAMNIT WHEN I HIT ENTER I FUCKING MEAN REPLY ALL!

**JESSICA**

I found it, but it was so weird because before your little conversation about sunglasses (which is totally kickass) it went back to October 17... Oh well, I see it now. Also, saw the coolest ad on mspaintadventures. I'll make it a picture for you guys to see. LONG AND UNNECESSARILY SO!

**EMILY**

pimpin

btdubs, if you haven't seen the new after hours WATCH IT NOW

cracked (if i may say so myself) had an exceptionally hilarious day today/yesterday

**JESSICA**

K, I'll watch it tomorrow (and by tomorrow I mean later today...)

**EMILY**

yea

**EMILY**

i've gotten obnoxiously farther in homestuck today! and i'm still gonna read it more...i think i've now heard from all the trolls, but not met them...

**EMILY**

and now i think i've met all of them...

**EMILY**

DDDDDUUUUUUUDDDDDEEEE!

**EMILY**

.com/imgres?q=faygo&num=10&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1024&bih=677&tbm=isch&tbnid=NdItRC5MnWuqsM%3A&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%.com%&docid=cV74UdmSNqBnPM&imgurl=http%3A%2F%.com%&w=400&h=300&ei=B62tTsT1CoKlsQLFiJ3rDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=98&vpy=344&dur=2867&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=160&ty=61&sig=117194670877273254175&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=136&tbnw=175&start=0&ndsp=14&ved=1t%3A429%2Cr%3A5%2Cs%3A0

**KALYN**

Yep, ICP and the Juggalos and Juggalettes fucking love their faygo. That's where the reference came from.

**EMILY**

ah…

**EMILY**

fucking watch this now .com/watch?v=Y_efTiBal4w&feature=related&fb_source=message

**KALYN**

OMG watching a show with Super Junior and remember the guy we said reminded us of Garin because he's really quiet but hilarious? Well they just asked him what sports he did, and he said math. "International Math Olympics." He's totally Garin's K-Pop counterpart!

**EMILY**

hahaha

DID YOU FUCKING WATCH THE VIDEO?

btdubs...

is it just me or does shinee's videos look...whiter?

**JESSICA**

what do you mean? they look white? as in less asian? or ... like... they're brighter, i guess...

btw, people are creeps, like, creepier than me. Like shipping brothers creepy O.O

**EMILY**

brighter!

**MORGAN**

Jessica, worüber sprichts du? About the shipping brothers creepy. did you come across some weird fan fiction or something?

**JESSICA**

Yes, Dave and Bro

**EMILY**

sexy?

**JESSICA**

NO! NO SEXY!

**EMILY**

HAS ANYBODY WATCHED THE VIDEO I POSTED?

**JESSICA**

The one with Kanaya? Yes

**EMILY**

or linked to

yes

**KALYN**

that's weird. But you know, there's lots of incestual paradoxing in homestuck anyway, I do't know how much of a stretch that one really is.

**EMILY**

hot damn equius rappin like there's no tomorrow!

ya know, part of me kinda wishes that gamzee and dave liked each other, cause they would be cool friends...

**KALYN**

They did proceed to have the best rap-off of all time...

**JESSICA**

So true, I could only wish we were privvy to the epicosity of said rap-off.

**EMILY**

ah...

**JESSICA**

Morgan, Kalyn, does your friend have Forever Lazy? .com/user/jacksfilms?blend=1&ob=4

**KALYN**

Yes. She totally does. That's definitely it.

**EMILY**

teehee

**JESSICA**

So, is she never getting laid?

**KALYN**

LAWL

**EMILY**

ROFLMAO!

**EMILY**

So, random question...If you heard about a sex toy called "The Thrill Hammer" what would you think it does?

**KALYN**

ummm... Vibrates back and forth? like a hammer motion? IDK

Or is it not electric?

**EMILY**

I don't really know, it was on a cracked article today and they didn't really say

**KALYN**

just finished reading it

**EMILY**

and what do you think?

**KALYN**

I think the pearls were kinda classy

**EMILY**

the butt plug was fucking creepy

-er than usual

**KALYN**

which one?

**EMILY**

the horse one

**KALYN**

I thought it was hilarious

**EMILY**

well, yes

but creepy none the less

**JESSICA**

Equius would buy it in a heart beat

**EMILY**

HAHAHAHAHAHA

**EMILY**

so, it appears that vriska, tavros, sollux, and feferi are dead, sollux is knocked out, and gamzee has started talking in his crazy voice...

holy shit, i did not expect this level of intensity craziness from gamzee...

**EMILY**

oh yeah and aradia blew up

**EMILY**

well, vriska is confusing me...

**JESSICA**

CRAZY GAMZEE! lol

How is Vriska confusing you precisely?

**EMILY**

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THOUGH!

**JESSICA**

Lol

**EMILY**

HE KILLED EQUIUS AND well, i already know he kills nepeta

is she like actually dead? do you have to be dead to reach the god tier

**EMILY**

i really have to go to sleep but it's trapped me with this crazy gamzee shit

**EMILY**

hot damn kanaya!

**EMILY**

gah, just when i think i'm annoyed to the gills (ha) with one person's typing quirk, there comes another one that pisses me off even more!

**KALYN**

lol whose? (I fucking love hero-mode Gamzee!)

**EMILY**

Stupid white text guy...

**JESSICA**

lol, another reason why Equius creeps me the hell out: he was smiling when he died... what is that, autoerotic asphixiation, or something. Bleh

**EMILY**

OMG THAT WAS I WAS THINKING WHEN YOU SAID.

**MORGAN**

... that wasn't a coherent sentence...

**EMILY**

I just realized that...

**JESSICA**

lol

at least you were excited when you said that and have an excuse, but when it's in something at least semi-formal, then i'm like "What? Shoo' beetch, you crazay!" I also am a black person from the ghetto whenever that happens. Se la vi (or however it's spelt, stupid french)

**KALYN**

hehe. spelt.

**JESSICA**

i am not wholy american, have you not noticed this before?

**KALYN**

no I know lol

**EMILY**

hahahaha

**EMILY**

ya guys ever notice 413=the letters terezi uses to speak leet?

**JESSICA**

FUCK YOU EMILY!

lol

no never, or at least i didn't and i don't think we mentioned it

**EMILY**

what?

**JESSICA**

so... 413=Aie

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

lol

**EMILY**

do you have any profound thoughts on that?

or just COINCIDENCE?

holy shit

that was the first try

**JESSICA**

there are no coincidences!

**EMILY**

oh?

**JESSICA**

well, there aren't...usually

we'll just have to see if 413 shows up again, it hasn't for a while, has it?

**EMILY**

uuuuh

i kinda sorta wasn't paying super attention to it...

**JESSICA**

yeah, i don't remember it, other than the countdown for Bec Noir, but other than that...

not much

**EMILY**

yeah

.com/watch?v=gebtt9xtX34&feature=related

**KALYN**

isn't 413 like...the numbers of ...something? something significant in troll history? like the ancestors or the prophets or something? I think it might have been something like the prophets.

**EMILY**

sorry guys, this is gonna be really sappy, but i've now read 23 pages of gives me hope so i gotta say it...

I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS AND WOULD BE HEARTBROKEN IF I LOST ANY OF YOU GUYS AS FRIENDS!

i know sometimes i can be really annoying and shit, but thanks for sticking it out with me!

**MORGAN**

aw! and of course we will always stick with you, cause we know you're a decent friend!

**EMILY**

YAY!

**EMILY**

today (or yesterday) i had like a huge revelation about homestuck and was excited as to what you guys would say

but now i can't remember it...

**EMILY**

so nanna=killed in meteor explosion thingy jane=explosion?

**KALYN**

haha, not sure about that one... I don't know why she exploded.

**EMILY**

Assassination attempt?

**JESSICA**

um... not so sure about that one either, possible though. one of LE's people? that is, if BC and LE are no longer on the same side.

**EMILY**

uhhh, what does bc and le supposed to stand for?

**JESSICA**

betty crocker and Lord English

**EMILY**

ooooooooooooooooohhh

**JESSICA**

eeeeyup

**EMILY**

So, jessica and i are gonna make homestuck pillows including the trolls, the original kids and the new kids. we shall split them up who gets which troll/kid. we each get 5 send a list of your top 6 that you want and i'll try to get you your selection. (some people automatically get their choice cause they are obviously gonna get them kalyn=dave!)

**EMILY**

btdubs-send them IN ORDER!

order that you want them that is

**KALYN**

hmmmmmm Morgan is sleeping now I think, but yeah totally I'll tell her.

**EMILY**

if there are ones that are unpicked, well they gonna go randomly

**JESSICA**

btw, kalyn, we all ready decided you get bro

*dave

**KALYN**

Dave, Jake, Bro...OH!

**JESSICA**

sorry

**KALYN**

awesome

oh, okay

welp

Dave, Jake, Bro, John, Karkat

**JESSICA**

:(

**KALYN**

Hey, you don't have to do that, I think we should split them up through discussion

and fairness

**JESSICA**

ok, my order is John, Karkat, Vriska, Bro, and Fef?

lol

**KALYN**

Like...in a reasonable order...

I know Sollux will be on Morgan's...

**EMILY**

order in which you want hthem

**JESSICA**

that's why emily said we should put them in order of what we want

dern, you beat me

i might have Eridan on my list instead of Fef

**EMILY**

maybe

i did say 6 though

**KALYN**

Aight, well... I LIKE JAKE just sayin'

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

oh 6?

**EMILY**

just in case someone else wants one more than you do

**JESSICA**

I LIKE BRO!

**EMILY**

cause i want gamzee, but he's 3 on my list, he might be 2 on someone elses, they'd get him

**KALYN**

ummmmmmm okay well I see I guess

**EMILY**

got julia's...what's kalyns?

**JESSICA**

we can always discuss this as adults too (EMILY AND I GET FINAL DECISION BECAUSE WE'RE MAKING THEM! :D)

**EMILY**

I DON'T CARE WHAT YA'LL SAY I'M GETTING TEREZI!

**JESSICA**

yeah, clearly she'd be at the top of your list

**KALYN**

um. yeah, I wanted to discuss it like adults and you can have terezi...I guess stick Sollux on the end of my list...

**EMILY**

how are we not discussing this like adults?

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

so, is sollux a given for Morgan?

**EMILY**

wait kalyn, what's your full list?

**KALYN**

Dave, Jake, Bro, John, Karkat, Sollux

(Sollux is most likely a given for Morgan)

**EMILY**

3 of those are taken

pick 2 others

**KALYN**

eh?

which three?

John Karkat and Sollux?

**EMILY**

jake bro sollux

**KALYN**

Well idk what others Morgan will want

**EMILY**

no

**JESSICA**

john and karkat are my top 2...

**EMILY**

yes

**KALYN**

Jake and Bro? Really?

**EMILY**

that's what i mean

no

**KALYN**

Wait...what?

John and Karkat are taken, yes?

**JESSICA**

? are you saying that she gets Jake, Bro and Sollux?

**EMILY**

I MEANT THAT DAVE, JAKE, BRO ARE THE 3 YOU HAVE THAT AREN'T TAKEN

**KALYN**

And Morgan hasn't chosen any yet

**JESSICA**

yeah

**EMILY**

kalyn=yes

**KALYN**

Should I go wake her up?

**JESSICA**

lol, nah, let her sleep!

**EMILY**

up to you

**JESSICA**

this isn't going to be done overnight

**EMILY**

as long as i get these answers at some point

**JESSICA**

we still need to buy the materials

**KALYN**

well we can't really do this thoroughly without her here, otherwise she's just getting the leftovers

**JESSICA**

we'll just work around what she says

no she won't

**EMILY**

she's not gonna get the leftovers

kalyn=we literally just thought of this idea

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

I have my top three, we pretty much have our tops...am I taking it too seriously?

**JESSICA**

Oh! I trade Bro on my list for Lalonde!

**KALYN**

YAY

**EMILY**

ha

i didn't know whether to put her on my list or not

**KALYN**

The Striders and Jake are my top...

**JESSICA**

if Morgan's top three counters with any of ours, we'll just work around it

**EMILY**

yeah

**KALYN**

aight

hey hey hey

you guys caught up yet

**EMILY**

i just have 3 that i want, then 3 that i'm like...meh idc

**KALYN**

?

**JESSICA**

YES! i am at least

**EMILY**

not yet

...

should start working ont hat now

**KALYN**

LAWL at Karkat's reactions

**EMILY**

gonna change my pants first

**KALYN**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

seconded

(the hahaha part)

**KALYN**

ha

gonna read some fanfiction now

**JESSICA**

your homoerotic creepy celebrity fanfiction?

**KALYN**

naw

homestuck

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

(usually yes though .)

**JESSICA**

speaking of Homestuck fanfiction, we still doing the "homestuck therapy"?

**EMILY**

HOMESTUCK AWAY!

**KALYN**

yes, I haven't updated in a while though

**EMILY**

can i help with that? ^

**KALYN**

I could, I'm just lazy and have to copy/paste some conversations and shit

**EMILY**

:]

: ]

:]

: ]

:]

**JESSICA**

so just transfer it here?

**EMILY**

: ]

**KALYN**

sure, starting...now, I guess

or something

gonna have to make a bigger filter though

**JESSICA**

oh?

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

with more people, you can get more off topic

and also more...

**JESSICA**

true

**KALYN**

um

uh

...

**JESSICA**

...

**EMILY**

:'(

**KALYN**

words.

words.

**JESSICA**

oh

**KALYN**

what are they.

**EMILY**

:'(

**KALYN**

what am I saying.

**JESSICA**

usually helpful in communication

**KALYN**

yes.

**JESSICA**

words, that is

**EMILY**

:'(

**KALYN**

I was gonna say something along the lines of ... Emily's capacity for spamming with faces...

like right now.

**JESSICA**

oh, hahaha

**EMILY**

I'LL STOP!

I'LL BE A GOOD GIRL!

**JESSICA**

at least when we're talking about homestuck

**EMILY**

I'LL BE GOOD I SWEAR!

yes

**JESSICA**

hahaha

**EMILY**

i really need to stop doing so many smileys

kinda forgot that it annoys me

**KALYN**

kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

**EMILY**

XO

**JESSICA**

:O

**EMILY**

(terezi's face doesn't count?)

**JESSICA**

}:o)

**KALYN**

(anyway, the fanfiction I have barely begun to read is called one stormy night and is apparently a well-regarded homestuck fanfiction, if you're interested)

**EMILY**

yay

**JESSICA**

huh, tell us if it's any good and who it's by

**EMILY**

(do homestuck faces count?)

**KALYN**

google it, that's how I found it

**JESSICA**

oh, ok...

**KALYN**

interesting AU...

**JESSICA**

can't you just tell me if it's any good?

**EMILY**

^my question?

**KALYN**

I've barely started reading it!

**JESSICA**

(Emily: probably a no)

yeah, unless you want us to talk about it while reading it...

**EMILY**

no homestuck faces? even though it's homestuck related?

**KALYN**

(If Homestuck faces become overused as well, then yes...still faces)

**EMILY**

ooooook

**KALYN**

We don't have to talk about it, I'm just you know...gonna start reading it now

If it seems really good I'll tell you about it

**JESSICA**

ok, it's stormy night or something?

**KALYN**

so... I dunno, don't hold your breath I guess?

We'll see how it goes.

one stormy night

I think there's some John/Karkat (since I discovered it through a deviation...)

**JESSICA**

okey dokey, i guess i'll not be lazy and look it up...

i'm actually going to go now, so i'll talk to you guys later! love you two and sleep well

**KALYN**

Same here, love ya'll

Good night

**EMILY**

k

**EMILY**

OH MAH GOD MY GOD HILARIOUS!

**JESSICA**

?

You talking about Karkat's Breakdown? I just watched that, it's so funny! Don't miss the nic cage face at the end

**EMILY**

SHIT I MISSED IT!

**JESSICA**

it's pretty great ^^

and not a whole lot new to say about this next update except for what Serenity says: "You there, miss! Please save my friend!" Which took me twenty minutes, so I figured I would save you the effort.

**EMILY**

I PUT IT IN A MORSE CODE TRANSLATOR!

**JESSICA**

oh... lazy...

**EMILY**

last time i looked them up

i did have to type them all

**JESSICA**

yeah?

...

**EMILY**

h...

**JESSICA**

but you did (and that's as far as i got with that though)

*thought

**EMILY**

oh?

**JESSICA**

so, was that Kanaya speaking with an Eridan style?

"Jegus Cod Ms. Meddle Meddlestein!"

By the way, Kalyn, when you get on, have you talked with Morgan? And Morgan, if you come on before Kalyn and she has spoken with you, have you decided which plushies you want? And if she hasn't spoken with you, Emily and I decided the other day that we want to make "felties" of the kids, the new kids and the trolls. We figured we could each get 5, so who do you want?

**JESSICA**

5 since there are 20 total

Morgan!

**MORGAN**

ah!

**JESSICA**

hi!

can you see my comment before I said "hi!"?

or, no

**MORGAN**

hi!:

yeah

**JESSICA**

sorry, that made no sense

**MORGAN**

pillows or some shit

rigth?

**JESSICA**

yes

**MORGAN**

okay... sollux, karkat, terezi, john, vriska

can i just keep listing?

**JESSICA**

ok, now we just have to get everyone together and go over options .

yeah, how about a sixth

**MORGAN**

okay

we should set aside a day

**JESSICA**

to decide, or make them?

**MORGAN**

sixth... to decide...

ignore sixth

**JESSICA**

ok

**MORGAN**

oh... wait...

**EMILY**

I dunno

yeah kinda

**MORGAN**

rose... or eridan... cause of his pants

or gamzee

**JESSICA**

hahaha, yeah

**MORGAN**

hm...

**EMILY**

MOGAN!

**MORGAN**

or mom... maybe

EMIWEE!

**EMILY**

have you picked out your top 6 for pillows?

**MORGAN**

yeah =_=

^- (point point)

up there

**EMILY**

oh…

**MORGAN**

oh, aradia

would also be cool

i'm pretty much cool with whatevs, but i get sollux

if you have supplies, i be awesome at pattern making and whatnot

would these be full body characters in sprite form then?

**EMILY**

everybody is clearly getting their first pick

**MORGAN**

yeah!

**EMILY**

kalyn is getting the 3 she chose since nobody want else has chosen any of those

**MORGAN**

and we can barter with the others

**EMILY**

jessica and morgan-FIGHT OVER KARKAT

**MORGAN**

... i guess we'll compromise with our lists

**EMILY**

you both have karkat as your seconds

**MORGAN**

hm... we'll talk it out

**JESSICA**

I want Karkat He's been one of my favorites the entire time

*sniff* btw, I was totally going through again and getting the lists so Morgan could see

**EMILY**

so how about this...vriska is also next on both of yours

so one of you can get karkat and the other can have vriska

**JESSICA**

anyway, here they are: Kalyn: Dave, Jake, Bro, John, Karkat

Me: John, Karkat, Vriska, Lalonde, Eridan

**JESSICA**

yet again, one of my favorites from the beginning .

**MORGAN**

eridan?

yours

**JESSICA**

Morgan definitely gets Eridan though *sigh*

oh, dang!

**MORGAN**

why?

**JESSICA**

because he's the last on my list...

**MORGAN**

i'll take vriska

he's after last on mine

you can have karkat

**JESSICA**

i would deck you to get Karkat

**EMILY**

is that coo with julia?

**MORGAN**

or you can have both, and i'll pick different ones

**JESSICA**

to be honest I prefer that last option

**MORGAN**

sure

i'll take whoever

**EMILY**

should i list who hasn't been chosen at all?

**JESSICA**

:D

**MORGAN**

yeah

**JESSICA**

Equius, Nepeta

**EMILY**

nepeta

rose

kanaya

**MORGAN**

i'll take rose fo sho

**MORGAN**

and kanaya

lulz equius and nepeta

what about gamzee and tavros?

**JESSICA**

hahahaha, you know what, I think they should stay together ^^

(nepeta and eq)

**MORGAN**

gamz and tav?

yes fo sho

**EMILY**

current lists-

jessica-john karkat lalonde feferi eridan

morgan-sollux vriska aradia rose kanaya

kalyn-dave jake bro

**MORGAN**

no, jessica gets vriska we agreed

**EMILY**

emily-terezi jade gamzee jane

k

**JESSICA**

yeah, Fef hasn't been on my list for a while...

**EMILY**

oh…

**JESSICA**

:P

**EMILY**

so all of us but kalyn have 4 but i can do without jane

**JESSICA**

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

**EMILY**

HOLY SHIT

MERRY CHRISTMAS

**JESSICA**

Well, no one's mentioned Jane yet

**MORGAN**

yeah merry christmas

**EMILY**

morgan-may i pretty please have gamzee

**MORGAN**

and i'm indifferent to jane

yes you may

but i feel tavros should go with him

**EMILY**

*squee*

yeah

so, with jane i have 5

**MORGAN**

hokay

i'll take equius and nepeta

**EMILY**

k

**MORGAN**

drop vriska from my list, that gives me six

**JESSICA**

yeah, personally i don't mind having four

or how many that leaves me with...

**EMILY**

with vriska dropped you have 6

**MORGAN**

so you can drop aradia from my list as well

**EMILY**

kalyn still has 3

**JESSICA**

yeah

ok, emily, who's on your list?

**MORGAN**

give kalyn whoever else...

**EMILY**

terezi jade gamzee tavros currently jade

**MORGAN**

jane?

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

oh, ok, i thought you had more

**EMILY**

nope

**JESSICA**

i thought you both had 6 (like i said, i don't personally mind)

**EMILY**

so...

now who haven't we mentioned...

**MORGAN**

when's this going down yo?

**JESSICA**

Ok, is my list now officially john, Karkat, Vriska, Lalonde and who?

dunno when, soonish though

**MORGAN**

when are we making these bitches yo?

**EMILY**

eridan

**JESSICA**

so i've got my 5?

**MORGAN**

yup

**EMILY**

yeah

**MORGAN**

i'm set too

give kalyn whoever's left.

**MORGAN**

bam done

**JESSICA**

so really that leaves Kalyn with Jane and Aradia?

**MORGAN**

i thought it was fef

emily has jane, yeah?

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

oh, well then Fef

**EMILY**

morgan has 6 on her list

**MORGAN**

cool. lists solidified

**JESSICA**

MOrgan!

**MORGAN**

no, i dropped aradia, moved to kalyn now

DONT MISUNDERSTAND!

**JESSICA**

lol

**MORGAN**

i addressed this way back

**EMILY**

k coo

**JESSICA**

it's true

**EMILY**

riiiiiiiiiight

only one of us is getting our patron troll...

**MORGAN**

kalyn's wondering if we can just make them, and then divi them up then, instead of the virtual list...

but since we already made that list, her comment is mute

moot

shut up

**EMILY**

WE PUT TOO MUCH WORK INTO THIS!

**JESSICA**

lol, well it's both1

*1

**EMILY**

ha

**JESSICA**

fuck you 1 !

**MORGAN**

?

**EMILY**

ha

**JESSICA**

shift was not working

**MORGAN**

ah

sometimes my f gets like that

**JESSICA**

yeah, my enter does as well

**MORGAN**

and the space, and m and d, ...

anyway we need a date

to the ball

and supplies

to make our weird voodoo pillows

**EMILY**

voodoo?

**MORGAN**

nm it's late, i go with random comments

focusing on the thing

**JESSICA**

preferrably after new years, i'm going to be researching like a boss next week and then writing a paper and speech

**EMILY**

HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED IT SAYS THEIR NAMES NOW

**JESSICA**

?

**EMILY**

the dialoglogs

instead of their shortened handles it's now their names

**JESSICA**

oh, yeah, because they're actually speaking rather than typing (much more efficient)

**EMILY**

yeah...

never noticed that until today

**JESSICA**

yup

ok, i'm gonna leave you now

good night!

**EMILY**

nacht

morgan didn't say night

**JESSICA**

i know, how rude!

**KALYN**

Actually our internet wasn't working...

**EMILY**

oh...now i feel like a bitch...

**MORGAN**

yeah, pretty sure I sent messages, but apparently facebook lied to me

**EMILY**

oh...our pillows will be totally awesome now...

**MORGAN**

why?

**EMILY**

i got a sewing machine for christmas!

**MORGAN**

: O

why can't you just keep to this thread?

nm

**EMILY**

well ok then!

but yes

**MORGAN**

pillows yo

awesome

**EMILY**

that's what i got from my grandma

**MORGAN**

sweet

**EMILY**

hells ya

**MORGAN**

kalyn's afraid of sewing machines, but whatever

she can cut out pieces

**EMILY**

i'll have to take classes on how to use it...

hahaha

…..

**KALYN**

.com/?q=dave+strider&order=9&offset=48#/d4i7val **(it was a beautiful merging of homestuck and kpop, my two loves)**

THIS IS RELEVANT

**EMILY**

hahaha

surprisingly so

**MORGAN**

loading... _

**EMILY**

sooooo

**JESSICA**

ahahaha, that's great kalyn, very relevant

**JESSICA**

so are we going to be able to hang out this weekend? Maybe not to work on the pillows, but just to see each others' beautiful faces?

**MORGAN**

why not to work on the pillows?

we already have so much fabric, this needs to happen!

and thread, and a sewing machine!

I WANNA MAKE PILLOWS!

**EMILY**

kinda shocked that this actually has rebecca black in it .com/watch?v=I6nTjsDvNUg&feature=related&fb_source=message

**JESSICA**

Morgan: I was not aware that we (you?) had the fabric to make this happen all ready, i'm all for it! Do we have stuffing too? Or shall we have a little shopping trip too, to make sure we have everything

**EMILY**

i would like to have knowledge of my own sewing machine before we do this...

so we could just hand sew

**EMILY**

there's a terezi comment on an oomph music video

**KALYN**

noice

trolls are fucking everywhere

**EMILY**

fuck ya!

**MORGAN**

Emily: holy shit woah... woah.

to the friday thing

and we still need to do a little shopping, cause we don't have all the colors, but we have lots of white and lots of black, and a few color swatches that are very useful. and still need stuffing

**EMILY**

here's the link to the picture of the beta kids/trolls, so here it is and i have one less tab on my computer!

**KALYN**

k

**(and then we tried to sew pillows…)**

**EMILY**

before we have another sewing time, we need a pin cushion

**MORGAN**

ok... I don't think I have one, but you could use like... a small pillow of stuffed animal or something

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I was going to suggest a stuffed animal. I'll actually see if we have one here. Did a needle get loose?

**EMILY**

there were needles ALL OVER!

**JESSICA**

Oops... We should also have a magnet, that will help if any fall on the floor.

Btw, I got a seam ripper

…

**EMILY**

AND-if homestuck goes a while before updating i'm gonna be pissed cause i wanna know what happened with lalonde NOW!

**JESSICA**

lol, emily, you should check out the news, he has a calendar and when he plans on having pages up, it's in a link

**EMILY**

ooooooooh

…

**JESSICA**

this is adorable, and seems to fit .com/?q=homestuck&order=9&offset=24#/d3ja9bs

**EMILY**

hehehe

**EMILY**

Or Jessica what we could do is leave the homestuck pillows alone and focus on our felties! Then we can save homestuck for when we are all together!

**EMILY**

.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=gacSDOKQ4X0&fb_source=message

**MORGAN**

yes

**JESSICA**

Emily, we could do that too. By the way, you guys want to go to lunch tomorrow or something? I would like to hang out at least a little more before ya leave.

**KALYN**

mmm... gotta figure out what time we're having coffee with samwise first

**JESSICA**

"Me and English are watching from under the bleachers, high-fiving constantly" I don't think that's what they're doing XD

**KALYN**

Yay! I agree. =^-.-^=

**JESSICA**

any word from the Wise One?

**EMILY**

me?

**KALYN**

nope, leaving a message

**EMILY**

sad

**KALYN**

When/where would you like?

coffee, or do you want food to go with it?

**JESSICA**

i would like food to go with it

**KALYN**

does Panera have good coffee?

Panera's pretty cheap

**JESSICA**

(btw, emily, we would be the biggest bitches in the world if we weren't including you)

yeah, and i enjoy panera

**EMILY**

i know!

**JESSICA**

if there's anywhere else, that's fine too, i won't be spending too much money in the near future anyway

just nothing too crazy XD

but is everyone cool with panera?

**KALYN**

I can't think of another place with food and coffee (good coffee) that isn't out of the way

What time?

**JESSICA**

yeah, which panera?

**KALYN**

72nd?

**EMILY**

/day!

**JESSICA**

anytime now, far as i'm concerned

**KALYN**

today

um...what time do they close?

**JESSICA**

i dunno

want to go for dinner instead?

**EMILY**

i'm going to uno's hockey game tonight

**KALYN**

no!

**JESSICA**

then definitely not dinner

**KALYN**

this is the perfect thing for my issue with Samwise!

**JESSICA**

?

**KALYN**

Be like-yo, meet us there!

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

But I don't have to worry if he doesn't show

**JESSICA**

true

ok

**KALYN**

so...3 or 4?

**JESSICA**

oh, damn, lol

i was going to suggest 1 XD

3or 4 is good, emily, when's the game?

**EMILY**

hey...

**KALYN**

I'm wayyyy too tired for that, and Morgan's cooking bacon

**EMILY**

7:07

1 not good

takes about 30 minutes for me to drive to that area anyway

**JESSICA**

do we want to meet at panera at about 3:30?

true

**EMILY**

no wait

...

**KALYN**

sounds good to me

**JESSICA**

emily?

**EMILY**

how's 3:35?

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

NO!

**EMILY**

:]

**JESSICA**

that is way too late!

**EMILY**

too early?

err

**KALYN**

um

**EMILY**

late i mean...

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

**JESSICA**

either be there at 3:30 (or before) or we won't acknowleddge you

**EMILY**

WAIT

**JESSICA**

no!

what?

**EMILY**

should i pick up jessica, then we'd pick up morgan and kalyn?

**JESSICA**

you wanna do that? instead of meeting there?

aw, then we can't not acknowledge you if you're late

**EMILY**

yay!

**KALYN**

I like that idea, then my mama doesn't have to worry bout this shit

**EMILY**

k

**JESSICA**

yup

**EMILY**

yay! planning!

**JESSICA**

woo!

so, aim for about 3:30?

**EMILY**

and jessica can pick up my camera and i'll bring her the zombie felties book

too early

**JESSICA**

ooo! true!

**EMILY**

3:35 would work better

**KALYN**

haha

**JESSICA**

|-(

**EMILY**

:]

AH

**KALYN**

gaiz we so need Google+...

**EMILY**

WHAT KIND OF HIDEOUS FACE IS THAT?

gross

**KALYN**

It's a unibrowed cyclops.

Obv.

**JESSICA**

"googel+"?

clearly

**EMILY**

gross

**KALYN**

yes, it's like facebook but with video chat for multiples.

**JESSICA**

ah, ok

**KALYN**

Kelsey's on it with her friends all the time.

**EMILY**

...

**JESSICA**

we...

**KALYN**

And they're all separated

**JESSICA**

we have skype .

bwhat?

**KALYN**

yes, but we have to pay for more than two lines on video chat

**JESSICA**

oh...right

**KALYN**

You can have a bunch of people video chatting on Google+

I know it feels like selling out, but it's...pretty sweet you gotta admit

**EMILY**

gross

**JESSICA**

i never feel like a sell-out .

**EMILY**

gross

**JESSICA**

although i shall continue to use skype...

**KALYN**

Myspace upgrades to Facebook, Facebook upgrades to Google+...only we still keep Facebook.

yeah I know

**JESSICA**

yup

**EMILY**

i think there's something in my sock...

**EMILY**

it kinda hurts

**KALYN**

welp. 20 more minutes of sleep for me...

**JESSICA**

"there are rocks in my socks" said the ox to the fox.

sleep well

**EMILY**

i was thinking more along the lines of a wood particle

**JESSICA**

.com/watch?v=Wq0yaZ33DPM

**EMILY**

**JESSICA**

beloved children's story

**EMILY**

no

MY

i think it's time for breakfast!

**JESSICA**

...

oh

**EMILY**

yum

YUM

YUM

*YUM*

*YUM*

**MORGAN**

Yum

**KALYN**

SAM'S COMING! :DDD

**JESSICA**

yay!

**KALYN**

I felt very empty earlier...

There was a strange vacuumlike sensation.

**JESSICA**

?

sometimes i feel super light, like i'm floating out of my skin... same sensation?

btw, emily's headed out

**EMILY**

i've had little monsters on my netflix instant queue for a while...

**EMILY**

ro-lal is roxy, fuckin foreshadowing, today i was listening to the chicago soundtrack...

**KALYN**

nice lawl

I think that's definitely one of the names I considered would be a good one for her

-sigh-Dirk.

Really.

(oh and we were right about the hero titles)

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

That Lalonde is Void and Strider is Heart, which also means that Jake is Hope.

**EMILY**

question though...how do we know this?

**KALYN**

when he formally introduces Roxy and Dirk, toward the end of each of their little intros he has VOID and HEART incorporated into their sentences when he's describing their relationships with their guardians. Capitalized for emphasis even, so he was making it pretty obvious.

**EMILY**

oh...

god i really need to start paying attention

**KALYN**

ehyep.

**EMILY**

ha

**KALYN**

bed now

gnite

**EMILY**

NACHT

* * *

><p>Praise the mundane! More insightful observations to come, promise.<p> 


	26. playerprophet plug

****Shorter than usual, but with slightly more relevant substance. Links are broken and mostly irrelevant, if it's from MSPA you can literally just stick what's there at the end of mspaintadventures(dot)com and you'll find what we're talking about. There was one link that I did fix because I think this post is worth reading (especially if you're a Dirk/Jake shipper, but even if you're not), and it's playerprophet(dot)tumblr(dot)com. (Now it's in here a total of three times, so you can't miss it.) Granted, the post takes some scrolling down to and it's right after a series of Dr. Who Porno gifs, but it's definitely interesting and worth reading. Enjoy the 4-person chaos!

* * *

><p><strong>JESSICA<strong>

if Snap wore a hat that wasn't a chef's hat, what sort of hat would it be?

**KALYN**

a newsboy cap

**JESSICA**

that could be cute

**EMILY**

yes

of course

**JESSICA**

can i shoot myself? I only just thought of this

413== 4 13 year olds...

**EMILY**

oooooooooh

woah

**KALYN**

woaaaaaahhhh

Is Jane's birthday/the day this thang started in her session 416?

**JESSICA**

so i wasn't the only one?

**KALYN**

(I don't think it is...)

I never thought of that.

all I know is he started on April 13, and that number carried on

**JESSICA**

hm, i don't know, has he said the date?

**KALYN**

and I wanna say Hivebent was 612, but I might be way off

um. yes. 413 is the day it all started

John's birthday

Happy April 13th 2009!

**JESSICA**

i was talking about the jane thing

**KALYN**

anyway I gotta go to class

**JESSICA**

our messages are being mixed up!

**KALYN**

oh I dunno. I think there was a date.

**JESSICA**

have fun!

**KALYN**

eh

later

**JESSICA**

it's supposed to be 11 11 11, because he decided to update on November 11th

also, Hussie did the same thing with Jane with the whole last sentence saying what hero she is, i'll check jake too

yup, he has Hope in his last sentence as well

**MORGAN**

yes, i be the awesome at deducing god tier... can i just say, i figured out which four they would be before they were even really introduced... just want to claim that achievement right there so i can feel good about myself.

**KALYN**

-bows down politely-

**JESSICA**

*enthusiastically prostrates in front of the feet of the all-seeing prophet*

**EMILY**

hahahahha

jessica-i thought i found another corn kernel

**JESSICA**

lolololol

i still find some floating around XD

**EMILY**

oh god!

luckily mine was just popcorn...

**JESSICA**

!11 "I think Dirk is probably going to make some sort of formal romantic overture toward Jake today."

spoiler!

if you haven't read the latest homestuck yet

**MORGAN**

thanks for the spoiler before the warning... way to go... it's a good thing im already caught up =_=

btw thanks for the ridiculous bowing. *gently lifts awestruck peasants to there feet, just as Yunho does to that vest-clad backup dancer in Before You Go*

**EMILY**

*praise all 3 like a god* I AM NOT WORTHY!

**JESSICA**

Hey, I thought it showed the most recent message, which is why i said it afterward! Which is the point because I saw Emily's comment before yours!

**MORGAN**

wat?

**JESSICA**

tis true! I was talking to you silly

**EMILY**

confusion

**JESSICA**

btw, are you letting my sister do her homework? also at Morgan

**MORGAN**

i mean i know what you're responding to, but i don't see how it makes sense

and she messaged me first

it's not like im holding her hostage

im just really interesting to talk to

**EMILY**

i'm not talking to her

NOW I WILL

**MORGAN**

psh

**JESSICA**

oh my god

seriously, she needs to do her homework

she only hands in half of it as it is

**MORGAN**

she's writing an essay right now

im motivating her

**JESSICA**

when you get the chance, you should read this. I think there is one answer you may enjoy. .com/question/index?qid=20120125211225AA7EcKg

**KALYN**

That was so beautiful. I was appreciating it, and then she threw in Kanaya Maryam and I was like YESSS and then the Harry Potter thing. That was wonderful. Also Annie reference too but yeah.

**EMILY**

JESSICA WROTE TI!

**JESSICA**

Yup

**EMILY**

hahaha i said ti

**JESSICA**

Although, I have to admit I don't get the Annie reference

Emily, you're lucky I'm not your mother, otherwise it would be under the floorboards for you!

**EMILY**

Hahahahahahahaha

**KALYN**

The School of Hard Knocks recalls Hard Knock Life from Annie.

**EMILY**

oh?

did ya'll notice in homestuck it says "gap of void" and roxie is the...rogue of void? well, the void person

**KALYN**

./tumblr_lyfa4sykA41r6hxvyo1_

YES

**KALYN**

yes, she's the void person. I think it makes her able to navigate the void.

**EMILY**

tisk tisk

**KALYN**

tisk?

**KALYN**

who are you tisking?

**EMILY**

you

**KALYN**

and for what?

**EMILY**

or...who made it

**KALYN**

IDK

but hey look

**KALYN**

playerprophet(dot)tumblr(dot)com/

**KALYN**

The post with that poster in it is forever relevant

find it.

read it all.

**EMILY**

which poster?

**KALYN**

it starts with "on this here chat between Roxy and Autoresponder"

**EMILY**

h'ok

**KALYN**

the poster that...do you not see the preview thumbnail in the message?

**EMILY**

oh...

i'm not on the chat page

**KALYN**

uhhhh

did you click that link thar?

**EMILY**

yeah

**KALYN**

the post I want you to read begins with those words

**EMILY**

h'ok

**KALYN**

and has the Deep Impact movie poster

among other things

(JESSICA THIS IS ALSO FOR YOU READ IT READ IT RIGHT NOW)

(when you get on)

**EMILY**

HOLY SHIT

that's neat

**KALYN**

RIGHT

I think that's Dirk's plan

**EMILY**

right

**KALYN**

brb

in a few min

**EMILY**

k

**KALYN**

k

back

mit Eis

skype?

**JESSICA**

Please! My iPod needs a break!

**KALYN**

I'm likin the General Terror and bandanas thing goin on superstuck right nao lawl

**JESSICA**

Ok, seriously guys, you NEED to follow Hussie on tumblr, because then you see weird shit like this ..com/tumblr_lyl2zxl8bR1r5ubkfo1_?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1327970962&Signature=McQgpCNGVYQTfDGB99cg%2FtW7ICM%3D

(and that's the actual Hussie tumblr not the RP one )

**MORGAN**

oh wow

o/o

**JESSICA**

i know!

**MORGAN**

PONY GAMZEE'S RAMPAGING THROUGH EQUESTRIA! **(attached picture of pony gamzee)**

**EMILY**

BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**EMILY**

LOLZ

.com/video_18377_

**MORGAN**

That was...um...

I am afraid.

**EMILY**

can't hear his name without thinking of homestuck ow

.com/video_17253_

**EMILY**

*now

**KALYN**

yes okay I enjoyed that

**JESSICA**

me too

…

**EMILY**

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CHECKED HOMESTUCK

CHECK IT

CHECK IT

**KALYN**

uhhokay

oh god I love how much of a brony he totally is

**EMILY**

YEAH!

and the equius reference

**KALYN**

nice ink bro

ehh hang on don't think I'm there yet

**EMILY**

ha

**KALYN**

where was the equius reference?

**EMILY**

wifebeater

STRONG something

**KALYN**

(btw, love how Bro's trying to turn Jake into a killing machine. why? don't care. protection, adequate sparring partner potential, or turning him into his own dream man, whatever. doesn't matter.)

oh I'll have to go back to that

**EMILY**

hahahaha

it's when he first gets the wifebeater on

**KALYN**

ahhh I see

it's a very STRONG look for you

**EMILY**

yup

yeah

couldn

t remember what it was

**KALYN**

is what it says

that message took forever to send.

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

I like how shitty the tatoo is, lol, he didn't make it clean and erase outside his arm.

**KALYN**

haha totes

hey Jessica did you read that crazy tumblr post I sent you gaiz a few days ago?

**JESSICA**

ummm...

maybe?

**KALYN**

playerprophet(dot)tumblr(dot)com/

**JESSICA**

oh yeah, not all the way through, no

**KALYN**

about the whole deal with the Deep Impact movie poster and whatnot?

Oh My God read it all the way through

**KALYN**

hang on...

**JESSICA**

it cuts the pictues and stuff...and i can't click on them...

it's offputting...

neeheeheehee, i like that Karkat and John picture at the top

**KALYN**

yeah on the mac I can at least side scroll but bear with me here

**JESSICA**

now it's working!

**KALYN**

the post you are looking for is right after the gifs of gay pornography. .

**JESSICA**

going through

ah...

yeah...

**KALYN**

That is the obstacle you are to overcome to reach the goal.

**JESSICA**

saw those last time...

haha

**KALYN**

Also all the totally relevant posts that you probably want to peruse.

I'ma start getting ready for mah day

**JESSICA**

k, have fun

**KALYN**

lemme know your thoughts on that though

I'm not going anywhere...

or you can just leave...

**JESSICA**

i'm not gone!

geez

i read that one before, actually

aaaand... i'm not surprised, lol

you know Hussie does that all the time

ok, well, you seem to be gone, and i also need to get ready for my day

because i haven't eaten yet...

talk to you later!

loooooooovvvvvvvveeeee yyyyyyoooooooouuuuuuu!

**JESSICA**

not gone yet! psyche!

ok, i was thinking

another hint we could have used to show that Dirk is guy (this might be a bit of a stretch...and I guess the only way this could be relevant is if Roxy is also homosexual...but bear with me!)

Jane and Jakes hero counterparts (life and hope) are the same gender as they are (Jane=Fef, Jake=Eridan) While Dirk's counterpart is Nepeta

using this logic, that would mean that Dave is possibly also gay (his counterpart=Aradia) and Roxy as well (counterpart=Equius)

could easily be a stretch, since I don't think there has been many hints about Roxy, if any, but there was one or two about Dave

**MORGAN**

it is quite a stretch, but interesting observation anyway

I had a thought about this recent update too

you know how movie posters foreshadow everything?

focusing on that one of stiller wearing dave's glasses (cause those are the glasses john sent to him), it says that stiller died because he got all caught up in his brother's business or whatever

so, does dave die, because he gets involved in bro's business? or i guess, will he die?

just something to keep in mind

also, so many weird horse things on his wall... definitely some resemblance to equius, aside from the STRONG look of the wife beater

**JESSICA**

No, Dave and Rose were killed by the Batterwitch, or, at the very least Rose was. Roxy was talking to Bro about how Jane doesn't believe anything she told her about how the Batterwitch is evil.

I'll find it if you want.

Dead Rose: " do u know how misrable it is for your bff to doubt you when you tell her your mom is dead"

(oh, also, if we are also using Bro's handle as proof, then Roxy is definitely a lesbian, her handle is TG)

Potentially dead Dave?: "TT: That they are not presently alive nor ever played that role for us as she understands"

Bro does use the plural, so that's what I think

He continues to use the plural, so i'm pretty sure they are both dead

ok, gotta go!

not that anyone is here...

*cough*

**MORGAN**

that doesn't necessarily make roxy a lesbian. it only works the other way, because there are far less double letter combinations. there are several characters who have nonmatching letter combinations who are girls, and who are not necessarily lesbians. (vriska, terezi, and nepeta both tend to lean toward the boys)

**MORGAN**

*all, not both

well, i know they're dead in this alpha-verse. I was thinking maybe beta dave might die in this upcoming session, when they are sure to meet at some point.

so i was wondering if it might foreshadow something there, like beta dave somehow gets involved with alpha bro's session, and then dies... or something. idk, we'll see if anything like that happens. i just wanted to make note of the poster, especially because those are dave's sunglasses on ben stiller's gaunt face

**EMILY**

holy shit that's confusing...

**MORGAN**

yeah, idk, just a thought

**EMILY**

yay!

**JESSICA**

So, James pointed out something else as well. Dirk's hair kinda looks like a dragon. The bit behind his ear is the head (square jaw and pointed ear/horn things) then the first spike/swoop is the wing and the other is its tail

it's hard to not see now, actually

**JESSICA**

back to what you said Morgan, I forgot about them and their handles... Well, they are all trolls, and trolls have a less straightforward romance thing. They don't view gender and sex the same way humans do (Curse you for questioning it!) I'm not saying Roxy is, I'm just saying, if we look at Bro's handle being "TT" as part of the proof or hints, it should be something we take into consideration. They could be extrapolations of course.

**KALYN**

I think the whole gay thing is more paralleled by the kids of each session. Jane and John are each other's counterparts, and so are Jake and Jade. The other two could be considered counterparts by whoever raised each other in either session, but if we go by opposite genders, we could say that Dave and Roxy are counterparts and have that similarity of being generally interested in the opposite sex (meaning no specific person, just men/women), and Dirk and Rose are counterparts because they are both gay. Right?

**JESSICA**

What?

i get what you mean with the J's being counterparts of each other

**KALYN**

Roxy isn't gay. She has a thing for Jake and also finds Bro attractive and obviously is hugely attracted to Dad. From both sessions.

**JESSICA**

ok, i didn't think she necessarily was, more food for thought

*mostly

**KALYN**

Oh I just mean since Jane/John and Jake/Jade are counterparts, those are each opposite sex pairings. So if we pair up the others based on that rather than guardianship, then we could draw the parallels between Roxy/Dave and Dirk/Rose. Sexual orientation is definitely similar, and their handles are matched up that way. TT/TG.

**JESSICA**

oh, i see what you mean

**EMILY**

SHIT SO MUCH TO READ

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

And also about the whole double letter thing, pretty sure there are less opportunities for double letters on handles than there are for non-double letter matchups, yet there's an equal number of girls and boys. Many of the girls have double letter handles, but many also have non doubles. All of the guys except Dirk have no double letters. Dirk is gay, I think that was the point of his exception (to show that femininity and also being the only canon gay guy). Rose and Kanaya on the other hand are both gay, yet Rose has that double letter handle. It doesn't really matter though because they don't really have to prove that femininity. I think it's almost like a double standard. Girls can have double letters or not, but when a guy has double letters it means he's gay or at least not like all the other guys. (Think of it like wearing skirts or pants! Girls can do either, but when a guy wears a skirt, it's weird.)

**JESSICA**

good metaphor!

**EMILY**

yeah i'm just gonna wait to read all this shit later

**JESSICA**

no! you have to read it now otherwise we will delete it all and you will never know!

**EMILY**

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

...oh well

**EMILY**

ready aaaand gonna read now

that is a good metaphor!

**EMILY**

DIRK HAS FAYGO!

**KALYN**

"I'll look up Hemera.

She is the personification of day.

KALYN

There's really not much else on her. She doesn't have a very active role in mythology, and there's even different ideas about who she's related to. But Nyx is the goddess of night, and they can't both be in Tartarus at the same time (or rather they don't). Wonder if Nyx is someone else's denizen."

Remember this? Nyx ("Nix") is totally Roxy's denizen. pwned.

**KALYN**

Going back through shit is really helpful!

**EMILY**

id on't remember that shit at all...

**MORGAN**

whose denizen is Hemera?

**EMILY**

roxy?

**KALYN**

Jane's denizen I believe.

Lemme see if I can track down the pages...

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=006034

Jane's computer, with the Hemera web browser

**KALYN**

.com/?s=6&p=006390

Roxy's computer with the Nix web browser

**JESSICA**

(I remembered! )

**KALYN**

SOMEONE CAME THROUGH!

lol

**JESSICA**

Of course!

**EMILY**

sorry! still need to pay attenion!

*attention

**JESSICA**

Trolling for fun and prophet .com/question/index?qid=20120203140125AAnJXXS

**EMILY**

can i just say that that was the sweetest rap off of all time

**KALYN**

shit I need to pay attention to shit

ok

hang on

**EMILY**

i was even semi-rapping it semi-out loud

**JESSICA**

what?

**EMILY**

latest homestuck

**KALYN**

yeah I definitely read Dave's rap with Equius out loud because it had such a great flow. I'ma take a break from my hours-long (all day, seriously) tangent of GD&TOP fanfiction and smut to read this latest update of Homestuck.

**EMILY**

hahahahaha

i'd ship it

**JESSICA**

ew

**EMILY**

gd/top

are you kidding?

**JESSICA**

oh

ok, that's ok

**EMILY**

ya know what else i ship?

**JESSICA**

?

**EMILY**

jessica/kalyn

**JESSICA**

funny you should mention that, apparently lizzy and james thought i was asexual

**EMILY**

uhhhhhh

awkward

**JESSICA**

yeah...

**KALYN**

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

**EMILY**

...

oh hey jessica

**JESSICA**

?

**EMILY**

i'm still giving you the cold shoulder

**JESSICA**

:'(

**KALYN**

as is clearly evidenced by this conversation?

Why though?

What happened?

**EMILY**

she was mean

**KALYN**

uhhh

more specific?

**JESSICA**

how?

**KALYN**

JESSICA

WHAT DID YOU DO

**JESSICA**

I DON'T EVEN KNOW!

**EMILY**

I TOLD YOU

**JESSICA**

i was supposed to text "it" but i have no idea what "it" is!

?

**EMILY**

I'M HOOD

**KALYN**

I...

I have no idea what is going on.

...Robin Hood?

**JESSICA**

emily told me to text her something while we were talking on skype

nothing in the conversation points to what though

**KALYN**

huh...okaayyyy

care to explain, Emily?

**EMILY**

i'm gonna go attempt to give the dogs a bath

**KALYN**

uhhhh

alright then

**JESSICA**

i am reading through all of our conversations today to see if i can glean some sort of answer

Emily! You said nothing about what I should text!

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

i keep sitting here going "what am I listening to? this isn't in my iTunes" and then i realize, it's Homestuck

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

I have more than 7 hours on my itunes of kpop

I think...

I've been listening to it all day

**JESSICA**

nice

**EMILY**

OMG kalyn

**KALYN**

yes?

**EMILY**

would you say you're the best fan fic writer of us 4?

**KALYN**

uhhhhh I'm not sure I haven't ever written anything seriously

Norma is the best at fanfiction though

**EMILY**

cause i just thought of the most awesome ship in the history of awesome ships

**KALYN**

yes?

**EMILY**

i think so at least

i'm thinking either 2 names for it

gammin or taezee

gamzee/taemn

*taemin

**KALYN**

uhhhhh what the fuck?

HOW WOULD THE WORK.

**EMILY**

who knows?

but i want a fan fic of it

**KALYN**

I...

I will figure it out.

**EMILY**

my first thought was terezi/jonghyun

**KALYN**

This is intriguing and just crazy enough.

**EMILY**

hahahahahahahaha

**KALYN**

To write about.

**EMILY**

yeah

wait

which one?

**KALYN**

Where doing it.

**KALYN**

Where making this happen.

**EMILY**

YES

where?

or were?

**KALYN**

both, why the fuck not.

**EMILY**

hahahahahahaha

SO HAPPY NOW!

**KALYN**

lol I was making the reference.

**EMILY**

btdubs

kalyn

(oh..awkward)

**KALYN**

yeah

**EMILY**

i'm hurt that you aren't following me on tumblr

jessica is

so now i'm giving both you the cold shoulder

**KALYN**

uhhh do you post anything?

**EMILY**

yes

**KALYN**

what do you post?

**EMILY**

jessica is literally my only follower

**KALYN**

because I don't follow any of my friends. I'm just following the Superstuck AU, so my dashboard just plays out like a story.

**EMILY**

whatever random downloady shit i have on my computer

:[

**KALYN**

I measure the value of my friends by my relationships with them irl.

**EMILY**

:{

**KALYN**

I don't think I need a superficial connection to make how much I love you apparent.

**EMILY**

still giving both of you the cold shoulder

**JESSICA**

well, Kalyn, sounds like there is only one thing we can do

**EMILY**

NO

ANYTHING BUT HTAT

*THAT

**JESSICA**

Count the number of fucks we give

**EMILY**

none?

**JESSICA**

:P

**EMILY**

am i right?

but i'm gonna be really sad without you guys

**KALYN**

I mean, if you want me to legitimize it, I'd find it more necessary to do something more than just press a virtual button.

**JESSICA**

;)

**KALYN**

If I'm doing this, it can't be small. I'm going all out.

**EMILY**

virtuality?

fun

**KALYN**

Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. Volcanoes will erupt.

**EMILY**

focus back

YAY

**JESSICA**

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

fuck yes!

**EMILY**

riiight

**JESSICA**

you going to turn her into a fighting machine too?

**EMILY**

YAY

i'm actually a rapping robot

FUCK?

yes

i'm a rapping robot

**JESSICA**

I CAN FINALLY ANSWER THIS! i've been dying ever since i saw it! .com/question/index;_ylt=AgivfOAGA_BaN8dcKHHnl_ye5HNG;_ylv=3?qid=20120203182916AAYwtOC

**KALYN**

(btw I give exactly one fuck. oh, there it goes! ~ )

**EMILY**

sad

**JESSICA**

lol

**EMILY**

hey jessica-did you watch the 2 new jacksfilms?

**JESSICA**

why are you asking me these things? aren't you giving me the cold shoulder for no definable reason?

**JESSICA**

;)

**EMILY**

i clearly told you to text it

and i would've thought that you would've known that by "it" i mean my phone

**JESSICA**

ok

well, my phone was elsewhere, going on a very important soul-searching journey to collect all the key shaped hearts before the lions come and eat its family

sorry i wasn't going to keep it from that

**KALYN**

you also have an ipod that texts.

throwin that out there.

**JESSICA**

also elsewhere

**EMILY**

BOO YA

**JESSICA**

(actually, it's battery died and i haven't recharged it yet .)

**KALYN**

so you let it die.

**JESSICA**

*cough*

**KALYN**

you neglected it and ignored its sputtered attempts to survive, purely to work for YOU, and passively watched as its life force blinked out and it passed into oblivion.

**EMILY**

thanks for being a terrible friend

tangent here

have you ever had a shower, where no matter what you do, it seems you never get wet enough?

**KALYN**

uh...I've never had a dry shower, no.

**EMILY**

oh...

it's weird

**KALYN**

unless you meant...

I asked your question to the room and Norma (I knew it would be her) just said "YES! THAT'S HAPPENED. It's so weird!"

I swear you and Norma are ridiculously alike.

**EMILY**

yay!

HERE COME THE MEN IN BLAAACK

**JESSICA**

again

**EMILY**

SO

**JESSICA**

speaking of sequels

**EMILY**

WILL THE first cd of homestuck ever be fixed?

**JESSICA**

There's a second Ghost Rider coming out, and Nic Cage looks OOOOOOOLD

?

**KALYN**

Yep

**EMILY**

tooooooo

**JESSICA**

what cd?

**EMILY**

.?s=6&p=005667

that's the page after? they talk about it

**KALYN**

oh it's been fixed forever

**EMILY**

well then...

**KALYN**

it was fixed while he was still rambling on about troll ancestors

**EMILY**

oh

well

never mind then

**KALYN**

but IDK if it is NOW since the Scratch restarted it all...

They're in the Alpha session now (or at least headed that way)

**EMILY**

whenever i feel i have some profound thought on homestuck ya'll are all "yeah, that's nothing"

and i'm all "awwww"

**KALYN**

oh lol

naw, the whole point of our conversations are to understand as much as we can

**EMILY**

cause i can't get theories and notice shit like ya'll can

**KALYN**

so any questions that can be somehow clarified are necessary

**EMILY**

rose/jack noir fight really makes me wanna watch alice in wonderland

**KALYN**

really?

**EMILY**

reminds me of the fight

**KALYN**

was that right after Rose went Grimdark?

**EMILY**

the alice/...fuck... fight

what's it's name

i dunno

**KALYN**

Jabberwock?

**EMILY**

yes

**JESSICA**

pretty sure Rose was all grim dark at that point

**JESSICA**

btw, they need to post more than just that one fan fic of a fan fic for super stuck

**EMILY**

thoughts on this:

I'm reasonably convinced of this much. When the Hero of Breath dies for good, it won't be as a scoundrel.

from this page

.?s=6&p=005694

**KALYN**

whaaaat? what fan fic of a fan fic?

they have MANY fanfics for Superstuck!

**JESSICA**

.com/post/17015401686/dave-visit-the-alternate-timeline-part-4-4

**EMILY**

HELLOS?

**JESSICA**

and emily, what are you getting at?

**EMILY**

^thoughts?

**KALYN**

Oh I haven't read the fourth part yet! I will later...

Emily what are you getting at?

**JESSICA**

ok, do you remember the whole "how to kill a god tier"?

**EMILY**

...not really

**JESSICA**

well, i'm pretty sure, all Scratch is saying, is when John dies, he'll die a true hero or soemthing like that

**KALYN**

yesyes They die either as a hero or a scoundrel. Their death is either just or heroic.

John is not capable of being a scoundrel.

**JESSICA**

i'll look it up, it's right before Vriska died

**EMILY**

i linked to the page

where he says that

what i put in

**JESSICA**

yeah, i'm looking for when he says how they die precisely

this has become a mission of the utmost importance!

**EMILY**

probably gonna fall asleep soon

**KALYN**

really?

I'm an hour ahead of you guys.

I'll just go back to my pervy fanfiction I guess...

**JESSICA**

yeah, sit in your corner, reading your pervy fanfiction

**KALYN**

lol don't worry I am

**JESSICA**

just know all the while, we are judging you for the deviant you are O.O *juuuuuuudge*

**KALYN**

=^o_o^=

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

sexual deviant

(was a premise for one of the fics I read today XD)

**JESSICA**

lol


	27. New Mediums! Skype and flowcharts!

This is barely relevant. It's also a Skype conversation. Yup.

* * *

><p><strong>Jessica<strong>

you seen the latest homestuck?

just one page, but interesting

mostly for the cliff hanger *cough*

**Kalyn**

okay I'll read it

crackpair heaven, lol

I now ship AR/Roxy

ARoxy

**Jessica**

haha

makes sense ^^

**Kalyn**

Wonder what AR's "plans" consist of. Although I'm guessing it has to do with Roxy actually, and sort of like freeing up Jake? Maybe? Dunno.

There's still Jane.

**Jessica**

yeah

**Kalyn**

And they're gonna talk about the "Jake thing" ZOMG

**Jessica**

i know!

**Kalyn**

Should I copy/paste this into HT too?

**Jessica**

why not?

**Kalyn**

Ugh, too many mediums...

okay...

**...**

**Kalyn**

I got the best idea

**Jessica**

?

**Kalyn**

bluetooth

I live in close proximity with many other people, many of whom have devices with bluetooth.

**Jessica**

aaaaand?

hack their phones?

**Kalyn**

sort of lol

well I see my neighbor's computer, and I can send files to it

multiple files actually

I could spam the shit out of it with over 8 and a half hours of kpop

all at once

the only downside is my computer has my name, so it'd be too obvious

I even renamed my phone to try it, but unfortunately you have to "pair" the devices first with a mobile

so he probably denied it

**Jessica**

haha

why do you want to do this? XD

**Kalyn**

it just occurred to me as a thing that could happen

I could be SUCH A TROLL

**Jessica**

hahaha

**Kalyn**

I can also listen to their itunes if I feel like it...

**Jessica**

lol

that's really not good!

is it because you share wifi then?

**Kalyn**

I've seen his itunes. There's a shit ton of disney.

**Jessica**

hahahahaha

**Kalyn**

maybe? we're all in the same network

it could also just be proximity though

macs are weird like that.

did I tell you about my mac's psychic powers/

?

**Jessica**

no

**Kalyn**

I was just going through it and I found all these old files from as far back as freshman year, but I only got this laptop last June

mom thought maybe from email, but I deleted any emails I had from then, I did a whole purge

there's no way it could've picked them up from our old laptops because they were gutted

and it has nothing to do with it just "finding" the files and documents from just my name and picking them out of cyberspace, because some of them didn't even have my name attached

it's a huge fucking mystery how they got there

I never put them on any flashdrive or anything

it's just bizarre

**Jessica**

wow

residual energy from your house?

**Kalyn**

lol

isn't it just the strangest thing?

**Jessica**

yes

**Kalyn**

I found these documents just a couple days ago

**Jessica**

huh

**Kalyn**

I deleted most of them (I left one from creative writing that I liked lol)

**Jessica**

yeah

lol, unless it is going to go absolutely nowhere, i tend not to delete stuff

hey! speaking of documents, i've got a story that you might like to read

i kept forgetting to ask you, but i have it in my googel docs

wanna read it?

**Kalyn**

sure

**Jessica**

where should i send it to?

**Kalyn**

but I stil haven't written my profile...

just send me the linnk? or something

**Jessica**

fanfiction critics again?

**Kalyn**

doesn't matter

**Jessica**

ok, i'll see if it will work

hell, for all i care you can log into my account if you want to type on it

**Kalyn**

lol you can also invite me...I think

but I seriously need to write some shit I'm sorry I've been procrastinating for way too long

**Jessica**

i can

**Kalyn**

this isn't helping anything, I promise I'll read it

**Jessica**

pff, it's fine,

get yo' work dun!

**Kalyn**

ah! I'm not a flake!

**Jessica**

hahaha

o

i'm worse about that

**Kalyn**

okay...

see you!

**Jessica**

love you!

**Kalyn**

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

**Jessica**

gah!

**Kalyn**

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

hey.

**Jessica**

what?

**Kalyn**

hey.

**Jessica**

*glare*

**Kalyn**

you're talking to Emily right?

she just commented that it was difficult.

**Jessica**

yeeees... *glances suspiciusly*

**Kalyn**

wanna combine?

**Jessica**

what?

what's difficult?

talkingg all at once?

**Kalyn**

yes

**Jessica**

WIMP!

**Kalyn**

.

lol

**Jessica**

OK

i think i wouldn't mind combining herr

* * *

><p>And then we did. And skype-based technological shenanigans ensued.<p>

Mostly that I had each of them join the conversation I was having with the other, so there were two windows (and I caught them by surprise with both of them), and also (and I think this has to do with who was part of the original conversations and who did the inviting) we had fun editing each others' messages and our own and making it impossible to accurately document the entire conversation. I was the only one able to edit everyone's messages though, Emily could edit hers and Jessica's, and Jessica could only edit her own. Therefore I was the dungeon master. Oh yeahhh. And you can bet I abused that power relentlessly. :]

And below is some of the chaos that happens when you have three people trying to talk on skype at the same time!

* * *

><p><strong>Emily<strong>

i wanna give a famous person a fist bump...

**Kalyn**

hah

I'm gonna find a famous person to fist bump

and then take a video of it

and send it to you

**Emily**

sad...

bitch

**Kalyn**

lol

ILU

**...**

**Jessica**

ok, i'm going back to my My Little Pony thing

see ya : D

**Emily**

no

**Jessica**

yes : D

**Emily**

fine, kalyn and i will flirt

**Jessica**

it's going to be beautiful

you should read it when it's done

both of you

and Morgan too

**Emily**

k-kalyn?

**Jessica**

Shhh, it's ok

**Kalyn**

actually I'm currently updating Homestuck Therapy because suddenly I can log into fanfiction

**Jessica**

it's just us now

damn it!

**Kalyn**

only dreams now!

**Emily**

oh

ok

we're gonna flirt

**Jessica**

sigh

fine

bye

**Emily**

byeeeeeeeeee

come here sexy kalyn

**Jessica**

have your blasphemous flirtations

see if i care

**Emily**

;)

**Jessica**

yeah, here i am

not caring

**Kalyn**

always behind the winky face

**Jessica**

not even a tiddly bit

**Emily**

h'ok

**Kalyn**

...

**Jessica**

lol

**Kalyn**

tiddly.

**Jessica**

yup

**Emily**

fun word

**Jessica**

tittly?

**Emily**

sounds sexual

**Kalyn**

oh yes.

**Jessica**

lol

**Emily**

come over here sexy kalyn and we're gonna have a tiddly

**Jessica**

uuuuuuuhhhhh *Gamzee face in Highblood Pressure*

**Kalyn**

hehehehehe

I'm bolding our names!

**Jessica**

you naughty girl you

i think?

**Kalyn**

um no?

**Emily**

HOLY SHIT YOU CRAZY

**Kalyn**

more work goes into HT than you think!

**Emily**

oh...

sorry

**Jessica**

No, I believe it

**Jessica**

that's why I wouldn't do it XD

**Emily**

BUT PEOPLE CARE!

**Jessica**

i know

i still wouldn't...

although i appreciate the work that goes into it!

i'm just really fucking lazy

**Emily**

YAY KALYN

**Jessica**

oh my god, didn't even get through the second episode

i gotta take a break

**Emily**

muahahahahaha

**Jessica**

i'm surprised at how much i can type on pastel colored ponies!

**Emily**

KALYN I'M WATCHING

GIVING IT A GANDER

**Kalyn**

hahaha pastel colored ponies...

yay!

love Music Mondays! Simon and Martina are the shit!

**Emily**

YAY

**Kalyn**

So did you not find the subliminal messaging? Or did you already know about it?

**Emily**

I'M ONLY A LITTLE MORE THAN A MINUTE IN

**Kalyn**

yeah I was wondering if you saw it in the picture

guess not...

**Jessica**

what?

MLP?

**Kalyn**

what?

what's wrong?

**Jessica**

sigh, what are you talking about?

i am confused, as always

**Kalyn**

oh haha latest macro

**Jessica**

oh, ok

oh, ok, the "fuck me blind" thing?

**Kalyn**

yup haha

**Jessica**

ok

lol

**Emily**

IZ funnah

**Jessica**

brb

more homestuck, you read it yet?

**Kalyn**

pretty sure

**Jessica**

i'm on the first page currently

**Kalyn**

it ends with the "I've already chosen these two characters" thing yes?

**Jessica**

ummm...

the entire update?

i don't know, dirk tries to leave his room though

does that ring a bell?

ohp, yup

**Emily**

AH

HAVEN' READ

HOLY SHIT

K READ

**Jessica**

okey

**Emily**

are we just noticing that there's an update or are we conversing about it?

**Jessica**

uh... dunno

do you have anything to say about it?

**Emily**

oh...not really

**Jessica**

lol

well, i liked how UU stopped "cheering" Bro rather than "trolling"

just thought that was interesting...

**Emily**

oh yeah

**Jessica**

and now that I think about it, does it seem as though there might only be two trolls in her session?

**Emily**

i don't even remember that snap's chef hat stuff...

**Jessica**

she said that her "coplayer" but...

what?

**Emily**

i'm now reading homestuck therapy

**Jessica**

oh

ok

i haven't read that in ages

actually, not since we were typing it XD

**Kalyn**

do I have to copy/paste THIS now too?

**Emily**

not if you don't want to...

**Jessica**

it's not much!

**Emily**

I'LL DO IT?

**Kalyn**

lol I'm actually editing the Skype conversation from last time right now, soo...

I could just...move it...

**Emily**

oh...ok...

**Kalyn**

even though it really isn't that much at all.

so I think I'll just not.

oh but you did bring up something interesting.

**Emily**

h'ok

**Kalyn**

damn you.

**Emily**

WHO?

**Kalyn**

Jessica

**Jessica**

: D

**Emily**

what?

**Kalyn**

...

The idea that UU might be in a session with just two players.

I don't think it's necessarily true, but it's still a theory.

**Jessica**

yeah, it was just something i threw out

**Emily**

oh right...

**Kalyn**

Although UU hasn't even entered the medium yet.

**Emily**

i think if the beta trolls had a shit ton of trolls, then there will also be a shit ton of alpha trolls

**Kalyn**

The trolls all thought they would have 6 people on two teams

**Emily**

OR THOUGHT

THOUGHT

THOUGHT

what if, just like the beta trolls, there are teams, and there are only them on that team?

**Jessica**

(Karkat and co. are the alpha trolls, aren't they?)

**Kalyn**

yes

sort of

theirs wasn't a game so much as a virus, right?

**Emily**

FUCK, CAN WE BE MORE SPECIFIC ON WHO ARE THE BETAS/ALPHAS?

**Jessica**

the young trolls after the scratch

**Kalyn**

Betas=original session

so the ancestors of the trolls we know and the original kids

**Emily**

well, that's what i've been saying

wait

**Kalyn**

Alphas=the session post-scratch

**Emily**

so wait, how are the trolls alpha?

**Jessica**

they are the second try for that universe

**Kalyn**

just because it's the same name we're giving to the kids, it operates the same way

**Jessica**

the second try for the kids universe play "Sburb Alpha"

**Emily**

oh...

well fuck, i've been using beta for both of them

**Kalyn**

yes. the Beta version of a game is the test-run for it.

**Jessica**

damn it! you beat me to it!

**Kalyn**

where they see if it has any bugs by letting some testers play it.

**Jessica**

and John and co, and the ancestors and co. were "test runs" so to speak

**Kalyn**

yes

**Emily**

well i know

**Kalyn**

so they're the Betas.

**Emily**

i get the kids as betas

i'm just..fuck...

**Kalyn**

Post-Scratch sessions are Alphas, so the trolls we know (since their session was after the scratch) and the new kids.

**Emily**

i'll just either accept i don't get it, or refuse to change my ways

**Jessica**

lol

you don't have to understand why, just know that Karkat and co. are the alpha trolls and Jane and co. are the Alpha kids

**Kalyn**

Just remember that there was a session before the trolls we know. It was when trollian society was peaceful, before their session was scratched and Doc Scratch's influence came upon Alternia and turned trollians into a war civilization so that they would be able to beat the game this time.

And switched the roles of players and ancestors.'

**Emily**

wait...we know this?

**Jessica**

both of the alpha's had outside interference (just thought of this)

**Emily**

fuck

**Kalyn**

yep

**Emily**

FUUUUUUUCK

**Jessica**

it was during Doc Scratch's preening

pretty sure

**Emily**

oh...

fuuuuuuuuck

**Kalyn**

Remember Scratch's long winded tales of the ancestors?

**Emily**

not really

**Kalyn**

He briefly explained that they were the players of the first session before it was scratched and the roles were switched.

**Jessica**

lol, Emily, here is your homework: Reread Doc Scratch's ramblings XD

**Kalyn**

yes

**Emily**

oooooooooooooooookkk

**Emily**

when i'm done reading homestuck therapy

btdubs, are any of ya'll on facebook?

**Jessica**

yeah, you'll see a lot of this there too

no

**Kalyn**

yes

**Emily**

k

**Jessica**

btw, emily, i think the reason why we remember it better is because we were reading it while it was updating at that point, while you were behind enough that you wanted to get done

so, it's understandable

**Emily**

cause i was gonna put one of my theories i've had for a while...

yeah

**Kalyn**

put it here,

I'm gonna copy/paste it all in one go

**Emily**

but fuck, i kinda remember where i was when i was reading that

**Kalyn**

it's a lot easier on skype

**Emily**

k

i told jessica about this

**Jessica**

oh?

**Emily**

i think, that jake and roxy are gonna have a thing

**Kalyn**

I thought it would be Jake and Jane

**Jessica**

oh... *embarrassed because she doesn't remember that*

pff, i'm pulling for Dirk and Jake

**Kalyn**

Although on the way there I wouldn't be surprised if all of the kids got their chance with Jake.

**Emily**

cause in the KIDS BETA session, dad and mom had a thing

**Kalyn**

oh, well yeah. How is Dad connected to Jake though?

Dad is a universal constant.

**Jessica**

a guy from that side of the family?

**Emily**

huh?

**Kalyn**

what?

**Jessica**

lol, i like to think of them all as a large incestual family

**Emily**

awwwwkwwwward

**Kalyn**

whut.

**Emily**

but sexy

**Jessica**

even though, really, the j's aren't related to the blondies (need better name)

**Kalyn**

okay but Emily. Explain.

**Emily**

well,

i dunno

**Jessica**

it's just how i imagine them

how i rationalize this

*shrug* no real reason

**Kalyn**

Jessica, what are you talking about?

**Emily**

first off, so, jake=jade and jane=john

ya know?

**Jessica**

yeeeeaaaah...

**Kalyn**

sure, they're the ancestors that they actually know they're related to in each session.

**Emily**

even though we think of it the other way

**Jessica**

(i'll explain, don't worry, kalyn)

**Emily**

BUT dirk=dave and roxy=rose?

**Kalyn**

sure

**Jessica**

yeeeeeaaaaah...

**Emily**

first off, why the fuck is that, it messes with my mind

**Kalyn**

(but I also made the case that based on chumhandles, it could be the other way around)

**Emily**

it's one reason why this fucks me up

**Jessica**

oh, the girl=guy then girl=girl and guy=guy thing?

**Kalyn**

Except...no wait, haha, John and Jade have different chumhandles than their own "relatives" so...damn.

holes.

**Jessica**

truuuuue

**Emily**

cause you could either go with it 2 ways=the incorrect way, where jake=john so roxy and jake will have a thing

**Kalyn**

Either way, you could make a better case to saying Jade=Jane and John=Jake and Dirk=Rose and Roxy=Dave

**Jessica**

yeah

**Emily**

OR you could do it the correct way where jane=john and roxy and jane have a thing

**Jessica**

hahah, bwhat?

**Emily**

gah, it makes sense in my head

**Jessica**

ok, i see where you're goin

**Kalyn**

I'm confused. How come both of these make Roxy and someone have a thing?

**Jessica**

well, i see where you are in your rationalization

**Emily**

since in the beta session rose's mom and john's dad had a thing

**Jessica**

(see, that's the part i don't see tying in, lol)

**Kalyn**

okay well Dad isn't related to ANY of them

**Emily**

HOW? THAT'S HOW I'M TYING ALL THIS IN!

**Jessica**

yeah he is, he's related to John and Jane

lol

**Kalyn**

Roxy is totally attracted to Jane's Dad, which is the same Dad John had

yeah, but he wasn't part of the whole...NO HE ISN'T

**Jessica**

yes he is! ... ok, not to Jane

**Kalyn**

There was no birth giving with his semen!

**Emily**

BLAHAHAHAHHA

sexy?

**Jessica**

well, he could have been sewing his wild oats for a while...

we don't know this for a fact

**Kalyn**

NO

**Jessica**

*cough*

creepy...

**Kalyn**

THEY CAME IN ON METEORS

**Jessica**

lol

buuuut!

**Kalyn**

NO

**Jessica**

he ISS related to Grandpa John!

**Emily**

I'M NOT BASING THIS AS IF THEY HAD KIDS OR NOT

**Jessica**

and Grandma Jane!

**Kalyn**

...hmmmmmmm

**Jessica**

he is their child!

**Emily**

ROSE'S MOM AND JOHN'S DAD LIKED EACH OTHER

**Kalyn**

true. That is strange.

**Jessica**

in both universes

**Emily**

THEY ARE NOW THE KIDS

**Kalyn**

How both Nana and Poppop were able to produce the same exact offspring.

**Jessica**

no... no they're not... only Rose's mom is a kid...

**Emily**

ERGO, (tee hee) ROXY, AND WHO EVER THE FUCK WE ARE HAVING JOHN'S DAD BE HAVE A THING

**Jessica**

well, yeah! we're ignoring genetics here!

**Kalyn**

uhh, John's Dad is still...Dad.

**Jessica**

at least 32 characters were created via ectobiology

**Kalyn**

Unless you're talking Colonel Sassacre here, which I think would be a more solid theory than Jake or Jane.

Going by your logic.

**Jessica**

whose?

whose logic?

**Emily**

did you guys just read what i just said at all?

**Kalyn**

Emily

**Jessica**

ok

**Emily**

or are you just ignoring me?

**Kalyn**

no. I said that your theory doesn't make a whole lotta sense...

**Jessica**

John/Jane's dad-Dad as we shall call and have always done so-is never going to be a kid

Mom became a kid

Bro became a kid

**Emily**

i'm not talking about the kids

**Jessica**

you are! Roxy!

remember?

**Emily**

wait

**Kalyn**

what? You're talking about Roxy and Jane/Jake

**Jessica**

because Roxy had a thing for Dad

**Kalyn**

yes

**Jessica**

in both timelines

**Kalyn**

yes

That's the main connection to be drawn here

**Jessica**

so, what's emily sayin'?

**Kalyn**

Dad is universally constant, and Roxy's attraction to him is as well.

**Jessica**

yes

so...

am i being really obtuse here?

**Kalyn**

no

**Emily**

that's is not what i'm talking about at all

**Kalyn**

Please explain then!

**Emily**

what does obtuse mean?

**Kalyn**

nevermind

**Jessica**

dense

stupid

**Emily**

...

k

gah, i'm gonna copy and paste what i said

**Jessica**

ok

**Emily**

On 2/11/12, at 12:31 AM, Emily wrote:

ROSE'S MOM AND JOHN'S DAD LIKED EACH OTHER  
>On 211/12, at 12:31 AM, Emily wrote:  
>THEY ARE NOW THE KIDS<br>On 2/11/12, at 12:31 AM, Emily wrote:  
>ERGO, (tee hee) ROXY, AND WHO EVER THE FUCK WE ARE HAVING JOHN'S DAD BE HAVE A THING<p>

**Kalyn**

Except Dad's not a kid!

**Jessica**

yeah...

who are we 'having John's Dad be"?

**Kalyn**

and in THIS universe, John is the ancestor, so his "dad" would be Colonel Sassacre

**Emily**

when i was talking about the "2 ways you could have it, the incorrect and the correct way" that's what i was talking about

**Kalyn**

but the hole is DAD WILL NEVER BE A KID he will never switch roles with anyone! He's always gonna be between Jane and John in whatever generational order!

**Emily**

GOD DAMNIT I CAN'T HAVE HAVE ONE PROFOUND THOUGHT WITHOUT YOU GUYS RUINING IT!

**Kalyn**

but I'm so confused by it!

**Jessica**

BECAUSE WE DON'T UNDERSTAND!

how about you type up everything you can about this and then either copy and paste it here

**Kalyn**

in an essay.

**Jessica**

then we won't interrupt you and you can get all your thoughts down

yes

with citations

in MLA

**Emily**

no

**Kalyn**

organized

**Emily**

fuck that

**Jessica**

noooo

we want to knoooooow

**Emily**

citations and MLA and all that shit

no

**Jessica**

oh, ok

i think?

**Kalyn**

just a thorough and organized explanation that's all I want

**Jessica**

me too

**Emily**

i've already said shit, but you guys were ignoring me

**Kalyn**

NO WE WEREN'T

**Jessica**

no, i read every word up there!

it just made no sense

**Kalyn**

So did I!

**Emily**

...

**Kalyn**

I couldn't see the connections you were making!

**Jessica**

same

just type it all out from start to finish and show all your connections

hell, make a flow chart if you want!

**Emily**

hahahaha

**Kalyn**

that could be fun haha

**Jessica**

i know ^^

**Emily**

if i feel like it tomorrow, and can remember, i will make a god damn flow chart

with pretty colors

**Jessica**

please write it all out too

**Emily**

and crazy awesome fonts and shit

**Jessica**

the flow chart will help though!

**Emily**

and it will be the most organized flow chart you will ever see

and you will be wanting me to make flow charts for your classes

and you will get high marks on your amazing flow charts

and everybody will be asking how you did them

and you will say your friend emily made them

and they will be asking me to make flow charts for them

**Jessica**

and then we'll get a zero because we cheated *crestfallen*

**Emily**

and i will have to start charging for my services

and i will get so many customers that i could retire at age 20 and live in a lavish LA home for the rest of my life wile i date joey richter and have aweome clothes and an awesome body

and not have macy walking all over me and standing on my chest

**Jessica**

(except he lives in Chicago, where they are more friendly to play productions)

**Emily**

nope

LA

**(conversation devolves into Joey Richter)**

* * *

><p>We are excitedly anticipating the flow chart.<p> 


	28. Internet Success!

****I fixed a couple links, since they're somewhat relevant to homestuck, if only just barely.

* * *

><p><strong>MORGAN<strong>

holy shit guys, i check my messages and there are 244 just on this conversation?

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

**MORGAN**

ok, now that I'm all caught up

dirk totally pwns at life

**JESSICA**

oh? explain, lol

**MORGAN**

just the update today

it's only a few pages, and it moves quickly, but some major pwnage ensues

**JESSICA**

oh, ok, when he's in Derse? I saw that last night. yes, he pwns all

**MORGAN**

yep

also, pineapple fanta is pretty damn good

**JESSICA**

really? i'll have to look into that then

**MORGAN**

hey, do you guys do mycokerewards?

**JESSICA**

don't drink coke products enough

**MORGAN**

well, if you ever do get your hands on any coke products, and you find the codes, would you mind sending them to me?

**JESSICA**

nope, wouldn't mind at all

**MORGAN**

(includes fanta, powerade, minutemaid, sprite, dasani, bargs, pibb, FRESCA, mellow yellow, nestea, and seagrams ginger ale)

IF ANY OF THESE PRODUCTS ARE IN YOUR HOUSE I WANT DEM CODEZ!

*cough* fresca and nestea? *cough*

**JESSICA**

nope

**MORGAN**

bummer

**JESSICA**

sorry

**MORGAN**

you guys drink lipton dont you?

**JESSICA**

not often

**JESSICA**

usually snapple

**MORGAN**

ooooohhhhhh

snapple

**JESSICA**

yup

**MORGAN**

yeah, that shits delicious

**JESSICA**

lol, it is quite delectable for shit

**MORGAN**

anything else that i listed though?

perchance?

im just on a cokerewards rampage basically

**JESSICA**

lol, ifwe did, i would tell you XD

**MORGAN**

like, i went through our recycling bin just for caps

**JESSICA**

nice

**MORGAN**

and now i have 21 points from just today

there are these headphones that we wanna save up for

**JESSICA**

yet again, i would help, but i can't!

although, i suppose emiily should see this...

**MORGAN**

yeah is coo

eating giant woopie pie... whoopie? whoopy?

one of those

**JESSICA**

yeah, they are yummy ^^

**EMILY**

I SAW

but we don't get any of those

just diet pepsi cans

and dasani sucks

**JESSICA**

true dat

**EMILY**

hahaha

been watching hgtv all day

and now i really want my own house

**JESSICA**

lol, yeah

**EMILY**

also wanna clean my room, but my workout yesterday has been showing it's effects today and i don't feel like moving

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

OH MY GOD DIRK IS SUCH A BOSS

**EMILY**

boo ya!

**EMILY**

:)

**KALYN**

:D

**EMILY**

:O

hey...

**JESSICA**

I have a question for you three. Over the summer we're going to be gone for a few weeks (as you should know by now ) and we'll need someone to watch the pets. There should be a time over Memorial's Day (?) and July 14-July 21 that we need people to house sit/pet sit. I'll give you a better idea on the first dates. But if any of you would like to partake in these festivities that are watching buddy, skye, topaz, cloud and soot, kindly let me know! the sooner the better!

**EMILY**

if i don't have anything going on then i'll do it

but i don't know yet

**MORGAN**

we most likely wont have anything, so i guess just keep reminding us so that we don't make plans

**EMILY**

WE CAN ALL DO IT!

**KALYN**

S'long as our cousin isn't bullshitting us with the St. Louis concert thing, we might have to leave a bit early (20th maybe? IDK) but there's like a 60% chance that she is, so it should be just fine.

**JESSICA**

yeah, i can be pretty bad about reminding people ^^' although i don't know if our second choice will be willing to, lol. apparently cloud tried to bite her? which is a little out of character for him. *cough* only a little .

**KALYN**

hahahahahaha lol naw I'd love to do it, but it's rather far away and stuff but yeah. Shouldn't really be a problem.

**JESSICA**

lol, the only one who should be complaining about distance is emily

**KALYN**

pshaw I meant in the future!

**JESSICA**

what? like when you're in Boston

**KALYN**

whut

**JESSICA**

"i meant in the future" it will be far away and stuff...i was making a joke... *hides in shame*

**KALYN**

uhhhh I think you overshot the calculations

**JESSICA**

o_O

kindly explain, since i am lost and sleep deprived

my cognitive skills are not up to par

**KALYN**

I think late July is far enough away from early February for me to call it far away and stuff.

**JESSICA**

oooooooooooh, you meant tiiiiiime

ok, i was thinking distance

**KALYN**

yes hahahahahaha

"I meant in the future"

far away in the future...

**JESSICA**

see, still took that as it would be something to consider in the future, lololol

**KALYN**

Dude okay so one of my tumblr posts fucking BLEW UP

**JESSICA**

oh! btw, I really like your TOP macros

?

**KALYN**

like (Thanks!)

**JESSICA**

(you're welcome )

**KALYN**

like it had a lot of notes for a macro to begin with, but now suddenly everyone is reblogging and responding to it and it has more notes than your AVERAGE macro and it just keeps going! I mean usually these things just die out after a few days, but damn!

50 notes!

**JESSICA**

wow!

**KALYN**

I had 9 just within the past few minutes where people were reblogging and responding!

**JESSICA**

lol, i was tickled when my "equius is creepy" post was reblogged once XD

wow!

**KALYN**

It's the Will/Jazz=TOP/GD comparison

(I just watched that lawl)

**JESSICA**

oh, haha

i liked that one

almost reblogged it

i don't know if i've reblogged much of your stuff

**KALYN**

I mean I've often thought they were comparable but I never realized it could have this much of a response...

IDK either, I know you liked one of the recent ones. "Let There Be Light." Made me feel all warm and tingly inside.

**JESSICA**

OHMYGODI'VEGOTANOTHERFOLLOWER!

haha

although, i think my new follower will be very disappointed XD

**KALYN**

lawl

well I noticed some of your posts and shit and thought many were relevant

Also Emily's West Boro Sassy Gay Friend thing was funny

**JESSICA**

i know!

relevant to what, exactly?

homestuck?

**KALYN**

my interests

**JESSICA**

/superstuck?

**KALYN**

Even just the "Now Jjong, My Jjong, my supertall; shorty help the meager"

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

**KALYN**

little things like that could make my day

**JESSICA**

glad i can be there

**KALYN**

(52 notes)

**JESSICA**

via a somewhat anonymous site (holy crap!)

(or: hopy shit!)

**KALYN**

hhahaahahahaha

53*

**JESSICA**

that is so awesome!

it's approaching memedom

ok, maybe not really, but, lol

**KALYN**

uhhh I mean 56... hahaha

seriously, it's climbing as we speak

**JESSICA**

that is so amazing!

**KALYN**

it's pretty awesome.

I'm glad I could come up with something like this! Shit...

I feel successful!

**JESSICA**

you should!

lol, your making my successful feeling seem inadequate

**KALYN**

This is all I've ever wanted! Internet response!

-fans self-

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

**KALYN**

-prepares acceptance speech with tears-

-practices tears...-

**JESSICA**

hahahahaha

**KALYN**

60

**JESSICA**

hell yes!

it's just skyrocketing!

**KALYN**

Gonna pee and get dressed, but I'm not going anywhere k?

**JESSICA**

oh, lol, btw, when you said it blew up, i thought you meant it literally XD

**KALYN**

I'll chat as I pull on my pants or something

**JESSICA**

ok

too much homestuck (ok!)

http:/justhereforsuperstuck(dot)tumblr(dot)com/

**JESSICA**

THIS IS THE PERSON FOLLOWING ME! CHECK IT OUT, I THINK IT IS RELEVANT TO YOU INTERESTS!

ohmygod! it looks like they reblogged your unicorns! or ponies, or whatever!

ohp, nevermind?

yup, never mind...

**KALYN**

LOLOLOLOLOL

That's me... HAHAHAHA

**JESSICA**

i know!

i know!

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

**JESSICA**

I was just randomly curious to see what all she had posted, and BAM there you were!

**KALYN**

LAWL

**JESSICA**

ah! so happy for j00!

**KALYN**

66 nao

couple people commented on it

**JESSICA**

how do you comment, btw

just reblog and say something?

**KALYN**

Like reblog it and add your own words is what I mean

yeah

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

I want to hug all these people, seriously

67

**JESSICA**

:D

**KALYN**

I was going to stop procrastinating and do homework

SCREW HOMEWORK!

I'm watching tumblr! :DD

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

**KALYN**

68

lol

**JESSICA**

it just keeps rising!

dude, if you DO make it to memedom, it'll be so fucking fantastic! (alliteration gives it that oomph, doesn't it?)

**KALYN**

maybe it'll plateau eventually

hahahah yes

or just the word fucking

**JESSICA**

eh, we'll see

lol

but add the alliteration and you have a megalith of awesome!

because that makes sense

**KALYN**

XD

totally

69

(Is it bad that I kind of wish it would stay there?)

**JESSICA**

no

i was going to say the same thing XD

for whatever reason, Dave and Bro speak Japanese

or at least a little

do you think they do it ironically?

**KALYN**

they speak japanese?

**JESSICA**

"sugoi" people keep having them say that

.com/post/16536907006/downatthedeli-this-is-preciesly-how-dirk-shall

**KALYN**

ahhh yes

**JESSICA**

and this

.com/user/MasterYorgi?feature=gb_p13n_ch_rec#p/u/17/6hfaOe4lhMQ

**KALYN**

I think it applies more to Dirk, but yeah

**JESSICA**

wait, i thought dave said it in the video, but he doesn't

i know i've seen it!

**KALYN**

ah

welp

**JESSICA**

oh man, this is so funny! XD .com/user/MasterYorgi?feature=gb_p13n_ch_rec#p/u/20/7dk2ayz2hbQ

**KALYN**

okay before I go any further, why the fuck is Dualscar Sean Connery?

**JESSICA**

i don't know! just keep watching!

**KALYN**

I LOVE HIS FACE AT THE END

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

i know, right?

i love master yorgi so much ^^

**KALYN**

jeez please tell me you're caught up on Homestuck

**JESSICA**

of course!

this morning!

**KALYN**

(71)

**JESSICA**

unless he updated again

**KALYN**

oh god I just love the Dirk/Jake thing.

He better go through with it!

**JESSICA**

no kidding!

i will be very disappointed!

speaking of which: .com/watch?v=5OE-CPmDjBs

**KALYN**

I think he will. Because of that Deep Impact tumblr post.

**JESSICA**

lol, yeah

(and it was Bro both times)

**KALYN**

awwwwwwwwwww

**JESSICA**

(with the Sugoi thing)

**KALYN**

yeah Bro's a weeabu

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

okay I think it's begun to plateau

still awesome though XD

**JESSICA**

no kidding!

and it might resurface later

**EMILY**

Y'all talking about homestuck?

**JESSICA**

btw, what the fuck? .com/user/MasterYorgi?feature=gb_p13n_ch_rec#p/u/23/JUgnQdBEiz8

nope! Kalyn's macro

and homestuck lol

**EMILY**

Oooh

My professor just mentioned the kardashians and their store...

At 70 years old. Holy shit

**KALYN**

I love the random Sufferer with his long pants there

**JESSICA**

what?

**KALYN**

he was in the video

once

also that was so much more epic than Quest of the Lowbloods

**JESSICA**

hahahahahahah ai saw him!

no kidding

**KALYN**

74?

**JESSICA**

nice, why are you unsure, lol

**KALYN**

didn't feel like scrolling down...

yeah 74

**JESSICA**

doens't it say how many notes? or i suppose your just checking reblogs

**KALYN**

no it tells me

I'm counting notes

**JESSICA**

ok

**KALYN**

I don't feel like counting just reblogs...but I could.

except that would involve actual counting.

**JESSICA**

imma brb, i'm hungry and need to go to the *whispers* baaaaafffroooooom

haha

ok, brb

**KALYN**

k

hahaha that parents video was amazing

**KALYN**

I gotta split in a few

looks like it's gonna stay at 74. Most popular post I've made, pretty kewl. XD Gonna work on more later tonight, maybe after I actually do my shit. But whatever

Later guise!

**JESSICA**

lol, buy!

(hopy shit what's wrong with me x.x)

**JESSICA**

i am fucking psychic, i was looking back through Homestuck Therapy, and I saw that I called Spades Slick and the Snowman!

unless I read on and Kalyn tells me that I am being silly and that it was written somewhere .

**MORGAN**

wtf to that pizza hut taco bell thing

**EMILY**

huh?

**JESSICA**

Morgan, that was my reaction

**KALYN**

"Hey New Guy"...Jessica, you know that it's me you're talking to, right?

**JESSICA**

what?

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING EARLIER!

now i feel silly...

**JESSICA**

you purposefully mislead me i even sent a link

I feel betrayed *sniff*

**KALYN**

no I mean...I thought I'd made this clear.

hang on...

**KALYN**

THIS IS THE PERSON FOLLOWING ME! CHECK IT OUT, I THINK IT IS RELEVANT TO YOU INTERESTS!

ohmygod! it looks like they reblogged your unicorns! or ponies, or whatever!

ohp, nevermind?

yup, never mind...

LOLOLOLOLOL

That's me... HAHAHAHA

i know!

i know!

**KALYN**

Therefore I thought you knew...

Sorry!

I even said how your tumblr posts are relevant to my interests! As an explanation for why I decided to follow you!

And Emily too.

Even though her posts aren't always quite as relevant...

(my thang is at 90 now btw. I lied about the plateau thing...)

J-Jessica?

**JESSICA**

oh...

i looked...

and...

i saw nothing on here...

...

*hides in corner*

**KALYN**

I mean I clicked on that, and I realize now what you think I meant by that, since I reblogged that very macro that's all over the fucking place but yeah...wait, what? Nothing?

(Because I can't figure out how to do shit from the ilikekpopforthemusic blog, but shit)

**JESSICA**

oh...

i...feel silly now...

i'm not taking down that post though!

**KALYN**

Please don't!

**JESSICA**

it stays damnit!

lol

**KALYN**

I feel very warm and fuzzy to have a post dedicated to me!

We can play it off as irony!

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

that is sort of the point of the site

did you see my description?

**KALYN**

Like we were both in a back-and-forth of ironic conversation where you pretend you didn't know it was me, and I pretend to...not be who that is.

No, what description?

(Like Dirk and AR, sorta)

Ah, yes

A pit of despair and wanton abuse of the internet

Hey, I remembered it all without looking! First try!

**JESSICA**

hahaha woo!

it's not a lot, so that helps XD

**KALYN**

myyyesssss

There's someone who turns MV premises into movie posters, and I'm perusing her blog

Kpop^

welp perusal over.

**JESSICA**

any good?

**KALYN**

yes quite

oh hang on

**KALYN**

.com/tagged/mv-to-movie

**KALYN**

You might at least like the Lucifer one, if for no reason other than Minho's face and the fact that Lucifer looks like it was written in nail polish.

(which is almost all there is to it, lol)

**JESSICA**

that's great!

**KALYN**

93

just sayin

**JESSICA**

nice!

hasn't plateaued yet! just not going at the same rate as before XD

**EMILY**

WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE NUMBERS FOR?

**KALYN**

How many notes my Will&Jazz/TOP&GD macro has

**EMILY**

oh

ok

i see now

**JESSICA**

94

ust sayin

**EMILY**

WOAH

**KALYN**

95...

98

**JESSICA**

ok, gtg!

**KALYN**

otayyy

I need to do homework and shit too, so I should probably actually do that...

**KALYN**

"...now we're beyond the pail.

TT: Pretty sure it's pale.

TT: Is it, now?"

**KALYN**

lawl

(broke a hundred)

119 now

still slowly climbing, just not nearly as quickly

**JESSICA**

That's cool!

I am using speech recognition! How cool is that!

**EMILY**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

Have you read the last Homestuck?

**EMILY**

not yet

**MORGAN**

maybe?

**EMILY**

i was gonna wait until there's more to read

**JESSICA**

oh...

**EMILY**

should i read it now?

**JESSICA**

well it's interesting!

**EMILY**

so wait, is it just me that thinks having jane enter the game first is a bad idea?

**EMILY**

since she is the heiress

**MORGAN**

hm... interesting idea

that might actually be a bad idea, but i suppose if dirk is her server player, then he's highly competent, and he could protect her.. maybe

**JESSICA**

why would it be a bad idea, precisely?

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

that's not an answer...

**KALYN**

lol

**EMILY**

SORRY DIDN'T SEE YOUR THINGY

bad idea cause more people wanna kill her than any of the others

and when she gets in nobody can help defend her

**JESSICA**

So, Homestuck update. UU? Connected to the signless somehow.

you guys seriously need to read this, i'm dying to talk about it!

fine, i will talk about it, but know that everything will be spoiler-ish in nature

ok, so the Bard and the Prince are opposites (like the Rogue and Thief are) the prince is active while the bard is passive. So, the prince is a destroyer, which makes sense with Eridan. It's not like he was there to make people hopeful. He fulfilled his role as a destroyer of hope by destroying that egg.

**JESSICA**

lol, the bard description kinda makes me laugh. UU said that it is the "wildcard" almost, and they can control the fate of the entire group: they can cause the downfall or the victory of the group. So, maybe that was what AH was talking about?

UUs horns are pretty cool too, but i'm not sure whose they look like. ... i'm gonna look real quick

Ok, they look like similar to Gamzee's or Eridan's or like their horns got together and had baby horns and then those horns grew up.

...

hmmmm

but UU is female, and connected to the "sufferer" (although not when he is suffering)...i haven't a clue who UU could be then

teehee, she writes fanfiction too ^^

SPOILERS^

**JESSICA**

unless she is the signless...

but there is also the likelihood that if she is from the beta troll session, then they don't put as much stock in the hemospectrum? that could just be a new thing from their new Spartan existance.

**JESSICA**

who knows though, pure conjecture, and you guys aren't here to stop me

MORE SPOILERS^

(i don't know if this constitutes as a spoiler) UU explained the whole typing quirk thing. helps them stand out as individuals!

anyway, i got that out of my system, no go read so i don't have to sit here awkwardly waiting for you all

**EMILY**

so, my guess=UU is alpha session's terezi based on the "dirk is this you" hmm yes, UU does have some pimpin horns

hmmm, don't remember what else i was gonna say

**MORGAN**

i don't think UU is terezi... voice is waaaay different. that was just a self-referential joke on AHs part. he likes repetition.

also, I find it interesting that the bard is passive, because gamzee controlled so much of the game... yet if you think about it, he really is passive, but to his dual nature in a weird self-unaware way. Like, his crazy self just sort of takes over... like he's a slave to his self.

**MORGAN**

also... i wonder if UU is in fact the signless from their beta universe... wouldn't that be mind blowing... I'm going to say it's possible, because Dirk's double letters invite the possibility that a male can have that...

and kalyn speculated that it could have been the signless before, but she never brought it up... she thought so cause the text is also gray...

**MORGAN**

also, unrelated side note: /pin/13229392625200709/ LOOK AT THOSE PANCAKES!

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I had a moment of wondering earlier on as well.

Btw, i don't think that if UU was a guy, he would refer to himself as a girl, just sayin'

and she totally does

AND THOSE ARE THE CUTEST HEARTS EVAR!

**MORGAN**

woah, she does?

well nevermind

arent they?

(you do mean the pancakes yes?)

**EMILY**

i wasn't saying that i thought UU was terezi, just that she would be the alpha session's version of Terezi

**KALYN**

what do you mean?

like justice Terezi? Or lick people's faces Terezi? Or roleplay with plushies Terezi? Or shitty drawings-based relationship with her session's strider Terezi?

**EMILY**

liiiike, didn't you say...norma? was like me

**KALYN**

yes? oh.

That makes total sense!

**EMILY**

she would be the boston me

do you really get it now?

**KALYN**

There are people here that I think are almost like boston versions of people back home.

Like Melanie is boston Destiny!

**EMILY**

sure

**KALYN**

lol future suitemate XP

Although Norma and you have some similarities, but you're not so alike that I would call you alternate versions of each other.

You think similarly, but you don't act the same.

**EMILY**

i know

that's just the best example i had

**KALYN**

Well I think it sort of worked.

(It was the drawings-based Stridership one, wasn't it?)

**EMILY**

as long as you are getting what i got

uhhh

sure that made sense

do ya know what it's time for me to watch?

**JESSICA**

Emily, do you mean that UU is the beta version of terezi? so she wouldn't be "justice" terezi (unless, kalyn you meant that like Dirk is ... bro, horrible example)...anyway, i don't really think that's her either... hmmm, it might be time to go back to when Doc Scratch was telling the story of the beta trolls...

also, UU might not even be one of them

**EMILY**

GAAAAAAAHHHH

**KALYN**

I meant like what about her will make her the sort of beta-version of Terezi's character. Like what similarities will be drawn between them.

I settled on the drawing-based relationship with a Strider, as it was an actual similarity.

**EMILY**

fuck, let's just forget i ever said that

**KALYN**

But I like it!

It is speculated that she's the "thirteenth troll" though, which makes sense given her trollian symbol.

**EMILY**

i based that soley on the "dirk is this you"

**KALYN**

still a basis, but yeah Morgan's explanation made sense with the whole AH likes repetition thing.

**EMILY**

yeah

**KALYN**

dirtyhomestuckfantasies(dot)tumblr(dot)come

**KALYN**

Tell me what you think about this.

**EMILY**

WHAT THE FUCK?

**JESSICA**

the internet is full of strange people. There's really nothing more to be said, lol

"I would love to let Equius fart in my hair"

What?

"I want nothing more than to have Nepeta claw up my scrotum and pull out a testicle while I blow my load all over her face. I am a girl." Well that makes sense!

Just read them all. That's...

interesting?

Strange, strange fantasies. I will not claim to even remotely understand these people.

**KALYN**

I don't understand why there are so many that are like "I want to do this to that chick with my man-parts. I am a girl."

Just one is a strange amount, but more than one of those?

Also I love it when they start out with "I want nothing more than..."

Really? That's all that you need? Not like...food, or anything?

**EMILY**

Blahaha

**JESSICA**

Hahaha, man... now all i can think of is all those people being super horny simply because they posted those

Although, I have to admit, the one where they talked about sollux pinning them and having sex in class is a bit...strange...

Nope, scrath that. anything to do with Cal freaks me out

**MORGAN**

i feel like cal is most people's least favorite character... at least the sane people i've talked to.

**JESSICA**

yeah, exactly

**KALYN**

Hussie hasn't updated in quite a while.

**JESSICA**

he's not going to

**KALYN**

Cmon Hussie! Start husslin!

**JESSICA**

i believe i told you this

**KALYN**

no?

**JESSICA**

he's taking the week off

**KALYN**

ohhh

hm.

**JESSICA**

or at least, don't expect anything within the week

**EMILY**

HOLY SHIT

**JESSICA**

pay attention when i tell you things! :

**KALYN**

okayyyyy.

**JESSICA**

*:P

**KALYN**

You didn't tell me!

**JESSICA**

no, not specifically

**EMILY**

I REmember this

**JESSICA**

ask your sister, maybe she knows

**KALYN**

she would.

I don't feel like speaking out loud tho.

more energy than it's worth.

**EMILY**

ha

**JESSICA**

haha, TEXT HER!

**KALYN**

also I would have to arrange words into a sentence

and that's just tedious.

**JESSICA**

;)

**KALYN**

just tell me if you told her.

**JESSICA**

ok, work now! i'll talk to you in no less than fifteen minutes

**EMILY**

oh goodness

**JESSICA**

i told everyone, i think it was here

**KALYN**

no less?

**JESSICA**

anyway!

yes

damn it!

**KALYN**

ummmm no?

**JESSICA**

i'm leaving now!

**KALYN**

:'(

fiiiiine

**EMILY**

;)

**KALYN**

I really should get to work too

**EMILY**

i'm still here

**KALYN**

grumblegrumble

**EMILY**

NO

FUUUUCK

FOREVER ALOOOOONE


	29. FuckGiving and Sexy Benches

****This is sort of a bit of irrelevant mundanity sandwiched between two insightful HS-related conversations. I tried to keep the more irrelevant stuff short. This is everything leading up to...just now.

* * *

><p><strong>JESSICA<strong>

lol

Hussie has a couple more pages up for today. He says it's in "honor of VT Day" but he hasn't really stopped his break.

what do you think of this? " ,3,3338O" also, hussie seems to be wanting everyone to realize that ~ath=tildeath lol

^not realy spoliers just a couple of notes. Also, those hearts, even though that was what they were intended to be, just look like 3 3 which...i assume you all know, but it sort of adds to how the thing looks? Meh, you'll see it in the update, i don't know why i'm explaining this

**JESSICA **

Moar spoilers! This has to do with the current reproduction practices! Roxy says "wrigglers" and "the old-fashioned way" this makes me wonder if this is part of the Condesce's influence. Which is also part of what I have been considering. I don't know if i've mentioned this yet, but I think they are all going to ... yeah, i'm thinking about it and throwing holes into my own theory... anyway, this is what i think, which, like i said, is probably full of holes:

**JESSICA**

fuuuuuuuuuuck, i accidently travelled from this page

ok, let me try and think this through again

(it was really long too )

anyway, Jake's island has al of the lusi on it

and i was thinking that if there is in fact a way on the alpha earth to reproduce the same way the trolls do, then they have a chance to repopulate and there would be lusi there to care for the trolls after they pupate(?)

but! as i was thinking through this, they can't populate earth, because either earth will be completely gone, or they can't reach earth from the void

so then i thought, maybe the lusi will go with jake into the medium? which also brought up another point about how much goes into the medium with the kids after they teleport out of there

is the area as large as the meteor which is about to hit (which would actually make sense) or is it as much as they habitate? I dunno. anyway, John's house (and can we assume Jane's) and only a little bit of the surrounding yard goes with, rose's house seems to maybe have the same area, since the sepulchre is not there, and i don't think the tower is there either

**JESSICA**

and how much of Dave's apartment building went with, but not a whole lot of the city went either

but now comes the part where i wonder if it has to do with how large the meteor is. wasn't Jade's island going to be hit by the largest meteor? if what i suspect is true about the area the meteor was about to hit leaves too, then the entire island would probably go along with all of the lusi

**JESSICA**

at which point the trolls could probably populate Jake's new world, and then if they can get either another matriorb or another...matri...something . so they can repopulate and start again

but then, and this is a totally random tangent of where my brain went that may or may not be true (more likely the latter) but i'm just throwing it out there, maybe the world they repopulates becomes either another Alternia or maybe even the beta Alternia (which would make more sense for this to be a crazy theory) and then everything starts all over again?

**JESSICA**

there's probably stuff that can easily shoot all of this down, but just some errant thoughts that decided to continue into fruition. penny for your thoughts it's really long, i know

anyway, more homestuck today, don't expect too much for the next couple of days though

huh, not as long as i thought...

(my stuff that is)

anyway, spoilers up there, keep that in mind

but not many now that i think about it, it's mostly just my theory... but read the update first regardless, since aspects of it tie into the tangent

**MORGAN**

holy shit, jessica's writing a novel

with some really interesting thoughts about meteors that i find rather compelling

yeah, i feel like the whole goal of the condesce is to repopulate/recreate a new alternia so that her race may continue to exist.

so perhaps we can speculate-woah! i wonder what they're world would be like!

the one that they win at the end of the game!

i mean, think about this

**JESSICA **

yeah, i was thinking that too

**MORGAN**

theoretically, we know how their session is going to go

it's going to be perfect and they'll win at everything and ultimately the game, because that's what happened with the alpha trolls

but, i really don't think hussie can end it that way

**JESSICA**

why's that? Problem Sleuth ended well

**MORGAN**

after all, now all sorts of shenanigans are in play to potentially fuck everything up, like the beta kids traveling to the alpha universe

there's just too much up in the air right now for things to end as they "conventionally" would according to the game

**JESSICA **

but maybe with the beta kids and the trolls going, they will all beat the game together, and beat Bec Noir, isn't that sort of the point? to regroup and beat Bec Noir?

**MORGAN**

ok, yes, i think they will probably beat bec noir.

bec noir is going to the alpha verse now?

(i kind of forgot about him, for whatever reason)

alright, the way i see it there are a few different ways for this to ultimately end:

**JESSICA**

haha, well, who knows precisely what he's doing, but didn't one of the trolls want to go after Bec Noir then? but Rose said they should regroup?

**MORGAN **

First: Bec Noir is basically the wild card, and the beta kids/alpha trolls (possibly with the help of the alpha kids) beat him... but then we have to consider English and what kind of baddy he is.

cause he's definitely worse and more powerful than Noir.

**JESSICA **

definitely, lol maybe they all work together to beat LE XD

(sooooo cheeeeesy)

**MORGAN**

Regardless of whether Noir is defeated, (or maybe Noir will join the cheese fest and become good? against the greater evil?), LE needs to be taken down

**JESSICA **

yup

(maybe PM will convince him to join the good side XD XD XD)

**MORGAN**

possible

Other possibilities for endings:

they lose, and everybody dies, making the theme of the story chaos. Chaos exists, and there is no good or evel

*evil

I wonder how many times LE has been brought into existence?

is it like... every session not destined to win?

Also: Maybe they all come together to somehow beat the game for good, and finish it completely on such a grand scale, that it shall never terrorize another parallel universe ever again...

except that the game has pretty much come to represent the universe, and is woven into it in such a way that it is impossible for it not to exist.

**JESSICA **

I like that one... but I think LE has only been created once and he has only existed once

**MORGAN**

so we are all slaves to the order

hm...

so he is unique to this session?

**JESSICA **

yup, but i also wonder if they do ultimately fail, but that makes the game cease to exist

pretty sure he is

he was something that was always destined to be

**MORGAN **

hm... woah, like if a session that is destined to win fails instead, pretty much breaking Doc Scratch's deal and ... what was the other part of that deal?

**JESSICA **

i dunno, i was thinking more along the lines that the worlds they make become part of the game, so they break the chain of events that way

**MORGAN **

wait... no, was Scratch involved in the beta kids' game's scratch? he was right? that was his doing, ensuring the success of their alpha verse?

**JESSICA**

hmmmm

**MORGAN **

but the worlds that are created with the game always become part of the game

**JESSICA**

well, John scratched the disc on LoHaC

**MORGAN **

it's like the game is ... right...

**JESSICA **

and Doc Scratch fixed the scratched CD that "we" brought in because "we" couldn't see what happened next

and that's what i said, is it not? that they worlds that are created are part of the game, and so long as they continue to play (and try again) the game will continue to exist

**MORGAN **

it's like the game is like a giant monster feeding on sessions, like the failing sessions are its food. But when the players are about to lose, it offers them a deal that's like... double or nothing almost...

**JESSICA**

that, of course, is assuming that there is only one game is technically going on at one time

yeah

**MORGAN**

and of course everyone wants to continue to exist- i dont think that's the case

im pretty sure there are always multiple games going on at a time

parallel universes

**JESSICA **

true, but it seems like time is insignificant as far as the game is concerned, now that i think about it...

**MORGAN **

and I think, because of the inconsistencies of time, each session is always happening, has happened already, and will happen later, depending on how you look at it

**JESSICA**

because the trolls created the beta kids' world, but kanaya had rose's walkthrough while they were playing

**MORGAN**

right exactly

anyway, i was about to compare the game to a faustic deal

**JESSICA**

i'm pretty sure i've said something to that effect before, that everything has always been destined to happen

**MORGAN **

right...

but hang on, Faustic deal

so, think of the game (or Scratch (and his other universal counterparts)) as the devil

**JESSICA **

which i can't remember if i mentioned up there that i suspect that the alpha kids create the real alternia? i remember that i mentioned Jake's world becoming the new alternia...-yup, game/scratch=devil

**MORGAN **

in a doomed-to-fail session, the players make the deal in order to continue to exist. Basically the only choice they have really

so (and you've already implied this, i;m just getting it down in one place) what does the game get out of this deal?

if they take the deal, the game gets to continue, with another world to feed on after the next session wins and creates it.

otherwise, if they don't make the deal, both the players and the game cease to exist.

it's either win/win or lose/lose.

**JESSICA **

they are symbiotes, really

**MORGAN **

from this we can infer a few things...

if we can assume that not every session takes the deal, then there are multiple game sessions in multiple universes constantly going on

**JESSICA**

true

**MORGAN **

but, i think it might be safe to assume that every session proposed this deal takes it. All of them. because the nature of living is to want to keep living, at least in some form. in this case, it doesn't even matter if there are other games happening in parallel universes or not

**JESSICA **

yeah, life always goes on and it fights for its survival

**MORGAN **

in relation to this, i have two sort of theories on the relative "shape" if you will of the gameverses...

if its chronological, and one winning session leads to a world which becomes the next session, which then either wins or makes the deal and wins the next time, and so the cycle continues, then the gameverses are basically a straight line (without taking time into effect)

but I think it's probably more confusing than that, because events in sessions caused by sessions before them ultimately effect said sessions that came before... ie: rose's walkthrough used by kanaya

(but we could just look at time as a free agent of sorts)

**JESSICA **

yeah, i sometimes like to think of time as a "dot" and everything happens at the same time

**MORGAN **

OR we could look at the 'verses as each a point in a three-dimensional mass of sorts.. or maybe like a molecule-like-shape... with webs interconnecting each of them, or at least some of them

hm...

**JESSICA**

yeah,

**MORGAN**

that's a good way to look at it

**JESSICA**

Yeah

**JESSICA **

although, i wonder, what do the horrorterrors have to do with all this?

are they the agents that keep the game going?

**MORGAN**

well, we know time doesn't effect the horrorterrors, yeah?

they are a constant in every session...

**JESSICA**

yeah, and i almost wonder if it's the same horrorterrors, although that is incredibly debatable, but almost like it's always the same Doc Scratch

**MORGAN**

which means that theoretically the characters could interact with people from other universes in those dream bubbles…

except with the dream bubble thing, i think there has to be a common memory of some sort to do that...

**JESSICA**

which they do, do they not? the kids and trolls interact

**MORGAN **

BUT IT STILL MIGHT BE POSSIBLE!

**JESSICA **

then they can travel through the void to the other planets

**MORGAN **

yeah, but i mean from sessions that they've not been involved in

**JESSICA **

ok, i see

**MORGAN**

so maybe no other universes truly exist?

unless we can prove it through inter-planet/intra-void travelling?

**JESSICA **

maybe it's like galaxies in one universe?

**MORGAN **

ooh, maybe...

**JESSICA **

you can travel to other galaxies through the "void," or space, and then you come to places that can either be totally different or very simlar

although, what i find interesting are the certain things that ARE a constant, mostly actors and movies

(btw, let Kalyn know i've got the copy and pasting covered, i'll let her edit most of it, but i'll make it look all concise and neat without the crazy spaces)

**MORGAN**

gonna be rather absent for a bit... video chatting clarissa

**JESSICA**

but the consistencies point to something more than just different galaxies and more to parallel universes

ok, that's cool

**KALYN**

REALTITIES LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

^what I got from this update

**EMILY**

yeah, not reading all that shit

**KALYN**

Emily Y U Post Sad V-Day Song?

Guys I think Jake is a Page

**EMILY**

i made a valentines playlist of love songs, sad "i'll never get you back songs" and fuck you songs

and that one has been stuck in my head

I THINK MS WIKI SAID THAT...

**KALYN**

"TG: bet you would like to get PAGED huh jane

TG: *sweet innuendo"

**EMILY**

.com/wiki/Jake_English

**KALYN**

course

**EMILY**

boo ya

**KALYN**

Oh Jessica, how I feel about the hearts thing is there's a little Feferi face at the end with that extra 3 (the one without a or ,) 38O

**EMILY**

i knew that earlier

(my boobs hurt)

**KALYN**

o...kayyyy...

anyway

**KALYN**

"TG: mine is so sensitive it has been used to sweep the ocean floor for mythical sea monsters

TG: turns out

TG: all of those monsters are SO gay

TG: truth "

**KALYN**

What mythical sea monsters?

Could Eridan be gay?

**EMILY**

cthulu's pretty gay

**KALYN**

lol truth

**EMILY**

oh god

the nerds

they say that

they're coming

**KALYN**

whut

**EMILY**

*saw

they saw that

they're coming

oh god nerds

please i'm one of you

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahahaha

**KALYN**

"TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles

TG: nor jakes...

TG: lets say

TG: open mindedness?

GG: Well,

GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose.

TG: yuuup... "

**KALYN**

oh god yes

**JESSICA**

um, ok, i was just wondering if you had any thoughts on why that was?

the fef face thing

**KALYN**

why what was? oh

**JESSICA**

happy accident or "prophetic"?

**KALYN**

dunno. Condesce is Fef's ancestor, and Roxy shows signs of being influenced by trollian society, most likely because of the Condesce

I don't know if it's very significant

**KALYN**

How would it be prophetic?

Wouldn't be surprised if Roxy and Fef just know each other, since they both navigate the bubbles pretty well it seems (or someshit)

Or maybe it's a link to horrorterrors, I don't fucking know

I can see them being friends.

**JESSICA**

i dunno... i just throw stuff out there and see if anyone will think of something to go with it, i like to think of myself as a Plato...

and it worked!

**KALYN**

yeah I pretty much had nothing to contribute to your crazy conversation

speaking of which...are you still copy/pasting?

**JESSICA**

no, i haven't been on facebook until just now

i have up until i last spoke though

so you don't have a lot to do

i could...

**EMILY**

MY TOE HURTS

**JESSICA**

did you get my email Kalyn?

**KALYN**

probably, I'm a bit preoccupied catching up on Superstuck though.

V-day shenanigans

**JESSICA**

oh my gosh, reading it too, have you read "==Catch up with EB (But Not Really)" yet? The ending just made me go WHAT? WHAT? LITERALLY! OUT LOUD!

**EMILY**

was just dancing sexily to before u go

**KALYN**

what? I thought I was caught up, but what are you referring to?

Tatters?

**JESSICA**

Yes! Tatters, what the hell? lmao!

**KALYN**

hehehehehehe I'm excited for Gamzee/Tailorbird

**JESSICA**

lol, yeah (should I include Superstuck stuff?)

**KALYN**

sure, still slightly relevant

I usually include everything until the conversation gets really boring or like...tedious?

If you email it all, I can edit out stuff

I usually do

**JESSICA**

ok

I was just thinking that I don't appreciate Roxy's plans and by that, I mean I don't like her getting between Dirk and Jake

by the way, my computer seems to edit out the smily faces

**KALYN**

same here lol

but at the same time, she's just looking out for jane, keeping her informed

she's not really getting between them so much as trying to let Jane know the situation

**JESSICA**

true, but she's succeeding!

**(one irrelevant rant later)**

**EMILY**

wish i had overcome some adversity

**KALYN**

lawl clueless

**JESSICA**

although, i will say this, my computer always asks if i want to update anything, but i also never gave it the option to automatically update

**KALYN**

I think some things just update automatically because they function best that way and not very well without updates. ie, web browsers(?)

**JESSICA**

Nope

**EMILY**

YES

**KALYN**

but for applications and stuff, it always asks nicely

**JESSICA**

not on my computer

everything asks

**EMILY**

my phone's a bitch for that

**KALYN**

and I always answer, "no, I like itunes the way it is. don't fuck around with my music."

**JESSICA**

i don't mind, it means i'm in control!

lol

**KALYN**

because I've lost too much before for me to trust it not to fuck with my music.

**EMILY**

ha

I'M IN CONTROL

**KALYN**

I've got over 9 hours of kpop on there, not to mention everything else, so it would be nice not to have to replenish all of that.

**EMILY**

i have...like 3 hrs?

**JESSICA**

yeah, lol, i reset the date on my computer because i got a virus (and i didn't want to bother with actually sorting it out since it was bad enough)

so if i update itunes with my iPod attached, i lose everything

**KALYN**

Damn

**JESSICA**

why don't you make cds?

**KALYN**

yeah I don't have an ipod, so my computer is the only source of my music

**JESSICA**

duh, you have...

**KALYN**

BECAUSE

**EMILY**

I LIKE CDS

**KALYN**

HOW WOULD I ORGANIZE IT

I CAN'T FIT EVEN ONE FULL HOUR ON A CD

**JESSICA**

lol, you would have to make a project of it

yeah, a lot of CDs

**EMILY**

I LIKE CDS

**JESSICA**

I suggest by artist

**KALYN**

HOW WOULD I FUCKING CHOOSE WHAT GETS GROUPED TOGETHER, AND WHAT I'LL WANT TO LISTEN TO IN ONE SITTING

**KALYN**

SHIT

**EMILY**

FUCKING DUMB

**JESSICA**

or by album

**KALYN**

No, because some artists I only have one song for

I only have a few full albums

**EMILY**

cello dudes, stay

**JESSICA**

then you go through and choose your favorite songs

**EMILY**

i'd be like, FUCK YOU I'M OFF BITCH

**KALYN**

like...two...and almost a third

**JESSICA**

and make a special playlist or two

**EMILY**

i wanna play cello

play ba shit

**KALYN**

I already have those!

They have people's names on them.

**EMILY**

I'D JOIN APOCALYPTICA

**KALYN**

Because those were the mixed CDs I made for everyone

**JESSICA**

lol, i'm just saying, that way you can easily replenish without re-downloading from the internet

**EMILY**

but i'm not sweedish

FUCK

or blonde

**KALYN**

Well actually about that

**EMILY**

or a guy

**JESSICA**

about what?

**EMILY**

oh?

**JESSICA**

about emily being blonde?

**EMILY**

HEY

**JESSICA**

l know that, but it's only a mental thing

**EMILY**

NATURAL BRUNETTE HERE

**KALYN**

Since we're in the process of bluetoothing songs to/from Cynthia's and Kelsey's computers so our itunes match (or at least have as much Kpop as we can), then I could potentially replenish in this manner.

**JESSICA**

*waggles eyebrows mischievously*

**EMILY**

I'M ALL NATURAL

**JESSICA**

not anymore

**KALYN**

Actually, about Emily being a guy.

**EMILY**

hey

i'm not a guy

**JESSICA**

Kalyn, that could work (baahahahaha), but only until you leave

**KALYN**

oh?

yes, the leaving part.

welp.

**JESSICA**

yup

**KALYN**

I'll just continue to refuse those updates then, I gues.s.

**JESSICA**

lol

i suggest reading what they actually do, because there was one just recently about eBooks

totally irrelevant

**KALYN**

eh.

TL;DR

**EMILY**

am i a guy?

**JESSICA**

...

**KALYN**

also I like itunes the way it is.

**JESSICA**

is literally one sentence

maybe two

**KALYN**

whut

oh

**JESSICA**

at least on my computer it is

**KALYN**

I still stand by it.

**JESSICA**

mmmhm

**KALYN**

There's still the searching for it

and also all those fucks I don't give

**JESSICA**

no...

**EMILY**

RECENT CRACKED ARTICLE

**JESSICA**

haha, that's more like it!

you're in a not very "fuck giving" mood, aren't you kalyn?

seems to be the phrase that pays today

**KALYN**

any morsel of effort that could be thrown haphazardly into this is a morsel I don't want to haphazardly throw

**JESSICA**

Hahaha

**EMILY**

GIVE SOME FUCKS!

**KALYN**

YEAH BABY

Oh

**JESSICA**

(I keep getting distracted by my profile pic ...:3)

**EMILY**

I GIVE ALL THE FUCKS

**JESSICA**

*:3

**KALYN**

whore.

**EMILY**

all the fucks are for you

**JESSICA**

you are canon

**EMILY**

my canon lover

**KALYN**

sexy benches?

**JESSICA**

in a purely canonical sense

**EMILY**

yeah

FUCK YEAH

I LOVE CANON

**KALYN**

I love cannons.

**EMILY**

;)

**JESSICA**

you guys should totally have sexy bench sex with each other...on benches

**EMILY**

shall we give some fucks together?

**JESSICA**

but Kalyn never gives any fucks

**(then we started sending each other pictures of sexy benches.)**

**JESSICA**

are you back with the benches again? is that what all those links are about? can I just go back to tumblr and ignore this?

at least until later

**…..**

**EMILY**

HOLY SHIT

shouldn't just be a faygo party

**KALYN**

yeah, green jello too

**EMILY**

it should be a general homestuck thing

**KALYN**

I'll wear my ICP hat and shit

**EMILY**

having cheetos too

**KALYN**

betty crocker cakes

**EMILY**

cause cheetos are boss

**KALYN**

cheetos?

k

**EMILY**

cheetos are boss

should i be writing this down for our party?

mind honey?

**KALYN**

oh yes

mind honey

when the fuck was a chair "the most cosmic thing that had ever been invented" it was never "advanced technology"! you pretentious piece of shit!

**EMILY**

yes

**KALYN**

I swear he underestimates the intelligence of not only the viewers and interviewer, but people in the past.

no one's that fucking stupid.

**EMILY**

ya know, ever since i read dob's article, i really don't like zoey deschanel

fuck

**KALYN**

haha same

**EMILY**

i kinda feel bad

**EMILY**

but also not really

**KALYN**

eh

look at all the fucks I give

**EMILY**

you never give fucks

**KALYN**

nope

I have none to give

**EMILY**

do you give any fucks about me?

**KALYN**

I don't know how to adequately answer that

**EMILY**

NOT THOSE FUCKS

JEEZ KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS

**KALYN**

uh

see

I still don't know what you mean

**EMILY**

JIZZ IN MY PANTS

**KALYN**

oh

**EMILY**

but yeah

you should answer my question

**KALYN**

but fuck-giving is still too harsh

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

it doesn't quite match the tender feelings for you I hold so dear

**EMILY**

yay!

I LOVE GIVING FUCKS

**JESSICA**

Sorry for neglecting you guys for so long

I was doing stuff for my... music .

**KALYN**

Suuuuure

**JESSICA**

*giggles at Gamzee* I'm going to have to take that down, I am far too full of myself now

**KALYN**

I can tell that's true by your suspicious ellipses and shifty emoticon

**JESSICA**

hahahahaha

yup

except it totally is

then a little tumblr

and now i'm going to do more music stuffs

and then more tumblr

then sleep

**KALYN**

k

**EMILY**

i should sleep more...

**…..**

**KALYN**

GD's new snowy concept supports my earlier theory that big bang is wearing oxygen masks because B2ST saved them from the snow.

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

yesh

**EMILY**

oh…

**KALYN**

why does it always go like this?

**EMILY**

to class!

**KALYN**

K: Statement!

E: Oh?

K: Yes.

E: Oh...

**….**

**MORGAN**

you guys, why do you always have ridonk long conversations? I have to do so much scrolling holy shit!

**EMILY**

that's why i don't read them

**JESSICA**

well, i guess that would be the perfect time to talk about you ruthlessly under your own nose

**MORGAN**

Glad this is suddenly recent, just got done copy/pasting shit

with some editing

oh shit I'm Morgan

hang on

**EMILY**

hahahaha

hey

**JESSICA**

Lolololol

**EMILY**

guess what

?

morgan/kalyn

hey

**KALYN**

Like how it says Morgan's still on

anyway

what

**EMILY**

android users (me) are more likely to have sex on the first date

;)

**KALYN**

hm, I heard iPhone users have more sex than android users.

**EMILY**

WHAAAT?

oh

buuuut

they aren't as likely to have sex on the first date

i am

hey

omaha

lots of board games?

Dumb

**JESSICA**

see, i think i would rather be the iPhone user than the Androuid user

**KALYN**

what's with this random list of words?

(yeah the overall thing)

lol overalls

**EMILY**

i dunno what chu talkin bout

**JESSICA**

what random words? emily;s little tangent?

**KALYN**

Yes

**…..**

**JESSICA**

!

Homestuck updated, it's only one page, but it's kinda like Roxy's video update, I guess? Well, probably not at all, lol, but it has some interesting things! Along with the nature of their eyes? You'll have to watch it

**EMILY**

I did it! I found the UNO meme.

**JESSICA**

oh...

**MORGAN**

wait... new character? i didn't see any new characters...

i mean, i watched it... but new character?

but yeah, the update was totally fucking legit as shit

**JESSICA**

really? sort of new, she finally showed her face! as an active character

**MORGAN**

oh, i see what you mean.

not counting it, cause we all already knew she existed

**JESSICA**

but she showed her face!

**MORGAN**

ok but we had seen her before technically

**JESSICA**

I know, that's why I said "active"

but "NEW ACTIVE CHARACTER NEW ACTIVE CHARACTER "

is hard to type

**KALYN**

I have only this to say:

DIRK IS A BOSS.

That's really all there is to say on the matter.

**KALYN**

Also, I realize now why he wants to turn Jake into a killing machine. Because they way Jake is holding up against Brobot, there's no way he can survive the medium all the way through. I think Roxy and Dirk were seriously influenced by the Condesce and trollian cultural things too. Has the Condesce taken the place of the Black Queen?

**JESSICA**

hmmm, good question!

**JESSICA**

but with Jake, John wasn't that strong either, and he did fine

i would like to add: *Two pistols and a wink* lololol

**EMILY**

"the prince is awake, your shit is wrecked"

**KALYN**

Eh, 'cept they scratched that session, and John kept dying.

The first trolls weren't strong enough to win their session, which is why the second trolls were trained with the influence of Doc Scratch to make them a more ruthless and violence-heavy culture, and they breezed through the game.

**JESSICA**

Didn't he die once? (aside when he went to godtier)

**KALYN**

He died a bunch after he reached God Tier, didn't he?

In the battle against Bec Noir with Rose at least, I remember that one

**JESSICA**

But that was against Bec Noir! lol, i don't know if that counts, anyone would have trouble against him

only Vriska really stood a chance against him, and that was with her chance powers

**KALYN**

But there's still the comparison between the Beta/Alpha sessions of each race. Beta trolls were friendly and struggled with the game, they scratched, Alpha trolls were vicious and pretty much killing machines, and they breezed right through it until it was fucked up at the end. Beta kids were more like Beta trolls (I guess) but now the Alpha kids are some badass mofos that can cut off the head of a minion after being taken by surprise. Dirk is proof enough that post-scratch kids are way more prepared than pre-scratch kids (and I don't think it has all to do with being three years older). That influence is there, the Condesce and everything, they have a better chance than the other kids ever would of beating the gaem.

fuck. game*

**JESSICA**

Dirk was always kick ass though

**KALYN**

True, guardianDirk always pwned the fuck out of everything without even trying.

**JESSICA**

yeah, and Jade was pretty awesome too, don't forget, with her sharpshooting abilities

**KALYN**

But I still think Dirk's reasoning for wanting to turn Jake into a killing machine is so that he has a better chance of survival in the game.

**JESSICA**

oh, sure, no arguments there

I was just saying that he wouldn't have been too terribly off without it

also, the Alpha Trolls took, what, a few weeks to get through, while the beta kids only took a day

although, they didn't complete it, we could argue that

**KALYN**

Hmmmm how well did he fare against all the Alternian monsters running around his island? Have we seen him pwn anything yet? (Definitely not Brobot, although Dirk made it pretty much unbeatable.)

The Alpha Trolls also had twelve members, and the Beta kids had four, along with the assistance of all the Alpha trolls

**JESSICA**

nooooo...but he wouldn't face alternian monsters at the beginning...

**KALYN**

And yes, the kids scratched their session and the trolls finished theirs

at the beginning of the game?

you don't know that

the game hasn't even started yet, and he's facing Alternian monsters!

He's been living with them all his life, how come he's not pwning them all over the fucking place!

**JESSICA**

i meant the pawns, or whatever they were, the imps

**KALYN**

I know that, the game starts off with the weakest creatures, but Jake isn't yet in the game. He's had all these massive monsters everywhere to possibly train himself to learn to fight, and so far we haven't seen how good of a fighter he can be yet.

Why do you think those monsters are there?

All that trollian influence.

To train him to be a better fighter before he enters the game, perhaps?

**JESSICA**

or to train him to be crafty

**KALYN**

LE or the Condesce would easily have manipulated the world to put those there somehow.

crafty?

**JESSICA**

yeah, how could he have survived if he was as carefree as Jade?

**KALYN**

That's kind of my point.

**JESSICA**

yeah, but he doesn't just have to be strong

**KALYN**

Jade didn't have that influence from English or anyone, there were no monsters...

I'm not just saying strong!

It also takes craftiness and stealth to be a killing machine!

Endurance too!

And agility.

Just everything!

**JESSICA**

all he's missing is strength, and that's Strider's goal

**KALYN**

And those monsters were put there to train him to be a better fighter, a better survivor-in other words, a KILLING MACHINE.

Is that so?

I don't remember about strength, I think it's the whole package.

Just being better in general.

**JESSICA**

but he doesn't need brobot for anything other than becoming stronger

he has the lusi

he's learned to be stealthy, crafty, etc.

**KALYN**

The Lusi can help him become stronger, faster, craftier, better all around. So can Brobot. Brobot is trained to fight him though, whereas those monsters aren't.

He has to hunt Brobot first to fight him, doesn't he?

**JESSICA**

brobot is there to fight him but not kill him

**KALYN**

Either way.

**KALYN**

It's all Dirk's way of contributing to this, and we know that Dirk is heavily influenced by the Condesce (just for being awake on Derse, Roxy's shown this influence as well), and Dirk gave Jake Brobot to make him a better fighter. So he could survive the session. Just like the Alpha trolls were made to be better fighters (through Flarp and building houses and shit to get better at the game itself) specifically so they could beat the game.

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

What I'm saying is basically, how do we know Dirk isn't playing some sort of that role of influence here that goes into the post-scratch world to make all the kids better at the game?

Since he and Roxy are more aware of the proceedings of the game and all that.

**JESSICA**

hmmm

can't wait until we find out more x.x

**KALYN**

well I don't mean that he's like on the side of the Condesce or anything and that's why he's going through with this, I just think he's more well-informed that Jane and Jake are.

So he's doing what he can to prepare them for the game.

I don't think any minions are whispering into his ear telling him that it's what he needs to do. He just knows.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, i guess another way to look at this would be just the fact taht Rose and Dave are dead and Dirk and Roxy know why

Jane doesn't want to believe it because she loves Crocker Corp, or whatever

but do we know how much Jake actually knows?

**KALYN**

Yes, they just know more than Jane and Jake, who were raised by the big-baddies (or at least have their names) and so were probably sheltered from the more telling information.

No we don't. We know that he's really gullible though.

**JESSICA**

true


	30. Crossover Crack and Dante Basco

You know the drill. Stuff n' stuff, some analyzation, random snippets of silly conversations, things that are vaguely related to Homestuck. Broken links and broken dreams. And also needless dramatizations. Carry on!

BTW, if you like Homestuck AND Shinee, have I got a treat for you!

Also, Morgan and I (since we share a computer) often talk on each other's accounts, so half the time it says Morgan when it's me talking and vice versa.

* * *

><p><strong>JESSICA<strong>

"Knock, knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting coefficient of friction." "Interrupting coefficient of friction wh-" "MU!"

**KALYN**

k

**JESSICA**

aw... physics joke...

it's funny...

**KALYN**

I got it

**JESSICA**

i know, just...

**KALYN**

haha

**….**.

**KALYN**

Just looked over and saw I now have 69 posts on tumblr and am suddenly reluctant to post anymore.

YOU WERE JUST ONLINE AND ON SKYPE, WHY ARE YOU LEAVING

Jk, you're probably busy.

**EMILY**

hello

i'm not reading all that

**KALYN**

ok

**MORGAN**

i read all of it... all 132 messages. Sometimes, it's in the 200s, and I still read all of them. (*cough* Emily *cough*)

**…**..

**KALYN**

I feel like I've just improved my tumblr page 100%

by adding a classy frame on my banner

also, since someone asked for a promotional plug, my posts have gone from the wonderful number of 69 to 70.

**EMILY**

aw

hmmmm, do you want me to stop posting at 69?

**KALYN**

haha sure

**EMILY**

h'ok

tee hee 69

**EMILY**

sorry for my immaturity

**KALYN**

k haha

**….**

**KALYN**

okay guys we have officially seen the face of one of the beta trolls. Vriska's counterpart, actually, and she is wearing the signless charm. thoughts?

also SPOILERS just in case

**JESSICA**

Haven't read today's update yet, BUT all i have to say is i have this sinking feeling that Auto Responder is going to say "I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that right now" D:

gonna read it now and get back to ya

**KALYN**

ok I won't be on for a while, but that's fine

**JESSICA**

I don't know...She's...nothing like Vriska D: *instantly dislikes her out of spite*

I will say this though, I enjoyed the fact that all those Tinkerbulls were cuddling with Jake ^^

**EMILY**

THAT WAS ADORABLE!

**KALYN**

hahaha yes

Don't hate based on looks! Of COURSE she's nothing like Vriska! Vriska was born from the Spartan war-loving beta-trollian society!

**KALYN**

Also, guys, I really appreciate you guys. Seriously. Just for being there and for being reasonable and understanding. And chill. And not giving a shit what people think. Seriously. I love you both so fucking much.

**JESSICA**

Aaaaaaaaaaaw

I feel warm and fuzzy inside ^^

i'm not shitting you or anything

i've gotta say, you guys are the best friends I think I've ever had

*is seriously getting a little teary eyed*

ANYWAY! why i came on here. Check this out

.com/user/MasterYorgi?feature=gb_p13n_ch_rec#p/a/u/1/R-l3bqR1yRs

**KALYN**

Bahahahahahahahaha!

"How much for that?"

**…**

**EMILY**

READ ALL OF THIS!

**JESSICA**

Want a cookie?

**EMILY**

yes

**….**.

**KALYN**

Now to brainstorm for kpop fanfiction!

:B

**EMILY**

yay!

when am i gonna get my fanfic?

**KALYN**

oh shit I still need to write that

um Taemin/Gamzee & Terezi/Jonghyun, right?

**EMILY**

yeah

**KALYN**

any other pairings you wanna throw in there, or is that good?

**EMILY**

up to you

**KALYN**

Would you like to suggest a prompt as well?

**EMILY**

UP TO YOU

**KALYN**

I think Jessica should also throw in some ideas

**EMILY**

h'ok

**JESSICA**

So, I'm pretty sure that I saw a sign that was in Korean on the way home today

**KALYN**

schweet

I'm playing Google translate telephone

**JESSICA**

now, what have you been going on about *commences to read*

...

"playing"?

**KALYN**

haha yes

**JESSICA**

anyway, i have no idea what to do for crazy ships, if that was what you guys meant by "I think Jessica should also throw in some ideas"

**KALYN**

or like prompts or something

**JESSICA**

actually...just thought of one . Minho Sollux? That would be weird

anyway, since it seems to be just Shinee members, we could definitely base it off that easily. Time travel shit would be easy and very cliche

**KALYN**

totes!

OKAY I'M SENDING YOU SOMETHING EPIC

**JESSICA**

It's not like you're taking this seriously, right?

**KALYN**

Google translate telephone

I took our Keep Your Head Down misheard lyrics

(since I know them by heart by now)

**JESSICA**

oh god

(naturally)

**KALYN**

put them in Google translate into Korean

then copy/pasted that Korean results

and translated it BACK into English!

And this is what I have!

**KALYN**

wait, would it be better if I had a document with the different lyrics side by side?

**JESSICA**

hmmm

probably, yeah

**KALYN**

okay I'll do that

**JESSICA**

The suspense is killing me!

*anticipation growing*

**JESSICA**

have you...sent it or anything?

**KALYN**

fuck!

does it say I did?

I'm trying to attach it!

**KALYN**

DX

fuck!

fucking facebook!

**KALYN**

here it is!

**JESSICA**

She licked them, because I am gay

XD

My little man whore, my god these are beautiful

**KALYN**

Wait until Destiny's Child randomly shows up

**JESSICA**

lol

ok

How to weigh whey, that one actually makes some sense XD

**EMILY**

50X5=

**JESSICA**

...

**EMILY**

don't feel like doing math

**JESSICA**

x.x

how many times does 50 go int0 100?

**EMILY**

450?

2

no

fuck

**JESSICA**

and how many fifties do you have?

**EMILY**

JUST TELL ME

250

?

**JESSICA**

(what's 5 times 5? now multiply by 10)

**EMILY**

BRAIN NO WORK

**JESSICA**

yes

no kidding

**EMILY**

GAH

**JESSICA**

it is 250, you are right

teehee, Kalyn, that was great ^^

**…**

**EMILY**

ha

i just had an english mother fucking muffin

**JESSICA**

I'm eating reese's pieces...They are addictive .

**EMILY**

your face is a reese's pieces

**JESSICA**

...ew...

**EMILY**

MUAHAHAHAHA

**EMILY**

SUP MOGAN! KAWYN! so, since we suck at writing scripts, ya'll are gonna help with our skits (and hopefully be help, we mean write the majority?) AND SINCE WE LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH AND SHIT, we're gonna make you join our shit

so...we need a name still...

and i'm gonna add ya'll to our google docs for the shit

**KALYN**

oh

okayyy

when is this being written?

(we had sushi and pasta and milkshakes)

(low-quality food, but gooood milkshakes)

write the majority? I don't even know what all it's about...

I could offer suggestions...

I still have that crack fic to write...

Should I include Key and Onew in the fic? Who should they be paired with? Or should I ignore them? Or have them but without being shipped with someone in Homestuck?

(I like Minho/Sollux, btw, ha)

**JESSICA**

They should be paired with someone too, should we just stick with the trolls then?

trolls and shinee?

**KALYN**

if you like

**JESSICA**

hmmm, we have 9 other trolls to choose from

**EMILY**

yay!

but, back to this shit=we have ideas and shit up on google docs

**JESSICA**

teehee, Eridan should try to get with all of them, since that is totally in character for him

**EMILY**

it'd be forever

*creepy face*

what were the other questions?

**KALYN**

I can see Eridan trying to get with all of them lawl

So...Shinee on a meteor?

**EMILY**

hello?

h-hello?

**KALYN**

What other questions?

**EMILY**

h-h-hello?

yours

about our shit?

**JESSICA**

can we work on this now it'll take less time

**KALYN**

Work on what?

Ah!

**EMILY**

your fan fic?

**JESSICA**

the crack fic

**EMILY**

I'M JUST LETTING THEM NOW SO WE DON'T FORGET TO TALK ABOUT IT

**JESSICA**

i'm thinking of who Onew and Key should be paired with

**EMILY**

WIAT

*WAIT

**JESSICA**

what?

**EMILY**

never mind

**KALYN**

brainstorm away!

**JESSICA**

guh, emily... =_=

ok

i'm going to see if the other pairs just come to me like Minho and Sollux

doesn't seem to be the case though XD

**KALYN**

Just sit there and hope something happens?

lol

**JESSICA**

mmm, that's typically how it goes

**KALYN**

Morgan says it would be funny if they were ALL pining for Key

**JESSICA**

hahahahahahahaha

**KALYN**

Kelsey agrees

**JESSICA**

yes!

see, i was thinking that Key wouldn't have one person...

which was partly why i was having trouble

**KALYN**

And Key rejects all of them. "Sorry I have a kid."

**JESSICA**

teehee

**EMILY**

ha

**JESSICA**

now Onew...

Tavros, for their shared love of chicken

**KALYN**

YESSSSSSSS

**EMILY**

tee hee

**KALYN**

Tavros protects chicken, and Onew eats it

**EMILY**

lurv it!

**KALYN**

Tavros will be horrified!

**JESSICA**

hmmm, would they be kismeses then?

**KALYN**

yes, because it is crack and Tavros would never in real life have a true kismesis

**EMILY**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

true

**KALYN**

okay so Tavros/Onew, Gamzee/Taemin (how the fuck will that work?), Terezi/Jonghyun, and Sollux/Minho. And Key/everybody/nobody/Eridan?

**JESSICA**

I'm excited ^^

**EMILY**

so excite!

**JESSICA**

gah, who knows how Gamzee Taemin would work!

hmmm

any ideas? lol

**KALYN**

MOAR BRAINSTORM

**EMILY**

hmmmm

**JESSICA**

yuuuuuus!

**EMILY**

they are...the craziest?

most naive?

**JESSICA**

are they?

Gamzee is not naive

he's just stoned most of the time

**EMILY**

i mean...like

...

high

**JESSICA**

lololol

**EMILY**

stoned/naive

**JESSICA**

high=/= naive

**EMILY**

if you think about it, it's slightly similar?

**JESSICA**

no...

not with Gamzee anyway

**EMILY**

yes

**JESSICA**

he understands what's going on

and why

**EMILY**

no

**JESSICA**

stoned=chill

**EMILY**

i mean, stoned person+naive person=similiar

**JESSICA**

not naive

still not understanding

**EMILY**

NAIVE=TAEMIN CAUSE HE'S THE YOUNGEST

never fucking mind

**JESSICA**

yes

no, gah!

**KALYN**

hey that could work though

Gamzee refuses to know anything about anything, while Taemin is just generally clueless

**JESSICA**

oh, is that what you meant?

**KALYN**

And maybe Gamzee coerces him into doing pot or something

Sopor*

**JESSICA**

yeah

**EMILY**

mehehehe

**KALYN**

It IS crack though, we're already potentially putting Tavros OOC

**EMILY**

ooc?

**JESSICA**

*snirk* i can just imagine that though

Onew eating chicken in front of Tavros

most maliciously (OOC=out of character)

*almost maliciously

**EMILY**

oh k

**JESSICA**

and then...Tavros snaps?

Sort of like Master Yorgi's "Raging Bull" XD

**KALYN**

YESSSSSS

**JESSICA**

so, how exactly will JonghyunxTerezi work?

**EMILY**

hmmmm

**KALYN**

jonghyunisthisyou

**EMILY**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

lol, well, yeah

but how would it work?

other than that

are we just making them bffls?

**KALYN**

He's not really a coolkid

**KALYN**

More like ...bling?

uhhh

Also he's short?

uhhhhh

hmmmm

They could be bffls, I don't know how to make Terezi romantic to be honest with you

How will I characterize Jonghyun

He's competitive... that could be something. Isn't Terezi pretty competitive too?

**EMILY**

"i think i speak for everyone when i say, i have the weirdest boner"

**KALYN**

true story

**JESSICA**

teehee

**EMILY**

ha

**JESSICA**

Vriska is more competetive than Terezi is

Terezi is kinda mischievous though, isn't she?

**EMILY**

si

**JESSICA**

hmmm, lol, the most i know about Jonghyun is from hello baby XD

he was kinda mischievous there too, wasn't he?

while

*it's been a while

**KALYN**

He is pretty mischievous...we could make them play small pranks and shit together

Just giving everyone else a hard time

Minho/Sollux?

**EMILY**

hmmm

they...both have o's?

**KALYN**

(I think I like the idea of Eridan pining relentlessly after Key XD)

o's...

really.

**EMILY**

in their name!

**KALYN**

uhuh.

**JESSICA**

why is it every time lizzy and i try to show affection towards each other, we end up wrestling? is that the only way we know how to show affection towards each other?

anyway

I haven't a CLUE! how Sollux and Minho would work

it honestly just came to me "Two names...hmmmm... Minho and Sollux." "Ok! Thanks subconscious! "

minho is sporty

sollux is a hacker nerd

and GO!

**KALYN**

I've begun the writing XD Keep brainstorming tho

**JESSICA**

d-do we get to write together? I-I like writing with you

but seriously, haven't a clue with Sollux and Minho

and Emily is giving no input

**EMILY**

I'M GIVING INPUT!

**JESSICA**

lolol

waiting for you to say that

**EMILY**

i'm working on our shit

our other shit

**JESSICA**

ah

so...i'm the only one not working on something productive?

time to change that then!

**EMILY**

fuck yeah

should check google docs!

**JESSICA**

or i can continue this totally sweet comic i had an idea for

it's just a onetime thing

super awesome though

if i can pull it off .

**EMILY**

h'ok

**JESSICA**

K-Kalyn?

she's gone...

**JESSICA**

aw

**EMILY**

…

**JESSICA**

(btw, checkin' out the Hernani thing)

**EMILY**

aaand?

you can write in black...

and do edits and shit like that in your color

**JESSICA**

...

i like the sea of purple

I. Love. Purple

DON'T TRY AND CHANGE ME!

You took away my purple

Give me my purple back!

**EMILY**

MUAHAHAHAHA

i tried to change you

...

you can change it back

**JESSICA**

...

anyway, do you know what Hernani is about?

**EMILY**

wikipedia that bitch

**JESSICA**

?

**EMILY**

h'yes?

**JESSICA**

(why are we still typing this here? Kalyn, Morgan, are you interested in this? lol) how's wikipedia a bitch?

**EMILY**

...

"would you please wikipedia the answer?"

is that better?

**JESSICA**

oh

...k

**EMILY**

h-hello?

**JESSICA**

yo

fed the boys

**EMILY**

oh

**KALYN**

yo

watched Hello Baby

**EMILY**

fun!

**JESSICA**

for inspirations?

+1 inspiration?

**KALYN**

naw, it was just new

MBLAQ

I love Joon so much right now

**JESSICA**

oh

well...

is MBLAQ good? i don't htink i've heard any of their stuff

**KALYN**

they're a bit less popular unfortunately, but I like them

**JESSICA**

any suggestions on a song?

**KALYN**

this is war is the newest single

**JESSICA**

ok

hmmmmm

i dunno

**EMILY**

found the cd

**KALYN**

dunno? oh you're gone. kay.

**JESSICA**

thorry, not gone

just distracted

**KALYN**

aight

I'm on googledocs now suddenly

reading your older document

**JESSICA**

don't know how you got there?

lol

**KALYN**

ah! TL;DR! it is late! I'm stopping now, but I made some suggestions.

**JESSICA**

ok

**KALYN**

working on the avatar one though XD oh yeah

feel free to join me

**EMILY**

there's a documentary about parking valets

**JESSICA**

h'ok (and i totally understand not wanting to read all of it, it's a doozy)

huh

**KALYN**

cool story bro

**JESSICA**

A cooler story no man, woman or child has ever told.

**EMILY**

so...how's that fic coming?

**KALYN**

haha I'll put it up on googledocs

that work?

**EMILY**

sho!

i will fucking murder everything

**KALYN**

I changed my mind, I'm writing it soo fucking beautifully that I want to keep up this style. It's going to be a present to both of you from me. At least until I get writer's block, because I think this is turning out hilarious.

So far.

**EMILY**

hahaha

**KALYN**

If I want to upload it for realz, I'll let you know

**JESSICA**

ooooook...

**KALYN**

I can show you what I have so far if you like!

**(post** **excerpt)**

**EMILY**

so excited for this you have no idea

**JESSICA**

...

Onew=Karkat?

**KALYN**

uhhh sure!

YEAH!

LEADERS!

**EMILY**

NO

TAVROS

**KALYN**

MULTIPLE INTERACTIONS, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF HTIS

THIS*

GOD I'M SO FJCUCKING EXCITED AOINDIOSGN

**JESSICA**

...

what?

nooooo, I meant, Onew and Karkat are in the exact same position, based on what Kalyn just wrote

**KALYN**

yes

they can bond slightly over that, or at least all the other members of each party can talk about each of them behind their backs

**JESSICA**

haha

yes

**KALYN**

Mind if I post more as I make progress, or would you rather have that one teaser I gave you and have the rest when I'm finished?

**JESSICA**

just the teaser...might as well make the rest a surprise, give us something to look forward to

**KALYN**

yay! will do

I don't know if I can finish tonight at this pace, but I'll do as much as I can

**JESSICA**

lol, understood

**KALYN**

It's coming along swimmingly!

I like coming up with flavors for SHINee!

Yay Terezi!

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

want to know their flavors?

eh?

J-Jessica?

**JESSICA**

hmmm, orange, grape, apple, lime, lemon

in that order

**KALYN**

uhhh whut

fruits, nice

um

**JESSICA**

actually, switch the lemon for dragon fruit

**KALYN**

Do you want to know what I'm flavoring them? lol

**JESSICA**

yes

**KALYN**

So far what's been established is Onew is chicken, Minho is Mocha Latte, and Jonghyun is Pineapple

**KALYN**

Taemin will likely be banana milk (or just banana or banana pudding or something like that) and Key will be something like Strawberry Smoothie

**JESSICA**

oh, bahahaha, i see

nice

you /did/ mean literal flavors, right? for Terezi XD nice

**KALYN**

yes

She called them fruity, I thought that would be funny

**JESSICA**

teehee, looking forward to it

**KALYN**

Nao for bed! I've established the Jongezi ship. Think I'll hit Keyridan next!

**JESSICA**

yay

**KALYN**

night!

**JESSICA**

good night!

sleep well

**JESSICA**

NEW HOMESTUCK! BLAAAAAAH

All I want to say right now is that I totally empathize with Jane. If I was in her position, I would probably do the exact same thing XD

**MORGAN**

AH HANG ON!

**EMILY**

OH GOD I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I GET HOME AT 4!

Actually, even longer.

**JESSICA**

nooooooo! Emily!

**EMILY**

I have to job hunt!

**JESSICA**

yeah... me too...

**EMILY**

Hahaha sucks

**JESSICA**

Well, if we plan on moving out in the next year, cash is going to be a god send...sooo...yeah...

**EMILY**

Ich weiß!

**MORGAN**

This is so amazing.

.Amazing.

Like I think Hussie literally just was like "I'm gonna put up several possibilities, and the one that gets the most fan response will be entertained. Fuck yeah."

Also it's Kalyn right now and my crackfic is coming along quite nicely.

**JESSICA**

Woo! But, yeah, i thought that too. Oh, Jake. I would say he's oblivious, but they aren't actually talking to each other, it's all via text. I love Jane's expressions though

**MORGAN**

me too lawl

class time! and Morgan's napping

**JESSICA**

ok, later!

**JESSICA**

Why am I the owner of all those documents?

**MORGAN**

?

hang on

**KALYN**

what documents?

oh you're gone?

okay...

**JESSICA**

sorry, the google docs, i apparently am the owner of all the plays

(went offline, i'll let you know when I leave)

(unless this stops me from talking to you, at which point i will no longer be offline)

**…**

**KALYN**

what the fuck is bucket porn?

there are a couple here with like...nothing in them

is bucket porn a roleplay?

do you want to roleplay?

should I roleplay as bucket 2?

**JESSICA**

lol, emily's ideas

**KALYN**

I could tell

Emily! There's almost nothing in these documents!

I added some shit, but it is also almost nothing!

Yay! I finished one!

No to move on to the other!

Ah I don't feel like German.

**JESSICA**

You are a true master of wit, Miss Laboure

**KALYN**

ALL THE PRINGLE LADIES! ALL THE PRINGLE LADIES! ALL THE PRINGLE LADIES! ALL THE PRINGLE LADIES! ALL THE PRINGLE LADIES! ALL THE PRINGLE LADIES! PUT YOUR CANS UP!

**JESSICA**

bahahahaha

**KALYN**

gotta pee

back

and comfy!

so fucking comfy!

NANLINANLINANLINA!

I love this song

**JESSICA**

lol

it is good

**KALYN**

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, but I'm hard, hard

You know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, what I mean, mean

**JESSICA**

goo go ga ga goo goo ga ga

**KALYN**

whut

alright I'mma try and keep writing crackfic

**JESSICA**

ok!

i should get back to homework

**….**.

**EMILY**

i haven't read this shit

yet

cause spoilers

reading homestuck now

**EMILY**

READ IT

HAD TO DEAL WITH STUPID SHIT

BUT I READ IT ALL

**KALYN**

k

**JESSICA**

we didn't say a whole lot anyway

**KALYN**

ok! back to my crack fic! (now that I've filed my nails down to a manageable size and shape XD)

Feels quite refreshing actually

**JESSICA**

well that's good!

**KALYN**

would you like to hear some snippets?

like one-liners or something?

and you can be left to guess the context?

**JESSICA**

why not?

**KALYN**

"MY N4M3 IS T3R3Z1, 1F 1T 4FF3CTS YOUR D3C1S1ON," she offered.

He supposed it did.

**KALYN**

"I—do you mean to say…I look like a lizard?" Seriously? Reptiles? Did he not get the aquatic theme here?

They didn't call him the hyung whore for nothing.

That's all you get for now

**JESSICA**

lol

"I-do you mean to say...I look like a lizard?" =Eridan?

**KALYN**

mayyyybe...

**JESSICA**

I have seen through your foul plot, vile witch!

**KALYN**

whut?

**JESSICA**

it just felt right at the time .

**KALYN**

why am I a vile witch.

**JESSICA**

like i said, it felt right at the time, i was going to "foul temptress" but that really made no sense...

**JESSICA**

less sense than "vile witch" that is

**EMILY**

you foul temptress

!

**KALYN**

but...why am I a vile witch.

**EMILY**

cause you are a brilliant lover?

**JESSICA**

because i ... i guessed that it was eridan . and you said "maybe" and i assumed i was right, so i saw through your plot? don't take it personally, silly!

**KALYN**

wasn't a plot lol

I wasn't trying to fool you or anything

so your accusation is invalid

**EMILY**

AAAAAAHHHHHHH

**JESSICA**

i never said it was valid .

**KALYN**

But you did say it.

**EMILY**

hi!

**JESSICA**

doesn't mean it was a valid statement

**KALYN**

Then why did you say something invalid.

**EMILY**

hi!

**KALYN**

hello

**…**.

**MORGAN**

anyway, I have a comment on that last Homestuck update, where Jake was all "maybe I could be with Dirk" etc. I wonder if AH is just teasing all of us.

and also, Jane's reaction confused me.

I mean, I know we were led to believe she liked Jake just like everybody else seems to, and then she reacted all like "what? no! I don't feel that way about you at all!"

But, and maybe I'm reading it wrong, do you think it might be possible if she just, like... chickened out? but then, when he was talking about himself leading Dirk on accidentally she was all "WHOOPS!"

so, perhaps roxy really did misunderstand Jane completely...

LAWL i just misread "situation" as "tituation" which is infinitely more hilarious

still reading today's update... i think i was right about jane...

SPOILER!1111

ALLEERRRRTTT!

**MORGAN**

BEEELLLLOOOOWWW!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

jane just told jake to go have some babies with dirk

LAWLING!

and jake's response to that is even more hilarious

**JESSICA**

Ok, Jane was definitely chickening out, Roxy didn't misunderstand anything

That's why she was berating herself

and I know! Jake and Dirk babies XD

Anyway, I totally understand where Jane is coming from here, I would probably do the same thing. She was put on the spot and she hadn't mentally prepared for it. If she had been the one to confront Jake it would have been different for her. All of the advice she gave Jake was exactly what she /should/ have done. And she knew it.

**JESSICA**

(berating seen here: /?s=6&p=006493 )

And here she's like 'Why the hell did I say now?" /?s=6&p=006488

**…**

**KALYN**

Also I said this before, but I think Jane/Jake are inevitable, but I also said that I think all the other kids would get their chance with Jake before that happens, just because he has all those suitors.

So this is really great.

I fucking love Jake's mindset on all of this though. XD

**….**

**JESSICA**

(btw, Hussie is hilarious ""Do you read dirty homestuck confessions?"

No.

But, full disclosure?

I am its sole author.

")

**…**.

**JESSICA**

""Now that Jake and Jane are a official non-couple is Jake and Dirk going to be a couple and what will happen with Jane and Roxy?"

I couldn't quite follow your question because I was too distracted by drawing Jane and Roxy making out for the next 500 pages." Hussie's such a tease!

**EMILY**

hahaha that's hilarious!

**MORGAN**

totally. I think he might be teasing all of us with the dirk/jake possibility too...

white queen is also a bamf

**MORGAN**

Jessica! (kalyn) SOMEONE WHO LIKED ONE OF MY MACROS HAS THE SAME ICON AS YOU their name is shitletsbesugoi

**JESSICA**

lol, well, i did get it from MasterYorgi's video, she might even have the original, who knows? lol

hmmm, might have to look that up, see who did the original comic...

**JESSICA**

well, it's originally from .com .

but yeah! cool

**EMILY**

white queen truly is bamf-like

**JESSICA**

indeed

**….**.

**KALYN**

I think it is raining.

No wait.

No, that's just the freezer.

nm

**….**.

**JESSICA**

Oh my god, Maplehoof's adventure is so cute!

(the song that is)

**…**

**JESSICA**

Oh my god D: You know those people who get turned on by inflated stomaches and junk?

totally stumbled across one on deviantart

it was weeeeeeird

anyway, it doesn't seem like there is much to this last Homestuck update

**EMILY**

nope

.com/watch?v=wNa9gYlKq6s

**JESSICA**

Soooo, I would just like to say that I believe Roxy is going to be the group's ectobiologist. She already knows what to do with it and everything.

Also, that void thing is kind of interesting, how everything blacks out. Didn't UU say she couldn't see their session or something?

**EMILY**

i do say that i agree

**KALYN**

funny, I don't remember Rose's scarf disappearing

poor Roxy, she doesn't realize that the "tri generational" reunion isn't her resurrecting her mom, she's just meeting Rose from the other session. Which is still great, but man. Sad.

"in this universe the pony is too small for some reason" hahahahahahahaha

y tho!

**MORGAN**

yeah, UU can't see their session pretty much from the point roxy enters it, i believe is what was said...

**…**.

**KALYN**

SPOILERS ahead: so Roxy's modus makes her break bottles to get stuff out of it, which is what Rose had to do to get into the medium. little connection there. Also, we're all clear on the machine things right? the whole B1/B2 switch she didn't understand? Just wanna clarify before I try to explain something everyone already knows.

**….**.

**MORGAN**

so that frigglish-jaspersprite update was pretty much amazing.

**…**

**EMILY**

but uh, i got the update

i just...didn't get the flash?

**MORGAN**

oh?

what do you mean? like you didn't see it or you didn't understand it?

**EMILY**

things went too fast

**MORGAN**

oh it was just a recap of Jasper's experiences

**EMILY**

oh

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I think the only new part was at the very end when he was on the ship. Although it's nice to know where Nanna is XD

**MORGAN**

haha yeah Jade pretty much got the whole medium on that boat with them

saved all the characters from post-scratch obscurity!

**…**

**JESSICA**

:P

How long has that been there? http:/s3(dot)amazonaws(dot)com/data(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tumblr_m00ui9Rfua1r5ubkfo1_1280(dot)gif?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1330393044&Signature=hLCbwJ%2Bx1fNLFfswf0TEM0Jpw%2BE%3D

**MORGAN**

hello dante?

I don't even know what that is...

is it significant?

**JESSICA**

It's on MSPA

Hussie posted it on his tumblr

**MORGAN**

haha yeah I see that.

**JESSICA**

didn't say anything about it

**MORGAN**

uh why?

**JESSICA**

I DON'T KNOW!

**MORGAN**

just...what's the point?

**JESSICA**

i'l look again

all that accompanied it waas "" NOTHING!

**MORGAN**

huh

ok

**JESSICA**

Oh god, looks like it has to do with Dante Basco

**MORGAN**

WHAT

**JESSICA**

but you'd only know that if you followed his tweets and tumblr, luckily he has some tweets on the side of his pagge

http:/mspandrew(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/18106704483/ok-i-answered-some-more-questions

just look at the side

**MORGAN**

Randomly relevant to me, since last night I was just watching some Hook video clips and was like "Dante Basco fuck yes" with the Rufio thing

**JESSICA**

should be on the top

lol

**MORGAN**

oh god those tweets rofl

**JESSICA**

yeah, lol

**MORGAN**

that is so amazing oh my god yes

**JESSICA**

eeeyup

omigod, it's a conga line of hussies http:/twitter(dot)com/#!/andrewhussie

**MORGAN**

.god. DanteBasco'stumblrURLisdefinitely. rufiozuko. tumblr. com

**JESSICA**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

is that really him?

**EMILY**

woah

ready and sleep!

but not now

MOGAN

**MORGAN**

yes it is I promise you, click the link on that tweet

**EMILY**

MOGAN

**MORGAN**

Kalyn, sorry

sup?

**EMILY**

oh

awkward

...

i got a 91% on my speech

**MORGAN**

k

nice

**JESSICA**

WOOO!

**EMILY**

i rocked that fucker

gotta second one next week

**JESSICA**

Spoilers are coming

So, Roxy shoots guns

She has Dersian exiles living around her house where Jake has lusii

I guess there's not much else to say

**MORGAN**

we're trying to ponder why she has carapices living around her house

**KALYN**

I thought meteors.

Like, you know how during the reckoning, some people (Wanderers) hop aboard some meteors and they ended up on their (can I call it a host planet?) a few hundred million years in the future and proceeded to influence the session via time-transcending communicative technology?

Well I'm betting that during the reckoning for this session, a fuckload of carapaces hopped aboard some meteors and probably ended up all over the fucking place, including the present time.

Dunno where the island Lusii came from though, but we've got the Condesce's influence here as well so...oh wait, Dersian exiles? Lusii? Condesce is on Derse! Are these carapaces sort of like what I thought the lusii could be for Jake?

Like a way to sort of train Roxy for what the game has to offer?

She's a thief, right? (Or rather, rogue, which is like a thief but who steals for good. Roxy is the Robin Hood of Homestuck.)

And she did say they just wanted food and were scavenging. She'll probably pull a Robin Hood to get out of this situation she's currently in.

You watch. She'll do it. That's what's gonna happen here, I know it.

Fuck yeah! Called ambulance bill pay, got my insurance info to them! I feel accomplished!

btw, MSPA is now telling Dante, "You're doing it, man"

just checked his tumblr, he's caught up, omfg I neeeeeeeeeed to read all his posts right now, so brb while I go do that

**KALYN**

Here's a good one!:"April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain." -American sports legend, Charles Barkley

Did Charles Barkley really say that?

Am I really reading this?

What is Andrew writing about?

**KALYN**

And another:I'm laughing… I don't know if it's Homestuck, my reaction to Homestuck or your reactions to my reactions of Homestuck.

Yeah, this whole thing is weird.

**KALYN**

oh so things didn't make sense to him because he wasn't reading the "pesterings" and so he had to go allll the way back to read them all!

**KALYN**

:I think I'm losing my mind… I'm actually understanding things here but at the same time I still don't get it. Andrew, how ever you created this piece of art, I'm understanding it's brilliant, it just might be too brilliant for my mind… I can't believe I'm rereading this stuff.

And yes, I saw the "Hello Dante"… I greeted him on twitter… I have to admit, that's pretty dope. I wonder if he makes this first part so hard to get as an obstacle for those not worthy to get the story… a somewhat right of passage… maybe I'm just rambling and have no idea what I'm talking about… Back to reading.

**KALYN**

oh ok, so "caught up" meant he caught back up to where he was before after reading the pesterlogs

**KALYN**

this is beautiful:I'm caught up… I can't believe I had to go back and reread everything… I guess that's par for the course here in Homestuck. I was just playing beats on the MPC.

Things are starting to shape up around here… Thanks for all the help so far. My eyelids are starting to get heavy again and looks like I may have to stop for the evening. My inbox is so full, I want to go through it and answer some questions some time.

You know, this whole Homestuck fiasco, is one of the most unique and strange things that has happend to me. One, I've never read anything remotely close to this, I've never read a webcomic in my life. Also, I've never read anything with a couple thousand people kind of guiding me along the way, this whole experience is mind blowing! I mean the author greeted me on the screen and entering this whole world that I had no idea even existed a few days ago feels like stepping into a new dimension, and with tumblr, I can feel you guys all here with me… I don't know, it's late, I'm tired, my mind is tired… I'm Homestuck.

**KALYN**

I am following him. no doubt about that. like, I thought I loved him before just because of zuko and rufio (love how he named his tumblr URL after them) but this...this is...the best thing that has ever fucking happened.

FUCK YEAH DANTE BASCO!

I'm laughcrying from this, it's so beautiful, holy fuck.

I love you, Dante.

-Dante's earned a new fangirl-

**JESSICA**

Kalyn, that was a whole lot of partially nonsensical ramblings that make little sense...some of it does, but the rest, where you are fangirling it up...yeah, that made little sense

Yeah, you were falling asleep, that makes sense

**KALYN**

I was copy/pasting some of Dante's tumblr posts

so anything after a : is his words

**JESSICA**

what parts were him?

some was obvious

was it everything after a : ?

oh...

anyway, another theory as to why the exiles are all ready on Earth, could be because they fled Derse.

**KALYN**

everything after a :

yeah I thought that too with the Condesce connection

since I thought she and/or LE could have stuck Lusii there as well

**JESSICA**

The Condesce usurped the Black Queen, and the Dersians still loyal to her either fled or were kicked out

also, you know what you could have done to lower the confusion?

**KALYN**

actually said "these are Dante's tumblr posts"?

**JESSICA**

there is this nifty little button underneath your right pinky, it has two dashes right next to each other, and then down to the right it has one little lone dash

they are an amazing invention intended to let readers know that you aren't using your own words

XP

**KALYN**

you're wrong

it's to the right of my right pinky

XP

**JESSICA**

oh? i am?

...

well...

shift you fingers over to the right one space

**KALYN**

mpeoy

pm ,u tohjy [omlu

(that's fingers-shifted-right-one-space-ese for "now it's on my right pinky")

**JESSICA**

i totally understood that you know

**KALYN**

I'm sure you did haha

JESSICA

oy trs;;u odm

yjsy jstf yp imfrtdysmf

upi kidy jsbr yp mpy upid yjr / wipyr niyypm/

**KALYN**

it really isn'thathard to understand you just have to not yous the ... quote button

why did you spell "use" that way?

hahahahahahahahaha

**JESSICA**

why not?

**KALYN**

OK

**JESSICA**

you know, depending on how you look at it, OK is either a man, or a face

**KALYN**

hahaha I see that

it could also be

"okay"

class time

**JESSICA**

wait, it can mean okay as well? whaaaaaat?/

anyway, reading through Dante's stuff too

**EMILY**

OK also kinda looks like it could be a sideways japanese letter

**JESSICA**

What? More like Korean...

**EMILY**

oh...ok

some kinda asian

**JESSICA**

Well, there are no Japanese characters that look like that

RACIST!

**EMILY**

…

**JESSICA**

You think all Asian languages use the same letter system?

**EMILY**

it LOOKS like it could be one

no

i know they don't

**JESSICA**

lol

**EMILY**

I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING WORK

**JESSICA**

Okey dokey, read today's homestuck

**EMILY**

AH SHIZ!

**JESSICA**

I thought GCat was going to do something totally sweet and awesome, but instead he screwed Roxy over, at least for now

as far as we know

I was like "Fuck yes! Strider and Roxy are going to meet! " But then the terrible truth revealed itself

**EMILY**

so sad

well

he might just plug it back in

**JESSICA**

I don't think GCat would kill Roxy though

**EMILY**

roxy gotta get out sometime

although i don't think they'll meet for a while

**JESSICA**

No, probably not

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

and I was just thinking about this, and it might be kinda obvious, but Roxy's the only one who can really travel between those windows, isn't she? Or, rather, Heroes of Void and Space can.

**EMILY**

uhhh

i dunno

**JESSICA**

but the way they travel is different

Roxy goes between the two windows and it's all black: a void.

**EMILY**

yeah

makes sense

**JESSICA**

when Jade traveled through, they went across the, what was it, the green yard? the yellow yard?

something like that

(just wanted to get my thoughs all out there )

**EMILY**

i don't remember any yard...

oh well!

**JESSICA**

that's where Hussie leveled them up

**EMILY**

oh...

**…**

**KALYN**

The yard was the yardstick Hussie used to stick between the windows

Also, there was no Robin Hooding just then

And Dirk should probably plug in that window

**EMILY**

shit kalyn

now i'm on omegle

thanks a lot

**JESSICA**

Nope, no robin hooding, but definitely some voiding

**KALYN**

bwahahahahaha omegle today was awesome

**EMILY**

uhhh

**KALYN**

btw guys I seriously recommend following Dante on tumblr, since he's like...reading Homestuck every night and posting his thoughts about it

**JESSICA**

i am

**EMILY**

not


	31. UUuuUUuuUUuuUUuuUUuu

This is some analysis (mostly of UU/uu) supplemented by stuff I found funny. And because I don't wanna be a name dropper when we're talking about stuff like this, I changed some names in a certain conversation (into infinitely more interesting ones, because why not have fun while I'm at it?).

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

I love the Feferi counterpart troll already!

I have a feeling she's gonna be a total bamf and probably the only female character I would totally bang haha

I mean

just

look at her!

oh and spoilers btw ha

Morgan brought up an interesting point though concerning this session's correspondence with the beta trolls session

namely, how?

the alpha trolls could correspond with the beta kids presumably because they created that universe after winning their own session

they were further connected because of Bec Noir creating the rift between the two sessions

**JESSICA**

true

**KALYN**

but how have the alpha kids been able to have these encounters with the beta trolls?

**JESSICA**

and she kinda looks like a punk

**KALYN**

is it gonna form some reacharound where the alpha kids end up creating the beta troll universe or something?

**JESSICA**

i've suggested that before .

**KALYN**

even though...the trolls seem to know something they don't, since they're just greeting them while the kids are like being generally befuddled by them.

**JESSICA**

it's almost like a figure eight

**KALYN**

yeah, very much so

bet sn0wman has something to do with this

ha

**JESSICA**

schweet

**KALYN**

'cept she's dead now

she was...kind of like the scratch, wasn't she?

**JESSICA**

sorry, in the middle of something, i'll come up with better responses later!

**KALYN**

you kill her, you kill the universe

that's fine, I'm just on a think tangent

Also, this is very much obvious right now, but just for the sake of connecting dots and filling in gaps

**KALYN**

Dirk and Roxy totally know a lot about their session, the Condesce, and her involvement in the (apparent) deaths of their guardians because of her rule on Derse and the fact that Dirk has been awake on Derse the whole time and Roxy...sleepwalks a lot on Derse, but does she dream? Maybe she gets more knowledge from those Dersian exiles in her lab.

I think these trolls are like complete opposites from their alpha counterparts. Vriska's counterpart was really kind of preppy and looked a little retro, and Fef's counterpart is totally punk rock rather than all girly and pretty.

**…**

**MORGAN**

AH HOLY SHIT! *SPOILERSSPOILERSSPOILERS!*

bitch is a flash stepper

and ...

and... she... she's... i ... don't do it! DX

actually, I'm a bit confused about the trolls right now so... my ramblings are completely incoherent...

and it's good to see that they have the same typing quirks, otherwise that might be tedious as fuck.

**EMILY**

UU doesn't

**KALYN**

UU's like a different troll. The fabled "thirteenth troll" I think? Yeah, something like that.

Why is she trying to put Roxy to sleep? Or knock her out or whatever? I definitely think that the trolls are all like complete opposites of their counterparts. Because Vriska's counterpart just smiled and waved. This chick's attacking!

Granted, they're also in the void right now. Don't know why their paths crossed, but time and space are pretty much obsolete in the void, so it's acceptable. (It's kinda like a rule breaker, huh. Screw continuity, we're in the void!) But yeah, we don't know how far in the game this chick is and what would drive her to do this, so hey. Karkat hated the fuck out of the kids at first because of their effect on the trolls' session, and now he's pretty warmed up to them. Guess we'll see.

**JESSICA**

But she's smiling

Don't forget this is basically the Condesce XD

Anyway, she's smiling, so i don't think she is attacking out of hate, unless she's batshit insane.

Although, I'm going to call it right now. She's messing with Roxy. That's what I'm going to call. That is my bet.

**KALYN**

'Cept the Condesce is the Alpha version of her, with all the war-ness that Doc Scratch poured on Alternian culture. But yeah it does make some sense, 'cept how would you explain the likes of Mindfang? She was more like Vriska than it seems that Beta troll. IDK

I think she's messing with her too

**JESSICA**

lol, i know she won't have the exact same personality

hmmm

never mind . i was going to say something, but then I realized it was a little silly and mostly pointless

**KALYN**

oh?

**JESSICA**

yeah, it's nothing x.x

**….**

**EMILY**

so, i was gonna get some homestuck in before i left so i could get at least some of your SPOILERS

but, i guess i'm gonna do it now

SPOILERS!

so, this uu is probably UU's sister (seeing as how dirk says sister)

and they have kinda similar typing quirks

the capitalizations are just switched around

FUCK

or

that could be UU and dirk is talking about a different person as "sister"

and UU is the one that goes gamzee crazy for some reason and only contacts dirk

the 2nd one is my first thought, but this uu has a different sign

so...

those are my thoughts now you get to tell me how i'm wrong!

**KALYN**

I think it's two people, but the question is what session they each belong to. It's probably good that UU has a counterpart, since all the other players do as well, but we didn't see any UU during Hivebent. So do both of these trolls belong to the Beta troll session? Or is one or both of them in a separate session? Or did one of them participate in the Alpha troll session but in a less obvious way? (I don't think this one's possible, they would have to have entered the medium with a server player and all that.)

Here's a crazy idea. Humans "pester" and trolls "troll" but these guys "cheer" and "jeer". So are they a different species? Do you think these two are playing in their own session? They only talked about four universes, but they certainly could just be like outsiders looking in, much like readers of a book series or something who know the story and are heavily invested. These guys are like fans who want to interact with their favorite characters or something (since UU does draw fanart and write fanfiction). Just a thought.

**KALYN**

second UU seems more like an anti-fan though...

seems somewhat like Karkat with the whole "you fucked up big time...the amount of time you people"-what's that supposed to mean?-"waste, it's unbelievable to me" yaddayadda

first UU is based on the Homestuck fanbase. Second UU is based on the anti fanbase, people who hate Homestuck, because I notice UU2 is totally complaining about shit people who hate Homestuck are constantly complaining about. Fanbase included.

UU1 is on Prospit, UU2 on Derse...but no Derse we've seen...So I'm thinking either Beta troll session had 14 players, OR they're in their own session.

If it's the latter, there's the question of why they can communicate with the Alpha kids. Also, the pesterlogs were "ancient transcripts" so...is time actually playing a role here? or is it irrelevant again? what universe are they in?

I do like the Gamzee theory though, haha. Only thing is Gamzee kept his symbol, name, and typing color. It was the quirk that changed.

**EMILY**

Which is why I don't believe that theory as much.

**JESSICA**

Can I just throw this out there before I finish reading this mess of "Who is UU's counterpart" please? That is probably UU's brother, and he was the one she was talking about having issues and stuff. "Your sister was saying you were having some doubts playing," said Dirk. Guys, it's not that hard... He also reminds me of Karkat, getting so angry at the humans after watching/reading all about them and junk. You guys are getting confusing up there

**JESSICA**

Keep it simple stupid

I will say this, I wouldn't be surprised if UU has a split personality disorder

I don't think they are a different species, because UU had troll horns when we actually got to see her. Giant freaking troll horns, but troll horns none the less.

She also drew Dirk's god tier with fairy wings, something that the trolls have due to their basically being bugs anatomy (deal with the terrible sentence/grammar D:)

So, UndyingUmbrage has the same relationship with the kids as Karkat did only without the silly "going back in time to mess with you" tactic (which i think made Karkat begin to like them more, because, with John, he was expecting Kar to talk to him again)

The idea that UU and uu are based off the fan and anti-fan base makes sense though

but i don't know if that means they are necessarily from another timeline

There could have been 14 members, and then they had issues because of that, and in the troll alpha session they were cut out. they could have been more of a liability than an asset to either the game or to Doc Scratch/Lord English

Soooo, yeah

that's what i have to say about that, silly people overcomplicating things 9.9

**EMILY**

Pretty much what you just said were my two theories just in different words

**JESSICA**

ok, it was confusing up there and getting really complicated

**KALYN**

What do you mean it's not that hard? I don't think we were having an issue about who they were in relation to each other.

I don't think we were being overcomplicated either.

The evidence I think would be if the kids start talking to other trolls and instead of "trolling" the also "cheer" or "jeer" or whatever else there can be.

But I don't think it's necessary yet to rule out the idea that they're in their own session, since they're almost like on the outside looking into this whole "four universes come together" thing.

Even if they're also trolls.

But yeah my guess is beta trolls, and there were 14 members of the first one. Little weird though how we have a pair of twins (I'm going with that, since they're usually the same age) in this session and neither of them show up in the alpha trolls session.

**JESSICA**

I think what happened was I got on and was like "Hopy shit! Words D:"

**KALYN**

Now you know how Emily feels.

**EMILY**

YEAH

**JESSICA**

*cough*

**EMILY**

yes?

**JESSICA**

I would like to apologize for thinking that UU and uu having their own session was ridiculous

BAAAAAH

(imma sheep)

(a very angry sheep, but a sheep nonetheless)

there's not a whole lot that happened this time, but some interesting tidbits i guess?

sooo, sorta spoilers up there?

The first sentence I say probably could be

**EMILY**

i'm just all sorta confused with this update

not like ya'll could help confused

more like, how this is gonna go confused

so, there's only 2 players in this session UU and uu

and we've seen vriska counter part and fef counter part

what about the other trolls?

**JESSICA**

they're coming, I'm sure

**EMILY**

kinda wanna know what tav and gamzee counter part trolls are like

**JESSICA**

btw, on Yaldaboath .org/wiki/Demiurge

**EMILY**

but what about the 2 players?

**JESSICA**

page also has Timaeus

ooooh, good point! Rufio (or the animal tamer dude, whatever)! How will he be? Will he be super angry and tough?

**EMILY**

will he be raging bull?

**JESSICA**

lol, hopefully XD

from that wiki page: Now the archon (ruler) who is weak has three names. The first name is Yaltabaoth, the second is Saklas ("fool"), and the third is Samael. And he is impious in his arrogance which is in him. For he said, "I am God and there is no other God beside me," for he is ignorant of his strength, the place from which he had come

**JESSICA**

More: He is Demiurge and maker of man, but as a ray of light from above enters the body of man and gives him a soul, Yaldabaoth is filled with envy; he tries to limit man's knowledge by forbidding him the fruit of knowledge in paradise. The Demiurge, fearing lest Jesus, whom he had intended as his Messiah, should spread the knowledge of the Supreme God, had him crucified by the Romans. At the consummation of all things all light will return to the Pleroma. But Yaldabaoth, the Demiurge, with the material world, will be cast into the lower depths.

**JESSICA**

Even More:

In Pistis Sophia Yaldabaoth has already sunk from his high estate and resides in Chaos, where, with his forty-nine demons, he tortures wicked souls in boiling rivers of pitch, and with other punishments

This is interesting because of the whole "12" thing: one of the twelve angels to come "into being [to] rule over chaos and the [underworld]". He comes from heaven**,** his "face flashed with fire and whose appearance was defiled with blood". Nebro creates six angels in addition to the angel Saklas to be his assistants. These six in turn create another twelve angels "with each one receiving a portion in the heavens."

**EMILY**

ummmm

english please?

**JESSICA**

x.x

ok

let's see

**EMILY**

:)

**JESSICA**

this is Christian lore (gnostic=early christian stuff apparently, far as i can tell)

a demiurge=creator of the universe

but Yaldaboath created the /material/ world while God created the immaterial, apparently

Material=evil

Immaterial=good

**JESSICA**

it's a wee bit confusing, since he is a demiurge, but the definition they used was Plato's and I'm pretty sure the times don't line up

nevermind

Gnosticism presents a distinction between the highest, unknowable God and the demiurgic "creator" of the material. Several systems of Gnostic thought present the Demiurge as antagonistic to the will of the Supreme Being: his act of creation occurs in unconscious semblance of the divine model, and thus is fundamentally flawed, or else is formed with the malevolent intention of entrapping aspects of the divine in materiality. Thus, in such systems, the Demiurge acts as a solution to the problem of evil.

**EMILY**

...

**JESSICA**

he's sort of like the actual satan, from the looks of things

**EMILY**

think i might read that when it's not 1:30 and i can fully concentrate

**JESSICA**

satan was cast down, but Yaldaboath is the real guy who get's under God's skin

But "Yaldaboathists" just doesn't roll as well

i want to copy and paste the shit out of this article because it's really interesting, but i don't know what else actually applies

it's just so goddamn interesting!

**…**

**MORGAN**

to the whole demiurge thing, i read a bit of those links, and plato's timaeus thing, and i see a connection btw the evil material world/being and lord english, fo sho.

**MORGAN**

oh yeah, i was gonna tell yall like... earlier... but remember that guy who works at p-cafe who said i looked beautiful that day? Well, last night, as he was making my honey chicken sandwich, he drew a heart with the mustard.

**EMILY**

FUCK YEAH!

**MORGAN**

:D

**EMILY**

SEXY MOGAN!

**MORGAN**

fuck yes?

I AM SEXEH!

**EMILY**

FUCK YES

FUCK YEAH

**MORGAN**

lawl emily, this is intelligent

**EMILY**

FUCK YEAH

i am a very intelligent person!

**MORGAN**

but yeah, that's my little story. I am incredibly flattered by this.

**EMILY**

yay!

**…**

**EMILY**

welll

i bought the posterboard for the flow chart

**MORGAN**

WOOT WOOOOOOT!

i am excite

**EMILY**

psh whatevs

**MORGAN**

i am over a tenth of the way to getting a sweet pair of headphones from

woot

**EMILY**

pimpin!

**MORGAN**

at this rate, i will have them by... the end of september

**EMILY**

excite!

**MORGAN**

but realistically, because i only ever actually get coke products at college, it'll probably be more like... in about a year.

and a month

**EMILY**

yeah

hi

**MORGAN**

hey

sorry, i was planning

something

**EMILY**

sup?

**MORGAN**

nm

**EMILY**

HOW DARE YOU?

**MORGAN**

you?

waht

**EMILY**

i'm watching videos from the starkid space tour

**MORGAN**

sweet

**EMILY**

how dare you be...planning...something...

**MORGAN**

i know somebody who went to it...

**EMILY**

whaaaaa?

**MORGAN**

ye

she's in my history of media arts class

**EMILY**

can i beat them up?

**MORGAN**

names ... stephanie i think

no

**EMILY**

why?

**MORGAN**

well, i don't think it's actually currently possible

so you literally cannot

**EMILY**

but

please?

**MORGAN**

bbut ... maybe if you can find your way to boston, and then figure out who she is yourself, then maybe

i mean, if you can do that, then you will officially have my blessing to beat her up

**EMILY**

YAY!

**MORGAN**

because clearly, if you will have gotten that far, then there will be literally nothing i could do to stop you.

**EMILY**

YAY!

**MORGAN**

i feel like i should change my profile pic soon...

**EMILY**

oh?

what's it from?

**MORGAN**

that one's from december

which isn't too long ago... but still

**EMILY**

oh

you should have one that has me in it

**MORGAN**

for some reason, being at emerson makes me feel like i should change my pic more frequently

i don't know if i have any pics on here with you in them, not recent ones at least

**EMILY**

(you should have one that has me in it)

YOU SHOULD!

WHO CARES IF IT'S RECENT!

**MORGAN**

but... it's my profile

which means it's about me

**EMILY**

so

**MORGAN**

not you

**EMILY**

:(

**MORGAN**

and i feel the need to have a recent pic

because i go to a communications school

and things like that... sort of... matter... somewhat

i just want a recent one, okay?

**EMILY**

fine then

i'm gonna take a picture with someone you don't know and it'll be my profile pic for fuckin ever!

**MORGAN**

alrighty then

you have my official blessing to do that

**EMILY**

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

i will do it tonight in fact

going to see a play

**MORGAN**

ok

i cannot wait

**EMILY**

MUAHAHAHHAHA

YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE SO SAD

**MORGAN**

and i will be looking forward to seeing your new profile picture

with your new best friend

**MORGAN**

whom i don't know

and neither do you

**EMILY**

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**MORGAN**

(or do you?)

**EMILY**

i know her

you don't

**MORGAN**

seriously, that would be great if you took a pic with a stranger and made it your profile pic

**EMILY**

she might be julia and my's FUCK? nre roommate

**MORGAN**

but yes

**EMILY**

*new

**MORGAN**

uh...

that was only slightly coherent

**EMILY**

k "hey random stranger, can i take a picture with you?"

**MORGAN**

tourettes?

**EMILY**

yeah

but...do you know what i meant?

**MORGAN**

uh... i'm not sure

**JESSICA**

More words D:

**MORGAN**

pointless words

**EMILY**

the random fuck was cause the terrible grammar

**MORGAN**

don't even bother reading them

except for the part about my "suitor"

you can go read that part

it's cute

oh.

**EMILY**

didn't even realize that we were talking on this one...

**MORGAN**

haha, really? I specifically came to this one... so that's probably why

**EMILY**

oh...

**JESSICA**

lol

well, i read it all anyway

Morgan, guess what?

**EMILY**

lawl

**JESSICA**

You're not going to guess

**MORGAN**

what

what

**JESSICA**

I'm drinking a coke!

**MORGAN**

woah!

**JESSICA**

i give code now

**MORGAN**

i can haz coad?

**JESSICA**

under the cap?

**MORGAN**

yay!

**EMILY**

I'M NOT DRINKING ANYTHING

**MORGAN**

yeah

!

**EMILY**

i was drinking a dasani and there wasn't a cod

FUCK YOU

AND FUCK YOUR SEXUAL TENSION

**JESSICA**

**(sends code)**

**MORGAN**

wait... but dasani is a coke product

**JESSICA**

"A cod"?

ike a cod piece?

**EMILY**

CODE

CODE

CODE

I MEANT CODE

**JESSICA**

lololololol

**MORGAN**

what?

oh

nvm

(now i have 119 points yaya!)

**MORGAN**

apparently yaya instead of yay

**JESSICA**

wooo!

**MORGAN**

which makes me think of...

**EMILY**

69?

A SEX TAPE

MY FLOW CHART?

A BABY?

**JESSICA**

?

**EMILY**

TAVROS?

BLANKETS?

THE UNO MAVERICKS?

**JESSICA**

buckets?

**EMILY**

trying to guess what it made her think of

A COAT

WINTER

FUZE

CALENDARS

YOUR YOUNGER YEARS

Y'S?

**MORGAN**

wow, i went to fetch a link, but these are too hilarious

**EMILY**

HOW Q IS A DRUNK LETTER

what link?

**MORGAN**

lawl, i havent sent it yet

cause i was reading your guesses

i like "your younger years"

but no

**EMILY**

fuck that shit

**MORGAN**

here

**MORGAN**

.com/watch?v=PChUEyZTQuM&ob=av2n

**MORGAN**

it all goes back to kpop

**EMILY**

yeah i liked mine better

**MORGAN**

it was more creative i suppose

**…..**

**EMILY**

food want

want food bad?

no no

*know

**MORGAN**

kalyn just came back with food

**EMILY**

john friend here

emily no want meet john friend

emily leave in hour

emily go see play

emily no want see play

play long

**MORGAN**

play long?

**EMILY**

yes

play long

emily no want see long play

play about 3 hours

fuck long play

play maybe depressing

**MORGAN**

lawl, so when kalyn went down, she got a philly cheese steak just like i did, and when she asked for pepperjack, kevin (whose name i have just now learned) was all "she wanted pepperjack too"

about me btw... lawl

anyway, i'm done talking about myself

starting NOW

**EMILY**

oh god

**MORGAN**

what

**EMILY**

john friend daughter too?

fuck this shiz

emily food want

**MORGAN**

john friend daughter with?

**EMILY**

yeah

**MORGAN**

fuck dat

how old jfd?

**EMILY**

fuck that fuck yeah

**MORGAN**

h-hello?

**EMILY**

yeah

**MORGAN**

how old?

**EMILY**

i dunno

emily wonder why caitie no text

**MORGAN**

estimate?

**EMILY**

psh

i've only heard her voice

**MORGAN**

oh

vague range?

**EMILY**

yeah

**MORGAN**

uh...

**EMILY**

yes?

**MORGAN**

i mean vague age range guess?

not vocal range?

**EMILY**

yeah

wait

fuck

i don't know

**MORGAN**

child?

teen?

adult?

tween?

**MORGAN**

old lady?

**EMILY**

tween-teen

**MORGAN**

decrepit?

ah

worst kind

**EMILY**

MUAHAHHAA DECREPIT

fuck yeah

and fuck you chick

**MORGAN**

lawl

**EMILY**

i already don't like you

**MORGAN**

just by her voice

**JESSICA**

It's being so meeeeeean D'X

**MORGAN**

yeah fuck dat bitch

**EMILY**

no

**MORGAN**

what is?

**EMILY**

not just by her voice

**JESSICA**

my SD card

**MORGAN**

by waht?

**EMILY**

wait

**MORGAN**

ok

i will wait forever

**EMILY**

who/what are we talking about?

**MORGAN**

(because you're worth it)

uh... you?

or dat chick?

**EMILY**

maybe i'm born with it

MAYBE IT'S MAYBELLINE

well

**MORGAN**

or jessica's sd card?

**EMILY**

i thought so too

but..didn't know if we switched to the sd card

**MORGAN**

no, i was gonna keep with dat chick cause she's way more interesting than an sd card

**EMILY**

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

i dunno

chick is in mah space

**MORGAN**

dat bitch

**EMILY**

dis mah space

bitch betta back off!

**MORGAN**

yeah, you tellz dat bitch to get outa yo space

**EMILY**

fuck yeah

**MORGAN**

exactly where iz yo space and that bitch in proximity to it?

currently?

**EMILY**

i'm in my room

she was in the outer room

**MORGAN**

and she in there too?

oh

**EMILY**

now they upstairs

**MORGAN**

lawl

better i spose

**EMILY**

bitch not be in mah room

**MORGAN**

good

**EMILY**

then i'm gonna have ta smack a bitch

**MORGAN**

totes

and you would have my full blessing to do so

**EMILY**

yay!

psh, there's only one chick i think i could take in a cat fight...

**MORGAN**

krysanthemum?

**EMILY**

well

**EMILY**

two maybe

**MORGAN**

lawl

who else?

**EMILY**

she was the second person

jeanarnia

**MORGAN**

oh lawl yeah

but i get the feeling she would scratch and bite and pull hair

**EMILY**

i've actually visioned how that fight would plan out

**MORGAN**

like, i feel like if she was in a legit cat fight, she would be vicious as fuck

dude!

**EMILY**

yeah

**MORGAN**

yeah

**MORGAN**

omigosh

**EMILY**

but...what about krysanthemum?

fuck...

**MORGAN**

jeanarnia and krysanthemum in a cat fight

krysanthemum would lose

but yeah

**EMILY**

what do you think krysanthemum would be like in a cat fight?

**MORGAN**

like, jeanarnia would rip her to shreds

**EMILY**

or a bitch fight

**MORGAN**

krysanthemum would curl up in a ball

**EMILY**

WE'VE moved on from jeanarnia

sweet

i'll get in a fight with krysanthemum

take that bitch DOWN

**MORGAN**

lawl

i feel like you would get so much shit for that

**EMILY**

yeaaaaah

oh well

who would "give it to me " that i would really care about?

**MORGAN**

um... kalyn

i have submitted her name into the goblet of flaming charisma im just spitting out word vomit now

**EMILY**

kalyn would give me shit for beating up krysanthemum?

**MORGAN**

uh... no, i fazed the shit out of that sentence (lawl) so that she's just giving "it" to you

so, actually, i fazed the "sh" out of it

out of "shit"

too many puns!

**EMILY**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

You people

**EMILY**

:)

**MORGAN**

What do you mean "you people?"

lawl

don't answer that

gah! sudden head ache! okay it's gone ish now

**EMILY**

it's nice to know who you could beat up in a fight!

YOU RACIST

YOU PEOPLE?

**…..**

**EMILY**

i really am hungry now...

but bitch is upstairs

and john and his friend are up the hill

**MORGAN**

its yo howse

**EMILY**

fuck that shiz

**MORGAN**

you go get yo food

**EMILY**

i don't wanna be meetin new people

**MORGAN**

and you let dat bitch know whose house it is

just ignore her den

?

**EMILY**

FUCK YEAH

**MORGAN**

:D

**EMILY**

boo ya bitch


	32. More Flow Charts

For the first time in quite a while, this is almost completely analysis. And deep analysis too. Mostly about the UU/uu characters.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

I'm reading Homestuck right now.

So I might have comments on it, but I also might be too lazy to have comments, so we'll see.

**KALYN**

I mean there is one important thing, and that's that ventriloquist dummies are apparently terrible omens or something like that, they just harbor bad things. Dirk refuses to get rid of him though because he feels it's his only connection to his brother. But Dave hates Cal, so this can't be true, so my guess is it was planted there, you know, since Cal is pretty much Doc Scratch's ancestor (and Lord English's as well, for that matter).

**KALYN**

oh yeah also these UU trolls have one of those timeline things as well, so forget anything I might've said about their limits to speaking in order. I mean, I'm sure they're speaking in an orderly manner just to keep things simple, unlike the trolls before, but they're still privy to the kids' timelines...at least up until they enter the medium, I think.

**KALYN**

uu: AND THE FACT THAT I MIGHT NOT CLuE YOu INTO YOuR FATE ALL THE TIME.

uu: DuE TO MY AGGRAVATED APATHY OVER THE MATTER.

uu: IS AN IMMuTABLE FACT. I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD.

uu: IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT GIVING A SHIT IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE.

TT: I feel like you've said something like that before.

TT: Different statements, but in that exact syntax.

uu: OH. YOu KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE?

uu: WHEN THAT FuCKING HAPPENS.

blahahahaha references. See? Hussie loves his repetition.

**KALYN**

uu: I SHOuLD HAVE KEPT IT BRIEF. AND SuRLY. LIKE I WAS GOING TO.

uu: LIKE JuST SAID.

uu: "HELLO DIRK."

uu: "I WANT TO PLAY A GAME."

uu: AND THEN LIKE.

uu: "BRO."

uu: "ROOF. NOW."

uu: "BRING JuJu."

uu: AND THAT'S IT.

uu: YEAH. THAT WOuLD HAVE BEEN GOOD.

uu: COLD FuCKING BLOODED. TO THE POINT. DAMMIT.

TT: That actually sounds familiar too.

TT: Are you sure you haven't said something like that before?

This troll is like many other trolls combined, haha. Karkat, and now some Gamzee. Is he the ultimate troll? haha

**KALYN**

And now the "drones" have arrived and Dirk is about to kick some ass, presumably.

Can't wait to see it!

**JESSICA**

Random thought: Rose never played the rain, did she?

**KALYN**

Ooooh, good one! I forgot about that! Have we talked about it before? I think we have, but it hasn't come up in a while

**EMILY**

so, i have an update on the bitch

can't stand her

she reminds me of adi from hal lunch

told my sister about that and she said that she was just like me

uhhhh

fuck that shit

and she's 13

**JESSICA**

? Who what now?

VIDEO'S BEEN REMOVED

What the fuck are you talking about Emily? Every time I look at your little string of comments it makes less and less sense.

Anyway, back to what you were saying Kalyn, I don't have much to add. Except maybe, how does uu make you think of Gamzee? I can definitely see Karkat, but I'm not so sure about Gamzee

Also, I'm not surprised that Cal is evil XD Hussie has not made it subtle though. It does sorta make it a little easier to follow Cal though. All of the Cals we have seen might not be the same Li'l Cal we are used to (probably isn't). It would also make sense why Gamzee had a Cal as well. How could he have gotten him? Bro did bring him with, right? But how could Gamzee have gotten him onto the asteroid? I dunno. Random ramblings and stuff.

**JESSICA**

uu is also doing that stupid self-fulfilling prophecy thing that the trolls were doing! Can't be that good, can it? The most outside influence the trolls had (that we know of) was Rose's walk through and that was just the very beginning, and I'm pretty sure it was just Kanaya who read that, right?

**JESSICA**

Also, I don't think uu can see very far into the future. He might be able to and UU is just telling him not to, but I somewhat doubt he would listen to her (althoug it's not impossible. There must be a reason they are playing together)

What if there session is like all those sessions on Earth that were never really able to get started since they weren't the "chosen ones" or whatever? Rose looked for walkthroughs and found some, but they were all horribly written. They didn't make it very far, though. What if UU and uu don't survive That would kinda suck

**JESSICA**

So they could be from one of the Alternia's (probably Beta), but they don't make it. Sort of like an off tangent. OR they /could/ be a tangent, but we get to follow them through as though they didn't die. It would be a little paradoxical for them all to meet, since technically, if they succeeded, at the very least, the Alpha trolls and Earth wouldn't exist. Unless if they scratched there session their Alpha session was able to create a frog and that frog was the Kid's universe. This would be assuming that no matter who creates it, the same worlds beget the same worlds. So the Alternian session would always create Earth, no matter what who collected and bred the frogs.

**JESSICA**

I was also thinking. Who is actually necessary for the session? You have the frog breeder and you have the ectobiologist, but is anyone else super necessary for the end mean? However, at the same time, all of the frog breeders and ectobiologists we have seen have been Prospitian dreamers, so we can kind of assume that is because Prospit creates while Derse destroys? I don't know if that has been covered and I'm mostly rambling about this stuff. And I'm not saying that the Dersian's are "evil," we know that isn't the case, but they are on the destructive side of life while Prospit is on the creation. It's more like the Prospitian dreamers are there to level the playing field. You always need a 1:1 ratio.

**JESSICA**

I think what I'm trying to say is that it is possible to have two players to a session, but UU is going to have to do double duty.

**KALYN**

(The Gamzee thing would be the "Bro. Roof. Now. Bring the _.")

**KALYN**

I remember speculating about how Cal got to Gamzee, and whether the Cal that Gamzee has now is older or younger than the one Dave grew up with and all that. Could go back and read HT until I find it or something. I think Cal was on a hoverboard or something like that once during the reckoning.

**JESSICA**

Mmmm, true, I think I remember that, and if he traveled straight towards their asteroid, he could have gotten there eventually. Kinda like the kids and trolls are traveling to the Alpha kid world.

**KALYN**

I'm also pretty sure that the UUs can only see the kids' session up until they enter the medium. isn't that what UU1 told Roxy? She can't see what they do after they start playing? Mostly likely because of Roxy's void thing, but it could be something else. Either way, that's why UU2 doesn't know what happens.

**JESSICA**

Also, this is so ridiculous, and yet for some reason it makes me think of Dirk. Could be the guys glasses/

Right, yes

**KALYN**

(I'll check that out in a bit, hang on)

**KALYN**

Um as for their session and whether it will be successful, the idea that they'll fail is certainly plausible, but IDK if they would be able to adequately communicate with each other if it will fail. Shouldn't their universes be connected in some way? But the spiel about creating each other's universes totally confused me, so maybe clarify. It was a bit rambly.

I like that Prospitians create Dersites destroy thing though. But I just love shit like that.

**JESSICA**

Ok, this is best explained...with a simple flow chart .

Alpha Alternia=Beta Earth

always, no matter what

**KALYN**

That is a silly comic.

Anyway, go on.

**JESSICA**

And I was thinking that if UU and uu are from an Alernia (I know, it made me giggle though) then it's probably a failed session in the Alpha timeline (where our trolls create Earth)

So them talking to each other would be paradoxical

**KALYN**

Wait wait, already you've lost me. Why does Alpha Alternia=Beta Earth? In what way? Do you mean Alpha Alternia created Beta Earth?

**JESSICA**

uuuuh

yes

sorry, i guess that wasn't clear, i meant to add a

**KALYN**

ok. now why would it be paradoxical for "them" (the U's and the Alpha kids?) to talk to each other?

**JESSICA**

Because, if they are from Alternia, then if they succeeded, the Beta Earth would never have come to be, and then the Alpha Earth wouldn't have either

Unless Alternia always = Earth

Guh, created would be way smpler to say .

I should stop being lazy

They could be an entirely different race of beings, that's not impossible, but the clues point to them being from one of the Alternias

probably the first one

Does that make any more sense :S

Um... You're not saying anything . . :S

**KALYN**

1) I don't see why, if their session succeeded, it would prevent the creation of Beta Earth. 2) If they're in their own session, why is it more likely that they are from the first Alternia? (I mean, I know we're meeting Beta Trolls right now, so I guess I see that.)

Basically, why would their success mean that the Alpha trolls didn't create Beta Earth? Because there wouldn't be a scratched session from the Beta trolls? Then you say, if they did succeed then maybe earth would exist anyway if Earth was always going to be the next universe created from that universe. But that makes even less sense, since we know that the Alpha trolls' session created Beta Earth, not this random tangent session.

**KALYN**

Furthermore, if they are in fact from the Alpha trolls' session, then we know they didn't succeed. Because they scratched.

I actually find the theory that they're a failed session to be credible.

But that just makes us wonder why they're able to communicate with these kids.

So scratch that I guess.

**JESSICA**

I think a lot of the confusion comes from me rambling and throwing out theories while i think

I seriously need to draw a flowchart or something for this x.x

Which I will do

I will beat Emily to it, too

**KALYN**

Ha ok. It better be very thorough, show the connections you made.

And include all possible outcomes.

As well as all possible theories on the origins of this session.

**JESSICA**

That was the plan

Now let's just hope I don't make /that/ super confusing too

**KALYN**

S'long as it's thorough and whenever you make any statement, you don't assume we know how you got there. Just explain why things are.

**JESSICA**

Eeeyup

**….**

**EMILY**

FUCK YEAH I READ ALL THAT

so-julia=remember yesterday i was talking about the bitch that came that i didn't like? that's what i meant

i like the uu and UU failed universe theory too

and FUCK NO

I'M GONNA BE DONE WITH THE FLOW CHART SOON

**JESSICA**

I...don't remember that at all...

**EMILY**

oh well

morgan and i were talking about it while you were talking about your sd card

**….**

**KALYN**

JANE STARTED PLAYING!

She's almost entered the medium, the first meteor's been spotted! Let the games begin! XO

**…**

**JESSICA**

I'm going to say read Homestuck before going through all of this, but first I would like to say, "Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a lab full of cats, a skirt full of scamper, and a head full of vodka." Which, when I think about it, sounds very familiar.

Like a movie quote or something

**…**

**KALYN**

hm it does sound kinda familiar

also, guys, someone broke the news to Dante about Hussie and Rufio. someone who knows him irl, so I'm not mad, but epic lawls. poor Dante... I kind of want to macro the picture of his reaction. "Dante is not amused."

**…**

**MORGAN**

Ok, after finally being able to get on the interwebs after two days *kalyn* I had a comment about the UU/uu trolls... like, maybe UU is like a sort of conglomerate of the girl trolls, and uu of the guys, or kalyn suggested it could be passive and active classes or something. But it could also just be AH and his repetition thing.

**MORGAN**

um... as far as the universe thing, like what jessica was rambling about, I wonder if there can be more than one session per planet/universe? like kalyn was saying, there are all those sessions on earth that couldn't really get going cause they weren't the chosen ones or whatever, and i doubt all of those people playing those sessions came to earth on meteors... meaning they probably have no ectobiologist in those sessions because they're not ecto-people... they're likely real mammalian humans. Which makes me wonder, were uu and UU ecto-trolls? or are they actual trolls hatched from whatever trolls hatch from...

**JESSICA**

(i thought I mentioned the multi-session thing . doesn't really matter i guess...)

**MORGAN**

maybe, somebody said it

**JESSICA**

lol, regardless, pretty sure that was a main point I was attempting to convey, but got lost in the garbage that was my ramble

anyway, any other theories!

**MORGAN**

okay, well here i am clarifying

um, mainly just contemplations

I'm still wondering what UU and uu have to do with everything

ooh, you know how kalyn said a long time ago they were like all HS fans and antifans personified together in two characters/

**JESSICA**

yup

**MORGAN**

wait... nevermind, this doesn't fit quite well with what i was gonna suggest

**JESSICA**

lol

**MORGAN**

I mean, it makes sense that uu should sound like Karkat, cause at the beginning karkat was like the ultimate human hater

but he also pulled a brief Gamzee moment, and gamzee was pretty much indifferent to them

so nevermind i guess

**JESSICA**

hmm

where did the syntax come from though? maybe that could explain why he seems like Gamzee as well?

if it was from something that inspired his creation, I mean

**MORGAN**

the syntax is like classic hussie syntax. pretty much everybody talks like that.

i mean, some characters are more straightforward, like john doesn't talk like that, and jade doesn't really either... maybe a little.

**JESSICA**

really? with the random weird sentence thing?

**MORGAN**

wait, what random weird sentence thing. that was vague

give me an example

**JESSICA**

It's sort of. Like a way. To prove a point. But he does this. At weird times.

**MORGAN**

Oh, that is uniquely his

Nobody else really does that

**JESSICA**

yeah, and I think that might have been what Dirk was referring to?

**MORGAN**

Maybe?

But nobody else talks like that? So I don't think... I can't really make any connections here

the syntax I was thinking about is just how phrases are arranged, regardless of punctuation.

**JESSICA**

Like I said, it could be referring to something outside of Homestuck

**MORGAN**

like what

**JESSICA**

ok

i don't know! just a movie or something

what movies has he referenced?

**MORGAN**

the breaking up sentences with periods thing?

**JESSICA**

yeah

**MORGAN**

why can't it just be a quirk?

**JESSICA**

it could be

**MORGAN**

all trolls have quirks, are they all references to things outside of homestuck?

**JESSICA**

le sign, it was a suggestion, also, what is "tumut"?

**MORGAN**

well, the t's are supposed to be like hands flipping you off, so like... a face... that flips you off

also, gonna give you some copy pasta from mspawiki

**MORGAN**

Andrew also mentioned that there is another blood color unaccounted for by the surviving trolls, a lime green color that would usually fit between Sollux's and Nepeta's colors on the hemospectrum. Besides the answer, the only other proof that this exists in the comic is the fact that lime green blood can be seen on the walls of the Grand Highblood and possibly from the Pesterchum symbol of URANIANUMBRA.

also, Uranium is lime green, so there's that connection

**JESSICA**

good point

**MORGAN**

and UU and uu are the only trolls whose signs have two colors: UU has lime green and grey, and she types in grey

uu has red and black and he types in black

can we assume his blood color is also red?

probably

and it's that bright red too

**JESSICA**

also, i just thought of a reason why UU and uu are from the Beta Alternia. UU was wearing a "signless" cufflink, like "Mindfang" was wearing a "signless" necklace

**MORGAN**

which would mean they're from the alpha, not the beta.

the signless and mindfang are the ancestors from the alpha universe

the beta universe was much more tame, like i'm pretty sure the hemospectrum wasn't a thing

**JESSICA**

yeees

that's what I'm saying, that's why i put mindfang in quotes, since we don't know her name...

but that's Mindfang pre-scratch

**MORGAN**

but... you said they're part of the beta alternia because of this, which i disagree with

the signless didn't have a sign in the beta, because he wasn't put in those 69 cuffs, because he wasn't troll jesus in the beta alternia!

**JESSICA**

(btw, this is the point where Dirk said the syntax was familiar: "uu: IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T MIND. IT'S THAT I FAIL SPECTACuLARLY TO GIVE A SHIT.

uu: THERE IS SuCH A BIG DIFFERENCE.

uu: AND THE FACT THAT I MIGHT NOT CLuE YOu INTO YOuR FATE ALL THE TIME.

uu: DuE TO MY AGGRAVATED APATHY OVER THE MATTER.

uu: IS AN IMMuTABLE FACT. I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD.

uu: IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT GIVING A SHIT IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE.

TT: I feel like you've said something like that before.

TT: Different statements, but in that exact syntax."

**JESSICA**

that's why i put signless in quotes too!

**MORGAN**

but how does this put UU and uu in the beta alternia?

**JESSICA**

hold up, i'll find "Mindfang" again

hold up!

**MORGAN**

... what

this still doesn't make sense to me

I know there was the sign of the signless, but just the fact that that exists lends more evidence to them being a part of the alpha alternia, not the beta

**JESSICA**

Necklace: /?s=6&p=006482

**MORGAN**

great

so... what exactly does this show?

we're gonna eat now, so please keep typing and I'll try and figure out what you're saying later

**JESSICA**

well, finally found UU's signless cufflink, and it's bright red

so you can now say "I told you so" so, whatever

so then, what? they're secret followers of The Signless? Hidden away from the rest of Alternia to forever live untouched?

^pretty much sarcasm right there

and if uu does in fact have bright red blood, what would that entail? that there was actually a troll lineage that was beget from his loins/incestual bucket material?

*begotten?

Also, reasons why UU and uu are definitely trolls:

1) UU's giant horns

2) The pallor of UU's skin (she is grey)

**EMILY**

i would just like to say that i would like to read all htat

but facebook is being an asshole

**JESSICA**

than wait until later

**EMILY**

oh...ok

**JESSICA**

3) The cuff of the signless

4) The language UU is reading

5) uu's elequently put statement about families "WE DON'T GOT SISTERS. IT'S NOT A THING"

Or, you know emily, you can go to the actual page with the messages, rather than reading it in the text box

that part is being an asshole lately

Woah! I suddenly have hunger, you would think I should have more than just a pudding cup and a bottle of snapple white tea

**MORGAN**

(Kalyn from this point) okay, lemme just clarify some points here. Morgan isnt denying they are trolls. That is an accepted fact because of those glaringly obvious reasons you provided for us. She's saying that it is more likely that UU and uu are a part of the ALPHA Alternia because that is the universe that gave the "Signless" his sign. He didn't have a sign before that. The fact that these trolls wear that sign points to them being followers. But at the same time, you did point out that the Beta Mindfang was wearing a signless necklace, so it's very likely that this sign was created in the Beta Alternia as well, not necessarily only in the Alpha universe.

But you know? I'm beginning to wonder if this uu isn't the signless himself. You said something about him having that bright red in his sign, yes? and his sign is U with a ~ crossing it out, which kind of seems like an anti sign thing, so he technically WOULD be Signless wouldn't he? I feel like this would put him in the Beta Alternia then. And his Sufferer counterpart in the Alpha universe was actually given a sign. The only question I guess is why other trolls are wearing this sign. Why would they be wearing it? Is it a sign of them following their leader? What would the significance of it be in their session?

**EMILY**

HMMMM

FINALLY read all that

shit

i need to work on that damn speech

**MORGAN**

also if I can clarify that "syntax" thing, Dirk definitely wasn't remarking on the punctuation. it was what uu was saying. different statements, same syntax. a character has definitely said that something is "an immutable fact I am stating for the record" etc etc. That and the "Bro. Roof. Now. Bring the _" was something Gamzee said before in his note to Karkat during hero mode. It was the repetition of phrasing patterns that Dirk was commenting on.

**EMILY**

mmm

m'yes

**…**

**MORGAN**

btw, i think it's totes possible that uu is in fact the signless, cause Scratch I think it was said that the signless did start getting old memories back from the past universe

**EMILY**

yeah…

**MORGAN**

so yeah... and UU would be a totes new character, cause her blood is lime green and we haven't seen that before.

anyway, I'm done now. Getting off


	33. Ahh Nostalgia

Remember when we used to have long walls of text from one person because we would go off on a symbolism research tangent? Get ready for some nostalgia, people! :D

* * *

><p><strong>JESSICA<strong>

Super-Special-Awesome Homestuck update!

It's a flash, and there is sooooooo muuuuuch to talk about!

well, a decent amout to talk about

Sadly, I have to get ready for class (DAMNIT) So I'll be back in a few hours, but until then, sit tight guys! And by that I mean, if you are here between now and then, check it out and start talking... I guess

ok, bye!

**KALYN**

ok then I'll get started

**KALYN**

Um we just watched it. Jane failed to prototype the sprite, the tree didn't bear fruit, so I think that's the consequence of not prototyping, so she was unable to successfully enter the medium. It actually almost seems like she got stuck in some place in the void instead. The tree just disappeared.

Then it says years in the future and the landscape is changed, yet Dirk and Roxy and Jake are all suddenly existing in that changed landscape, so did they just jump forward in time? uhhh

Like there was light around them when that was happening, so it seems like they just transcended time there.

**KALYN**

Also, the landscape is changing and there's a chessboard thing and the Condesce's army is coming to get them and the world isn't destroyed by meteors for some reason. Although they still have SBURB and the medium and all that, I'm wondering if the final battleground for this showdown isn't actually Earth.

The main question is where Jane is and how she's going to escape her predicament.

**KALYN**

And also why we only saw one meteor (which might not have been a meteor since it could've been the Condesce) before she just disappeared somewhere (having failed to prototype and enter the medium by taking a bite out of an apple that the tree she grew didn't produce) and now we're suddenly years in the future without any time having even passed at all.

There are no meteors. So does that mean there was no reckoning? Or are they just not showing up yet?

There are many questions to be answered, so I look forward to future updates.

**JESSICA**

I think maybe a good thing to note is how much GCat has been messing with them. He did save Jane, but he unplugged Roxy's window so she was stuck in the void and had to go back to the lab. Then he sent Poppop out into space to keep him from being prototyped (which, if you think about it, makes sense. Jane wouldn't have his immense intelligence as a sprite). But why did he do these things?

**JESSICA**

I also was wondering if maybe LE promised the Condesce Earth as a new Alternia. It has the lusi, the trolls invaded instead of the planet being bombarded with meteors. Although, that is something else to note. It seems like everything just suddenly went way into the future, but there was definitely some Alternian-esque architecture.

**JESSICA**

Something to think about is the trolls that were flying towards at least Dirk and Roxy. I guess what my first impression was that they came at the same time as the Condesce (which, duh, makes sense), but that they all traveled into the future with Dirk, Roxy and Jake.

Which, doesn't really make sense now that I think about it, haha.

But could this be why UU can't see what happens to them? Did she say it was definitely after Roxy entered?

And did uu save Dirk's life by making him go to the roof? Since Dirk's apartment building was destroyed and all that was left was the roof. Wasn't that kinda like Dave's home in the medium?

But, yeah, with the sprite thing, it never had the chance to split into three parts. That means the towers wouldn't have been lit up or whatever.

Soooo...Is it safe to say that their session is "fucked up"? Lol

**EMILY**

yay!

but yeah

that was definitely an exciting update!

**KALYN**

main thing I'm confused by is your statement: "which, if you think about it, makes sense. Jane wouldn't have his immense intelligence as a sprite"

**EMILY**

maybe gcat knows a way to prototype himself as a sprite and didn't want poppop or whatever to be the sprite

**JESSICA**

let's see, that was referring to GCat sending Poppop into space. The initial prototyping just gives the "bad guys" powers, while the second prototype is the helper, and no emily, not at all what i was getting at i don't think

**EMILY**

oh…

**JESSICA**

lol

but does that make anymore sense?

(i hope so, because i gotta go cook dinner, i promised i would)

(so i'll be back in a while)

**KALYN**

yeah the statement still doesn't make sense to me. Namely, "Jane wouldn't have his immense intelligence as a sprite." why? she could talk to him as a sprite, therefore she would have this immense intelligence you say he has.

**….**

**EMILY**

so...i tried to translate the message but i got ynam ton tub...

that makes no fucking sense

obviously

IT'S FUCKING BACKWARDS?

WHY THE FUCK WOULD THAT BE

IT'S SUPPOSED TO SAY BUT NOT MANY

THAT PISSES ME OFF!

**KALYN**

that's really confusing

**EMILY**

why it's backwards or what i'm saying

**KALYN**

why it's backwards

**EMILY**

yeah!

**JESSICA**

what are you talking about?

**EMILY**

homestuck

**JESSICA**

the words at the bottom?

**EMILY**

yea

**JESSICA**

ok

**EMILY**

yeah…

**….**

**JESSICA**

Just drew a couple goofy sketches of Captain Plumbthroat. Might include one with squiddles, lol. I made him a lot like Eridan XD

**…**

**KALYN**

Guys, is UU the same as Rose's character? Or does UU dress up as Rose's character? Or is Hussie just cosplaying as both UU and Rose's character? And why is Slick a cyborg?

**JESSICA**

hold up!

**KALYN**

Emily, how did you translate that "but not many" before? (It's like a continuation of that "years in the future" thing. "years in the future...but not many" shows up a lot.)

**JESSICA**

there is apparently a translator, i can't remember how i found it, but i did find it today, lol

**KALYN**

oh ok cool beans

**JESSICA**

and by "translator" i mean a guide, i guess?

anyway, that was silly, today's update

**JESSICA**

What are you going on about cosplaying? Hussie is dressed like UU (we get to see what her hair looks like)

Does Rose wear a similar outfit?

The headband is probably just there to hold the horns in place, since Hussie is, you know, human

Anyway, what all has happened to Slick to warrant him being a cyborg?

He had his little hate-fest with Snowman, but what happened after that? Did Snowman blow up? I don't remember... I'm going back, because that sounds oddly right...

I'm going to add this real quick, but that butler dude looks hilarious smiling like that. It wouldn't be the same without the mustache though, lol

**KALYN**

No Rose's character. In the books. the androgynous protagonist.

**JESSICA**

Wait, which books :?

**KALYN**

yeah, Snowman was killed, which exploded the universe or something like that. When you kill Sn0wman, you destroy the universe.

Rose's books. 'Cept it's Alpha universe, so it's probably not really her.

**JESSICA**

Ok, I see what you mean with the books.

Now, what I was asking is if /Snowman/ not just the universe, blew up.

**KALYN**

Go back to when you see her character (it's on Roxy's desktop background) and you'll see that it's the same. If there are also elements of UU's character there, could we say that they might be close to the same? Or that AH is double cosplaying?

**JESSICA**

Did I come across as confused Cuz I wasn't... unless you are expounding for future reference

**KALYN**

yes that

**JESSICA**

Ok

*whispers* did Sn0wman /explode/ or was it just the universe?

**KALYN**

dunno

Just the universe, rofl

**JESSICA**

ok, cuz i was wondering if you remembered so I didn't have to go through finding the instant where she blew up (I went too far back )

Although I was close to Jade and Karkat talking, and I realize I miss Karkat talking

**JESSICA**

Ok, something interesting I would just like to note here. When Jade and Karkat are talking to each other (this is shortly after the "make out with myself" debauchery) and karkat says something very similar to uu and Jade's reaction is similar to Dirks. "CG: OK WELL THE MOST IMMEDIATE POINT OF BUSINESS IS

CG: YOU SEE THAT GLOWING BLUE SCREEN BEHIND YOU?

GG: yes

CG: YOU NEED TO TURN THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OFF.

GG: ok, i can do that

GG: but why, what does it do?

GG: its been here my whole life and i could never figure it out

CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY MUCH ABOUT IT.

CG: BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO SCREW WITH.

CG: THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF

CG: FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID

CG: THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT."

**JESSICA**

It's not the same, but it's very similar uu and the bad juju

God, I love Karkat

Just another note, we were talking about how when Jade was propelling the ship through the void, jade said they were going at the speed of light

I think it was Kalyn who mentioned that the speed of light had been broken in the scientific world.

**KALYN**

yes

I said that because Jade said they could only go that fast

**JESSICA**

Well, Hussie knew that they could go faster, because Doc Scratch says this: "She was forced to continue the journey home on auxiliary power. Her ship now travels near the speed of light, a pale shadow of its former velocity."

That's the Condesce's ship

**KALYN**

what month was that though? Because it was September or October of last year when that discovery was made.

I feel like that can be chalked up to Science Fiction.

**JESSICA**

They believed it was possible a while ago, if I remember correctly, they just doubly proved it last fall

and that was during Doc Scratch's stuff, so it was probably last fall, lol

this should be the page, if not around the right page..?s=6&p=005968

Well ok, I have found no reason why Slick would be a cyborg, so we shall find out later.

**….**

**JESSICA**

"It was one of his more tentative stabbings though... I think he meant it as a sort of thank you?"

**KALYN**

I love that, rofl. Ms Paint is so cute!

**EMILY**

I AM IN THE MAGICAL TIME OF NOW

GOD DAMN IT AND YOU'RE GONE NOW

**KALYN**

lost connection for a bit

**EMILY**

oh

**KALYN**

didn't realize it

sorry

**…..**

**EMILY**

more homestuck

isn't the hulk mr white text?

**KALYN**

the hulk? lol it just updated a few minutes ago didn't it? I checked it maybe an hour ago

**EMILY**

hahahaha

**KALYN**

and a half

**EMILY**

just look

just look

**KALYN**

oh man Hussie bot was killed by Lord English! D:

(it's Lord English, born from Doc Scratch's corpse...or something like that.)

I don't understand why he has one gold tooth, but whatever. Pimps be pimpin.

**EMILY**

hahaha

**KALYN**

Also I'm positive that Dave is going to be the one to eventually kill Lord English, because his next God Tier is called Pimpslayer.

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

I mean, maybe they all loosen him up a bit, but I think Dave will deal the fatal blow.

**EMILY**

i like that

i like it like that

do you like it like that

YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

**KALYN**

lawl did my internet just come back again? haha

**EMILY**

nah

i just sent that

**JESSICA**

yay! I know don't have to go back to earlier arcs to get some Karkat time

Not much new in this update, just Karkat or whatever

( )

why? why do you insist on doing that one correctly? (:D) does that work?

no! no it doesn't, so why the stupid heart?

whatever, Karkat kismesis with himself... nothing they say is too important

o8 ==club?

**….**

**JESSICA**

HOMESTUCK UPDATE HERP DERP DERP

**JESSICA**

Ok, part of Karkat's conversation with himself: "FCG: YOU WANT HER IN EVERY QUADRANT LIKE A DESPERATE FOOL.

FCG: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE BECOME? YOU ARE THE SAD JOKE CHARACTER IN THE ROMCOM, YOU KNOW THE GUY I'M TALKING ABOUT.

FCG: WHO'S GREEDY AND INDISCRIMINATE ABOUT FILLING EVERY QUADRANT, TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO IT, AND IN THE END HAS FUCKALL TO SHOW FOR IT."

Sound familiar?

**JESSICA**

Also, I do not like what this does for my "shipping wall" D:

**EMILY**

I READ IT

what's your shipping?

**KALYN**

before I read that: I love how they can enlist the help of dead God Tier friends. Pretty bitchin.

Why does it sound familiar?

Please tell me.

Also, I'm cool with this now. Now that it's been canonically admitted, I'm fine with it. I mean I'm not so sure Karkat's gonna get the girl in the end anyway, but yeah I'm fine now with Terezi getting in on Karkat and/or Dave. Cool with it.

I think the fact that I wrote her with Jonghyun, my favorite SHINee member, and had a fun time with it helped, and also that she's bonding with Dave in much the same way.

Hey, where did they get all the fancy furniture?

**EMILY**

I don't like terezi/Dave

**JESSICA**

I don't mind Terezi/Dave

Also, the quote reminded me of Eridan

Apparently they needed to fill the void, lol

I also think it's really cute that WV is hanging out with Dave and Terezi

Before I forget, we now know why there was a dead god tier Karkat in Roxy's dream. She was traveling through the bubbles (did we cover that before? I suppose it would have been obvious given the fact that there were dead trolls everywhere)

**JESSICA**

More update too, i don't know if you guys have seen it yet

Apparently when they communicate via diaglog, they have to dance XD

**MORGAN**

wait, lawl, what?

**JESSICA**

Have you checked the homestuck update?

**MORGAN**

nah man, they're just walking in place

**JESSICA**

it was a joke

**MORGAN**

anyway, i gotta go

**JESSICA**

so you just stop by to poke holes in my ego? well, bye! have fun

**….**

**KALYN**

so just randomly going through all the old sound updates in homestuck for kicks, I found out that Bro was in fact the original character to say "Bro. Roof. Now. Bring _" which is precisely why Dirk thought it was such a familiar phrase. He was the one who said it first.

anyone else struck by the thought that early on, when we see Dave outside on the roof (pretty much from his established association with fire when he marvels at the weather until he enters the medium), the whole fiery sky looks like a freaking eye?

**KALYN**

You know...it seems there's a lot of interconnection between the alpha and beta verses. Jade's pumpkins were being stolen by Jake; Jaspers went from Rose to Roxy and back again; John's book, which Nannasprite wrote in, somehow ended up in the alpha verse with Jane's handwriting and everything...only thing I can't think of is something that went between Dave and Bro. Can you think of anything of Dave's that might have disappeared or something? Hell, was Dave's copies of SBURB ever recovered? Wait, did those go to Jade in the end? I think that's what might have happened.

ok yeah Jade got those

from the timer flower thing

that fiery eye image was reused in "make her pay" with the Alternian sun.

Feferi's seahorses are a lot like Maplehoof.

**JESSICA**

Yup

Yup to all of that, lol

I noticed most of that before. Especially the interconnectedness

Hussie also uses that "sun" image for Dave's eye and an altered version for Dirk's eye

**KALYN**

IDK why I was so amazed before that Sn0wman had blue blood. She's royalty. =_=

**JESSICA**

But she's the only one /with/ blue blood

Do WQ and the white king have blue blood?

But I also said something to that effect before, lol

**KALYN**

Hm, I guess yeah...

**JESSICA**

And I mentioned it because "blue blood" /is/ a term used with (at least) English royalty. Don't know if that was why you thought you shouldn't have been amazed

**KALYN**

yeah it pretty much was. hey, where did you find that translator for troll language?

**JESSICA**

googled it

it's actually really simple

i saved it, so i'll send it here

**KALYN**

…

**JESSICA**

(the key is finding it...)

**KALYN**

Uh

**JESSICA**

what?

did you google it? did you find it?

**KALYN**

no, keep looking

I could though if it's faster

**JESSICA**

lol, let's race!

found it x.x and of course it was just sitting there unattended (not in a folder .)

**JESSICA**

Here

**JESSICA**

well... ok, maybe not incredibly simple, but translating is fairly simple

sine it's just english backwards

*since

**KALYN**

ok

ha that kind of became pointless

oh well

**JESSICA**

why?

**KALYN**

it was just "click == to continue"

so I like how the only two updates beginning with [s?] involve strife with a crabdad.

One is Karkat, the other is Jake

**JESSICA**

Oh, haha

and what was kind pointless? "click == to continue" how does that apply?

**KALYN**

that was the translatio

n

**JESSICA**

oh, ok

I'm sure it's all pretty inoccuous (or however you spell that...)

(innocuous)

**KALYN**

I'm beginning to recognize the letters without having to use the reference. Granted, "This is stupid" was a pretty easy one to figure out.

**JESSICA**

Like I said, it's pretty simple to translate. I translated "Battleship Condescension" only having to look up three letters

Context and a handy dandy reference when needed

**KALYN**

ok so I've rewatched all the flashes

you'd be fucking surprised (ok probably not really) how much is reused for different characters.

ah repetition

K I'm gonna finish my fucking homework now

**JESSICA**

have fun!

and it's no so much surprising that he reuses stuff, it's just surprising when you run across it in unexpected places

and all the little hints he's dropped throughout

**EMILY**

READ ALL THAT

don't forget the one time it was backwards

**JESSICA**

Have another cookie

**EMILY**

yay!

**JESSICA**

I'm pretty sure I mentioned it was backwards, didn't i?

**EMILY**

noep

**EMILY**

HOLY FUCKING HOMESTUCK UPDATE SHIT!

never mind

my computer decided to be an asshole

and say that i hadn't looked at those pages yet

but there is an update

**MORGAN**

hahaha lawl i love seeing them interact without the pretense of technology! Dave is familiarizing himself with trollian romance. and can town is basically the most amazing thing ever. the end.

yeah, this mode of communication is quite refreshing.

it pleases me ._.

**EMILY**

i like seeing them again

i like the trolls

**JESSICA**

Did I ever mention that I think Fef's and Eridan's wings are pretty damn awesome?

Guess that what happens when you are royalty

**MORGAN**

oh i hadn't even noticed them before, but yeah those are pretty damn cool

also, i'm really bad at paying attention to pictures, but Fef is bringing WV back to life isn't she...

**JESSICA**

Yup, that's why he was messing around with Terezi and Dave

Have you seen today's update? After they start dancing? I didn't read what you said before, just in case there were spoilers

**MORGAN**

yeah, and i have some mini spoilers. nothing huge

just tidbits of conversation

**JESSICA**

Ok

Well, I just wanted to say, that I really love Kanaya's reaction, when she's all miffed

Rose's reaction to that is pretty funny too, lol

**MORGAN**

yeah. i thought it was funny that rose was all "she does NOT want a kismesis!"

**JESSICA**

No, no, Kismet fish!

**MORGAN**

i think they're getting the hang of troll romances

**JESSICA**

So, I really hope that everyone reunites on April 1st

**MORGAN**

lawl except for the terms... *dave cough*

**JESSICA**

I hope they have! It's been a year!

**MORGAN**

omigosh woah

what about april 13

when it all started?

**JESSICA**

I think April fools would be better

then he can pull a prank, lol

**MORGAN**

why

**JESSICA**

Well, maybe the actual thing be April 13

**MORGAN**

uh.. confused?

**JESSICA**

it's not really important

April 1st=April Fool's Day, he could play a prank or something

but has he before? Now that i think about it, I don't remember anything like that...

Like I said, not really important

**MORGAN**

i mean i got that connection i guess, but im not sure... how that would go down?

i guess?

**JESSICA**

Yeah, see, I get excited and I don't think things through, and then people ask me to explain and I'm like "Wow, that /is/ really stupid. Never mind!"

I'm gonna see if I can steal the XBox and play some video games later!

**MORGAN**

aight you do that

**KALYN**

Lots of awesome universe information. Now we know why Jane didn't prototype. Void session. There's a lot about void in this session.

Dante Basco said he'd do voice acting for a HS character. Just cuz. I think he'd be perfect for Tavros, because of the Rufio connection and also because his voice is a bit high. Be great!

**EMILY**

ya'll look at this yet?

** Homestuck - Television Tropes & Idioms**

**KALYN**

ooh! on the characters page of alpha trolls, the uu trolls are in an Unknown Universe!

Here's something interesting: "UU is a lighter version of Karkat, uu is a darker version, literally even! Their chat colors are are lighter and darker than Karkat's respectively."

and this is exactly what I said: "uranianUmbra is basically a reference to MSPA's fandom, while undyingUmbrage is basically a reference to its anti-fandom. They lampshade a lot of things, including UU's own exposition and the colors of the pesterlogs."

**KALYN**

"There are two UUs, or two double u's, ie, WW.

UU is the fandom avatar, uu is the anti-fandom avatar. In other words, they're u!

The folder name for this section also applies as it's just UU."

**KALYN**

I love how they're pretty much Karkat: " In universe, they're heavily associated with the symbols associated with Karkat, as well showcasing exaggerated aspects his personality.

Together, UU and uu's text colors (#929292 and #323232) average together to be Karkat's (#626262). Their symbols contain candy red for uu and lime green for UU, which are Karkat's blood color and where his blood color would be in the order the trolls are listed in, if he had a normal blood color (ie, between Sollux's mustard and Nepeta's forest green), in addition to lighter and darker shades of grey. These colors seem to be their blood colors as well."

**KALYN**

I think both of these trolls are Karkat's counterpart.

He has two for some reason. Because he's a mutant or something.

IDK he was somehow split I guess. 'Cept they're trying to have their own session possibly in a separate universe, so probably not quite like this. But still, I like the Karkat thing.

OH before I forget! So the Alpha session is a void session? Well Roxy blacked out the whole thing (with the help of GCAT's sabotage against prototyping) and that's exactly why UU can't see their session once Jane enters.

**KALYN**

This seems really interesting because of the symbolism, but I'm not so sure about the theory: "The possible snake foreshadowing, and the clear withholding of truth makes it kind of hard to trust her. On the other hand, her stated reasons are benign, and she promises it all will end well.

Calmasis, a character considered by most to be a Shout Out to the fan speculation about UU, is associated with snakes and is an antagonist. UU is eventually revealed to be wearing a jacket with the same colors as Calmasis.

Not to mention the Caduceus is associated with deceit and lies amongst other things."

**KALYN**

btw, Calmasis is Rose's androgynous character.

I think...

is that right?

ooh more speculation about UU's influence on the Alpha session: "Snakes. Considering the heavy influence The Bible has on the mythology of the Alpha Session, this may prove to not be a good thing."

That's really foreboding.

Why didn't I consider that before? WTF?

What if UU is like a deceitful fucking asshole evil troll fangirl, and uu turns out to be an okay guy, if a bit brash and hard headed?

"At one point Jade tells Karkat that if he was nicer to her she would have believed what he was saying. Jane specifically says that UU's niceness is what makes her somewhat more believable." Which is exactly why she could be quite deceitful.

Karkat was nothing if not completely honest.

uu's pretty honest too. Why would you lie about hating someone if you liked them? If he says he hates you, you don't have to worry about him, because if he is lying then it means he likes you and has no reason to harm you. If not, well you already know he hates you.

But someone who says they're a huge fan of yours is someone you should watch out for, because their betrayal will cut deeper.

"Fanart commonly depicts UU as looking like Calmasis with troll horns. Hussie acknowledged this through cosplay" ok yeah that is Rose's character.

Which means that Hussie wasn't necessarily double-cosplaying, but he wasn't confirming UU's appearance as the same as Calmasis either.

It was just an acknowledgement of fan theory.

**KALYN**

I like this: " The "uranian" may refer to Uranian astrology. It has a number of other possible definitions as well. Umbra usually refers to the deepest part of a shadow cast by a celestial body; taken literally her name means "The shadow cast by Uranus"

The hex code for her chat color is #929292. 92 is the atomic number of Uranium.

When matched with Karkat's #626262, there's a reference to the Sufferer's sym69l. It's eventually revealed she has half of the Sufferer's sym69l as a cufflink on her left sleeve." Wait, she only had half the symbol? Was it just the 9? Does uu have the 6 then?

**KALYN**

"GT: When do i get to learn your name by the way?

UU: hm trUthfUlly?

UU: it may be for the best that yoU never know it.

UU: it coUld stir Up some things best left in their present eqUilibriUm."

Yeah, hey, that is pretty shifty!

**KALYN**

" The lime portion of her symbol matches the color used for First Guardian powers..." Another reason she can't be trusted! Becquerel was the only good thing that was bestowed with the powers of the Green Sun.

alright, so I don't really think uu is an "okay guy" because he's full of bloodlust like no other. Moreso than Vriska, who really just wanted all the luck and treasure.

Ahh repetition: "Later on he calls back a line from Karkat and a letter from Bro, both of which were previously called back by other characters. The strangest thing is that Dirk finds them both familiar."

Although, wait, fuck, he knew Cal was a bad omen and tried to get Dirk to destroy it.

So maybe that does mean that he's at least on the right side of the line between everyone and Lord English.

"He's completely correct about Lil' Cal being a bad omen. On the other hand, even if Bro took his advice and destroyed Cal it's unlikely that it would actually prevent anything."

Really, he's more of a free agent or a wild card. He's against everyone, but he might have to team up to take out Lord English so he can continue living in order to kill everyone else.

Then maybe he'll learn the human emotion called friendship or something.

**KALYN**

"undyingUmbrage. Umbrage also means annoyance, or offense. Taken literally, his name could be interpreted as "Eternally annoyed" which describes him pretty well. Umbrage also has an archiac meaning of "shadow", connecting him to uranianUmbra." (which is because Umbra is the shadow cast by a celestial body, so her name literally means "the shadow cast by Uranus.")

**KALYN**

and this shit: "undyingUmbrage's is a red tilde overlaying a capital U, which is a somewhat obscure symbol for Ophiuchus. U is used in ~ATH code as shorthand for Universe, and the shade of red matches Karkat's blood and the color used for the kids' universe. Taken together, the red tilde over a U can be said to resemble resemble a universe bathed in blood, which reflects his Blood Knight attitude." I mean, it could totally be the Alpha Universe, since their session is already totally bloody, and I don't expect it to get any less so.

Wait, fuck, how did I not realize this before. Roxy and Jake had encounters not only with a couple of Beta trolls, but with a couple of DEAD Beta trolls. Their eyes were white, they had no pupils. Why am I so dumb.

That's why they were both in the void, and why Roxy was able to encounter one in the void and Jake in a dream.

**JESSICA**

Hopy shit

I think I died a little inside

I don't even know where to begin

Ummm, good job?

Oh yeah! I looked something up about the cadeuces at one point

And what I found didn't really connect with what was said up there, I need to find it again...

Wait, does her symbol have one or two snakes?

**KALYN**

ahh, don't you miss these one-person walls of text?

I forget, but my guess would be two, because of the medical thing. I would look it up though

**JESSICA**

There is a difference, actually, according to wiki, the caduceus and the Asclepius (one snake) get mixed up

i'm looking now

**KALYN**

oh ok

well I'm headed to bed because I'm shooting tomorrow, so I'll let you sort all this out

**JESSICA**

Weird! She has a caduceus, but with no wings

the Asclepius has no wings, but one snake

and the Caduceus has two snakes and wings!

**KALYN**

She's a hybrid!

Oh, and I like the idea of uu being the "sufferer" because he's sooooooooo fucking angry and the Sufferer was pretty much just that.

**JESSICA**

Also, just remembered, you're thing where UU only had one half of the 69, I know I mentioned that at one point

It's bright red too

**KALYN**

anyway, bed time. I read the whole page on the newer trolls. (orly?) I'm tired. Continue responding! (Especially about certain theories about UU)

That's what I really want to discuss

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I'll look up more info on both the caduceus and the asclepius, see if it has anything to do with deception

Along with other stuff, lol

but i'm pretty tired, might run out of steam

now to stop complaining and get to work!

**KALYN**

Just came back on to say HOLY CRAP I HAVE 69 FOLLOWERS! :DDDDD

Carry on.

**JESSICA**

Ok, so, the caduceus was given to Hermes as a sign of friendship (from Apollo after Hermes stole his sheeps)

ahahaha

Asclepius is actually the name of Apollo's kid (I'll touch more on him later)

The caduceus is all about diplomacy, truce, friendship, etc. nothing to do with deception

And the Rod of Asclepius is connected to healing and medicine

But like I said before, UU's symbol lacks a pair of wings. Maybe the reason why it has to do with deception is because of that? It's not /quite/ the caduceus, but masquerading as it instead

I don't think Hussie would miss something like that (or he could have, he's only human)

More healing for the rod and serpent, and this is from the Bible: "Then the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. And the people came to Moses and said, "We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD and against you. Pray to the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us." So Moses prayed for the people. And the LORD said to Moses, "Make a fiery serpent and set it on a pole, and everyone who is bitten, when he sees it, shall live." Moses made a bronze serpent and set it on a pole. And if a serpent bit anyone, he would look at the bronze serpent and live."

**JESSICA**

(That is called the "Nesushtan" just in case you were wondering...which I doubt you were .)

**EMILY**

jegus guys!

**JESSICA**

You really have no idea how nastalgic this is

**EMILY**

oh?

**JESSICA**

(I'm going to continue with my tangent, so hold up)

So, there were some snake related cults during the bronze age, and something I find interesting is the fact that they found two at Megiddo (connected to Aradia). Also, interestingly, "Armageddon" is "Har megiddo" meaning "Mount of Megiddo" in Hebrew, just throwing that one out there

**JESSICA**

Again, there is a lot of Biblical symbolism pointing to serpents being healing

Other than, of course, the serpent in the Garden of Eden...I'll look that up next... if there is anything where the serpent is the bad guy

Interesting (not Biblical): "snake was often considered one of the wisest animals, being (close to the) divine"

I guess the only thing I can think of is UU and uu's nigh omniscience

So, UU is /almost/ like god. Karkat, however, said to John one time that the 12 trolls were their gods

Which is basically true since they created them

The problem with taking a Biblical stance on the snake doohickey, is the fact that the serpent is bipolar, so to speak: "The serpent was a symbol of evil power and chaos from the underworld as well as a symbol of fertility, life, and healing"

"The Serpent has the ability to speak and to reason, and is identified with the wisdom of this world" this is something else that can be tied to UU

**JESSICA**

lol, mostly the "wisdom of this world"

That quote goes on: "made" (Genesis 3:1). There is no indication in the Book of Genesis that the Serpent was a deity in its own right, although it is one of only two cases of animals that talk in the Pentateuch"

so, again with the god/deity thing, UU is not quite a god, but she certainly knows a whole hell of a lot

lol

**JESSICA**

Karkat=God

UU=Serpent/tempter/Satan/etc.

uu=Angry Jesus =personally like this parallel the best XD

**EMILY**

(night)

**JESSICA**

Although, the Sufferer was, for all intents and purposes, Jesus, but he was also angry, so there you go! If we assume that uu was the Sufferer or his counterpart or something, then we can also assume that.

(good night)

This is also interesting if we are looking at UU being connected to an evil portrayal of the snake: "In the oldest story ever written, the Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh loses the power of immortality, stolen by a snake"

This seems foreboding enough to be noteworthy

Keep having half-formed thoughts on this one, but, hey, it's 1:25 right now, can I be forgiven for that? Yes? No? Ok

Ok, so despite my previous statement of the serpent being sort of a dual force, the majority of its appearances in the Bible are not good ones

Ok, I think, after The Blade Itself, and then Hunger Games, I think my next read is going to have to be a thorough analysis of the Bible

What's really cool, from an evolutionary standpoint, is that the serpent is depicted with legs until God metaphorically chops them off

Evolution! In one fell swoop! Actually, that's more like Lamarck's theory of acquired traits being passed down...but this is God we're talking about here, he can just say "Screw the rules, I have mon-ultimate power!"

Bwaaaah, tired x.x

this is way too much thinking for this time of night D: And there was totally some poor defenseless animal that was killed outside a little over half an hour ago, but it's final squeals still haunt me


	34. 1 SM3LL 4 K1SM3S1S

****I go insane a little bit somewhere in here... Also, this covers the intermission updates that take place on the meteor, as well as a little before.

* * *

><p><strong>EMILY<strong>

wait

holy homestuck confusion

you guys read the update?

**MORGAN**

not yet, but i shall now

**EMILY**

gotta go now

but it's the last page that's confusing me

**MORGAN**

aight, i'm reading it now

ok, so roxy and dirk are actually hundreds of years in the future, which is why we saw them with the condesce and the drones... they actually already were "years in the future"

which is also why we didn't see how jake was affected by the condesce coming, they only showed us roxy and dirk

this is also probably why roxy and dirk seem to just know more about these things than jane and jake.

like, they know the condesce is evil, probably because in the future it is more obvious. Her reign is that, while in Jane's time it's pretty much not happened quite yet

**KALYN**

Hey I was right about the reckoning! That there wouldn't be one! It was just a possibility I suggested before, but yeah!

Because remember when I noticed that there were no meteors?

Yeah. That was the context.

**KALYN**

I was wondering if Earth would be the final battlefield, but now it's clear that the Beta Skaia battleground will serve that purpose. Earth will be the final resting place for all the Trolls and kids after all is said and done, which will be fine and dandy since there are lusii for the trolls everywhere.

**KALYN**

What the fuck? So the kids John made were actually the Alpha AND Beta kids? Woah. I mean I knew there were some weird inter-universal shenanigans going on, but I didn't expect that. Does this mean that the guardians of each session were actually born on Earth? Because didn't Karkat just make 12 wrigglers rather than 24? I feel like that was a thing. What was baby!Dirk sent back with? Was it Cal? So is his Cal the very same Cal, but much older now? Eh. Brainfuck.

"due to the many causal entanglements between a session and its originating universe." so...that's why they can send things to each other through the different sessions?

Huh. So I guess since they're all in the future and whatnot...this makes some sense? Like their knowledge of all of this, and maybe even the presence of those carapaces in Roxy's lab? And Cal IS much older now... uh. Hm.

Not sure completely what to think of all this. I still haven't read all jessica's research though, so I'll get to that now.

You know the whole Armageddon/Megido connection makes a bit of sense, since Aradia's handle is apocalypseArisen

Realization that, because no prototyping means they have a fighting chance now, GCAT was being less sabotagey and more helpful. Still don't know what side he's on since both sides need this development to advance their own goals.

**JESSICA**

Ok, I'm going to have a quick interjection here. Kalyn, you say there will be no reckoning (which is what Rose said as well), but the Reckoning is defined by the White King being taken down. CD just took out both Kings.. Does that count?

**KALYN**

tumblr is the worst at counting. I was going back through all my posts trying to see if I could calculate the average notes for each one. Click on the posts to count the notes myself instead of trusting tumblr, but there's one that it says has no notes. I know for a fact it has at least 30. I click on it and no notes show up. The one right after that? "130 NOTES! :DD" but I'm like, "Hold the fucking phone, I KNOW it doesn't have that many!" I click on it and there's 8 notes. What. The fuck. Tumblr.

No, it doesn't count. The reckoning is started by Dersian agents AFTER the WK is taken down, yes, but this is only if the battlefield has matured to its final form.

(Guess I'll never get an accurate average of my notes...fuck.)

think instead I'll calculate the average of the notes that I count, and then the average of the notes that tumblr counts, to see the margin of error. keeping in mind, of course, how much it's lying to me about what posts have notes and which don'.t

**JESSICA**

lol

Ok, as for the ectobiology shenanigans

It seems to be that with Trolls, the ancestors and the descendents are basically the same people. They are recreated by the Mother Grub (I know that is totally wrong) using the information given. Pure conjecture of course, but that could explain why he only made 12.

**EMILY**

PMS MOOOOOOONDAAAAAAAAAY

**JESSICA**

Also, with the kids, John created all 8 of them, and it looks like he created all 8 of them for both worlds. It's a little weird when you look at it from this standpoint, however, Rose said that Skaia was able to take some liberties with the meteors. So instead of sending the Jake and Jane to the early 1900s and Roxy and Dirk to around the 80s, and John and co. to ~1997, it sent John and Jade to Jake and Jane's time, Jane and Jake to ~1997 and somehow Roxy and Dirk got sent to the future (or rather, for some reason).

(Did that make sense? I was basically restating the chart)

**EMILY**

BUT...movies

how did he know some of those movies?

**JESSICA**

Also, the whole future thing would not only explain the Condesce's influence (all starting with Betty Crocker corporation), but it would also explain why Roxy lives in a highly developed area when before her house was alone in the middle of a forest

Which movies? Cuz I was going to go there

Well, SJaHB

no SBaHJ

What confuses me the most is who were Roxy and Dirk's guardians? I thought they were Dave and Rose, but Dave and Rose went to the ~80s

If you mean the other movies, like the contemporary references, maybe it's like the Troll versions of them?

They could also have been influenced by their communications with Jane and Jake

**EMILY**

.com/watch?v=CeO8dwvfdBM holy shit

**JESSICA**

Something that kind of confuses me as well, is when Dirk walks up the stairs to the roof, the apartment building beneath him disappears, so could they actually have been in the future, but time ... shit... happened?

My goofy little picture of Captain Plumbthroat sippin' on his tea has been added to a group "Very Special Artists" ^^

Even with his grotesque two right hands

SO happy!

Ok, I gotta go do some cleaning now, I'll talk to you guys probably tomorrow

**EMILY**

oh...

**KALYN**

don't worry, I'll talk to you after my vendetta against tumblr's inability to count has taken off.

**EMILY**

yay!

**KALYN**

ok. tumblr can't count explained: I think what it does is mixes up notes for each post, so they become really inaccurate, but the average is basically the same. I went through and calculated (for each picture-based post) the number of notes that tumblr told me were there vs. the number of notes I counted myself. I omitted the seven posts that tumblr told me had no notes and whose notes were actually unaccounted for because they didn't show up anymore, but which I know for a fact were there before. So that left me with 100 posts to work with (a nice round number) and the average turned out to be 13.03 notes per post (my calculations) and 14.64 notes per post (tumblr's calculations). This is even including the gross exaggerations tumblr gave me (the biggest one having a 122 note difference between tumblr's lies and reality). anyway. I think I have sufficiently proven that I have no life.

**EMILY**

hahahahahaha

**KALYN**

How should I calculate the difference? like... hmmmmmmmmmm idk... I don't know if I can just..average the differences? or should I...hmm...

**EMILY**

question=

where did you find the one picture that i like

the...you say my gun is small it's all a matter of PERSPECTIVE

**KALYN**

of the hundred posts, here's a shorthand list of the differences between number of notes (tumblr's-mine) in order from least to greatest: -8, -3, -2(8), -1(14), 0(43), 1(12), 2(6), 3(4), 5(2), 6(3), 7(2), 10(2), 123

Which shows that more often than not, it tells me I have more notes than I do, and it gets the number correct more than any other amount difference, but most of the time it is still inaccurate. I don't really know what to do with this list though.

**KALYN**

I found both of the pictures in that post on Google images, most likely

**EMILY**

oh…

**KALYN**

why?

**EMILY**

just wondering

**KALYN**

back to Homestuck: so I was really confused by the chart because John only made ONE set of EIGHT kids; the only set of kids created were the ones made by John. And yet there are two different versions of them: one set was sent to Beta Earth, one to the post-scratch Alpha Earth. Rose explained that the Scratch made those portals able to make alternate universes (ie: The Alphaverse), but I didn't understand why there could be two sets of paradox babies. But Morgan explained it this way: They all went through the same portals. Rather, each baby went through its own portal, and it could only go through that portal once. It can't go through it again to end up in the second universe. But what if each portal leads to both universes at once? Like Schroedinger's cat, which is both alive and dead at the same time, these babies ended up in pre-scratch and post-scratch Earth at the same time, because simply going through that portal (which could go either to Beta or Alpha verse) caused them to end up in both universes, because the multiple outcomes created an offshoot reality. The difference between this offshoot and other offshoots we've seen is that both of these realities are completely legitimate and not doomed, like most of the branched timelines that occur from multiple outcomes. These realities can coexist (and in fact will, when the characters meet up and Skaia is replaced with the Beta version). So. I hope this explanation doesn't require a flow chart.

**EMILY**

hahaha

ummm what's the cat again?

btdubs=i liked the name changes in ht

holy shit you left?

but...taht's so mean

**KALYN**

sorry went to watch Hello Baby

which cat? Jaspers/Frigglish? GCAT? One of the mutant kittens?

oh you meant Schroedinger's cat.

**KALYN**

ok the whole deal with that is, hey I have this cat in a bag. You can't see the cat. You don't know if when you open the bag again, the cat will be alive or dead. That means there's multiple outcomes, and as far as reason goes, the cat is both alive and dead at the same time until that bag is opened and the true outcome presents itself. it's that theory that we're applying to both universes and the set of 8 paradox babies. the bag is the portal they entered, and the Alpha and Beta universes are the states of being (alive and dead), and because there were two possible outcomes, then they exist in both. Except instead of it just being this way in an abstract theory, it can be this way physically because of Homestuck's tendency to allow multiple universes and realities to exist simultaneously. I used this analogy to explain why there was only one set of paradox babies created and two realities in which they all existed.

Does that make sense?

And Rose kind of explained that the Scratch also allowed this to happen. It created the second universe and allowed the kids to exist in both.

**KALYN**

You know, Jessica said something a while back about the possible existence of multiple Cals. I highly doubt this is the case. Beta Bro I think created the original Cal, and then Cal like rode a rocket board to John in the ectolab right? And John sent him back with baby Dirk...oh, wait, that would create two Cals. One in Beta and one in Alpha. So yeah I don't think Bro did create Cal, which makes you wonder where he came from. I wonder why Dave's pony is smaller in the Alpha session? Does it shrink after a few hundred years?

Anyway, I was gonna make note of something Cal-related. In every "Bro. Roof. Now." line, doesn't it end with whoever's being summoned to the roof being ordered to bring Cal with them? "Bring Cal." "Bring the puppet." "Bring the juju." Yes? IDK.

**KALYN**

Morgan speculated a while ago about whether or not the double U's have ecto-selves that went back on meteors. After having a better understanding of the game's nature from Rose's explanation, I think that anyone who plays the game has ecto-selves provided they are not a void session. Whoever plays it probably affects it anyway and is affected by the game, I think it's a fair conclusion that, if anyone who plays the game does not fail to prototype, then they do have ecto-babies (granted they succeeded in the ectobiology part, which would make it all self-fulfilling, which is kind of how the game is driven). I don't think these players are special snowflakes who got ecto-selves, now that I think about it, because it seems Homestuck has been striving to not only tell the story about these unique universes, but to prove that no one group of kids is a particularly important or "main" group of characters. Sometimes they get pushed to the side. Sometimes they die. Sometimes their importance is replaced by the importance of another group of kids. I just think it's more of a story of this unique group of sessions. I feel like I'm rambling though trying to articulate myself, so I'll just shut up.

**KALYN**

Sorry, this is old but I just have to correct you: "They believed [travelling faster than the speed of light] was possible a while ago, if I remember correctly, they just doubly proved it last fall"

This was proven during an experiment that was unrelated to travelling faster than the speed of light. The particle they were sending arrived earlier than they expected it to, both times the experiment was carried out. It was a chance discovery. Not really HS related, but it bothered me.

**EMILY**

...

isn't uu a dude?

**EMILY**

OMGEEEEE KARKAT'S JEALOUS!

**…**

**JESSICA**

Best. Line. Ever! "I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL EMOTIONS AND UNAIRED GRIEVANCES AT PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY"

I have a strange feeling Karkat is trying to be kismeses with Dave

btw, hope you have read homestuck today!

**KALYN**

lol don't worry

**…..**

**JESSICA**

More great lines from karkat: "DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES?"

**KALYN**

oh shit it updated again didn't it

**JESSICA**

Yup

**KALYN**

Well I'm gonna read it probably tomorrow. I'm writing cracksmut right now.

**JESSICA**

Fun

It's great though.

**KALYN**

lawl. Was that as meant to be as deadpan as I read it?

**JESSICA**

I missed Karkat soooo muuuuch!

Which?

**KALYN**

"Fun"

**JESSICA**

Oh, well... no, but when I read it, it comes off that way too XD

**…..**

**JESSICA**

Maybe you can read the last update of Homestuck? It should just be three pages

The last is my favorite, mostly because of the picture

**KALYN**

ok I'll go do that haha

oh god my roommate is so fucking high ROFLMFAO she's never like this it's fucking hilarious XD

**JESSICA**

What?

**KALYN**

epic lawls

the world is moving and the tree branches look like stairs and a pair of hands with a knife so it was probably about to cut somebody

high as a kite and so fucking adorable, lmao

**JESSICA**

...

What?

**KALYN**

omg lmfao

I can't even

I'll read HS when she's settled haha

this is too fucking entertaining

**JESSICA**

ok...

**KALYN**

ok nevermind I feel like reading it now

the novelty's more or less worn off by this point, so I can get to it without being completely distracted

**JESSICA**

okey dokey

**KALYN**

Karkat said SNOG rofl

**JESSICA**

yeah, i noticed that oo

*too

Meh, my head is tight and I am feeling a little nauseated. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm going to bed

**KALYN**

oh ok gnight!

oh my god don't tell me

is Karkat saying he wants to "vacillate" with Dave?

Like...on that book cover, Karkat wants to be the buff guy on the left to Dave's lowblooded troll in the middle? Where Terezi is the girl in the middle?

Oh my god I love this so fucking much right now

I feel like Hussie's shipping more homo than hetero at the moment, rofl

like at least there's Dave/Terezi and I guess sort of Karkat/Terezi?

Yeah, definitely.

But then Dave/Karkat propositions and Dirk/Jake and of course Rose/Kanaya

What about John? Did Karkat forget all about him?

ROFuckingL!

I think he's just saying they should share Terezi, so I guess there's that, but I took it more as the book cover stated, which wouldn't be so. Terezi would be lowblooded guy in the middle and Dave and Karkat would be the people on either side.

But still. LOfuckingL!

**EMILY**

...what?

**KALYN**

READ IT!

Homestuck I mean haha

**EMILY**

i know

i like how karkat considers himself an expert in romance because he watches those movies

wow...

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

yeah

**EMILY**

interesting?

i really don't like terezi/dave

**KALYN**

I really don't mind it, ha

I don't see them going further than the cool friends they are now

But you know I really didn't like Terezi/Karkat before

now I'm okay with Terezi, so I'm cool with her moving in on my boys

**EMILY**

hahahaha

**KALYN**

Which I think is because I wrote her, ha

It's like when you personify someone, you're more sympathetic to them (ie: me playing the stupid cop in mock trial or Justin Bieber for Halloween)

so I guess the same deal applies

**EMILY**

...oh?

**KALYN**

yeah

I am laughing so hard right now because I feel like I need to reconsider my life choices

what the fuck am I writing?

MBLAQ cracksmut, what am I doing with my liiiiife!

Because I keep coming to a place where I'm like "How do I word this..." and I'm trying not to overuse words like "gentle" and "caress" which is getting difficult already and the sexytime has barely even fucking started and WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING

remember my soup song? I keep adlibbing other verses for it, but I've begun to drift from my original subject matter.

**KALYN**

original verse followed by new adlibs:

Hearty and delicious

Creamy or stock

it's soup

(duh duh)

Beefy or chicken

Noodles or rice

it's soup

(duh duh)

Vegetables are healthy

and legumes are good too

for your chili or your chowder

or your chicken noodle soup

it's soup

(duh duh)

it's soup

(duh duh)

Turkey or bacon

potatoes or beans

it's soup

(duh duh)

I like tomatoes

cucumbers are weird

in soup

(duh duh)

so are zucchinis

and a lot of great stuff

they just don't go in soup

because they are not good enough

in soup

(duh duh)

it's soup

(duh duh)

I should make korma

sometimes it counts

as soup

(duh duh)

korma is sexy

because of fanfiction

it's soup

(not really)

good chicken korma

can really make you horny

if you want a spicy dish

that you can really get it on with

it's korma

(duh duh)

not soup

(duh duh)

**KALYN**

Where is my mind?

oh message log. sometimes I feel like you're the only one who gets me.

I feel like Karkat on his forum, but without lashing out at past/future me (because unfortunately past me cannot properly communicate with future me)

you know what? I'm distracting myself. I should probably just get off this message board and write that stupid cracksmut without the influence of myself.

**EMILY**

...i think kalyn broke

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I know what you mean...

By the way, Kalyn, you need to have hamburg soup. That can have summer squash and zucchini in it and it is sooooo delicious! Zucchini goes really well in soup, especially since it's real flavors come out when you cook it.

Also "ROFuckingL"? What? "Rolling on fucking laughing?"

meh, whatever, 'sall cool.

The only ship I am not ok with is Terezi/Karkat. I just don't like it I'm cool with Terezi, and I think Terezi/Dave is cute in a pally sort of way. But Terezi/Karkat? NO!

**EMILY**

hm'yes

i thought of something else we need to do this summer

finish the homestuck pillows

**…..**

**JESSICA**

Homestuck update, and SO MANY BEAUTIFUL LINES!

"thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks"

Oh god it's beautiful!

I sense a kismesis forming here. Poor John has been left on the way side!

Teehee

**KALYN**

Omg, I know, I fucking love this so much right now

**KALYN**

oh epic lawls

/works/364882?view_adult=true

**KALYN**

/works/364298

**KALYN**

dude...I finally found that alien taboo fic I've been searching for.

lol well I guess I haven't been searching for it.

But remember when I said I wanted that?

Found it.

And someone who likes to draw...

**EMILY**

hermione can't draw

**KALYN**

ha

**KALYN**

Guise I think Karkat just jumped Dave...

Why does Kanaya always need to play auspitice?

Nobody needs you here, Kanaya! XO

**JESSICA**

"KARKAT: YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF ALL THIS HOSTILE TOUCHING AND GRABBING DO YOU?

KARKAT: I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU STRIDER, JUST STEP OFF."

**JESSICA**

lolololololololol

Auspistice is Kanaya's way, man! It's what she does!

**JESSICA**

Karkat's eyes flashed red too... Don't there eyes usually end up being the color of their blood? Isn't that a thing?

**KALYN**

yes

**JESSICA**

I wonder if this is part of that transformation?

**KALYN**

but I think that was more in rage

idk it could be I guess haha

I thought it was a flash of some sort of passionate rage

**JESSICA**

I know it was in rage, I was just wondering if that was something that could prompt it

**KALYN**

hm that's interesting...I'm not sure though? I think it's just a puberty thing.

So. Heh. Who knows.

so I'm wondering if this book doesn't sort of foreshadow some things that happened with the guardians? cause I remember some stuff in Mindfang's journal about her matesprit being some lowblood, and the book has a lowblood female and a notoriously vicious highblood female. could be totally wrong though...

**JESSICA**

That's a good point. I didn't even think of that. Was there the same sort of relationship with two of the male ancestors?

**KALYN**

not that I can remember

it mostly centered around mindfang, so we wouldn't have known much would we?

unless you know she could have totally mentioned something about it

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I haven't a clue though

**KALYN**

I'm just rereading their arguments for the beauty of it all

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

shut up and draw another penis

probably one of the best things I've ever read

**JESSICA**

teehee

It's a thing of beauty!

**KALYN**

no I love how Dave was all "fuck no, this isn't turning into anything, I refuse to let it," and the moment Karkat was like "fine!" Dave went all "nope, we're seeing this through."

**JESSICA**

i know

**KALYN**

all that matters to him is that Karkat is suffering

the true behaviors of a kismesis

haha

**JESSICA**

hopy shit

**KALYN**

what?

**JESSICA**

just reacting to what you said

**KALYN**

oh?

it's also me reading into the fanservice, which I notice has increased lately

**EMILY**

song has been stuck in my head

**JESSICA**

Please note, though, that I have been saying Karkat and Dave are showing signs of kismesis

**KALYN**

what, starting when?

not a bad song

**EMILY**

thanks!

**JESSICA**

At least 6 hours ago: "Homestuck update, and SO MANY BEAUTIFUL LINES!

"thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks"

Oh god it's beautiful!

I sense a kismesis forming here. Poor John has been left on the way side!"

**EMILY**

i think..

**KALYN**

ok so it started with this recent slew of updates

pretty sure that was a thing once Karkat burst in to pick a bone with Dave

and my comment before certainly wasn't being proposed as a suddenly new idea

I was just further...justifying the ship?

**JESSICA**

:P

**KALYN**

also I read some fanfiction today based on the updates from earlier, so...

haha

**JESSICA**

Well, after that pointless "argument," if that is what it can be called, I am going to read then go to bed. I shall talk to you anon! Good night

**KALYN**

anon?

**JESSICA**

is that not "soon"?

**KALYN**

as far as I know, it's short for anonymous, which mostly applies on the internet, which is where our primary interactions take place

**JESSICA**

nope, definitely "soon"

**EMILY**

BAHAHAHAHA

**JESSICA**

Remember Romeo and Juliet?

Come on! Totally a line the Nurse said!

**KALYN**

yeah I'm sure

it's just not used that way anymore

**JESSICA**

She did

**KALYN**

it's an antiquated definition

**JESSICA**

So?

**KALYN**

you're antiquated.

**JESSICA**

Doesn't mean I can't use it!

I know

**EMILY**

boo ya!

**JESSICA**

Highly

**KALYN**

it's ok.

**JESSICA**

I never listened to the Backstreet Boys or N'sync either

XP

**KALYN**

I used to be like "why can't I use ejaculation normally in a sentence without people just assuming I mean penis juice?"

**JESSICA**

I remember that

**EMILY**

tee hee

penis juice

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

Anyway! sorry for trying to sound poetic up there, and spicing up the normal parting line. Good night and I shall speak to you anonymous

**EMILY**

;)

**KALYN**

hahaha


	35. Random Tangents

Anything relevant is at the beginning, but then we kinda digress... It's rather random but if you enjoy reading that stuff, it's there. I found it mildly amusing.

* * *

><p><strong>EMILY<strong>

totally a kismesis man...

**MORGAN**

hahahaha karkat gets stuck in dave's cape lawl

**JESSICA**

Anybody else notice this? "KARKAT: MMMMMMFFFFFUUFFMMMMUFFIN"

I giggled

I giggled a lot

**KALYN**

lawl muffin

**KALYN**

oh we're about to check in on John and Jade. Something tells me they're gonna be a lot more clean-minded throughout their journey.

**KALYN**

lawl there's someone on tumblr called terezbian. genius.

**JESSICA**

lol, they still have Davesprite XD

I cannot wait until they all meet up again!

**KALYN**

that's true. there is Davesprite

NEITHER CAN I!

I think there's still a couple more intermissions before that'll happen though

**JESSICA**

and yet, I never want it to end. them coming together will be the beginning of the end, I"m sure

**KALYN**

it's already the beginning of the end

**KALYN**

aren't we in the final act?

or the penultimate?

**JESSICA**

shhhhhh, let me have my delusions

**KALYN**

lol

**…**

**JESSICA**

You dropped right out of law school to sell rutebagas I need a tangle buddy!

**KALYN**

?

**JESSICA**

D:

Captain Plumbthroat!

Now one of my top favorite Homestuck characters, lol

**KALYN**

oh hahhahahahaha

**JESSICA**

≤3

**EMILY**

≤/3

**JESSICA**

≤3≤

I'm embarrassed you squiddles have had to see my naked body

**KALYN**

the more you type things ending in 3, the more it looks like an ass

wtf?

you're listening to the squiddles soundtrack aren't you.

**JESSICA**

More Plumbthroat

Yes!

It pleases me

(which sounds a little creepy .)

but it does! Es gefaellt mir!

**EMILY**

uhh...jessica...

**JESSICA**

But, where are the unicorns today mommy? Where are the unicorns?

**EMILY**

what the hell was this "I'm embarrassed you squiddles have had to see my naked body"

**JESSICA**

:D

.com/track/plumbthroat-gives-chase

get acquainted with plumbthroat my friend

he's a pretty swell guy

**EMILY**

i will...soon

**JESSICA**

D':

**EMILY**

fine

sorry kalyn

**JESSICA**

?

**EMILY**

and macy who is now twitching

**JESSICA**

Where are you mommy? Are you with the unicorns? Mommy?

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!

**EMILY**

this is creepy as fuck

**JESSICA**

Yup

But oh so great

**EMILY**

hahaha

god, i could go to sleep now

**KALYN**

.com/ guys there's some great artwork here

**JESSICA**

I saw a Sai pic in there! and by pic, i mean the first image on a video thing

yay Sai

**KALYN**

yep ha

**JESSICA**

It's been so long since I've watched Naruto x.x

**KALYN**

same

**JESSICA**

God, this song is great!.com/track/let-the-squiddles-sleep-end-theme

Plumbthroat has a habit of killing insomniac squiddles. It's not a pretty sight.

**JESSICA**

Ok, another update

Just them playing that silly Ghostbuster II MMORPG. You know it's going to be terrible when it's based off the second one!

Anyway, Jade's avatar kinda reminds me of Bec Noir/Bec PM More PM than Jack, but still. Also, John is much more dense than Jade is, lol

They seem to be getting along much better than Rose and Dave

I think it's really hilarious that they are playing it with everyone, hahaha

**…**

**KALYN**

QAYare we shipping jade/davesprite now? she sees davesprite as different from dave, which is great. I think they should be shipped. Is Hussie offering ships left and right now?

**JESSICA**

ha!

I was thinking that to

*too

**KALYN**

wow "QAY" I really couldn't see what I was typing...

**JESSICA**

But she is right, they are two different people

Yeah, I was wondering what that was, but I was letting it slip, lol

**KALYN**

oh totally

dave couldn't possibly understand what davesprite had to go through

**JESSICA**

Yeah

lol, kinda Otto and The Tailorbird

*like minus "kinda"

x.x

**KALYN**

how?

one's a brobot and never had human experiences...

I'm talking about Davesprite who had to live in a doomed timeline where his best bro was dead.

**JESSICA**

... I wish you would stop poking holes into everything I say .

**KALYN**

maybe I would if you weren't so wrong all the time

**JESSICA**

Ow!

**KALYN**

Yeah. Take it, bitch.

I'm sorry.

**JESSICA**

:(

:'(

**KALYN**

I hate it when you guys communicate in faces!

Do you know I have to type those when there are no words with them?

Otherwise HT doesn't make any sense!

**JESSICA**

lol

Hey! I don't do it often!

**KALYN**

I know, but it happens enough.

Like if there's just a face and nothing else.

**JESSICA**

I hate Facebook and it's lack understanding TIME!

**KALYN**

ha

**EMILY**

BOO YA

but you guys do that to me!

**KALYN**

what, speak in faces?

you do it way more!

worst offender!

**EMILY**

poking holes in everything i say

**JESSICA**

lol

see? you're not alone!

**KALYN**

oh haha

nah you know how I am

I find the holes

**EMILY**

do what?

**KALYN**

I don't poke them

**JESSICA**

fine, you rip them open!

**KALYN**

hm, this conversation is spiraling out of my control

**JESSICA**

Yay!

**EMILY**

YAY!

**KALYN**

But hey. Have either of you ever found a hole in one of my theories?

**EMILY**

jessica-i meant possibly

**JESSICA**

Uuuuuuh

Probably not...

You perfect bitch

**EMILY**

YEAH

**JESSICA**

Stop being so clear headed when you talk!

**EMILY**

(you weren't talking to me right)

apparetnly not

**JESSICA**

Of course I was Emily

all of that was directed at you

**KALYN**

lol

**EMILY**

AND I JACK

THE PUMPKIN KING

**JESSICA**

Flash! AaAAh He'll save every one of us!

**KALYN**

hey.

So.

today in class

this chick's stuff fell off her desk when she walked away from it

and when she came back, this guy pointed to me and was like "she knocked it down"

**EMILY**

huuh?

**KALYN**

then she moved her desk over a bit and walked away again and it fell off again

and the guy said to me, "again? jeez, you just whipped there and back!"

and I was like "I'm a flash stepper."

**EMILY**

GOD THIS ROOOOOCKS!

**KALYN**

?

**JESSICA**

Lol, how did he react? Like a boss or just like "cool"

**EMILY**

nightmare before christmas

**KALYN**

nah, we had a little laugh

shared a chuckle

**EMILY**

but like...it's the cd of covers

**JESSICA**

Emily!

**EMILY**

sorry

HAHA OMG KALYN THAT IS SO FUNY

*FUNNT

*FUNNY

**KALYN**

YOU'RE FUNNT

**EMILY**

PLEASE TELL US MORE WHILE I SIT IN THE CORNER AND TALK TO MYSELF

**KALYN**

If I could like this message...

**EMILY**

hahahaha

**JESSICA**

Hahaha

**EMILY**

quick somebody put this as a status

**JESSICA**

I got it!

**EMILY**

pimpin

this pirate shit is kinda annoying me now...

CHANGING IT!

**JESSICA**

I can't properly say "body" in my head anymore D:

**KALYN**

why?

**EMILY**

without it being nasty

?

**JESSICA**

I think it's Plumbthroat's fault, and that Flash Gordon song by Queen

They say it so distinctly and oddly that my brain refuses to not say it that way

**KALYN**

You should change your inner voice to nigel thornberry

**JESSICA**

yup

NO!

I am not having Tim Curry be my personal narrator!

He's a cool dude, but...

**EMILY**

OH MY GOD

I WANT FRANK N FURTER TO BE MY NARRATOR

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

I changed mine to...oh who was it...

I think Zuko's uncle.

once.

all day.

**EMILY**

hahaha

i wish i could do that

but mine's always...ne

*me

**JESSICA**

I can't do it for long

**KALYN**

yeah mine is usually too, but if you keep doing it you eventually find it hard to break the habit

lol

**JESSICA**

Unless I am actually going through a conversation in my head, then it's usually my voice

*otherwise

**KALYN**

you'd be surprised how capable you are when you have fucking nothing to do or think about

**JESSICA**

I don't doubt it

Random question, how different does your voice sound like to you than it does to others? Like, how surprised are you to hear your voice on recordings?

**EMILY**

super surprised

i usually think my voice is higher than it is in recording

s

**KALYN**

the timbre of my voice isn't as rich on recordings. it makes me sad.

**JESSICA**

yeah

My voice almost sounds, "thick"?

**KALYN**

but I'm a fucking narcissist, I need those doses of reality to keep my ego in check

they're just like little reminders.

**JESSICA**

Haha

We love you anyway

**KALYN**

"hey. you're not quite the smooth chocolate vocalist you often think you are. so, you know...stay chill."

**EMILY**

hahahaha

bitch

**JESSICA**

Pssh, but your singing voice is killer

**KALYN**

but my speaking voice is so dry.

**JESSICA**

Eh

**EMILY**

like mine

**KALYN**

I don't think yours is dry

**EMILY**

oh?

i was saying my singing voice was killer too...

**JESSICA**

Nah

**KALYN**

ah, that was a bit delayed then haha

**JESSICA**

Oh, haha, define "killer" XD

**EMILY**

FUCKIN AMAZING!

**JESSICA**

When I'm actually trying, I can only define my singing voice as "sweet"

not "awesome" sweet, but regular ol' sweet

**KALYN**

I think I understand that, because I used to call it sweet too.

like certain singing styles

**EMILY**

…

:(

**JESSICA**

What?

**KALYN**

?

**EMILY**

MY VOICE IS BEAUTIFUL

**KALYN**

Nightmare Before Christmas?oh

**JESSICA**

Used to call what sweet? The singing style?

**KALYN**

yes? I think so?

it was the best word I had for it

**JESSICA**

Ha

**KALYN**

in my inexperience

**EMILY**

and oogie boogie's song is still my favorite from that movie

**JESSICA**

Yeah, not quite rich, but not bad

Oh? What do you call it now?

**KALYN**

Wow, just realized that I exaggerate a lot about myself in text, even the narcissism.

I don't ever think I'm a "smooth chocolate vocalist" wtf

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

**EMILY**

hahahaha

i like chocolate

**EMILY**

my teeth hurt

**KALYN**

me too

oh

**EMILY**

i need to brush them

**KALYN**

um

**JESSICA**

Who doesn't? Crazy people, that's who

**KALYN**

me too

**EMILY**

i bit my cheeck

**JESSICA**

Loves chocoloate that is

**KALYN**

(or people allergic to chocolate)

**EMILY**

it bled a lot

**JESSICA**

Crazy people

**KALYN**

? how did you manage that?

lawl Jess

**JESSICA**

Because there could be no natural way a person can be allergic to chocolate

**EMILY**

chewing on stuff

**KALYN**

Chewing on what? Glass?

**JESSICA**

Have you never bit your cheek Kalyn?

**KALYN**

Not to make it bleed!

**JESSICA**

Really?

**KALYN**

No!

**JESSICA**

weirdo

**EMILY**

just regular chewing

**KALYN**

-scoffs-

**EMILY**

and you back teeth hit your cheek

**KALYN**

Yes, I've done that, but it doesn't bleed!

**JESSICA**

I haven't done it in a long while, but I have

**EMILY**

i'm surprised it did this time

i must have been biting down hard

chewing on wax lips

**KALYN**

It was wax lips?

lol

Is that why you didn't say it right away?

**EMILY**

yup

they had vampire fangs

**KALYN**

OSM

**EMILY**

only santa may (kiss my ass)

?

obviously sarah miller

**JESSICA**

Oh shit money

**EMILY**

olive sans margeritta

FUCK

**JESSICA**

On stranger mills

**EMILY**

out sand MEGADEATH

i like that last one

**…**

**JESSICA**

Random note. I think, if I were to be a despot, I would want my people to be super fucking happy

**EMILY**

(what's despot?)

**JESSICA**

Cruel dictator

which is ironic, lol

**EMILY**

ooooooh

h'ok

**KALYN**

I'm with Jessica on that one.

**EMILY**

wasn't i going to buy russia?

then north korea?

**JESSICA**

right, yeah

**EMILY**

should probably work on that

**KALYN**

lol

**JESSICA**

so, if you have complete control over your people, make them super happy, and not in the "Ignorance is bliss" kinda way

**EMILY**

sure

but everybody's gotta move out

**EMILY**

cause i ain't sharing with scary russians

**KALYN**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

Russians aren't that scary

**EMILY**

they smell like soup

**JESSICA**

They're like, giant brown bears...that want to huggle you to death

**EMILY**

i'm gonna need a lot of febrezze

FUCK

**JESSICA**

lololol

**EMILY**

they're bears on unicycles

**JESSICA**

MURDER YOU!

MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

I'LL COME IN THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, SILENTLY

**EMILY**

god damn youtube still doesn't have that clip

just wait

**JESSICA**

I'll creep over to your light switch

**KALYN**

?

**JESSICA**

Turn on the light, waking you up, so you can see the face of your killer before you die!


	36. The Sylph of Light

We got confused by the beta trolls a bit, especially when Aranea's ramblings were still updating and we had lots of questions.

* * *

><p><strong>EMILY<strong>

fact=patron saint of hookers is saint nicholas aka santa

**EMILY**

"DAVE: hey dont be saying shit about the mayor

DAVE: the mayor rules hes like my best fucking friend"

**EMILY**

from today's masteryorgi video, dave does actually say that...

**JESSICA**

Hahahahaha, just watched that video! I did kinda wonder about John with all that, lololol

**KALYN**

Whaaaat?

Hey, so, on the HS update, I think Jade's dead dream self met the beta trolls in the void. Do you think they're all stuck there, since they scratched and all?

**JESSICA**

What are you going on about?

**KALYN**

looks like John's encountered them a bit too in his dreams

the update today guys. Jeez.

actually it's from yesterday

**JESSICA**

When did Jade's dream self meet them?

What are you basing this on?

**JESSICA**

THIS MAKES NO SENSE! The little list on the side says there is nothing new, click the top one, goes to Jade's avatar, but there is a forward doohicky!

what is this madness?

**EMILY**

weird, i got an update

**KALYN**

hm. something wrong? because I'm definitely reading it right now.

**JESSICA**

"JADE: just some slight differences in personality i guess

JOHN: he still raps sometimes."

**JESSICA**

lolololol

**KALYN**

lol Jade and Davesprite are totally a ship.

JOHN: whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs.

John is so cute! I kind of love how real this conversation is.

**EMILY**

i liked that

**KALYN**

It's quite heartfelt for this comic.

It's the most *real* thing I think I've seen!

**EMILY**

AAAAAHHHHH

**JESSICA**

::::'(

**KALYN**

um?

**JESSICA**

John!

He doesn't even remember Vriska's name!

**KALYN**

I'm sure he does

but I don't think Jade really knew her

**JESSICA**

He still could have said her name *pouts*

Why do they have to throw in some realism there? Crash that ship right out of the day-old water!

But, yeah, it's nice to see their conversation

Which I realize doesn't sound as cool now as it did in my head .

**KALYN**

huh?

**JESSICA**

Ok, which part are you confused at?

**KALYN**

last sentence

**JESSICA**

"their" John and Jade

**KALYN**

no. the part after that.

unless Facebook rearranged it

**JESSICA**

Yeah

**KALYN**

which I think I can figure out where it goes if that's the case

so now it makes more sense

**….**

**KALYN**

so about the Homestuck update. John has now encountered a sleepfloating Roxy, but I'm not sure what that expression at the end means. His expression is himself...to infinity.

Although he is kind of grinning like an idiot.

OMG wouldn't it be great if Roxy and John ended up together.

**KALYN**

Because obviously their other options are a bit unavailable (Jake is currently pursuing the relationship with Dirk and Rose is totally with Kanaya)... And I listed those two because 1) they're pretty much the counterparts for each other (Jake/John and Rose/Roxy) and 2) they both (John and Roxy) have expressed considering the possibility of pursuing some sort of courtship with Rose/Jake. So there was my line of thought there.

**JESSICA**

To be honest, I sort of wondered if they would get together, but I thought my theory was baseless. And stupid, lol. Instead of Dad she gets with John, yay! Because they are basically the same person, right? see, stupid and baseless

mostly stupid

**KALYN**

Yeah, that is a bit...they're not the same person. But John is the most related to Dad, beyond Jane, so he's like second-best.

**JESSICA**

Either way, this update was silly, mostly because of the flailing arms and doing nothing to get out of the way other than that, lol

Homestuck Update

and all I gotta say is "Meenah"? What sorta name is that? It's kinda...normal! Spelled differently, but normal D: This can't be!

"MEENAH: be all a pajama party up in here today"

Huh...Meenah is really different from Fef, which isn't surprising, really

Kinda funny to see Fef's fish puns and typing quirk with a different attitude though

Huntin' for the halibut

**JESSICA**

Ok! Real quick (and I hate how this is lumped together with that first sentence up there, the "Either way..." because this is five hours later. Facebook is fucking retarded. You type something and it's a few seconds it makes a new little time frame for it, but five hours? Nah, lump it all together! Yay!) ANYWAY! Roxy is asleep, but she was awake when she met Meenah before, did she wake up again?

Or, GASP! This is before Roxy wakes up, that would make a lot of sense. So, either Roxy fell back asleep, or John woke her up saving her life.

**KALYN**

My guess is the latter, since Roxy meets Meenah for the first time when she falls in the void between the screens.

But yeah now that she's talking? I definitely like Meenah.

She's a bit crude though, but beyond that.

**KALYN**

(before I forget, there's a fic I found that I like. Called Space Bro. /tagged/space_bro/chronoso now I don't have to worry about forgetting it.)

**JESSICA**

lol

What is this, anyway?

**JESSICA**

Homestuck update

Roxy's face was great, gotta say. Also, the beta trolls weren't all great! Meenah's trying to kill roxy for no good reason D:

**JESSICA**

So, totally had a dream last night where I was taking a math final exam and I was never going to finish it! Time was ticking away, but no one was being particularly quiet, which was weird since it was Mr. Williams' class. There were six of us, all lined up in a row along a wall. There were no other desks in the room except all the way on the other side. It was a decently sized room. There were "super long" one page problems, but there were 18 of them! And then three pages of multiple choice questions. We only had 2 hours to complete the test D:

I had twenty minutes left and I tried to make one final push, but then I decided to give up when there was only five minutes. There was no way I was going to finish it, and we couldn't go over time x.x

On the way out of the room, they were playing "The Sharpest Lives" by MCR over the intercom system. What was weird and cool was that it was spot on, but there was no MCR playing in real life It was AMAZING! Anyway, I wanted to get that out of my system.

**JESSICA**

Ok, Homestuck update again

This one focuses on Terezi! Yay! Nothing's said (yet), but Terezi is no longer blind, and she's crying. Vriska's messaging her. I think this Dream Bubble is in a world where Vriska and Terezi never became bitter enemies like they did. Either Vriska never sent Tavros over a cliff or Terezi never tried to avenge him. There are my thoughts on the matter.

**JESSICA**

Also, her walls say "Dead Heads" in bright red over and over again. Do you remember what her walls said before? Or did they just have drawings all over them. Also, Lemonsnout seems bigger than before. Ok, go!

**JESSICA**

I'm kinda stupid x.x I forgot that the bright red eyes means that Terezi is blind. So of course she isn't buddy pals with Vriska, sigh

Aranea...she speaks in a confusing manner. She's just all over the place!

**EMILY**

SO MANY HOMESTUCK SPOILERS I HAVEN'T READ THIS ALL WEEKEND. Still won't until I get home.

**MORGAN**

so this is aranea pre-scratch... so beta aranea... that's what I'm assuming anyway, and I don't think it's much of a leap. So our previous suspicions about these trolls were correct?

**EMILY**

shit now i have to read all this...

well holy shit that didn't take long

**KALYN**

I think that's what's going on. The dead Beta trolls (in the void because they were obliterated into eternity after scratching) are making contact with the other players through dream bubbles (which exist in the void) and uh...I think Meenah's the one who orchestrated the Scratch, because when she heard she was dead she was happy because it "meant her plan worked" and Jessica, I agree with your statement about Aranea. Mainly though it's her use of vague pronouns that confuses me. I couldn't tell whose ancestor she was saying she was. And she wasn't all that clear on where/when exactly she came from.

**…..**

**KALYN**

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says 'I'll have a glass of H2O"

The second scientist says 'I'll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it's the chemical formula for water and all, but it's the end of the day and there's really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work"

The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.

Seriously and why did they go to a bar if they were both getting water

**KALYN**

goh shit guise remember when I said I thought Tavros would be perfect for Dante to voice act for? Apparently everyone's been telling him he should do that.

**JESSICA**

WHAT THE HELL? I was all alone all weekend, and then suddenly you guys decide to get on at the same time What is this? I feel like you're trying to tell me something

**JESSICA**

lol, ok, just read all of that, because there was suddenly SO MUCH OF IT! and after all of that, I have nothing to really add, lol

I think it would be interesting if Dante voice acted Tavros, although, i think i have been corrupted by Master Yorgi. I always imagine his voice for Tavros, Gamzee and Eridan. Those are my head canon now

**EMILY**

loved that bar joke thingy

**…**

**JESSICA**

Homestuck update and this is quite noteworthy

Aranea: "The mem8ers of your party, and one noteworthy fugitive, are the sole survivors."

Who's the fugitive?

I kinda wonder if it is UU or uu

**EMILY**

mah thoughts

**JESSICA**

Aaaaaw! "GC: 3V3N THOUGH SH3 D1D SOM3 B4D TH1NGS 4ND W4S TOT4LLY 1MPOSS1BL3 MOST OF TH3 T1M3

GC: 1 W1SH SH3 W4SNT D34D"

**EMILY**

but idk though

i don't really think it is one of them though

because..they are from different universes 1 and 2 what about the other Uu? what are they?

**JESSICA**

what? Uu?

**EMILY**

since UU and uu are the same species

i don't think it's that

*them

**JESSICA**

I can't remember, was it confirmed that they were from a different universe or species? I thought all that was confirmed was that they had their own session. I could be wrong, but I don't remember.

**EMILY**

different session, i think that's it

but hey, can you translate what ...that last chick..areaerfnda, what she said into emily?

**JESSICA**

lol, i haven't finished everything, but i'll try is there any part in particular you are having trouble with?

**EMILY**

ummm her long stuff

i was reading it

but...not really?

kinda like in one ear and out the other...but...not

if that makes sense

**JESSICA**

i gotcha, i was having a little trouble with that too, had to reread paragraphs then

ok, let me go through this all again, see what i can boil it down to. I'll go in order for the audience, try to make it less confusing in the long run, lol

**KALYN**

I (morgan) am just going to glaze over what she's basically saying about the "choices"... which is just like... an idea of how the universe works, but doesn't have to do specifically with their specific sessions

terezi basically felt limited by her abilities, because she thought "were those really my only two choices?"

and then aranea was like, well, if you had every possible choice in the world, what kind of future would you see? just like... hazy vague possible decisions

**JESSICA**

It would be a jumbled mess, basically

**KALYN**

and then nothing would be sure or definite, and there would be a fuck ton of offshoot universes that are doomed to failure because most choices would produce an undesired outcome that isn't fated to succeed.

and then she made that vein/capillary analogy

**JESSICA**

guh, thanks morgan for totally derailing me x.x

**KALYN**

sorry

did it help at all, or did i just match the rambling?

**JESSICA**

I was going to do something profound for once and you're like "Nope can't have that!"

**KALYN**

(side note: it sounds like people above us are having sex (AGAIN!))

**EMILY**

go ahead though cause i think i'm still kinda confused

BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW

**JESSICA**

(maybe they are?)

**KALYN**

YEAH, JESSICa go ahead and do your explanation

**JESSICA**

lol, ok

**KALYN**

... didn't realize caps was still on till it was too late XP

(hahahahahahahaha our suitemates are banging on the ceiling now)

**EMILY**

boo ya

just ordered donnie darko, my neighbor totoro, and now and then (on dvd) from amazon!

**KALYN**

nice

**JESSICA**

with the choices thing, since Morgan began with that, part of what I think Aranea means is that you have a main artery or vein, which sustains life (DAMNIT EMILY UNORDER DONNIE DARKO! THAT WAS MY SURPRISE FOR YOU D:)

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

hahahahahahalawl

**EMILY**

like fo rizzles?

**JESSICA**

(yes, fo rizzles, if you all ready ordered it though, Morgan, do you and Kalyn want a copy?)

Anyway

**KALYN**

uh... i mean i guess? sure?

**EMILY**

(i can unorder it, but if they want one)

**KALYN**

honestly, we probably wont watch it ever

we've already seen it, and it's great and all, but that's a cult following we're gonna have to pass on

**JESSICA**

then why don't you unorder it emily?

and i'm not in it for the cult following, don't put it like that x.x

**EMILY**

has been unordered

**KALYN**

um, okay...

**EMILY**

WELL HOLY SHIT THANKS JESSICA!

**KALYN**

consider it un-put.

**JESSICA**

toal derailment and facebok is refusing to work properly for me

**KALYN**

sad

**EMILY**

:(

**JESSICA**

can we switch over to skype? I can copy and paste the conversation for kalyn

**KALYN**

alrighty then

**EMILY**

sho?

SHO

**ON SKYPE**

**KALYN**

this one?

**JESSICA**

su-ah

**EMILY**

yeah daaaalink

**JESSICA**

"Daaaahlik!"

"Destroy, destroy"

**KALYN**

exteeerminate exteeeeeerrrrminate

lawl, that was norma, she had to take over there

**JESSICA**

thank you, i knew that was wrong

THANK YOU NORMA AND YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF DOCTOR WHO! These philistines don't know what they're missing out on

**KALYN**

none of us know what philistines is... the only thing we can muster up is "I think that's a biblical thing."

**JESSICA**

haha, philistine is basically "culturally ignorant"

**KALYN**

oh well then

**EMILY**

sorry

**JESSICA**

:P

**EMILY**

just watching shinee here

**KALYN**

let's go to korea, see who's culturally ignorant then

**JESSICA**

uuuuuh, all of us?

**EMILY**

i fail epically at chopsticks...

**JESSICA**

because you get all of your information for K-Dramas?

**KALYN**

no?

**EMILY**

i get my info from simon and martina

**KALYN**

btw, I pwned chopsticks for the first time ever a few days ago

**JESSICA**

I've pwned chopsticks for a few years now

**KALYN**

that's a pretty good source...

**EMILY**

my fingers don't like to do something they don't do often?

**KALYN**

shut up jessica, you and your 'cultural enlightenment' or whatever XP

**EMILY**

MY FINGERS DON'T OBEY ME

**KALYN**

uh…

**JESSICA**

soooo

I also used chopsticks for chinese food (which we ate a lot in Belgium) since I was 8

**KALYN**

well, i never got that experience. cause i was culturally deprived as a child

soooooo

**EMILY**

yeah

i...had sheep

sorta

**KALYN**

uh... i'm not sure what that's supposed to mean

**EMILY**

weren't technicaly ours

**KALYN**

you had sheep.

**EMILY**

but the family's

**KALYN**

so this kind of deviates from chopsticks.

**EMILY**

yeah i know

**KALYN**

are you relating sheep to cultural non-ignorance/

?

**EMILY**

i dunno

jessica used chopsticks i had sheep

**KALYN**

well okay then

**EMILY**

and shit ton of feral cats

**KALYN**

hahaha

**EMILY**

they all used our room

just...so many of them

like 20

**KALYN**

anyway, did jessica want to offer a perfectly railed explanation of homestuck today?

**EMILY**

oh yeah

**JESSICA**

if you guys don't mind calming your shit while i do so, and let me type without being totally left out of the conversation : D

**EMILY**

SORRY

**JESSICA**

ok, so, we were talking about Terezi's choices

**KALYN**

oh, well then

yep

choices

**JESSICA**

Aranea said that you could look at it from the standpoint of blood vessels and arteries. The main artery is what it needed to sustain life (reality/universe/the game). If the choices can either keep them going down that path or lead to (omg i get to actually use this reference : D) tangent universes which are doomed to fail

If Terezi could see all of the possibilities, or if all of the possibilities were offered as choices, then instead of a main artery with some off shoots, you would have what would basically be a giant blood filled mat

the correct path would be impossible to find

**EMILY**

oh…

**JESSICA**

does that make sense?

**KALYN**

oh hell deep conversation here

This'll be fun to format.

**EMILY**

i think?

**KALYN**

I still need to read the whole thing. morgan was reading it aloud, but I couldn't follow because of how boring it sounded.

**JESSICA**

you know kalyn, i did say i would cover the skype stuff, if you want

**KALYN**

ok

that's fine

**JESSICA**

osm ()

emily, i am going to take your silence as confirmation that my above stuff made sense and move on to whatever else Aranea said that may or may not have made sense

**EMILY**

oh ok

**KALYN**

guise I think one of the trolls from either the beta session or the UU/uu session somehow survived their own clusterfuck. Actually...you probably already addressed this, I haven't read your conversation yet.

**JESSICA**

I would just like to throw this out there real quick, but I feel that Aranea's sessions "trouble maker" was Meenah, although there are 10 other choices

**KALYN**

I agree, and so did Morgan

**JESSICA**

ok, cool

looking back through, it seems that most of what Aranea said had to do with the blood analogy

it's kinda weird. Both Vriska and Aranea are heroes of Light but the kids and their counterparts are not heroes of the same alignment. I wonder if the other trolls align the same way

**KALYN**

oh wow I am so glad I could follow Aranea's long spiel of questions, because I do not want to read that more than once.

quite wordy.

**EMILY**

h'oh yeah

**JESSICA**

indeed

**KALYN**

There's something really different about the trolls' sessions and players compared to the kids'. Because of things like they have the same alignments or whatever. Actually, Areana said something like she was pretty much Vriska or like Vriska is who she would be had they switched places...

You know how in Alternia, the trolls were almost exactly like their ancestors?

Like they were pretty much the same.

**EMILY**

(my legs are ultra smooth tonight)

**KALYN**

But Aranea is Vriska's "ancestor" as she clarified

So she is Mindfang, but completely different from Mindfang, who is much more like Vriska.

So in that vein, could we come to the conclusion that it's similar in the beta troll universe?

And Vriska's counterpart in this session is actually much more like Aranea?

**EMILY**

holy shit what

**JESSICA**

Didn't Karkat only make 6 trolls?

**KALYN**

Or do you think YOU MEAN TWELVE

Or do you think like...two versions of each went into one session or something?

**JESSICA**

I thought we mentioned somewhere that there were only 6

**KALYN**

WHY WOULD THERE ONLY BE SIX.

There are twelve trolls.

**JESSICA**

Anyway, all she was saying was that they are the same person genetically, but different because of their different upbringing

**KALYN**

ok

**JESSICA**

I know there were twelve trolls

oh, lawl

**KALYN**

Yes, he made twelve trolls, but see that doesn't mean that the beta trolls didn't make their own batch of twelve ectogrubs.

**EMILY**

yes

**JESSICA**

what about the Alpha kids? They were created by John

**KALYN**

The reason John made 8 ectobabies instead of just the 4 from his session was that the Scratch and the universe knew that the alpha kids' session would be void, so they wouldn't get a chance to make their own ectobabies.

It relied on John to make them instead.

**EMILY**

..ok

**KALYN**

That was one of the things Rose clarified as unique about their sessions.

Make sense?

**EMILY**

OH

SO

CURIOUS YEEEEAAAH

**KALYN**

lol

and I was anticipating an epiphany.

**JESSICA**

I guess, I was just, you know . got mixed up with troll biology

how the ancestors and decendents are basically the same trolls

so it was unnecessary to create 24

i sometimes have the same problem with Rose as I did with Aranea x.x Just sorta glance over it and if I want to understand I gotta read it again

**KALYN**

yeah, that's what's confusing me. Vriska is just like Mindfang (she's the best example to use here, but they all work) and yet not at all like Aranea. I wonder if there are ancestors in the beta troll verse that are exactly like their descendants the players. But at the same time, maybe it really is just...

idk

like them. but how they would have ended up in the alternate universe with the crazy different upbringing.

and it's more just troll tradition to follow in the footsteps of your ancestor.

**EMILY**

random but interesting, i'm gonna try this now .com/watch?v=eWLWOSgYlG8

**JESSICA**

that's what i was saying, the same biologically, but totally different because of how they were raised

it's kinda philosophical

**KALYN**

so despite what exact troll was wherever, this is how it would have turned out.

They're probably all exactly the same.

There are four versions of each troll going around.

but half of them are ectogrubs.

**JESSICA**

yup

that's how i read it

**KALYN**

and a different half of them are split up into two separate personalities each.

Ok, I'm done with the headache. Can we talk about troll Jesus?

**JESSICA**

you lost me there

**KALYN**

I wanna talk about angry troll Jesus.

aka: Karkat/the Sufferer/possible uu

**JESSICA**

oh...what is there to talk about?

**KALYN**

IDK

**JESSICA**

not that i'm against it

**KALYN**

I just find him interesting

**JESSICA**

or is it the fact that Aranea has the sufferer symbol

**KALYN**

I feel like there should be something to talk about

oh yes

**JESSICA**

I wonder if Meenah does as well?

**KALYN**

hmmmmm

speaking of Meenah, she would be the exception to that whole thing about personalities being the same in one universe...because she's more like the Condesce, and Feferi isn't like either of them, being totally not ruthless and everything.

Other trolls in Alternia were just like their ancestors in personality.

Fef isn't.

But this is a case where the alternate universe troll's personality maybe does carry over into the alpha verse

**JESSICA**

True, but Meenah is the opposite of Fef, and Aranea is the opposite of Vriska

**KALYN**

I guess, but see Meenah=the Condesce, and you can see that similarity

**JESSICA**

I do

**KALYN**

But there isn't quite a similarity that I've seen between Aranea and Mindfang

unless Mindfang did turn out to be more gentle and mild mannered than Vriska in the long run

but I'm not so sure that's the case

I think Vriska takes after her

**JESSICA**

Well, it wouldn't be in the long run, it would have been when she was younger

we only saw Mindfang when she was older

wait...that doesn't make a whole lot of sense :/

**KALYN**

ok so you're saying she could have started out as Aranea, and then just became more like Vriska./

bit confusing.

**EMILY**

i got that shiz

**JESSICA**

that was sort of what i was getting if we were going to compare Meenah to the Condesce, but then i took away the whole "long run" thing, which was important for the Meenah/Condesce theory

I'm sure having Fuschia blood does something to you

**KALYN**

feh. fucking trolls with their ancestry and their fanfiction and their history and their twelve players and their alternate universes and their dead sessions and their void and their dream bubbles and their signless jewelry and their ectobiology and their quadrants and their vastly different universal incarnations and their extra session and their same alignments and their violence and their capillary timelines and their odd anatomy and their...

I'm gonna go to sleep now.

I love ya'll.

**EMILY**

NACHT

**…**

**JESSICA**

Bwah! Real quick! Meenah had no Signless jewelry!

**KALYN**

ok! I know!

**JESSICA**

why did you let me go back through and look for it?

**KALYN**

the double U's have signless signs though

uhh I didn't know you were looking haha

**JESSICA**

does uu?

**KALYN**

I just knew Aranea had it, but see Mindfang wasn't a supporter.

**JESSICA**

or did we just extrapolate that?

**KALYN**

I feel like Aranea is the one throwing a wrench in the whole system thus far.

**JESSICA**

no, she wasn't

well, it doesn't help that we've only seen 1/6 of the population, lol

**KALYN**

It'll be interesting to see the other trolls though. I'm quite excited to see Tavros' counterpart.

**JESSICA**

he'll probably be like Rufio

**KALYN**

I want him to be.

**EMILY**

oh yeah

**KALYN**

I'm interested in Gamzee too, and I guess all of them.

Sollux.

uh

**EMILY**

random head ache there

**KALYN**

haven't even thought about Kanaya

**EMILY**

terezi will be interesting

ERIDAN TOO

**KALYN**

oh es

y^

**JESSICA**

i think Kanaya will be very interesting

**EMILY**

HOLY EQUIUS!

**KALYN**

lawl

Nepeta

Aradia

**JESSICA**

the Dolorose was very motherly, and so is Kanaya

**KALYN**

Now that we've successfully named them all... lo

l

**JESSICA**

good work team!

**KALYN**

I think I'm most interested in Tavros' and Sollux' counterparts.

and of course karkat

**JESSICA**

I kinda wonder if Gamzee's counterpart will be chill? Because Gamzee was only really chill because of the sopor and faygo

maybe the counterpart doesn't need that?

**KALYN**

I can see him being like ...oh yeah, different society

**JESSICA**

although, we haven't seen Gamzee and his sopor deprived self

**EMILY**

very good point raised there buddy

**KALYN**

hm

ok

bed

love you!

**JESSICA**

he's had a year to detox

LOVE YOU TOO!

**EMILY**

nacht

oooh goodness

we haven't seen gamzee yet

**JESSICA**

nope

not at all

**EMILY**

i'm excited for that reunion

**JESSICA**

yeah

teehee

Kanaya

I wonder if she will withold sawing him in two?

**EMILY**

hopefully!

sorry jessica too tired, i'm going to sleep now!

nacht

**JESSICA**

that's cool

i'm just editing the Homestuck Therapy

GOOD NIGHT! Sleep well

Love you

**ON FACEBOOK**

**EMILY**

wait

what's the calignious quadrant?

**JESSICA**

spades?

**EMILY**

ok

**JESSICA**

i think that's another term for it

**EMILY**

yeah

new masteryorgi video

**JESSICA**

woo!

oh, shop drop and roll?

**JESSICA**

that's not new...

**EMILY**

nope

try harder

**JESSICA**

kinda want a snack...-what?

**EMILY**

that's what it's called

**JESSICA**

oh...

did you not get caliginous from the content of the video?

**EMILY**

i asked before that

**JESSICA**

oh, ok, gotcha

**…**

**JESSICA**

ok, Homestuck update

and, new class? "AG: My perspective is informed 8y my class and aspect. It was to my advantage as a healer to see things a little differently" or is she being general? or did i just forget a class

**EMILY**

meh dunno

**JESSICA**

Ah, she's a sylph! Which i believe Kanaya is as well

She's the sylph of space, so is she supposed to heal space with the power of alliteration?

**EMILY**

huh?

**JESSICA**

lol

it was a joke

sylph, space, alliteration

**EMILY**

oh...

ok

**JESSICA**

anyway, Aranae's denizen was also Echidna. She is a sylph (like Kanaya whose denizen was Echidna) and a hero of space (like Jade whose denizen was Echidna). I wonder if any witches (if there wasn't already a sylph) would have Echidna as their denizen... Fef was the Witch of Life, but there was already a Sylph in play. Eh, just musings

**JESSICA**

Kalyn! Here's some troll Jesus for you!

"AG: As I said, this time around the world was... interesting.

GC: TH4T'S WH3N TROLLS B3C4M3 T3RR1BL3?

AG: Not all of you.

AG: Some had lessons from the old world to teach others. 8ut few ever heard them."

**JESSICA**

Meenah was definitely the troublemaker.

Ok, so, i've been thinking about this too ever since Aranae actually began talking. They're like combinations of people. Aranea (? was I spelling it wrong the entire time? :/) is like a combination of Vriska and Kanaya. I thought at first it was Vriska and Rose, mostly because they are both pretty long-winded. But anyway, she still has Vriska's basic personality but it's been mixed with Kanaya's. I wonder if their class is determined by their personality or if their personality is determined by their class?

**JESSICA**

There is also Meenah who is the Thief of Life. Again, we keep the same alignment just different class. She's sort of like a combo of Fef and Vriska. It's a little more difficult to find Fef in there, but there is definitely quite a bit of Vriska. She's brash, tends to only think about herself, and finds amusement in things she probably shouldn't. I don't think Vriska enjoyed killing other trolls, per se. It seemed to be more of what led up to the killing rather than the killing itself. This would also explain why she was hunting Roxy. It's just in her nature to take life. So, yeah. There you have my musings for the day.

**KALYN**

Hey I really love this analysis. I actually took a quiz or something based on personality that tells you what your title would be, and it's actually the first bit (Sylph, Thief, Knight, etc.) that relies the most on personality, so these make sense. Aranea's more like Kanaya in temperament than Vriska, and Meenah's more like Vriska than Fef, but they still have those obvious quirk similarities. I think it's those classes that are based on personality and the alignments are more based on the specialized skills.

**KALYN**

So we can totally compare everyone-and I want to go back to UU's description of classes later too, so we can bring those into an analysis.

For now though I need to write a review.

**MORGAN**

before I read any of this, holy shit guys 757 messages for me to read you all suck major bulge right now.

**EMILY**

(muahahahaha)


	37. Enneagrams

Enneagram test tells you what your hero title would be! I made the links legible, so you can check that out if you like.

* * *

><p><strong>MORGAN<strong>

I took that quiz thing that kalyn mentioned earlier... and like

it was funny, cause at first i was a 2

(there are numbers 1-9)

and then I was like... "I don't think this sounds like me toward the end?

"

and the site was like "sometimes women who are actually nines mistype themselves as twos"

and I was like "maybe I'm a nine then?"

**MORGAN**

and so I looked at the 9 description

and I'm totally a 9

So according to the quiz thing, I am either a Priest (noncanon) or a Sylph of Blood

**EMILY**

wonder what i would be...

**EMILY**

homestuck update!

the best kind too!

no reading!

**JESSICA**

Where is this quiz?

poor Ms. P!

ok, so, facebook refused to show me half of these replies until Kalyn suddenly blurted out "Fuck her" and that's why i was really confused.

**EMILY**

hahaha

**MORGAN**

uh... odd

**JESSICA**

Yeah, i don't know why

so where is that quiz?

I am curious

**MORGAN**

hang on, i copied onto a thing...

**JESSICA**

(now it's saying this was about an hour ago )

**MORGAN**

Who doesn't want to know the Homestuck Title they would have in the game?

This is something I've been creating for a long time, and finally got to a place where I feel like the test is pretty solid.

The Test is 3 parts long.

Your title is based off your enneagram type and wing. You can take the test here(first test/button):http:/www(dot)eclecticenergies(dot)com/enneagram/test(dot)php

When looking at your results, it is the first result in the form #w#, rather than Type #.

However, if you already know your enneagram type and wing, you can skip taking the test!

The Titles are as follows (6 are non-canon):

1w9- Agent 1w2- Heir

2w1- Maid/Usher 2w3- Idol

3w2- Prince/Noble 3w4- Thief

4w3- Page 4w5- Poet

5w4- Seer 5w6- Mage

6w5- Knight 6w7- Witch/Shaman

7w6- Bard 7w8- Rogue

8w7- Chief 8w9- Sage

9w8- Sylph/Zephyr 9w1- Priest

The next part of the test is determining what level you are in your enneagram type.

Go to http:/www(dot)enneagraminstitute(dot)com/ and click on the number that corresponds with the FIRST number from your title.

For example, I got 4w3, the Page, so I'd click the link to 4- The Individualist.

Scroll down to the 'levels' and choose which one sounds like what level you are at.

I am level 3.

The last part of the test is your Aspect, based on the cattell 16 factor test here:http:/similarminds(dot)com/cattell-16-factor(dot)html

Here's where things get a bit complicated.

After taking the test, look at your highest and lowest factors. If you get a tie between highs or lows, scroll down and decide which high score/low score corresponds to you best.

If your highest/lowest factors do NOT include Tension or Anxiety, then your aspect works as follows:

If you were level 1-4, your aspect responds to your highest factor.

If you were level 5-9, your aspect responds to your lowest factor.

HOWEVER, Tension and Anxiety work differently.

If you are level 1-4, then if your Tension/Anxiety is your LOWEST factor, then that is the factor your aspect corresponds to. If Tension/Anxiety is your highest, take your 2nd highest.

If you are level 5-9, then if your Tension/Anxiety is your HIGHEST factor, then that is the factor your aspect corresponds to. If Tension/Anxiety is your lowest, take your 2nd lowest.

The aspects are as follows (4 are non-canon):

Warmth - Light / Intellect - Mind

Emotional Stability - Blood / Aggressiveness - Blaze

Liveliness - Life / Dutifulness - Form

Social Assertiveness - Breath / Sensitivity - Heart

Paranoia - Keys / Abstractness - Space

Introversion - Void / Anxiety - Doom

Open-mindedness - Hope / Independence - Time

Perfectionism - Zen / Tension - Rage

So, since I scored highest on Open-mindedness, I am the Hero of Hope.

After finishing the test, I am the Page of Hope! (Jake's Title yay!)

So what does all this MEAN?

Kanaya remarked that the titles were meant to CHALLENGE. The game of Sburb is all about growing up and becoming the best you can be.

What do the Titles mean?

The titles represent what you need to learn through the game.

Agents need to work to bring change and to set a good example for others

Heirs need to learn to communicate and organize and work with others to get things done.

Maids/Ushers need to take care of others, even if they go un-noticed.

Idols need to learn to share their talents without getting caught up in self-importance or narcissism.

Princes/Nobles need to learn to become less image focused and less narcissistic.

Thieves need to learn to trust others and become less image focused.

Pages need to learn to get out of the background and showcase themselves.

Poets need to learn to focus and expand/utilize their creativity.

Seers need to learn to utilize their intuition to guide others.

Mages need to learn to realize their skills and not get caught up in self-deprecation.

Knights need to learn to stand by their friends and remove the mask they put on for others.

Witches/Shamans need to learn to inspire and motivate, as well as stay optimistic.

Bards need to learn how to spread mirth and help others enjoy life.

Rogues need to learn control and independence.

Chiefs need to learn to channel their aggressive nature productively and to coordinate others.

Sages need to learn to calm their aggression into silent power and wisdom

Sylphs/Zephyrs need to learn to take care of others with their inner strength and power.

Priests need to learn to balance between others and teach others.

Well, where do the aspects tie in then?

Well, the game gives you the tools to best learn what you need to learn!

For levels 1-4, it means utilizing what you are best at. i.e., Feferi, the Witch of Life utilizes her high liveliness to motivate others and stay optimistic.

For levels 5-9, it means growing in an area that you need more of. i.e, Tavros, the Page of Breath needed to get out of Vriska's shadow and come into his own by growing more bold and standing up to her.

Other examples-

Eridan, the Prince of Hope needed to be more open-minded to the changes happening, like how the hemospectrum became obsolete. If he had done this, and become less narcissistic, he would've been able to better handle the challenges the game presented him with.

Dave, the Knight of Time, needs more independence (Terezi mentions this a couple of times) so he can better stand by his friends and eventually remove his 'aloof cool-kid' mask.

Now go! Reblog what your title is! I'm quite curious to see which ones are common!

Hopefully, this gives you stuff to think about! Enneagram and the 16 factors are interesting to look into!

Want to learn more about your enneagram type/wing?

http:/www(dot)allpersonality(dot)com/index(dot)php/type-descriptions/

**MORGAN**

well, there you go

**EMILY**

holy shit

**….**

**KALYN**

Concerning Homestuck, I feel this needs to be said, but I've been thinking over things while going through the past conversations of the last few days and responding to them, so let's see if I can keep it linear. It's mostly regarding the Beta trolls we've seen. We were very confused during the Skype conversation, mostly because Aranea is nothing like Mindfang, but she definitely confirmed that she is Mindfang in the alternate universe incarnation. But she also explained that she used to be very different and a bit more like Vriska in some ways, but now she's in this long process of healing herself and others. In that long quiz up there, it gives you your class and whatever but it also has these levels that correspond with your own strength and stability as a person and how that ties into your personality leanings. Levels 1-3 are all healthy levels, and they less healthy up to 9. I think all the Alternian trolls are definitely on the unhealthy side of things, and I'm sure the Beta trolls weren't at the top of the level list either. So now Aranea's seen this as an opportunity to improve and she's on this healing mission to not only reach the healthy levels herself, but to help everyone else reach them too. Terezi, Meenah, and anyone else she talks to. Does that make sense?

**KALYN**

So her personality has probably changed a lot since her own session, and I'm sure we'll see a change in personality for all the other characters as well (I mean, we definitely already have, they've come a long way for sure). It's like these Dream Bubbles offer that healing process for them, so they can come to terms with everything that happened and everything that they're going through now.

**KALYN**

As for today's update: "How can he be here already?

Why did I not see this coming?"

You fool. He was always already here.

**….**

**KALYN**

I enjoy this to-do list:

Wear a shirt that says "life." Hand out lemons on street corner.

Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.

Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.

Go into a crowded elevator and say with a straight face, "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

**JESSICA**

where did you find that?

**KALYN**

Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.

**JESSICA**

bleh

**KALYN**

(new follower on tumblr-I'm gonna tell her how inexplicably happy her blog makes me)

**JESSICA**

hahaha

those are really funny

**KALYN**

Become a teacher. Make a test with C as every answer. Enjoy the show.

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

Run into a store asking what year it is. When someone answers, yell "It worked!" and run out cheering.

**JESSICA**

i had a test where the answers were A B C D E F from a word bank

lo

l

**KALYN**

Buy a horse, name it "Oscar Takes the Lead," enter it into horse races.

**JESSICA**

hahahahaha

these are so great!

**KALYN**

Invite someone to your office. When they show up, turn around in big office chair and say, "I've been expecting you..."

**JESSICA**

(do you see me as warm and sympathetic?)

**KALYN**

Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.

huh?

2 more, hang on

Buy a parrot. Teach it to say, "Help, I've been turned into a parrot!"

**JESSICA**

lol

i think i've seen a lot of these before

**KALYN**

Follow joggers in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.

lawl this is cute: "They're fictional characters." "THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEIR LOVE ISN'T REAL!"

**JESSICA**

lol

yeah

what the hell are "strong physical appetites"?

**KALYN**

what? haha

I guessed like need for necessities, ie: food, water, sex...

**JESSICA**

mmmm, that makes some sense

**KALYN**

I figured how I would be for all of the above. I don't have strong physical appetites for anything.

**JESSICA**

Would you say I'm hard to get to know?

**KALYN**

mmmmm not necessarily? idk

why are you asking me?

I've known you longer...

you still surprise me once in a blue moon

**JESSICA**

because I usually tend to be negative about stuff, kinda emo

like "No one understands me and my pain *dramatic sigh*"

I also tend to be melodramatic .

ok, so, i'll just put in the middle, i guess

**KALYN**

mmmm

lol

**JESSICA**

i was taking those tests, btw for the homestuck thing

my top two were 9 and 6, and this was something funny i found about 6: "Other Sixes adopt the opposite strategy of dealing with fear, and become counterphobic, essentially taking a defiant stand against whatever they find threatening"

i do that sometimes, lol

**KALYN**

haha nice

yeah it's scary accurate

**JESSICA**

this is actually really funny, since my top result was 9: "can mistype as Nines, but Nines have the ability to relax and to trust in others, neither of which come easily to Sixes"

**KALYN**

yeah Morgan was a 9, but she mistyped herself as a 2

**JESSICA**

9 seems to actually fit me better

**KALYN**

oh?

huh

**JESSICA**

yup

9 was my top result

**KALYN**

I forgot my number

**JESSICA**

lol

what was your class?

do you remember?

**KALYN**

Thief

**JESSICA**

3w4

**KALYN**

ok

then I'm a 3

**JESSICA**

yup

**KALYN**

it was depressingly accuarte

fuck

accurate

**JESSICA**

lol

yeah

i think the 6 thing, is that i tend to overglamorize some things

**KALYN**

ah

**JESSICA**

"Nines frequently mistype themselves as they have a rather diffuse sense of their own identities" this makes sense, lol

**KALYN**

exactly, morgan went through this

**JESSICA**

***okay face***

**KALYN**

lol sorry

I've just heard all this

**JESSICA**

Ok, the second part is kinda confusing me

so, tension was my lowest (tied with aggressiveness and liveliness) so, is that my alignment? Rage?

Intellect was my highest though

**KALYN**

if tension is your lowest, then you have to follow that part...

actually tension was my lowest, and I'm aligned with Rage, soo

**JESSICA**

oh, never mind

ok, looks like Breath instead

sooo, Priest of Breath?

**KALYN**

interesting...myessss

**JESSICA**

What does Breath mean?

**KALYN**

huh?

idk...

it's more the class that defines personality

**JESSICA**

sigh x.x

i know

oh well, still cool

so you were the Thief of Rage?

what was morgan?

**KALYN**

didn't she say?

looks like... Priest/Sylph of Blood

I think she's a Priest, but she didn't like being noncanon so she gave herself that second option

**JESSICA**

lol

well, if i went with my highest canon result, i would be the Knight of Breath

coo'

ok, brb

**KALYN**

Karkat/John ness right there

your otp

**JESSICA**

lol

that's so true XD

and that totally didn't take as long as i thought it would

**MORGAN**

also, I just found myself so definitely 9 that I didn't think the wings really applied to me much, so I had to choose between wings 1 and 8 and I thought they were even enough... but 1 was just higher on the list

**KALYN**

yeah I just went with the one that was higher

I don't think I read about the wings...

**JESSICA**

*cough* I forgot to look what the wings even meant before I closed out of that tab... do either of you remember?

**KALYN**

nope

**JESSICA**

of course .

i'll just go through the test really quickly, it said at the end

**MORGAN**

the wings are just like... if your personality leans more toward one than the other, right?

like, say you're a 9 with 8 like tendencies?

**JESSICA**

i found it, and it said that the wings hold enough-gah! morgan, you are such a thought-blocker

**MORGAN**

sorry! was I wrong?

**KALYN**

no, I think you always just say what she's going to later

**MORGAN**

well sorry for being faster than you jessica

**JESSICA**

yeah, you were pretty much right

i had to search the sight! i didn't know where to find it!

**MORGAN**

the sight?

site?

**KALYN**

no.

she had to search the sight.

you know, the oracle? the force?

the crystal fucking ball?

**MORGAN**

ok, she had to search what was being seen then. yes, it makes sense now

**KALYN**

the pensive?

ouija board?

**MORGAN**

lawl

**KALYN**

the temple of elders?

**JESSICA**

not the ouija board

i actually have a crystal ball with me hear

it's a new thing

**MORGAN**

what about the alter at delphi?

hear?

here?

**JESSICA**

...well I do have epilepsy .

**KALYN**

many a journey she made to consult the all knowing Sight, the giant omniscience in the sky, in order to retrieve the information she sought.

**MORGAN**

what is that in response to?

**KALYN**

you have a crystal ball with you hear?

here?

or hear.

I understand now.

It's there...you can hear it, it is all hearing.

The crystal ball is hear.

you consulted the multitude of omnipotent voices

**MORGAN**

no dude, I think it was more like she was ordering us, like

"hear ye, hear ye"

"I have a crystal ball, hear"

**KALYN**

which emit from the souls of knowledge

**JESSICA**

no! I hear the horrorterrors!

**MORGAN**

comma issues

**JESSICA**

via the crystal ball

**KALYN**

oh, that makes, sense

**MORGAN**

OH WELL THAT CLEARS EVERYTHING UP!

(we're such dicks btw)

**JESSICA**

(ooooh, is that what you were doing?)

**MORGAN**

(ssshhhhh I'm whispering so Jessica won't hear me)

(textually)

(sextually)

**JESSICA**

also, was your "what are you referring to" in reference to me saying I have epilepsy? If so, then that is what they figure the mystics or whatever had instead of, you know, actually being...mystical

**MORGAN**

(sh what?)

ah, alrighty then

**JESSICA**

(you should really stop typing so loud)

**MORGAN**

(it's the damn words. I tell them to be discreet, but they just like to make themselves heard)

**JESSICA**

(well...there is an obvious solution here. Also, where did the "comma" thing come from?)

**MORGAN**

btw Norma's officially a bartender now!

oh, just nvm

**JESSICA**

k….

**KALYN**

ha, Jessica, re-read it and you'll figure it out

**JESSICA**

I have a self-preservation variant!

**MORGAN**

uh?

**JESSICA**

it doesn't really matter that much, lol

nd I like my commas, damn it!

**MORGAN**

*pounds table for emphasis*

**JESSICA**

the Enneagram test, you can take it where it tells you your "instictual variant"

**MORGAN**

*but gently so as not to disrupt it*

**JESSICA**

lol

**MORGAN**

oh... i didn't do that

**JESSICA**

*then decides she, frankly my dear, doesn't give a damn*

i did, i actually really enjoy these sorts of tests

**MORGAN**

me too

i'm such a freaking 9 it's not even funny

**JESSICA**

lol

high five 9 comrade!

*holds up hand waiting*

**MORGAN**

*bro hoof*

**JESSICA**

*holds up half a coconut instead, since that is as close to a hoof as she is going to get*

**MORGAN**

hahahahaha *connects with another coconut*

it's like matching two pieces of a friendship bracelet

**JESSICA**

lol

**MORGAN**

i;m sgarting to doze off a little bit

should probs get out of claires bed and into my own...

**JESSICA**

yeah, probably not a bad idea

**MORGAN**

nacht

**JESSICA**

love you sleep well

**MORGAN**

LOVE! ~

sometimes i don't know how to express all of the love i feel, so i just shout.. or do the textual equivalent which is CAPS LOCK

**JESSICA**

BAHAHAHAHA "Now that Rufio is gone, you are my only friend"

Homestuck updated again, btw

**KALYN**

oh awesome

I'll check it out

**JESSICA**

You know, facebook is such a dick. I went back through to see the comma thing, since it was burning (or brunging, depending on how you look at it) my insides. I overshot our little part of the conversation, and there were SO MANY MESSAGES facebook didn't send me. Fucking facebook having apt alliterations for exemplary emphasis.

**…**

**EMILY**

so...where is this quiz?

**KALYN**

lol

scroll up

**JESSICA**

Morgan sent a huge message

there are links in there

**EMILY**

oh...

i was confused

there were several links

**JESSICA**

The first two are the ones you want

**KALYN**

yeah, you actually have to read though

to be able to take that

**JESSICA**

the third one doesn't matter

**KALYN**

it's kinda tedious

**JESSICA**

oh god, reading D:

**KALYN**

lol

**EMILY**

i have to read all of it?

**JESSICA**

ALL OF IT!

**KALYN**

well a good portion of it

oh lol

**JESSICA**

I tried to just glance over it, and I got confused

**EMILY**

i don't feel like devoting a good amount of time to reading one thing

BUT FINE

**JESSICA**

Yay!

**EMILY**

i am also the sylph of blood

**KALYN**

nice

**….**

**MORGAN**

updated again.

hilarious omg

HORSES!

**KALYN**

"The dude is ALWAYS already here.

When it comes to being here, already is practically all he ever is."

Yep, that's pretty much what I just said earlier.

**KALYN**

Holy shit I love these Hussie plots, they're the best


	38. ColoUrs and Mayhem and irrelevance

We talk a lot about the two new albums here (ColoUrs and Mayhem). Also some anecdotal irrelevance that you can skim if you just don't give a fuck about our own "character development." I like to think that all -4 of you reading this enjoy us as much as our analyses, so I include the random tangents. It's mostly for us to look back on though. It brings amusement and nostalgia.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

lol

hey so why would it be ironic that LE meets his demise in close proximity of horses?

Morgan and I came to a conclusion that basically the Striders are linked to Lil Cal and Maplehoof, and Lil Cal is LE's ancestor, but Jake is also linked to LE, and Equius and Dirk are both linked to horses... Rose had Maplehoof too at some point though, uhhhh... IDK. Horses.

**JESSICA**

'You've got to be kidding me! He's already here AGAIN? Talk about a one trick pony." lol, Homestuck update!

**JESSICA**

Where have I seen this before? /?s=6&p=006701

lololol "You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly as I overestimate it"

**KALYN**

Was "where have I seen this before?" a serious question? Because it's kind of an overused effect in dramatic movies.

**JESSICA**

But specifically! I know they do the dramatic gun pose all the time, but I'm thinking of a specific one :S There's a specific one damnit!

**KALYN**

Well lemme know if you think of it

**JESSICA**

Maybe FreddieW that could be it

I think it is!

**KALYN**

I (morgan now) was thinking of kalyn's TOP macro where he has his gun... "That's all just a matter of... PERSPECTIVE!"

**EMILY**

i still think of that

**JESSICA**

It was the blur too

**…**

**JESSICA**

Oh god, homestuck update

I dont' quite know what to say!

**JESSICA**

What the hell is with Vriska's face? Why is it there? Is it like a "That's what you get!" face?

We might get to see a dream sequence too, so silly!

**KALYN**

Yeah I'm also curious about that.

Also, this is a pretty good April Fool's thing.

Wonder if he'll stay dead?

Also, do you think him believing in Rufio was sort of like a shoutout to Dante?

"I've failed you Rufio."

haha

**JESSICA**

Yeah, see, I was thinking about that

Because it's not like it isn't something he wouldn't do, even if Dante wasn't reading

However, I think our judgment will be forever clouded because Dante is reading Homestuck

**KALYN**

Naturally, but I think your triple negative up there kinda clouded up the meaning of your statement.

**JESSICA**

Yup

That's how I roll

**KALYN**

Yeah you pretty much said "It's not like it's something he would do," which means he just wouldn't do that. But I personally wouldn't put it past him to do that.

**JESSICA**

lawl

**KALYN**

Is that what you meant?

(btw I have class in a few minutes)

**JESSICA**

see, there are basically two statments rolled into one. "It's not something he wouldn't do"

and then "It's not like"

oh, ok

**KALYN**

Yeah, well you said "It's NOT like it ISN'T something he WOULDN'T do" so it's very confusing

**JESSICA**

…..

**KALYN**

..."even if Dante WASN'T reading!"

You need to think more positively!

**JESSICA**

hey, there are four negatives there

which means a positive

**KALYN**

yeah but three of them actually affect each other.

**JESSICA**

shhhhhh

**KALYN**

nope. You can't just throw negatives about

and expect people to keep up with them

**JESSICA**

I can't if I don't

**KALYN**

That kinda made no sense.

**JESSICA**

…..

**KALYN**

:P

**JESSICA**

I can if I do

I can't if I don't

meh, i'm going back to my memes

**KALYN**

Yeah, but it's more like the other way around. These negatives don't affect each other, so your statements now are more like the whole works one way but not the other thing. You do if you can and you don't if you can't, but your decision to do something or not doesn't affect your ability to do or don't so.

**KALYN**

A square is a rectangle, but not the other way around type of deal.

ok class now, see you later

**JESSICA**

How can you prove if you can if you don't?

**KALYN**

I'll address this later!

XO

**JESSICA**

Shall I say more aggravating grammatical statememts?

**JESSICA**

Really? How clever do they think they are?.edu/~

**MORGAN**

why is that link in a facebook message? I clicked on it and found only academic desolation.

also, i don't remember seeing any vriska face? where was that?

**JESSICA**

seriously? did you see today's update? After Hussie was shot

**MORGAN**

yeah... but i saw no vriska

**JESSICA**

And where would you prefer the link?

**MORGAN**

um... i would prefer it just not.

**JESSICA**

:| Bottom right corner /?s=6&p=006713

**MORGAN**

oh ok now that i know where to look for it, i can see it totally

**JESSICA**

well, sorry for wanting to share my aggravations, i shall never do it again, we can have a superficial relationship where i never share anything other than homestuck or mindless drivel

**MORGAN**

it's kinda bright in my room from the sun... that is my excuse

sh!

**JESSICA**

seriously? whatever

**MORGAN**

i have no issue with your sharing your aggravations

**JESSICA**

IT'S CLEAR AS DAY!

**MORGAN**

and i am not miffed either...

**JESSICA**

But you tell me to not share them

**MORGAN**

(sorry!)

**JESSICA**

:'(

**MORGAN**

i just... i was suddenly faced with a wall of extremely boring looking text, and i had no idea what i was supposed to be doing with it

i didn't no how to react

**JESSICA**

generally the wisest choice when faced with text is reading it

just sayin'

**MORGAN**

yeah, see, i maybe would have done that, if anthropology wasn't the first word i saw

maybe i just have this irrational dislike for anthropologists or something, i don't know

**JESSICA**

really all you have to do is read the first two paragraphs

and undersstand that this is for one of my classes

**MORGAN**

ah.

"mmmyes, you know, we anthropologists are surprised by nothing."

**JESSICA**

why would you dislike anthropologists?

**MORGAN**

"we have seen it all before. In fact, i could probably predict what you are about to do right now"

i don't know... I don't really, i'm just trying to psychoanalyze an explanation out of myself

**JESSICA**

they're totally likable characters

no, no, you're doing it wrong! there has to be something about penises in there!

**MORGAN**

mmmmmmmmore OH YES WE NEED MOAR PENISES OF COURSE

(shut up and draw another penis)

(reference to SatW Iceland's penis collection...)

(literally any other penis reference i can think of...)

**JESSICA**

I think I understand where your dislike is coming from. In your (oh, no way!) mind you feel that all anthropologists are just giant dicks

So you hate them

**MORGAN**

oh, is that why you brought up penises? like dream symbols or some shit

this is all getting rather Freudian for me...

**JESSICA**

well duh! psychoanalysis=Freud=penis

well...duh...

**MORGAN**

i've already put my -yeah i was gonna... yeah

**JESSICA**

what?

**MORGAN**

nevermind, i just... made that connection a lot slower than you did

**JESSICA**

just be glad you don't have to read this entire article x.x

oh, lol

i think my paper in response will be dripping with just as much sarcasm

**…..**

**JESSICA**

I would have laughed a thousand times louder if people weren't asleep!

I could barely contain it!

HOMESTUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Vriska's BACK baby!

But /why/ is Hussie proposing to her? Is it like when he was going to kiss Rufio?

**MORGAN**

wow, jessica, i am glad i didn't read your message completely before looking at homestuck today

lawl... i think it is basically like the rufio thing... just a joke... like, the most dramatic april fool's prank ever.

also, it's like a running joke that hussie was going to marry vriska... something about something a fan asked him once or something

**JESSICA**

Oh, really? I didn't know. Still hilarious and quite elaborate.

**…**

**EMILY**

IS THE CAT ALIVE OR DEAD?

**KALYN**

*cough*

**JESSICA**

always!

**KALYN**

both

**EMILY**

(schrodinger)

**JESSICA**

(to both of you_)

**KALYN**

until you open the bag

**EMILY**

yeah

**KALYN**

then it's only one

**EMILY**

watching futurama

"guys like this really bust my uterus"

**KALYN**

lawl

**JESSICA**

o.0

**EMILY**

sorry

still futurama

i love black cop

his voice is so smooth

**KALYN**

i dunno who that is

**JESSICA**

like dark chocolate?

**KALYN**

uh...

chocolate rain?

**EMILY**

sure

**KALYN**

*reference goes unnoticed*

**EMILY**

oh no

i noticed

**KALYN**

oh

good

**EMILY**

just didn't mention it

**KALYN**

i noticed you

k

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

that makes me feel better

yeah, i noticed you

SO HARD

**EMILY**

oh...ok...

**KALYN**

(this is still morgan btw)

**EMILY**

YAY!

K

**JESSICA**

yeah, figured

**KALYN**

how did you figure?

**EMILY**

I CAN WAIT TO NOTICE YOU SO HARD

AND SEMI HUMP YOU

**KALYN**

just 28 more days baby

**JESSICA**

i dunno, you two are a little different on the internet?

**EMILY**

yay!

**KALYN**

uh…

**EMILY**

can't fuckin wait

**JESSICA**

it's like, you're not the same person!

**KALYN**

how so jessica?

**JESSICA**

x.x

.

*abscond post haste*

**EMILY**

≤.≤

**KALYN**

i'm just curious as to the specifics of the figuring

like.. what gave it away?

**JESSICA**

the way you talk? on the interwebs

**EMILY**

well shit, now i'm confused

**JESSICA**

it's a smidge different and sometimes i notice

**KALYN**

ah

**JESSICA**

yup

**KALYN**

kalyn likes to exaggerate her narcism

which doesn't actually exist

**EMILY**

oh yeah

**JESSICA**

oh...

awkward...

.

**KALYN**

lawl

**EMILY**

oh hedonism bot

**JESSICA**

thought it actually existed, and i was just placating her

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

**EMILY**

meh i just enjoy my friends!

**JESSICA**

me too, me too

**…..**

**JESSICA**

seriously? /2011/10/12/internet-memes-classic-must-have-been-a-euro-film/

**KALYN**

The article is fake, read the comments

**EMILY**

huh?

**KALYN**

That memebase article Jess posted

**JESSICA**

who reads the comments?

seriously?

nerds, that's who

**EMILY**

oh god facebook sucks

seen that

**KALYN**

I do, often. You learn a lot from them

**EMILY**

what?

**JESSICA**

That's what I said: nerds

**EMILY**

my arm hurts do i have to go to work?

**KALYN**

haha

btw Norma was totally inflating my ego today

**EMILY**

(but it actually does)

oh?

**JESSICA**

Oh god no!

It doesn't need to get any bigger D:

**KALYN**

IKR she doesn't know what she's doing XP

**EMILY**

can i get a doctor's note up in here?

**JESSICA**

what was she saying?

**KALYN**

She said I would make a really hot guy, because I definitely have the swag for it.

I was very flattered.

**EMILY**

haha

sexxxxah

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

And the ginger thing helps, but she just really likes gingers, so.

**JESSICA**

Eh

**KALYN**

hahahahahahaa

thanks!

**JESSICA**

Someone's gotta love 'em

**KALYN**

LOL

**…**

**EMILY**

but hey, what does dnw mean?

**KALYN**

Do Not Want

**JESSICA**

do not want

**EMILY**

…

**JESSICA**

i could have answered that! D:

Actually, I just did

**EMILY**

nope

it's a code

for how we're gonna kill you

**JESSICA**

Also, if you were to ask Kalyn about plans to kill me, why would you ask it here?

do now woman

**EMILY**

i was gonna ask her to talk privately

**JESSICA**

dumb nubian walnuts

**EMILY**

so..we're going with do not want k goood i liked that one

**JESSICA**

….

**KALYN**

(drink nasty water)

**EMILY**

very...sneaky

drink nasty water was just too inhumane remember?

**JESSICA**

as in good "nasty" or bad, fetid "nasty"

actually, no, there are no times when "nasty" is good

**EMILY**

psh silly jessica

dinner negative wasted would be interesting for cops to find

**KALYN**

probably the latter, but if you can present a situation in which the former is a viable option, I might consider it.

**JESSICA**

psh, silly mortals

**KALYN**

psh, silly humans

**EMILY**

dog never wait would've been good, very accident looking

(and hitler)

**KALYN**

what about drag net wearing?

**EMILY**

don't think we have the money for that

or the man power

**KALYN**

Denver necro weight would be practical, but there's too much room for error.

**EMILY**

yeah

but it would've been the easiest one

**JESSICA**

You'd also have to get me to Denver

I assume

**KALYN**

No

More like getting Denver to you, in a way

Only not at all

**JESSICA**

How about this? You'd probably have to change the acronym /2011/08/08/memes-then-throw-a-party/

**KALYN**

Because that one was code for you accidentally running blindfolded into traffic and getting hit by a bus

**JESSICA**

Oh...ok... Do I get no say in this?

**KALYN**

easiest to do, but there's so much relying on the offchance of the bus being there

Of course not, unless we're going with dinosaurs new world

**EMILY**

sorry, facebook was being a bitch

**KALYN**

In which case, yes, yes you would

**KALYN**

But that's an unlikely scenario as you would have to be totally compliant and cooperative

**EMILY**

oooooooh

interesting

**JESSICA**

Facebok was being mean to me too

Eh, why not? See where it goes

**KALYN**

It goes to your expiration.

**EMILY**

yup mine was being dumb again

what about deep noob water?

**JESSICA**

Oh...Well...That's not a whole lot of fun... Curiosity killed the cat and all. Oh, right. Didn't satisfaction bring him (her) back?

**KALYN**

I mean if you wanna put in the order for the helium tanks, be my guest, but that one always seemed a bit frivolous to me

What are you on about satisfaction?

Will you be satisfied with your death?

**JESSICA**

lololololol, perfect timing/2011/08/07/memes-y-u-no-pacifist/

**KALYN**

So satisfied that you want to leave it?

Makes sense.

**JESSICA**

Have you never heard the second half?

**EMILY**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

Nah, I'd die, but find out what it's like, be "oh, cool" make a deal with death and come back to either kill you or haunt you

depends on the deal, I'm sure

**EMILY**

dollup note wake would be nice, but where would we find a train?

well, council bluffs...

we could do dollup note wake

could do date nishna wage but then we'd need 7 6 feet things of rope, and 100 balloons

and i dunno were we're gonna get all that without drawing suspicioun

FUCK

**JESSICA**

the internet, and it would take some time

either that or, you know, say it's for a party

**EMILY**

but we don't want it to be traced to us

but the rope?

**JESSICA**

the balloons at least would be excused

**EMILY**

yea

**JESSICA**

i'm sure you could find somewhere you can buy 42 feet of rope

either that or braid it from your own hair, add a little personal flare

**KALYN**

sporting goods store

say we're...rock climbing

or something

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I don't rock climb

Afraid of heights

plus terrible upper body strength

**KALYN**

It doesn't matter if you do or not, we're not buying it for that

Unless...

Emily?

Should we take her rock climbing?

**JESSICA**

/2011/08/05/memes-im-also-scared/

With that, I shall leave you. Good night

It is WAY past my bed time

I would say "love you" but given the circumstances, I think I shall refrain this day

**…..**

**(after some Facebook trolling)**

**MORGAN**

i kind of can't wait to see her reply on all this.

**JESSICA**

yeah, if she asks who GD is, I really want to post Obsession or something, and then say "There will be a quiz"

**MORGAN**

probably something like "Woah! That's quite an interesting dream Jessica! That's sad that your alarm clock woke you up before you got to the epicness. I bet that would have been awesome!"

lawl jessica

or post the "She's Gone" video

where he chases a girl through a maze and then brutally kills her at the end

and then licks the blood off the knife.

**JESSICA**

i just had a violent laughing attack

ham flew from my mouth

**MORGAN**

that was the best visual ever

btw i had to share this whole thing with kelsey

she's right next to me now

**JESSICA**

lol

we are horrible people, i hope you know

**MORGAN**

i know

we'll probably go to hell for this

**JESSICA**

eh, we don't go to church either, right? or at least you only go with your grandma

i'm pretty sure those are grounds for damnation as well

**MORGAN**

probably

like

deception

**JESSICA**

oh! and we support homosexuality

**MORGAN**

oh yeah, that too

man, we're running to hell at full speed

**JESSICA**

at least we don't kick puppies

if we did that, i'm pretty sure a lightning bolt would strike us dead where we stand

**MORGAN**

yeah, god does not tolerate puppy kicking

it is the worst of all sins

**…..**

**KALYN**

http:/andrewanddante(dot)tumblr(dot)com/

I recommend this tumblr

**…..**

**MORGAN**

hey... just found out there's a new homestuck album... in case you didn't know

released a week ago

**JESSICA**

i thought i saw something about that

k, brb

**EMILY**

i love mustard gardettos

**MORGAN**

i dont know what that is

**EMILY**

like chex mix

but mustard

**MORGAN**

huh... sounds kinda yummy

**JESSICA**

this is what i think of your mustard gardettos! .com/tumblr_ (although they are not nearly as bad as sour cream and onion chips or combos)

**EMILY**

can't find a lot of places

**MORGAN**

you don't like sour cream and onion?

(weirdo)

**JESSICA**

i can't even stand to be around it

**MORGAN**

like, if it's in the same room as you, you just wanna go punch it in the face for looking at you funny?

**JESSICA**

yeah

**MORGAN**

that's kind of discriminatory jessica

**JESSICA**

it's terrible on car trips, because lizzy, dad and james all enjoy it, and everyone forgets how disgusted i am, so the car is permeated with its stench

it's not my fault it has so much 'tude! it should probably take a bath every once in a while too

**…**

**MORGAN**

"Iron Infidel" on the new album is... different and interesting and i kind of like it

**JESSICA**

i should probably listen to it then, shouldn't i, lol

**MORGAN**

maybe

**EMILY**

who?

**MORGAN**

could be the hint i was nudging at

who what?

the new homestuck album

**…**

**MORGAN**

i think we might have a lovely nepeta theme here

called "Olive Scribe"

it's pretty e_e

like that one better

**JESSICA**

i just looked at that and was all "That's gotta be Nepeta's theme"

**MORGAN**

hahahahaha

much nicer than the meowing one

**JESSICA**

lol, getting there, i'll tell you what i think though

**MORGAN**

aight

**JESSICA**

I'm liking Rust Servant

**MORGAN**

yeah... I'm super digging Jade Mother

**JESSICA**

hmmm, i'm thinking these are the ancestors, rather than our trolls

pff, lol, that would probably be why it's called "Universe A"

i kinda like how Bronze Rebel still has the same sort of feel as Tavros's theme, the Toreador blah-blah or whatever

Just more mature, so to speak

less stereotypical? i think that's a better way to put it

**MORGAN**

sure... I wasn't paying that close attention honestly

I'll have to go back and listen more critically

**JESSICA**

i'm going through them one at a time

**MORGAN**

ah

**JESSICA**

and i have less to do than you currently, lol

**…**

**JESSICA**

I don't know what I think of troll Jesus's song

you're right, it's very different

something I expect in a Catholic cathedral, which I guess plays with the "troll Jesus" thing

I love how Olive Scribe is sort of like the female counterpart of Iron Infidel

Very pretty!

**MORGAN**

yeah I hadn't noticed the counterpart thing, but yes pretty

**JESSICA**

it was mostly the singing that caught me

Song of Skaia had a little of it, but that was more background, right? Jade Mother has it too...

**….**

**JESSICA**

Listening to Temporal Shenanigans, and I like that voice for Aradia! I wish I knew what she sounded like when she spoke normally.

**….**

**EMILY**

i need to ask kalyn something

**KALYN**

pose your question, and I will translate it for the oracle.

**JESSICA**

lol

**EMILY**

the fuck did she draw?

is it supposed to be jade?

as like god tier?

**KALYN**

the oracle says yes.

**EMILY**

yes

yeah,

i don't remember what her _ of space title is

**KALYN**

witch

**EMILY**

should've drawn something else

i wouldn't have guessed that on my own

**KALYN**

I will not tolerate this blasphemy against the oracle.

**EMILY**

nothing towards morgan

all towards kalyn

i'm beating her up in my head

**JESSICA**

You should show the Oracle more respect!

**EMILY**

NOW JESSICA'S TURN

**KALYN**

There shall be no unholy thoughts against the oracle.

**EMILY**

again

nothing towards morgan

**JESSICA**

Kalyn=Oracle

**EMILY**

i speak no unwise of oracle

WELL FUCK NOW I'M ALL CONFUSED

**JESSICA**

anyway, what is your question?

**KALYN**

The mystic does not appreciate this talk against the oracle.

**EMILY**

nothing

**JESSICA**

≥:(

**EMILY**

just saying i'm now guessing your draw something

**JESSICA**

oh

**EMILY**

IT WAS ADORABLE!

I WISH I COULD HAVE A PICTURE OF THAT

**JESSICA**

btw, morgan, i would totally friend you two, but i was stupid and didn't sign up to it via facebook

why don't you just take a picture with your camera?

**KALYN**

oh... well then. Mystic and Oracle are disappoint.

(jessica, the pictures disappear...)

**JESSICA**

i know, but Emily, did you guess yet?

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

never mind

**…**

**KALYN**

i'm getting off

**EMILY**

I'M WATCHING YOUTUBE VIDEOS

wait

fuck

stay on for jsut a second

**JESSICA**

oh, ok...

**EMILY**

kalyn- to your "i'm getting off" that's what she said AND **(if you know what I mean face)**

**EMILY**

k now you can go

**JESSICA**

pretty sure that was Morgan...

way to go

**EMILY**

well i don't know who we're talking to half the time

since she was under kalyn's facebook i assumed it was kalyn

FUCK YOU JESSICA

I'M LEAVING TOO

**JESSICA**

**(forever alone face)**

**…**

**JESSICA**

Don't know why I didnt think of this before! The hidden "spoiler" in coloUrs of mayhem is the titles! Herpaderp! So, Aradia's ancestor was the Servant of Time, and so on and so forth. It makes sense, since our trolls' titles were used for their songs. Sweet.

Wait... Maybe not... That was foolish half thought ramblings... Unless you see some merit in it...

Ok, now I'm off until tomorrow. For realzies

**KALYN**

Hm, I'm not completely sure, since they don't seem like titles from the game. More like the titles they had as ancestors in the post-scratch universe. But there could be some merit to it.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I thought of that as soon as I had typed it out... Maid would make sense, Mother might, Hunter would make sense too, Mariner maybe. Not sure about corsair, i should look it up.

**JESSICA**

But the others are iffy

ok, quick question, why did you think "corsair" fit Eq's ancestor better? A corsair is a type of pirate ship

**KALYN**

Really? When I looked it up, it had all this stuff to do with electronics.

Huh. Odd.

oh that's because of corsair(dot)com. Misleading.

**JESSICA**

dictionary(dot)com

**KALYN**

lawl

google

the one after that says it was a WWII carrier plane or something to that effect

not paying much attention to that

ah well

Well what titles do we know already?

**JESSICA**

none

**KALYN**

maid, page, witch, sylph, rogue, thief, heir, prince, knight, seer, mage, I'm missing one

bard

I meant classes, so I guess that's ...yeah

**JESSICA**

ugh x.x facebook refused to send my replies x.x, not that it's too important, i just said "bard" a second after you and then complained about it. It did the same thing in another chat box too though...

**KALYN**

oh

**JESSICA**

yeah...listening to coloUrs and mayhem again (in case you didn't get that before ) and I really like these songs for everyone

**JESSICA**

Ok, I'm departing, I'll talk to you anon (and so help me god, don't take that the wrong way )

**KALYN**

God, do we only speak in links now?

**….**

**JESSICA**

NEW HOMESTUCK ALBUM BLALDKFJDFHIGJDFJAKLDSJ

**JESSICA**

K, facebook was being mean, and I haven't had the chance to go through and collect the Homestuck stuff here. However, I have gone to town on the new Homestuck album in a document...There's a lot .

I will say this first though. I don't really like this album as much as the first part

**…**

**KALYN**

I'm listening to the new album

John's song is my favorite theme!

I'm like gonna cry now

T^T

this is so beautiful!

Uh!

This is so much better than Universe A imo!

**…**

**KALYN**

I spy a dead Dave...

Guys, I reeeeeeaaaallllyyyyy like this album

**…**

**JESSICA**

Yeah...Definitely like Universe A better, but whatever. I did like John's theme. A lot. lol, did I say up there that I went to town on that album? Because I did. I took it to town, we had a lovely dinner, and then we had the usual first date talk. I learned about it, and it learned nothing about me. You know, the usual. But seriously, I have four pages...and...i haven't totally finished it... .

**JESSICA**

buuuuuut, i'm bored with that now...I don't know if I'll finish it any time soon. Do you want me to email you what i have? (and that's all three of you, unless Morgan/Kalyn, you think it would be sufficient enough to send it to just one of you)

**KALYN**

you can just send it to one

**JESSICA**

k, coo'

Kalyn?

or Morgan?

k, since you didn't answer, it's being sent to Kalyn's email

it's been sent

Oh, and I really got into the swing of things after the first few songs, forgot about that, so there isn't a whole lot at the beginning

What does this make you think of?/2011/03/02/memes-robot-unicorn-amazing-i-think-not/

**KALYN**

sorry recording, give me a few

okay!

**KALYN**

oh gee I wonder what the fuck it makes me think of.

You should do copy/paste shit, because I'm too lazy and hardworking at the same time to do it

**KALYN**

/mspa/landgen/#

WHY DO I LIKE THIS SO MUCH

**JESSICA**

Did you not see what I said up there? Facebook was being mean. It wouldn't let me scroll up and stay up. It would constantly bring me back down to the bottom. Eventually it wouldn't let me scroll up at all, even when I hit "home." I'll try again later.

**KALYN**

ah. My ethernet cable was being mean. It wouldn't let me stay connected to the internet

**JESSICA**

I can still do it, don't worry about that. I only did the music thing because I wanted to do something with homestuck, but facebook wouldn't let me get to what we had before *shrug* Then I got carried away, as I am wont to do.

**KALYN**

Naturally

Check out that link, I'm addicted to it

Addicted to clicking the spirograph

"Why do all the animals like friendship?"

My reaction to the results after too much clicking on the spirograph

**JESSICA**

Was that your result, or is it just random?

**KALYN**

It's totally random, and I keep clicking it, so there are repeats, and a lot of the consorts liked friendship

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

Also, I really really like the Universe B album, seriously

all of these songs are great

Phantasmagoric something-or-other, which I just listened to, was beautiful

**JESSICA**

Phantasmic Youngsters?

**KALYN**

yes

**JESSICA**

I thought that one was cute

**KALYN**

I was on the next one, I didn't want to interrupt it to see

Brotocol

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

awesome picture for that one, btw

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

with all the brobots

**JESSICA**

i know, i'm going through and looking at the pictures

i always do the first time i listen

(lol, Thief of Keys)

**…**

**JESSICA**

something just randomly fell in my closet o_O

**KALYN**

haha

I got so much friendship

oh?

that's...odd

you don't have any old Furbies do you?

those things always show up when you least expect

**JESSICA**

i think we got rid of them, and if we didn't, they're probably in the garage...

that's really fuckiing creepy, just so you know

**KALYN**

the Furbies thing, or just the fact that something fell randomly

**JESSICA**

the furbies thing

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

**JESSICA**

i imagine enough creepy stuff in the dark, you don't need to add to the list

**KALYN**

lawl sorry

**JESSICA**

also, Land of Odors and Cacophony...Land of loud farts?

**KALYN**

/?s=6&p=002963

Woah, fuck, ok so I was going back to the Christmas updates because I like alchemitizing, and I saw this. Remember that one thing where Hussie said that the movie posters pretty much predict everything? Take a gander at what's written there.

**KALYN**

Also, consider the possibility that there will be a ghost Dad...

**JESSICA**

yeah, interessting

lolol, this is a really funny image: Warlike purple axolotls. This is an axolotl .

**KALYN**

hahahahahahaha that's weird

**JESSICA**

They live in the land of Leaves and Sulfur...they are cave-dwelling, not really amphibious salamanders

Land of Repition and Tea...England?

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahaha

**JESSICA**

Oh yeah! I was thinking. Nepeta was the Rogue of Heart. I just thought that was interesting, since according to UU, Rogues are basically the Robin Hood of the game. i kinda wonder what that would let her do. Would she be able to steal Karkat's heart if she came into her powers? Or steal Terezi's, to take out the competition. She would then give it to...Dave? I don't think Terezi really had flushed feelings for anyone else, and I also don't think anyone else had flushed feelings for Karkat

**JESSICA**

just random musings

**KALYN**

Wow, that uh... you just made Nepeta look really brutal.

**JESSICA**

hahaha

Well, would it be entirely selfish?

Terezi doesn't really fight with Dave the same way she does with Karkat, but I guess they lean more towards the pale side

**KALYN**

Well, I mean... the thing is... ugh, I don't think it works like that, because that wouldn't get anyone further in the game, would it? And that's the point of those classes, they have a specific role in the game.

Like Roxy pirated the game, but this allowed them to play it, which it obviously needed.

**JESSICA**

Oh, hey! Update!

**KALYN**

oh hey! I'm still gonna go through the older Christmas ones first

**JESSICA**

And I never said it was right just random musings. Probably had it in the middle of the night, and cuz i had been meaning to put it on here

**KALYN**

oh ok

welp

**JESSICA**

What? How dare you go through interesting material rather than read four pages!

**KALYN**

hahahahaha

where is Rose's alchemitizing session?

**JESSICA**

one has sound though, do you want me to hold off talking about it?

**KALYN**

sure

**JESSICA**

if it will even load x.x

**KALYN**

is it one of those fake ones?

he's done that before

20 minutes of loading

and then you read the thing at the bottom that says "you wait 20 minutes for it to load before you realize that this isn't a flash update"

oh shit.

did mspa just break?

I was just trying to see the old updates!

T^T

**JESSICA**

I don't know, i hope not. And it won't let me go on from that page

so i don't think he's trolling

**KALYN**

so weird

**JESSICA**

then it was like "Actually, you need something from Java Script to watch this" after I refreshed the page four times

**KALYN**

it won't let me see the older pages

I think mspa just broke

wow holy shit it's being slow

**JESSICA**

yeah, i was about to say that Hussie might be being unnecessarily cruel

it's times like these i wish i had twitter

**KALYN**

I don't think so, I'm having a hard time viewing the older pages

you can still check out his twitter feed.

**JESSICA**

oh?

ok, i tried looking up the exact link on internet explorer, and it one of the options was ms paint adventures trickster mode?

i'll try again and see if it looks like that

**KALYN**

what?

oh I think it's good again

**JESSICA**

is it being friendly to you now?

**KALYN**

yes

**JESSICA**

it's still refusing to load for me though

**KALYN**

yeah, I was still talking about those older pages

they weren't sound

brb gotta pee

**JESSICA**

ok, i dunno how you came to be under the impression that you can see someone's feed without having twitter, but if i go to twitter, it only shows me the log in page

maybe if i go to the actual page for his twitter account?

**KALYN**

well I've gotten to his twitter...hang on, lemme see if I can find it

**JESSICA**

yup, as i suspected, there are a ton of people on the page apparently

i got there

**KALYN**

ok, send me the link?

**JESSICA**

to his page? k

/#!/andrewhussie

should be the top "tweet"

**KALYN**

yep

**JESSICA**

here you go, this is better .com/post/21064794312/there-are-way-way-way-too-many-people-trying-to

sigh, guess we'll have to wait

**KALYN**

Yeah yeah I got that

I really like some of the reblogs, haha

I can't believe this was posted 6 minutes ago, and there's already over 1000 notes

Welp, I wasn't gonna check it out until I've listened to all the songs on this album anyway, and I've got a few to go

just kidding: I have one to go

**JESSICA**

haha

**KALYN**

ok, first time trying to see it, and I got to 60%

I feel like this is not bad

although it is now officially 4/14 for me...

**JESSICA**

lol, well, i didn't get past 30%, so it's looking up

**KALYN**

-refresh- gets me to 24%

ha

I'll give it time

**JESSICA**

yeah, we'll probably have to check later tomorrow, hopefully enough people will have checked it out by then

**KALYN**

I'm sure it'll be fine by tomorrow

I was surprised actually

I wasn't expecting the update

**KALYN**

which was really stupid to think

**JESSICA**

well, i was hoping for more than what was their earlier, lol

**KALYN**

actually I was expecting it until the album came out, and then I thought it would just be that

**JESSICA**

really? huh...when did the trolls officially enter the scene? when did it start with Karkat?

**KALYN**

uhhhhhhh

what?

are you asking when Hivebent started?

I wanna say that was June 12

**JESSICA**

i was just wondering if Universe A came out on that day, yes thank you

**KALYN**

because 413 is one important number and 612 is the other

**JESSICA**

oh, right, yeah 6/12

right

**….**

**JESSICA**

lol, begin listening to Pipeorgankind. Instantly expect Phantom of the Opera music


	39. New Homestuck Album Stuff

This is Jessica's commentary on Universe B of ColoUrs and Mayhem, which she mentioned in that last chapter. Yep.

* * *

><p>New Homestuck Album stuff:<p>

Green Ghost-John's Song, sounds like a remix of what they used for running around on his world

Dunno why it says "Green Ghost" other than maybe the symbol on his shirt, doesn't explain Rose's Name…

Orchid Horror-Rose's Song, sounds familiar but can't place it

Rose's color is purple….and Orchid is a type of purple? But it's deep. Maybe it has to do with the symbol on her shirt too

Red Disc-Dave's song, also sounds new

All of the song names are based on the symbols on their shirts, not their alignment. But that makes sense, particularly if they wanted the colors to be at the beginning and make sense. Ok, definitely sounds familiar. Still can't place it. John and Dave are on their worlds. I wonder if Jade will be on hers, or if she will be like Rose. Maybe Dave's song has parts of the Medium songs in it? It's aggravating me now :/

Blue Atom-Jade's song, JAZZ. This one sounds really new. Dunno how I feel about it though :/

Her picture also has nothing to do with her world…Hmmm, I wonder if we'll get spoilers with the boys' worlds in the second part. That would be cool.

Cyan Beast-Jane's song. Doesn't really make me think of anything. Which makes me happy, since there shouldn't be a whole lot to compare it too XD

The picture is interesting. It's got Jane with a Trident and spoon. She's got all of her trinkest/gifts around her. GCat is in front of her, so maybe he will be connected to her more than the others? The behind her is a crumbling sphere with the Condesce's horns on it. Very interesting, no?

Pink Cat-Roxy's song. Also sounds pretty new so far. Has some violin in it, I think. Yeah, more violin-ish music. That's the only way I can describe it. And it kinda makes sense since that was Rose's thing. I'll see if there is any notable piano-ish sounds. She also has Nepeta's meowing (well not really, it's obviously connecting her to cats) then computer noises, since she's a hacker. Harp music now, and flute and more violin.

The picture isn't much. It's got Roxy with flying martini and Mutie chillin' behind her. The background is a dark purple though. You could describe that as being orchid.

Orange Hat-Dirk's song. Kinda cool. Lots of…I don't know how to define music :/ But it sounds synthesized to me. The feel almost makes me think of Davesprite's song. Not a lot, but the feel is sorta there. I'll have to listen to Davesprite again. But they do have the same colors. It's like a harder version of Davesprite? Dunno. I'll get back to this one after I listen to Davesprite.

The picture is pretty plain too. Just Dirk surrounded by his battle bots. Oh, and he should say away from the tanning booth. He's looking a little orange XD Ok, all of the droids have been beaten, and he's reclining on them as though they were a throne. Some have his glasses and others don't. I dunno about this one.

Emerald Terror-Jake's song. BAHAHAHA! It's old-timey music XD Or, at least, at the very beginning. Quite fitting. It has an exploration feel to it. Makes me think of some of the RPGs I play, it would be great for background music in a dungeon or something.

The picture is just Jake running around in the forest. He's surrounded by Lusii in the background. He does not look comfortable.

Squiddle Song-A song for the squiddles. The only one that it would really be appropriate to relate to would be Jade. Lol, has the same, I don't know how to describe it. It has the same upbeat sound, but the lyrics are not nearly appropriate for a kids' show XD Ok, so, remember when I said that the squiddles can be seen as the horrorterrors and Plumbthroat could be seen as Lord English? It sort of implies that Plumbthroat has killed the horrorterrors….I dunno, it's interesting though. Cute song. Ukulele, what else can I say? Also, the picture isn't really worth mentioning. Just squiddles being tanglebuddies.

Pendulum-Another Dave song. Very chill, but it fits the picture (which I will mention just like all the others, so chill). Well, there are drums…and they are not chill. I don't know how chill drums can be though, lol. I think I like this one. It's…I dunno, we need someone more versed in music than I x.x There's some familiar sounds at the end. About 2:40. Can't tell where from though. Could be from the Price of Oblivion, that would make sense.

Ok, picture time. HOLY SHIT DAVE'S DEAD! He's laying on a bed of roses and his throat has been cut. It's the same cut that they put on the disc in LoHaC and on the disc on his shirt. He's in his suit too. When did Dave's body die? Did it die? Confusion… I can't remember :/

Pale Rapture-Another John song. It has the same feel as the LoWaS song in the background. There's guitar music, too. Eh, that's all for that song.

Picture. Just John curled into a fetal position. He's covered in clouds. I assume they are the clouds above Prospit. He has something on his shoulder, but I can't tell what.

Do The Windy Thing-Do I need to say whose song this is? Same sounds as in the LoWaS song, but different enough. I like this one, too. It's appropriately epic. For whatever reason, John's songs seem to be mash-up of his original songs with new material to go with it. Dunno why.

Picture is just John being happy and flying around. These last two are just two different sides of what John can be like, I guess. He's usually upbeat. I don't know if we've really seen him down, other than when his dad was dead. I guess he got down whenever he thought of Dad.

Pilot Light-Another Jade song. Dunno what to say for this one. It's pretty cool. It's obviously referring to when she pilots the ship. What else would it be?

With the picture, it was definitely influenced by [S] Cascade. She's all spacey and she has the mini-planets around her. Along with the green sun acting as a third eye. Actually, it's just the four kids' planets. I don't see Skaia.

Ohgodcat-Do I have to explain this one as well ;) It's kinda cute, I guess. Dunno why, but it works for GCat, as far as I'm concerned, anyway. Can't explain it. Just a gut feeling. There's a part of it that sounds really familiar, but not in a "related to Homestuck" way. It starts at about 1:32. Wait! I know what it makes me think of, but I can't remember the name of the song! It's an old one. From the 80s I think. Wait, I dunno. "My blood runs cold. My (reverie) has just been sold. My angel is the centerfold." Yeah, it's the "My angel is the centerfold" part. It's higher pitched, but it's the same tune, just a higher octave. I'll try and find it. J. Geils Band: Centrefold. At the beginning they are playing the harmonica. I guess it's not exactly the same. I wouldn't know why they would associate GCat to that either.

Just GCat being a cat.

Cupcake Girl-If you don't know whose song this is, I will have to shoot you. It has the feel of a video game from the 80s. Think like Super Mario. But it could be any of them. Makes me think of the TMNT game I played with my cousin. Yeah, 80s video game music, particularly the SNES.

Just an adorable picture of Jane carrying baked confections. I like the style.

Phantasmic Youngsters-Jade and Rose this time. It's acoustic this time. It works for the "looking back at two youngsters that would have been terrors if they had been able to play together." It's cute.

Just Jade and Rose when they were babies playing pattie cake or something. They're in a -bit style. I dunno how many bits. Maybe 64? The pixels are pretty small, but not up to our standards.

Battle Brotocol-Dirk's robots. The two rapbots and one that looks more like Dirk. I wouldn't say it's auto-responder, but only because he's only a pair of glasses, and these glasses are connected to a robot. However, it /would/ make sense. Dirk's more sentient creations. How sentient is—no, I think it's actually Brobot with Jake. Although it could have worked with any of the battle bots he made. The song has robot speak in it, and towards the end it starts malfunctioning, but it says stuff like "Severe damage to life form detected….Failure…don't take easy (?)…bzzt, you w-w-w-win, bzzzt" Soooo…yeah! Although, I guess it could have been a brobot fighting Dirk…I dunno.

Bec Noir-He has a song on here, coo'. Makes sense, since Snowman had a song on Universe B. lol, synthesized dog barking. They like the old 80s video game feel for this album. Or just 80s in general.

The Vast Glub-Fef has a song on here o.O SHE DOES NOT BELONG! Although, actually, it's the one horror terror. The one that can destroy an entire universe or whatever if it decided to use its "vast glub." I dunno. It has the same elements as some of Fef's songs from before the coloUrs and mayhem albums.

The picture is definitely Fef's lusus, since Feferi was visiting it. I don't know if she was on speaking terms with many of the other horrorterrors. Oh wait! She was, since she was a Derse dreamer. It's still most likely Fef's lusus.

WV: Become Mayor of Can Town-Teehee. WV. Doesn't have any of the feel from the Wanderer's sound track. At least, I don't' think so.

It's got a cute picture of WV with Serenity still in her amber.


	40. Predictions

Longest one in a while. This pretty much is about all the latest flash updates. Then we tried to make some predictions, but it's a bit silly.

* * *

><p><strong>JESSICA<strong>

SO MUCH SYMBOLISM! And by that, I mean at least a little bit

Homestuck update finally worked

Soooo spoilers from here on

**JESSICA**

So, when I came to the fork in the road, I went right first. When I got to the end of that path, I clicked on one of the derigibles, and it said "Thousands of these roam around seeding and watering this planet. Yet nothing grows..." SYMBOLISM!

Very blatantly obvious symbolism

Also, there is a salamander carved into the ground, much like in the Andes Mountain range (I think)

I thought it was an interesting reference

OH! ALSO! At the very beginning, you can see two monoliths with the sign of life and the sign of heart at the bottom. I left it behind, so I can't really describe it right now, and i would have to go all the way back to the beginning .

"When three visitors look inward, the way to the Maid's palace will be cleared." Interesting. Is that three other visitors? Each of the players will visit her world eventually (supposedly)

I guess, something else to go with the "symbolism" up there is that her planet is the Land of Catacombs and Helium. It's linked to death. I wonder what Fef's planet was, was it ever mentioned? She was also a hero of life...dude...maybe Jane brings life to their session, even though it is void...maybe

**JESSICA**

hmmm, at one point you take a salamander's head off a pressure plate, and the monolith for void raises

I really think she's going to bring life to this session

goodness, i love the "tablets" in the farthest tomb. very mysterious ancient tablets XD

LoCaH, LoPaN, LoTaK, LoMaX

These are the worlds

First they were heroes, now they are nobles. So they'll be rulers rather than saviors?

nope, never mind

"it's pretty much the same thing, but is a title more commonly reserved for martyrs or tragic figures who toil in futility."

void session much?

"the aspect of hope is dead on arrival" because CD killed it with peanuts. Peanuts: Destroyers of Hope

"Fanfiction by any species is always a tough read"

"assist her with the housekeeping we've left behind" because that's what a maid is meant for XD

sorry! they were "obelisks" not "monoliths" silly me!

oh yeah, I wanted to mention that since her house fell into the pit, wouldn't it be much more difficult to make the ueberhaus? I wonder what antics Dad will get up to this time? Also, there has been a decided lack of enemies. There couldn't even be plain pawns, or do they require the sprite's prototyping?

**JESSICA**

Death. Death everywhere

SHE'S A LIAR! A LIAR McLIAR PANTS! I TOLD YOU SHE COULDN'T BE TRUSTED! She does not have the cadeuces or the other staff it is oft mistaken for. She is a fake.

**JESSICA**

"UU, who totally didn't come off as grumpy carried on into this conversation:

UU: i Understand.

UU: pardon my grUmpy demeanoUr. i jUst had a nap and did not sleep well.

GG: Ha ha, you call this grumpy?

UU: wasn't i being? :u

GG: Not exactly!

UU: well good! i do my best.

UU: really, as if my dreadfUl nap were not bad enoUgh, i woke Up to find my coplayer has made a terrible mess in here.

UU: bUt the good news is he has at least agreed to play with me once and for all. some people make nothing easy.

GG: That's good.

GG: But wait...

GG: I thought you said you've never met him?

UU: Um.

UU: i haven't!

UU: not in person.

GG: Then how did he make a mess in there?

GG: Did he break into your room while you were asleep?

UU: oh, yes, well, hmm.

UU: the thing with that is this.

UU: the thing with that is that we shoUld talk aboUt something else!

GG: Huh?

UU: why mUst yoU be sUch the vigilant gUmshoe, jane?

UU: always with the gUmshooery. pitch that pUzzlesavvy toward the conUndra littered aboUt yoUr planet!

UU: i'm becoming grUmpy again. do forgive me."

**JESSICA**

LIAR!

GG: It's rather desolate. Pretty eerie, actually.

GG: I haven't run into anyone at all. I think I might be alone here?

UU: yes isn't it great?

GG: The balloons are nice, I suppose.

UU: reminds me mUch of home. so peacefUl, so mUch space to yoUrself and time to think.

UU: yoU're so lUcky. i can't wait to get to my planet!

GG: Yes. But what about your brother?

UU: right, that.

UU: aboUt that.

UU: got to rUn! Ta, kisses, all that stUff! u3u

GG: Hey!

**JESSICA**

lol jake

**EMILY**

BAM DONE!

**JESSICA**

woo!

**KALYN**

I was reading that "The aspect of Hope is dead on arrival thing" and immediately went to that tumblr post about the movie poster with the whole "Hope survives thing." I really think that Jake might die the instant he is transported into the medium, and that Dirk's gonna have to come save his ass. It would be SO DRAMATIC! HOWEVER Jane IS the Hero of Life, so it could also totally be her, but Dirk is the one who described that poster's tagline thing. Or at least AR was.

**KALYN**

Just so you know though, I went into a screaming fit when I read that whole Hope might be dead thing and thought of that.

Guys, I think Jake is already dead!

He just got hit in the head by something from the forge and his light was snuffed out when all the lanterns were raised. And the inscriptions! The inscriptions say Jane is next! But she'll come back to life, because she is DA HERO OF LAIIIFF!

Guise, where is the last skull? DX

I did it!

With some help from tumblr.

Annnnd the next page isn't there yet.

Welp.

**…**

**EMILY**

speaking of homestuck...

do we actually have to finish that shit?

since he actually told you what to do

**KALYN**

whut

**JESSICA**

what?

**KALYN**

oh the game?

haha

**EMILY**

check homestuck

**KALYN**

you don't HAVE to

but it's good to understand some things more

at least with the pesterlogs, and also the tablets lying around

some of them are very informative

I did it this morning (with some help from tumblr to find that last skull)

**EMILY**

:(

**KALYN**

I mean, the walkthrough's there now. It would be so easy just to do it.

**EMILY**

fine

**KALYN**

You obviously don't have to, we've already alluded to some of the pesterlogs and tablets

**EMILY**

yeah ich weiss

**JESSICA**

Ok, why would we need to get all three skulls for?

Any reason other than feeling accomplished?

**EMILY**

nah fuck it

i ain't doin it

**KALYN**

haha, a sense of satisfaction I guess

I mean, you only need like one to be able to access everything

since when you get into that room, you... well we still haven't even seen it yet.

because it's just in separate updates.

So...

Who wants to make bets on which hero is gonna bring Jake back to life?

Will it be Jane, Hero of Life, and Jake's destined-to-be?

Or Dirk, who promised to go all-out and quoted the (oft prophetic) movie poster?

**EMILY**

hmmmm

jane

**JESSICA**

Honestly, I think it will be Jane, primarily because she is the hero of life

**EMILY**

boo ya

**JESSICA**

Dirk is the Prince of Heart, so...he's gonna destroy hearts and take names

**KALYN**

what? ._.

**JESSICA**

Princes destroy stuff!

Eridan destroyed hope!

**KALYN**

hm

**JESSICA**

Dirk is inevitably going to break hearts and take names

**KALYN**

Yeah, I'm just gonna wait and see on that one

take names?

**JESSICA**

Have you not heard that before? "Takin' names"?

It's like, how many lives you've destroyed sort of a thing

**KALYN**

I've heard it before...I wonder what exactly you mean by it

I'm gonna review some footage, it'll take a while

jsyk

**JESSICA**

he's gonna have a long list of broken hearts? how else would you take it?

k

OOOOOH! I'm going through the game again, and I was having serious issues, trying to figure out where I had heard that music before. It's from Medium, isn't it?

Not only that, I think it might be one of the "easter eggs"

i wanna say it's rain and shade or something

**KALYN**

yeah it's from Medium

not sure which one it is, but I have them in itunes. I could compare them.

later though

**JESSICA**

i'm doing that now

It's Light and Rain? Why would it be Light and Rain? It is, but, I'm confused as to why...

**EMILY**

stupid facebook...

gonna take a showa now

**JESSICA**

k, later

**KALYN**

hm LaR

k

it probably just sounded nice

**JESSICA**

maybe, it's just convenient that is also Rose's land

the rain makes sense though

**KALYN**

huh?

**JESSICA**

Rose=Land of Light and Rain

also, the derigibles make it rain

**KALYN**

I know, but what is convenient... what

derigibles?

**JESSICA**

The things that are floating everywhere? Making it rain?

**KALYN**

ok, the balloon things

**JESSICA**

Fine, coincedental instead of convenient

**KALYN**

oh ok

**….**

**JESSICA**

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! Homestuck update!

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!

Ok, it's like the last one, but that's not really the point, also, as far as I can tell, the puzzle is really easy. I could have missed something, but I don't think so.

SPOILER! MEGA HUGE SUPERSIZED SPOILER THAT I THINK IS FLLIPPING AWESOME!

Guess who's standing in front of her house? You will never guess, it's like, out of nowhere

Of course, by the time you read this, you probably know exactly who is standing outside of her house, with his four diagonal scars, and his ...weird...floaty devices? In his god tier outfit!

Gamzee! It's our old buddy Gamzee. I think this might even be our Gamzee, because of the scars he got from Nepeta. The only question is, when did he reach god tier?

**JESSICA**

Really, he could have at any time during th game.I don't think anyone was really paying attention to him. Also, they can change out of their "pajamas" that is an option. So, yeah. This might also be why none of them have seen him. He could have, like, I dunno, died or something and then got to god tier, or he just decided to head out on his own or something? Or he just wandered into the medium on his ... non...existent...wings? I just noticed he doesn't have wings. But he does have the gratuitous codpiece x.x So, yeah, either they can hide their wings (since Hussie said that doodle was 100% canon, and he had wings then, or he was lying. I'm assuming the former).

Anyway, back to what I was saying, Gamzee could have just meandered off into the medium on his wings. Since he lacks faygo and sopor slime, I assume he didn't leave in a daze. Anyway. He's chill, happy, and smiling. Yay! Gamzee!

**JESSICA**

SPOILER UP THERE ^^^^ DON'T READ IT UNTIL YOU'VE READ HOMESTUCK, HOMES!

**…**

**EMILY**

man i kinda wanted to click on fuck no

**JESSICA**

I clicked on both, they had the same result

**EMILY**

oh

but what if i want the gamz to be my guide

**JESSICA**

lol, he's not a very good conscious, so no

or, at least, i don't think he is

i could be wrong

**EMILY**

but it'd be a lot of fun

so yeah...when did the gamz get there?

**JESSICA**

i think in the end Jane has no choice in the matter

Who knows? He's had two years AWOL

**EMILY**

she did have to walk to get to the house so he could've just been chillin and walking around and came about the house

**JESSICA**

oh, ok, i see what you mean

yeah, he was probably wandering inside

**EMILY**

but we thought he was on the asteroid

totally tried to say meteroid

**JESSICA**

I know, that's what I said, he's had two years, he also is at god tier

**EMILY**

true

wait

question

so...

**JESSICA**

Besides, there is the possibility this isn't our Gam, just a very recent deviation

**EMILY**

male trolls wouldn't need junk since the have buckets

so...what's filling his codpiece?

**JESSICA**

not necessarily

they could still have junk

they could be like fish

**EMILY**

what would be the point?

**JESSICA**

aim?

**EMILY**

but then what would be the point of having genders

**JESSICA**

ovaries vs sperm

probably

I DON'T KNOW!

**EMILY**

but can't they fill buckets with members of the same sex

**JESSICA**

yup

**EMILY**

they aren't human so they don't have eggs/sperm

**JESSICA**

fine, convenience for the reader

**EMILY**

they have bucket slime

**JESSICA**

They could, humans aren't the only ones with eggs and sperm

maybe they have both, and the hormones they have effect what gender they are

**EMILY**

but that would mean that they couldn't mate with the same sex

**JESSICA**

no, no, what i'm saying is each individual has both

so when they fill the buckets there's an orgy of eggs and sperm

actually, that would kinda make sense, because given the odds, at least half of it would be incestuous

We cracked the code!

Until Morgan or Kalyn get on and poke all sorts of holes in it

What else though?

**MORGAN**

jessica, in response to your possible "recent deviation" theory, timelines have only crossed each other in dream bubbles/the void. So this would have to be our gamzee, alpha timeline and all.

**JESSICA**

well good, since that was just a shot in the dark, devil's advocate and all that

**MORGAN**

yeah, that's the only one i'm shooting down though. I figured it wasn't like a fully developed theory or anything

**JESSICA**

woot! so, how about everything else? do you pretty much agree, or what?

**MORGAN**

um... i'm not even going to address all that shit about troll junk

**JESSICA**

hahahahaha

**MORGAN**

I'm such a whore lawl

with my bed

all day long

fuck yes

**JESSICA**

and yet, you refuse to read anything about troll reproduction?

**MORGAN**

goddamnit, i went to throw away my shit, and kalyn typed that

**JESSICA**

hahahaha

that's what you get? I guess? not really?

**MORGAN**

she was talking about herself to!

all that, she does that

**JESSICA**

am i surprised?

but you know what, i don't really get out of bed much either...

**MORGAN**

she's trying to massage my back with her feet right now...

**JESSICA**

SUCH A SLOBBY, LAZY PERSON!

**MORGAN**

it's not working

**JESSICA**

aw

**MORGAN**

i'm a foot rest right now

**JESSICA**

lol

**MORGAN**

and it's really hot in here right now

shenanigans

**JESSICA**

yay for shenanigans

**…..**

**MORGAN**

JESSICA

CHESS PIECE CANDY MOLDS!

**JESSICA**

I saw something on WhimsicalVoid's tumblr about tat

**MORGAN**

also, speaking of chess

**JESSICA**

could you imagine chess jigglers?

**MORGAN**

you know how in the game of (ohmygod we thought about that and yes so much)

**JESSICA**

*gasp!* I just realized we never had jigglers this year D:

anyway, what were you saying?

**MORGAN**

anyway, in chess rules, if a pawn reaches the end, it can be switched for another more powerful piece

or in other ways of looking at it, take on the powers of that piece

**JESSICA**

myes?

sure

**MORGAN**

PM is the pawn that reached the end of the chess board and took on the white queen's power, but in the form of a ring

**JESSICA**

(never thought of it that way, i thought, they did some sort of...resurrection ting, or whatever)

Yeah!

**MORGAN**

just wanted to throw that correlation in there

**JESSICA**

Yeah, hmmm, what would Jack be? Would he also be a pawn? Or do we have to look at him way differently since he usurped the Black Queen

**MORGAN**

hmmmaybe

he's also kind of a combination of like... cards and chess to me

**JESSICA**

i'm going to get some more juice, and then i should probably read and take notes for Psychology, soooooo yeah...

**MORGAN**

like, i see him as a jack

ok

**JESSICA**

True, since he's Jack of Spades no less

**MORGAN**

yeah

**….**

**JESSICA**

Oh god. I don't know what to make of this. First off, I would just like to say that the fact the music is elevator stuck makes me laugh. Goodness.

K, spoilers from here!

The music fits the whole shopping mart vibe. Just the gentle background music sort of thing, for Gamzee's market.

But FUCK! Do you know what he's selling? Troll blood! All the dead trolls! It took me a meowment (unintentional typo, but fitting, since it was Nepeta's blood that tipped me off). But, shit, why? Why would he be there selling troll blood to innocent bespectacled broads?

Oh goodness, why?

Spoilers up there ^

And spoilers down here SPOILERS I SAY!

I think Nepeta's powers (if it's not just her blood) does kinda work how I said it would. The potion is supposed to make your intended sweetheart fall head over heels for you. Also, I'm pretty sure Gamzee used that on Tavros...What did he accomplish by that?

**KALYN**

oh lawl, I didn't realize this was spoilers because it sounded so goddamn absurd, so I skimmed it first. XD I thought you were joking, lmfao

**JESSICA**

WHY IS HE EVEN THERE? How did he get there? I know Bards are supposed to be unpredictable, so is this part of his nature? To just appear where he isn't even remotely expected to be?

No! I don't joke that well...

But thanks for the faith!

God, I was giggling the entire time! Too funny!

**EMILY**

well, i'm just buying all of them...

if you say yes to eridan's "elixir" he puts the money in his codpiece!

**JESSICA**

fahaha, Yeah, I was thinking about going through and actually saying yes. If you don't, he just forces a ton onto you

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

I didn't even think of "420" with the whole marijuana thing. Oops! Also, this should have been added in three days XD

Or it might end in three days?

**EMILY**

oh?

**KALYN**

I think Nepeta's powers (if it's not just her blood) does kinda work how I said it would. The potion is supposed to make your intended sweetheart fall head over heels for you. Also, I'm pretty sure Gamzee used that on Tavros...What did he accomplish by that?

This is the passage of yours I question, but we'll see I guess, maybe. Maybe not though, since it's a pretty retrospective statement.

**JESSICA**

I was just thinking. You know what would be a really good way to either make a living or supplament an income? Creating cosplay costumes. If you do a good job, people would be willing to pay buco bucks for them. A good way to use a costume designing degree or whatever it is they get. Don't go into film! Go into cosplay!

**JESSICA**

Seriously, there are people paid to go to conventions and whatever dressed as different characters. There are always people who want to cosplay but don't have the time to make cool costumes.

**JESSICA**

I was thinking about that as I was imagining how you would do a cool Snowman costume; how you would do the carapace skin. They have techniques and stuff to do that! Maybe I should make that a hobby...

**JESSICA**

K, Kalyn, for whatever reason, facebook only just now "notified" me to your last comment. I don't know why, I usually just have to refresh, but I randomly heard the notification sound. Eh, whatever, I digress.

(^that last statement was not said with the rest of the stuff, it was 30 minutes later)

**KALYN**

huh, strange ok

**JESSICA**

So, yeah, would you explain how you question it? The way Gamzee explained the bloods/wicked elixers implies that they either imbue the personalities(or in Tav's and Eq's cases, physical traits)/latent talents of the person. Eridan was just a douche, there was nothing tied to his powers. Fef's blood was connected to her powers because they could heal (which, this might have something to do with saving Jake).

Vriska's powers had something to do with Light (and I would like to say that she /did/ have some sort of power over luck.) because luck isn't a personality or physical trait; so that's most likely a latent power.

Then there is Nepeta's blood. When someone gives it to someone else, it makes that someone else fall in love with the giver. In effect it is a love potion. I think what I said before was along the lines of "she can steal someone's love and give it to someone else," sort of a thing. My reasoning was basically Robin Hood. He stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Whatever she does will be beneficial to others, since Rogues are a positive force rather than a negative force. So that's where that came from.

Then there is Sol's blood, and I doubt that has anything to being a hero of Doom. That's more of just how Sol is, like Eridan, Eq and Tavros. It gives you great hacking skillz, but again, that has nothing to do with being a Mage or being a hero of Doom (I assume).

**JESSICA**

Little edit on Eridan's, forgot to mention that you will go lovesick crazy and want to be with everyone. But again, that has nothing to do with being a Prince of Hope

Ok, I guess I got a little offtrack with the love potion bit too. Let me have a second to think about that one again.

**KALYN**

Ah. (Actually, Eridan's will make you consumed with /lust/ for everything around you.) See, now the Nepeta thing makes sense as a Robin Hood deal, if it's someone else who can use that power of hers. I wish I'd seen this power of hers in action (although maybe it was just her shipping wall, or even the fact that Equius totally went for a peasantblooded Aradia)

**KALYN**

Either way, I shall accept this theory as credible.

**JESSICA**

Strange what happens when I can/do take the time to fully explain myself

**KALYN**

The real question is whether any of these elixirs actually work, because I read it the way Jane did. That Gamzee was just blowing steam. However! Part of Jane's character is that she is highly skeptical of everything, even if it's true, so Gamzee could in fact be selling magical trollblood elixirs.

**JESSICA**

I wouldn't be surprised if they worked. Also, I was thinking. He's always been mentioning wicked elixers, and we always assumed it was faygo, but what if it wasn't?

**KALYN**

Oh shoat.

**JESSICA**

He had a seemingly endless supply of a human beverage.

I started thinking of that as soon as he said "wicked elixer"

**JESSICA**

No one really paid attention to what he was doing all by himself, and when he took the bodies they were like "Oh, that's just something he's been doing," in a totally blase manner.

How /did/ they meet him? He didn't do the roleplay thing, did he? Or did he contact them all, knowing that if they all came together it would open the path for the Mirthful Messiahs?

**KALYN**

I'm pretty sure all the trolls roleplayed together at some point

**EMILY**

did karkat roleplay?

**KALYN**

yeah I wanna say he did

he knew how fucking crazy Vriska was

largely from the roleplaying

I think it got to a point where only a few were still playing it though. Like Tavros would have stopped, and Aradia

**EMILY**

so karkat was already friends with gamzee, roleplayed, then kinda introduced them

**KALYN**

I'm sure the more moderately crazy trolls like Kar and Sol would have pulled out too at that point

I dunno about that

**EMILY**

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

**KALYN**

We don't know who knew each other first or longer, besides the obvious Fef and Eridan as waterdwellers (LAWL EMILY REALLY) and Vriska and Equius as neighbors

**EMILY**

true

you said pulled out

**KALYN**

But maybe you could infer from their relationships, so like Gamzee called Karkat his best bro, or like Vriska and Terezi were Scourge Sisters

Yes, I know

**EMILY**

true

**….**

**KALYN**

oh god

OH GOD

OH GOD GO READ HOMESTUCK

RIGHT FUCKING NOW

WHY WOULD GAMZEE DO THIS

**KALYN**

WHY COULDN'T HE JUST CHOOSE ONE

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK

I FUCKING CANT

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO WORK

HOW ARE THEY GOING TO

JUST

FUCKING

COEXIST

IN

ONE

MOTHERFUCKING

SPRITEBODY

WHATTHEFUUUUUUUUUUCK

I'M BEING AS VAGUE AS I POSSIBLY CAN

BUT

MOTHERFUCKIN

WHAT?

THIS IS SO SHOCKING!

WHY HUSSIE?

WHYYYYYYYYY!

**JESSICA**

Gamzee! FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I just, I just can't stop laughing!

Poor things! Now they're going to have to find someway to get along, but seriously, why would he do that? Why would he do any of it? ahahaha

Gamzee, you sick motherfucker!

And he's still just standing there, waving

I honestly thought he would just choose Tavros, but nope! Of course he couldn't!

K, you have to read homestuck now, it is of the utmost importance!

So, if Jane had said yes, would he have jumped into the kernel?

**KALYN**

That's a really good question. I dunno!

I'm actually wondering why he doesn't have the other bodies in there! Why only Vriska and Tavros? And how did he get them into her refrigerator? Did he just set up shop there and stick them in the fridge to make it his "chest of whimsy" or whatever? Like a little kid playing pretend who just uses anything they can find to make it awesome? I dunno.

**KALYN**

Also, pretty sure this is post-intermission, 16-year-old (don't wanna do the sweep math) Gamzee, as they were all supposed to meet when they were all the same age. That would be my guess. Since I don't know how he could have gotten there faster than the rest of them.

So, basically, shenanigans.

We don't see everything chronologically in Homestuck because everything doesn't happen chronologically.

(This is mostly a response to your declaration that Gamzee's been AWOL for two years. I don't think he could have just gone off on his own, become God Tier and then beat the rest of them to the post-scratch Universe B.)

(also we've only been with them on their journey for one year so far.)

**EMILY**

so strange

oh homestuck

**JESSICA**

I thought it was 2 years, oops, still. He was missing all that time.

Also, I was thinking, he has Eridan, Feferi, Sollux, Nepeta, and Equius still in his possession, right? What if he gives them all sprites? Two per person, and then himself (along with whoever is left over) for the last person to enter.

I also didn't really think he went to god tier after they left their game. He easily could have /during/ the game. Like I said, no one really paid attention to him. He was sort of an enigma for everyone. If I remember correctly they were more like "He's just the crazy dude. We're honestly surprised he survived."

**EMILY**

yeah maaaan!

then he went...fuck

that would've been so much easier if he was rogue

but no

he had t0 be bard

(0 unintentional but i decided to keep it)

**KALYN**

Holy shit, what if all the trolls did have to be paired together as sprites.

**JESSICA**

What?

**KALYN**

Who do you think would be paired?

**EMILY**

crazy

nepeta/equius

**JESSICA**

Sollux and Fef

**EMILY**

or equius/aradia

**JESSICA**

Yeah, Nep and Eq

**EMILY**

or maybe not

**JESSICA**

and then Eridan and Gamzee

**EMILY**

hmmm

**JESSICA**

If only because they were left over

also, Aradia isn't dead...

**EMILY**

wouldn't gamzee have to sacrifice himself?

**KALYN**

Eridan and Sollux; Feferi and Nepeta; Equius and Gamzee.

would be fucking hilarious.

**JESSICA**

That was another one too

**EMILY**

^emily's question

**JESSICA**

Either enemies, or love interests, because Tavros and Vriska almost hd that sort of thing

Yes, Gamzee would have to

**KALYN**

I think it'll be Fef and Eridan, Nepeta and Equius, and Sollux and Gamzee

**EMILY**

do you think he would actually do that?

**KALYN**

that would be my guess

**JESSICA**

Would you be surprised?

No, I thought he would have jumped in if Jane had said yes to him being her guide

**EMILY**

ah

that does make sense

**JESSICA**

Now, who would they go to? Any guesses/predictions?

**EMILY**

i don't think we'll be able to guess

**JESSICA**

I wanna say Dirk might get Gamzee, because of L'il Cal

**EMILY**

why did jane get vriska/tavros?

**JESSICA**

John's connection to Vriska? lol, that wouldn't make sense for anyone else other than Dirk and Gamzee

Gamzee only ever really interacted with Dave, and then the others never really did talk to the kids

**EMILY**

so then why would gamzee want dirk?

he hates dave

**JESSICA**

L'il Cal

We don't know if he actually hates Dave or not

**EMILY**

aren't they supposed to be like kismises?

**JESSICA**

I don't think there was anything canonical mentioning that

**EMILY**

.com/wiki/Gamzee_Makara

**KALYN**

I dunno, wiki editors don't always have their facts straight. Sometimes they try to canonize speculation.

But I do like the idea.

**EMILY**

of dave/gamzee kismises?

cause i've known about that for a while

**KALYN**

Do you think we could predict it based on personality? Would there be a specific reason Jane would get Vriska/Tavros? Because she could have gotten Fef, for obvious reasons.

**JESSICA**

See, I think it's just speculation, Dave did send the video that led to the flipout

**KALYN**

Well there was that potential Karkat/Dave kismesis happening for a while recently

**JESSICA**

She and Dirk would be the only ones who would have gotten trolls based on alignments though

**KALYN**

I'm talking about the Condesce connection

**JESSICA**

Actually, I think Kanaya/Gamzee would be more likely

Well, if we're going by that, Dirk would still get Gamzee

**KALYN**

as a kismesis? possible, they did mention it, right? But I don't remember if Kanaya confirmed those feelings or not.

That's what I'm saying. Maybe there's a reason Vriska/Tavros have to be her guide.

**JESSICA**

Or, Jake would because of Lord English, but that's sketchy. Ok, Kanaya is seriously hankering for a full out chainsaw brawl

**KALYN**

Tavris. I should just get used to calling it that.

**JESSICA**

lol

**EMILY**

vrisros?

**JESSICA**

no, Tavris is the official name

**EMILY**

oh...

seems too tavrosy

**JESSICA**

lol Tavrisprite

Now, let's see, why Tavros and Vriska

They obviously had a connection to each other before

**KALYN**

Things Jane is lacking: Roxy's always getting on her for being skeptical of everything. Tavros has the fairy connection of believing in things?

Also, they both had the self esteem issues.

**JESSICA**

Vriska and Tav, or Jane and Tav?

**KALYN**

Vriska and Tav

brb

**JESSICA**

k, i'll continue to brainstorm

If we were to go by things they are lacking, then Jake will probably get Eq

**KALYN**

Yeah I was just about to say

He needs to be a better fighter and he's also too gullible

**JESSICA**

Yeah, who would be there to temper his gullibility (made that up)

**KALYN**

haha

Sol maybe? idk

Either someone who's a skeptic, or someone who's straightforward and informative

so it could also be Fef

**JESSICA**

I wonder if this is to help the trolls as well as the kids

**KALYN**

she's always been a good informant

**JESSICA**

Yeah

**KALYN**

you know what? I wouldn't be surprised

the trolls are sort of joining minds, so they'll have no choice but to understand each other

**JESSICA**

Yea

So, it could easily be Sol and Eridan, or Fef and Eridan

**KALYN**

but Fef is the one where I wonder how she could benefit from being paired with anyone. Other than Eridan, that is, since it would be good if she understood-ah, you just said what I was taking too long to say

**JESSICA**

Nepeta and Eq would probably be separated, they are moirailes

**KALYN**

Yeah

So

Maybe Nepeta and Eridan?

Fuck, no,

**JESSICA**

Yeah, why not?

**KALYN**

Eridan's already splite

split

**JESSICA**

What do you mean?

**EMILY**

gah fucking wait

**KALYN**

between Fef and Sol

sorry

**EMILY**

he could be a sprite with himself!

**KALYN**

what?

**JESSICA**

Oh, but, he would be able to benefit from Nepeta

**KALYN**

That's true, he totally

woul

d

**JESSICA**

Nepeta has a decent grasp on how they should go together

I think Gamzee has a comparable knowledge though

**KALYN**

Consider those powers in the elixirs. Nepeta's is all about heart and understanding feelings of others, while Eridan's was all about being a douchebag and overcome with lust for everything.

They would balance each other out.

**JESSICA**

Yeah

I was thinking that maybe Jake would get Eq and Sol

**KALYN**

I like that idea

Brains and brawns

**JESSICA**

Eq to help with his strength, and then Roxy and Dirk don't need any help with their l33t hacking skillz

*haxxor, sorry

**KALYN**

Nepeta/Eridan is like love/lust

Dirk?

That would leave Fef and Gamzee

I would love to see Roxy and Gamzee together

**EMILY**

or fef/eridan

**JESSICA**

Gamzee is really whimsical

**KALYN**

for some reason, I feel like Roxy is kind of like a good balance between Fef and Gamzee

so that would work out pretty well

**JESSICA**

Hmmm

Whoever Gamzee will go with is probably the last to enter

**KALYN**

Probably

Which is either Roxy or Jake

**JESSICA**

now, we already know that Jake will be dead when he entres, or something like that

**KALYN**

My guess is Roxy, since Dirk and Jane kinda have to be around Jake

for the bets on who's gonna revive him

**EMILY**

why do we know jake will be dead?

**KALYN**

and I think Jake is dead right now

Because of the game that you refused to play!

**JESSICA**

Well, I was thinking, that Dirk would probably get Fef so he could revive him

**EMILY**

Why?

**KALYN**

The tablets! They tell you everything! Jake's lamp wasn't lit!

**JESSICA**

It was a phrophecy

**EMILY**

oh

shit

god damn it

**KALYN**

Oh that's interesting, but I don't know if she can just give her powers like that

There's still the kissing, that hasn't happened yet

**JESSICA**

lol

But his dream self is dead, killed by peanuts

well, most likely

**KALYN**

oh shit

**EMILY**

what if jake has to "revive" dirk?

**KALYN**

that's right

but it was CD wasn't it?

how do we know he didn't totally fuck up?

**JESSICA**

yeah, true

he is kinda bumbling

**EMILY**

fuck you guys have lost me

**KALYN**

(it was early on in the new universe. the Dersian agents were killing the alpha kids' dream selves)

**EMILY**

remember that

**JESSICA**

Yeah Jack Noir and CD

**KALYN**

(Jane and Jake were killed, Jake's by peanuts)

**EMILY**

cd?

**KALYN**

Clubs Deuce

short little guy

**JESSICA**

the short little guy who likes hats

**EMILY**

ah

**KALYN**

generally good-natured

haha

**EMILY**

jake=peanuts?

**KALYN**

He's allergic

**JESSICA**

allergies

john is too

**KALYN**

John is also allergic, which was mentioned wayyyyyy long ago

**JESSICA**

in case you wanted to know, lol

**EMILY**

don't remember any of that

**KALYN**

and I brought it up long ago in Homestuck Therapy and wondered if it would be important later

and it is

**EMILY**

oh?

**JESSICA**

lol

Can we go back the sprites, please?

**KALYN**

yes

**EMILY**

:(

**KALYN**

okay so I wanna say the order's gonna go Jane, Dirk, Jake, Roxy

**JESSICA**

I honestly feel like Dirk might benefit more from Gamzee than Roxy would

**KALYN**

did those tablets say anything about the order of entry?

**JESSICA**

I don't remember

**KALYN**

How do you think he can benefit?

**JESSICA**

Who's Jane's server player?

Roxy or Dirk?

**KALYN**

currently, it's Autoresponder

**EMILY**

dirk

well

**JESSICA**

Ok, then yeah, he'd be second

**EMILY**

autoresponder through dirk

**KALYN**

Which is why I think Jake will be next? Because of that whole... well actually, it might also be Roxy

Jake could be last, because of the whole dead thing.

Being dead, he can't really be server player to Dirk, can he?

**JESSICA**

Not really

but on that note, could he be Roxy's server player?

**KALYN**

yeah,

good question

so maybe right now he's just knocked out?

lol

either way, lamp's snuffed out

says something

**JESSICA**

And then he dies as soon as he enters?

**KALYN**

He's dead upon entry I belive

**JESSICA**

Maybe there was something that happens when he tries to enter

**KALYN**

believe

**JESSICA**

Like, he didn't get to his item quite in time

Kinda like when Bellatrix killed Dobby

**EMILY**

can i just say that i love this kpop troll on youtube

**KALYN**

Yeah I thought at first that that's what could have happened to Jane, but nope

**EMILY**

it's just so ridiculous

**KALYN**

agh

ok

**JESSICA**

But Jake was supposed to be dead, not Jane

**EMILY**

this is one sherlock="THIS "THING"(READ CRAP) NEWER GONNA BE AS COOL AS JUSTIN BIEBERS MUSIC( REAL MUSIC) IS!

JUSTIN BIEBER IS SO TALENTED HE IS SO PURE AND HONEST!

ALSO IF U LIKE REAL MUSIC AND HAVE GOOD MUSIC TASTE U GONNA SUPORT LADY GAGA! SHE IS 1 REAL LADY THAT KNOWES HOW TO DRESS UP(MANY OF KPOP "TRY TO B GIRLS" ARE COPY HER STILE)

MY BIG EDUCATION TEACHED ME WHAT REAL MUSIC IS! MY BEST MUSIC TASTE AND MY NOBEL BEHAVIOR ARE THE THING OF STILE WITCH I REALLY HAVE!"

**KALYN**

I know, I was just recalling the feeling

**EMILY**

*is on

**KALYN**

that is some beautiful trolling

**EMILY**

truth

seen him/her on bigbang's videos too

**KALYN**

anyway, about the trollsprites

How do you think Dirk can benefit from Gamzee, Jessica?

**JESSICA**

Because Gamzee is a little more whimsical, he doesn't really care, Dirk kinda gets caught up in stuff, right?

**KALYN**

does he?

**JESSICA**

Hasn't he planned out how he plans on asking Jake "out on a date"

which is a really lame way to put that

**KALYN**

did he say that?

wait

**JESSICA**

I think AR hinted at that

**KALYN**

date?

yes, AR did more than hint at it

**JESSICA**

Not really

**KALYN**

not a date

more like

"LOVE ME!

**JESSICA**

More like "Hey, Jake, I love you"

**KALYN**

"

yeah a lot of fancomics depict it as just that

**JESSICA**

lol, I know, i wasn't serious with the "date" thing

**KALYN**

like "Bro. Love. Don't worry about it. Just thought I'd let you know."

Although AR thought it would be more like this whole big thing

**EMILY**

man i want some food...

**KALYN**

like setting up a huge scenario that would make for the perfect romadventurous setting

**JESSICA**

I feel he's like Dave who worries about how John feels about him (Only this is definitely homosexual)

**KALYN**

ok, sure

**JESSICA**

That's what I'm saying, he's planned it out

Gamzee goes more with the flow

**KALYN**

alright, I get it now

**JESSICA**

I think Gamzee and Roxy would be a train wreck XD

**KALYN**

lot less vague than getting "caught up in stuff"

**EMILY**

i still feel like gamzee isn't gonna be a sprite

**KALYN**

I dunno, they could bond over substances

**EMILY**

hahahaha

**KALYN**

Roxy's just a more active version of Gamzee

**JESSICA**

That's what I'm saying! They would both me in a stupor!

**KALYN**

Roxy is to drink as Gamzee is to weed

**EMILY**

they would both you?

**JESSICA**

Roxy would drink a lot, and if Gamzee could, he would totally zone out

**KALYN**

oh, so they would be a train wreck for you

not that they wouldn't get along

ok I see

**EMILY**

they would be a party

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I think they could get a long fine

**EMILY**

a rockin party

**KALYN**

true story

**JESSICA**

I just don't think it would be beneficial for both parties

**EMILY**

and again i'm talking to the wall

**KALYN**

naw, man, I responded to you

"true story"

**EMILY**

before that

**KALYN**

when you were talking about wanting food? yeah that was talking to a wall

**JESSICA**

Oh, the sprite thing?

**EMILY**

no

**KALYN**

because what are we gonna say to that

**EMILY**

yes

**KALYN**

oh yeah I noticed that

**JESSICA**

where Gamzee isn't going to be one?

**EMILY**

yes

**JESSICA**

You mentioned it before too

Still don't like it

**KALYN**

I think he could be, because he did volunteer to be the guide, and it evens it out

because the sprites need to be prototyped twice, it's why he's doing it two at a time

**JESSICA**

Yup

**EMILY**

isn't jack (or whoever) gaining their powers then?

**JESSICA**

As far as other trolls, I kinda think Gamzee could go with anyone

**KALYN**

isn't that just the pre-enter prototypes?

**JESSICA**

Hmmm, well, if they were to gain the powers, it would be the Condesce

**KALYN**

I'm pretty sure the changes only take place when they prototype before they enter.

it's why this session is void.

**JESSICA**

And the white Queen

**KALYN**

Jane couldn't prototype, so the battlefield isn't evolving

and the imps aren't taking on powers

and there are no orbs on the towers

and and and

**JESSICA**

There haven't been any imps

**KALYN**

this has been established

so no one is taking on any powers here

**JESSICA**

But then, the sprite was only just now prototyped

**KALYN**

yes

and?

**JESSICA**

lol, wait

well, i was thinking that the powers would have just now been sent out

which is why we wouldn't have seen any enemies

but there is the whole "No towers" thing

**KALYN**

no powers are happening here

no towers, no powers

**JESSICA**

Right, that was the part I forgot about

if it wasn't for that though, there isn't any reason the powers couldn't go to the monarchs' rings

**KALYN**

also, in the previous session, any post-enter prototypings didn't affect the enemies

they didn't start looking like Nana or Jade or Dave or Jasper

**JESSICA**

It was only said that the first prototyping would affect enemies

**KALYN**

yes

**JESSICA**

whether that was because they were prototyped before entry or after is actually unknown

this is unprecedented as far as we're concerned

**KALYN**

mmm, but it was essential that they prototyped before entry

because it allowed enemies to take on those powers and the battlefield to evolve

because then both sides have the same powers before entry

and they're on an even field, like chess

**JESSICA**

I just had to think about it for a moment, I let my fingers take control

Bad idea

**KALYN**

so even if it was the case that the second prototyping would affect enemies if it happened pre-entry or if it wouldn't no matter when it happened, it is still necessary for the first prototyping to happen before entry in order to affect enemies

huh?

**JESSICA**

Bad idea went with the statement that immediately preceded it

**KALYN**

yes... what is that preceding statement referring to?

**JESSICA**

Your confusion?

**KALYN**

uhhhh

**JESSICA**

This entire tangent that I caused?

that?

**KALYN**

the statement... oh-kay?

**JESSICA**

It doesn't matter, it's ok

**KALYN**

um

alright

so

what was the point of this tangent? what is the focus of this conversation supposed to be?

What is it that you want to discuss tonight before I pass out?

I have some shit to do tomorrow that I should get up early for

earlier than usual*

which isn't that early but still

**JESSICA**

It's cool

**KALYN**

ok

**JESSICA**

All I really wanted to talk about was predictions

**KALYN**

I'll copy/paste this shit later

so like, what trolls and which kids and all that?

I predict that Dirk loves Jake and Jake gives him a chance.

but this has more or less been established.

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

and then I predict that it doesn't work out for some reason, and Jane gets her chance and she and Jake live happily ever after.

**JESSICA**

Yes it has, I was talking about the trolls and kids, we got the trolls fleshed out, but who /gets/ the trolls, not really

**KALYN**

ok

**JESSICA**

(Ew! They're like brother and sister!)

**KALYN**

but in the Beta universe they ...

were /going/ to live happily ever after

but then he went off adventuring and she settled for Colonel Sassacre

**JESSICA**

They were raised as brother and sister...

**KALYN**

wait, no, lawl, Sassacre was her dad

Crocker was her mom

**JESSICA**

Yeah

**KALYN**

she settled for some nameless and birthed Dad

ok, yes they were raised as brother and sister, but they still had that whole deal where they planned on living together happily ever after

go read it!

**JESSICA**

Yeah, and Jake got no one and lived as an adventurer the rest of his life!

**KALYN**

I'm not saying it's "right" or whatever, but it's there!

Ok, so that's probably what'll happen here then for sure.

And just like in Beta, Roxy is totally gonna bone Dad.

Yep.

just like in Beta.

**JESSICA**

And Dirk will be all alone with his smuppets

**KALYN**

Dirk

fuck

**JESSICA**

Yup, just like Beta

**KALYN**

you took mine away

**JESSICA**

lol

**KALYN**

hahahahahaha

this is a great tangent and all

**JESSICA**

going to bed?

**KALYN**

but I still stand by that possibility

no, I'm just sticking with my theory

until it's disproven

**JESSICA**

oh, ok, never mind

**KALYN**

the first part at least

I believe strongly in

because it's pretty much been outlined for us

but I still think Jane'll get her chance

**JESSICA**

that Jake gives him the chance? Or that it doesn't work out and then Jake and Jane get each other?

**KALYN**

unless we get that whole "Surprise! You're related!" thing

**JESSICA**

Ok, I definitely stand behind the Jake Dirk thing too

**KALYN**

All of it

I think Dirk will get his chance.

I don't know how it'll happen, or if he'll even be the one doing the reviving of the dead Jake

**JESSICA**

Psh, I think they will only find out they are related when our Kids show up

**KALYN**

but Jake has already decided to be "adventurous" so that's exactly what he's gonna do

I think so too

and Gamzee's already there, so everyone else can't be far behind

**JESSICA**

Also, Jake will most likely mess up his plans

**KALYN**

huh?

whose plans?

Dirk's?

**JESSICA**

Dirk's

**KALYN**

ok

yeah because Dirk doesn't know that Jake's cool with it

**KALYN**

I'm not even sure he knows that he knows

He's got this huge plan thing, where he woos Jake through whatever dramatic means

**JESSICA**

What? Who knows who knows what?

**KALYN**

(Dirk knows Jake knows)

(about him being totally gay for him)

**JESSICA**

Yeah, no, I don't think he does

**KALYN**

(Dirk being totally gay for Jake*)

but yeah Jake kinda doesn't really need the wooing

but you know he might go for it anyway

I think he has a flare for drama as well

loves those movies anyway

**JESSICA**

He loves all movies

**KALYN**

exactly

anything theatrical

**JESSICA**

Karkat's the one who likes Rom Coms

:P

But, yes, I see your point

**KALYN**

yeah, well Dirk's supposed "plan" doesn't exactly follow the format of a RomCom does it?

it's more like a dramatic action film

which Jake loves

**JESSICA**

There will probably be skulls EVERYWHERE! and pistols

**KALYN**

fuck yes

**JESSICA**

It will be ironically garish

**KALYN**

raining skulls and pistols

and it will be narrated by

**JESSICA**

Morgan Freeman

**KALYN**

Nigel Thornberry

**JESSICA**

Who else?

What? No, Morgan Freeman

**KALYN**

I'm going to take your silence as you were laughing too hard to type

**JESSICA**

I think my silence was imagined in your head

**KALYN**

it was brief.

**JESSICA**

(and I might have laughed a little .)

**KALYN**

:P

**JESSICA**

Has there been any allusions to Nigel Thornberry?

**KALYN**

only in fandom

**JESSICA**

I mean, Jake's most likely seen the Thornberry movie

**KALYN**

hahahahahaha

hasn't he seen all the movies?

**JESSICA**

ALL THE MOVIES!

Yes, he's had all the time in the world, what else would he do?

Get eaten by monsters?

He certainly doesn't garden

**KALYN**

Well, he's come close...

haha

Does he have a cool instrument to play like all the Beta kids did?

He was making that bunny...

That was a project

**JESSICA**

I don't know if any of them have handled instruments!

Jake is pretty tech-savvy, I forgot about that for a while

He got the materials from Dirk, but still

Unless that was under Dirk's supervision as well

**KALYN**

He got some materials from Jade

the weapons

**KALYN**

like the Cuttlefish Culler (right?) she got from Eridan

which she initially threw out the window

**JESSICA**

Cuttlefish Culler was Fef's handle

But yeah, she gave him weapons

**KALYN**

oh lawl I'm retarded

it just rung a bell so I went with it XD

**JESSICA**

lol

that's ok

**KALYN**

yeah but he gave her a rifle or something like that

and she totally didn't want it

because she didn't want his cooties XP

**JESSICA**

Eridan's? Yeah, Eridan was creepy to everyone he could be

**JESSICA**

This has been bothering me for a while. If Jake gets Sol and Eq, and Dirk is most likely going to get Gamzee (and most likely Fef), and Nep and Eridan are together, they would go to Roxy. Roxy is already a sort of matchmaker like Nep is. Although, I don't know if Nep actually acted upon her shipping wall (other than trying to get with Kar). She was more of an observer...I might have just talked myself out of my conundrum

The problem I was having was that both Roxy and Nep are all about finding everyone else's perfect match. So how would they benefit from each other? That was the conundrum.

**JESSICA**

And then I thought: Roxy acts upon what she sees, while Nep just observes and paints all over walls.

So, either Roxy needs to learn restraint, or Nep needs to learn to stop hesitating so much

Could just be they end up balancing each other.

ya know, now that I think about it, all four kids had fairly obvious connections to three of the trolls. Jane to Fef because they are both heroes of life, Jake and Tav because of the fairybulls, Roxy and Sol because of their l33t haxxor skillz, then Dirk and Eq because of the robots and (ugly) wifebeaters. I guess this helps validate our theory that they are going to get trolls that aren't similar to them?

**JESSICA**

Wait!

Vriska and Fef are pretty much opposites, in that Vriska doesn't really care about others' lives, but Fef does (Fef thought "cull" meant "cuddling and loving" or something)

Then Tav and Eq are opposites since Tav is so weak and Eq is super strong.

**SWITCH OVER TO SKYPE HERE!**

**JESSICA**

K, I dunno if you are on, but Facebook has decided to refuse to connect to chat or send any messages. So, if you are saying anything, I am not wilfully ignoring you. I have two different browsers open and facebook refuses to work in either of them

**KALYN**

oh hey

**KALYN**

yeah I actually abandoned you for a while to skype with my cousin

**KALYN**

but I promise I intended to get back to them

**JESSICA**

That's cool, I don't mind at all

**KALYN**

feel free to continue your theories here :)

**JESSICA**

I'm going to type what I mean to say elsewhere and -oh

**JESSICA**

ok, cool

**JESSICA**

Last I said was Vriska and Fef being opposites in that they Vriska doesn't really care about other people's lives or well-being, while Fef is all about that.

**JESSICA**

Tav and Eq are opposites because of the obvious strongest vs. weakest characters. However! Eq's lusus is a musclebeast butler. He is subservient to Eq while Tav's lusus is his friend. Tav sees other creatures as friends, while Eq is all about creating robots only to destroy them.

**JESSICA**

I'm not sure who would be the opposite of Sol other than Sol himself though. He has the whole dual personality thing. It can't really be Gamzee, because he has the duality thing as well. He's either stoned and chill or super angry. So it is either Eridan or Nepeta, and I am leaning more towards Nepeta. She is down with who she is. (Edit: She's also pretty level-headed, right? She has the whole role-playing thing going on, but I think she's pretty level and chill) She also lives in a completely opposite environment from Sol. However, I don't think that has really been the case for the other four I've already mentioned.

**KALYN**

keep going, I'm gonna go to bed though 3

**KALYN**

promise to responde & copy/paste later

**JESSICA**

K, that's cool

**JESSICA**

Eq's opposite will be a little harder, since he already has Tav with Jake. We also figured that Sol would be paired with Eq. Really, what we're left with is Gamzee and Eridan

**JESSICA**

Eridan claims he doesn't like low bloods, but he will be with literally anyone who shows even the least bit of affection towards him. Anyone who is anything but indifferent. Eq is really hung up on the blood thing too (which is why Nepeta is his counterpoint, as we already know). So, they are almost like opposite sides of the same coin.

**JESSICA**

There's Gamzee who could be his other opposite. He doesn't give a rat's ass about someone's blood color, he also uses a lot of "lood" language, which Eq despises.

**JESSICA**

So, I suppose Eq's opposite would be Gamzee (had a little more trouble with that one, lol)

**JESSICA**

So, that sort of validates what we were guessing in the first place, only from a different angle.

**JESSICA**

So, to sum up. Jane has a connection to Fef, Jake has a connection to Tav, Roxy has a connection to Sol, and Dirk has a connection to Eq. Fef and Vriska are opposites. Tav and Eq are opposites. Sol and Nepeta are (tentatively) opposites and Gamzee is Eq's other opposite.

**JESSICA**

Yeaaah.

**(back to Facebook)**

**JESSICA**

YO! Don't you be copying and pasting this shit! I got it taken care of, bitch! I'll email it to you. The stuff earlier than this is a little difficult to get for me, because I can't accessit with Opera, and Internet Explorer freaks my computer out when I copy and paste stuff from facebook

**KALYN**

Jessica! I already got this shit!

I've updated it already, so if you want to help then just get the stuff that started last night

But I might do it in a little bit and beat you to it again!

Also, I came on here to tell you that your album review got a review. Reviewer wanted to know why you didn't review Vodka Mutiny.

Review review review

**JESSICA**

I meant the stuff from last night

lol, it was because i didn't get that far before running out of steam, lol

I don't know how far back it was you got, and I got a little further back as well. Mostly the stuff opera let me get. Like I said, Internet Explorer freaks Word out. It tries to keep the original theme or whatever which Word doesn't have. But yeah, so that's that

If that reviewer wants me to review the rest, I can, lol

K, Homestuck

Looks like Tavrispite is freaking out, and when sprites freak out they explode? Gamzee was blasted away by the tavrisplosion. I have a feeling he disappears and they have a hard time finding him again. Then he magically appears before the next person. Just saying

**JESSICA**

Ok, Tav and Vriska are together in that place where Hussie proposed to Vriska. I have a feeling this is some sort of "Hey, you two. Help each other and get along" sort of thing, like we had been talking about. It's kinda like what Aranea is doing with the living trolls, I think. Maybe. Probably. Most likely.

K, gotta go

**KALYN**

you should just get the stuff from Skype actually, I got a head start on the stuff from last night

**KALYN**

finally read all your stuff from last night, and about your opposites thing, I actually like the idea of Sol and Gam being opposites because they both have that duality. Something has to be similar to be opposites, right? But where Sollux's personality changes are more moody and kinda make him go from being cocky to thinking he's a fuck up, Gamzee goes from totally chill to motherfucking murderously insane. Sollux is a lot more moderate in comparison.

I gotta get ready for class now though

**JESSICA**

So, James reminded me of something. Bards destroy things passively. Gamzee is the Bard of Rage. He's going to destroy anger, but not directly. Thank you, that is another reasoning behind who is going to be paired with whom (as far as the trolls are concerned). Tavros and Vriska kinda hate each other (more Vriska than Tavros, but Tavros just doesn't want to acknowledge that he hates her, I think. He's just a little confused on that front.) He's basically doing what Aranea is (like we said before), but it /is/ because of class. So, yeah. Forgot about the whole Bard thing and how it works. There we go!

**KALYN**

alright, go team.


	41. Morgan actually says stuff

So I'm having Jessica send the conversations to me, and she does it in smaller increments, but the updates will probably be more frequent. Smaller, but more.

* * *

><p><strong>MORGAN<strong>

Okay, well I haven't been on in about two days, and looks like I'm paying for it now.

I have some things to address in your previous (and rather confusing/convoluted) conversation...

Firstly, on the trolls being prototyped as sprites for the kids... this doesn't necessarily need to happen... for all we know, the others will be smart enough to prototype, but probably not beforehand because does Skaia even exist in this session?

Secondly... Sollux?

Isn't he still alive?

When did he die?

I thought he was still alive, so how could Gamzee have his body?

unless he has two material bodies?

**MORGAN**

Except not with him... so... unless I am completely mistaken and forgot when Sollux actually died, then no, Sollux is not at all going to be anyone's sprite.

**JESSICA**

There's a dead version of Sollux, the one that sped the asteroid along. He was dead when they met up with Aradia, Sollux, Rose and Dave. There were three version of him, don't forget.

**MORGAN**

Was it dream Sollux?

*a dream Sollux, rather, since there's two?

**JESSICA**

Gamzee scampered off with Sollux's body at one point.

**MORGAN**

so ... there's a dead Sollux and an alive Sollux...

**JESSICA**

Yes

**MORGAN**

and the dead one somehow sped the asteroid along, and that's the one that Gamz ran off with...

**JESSICA**

He was alive, and then he died! Go back and read it, geez, it's there

**MORGAN**

augh, ok, I believe you, I just don't remember him dying after being alive after falling down the stairs.

Okay, I have some more thoughts...

When you guys were talking about trolls being with kids who had different qualities than themselves...

So Jake, because he's gullible, would have a skeptical troll

"Either someone who's a skeptic, or someone who's straightforward and informative" Eridan. total skeptic. also, eridan plus equips = hilarious.

(you can ignore the equius part)

(I was typing this in a doc as I was reading the conversation)

Also, random observation that I thought was cool:

AR = autoresponder… also AR the carapace… who was associated with Dave.

**JESSICA**

(I think we mentioned this before It would have been a long time ago though)

**MORGAN**

did we?

not when I was around

**JESSICA**

Yup, but it would have been when Autoresponder was first introduced

**MORGAN**

Here's another thing...

that I typed as I was reading this

"ya know, now that I think about it, all four kids had fairly obvious connections to three of the trolls. Jane to Fef because they are both heroes of life, Jake and Tav because of the fairybulls, Roxy and Sol because of their l33t haxxor skillz, then Dirk and Eq because of the robots and (ugly) wifebeaters." Woah, if you're going to relate Fef to Jane (LIFE), then you should go Nep to Dirk (HEART) and Jake to Eridan (HOPE) and Roxy to Eq (VOID). Besides, Fef isn't Jane's sprite anyway, if you're basing this all on your tangent about sprites, which I assume you are, because of "I guess this helps validate our theory that they are going to get trolls that aren't similar to them?"

**JESSICA**

Yes, she wasn't going to be either. Fef is also connected to Jane through the Condesce

**MORGAN**

Right

But how are we making the connection between this and sprites? Or are we at all?

Are we just separating this from sprites now?

**JESSICA**

Did you see the part where we said that the trolls would have something the kids didn't?

**MORGAN**

Yeah

So was this comment not at all to do with sprites?

**JESSICA**

Uh, no. Just about everything had to do with sprites

**MORGAN**

But wait, how can we do the whole relating Jane to Fef, and etc... or are you saying that these trolls you've related them to here are not going to be their sprites?

**JESSICA**

hmmm, just realized, you missed a big portion of that

I had to switch over to skype, i'll copy and paste that stuff here now

**MORGAN**

Oh, is this why I'm so confused?

**JESSICA**

probably, lol

**(sends previous skype message)**

**JESSICA**

another wall of text for you

**MORGAN**

hm... I would maybe... make Eridan somebody's opposite...

but he could be anybody's

Um...

Like, somebody already said Nep's opposite could be Eridan

but Nep doesn't have a kid that she's directly related to... OMYGOD lawl imaging Eridan being Dirks

sprite

J-jessica?

Well, I had one more thing to address from your convo earlier:

**JESSICA**

sorry

i was writing

**MORGAN**

"Bards destroy things passively. Gamzee is the Bard of Rage. He's going to destroy anger, but not directly." Not necessarily. Whatever they're the hero of (ie: Rage) doesn't need to be the object of their action. It could be used in correspondence with their title attributes. For example, Rose doesn't "See Light." She's a Seer, but she sees the future. Also, how do you steal light? Vriska is a Thief, but what does she steal? (But we can relate Light to the future in this case if we wanted to, and Vriska plays on the chance of something happening, thus potentially "stealing" an outcome that would be more desirable to her.) Furthermore, I don't think Roxy can do anything to the Void… She traverses through it, and uses it, but how can she affect it as a Rogue? Basically what I'm saying is I don't think Gamzee is going to destroy anger at all. He destroyed things USING anger, the way he went on a mass killing spree fueled by his anger at Dave for ruining the miracles.

**MORGAN**

wall of text there

**JESSICA**

Light seems to be more connected to knowledge than actual literal light

**MORGAN**

makes sense

but does Vriska steal knowledge?

I think she more uses it to steal, in a sense.

like with her magic cueball

**JESSICA**

Yeah

But it's still connected to her powers

**MORGAN**

of course, but it isn't the object of her powers is what i was getting at

**JESSICA**

Why else would Gamzee be doing this? He's almost always has some sort of agenda, whether we really understand it or not

**MORGAN**

eh?

**JESSICA**

The sprite thing.

**MORGAN**

but i don't think he's doing it to destroy anger... or are we changing topics now?

**JESSICA**

He's destroying anger by making them come to terms with each other.

He's not doing it actively though

Vriska is angry at Tavros, really angry. As seen in today's update. They are going to be stuck together. They either kill each other (and presumable themselves in the process) or they work things out.

Ok, I gotta go. Just keep talking though. I'll address everything later. Mwah!

**MORGAN**

i fucked up my potion, and i'm so mad now

hm.. interesting way to look at it... I'm going to go ahead and settle with both of us being correct

he destroyed with anger before, and he is potentially destroying anger now, in a weird sort of way

**…**

**KALYN**

btw I think Morgan's well thought out comments that she got to make while reviewing everything we said last night are quite valid and...well thought out.

**JESSICA**

IMPOSSIBRU!

**KALYN**

god

I just realized I haven't been on tumblr in days

this is gonna kill me

**EMILY**

truth man

**JESSICA**

lol, the superstuck stuff is fun

case you were wondering

**JESSICA**

Shocker of shocker, I'm in Ravenclaw! The most aggravating question of "Black or white" because I love them both together... I'm behind ya guys, but I'm catching up

**EMILY**

"HOW YOU ARE NOT ASHAMED TO WATCH THIS UNMORAL PERVERT VIDEO?

DO YOUR PARENTS KNOWES WHAT ARE YOU DOING AND HOW BAD YOUR MUSIC TASE IS? ! I DON'T THINK SO! IF THAY KNEW THEY WOULD KILL YOU!

WHAT WASTE OF TIME, INSTED OF WATCHING JUSTIN BIEBER AND LADY GAHA THAT ARE REAL MUSICIANS AND BEST THING FOR YOU!

JUSTIN BIEBER CAN'T BE COMPARED WITH THIS TALENTLES AMATEURS!

HE IS REAL MAN UNLIKE KPOP PUSSIES"

**EMILY**

god i just...appreciate this shitty troll

i go to this videos to fantasize about the masculinity and sexiness of top, and he thinks i'm gonna go HOLY SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO LOVE THAT "DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY" JUSTIN BEIBER!

**MORGAN**

hahahaha lawl

**…**

**JESSICA**

k, homestuck update, imma put some stuff here

SPOILERS!

**MORGAN**

read it

**JESSICA**

Tav is getting some backbone guys, it's refreshing (then clearly you don't need to worry )

**JESSICA**

I really liked this little part:

VRISKA: Overreacting my ass!

VRISKA: What a nightmare. It's still making my ghostly skin crawl just thinking a8out it.

TAVROS: nO, i THINK i'VE DECIDED, yOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE

**MORGAN**

it's a little meta, the whole thing... as hussie likes to make it

**JESSICA**

hey! i haven't finished

teehee

Hussie

Hmm, so, Tavros is gaining a backbone, but in a "I really don't want to do anything, because I'm still kinda worthless, but my brief stint joined with you has shown me what real self-confidence is" sorta way.

I think their banter is kinda cute though

**MORGAN**

yeah.. i think their gonna go through that whole self-bettering thing aranea is trying to do with all her troll pals.

**JESSICA**

yup, that's what I figured too. It helps that they had (most likely) two years to themselves to work things out.

**MORGAN**

yeah... but time is not even a thing when you're dead... so more like eternity in a single moment?

**JESSICA**

Hmmm, I was going to say they were most likely in the bubbles, but Vriska was on that desert planet before she and Tavros melded together. Either way, it's still been two years since they died, assuming that Gamzee met up with Jane only a little bit before the asteroid made it. So my point still stands

**JESSICA**

I meant to put in there somehting about "even if they experienced eternity in a single moment" clearly forgot it

replace "either way" with that, lol

**MORGAN**

I would think it's three years at this point, if they were supposed to be the same age when they met up with the Alpha kids

(kalyn now, sorry)

**JESSICA**

I thought the trip was supposed to take 2 years

**MORGAN**

Unless you're saying that Gamzee got there ahead of everyone else, which seems like it's not possible to me, but you know

Could be shenanigans

nope three

the alpha kids are now 16

they were all supposed to be the same age

when they met up

**JESSICA**

I don't think it's impossible that Gamzee got there ahead, implausible, but not impossible. lol, it would be funny if he could teleport and that's why he's suddenly places without realizing what he's doing (you know, shenanigans)

**MORGAN**

he's...inadvertently teleporting?

**JESSICA**

Just throwing it out there

k, i'm about to faint from hunger, I"ll be back

**MORGAN**

ok

**EMILY**

it kinda sounded like they forgot who gamzee was

based on this "And if that weren't enough of a nuisance, we've apparently got to deal with getting yanked out of the afterlife without a moment's notice 8y some 8ozo in a codpiece to particip8 in his grotesque 8ody fusion pranks."

**JESSICA**

It's either that, or Vriska was just not saying his name. I'll describe people like that, particularly if I'm mad, but no exactly who they are.

**EMILY**

hmmmm

tavros didn't say anything...

**JESSICA**

Just sayin'. It's also not impossible that they did forget them. I thought John had forgotten Vriska, remember? But someone said that Jade might not have known her, so he was just being abstract (which is another plausible reason)

Do you honestly think Tavros would say something? He's getting better, but Vriska was kinda going on a tangent.

**EMILY**

meh dunno

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I see what you mean though.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, this is all Jake does

"GT: Im always doing adventures remember?

TT: That is such bullshit, you sit in your little jungle globe watching movies all day.

GT: Well yes. But ok i have a LOT of movies to bone up on. There are so many good ones i still havent seen."

The kid has to have either wicked metabolism, or he fogets to eat a lot.

**JESSICA**

HOMESTUCK UPDATE! SPOILERS UP THERE^ AND PROBABLY BELOW THIS.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW AT THE NEXT SPOILER, DON'T WORRY

Hmmmmmmmm

**JESSICA**

GT: Say heres one im pretty excited about. Have you heard about this avatar jam? Its coming out next year.

TT: You mean the blue furry shit?

GT: No man it is not blue furry shit far from it. Get this. It is about this paralyzed fellow who is down on his luck and longs for adventure. And he finds it!

GT: But it is far away on an enchanted planet rich with coveted treasures. And adventure is not all that he finds oh no. He also finds romance.

GT: A beautiful blue woman from the wild teaches him the ways of her savage culture and also the ways of alien love. Together they frolic in the forest whilst sharing primal intimacy through magic sexual escapades.

**JESSICA**

Hmmmm

Makes you think of Tav and Vriska, doesn't it?

Dirk isn't being subtle about the whole "I'm from the future" thing, is he?

**KALYN**

not really lol

he's being all cryptic about it, sure, but he's still dropping hints

**KALYN**

also, from what I've read so far, I like this: TT: One thing at a time, bro. I haven't quite figured out a way to get myself there yet.

GT: It almost sounds like this is something youve given some thought...

**JESSICA**

Lol, I guess from our perspective it isn't subtle

**KALYN**

yeah, well I'm sure if he said he'd seen Avatar and everything, we probably would've figured it out

**KALYN**

GT: Yeah but come on its not like youre from a century in the future.

TT: Well. No.

Nope, plural.

**JESSICA**

lol

**JESSICA**

I think Jake put it quite elequantly: "Well shit."

How are Roxy and Dirk the only humans left?

**KALYN**

oh shit

yeah I'm not that far yet

**KALYN**

but this:TT: Well, I wasn't sure about doing this today, but if it's true that you do believe in me, then I guess fuck it, why not.

GT: Why not what?

TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me.

GT: Whoa uh...

GT: Dirk are you... uh...

GT: Saying what i think?

TT: What?

TT: What do you think I'm saying here?

GT: Uh never mind sorry for interrupting.

GT: Should i sit down for this i dont know what to do.

GT: Wait i already am sitting down. Maybe i should stand up?

TT: No, just chill out. Stand up, sit down, whatever. Here's the thing.

TT: You know all these painfully obvious hints I've been dropping? That always seem to be flying over your head?

GT: Ummmmmmmm.

GT: Maybe?

GT: I think i need a towel or something.

TT: About me being from the future.

GT: Oh!

GT: Oh. Yes.

GT: I think so.

**JESSICA**

i KNOW!

**KALYN**

Sounds quite like Jake has been thinking about this for a long time as well

**JESSICA**

Yeah

**KALYN**

and he needs a towel.

We all know what it means when someone needs a towel.

(thank you Equius.)

XD

**JESSICA**

I was a little aggravated, lol, but they are 13, that would be a hard revelation (fucking Equius)

**KALYN**

what? explain this statement

**JESSICA**

The whole "guess what, I'm gay" thing. They are pretty much only then beginning to understand hormones and sex stuff and all that fun stuff

They're probably already a little confused and overwhelmed, no reason to add that on top of everything.

**KALYN**

did he confess that too though?

I still haven't finished it ._.

derp

**JESSICA**

no, not then

no, not then

**KALYN**

uhh

wait, so why are you aggravated then

if he didn't confess it at 13...

**JESSICA**

I know, it's obvious

but still

I'm a romantic, sorry, geez!

**KALYN**

Lol

OH

there's gonna be some sadstuck soon

man I love Jake's reaction though

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

Definitely seems like he's had it bad for Dirk for a while too

also with the SUperstuck thing last night? MY EMOOOOOTIONS!

**JESSICA**

lol, i know!

**KALYN**

I'm actually really glad they made that canon too

**JESSICA**

Same, I hope to see what they do with it too

**KALYN**

I can't wait to see where it goes

**JESSICA**

definitely

lol, i keep wondering if i should put in an application for eridan's character

no idea where i would take him, but still

**KALYN**

I think someone just did, actually

**JESSICA**

hmmmmm

**KALYN**

because they were anon-rping as him

and they were doing so well that the person being sollux asked them to apply

**JESSICA**

true

hmmmm, who else?

(although, realistically, would i be able to keep up with it, lol)

didn't they have an aradia at one point?

Gah! Speaking of Superstuck (again) they need to pick up on Johns' and Daves' story!

i forget how many people they actually have!

**KALYN**

well

I'm not following everyone (because I only follow the interesting ones), but uhhh

hm

good question, I don't know who's available

**JESSICA**

yeah, i follow all of them, but only the interesting ones actually update consistently

**KALYN**

well some of them who had updated consistently really pissed me off

I can't bring myself to read Itchy's shit

so I unfollowed

same for Karkat I think...

**JESSICA**

and they don't update consistently anymore

but yeah, Karkat is annoying

**KALYN**

yeah

**JESSICA**

Although, apparently they told her that she needed to fix him

or she was out

**KALYN**

wasn't that a while ago though? when one of the Jades left?

**JESSICA**

maybe

Gamma Gunner hasn't updated in 3 months

**KALYN**

welp

another boring one

**JESSICA**

lol

Kanaya, and PM haven't updated since then either

**KALYN**

hm

PM has barely done anything

Kanaya not much more

**JESSICA**

yeah

**KALYN**

ok Morgan and I are going to this henna thing, so I guess I'll talk to you later

**JESSICA**

k, bye!

have fun

take pictures!

(if you ge anything, that is)

*get

**KALYN**

:?

**KALYN**

well it's free

so I will

but I'll just show you when I get back

or Stephanie will take pictures and post them

maybe

dunno

**JESSICA**

regardless, have fun

**KALYN**

oh god Superstuck

stop with my emotions

**JESSICA**

I KNOW!

**KALYN**

OH MY GOD AGAIN?

WHY DOES SUPERSTUCK HATE MY EMOTIONS!

DX

I'm going bad to good ole happy fluffy homestuck, where my Dirk/Jake is even more canon than in Superstuck all of a sudden!

**KALYN**

I'm rereading all conversations that discuss Dirk/Jake, and the one between Jane and Jake is so friggen funny with Jane's responses.

**JESSICA**

spoilers

k, so, has the condescedence alawys been there? like, in both variations of this world? i thought nana hinted that she wasnt human. so what was her angle before? the same, but was derailed by the whole apocalypse thing? she clearly didnt have as heavy a hand before.

**JESSICA**

So they are the same as their ancestors.

TT: But she still needed an ongoing population of subjects to abuse, so to propagate the race she set up this weird system.

TT: At random intervals every citizen would be required to supply their genetic material to drones. That DNA would be collected and combined in some way.

TT: Many years later, long after the original donors had died, clones would be spawned from their DNA. So no one would ever be able to know who their "parents" were, or be able to trace their lineage.

**JESSICA**

so trolls' bucket system is actually obsolete? or is this just a translation of how the mother grub works?

yeah, its just a translation. i kinda feel sorry for the condesce now

she goes about it all wrong, and she's super rigid, but alternia is dead. she and anyone on her ship who survived that long are dead

plus, they're probably dead too. fuchsia bloods lie hellishly long, i believe

And Cal's creepy as fuck. I'm just sayin

g

**KALYN**

I think maybe she would've done the same in the betaverse, but they started playing at 13, and that's when she decided to reveal herself in alphaverse, so if the timing would have been the same, then she might have revealed herself in betaverse had they not ended up playing the game then

**KALYN**

also, there's no reckoning to destroy this earth, so yeah, the apocalypse thing

she just had a lot more time with this incarnation of the universe

and omg SADSTUCK why are both Homestuck AND Superstuck killing my emotions!

I'm so super sad about this guise

**JESSICA**

speaking of superstuck, WV answered my question

AND DAMNIT! MORE SADSTUCK!

**JESSICA**

yay! I'm a nice anon ^^

**...**

**KALYN**

I now have gauze taped around my feet and am walking like a duck

wonderful times we're having here

**EMILY**

i'm procrastinating watching comedy

**KALYN**

life is such an adventure

oh?

**EMILY**

yup

jealous

i wanna adventure

**KALYN**

not really, because I now have duck feet

so suck my duck

**EMILY**

hahahah

a

**KALYN**

I hiked like 8 blocks to Berklee, another 2 to get a signature for a prerequisite waiver to take a course, and then that 2 blocks back and the 8 blocks back to Emerson

all within like a couple of hours and in heels

no

like

yeah ok about a couple hours

little less

but it was quite productive

**EMILY**

why would you wear heels?

**KALYN**

wish it wasn't so gross out though

I was just wearing my boots, it was wet outside, I thought it would've been colder than it was based on how my dorm felt, but turns out it was just muggy and gross

**EMILY**

ah

**KALYN**

I could've worn the flats, but I thought I would wear enough to not let me freeze during the walk

**EMILY**

can't wait to wear a dress tomorrow

**KALYN**

turns out I was sweating and ended up taking off my coat and sweatshirt and carrying those and an umbrella the whole way

yay?

**EMILY**

yeah!

supposed to be super hot tomorrow and wednesday

**KALYN**

oh fun

**EMILY**

yeah!

**KALYN**

I think the sun's supposed to come out sometime this week too

*wishful thinking*

**EMILY**

hahaha

stupid boston!

**KALYN**

it's been rainy and gross the past two days, and I need some sunlight to get me out of this limbo feeling

I hate the limbo feeling

**EMILY**

ew!

**KALYN**

I have it less today because I was productive, but it's still weird considering I spent the first part of my day suffering in this unfamiliar area, but also happy because I got shit done

**EMILY**

yay!

**KALYN**

so yeah

mixed feelings on today

**EMILY**

i wish this shit was done

**KALYN**

but at least they're feelings

yesterday I didn't know what to feel about anything, so I guess this is a step up

fuckin

limbo

doesn't help that the medical bills are piling

**EMILY**

ewer

**KALYN**

just got another one sprung on me that's more than all the others combined, and that's without the insurance coverage

so

fuck my life

**EMILY**

why?

**KALYN**

why what?

**EMILY**

why more bills?

**KALYN**

I don't know!

They don't put all the charges on one!

**EMILY**

duuuumb

dumb

**KALYN**

So I have the examiner's bill, and then the ambulance bill, some other one from Tufts that seemed to cover some various materials (I don't know what the fuck they even were though) and this last one was for the actual emergency room. Like the fuckin room I was in for 3 hours, and the IV shit they gave me.

**EMILY**

i close my eyes and unfortunately all i see are dicks

**KALYN**

and I guess their time, I dunno

**EMILY**

i need something else

**KALYN**

lol

...vaginas?

**EMILY**

no

**KALYN**

._.'

**EMILY**

please no

**KALYN**

lol

what are you getting at haha

food

bunnies

uhh

**EMILY**

hmmm

**KALYN**

BABY GOATS

**EMILY**

i would say sexy guy but that wouldn't be good

**KALYN**

**(gif of adorable baby goat jumping on a bed)**

**EMILY**

that's pretty fuckin cute

**KALYN**

right?

**EMILY**

haha

but i'm hungry now...

and it really smells down here

**KALYN**

k

**EMILY**

sorry!

**…**

**EMILY**

congratulate me guys, i've finally caught up on homestuck

**KALYN**

how long have you not been?

**EMILY**

uhhhh

past 2 updates?

**JESSICA**

Teehee

Homestuck

Spoiler coming your way

teehee

**EMILY**

...yes

doesn't matter i've caught up

**JESSICA**

oh, well, for the others then?

**EMILY**

h'ok

**JESSICA**

either way, i thought this was funny, especially given Jane's romantic endeavors

TT: Famous comedian, about the age of your grandma, inheriting the family name of the Baroness...

TT: Not ringing a bell?

GT: What are you talking about! Dirk stop speaking in riddles and keep telling the story i am on tenterhooks here!

TT: Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot.

GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro!

TT: Nah, it'll be funnier this way.

GT: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!

**EMILY**

you wondering who?

i was wondering that

**JESSICA**

Who what now?

**EMILY**

uhhh ok

**JESSICA**

What were you wondering? I am curious

**EMILY**

what were you wondering?

or...reason for bringing that up?

**JESSICA**

earlier Kalyn and I were talking about what Jake's romantic life would be like

**EMILY**

oh

ok

**JESSICA**

That Jane would get her chance and that they may live happily ever after

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

I showed doubts, and here is a little more proof on my part, lol

**EMILY**

ah

ok

**JESSICA**

ok, now, what was it you were wondering? Who Dirk was referring to

?

**EMILY**

i was wondering who the fuck he was talking about

**JESSICA**

The comedian?

**EMILY**

yeah

**JESSICA**

Poppop

**EMILY**

oooooooooh

i was thinking it was a legit comedian for some reason

**KALYN**

nope, just John lol

and that made me laugh

it gives me hope that maybe Jake/Dirk will last

**EMILY**

what?

oh

**JESSICA**

I wonder what SN stands for

Skaia Net?

**KALYN**

ooh good question, could be

wait

**JESSICA**

Pretty sure that's from the Terminator series...

**KALYN**

did these initials turn up before, and didn't we wonder what they could be? and didn't you suggest Skaia Net?

was it when Rose was hooking up her laptop to the hub, and it had the initials SN?

**JESSICA**

oooh, maybe, but would we have known Skaia by then? I can't remember

I'm sure I probably brought Skaia Net before because of its link to Terminator

**KALYN**

lawl yes, since we didn't start this whole conversation until way after we knew about skaia

and yes

**JESSICA**

oh

derp

**KALYN**

actually you had to remember that it was from Terminator rather than Homestuck lol

**JESSICA**

So, yeah, maybe!

Ok, so, another thing I was thinking about, I know the Condesce was there in our kids' world, but she didn't have nearly the heavy hand as she does now

**KALYN**

nope, but then again the reckoning happened which kinda destroyed the world before she could reveal herself

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I was about to look if Dirk said when she really played her hand. Didn't think about that first

Cuz if it was after the Reckonning, then yeah, it would make sense

but first, brb

**KALYN**

she played her hand in 200...9? when Jake was 13. remember that the alpha kids don't start playing until they're 16, whereas the beta kids play when they're 13, as the world is ending.

so if she was planning on doing it all in the same span of time, then she pretty much was foiled by the reckoning.

also you should start sending me this conversation, like copy/paste it into a email or something.

**JESSICA**

I know she was going to play her hand at the same time, but I couldn't remember if it was after 4/13/09

4/11/09 x.x

**KALYN**

ah, is that when she did it in the alphaverse?

**JESSICA**

I don't know, that's why I brougth it up. The kids' reckoning was 4/11/09

**KALYN**

what? the beta kids?

no...

4/13

**JESSICA**

fuck, so i was right to begin with

**KALYN**

4/13 is John's birthday, 413 is the magical numeral of the prophets or whatever

etc etc

**JESSICA**

(i upped the dosage in my medicine, which i think addles my brain for a little bit. Sorry if I make even less sense x.x)

**KALYN**

haha ok

**JESSICA**

ok, so, the Condesce made her presence known in 2011, the same day Jane went into the Game. But she still had all the tech. Some of it was new, but Jane still had stuff that was a little older, right? Maybe it was Jade's influence. Jake in the beta universe adventured and helped the kids in Sburb. But he probably also messed with technology, because didn't he make Jade's robo-dreamer? But there wasn't the full-on battle

**JESSICA**

Although, if Jake was anything like he is now, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't do anything

**KALYN**

you should clarify some of those statements more...

the stuff about Jane/Jake and their influence?

**JESSICA**

K, Jade had the competing technology company, right?

So, I was thinking that she was spurring the Condesce on

But Jake was travelling through time and jumping all over the place (he was in Sburb helping every body out) (goddamnit, brain is refusing to work )

I think what I was getting at is Jake probably wouldn't have done the same things Jade did. He might not have had the technology company that spurred the Condesce to create more advanced Tech faster

lol, I was about to say something really stupid: "Cuz technology isn't going to advance that fast in a little over two years, right?"

**KALYN**

hahahahahahahahahaha

how naïve lawl

**JESSICA**

eh, you know

k, i have homework i need to get done. I'll come back when I'm finished, but that might be a while

**KALYN**

ok I'm gonna study

**EMILY**

holy shit

i didn't say bye cause i thought you guys wouldn't be talking

**…**

**EMILY**

my finger fucking BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS

**JESSICA**

:?

**EMILY**

i burnt it

**JESSICA**

How?

**EMILY**

i epically failed at making pancakes

**JESSICA**

lol

LOL AT YOUR PAIN!

**EMILY**

the left side of my face is really soft...

**JESSICA**

pancakes are not easy to make, particularly on your first go

you have to be patient

**EMILY**

meh i've made pancakes before

**JESSICA**

oh yeah? I barely have the patience to make a competent omelette, I doubt I would for pancakes

**EMILY**

hahaha

**JESSICA**

at least when you mess up an omelette you can go "It's a scramble!"

**…**

**JESSICA**

Homestuck update, btw. Spoilers ahoy!

**EMILY**

kinda wish we had that movie renting experience...

**JESSICA**

K, so, one of the pictures to accompany the text is very interesting. It's who i presume to be Jake (even though he lacks his iconic second pistol) and he has shackles with UU's and uu's symbols. They are also bright green and bright red in color. I would like to say that they are in opposition of each other, because of the cliched separation of their colors. What I can say is that Jake is shackled by them both, by the legs. So, whatever moves he makes are dictated by them? Or are within the confines they give him?

I suddenly wonder if they have any ties to Lord English. There is little justification for this, just something I wondered. SO DON'T QUESTION IT TOO MUCH!

No matter what, they have some sort of important connection to Jake.

**EMILY**

i'm intrigued by that picture

**JESSICA**

lolololol, Dave, you rapscallion

I wonder if 2.890.1 is an important number. Have we seen it before?

**EMILY**

hmmmm

meh dunno

**JESSICA**

Lol

k, i'm off to bed!

**EMILY**

k


	42. The Importance of Calmasis

Smaller updates start now!

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

woah Jessica, glaring flaw right off the bat

it's not Jake, it's Rose's made up character

the one that people presumed was like UU, and then Hussie cosplayed as UU and that character

now they're showing that character in the shackles

I'm thinking it's like maybe the same character has these two personas, it's possible

not totally sure though, since I haven't read it fully yet, but that was the first impression I got from this picture

hell, what was the character's name...

Calmasis

Calmasis is in the shackles

you can tell because right before that fucking page is when Jake and Dirk are talking about Rose's book series

I can't think of anything that 2.890.1 could represent numerically.

it doesn't make sense as a date or anything

wonder if it's some conversion or someshit, some code we have to crack, or if it's just totally random.

with homestuck you never know, but given the symbolic context of this particular pesterlog, I'm inclined to believe the former.

I kind of love Dirk's and Jake's friendship compared to Dave's and John's

we've talked before about how Dave and John like to rip on each other a lot, even if they praise each other when they're not talking to each other

but Dirk and Jake are like... they tease each other, sure, like Dirk totally tells Jake straight up what movies are shit

**KALYN**

but there's still things like:

"GT: I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes.

TT: Sometimes.

TT: Other times you're on point, like a bag of the nickel shit."

**KALYN**

I dunno, it's just sweet to me

probably because Dirk's had to grow up much faster than Dave. And same with Jake and John actually, even if Jake still seems rather immature. But they still had those traumatizing experiences and are totally alone where they are, so I think they appreciate their friends more. And make an effort to show that in small ways.

**KALYN**

yay psychology?

I love dissecting characters, you have no idea

I also love Dirk/Jake, but hey. I play into the fanservice, and Huss definitely understands supply/demand.

Hm, Emily?

What is this something sweet you can do?

**JESSICA**

lol, right, yeah. that character thing. I saw green and a pistol and thought "JAKE! It must be Jake since, you know, it's dark green, which is Jake's color. Yeeeeeeah"

I agree with Dirk and Jake's relationship, and I particularly loved that candy bit.

**…**

**MORGAN**

First of all, I think Kalyn said this already, but my impression with that Calmasis character picture thing was like... are UU and uu the same person? Or is Calmasis completely separate from them, and like... actually have some sort of control over this character? Or is Calmasis completely metaphorical (because, after all, Rose's book was an allegory)

**MORGAN**

Also, in this picture, Cal ... just realized that nickname... and how it relates to Lil Cal, hopy shit, you guys, does this mean something?

**JESSICA**

D: Didn't even think that! (but then, I always forget that character even has a name .)

**MORGAN**

anyway, I was gonna say how he has gray skin, but like legit, and not like Hussie scribbles. Which is where I got this idea that that is UU/uu, and they're the same character

**JESSICA**

Yeah. Didn't we also say somewhere that UU and uu might be the same person?

**MORGAN**

also, I found the possibility of a connection to LE interesting...

maybe? probably

I just feel like this could potentially affirm it a bit more

**JESSICA**

yeah

**EMILY**

just took the most amazing shower

**MORGAN**

yesterday, i got up at 6:30 and showered, and then slept for another two hours before my class

it was the best. after shower naps are the best.

**EMILY**

hahaha

btdubs i totally had the UU and uu are the same person theory

and they went gamzee crazy

**MORGAN**

yeah... I'm thinking if we all came to that possibility independently, then maybe there's some merit to it

**JESSICA**

Ahaha, have any of you seen Dante's tumblr posts? particularly the ones containing Tavros?

Hey! Tailorbird used one of my asks as well "What are you going to do now? " A deep question, yes?

I don't know why I keep getting excited when they answer my questions, it's not like they have a ton. although it did take TheTailorbird a while to answer that one

**EMILY**

i thought of another thing we have to do

eat at council bluffs german resteraunt

**MORGAN**

oh hey about that whole UU/uu could be the same person and that person is Calmasis thing: One of the defining traits of Calmasis' character is that he/she is androgynous and it's never explicitly stated whether he/she is a boy or a girl. So, yeah, could be that dual persona thing.

**MORGAN**

(kalyn now btw)

**EMILY**

k

**MORGAN**

I'm gonna go back to when that "character" was introduced and see what's written about him/her

**MORGAN**

"It features the androgynous young apprentice, Calmasis, who throughout the series plays the roles of antihero and chief antagonist. S/he convinces fellow disciples to rebel against Zazzerpan's vaunted Complacency, and one by one hunts down each wizard. All twelve are killed but the Predicant Scholar himself, forcing a showdown."

So if this was an allegory for the Condesce, then it seems like Calmasis could be the Condesce here, who hunted down all the other trolls and killed them (ancestors-isn't this what Doc Scratch said the Condesce did in a way?)

If not, then perhaps Calmasis is totally UU/uu, who decide to hunt down...the players maybe? Since most of the trolls are already dead. But that "Predicant Scholar" is, my guess, Karkat, since Predicant means it has to do with Jesusy stuff.

OR alternatively, Calmasis is UU, the twelve killed are the rest of the trolls, and the Predicant Scholar is uu, and THEY have a faceoff!

There are many different ways this could go. I'mma see if the next paragraph has more insight.

**MORGAN**

"The poster depicts the notorious chess match between Calmasis and Zazzerpan. Zazzerpan had a reputation for being unbeatable. He had never lost a match, even to the gods. But his apprentice was able to beat him in the wizard's duel by first becoming checkmated, and through some unprecedented enchantment, continuing to play beyond the death of the king." This actually sounds more like the Skaia thing. The kings are dead (at least from Beta). Who could Zazzerpan be though? Lord English? Does this make Calmasis the Condesce? If we figure out who Zazzerpan is supposed to be, then I think it'll be clearer who Calmasis is supposed to represent.

**MORGAN**

Anyone have any insight?

While I switch to my own account?

**KALYN**

...no?

**EMILY**

READING

hmmm

so...what are the current theories?

**JESSICA**

Ok, so, Calmasis is /both/ the antihero and antagonist. uu=antihero, UU=antagonist

My initial thought was that Zazzerpan would be LE since he's the end all main baddy. Maybe the apprentice is the Condesce?

Fuck man, this is some deep shit!

Looking at it from the view point of Skaia and that game, could the apprentice still be the condesce? She usurped Derse, so maybe she appeared to have been in checkmate but then via shenanigans was able to beat Lord English, at least for a time. Condesce did work for him, and they are on bad terms now. So, I think Zazzerpan is most likely LE, Calmasis is uu and UU.

**JESSICA**

In Alpha the Derse King and Queen are dead, don't forget. So, yeah, that's my theory for now.

**KALYN**

Ok, I'll accept it for now. I just wanted some input

see where we're going with this

I'm sure it's prophetic though, there's no way it's not, and it'll probably be glaringly obvious later if anyone rereads that page

**JESSICA**

FAKE OUT! Here's some more stuff!

Now, if "predicant" was just "Jesusy" I would say that it is more likely Nepeta, since she was the scholar. However, "predicant" means a preacher, so, definitely Kar or his ancestor.

It is also possible that the Predican Scholar and Calmasis are the same person, right? As in split personality disorder. UU would be the one hunting down the other trolls (the little bit of what we presume to be her was wearing basically Calmasis' clothing, right? Also, what horns did Hussie wear when he was cosplaying? Were they the super wavy ones?) The shackles also suggest that there is more than one force influencing Calmasis with UU's and uu's shackles attached to his/her ankles.

**KALYN**

lol

oo that's interesting

**JESSICA**

i gotta go now though, so any issues or whatever you have, i will get to later (and that's always promising )

**KALYN**

yeah I did speculate that the two facing off could be UU/uu, but I didn't really bring in the idea that they're both Calmasis into that

so that would be really interesting

aight later then

I'm good for now

**KALYN**

btw, for pages and comparison, this is the page with Calmasis and the description: /?s=6&p=006375

Here's Hussie as Calmasis/UU: /?s=6&p=006693

And another with the gun, for good measure: /?s=6&p=006701

and here's the picture from today's update for comparison: /?s=6&p=006761MS Paint Adventures

**JESSICA**

Oh yeah, all of the clues point to Calmasis being at least UU. The false cadeuces, the horns on Hussie's cosplay (which are the same horns that UU had when she was chatting at the beginning of this Act), the color of the clothes, and the two shackles (which points to uu being in on it too. And by "in on it too" I mean "also being Calmasis )

**JESSICA**

The fake cadeuces and her lying also make me think that UU would be the antagonistic version. She doesn't strike me as antihero material.

(for reference, Batman is an antihero)

**EMILY**

what about bman?

**EMILY**

my tooth hurtz

**JESSICA**

Bman is also an antihero. Actually, he is more of an antihero than the normal batman

**EMILY**

yay!

can't wait until i get this fucking root canal so my tooth can stop hurting

**…**

**EMILY**

NEW homestuck

quite hilarious

"Who the fuck ever heard of an alien juggalo? To me this is about as stupid as the crackpot theories get."

**JESSICA**

wah! Gonna read nao

i wonder what Hussie thinks of Guy Fieri

**EMILY**

haha

i thought that part was funny

but the next one is funnier

**…**

**JESSICA**

I LOVE the George Washington bit, lol

**…**

**KALYN**

man

**EMILY**

yeah

i appreciated that though

**KALYN**

it's one thing to make out with Dante Basco's corpse, but to make Guy Fieri out to be the third anti christ, that could be crossing some lines there Hussie.

**EMILY**

the fail that is

ah

hahaha

next one is better

**JESSICA**

Yeah...I like Guy Fieri...He's a cool dude...

**KALYN**

I mean... what if Guy Fieri suddenly decides to pick up Homestuck? What's gonna happen then?

**EMILY**

can one of you do me a favor and text my phone saying "where's my droid?"

**JESSICA**

done

**EMILY**

tanks

**JESSICA**

And, yeah, Kalyn, you're right. I don't think this will blow over quite the same way.

**EMILY**

it would be under my shit

good thing i have this stupid app

**JESSICA**

Especially if people send him or his people that picture of him like they did with Dante

**…**

**EMILY**

sorry i had to leave there

macy shoved her tongue in my mouth

had to go brush my teeth

and...cry

**JESSICA**

o.O

**EMILY**

yea...

**JESSICA**

:(

**EMILY**

yea...

mouth rape...

**JESSICA**

bluh

**EMILY**

and unfortunately my rape whistle is on my dresser...

**JESSICA**

...

**EMILY**

(i really do have one)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW HAVE I NEVER TOLD YOU GUYS THIS

so

in my theatre class we had to perform scenes written by people in the class, i was the director for one

and in it pretty much guy friend, chick friend, guy friends comes on to chick friend, chick shoots him down

**JESSICA**

no, i'm pretty sure i knew you had one, it just seems like an entirely inappropriate reason to use it

uuuuuuuuuuh

**EMILY**

so, we preformed the whole scene, then prof makes it forum, where you start the scene and people can shout stop and fill in for a character and try to change the scene

couple people go, then professor says he's gonna fill in

as the chick

already freaking hilarious, he's a almost 70 yr old guy

does the thing, dude has to put his arm around him and pretend to try and kiss him

**JESSICA**

bahahahahahahaha

**KALYN**

lemme guess: no one stopped the scene?

**EMILY**

tons of funny shit is said including by the prof "look, i know i'm an attractive young woman, but this isn't going to work out"

fuckin hilarious

**EMILY**

i was almost crying i was laughing so hard

**JESSICA**

lol

**EMILY**

so funny

**JESSICA**

they were adding to it, if you remember

**EMILY**

just...just great

**KALYN**

?

**JESSICA**

beautiful!

**KALYN**

that's wonderful

**EMILY**

yes

sorry

back to what ya'll were doing

**…**

**KALYN**

ok I'm really tired, I have a lot to do tomorrow, I'm going to bed

love ya'll

**EMILY**

k

i still appreciate sweet tooth just...so much

**JESSICA**

sleep well, hope you figure things out

love you!

**EMILY**

LURG

SHIT

FUCK

**JESSICA**

that's quite the reaction

**EMILY**

yes

**JESSICA**

what were you reacting to?

**EMILY**

the lurg and missing her

**JESSICA**

oh, k...i think

**EMILY**

yeah

**...**

**KALYN**

ok so Homestuck oh my god Dave is such a bamf

and... that's all there really is to say on the matter

**KALYN**

"TT: The few witnesses would report seeing only a man with a sword on a shitty skateboard, gently rising into the night sky.

TT: No one ever saw him again."

Wait, so he just disappeared? Where's the proof that the Condesce killed him then? I mean, surely he's not alive at this point, but I wonder...

**KALYN**

like Jane at least was in the game before this point for sure, so it kinda makes me wonder if Dave could have made it into the medium somehow.

Damn I am fucking loving these updates though

so

epic

**JESSICA**

He could have gotten in somehow, but he would either have to enter with Jake or the same way Jake did in the beta universe (which, who the hell knows how he did that?) or, now that I think about it, he could have gotten in the same way the Condesce did. Unless LE has some way to transport people in. Either way, Dave has two choices: Enter with Jake or enter the way Jake did in the Beta universe.


	43. Romantic Things Were Discussed

I really wish this site didn't cut out things like symbols, links, multiple punctuation and really long strings of letters.

So now Jessica does the first massive step of editing, so you can see a bit of her in that. Rather than totally cut out an irrelevant conversation (or just leave it in if it's mildly amusing and risk audience annoyance for the length), she seems to prefer paraphrasing. I find it amusing. :P

There isn't a whole lot to talk about here though. I discovered something called "CircusStuck" which was a project that didn't really take off, and we speculated on whether or not Jake was dead the last few updates, which wasn't a question we had to dwell on for long anyway. Among other discussions of course, but there isn't really a whole lot of depth to this one. Welp. We can't research horoscopes and Greek mythology every day.

* * *

><p><strong>KALYN<strong>

.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=0qlfeXnIxn4

This is dramatic[Homestuck] The Sufferer's Final Sermon

**EMILY**

yes

quite

indubitably

**JESSICA**

hmmmmm, I...kinda feel like all the "fucks" he gave took away from it

but it was great, I liked it

**KALYN**

is that sermon given somewhere in Homestuck though? Because I'm seeing a lot of videos abou tit

**JESSICA**

and the problem with these things is that they suddenly become headcanon for me XD

**KALYN**

about it*

lol

**KALYN**

no, try watching one of the other videos about it and see if it says the exact same thing

I think this sermon is canon, because it sounded really familiar

**JESSICA**

hmmm

might be a good time to go on the hunt... but after I catch of on LoK!

(or, I could not be stupid, and say Avatar)

**MORGAN**

ok, you know what, i haven't read any of this yet... but i'm making a comment.

I wonder if Karkat's ancestor was a Seer when he was in the session.

because he had memories, he knew things

which is why he went around preaching

and rose is a Seer, and in the alphaverse, she had visions and was able to write about things because of them

furthermore, if this is the case, I think LE may have tried to take over AlphaAlternia maybe? I mean, isn't that the bargain for scratching a session, or was that unique to the kids'?

**JESSICA**

Doc Scratch had a strong presence in AlphaAlternia

And Doc Scratch=LE in the rough

It would also make sense if The Sufferer was a Seer

I've always wondered what each of them were

**JESSICA**

Avatar! Legend of Korra! When you get the chance! Watch it! STAT!

**MORGAN**

nah

**JESSICA**

D:

**MORGAN**

you're being contradictory

"when you get the chance! STAT!"

**JESSICA**

(i know )

**MORGAN**

gotta go

get ice cream

and then

have a smoothie party with the guys downstairs at Pcafe

**JESSICA**

contemplate how sexy fire benders are?

sounds good to me

Have fun though

**MORGAN**

i saw the first episode

**…**

**EMILY**

new homestuck?

let's not forget the ba-ness of rose!

**JESSICA**

Ahaha, that was such a great update (other than Hussie's apparent hatred of Guy Fieri. But then, he doesn't like Olive Garden either.)

**JESSICA**

Homestuck update

GCat is not infallible? What?

The Summoner's powers are pretty strong. She's got GCat and Terezi's ancestor's dragon.

Also, what's Aradia's power? levetation?

**JESSICA**

JAKE'S DEAD D:

GT: Yeah i know the feeling.

GT: Wait...

TT: What?

GT: Dirk didnt you tell me at some point that you did find evidence the witch killed them?

TT: As of now? No.

GT: Are you sure? I SWEAR i remember you saying something about that.

TT: How could I have said anything like that before today? This was obviously the first time I mentioned any of this.

GT: Oh.

GT: I am just having the NUTTIEST deja vu thing going on now. I feel weird.

TT: ...

GT: I guess i am mistaken. Never mind

**MORGAN**

OR HE'S DREAMING, YOU DON'T KNOW!

*actually, you know what... you're probably right*

*he's probably dead*

**JESSICA**

HE COULD BE DEAD D''''''X

**MORGAN**

cause many things have been pointing to this

**JESSICA**

Yup

**MORGAN**

BUT

"Hope Survives!"

**JESSICA**

Doesn't mean it can't die first

**MORGAN**

ooh, yeah i know, but anyway

kalyn just said that, you know, could still be a dream bubble

but... jake is still unconscious... but is he dead or just knocked out?

honestly at this point, it could be either way

**JESSICA**

Yeah, i figured the dream bubble thing. THat's why I said he was dead

**MORGAN**

yeah, but that could also just mean that he's dreaming

like when rose knocked dave out when they were on the meteor

thing

derse

whatever

**JESSICA**

Oooh, yeah, I see what you mean

I think, wait

K, so, he had the dark thought bubble thing like John and Dave (right? I remember John's experience better), but they didn't relive memories, did they?

**MORGAN**

yeah... they did

**JESSICA**

Oh...k

**MORGAN**

that's always the first thing that happens in dream bubbles

**JESSICA**

Yeah, but ... yeah

**MORGAN**

they relive some memory, almost like an ice breaker, before one of them has dejavu, and then the other is all, oh yeah!

and then, either that other person and they have a conversation about death or something, or a different person who was posing as the other convo partner talks to the dejavu feeler.

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I knew that, I just forgot that was what happened to John and Dave

All I could think of was John meeting with the ancestor troll

**And romantic things were discussed. Particularly semi-humping. (I only took it out because it took up more than 10 pages and had absolutely nothing to do with Homestuck.) [LAWL WHAT JESSICA]**

**KALYN**

Aradia's power was there? I only saw Vriska, Tavros and Sollux... Did she have ALL the powers?

(Sorry, I'm responding to way back here.)

Also, it is possible that Jake is still alive, but I'm pretty sure he's been dead the whole time, since Jane entered the medium. Because of his lantern being snuffed and the prophecies.

But if it weren't for that, I would probably just say he's been knocked out.

And.. yeah

Also. Dirk needs to fulfill that movie poster prophecy, goddamnit.

**JESSICA**

At the very least she had Vriska, Tavros and Aradia (that I saw). I'm sure Sollux's was in there. Wait, that was her arm, wasn't it? Aradia's symbol flashed with the Vriska's and Tav's

Also, in today's update (which I haven't finished, and I'm going soley off the picture), I think he is going to meet up with Aranea at the very least. Maybe Terezi as well. When we left those two they were going up a tree-vine thing, and that vine thing has entered Jake's room (or I assume so. It looks to be the same color)

**JESSICA**

So, yeah, back to reading

lol "Pages really are a slow burning class."

Interesting: "Dream bubbles don't always need to be shared by dreamers or dead people. You can go to sleep and wake up in one alone, reliving an old memory"

So, since it is a dream bubble, could he have affected what he said at the beginning but not remember that wasn't supposed to be how it went (great syntax! )

**MORGAN**

he's not dead

**JESSICA**

When he thought Dirk was going to confess something other than being from the future, and Jake thought he was going to confess something else. Could that (I KNOW HE'S NOT DEAD) have been him using what he knows now? Like in a normal memory, only he's reliving it.

"i tumbled off the doohickey" I wonder if that's a technical term, lol

Hopy shit, things just got deep! "GT: Its like you are surrounding me from all sides with imitations of yourself but never the REAL YOU!"

I love the way Jake talks, have I mentioned that before?

**JESSICA**

Again, interesting: "TT: Pages have a lot of untapped potential.

TT: That's practically all there is to the class, actually.

TT: But when they eventually find it, look out.

TT: And the ones who deal in hope? Shit, man.

TT: I'm scared of you already, and I'm not even real"

**JESSICA**

I wonder what it is they can actually do?

(bluh, no thoughts forming, too tired x.x that's it from me for tonight, i guess...got homework to do too)

**JESSICA**

Ok, random note. "Modern Western European langages ar written in the Roman alpahebt because Western Europeans were converted to Christianigy from Rome." THE FUCK DOES CHRISTIANITY HAVE TO DO WITH ALPHABETS? Because the Bible was printed with the Roman alphabet? Is that your reasoning? Why couldn't they just say "because Rome conquered them. All of them. Because they were bastards."

**JESSICA**

(that is /geography/ homework, btw)

**JESSICA**

teehee, quoting movies

"GT: SO THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG?

GT: TO GIVE ME A BONER?

TT: And you

TT: ...

TT: ...

TT: ...

TT: ...

TT: Got one."

**JESSICA**

loved this last update XD

**EMILY**

calm down

i'm reading it

**MORGAN**

omigod lawl

just lawl

i can't

lost ability to can

just all gone

**EMILY**

NO

STOP

I'M NOT DONE YET

**MORGAN**

i haven't even spoiled anything

**EMILY**

ok yes

that was wonderful

**MORGAN**

i agree

**EMILY**

just excellence

**MORGAN**

indeed

**JESSICA**

toldja it was good

**MORGAN**

teeheeheehee you guys, the update today is adorable and funny

It's with Jack, and I just love how he narrates Jack.

**JESSICA**

Sadly, creeping attempts fail because she doesn't look at me. But I pretty much make all of those faces.

I'll read the update when I get home

**EMILY**

half of those were from yesterday

**MORGAN**

yeah well, I didn't have time yesterday, so

**MORGAN**

.com/post/22197093613/of-all-the-people-who-could-possibly-come-knocking

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS OMG I LOVE HOW SUPERSTUCK INCORPORATES THE UPDATES HOLY SHIT OMFG

**JESSICA**

Oh no. I already know where this is going D: haven't even started reading the update. Eventually he's going to get out, he's going to find magical elves who steal children and carve incantations onto their skins, and a unicorn. He's gonna accidently harpoon one of his buddies and, in a desperate attempt to escape, will just shoot it. But he can't live with what he did. It's too terrible! He'll take his gun that he acquired earlier on and shoot himself.

**JESSICA**

Also, a pumpkin will mysteriously disappear

this is exactlyl like Jailbreak (at least the beginning)

(Which you should read jailbreak, it's pretty short)

(so's bardquest)

THE KEY IS A GUN! D: (i'm just calling it when it says "there is no key in this room")

aw, damn

**JESSICA**

ehehehe "Who the hell needs a trusty knife when you are this resourceful? Screw knives!

You take it back, you can't stay mad at knives"

I agree, Morgan. The way he narrates Jack is great

**JESSICA**

And, yeah, Superstuck will incorporate the updates if they make sense. Like, if I remember correctly, Dirk's affections toward Jake became even more obvious after it was revealed as canon. It was no longer the stuff of dirty, slash ficlets.

**MORGAN**

hahahaha yeah

**JESSICA**

Gah, poor Jake

just read Superstuck

x.x

**(some time later)**

**KALYN**

I taught my media history teacher what shipping is and also Homestuck, which she now wants to check out

**JESSICA**

hahahahaha

**KALYN**

('cept she called it "Homestruck" lol)

**JESSICA**

I should show her that Master Yorgi video XD

DO NOT READ A WEBCOMIC CALLED HOMESTUCK!

**KALYN**

oh the don't read Homestuck one?

haha

**JESSICA**

yeah

so true though

I have sold my soul to Hussie and he will forever be able to twirl me around his finger

**KALYN**

.com/watch?v=2aJqxFbVl7I

THIS[S] CircusStuck [P]

**JESSICA**

hold up, taking a test

i'll watch it afterward

**KALYN**

.com/watch?v=O12WvCj_jqU

K[S] CircusStuck [P2]

**KALYN**

.com/watch?v=HDMzJjiSFW4

But then this is what it became. Totally absurd [EP1]

**KALYN**

Welp. At least Eridan's character is even more dimensional than usual.

**KALYN**

.com/

There's a tumblr for it though, so I'll just peruse this...Circus Stuck

**JESSICA**

yeah

i don't think i'm going to take another class online .

**KALYN**

fuck someone broke tumblr

was there something important happening in a fandom tonight?

FUCK

**JESSICA**

I haven't a clue

**KALYN**

whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

**JESSICA**

I DON'T KNOW!

**KALYN**

I was going through that circusstuck blog!

D:

**JESSICA**

You'll just have to either wait until tomorrow, or until much later tonight

them's the breaks, sweetheart

**KALYN**

so I'm complaining on facebook about it

also: lawl at the Homestuck updates

**JESSICA**

Is it going to be a tl;dr status?

**KALYN**

no

it's definitely not

just three words

there's already 10 comments on it

and three likes

**JESSICA**

...

**KALYN**

11 comments

**JESSICA**

i'm gonna have to get in on this shit

13 now, btw

**KALYN**

yeah lol

**EMILY**

holy shit guys

i have to read all this

**KALYN**

TUMBLR BROOOOOKE

**JESSICA**

Hopy shit Emily

**EMILY**

how did tumblr break?

**KALYN**

I don't know!

I want to know what fandom is behind this bullshit!

**JESSICA**

War of Thrones

or whatever

**KALYN**

wait

really?

you knew who was behind this and you didn't tell me?

**JESSICA**

HOW WOULD I KNOW?

**KALYN**

ol

lol*

OTL

**JESSICA**

because I'm a fucking tease

always

**EMILY**

i'm really enjoying this chef boyardee

**JESSICA**

that is my default setting

**EMILY**

it's just pure deliciousness

**twenty pages later**

**JESSICA**

lol, good going Jack!

**KALYN**

XD

**EMILY**

did you guys switch to homestuck?

**JESSICA**

momentarily

unless you have more to add

**EMILY**

a

so...

uhhh

**JESSICA**

such as the symbolism behind canine fancy reading

**EMILY**

dog calendar

couldn't at least be porn?

**JESSICA**

bowow chick bow

*chicka

**EMILY**

yeah

**EMILY**

dailygrace and joe moses (starkid)

holy

shit

just

holy

shit

**KALYN**

oh

ok

**JESSICA**

I think Emily's brain is broken

**EMILY**

just

wow

**KALYN**

now you know how I feel about Jay Park being in Nigahiga's bromance video...

**EMILY**

haha

i still love that video

but holy shit

fandom combining

this needs to happen often

can starkid make a kpop play

or some of that shit

because then i will cry/die

**JESSICA**

They could make the coolest series of plays: Homestuck

2 Acts per play

**EMILY**

HOLY SHIT YES

THAT SHOULD HAPPEN

or k*jem could have a homestuck song

**JESSICA**

how would that even go?

maybe a love song

**EMILY**

it could at least be homestuck inspired

**JESSICA**

with ALL the quadrants!

and ALL the canon ships!

**EMILY**

yeaaaaaas

my love for you is so red you don't even know yo

we're so black i can't even see straight

(i'm trying to think of my rap)

**JESSICA**

lol

**…**

**EMILY**

someone just complained on tumblr about a non-canon shipping

seriously?

like, they were talking about how much they don't like sirius/remus because sirius isn't gay and remus/tonks were married and shit

**KALYN**

haha whatever

shippers gonna ship

**JESSICA**

how do they know Sirius isn't gay?

**EMILY**

DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUUH

**KALYN**

true dat

lawl Emily

**EMILY**

biches

**JESSICA**

Dumbledore was gay and there wasn't really anything that pointed to that

SO SLOW TYPING, FACEBOOK LAGGING!

**EMILY**

boo ya

**JESSICA**

but, yeah

Remus could have been bi

**EMILY**

but it really annoys me when i see starkid things on just harry potter stuff

or people are like OH HEY OMG IT'S BATMAN

**JESSICA**

or...Tonks could have shaped herself into a man? ...

**KALYN**

ij

ih

ok

**EMILY**

ij?

**EMILY**

ih?

but yeah

**KALYN**

can't see my keyboard

**EMILY**

that annoys me

you don't like batman you like bman

**JESSICA**

HOMESKEYS!

**EMILY**

BACKLIGHTED KEYBOARD

**JESSICA**

HOME ROW!

**EMILY**

FUCK YEAH

**JESSICA**

bumps on J and F

**EMILY**

LOVE MY KEYBOARD

**JESSICA**

AH!

FUCK YEAH! *

I'm gettin' off now

**EMILY**

k

**KALYN**

asshole!

**JESSICA**

facebook is being too laggy, my computer is gettin' kinda hot, and I wanna read

**KALYN**

fine

**JESSICA**

LOVE YOU!

**KALYN**

yeah I should go to sleep too, I have shit to do in the morning, and all day, it's gonna be long

**EMILY**

i want papa johns pizza

**JESSICA**

Love you always!

**EMILY**

stupid ad

**KALYN**

Love ya

'll

**EMILY**

i won't do shit until 2

you leaving too?

**KALYN**

^usually how my day goes

**EMILY**

asshole

i have to go to work then

**KALYN**

I'll see if I can stay up longer, hang on

**EMILY**

yay!

wait

uhh

**KALYN**

hm

ok yeah I'm just gonna be a few minutes

**EMILY**

yay!

sup?

i so gonna hump your ass in that airport

**KALYN**

you better make onlookers extremely uncomfortable with the level of humping you'll be doing on my ass.

**EMILY**

yes

oh yes

poor little kids

they will witness my humping

**KALYN**

lol

brb bathroom

**EMILY**

they will learn the ways of the world from my humping

**KALYN**

an update on that circusstuck shit I don't think anyone watched: after perusing the tumblr for it, I've learned that that actual "episode" is pretty much the SBaHJ of this whole CircusStuck thing, and they haven't started the production of serious shit yet

so it's not just a big epic disappointment

**EMILY**

i was gonna read all that shit when ya'll stopped talking

cause things dumb

**KALYN**

ok

**EMILY**

so...yeah

**…**

**JESSICA**

Ladies, by the way, I am going out of town this weekend (leaving tomorrow), so, I won't be able to see you until Monday

Which really sucks

You might even say it sucks balls

**JESSICA**

I think that would be how not cool it is, but it is an obligation I cannot get out of (and when I mentioned that I might not go, Mom gave me such a guilt trip, like, hard core, Jewish mom guilt trip)

I just wanted you guys to know (particularly Morgan and Kalyn, since I haven't seen you guys IN FOREVER!)

**JESSICA**

I KNOW WHY I'VE BEEN BEING SO SNARKY LATELY!

It's the profile picture!

(I realize that "being" is superfluous and I should probably take it out...If I could edit these messages...like you can with skype...myup)

(so, take it out wihth your imagination. Or take a sniper rifle, that would work too)

**MORGAN**

hahahaha but also sad

**JESSICA**

Yeah, I know. On the bright side! We're leaving a day earlier than I thought, but we're also coming HOME a day earlier I'll be back Saturday night, soooooo Sunday I'll be home! If you wanna hit me up. Just sayin'

**KALYN**

Totes

**…**

**JESSICA**

anyway, Jack is such a good samaritan. Prospit should people like him serving the greater good.

*should have more people


End file.
